Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

She didn't check in with me.

And she obviously hasn't checked in with gopher.

He's already worn 2 inches down on the deck.

Any sign of her, goph?

Uh, no.

But, well, maybe she just canceled out at the last minute.

You know, it happens.

Who is this Leslie Palmer, anyway?

She sounds special.

Well, she was, um, the first real love of my life.

That's all.

I even asked her to marry me.

That's special.

Yeah.

She turned me down, though.

You know, it's funny. That happened a long time ago.

Still has an effect on me.

You must have gotten over it by now, though.

Well, yeah, but, I mean, when you propose to a woman

and she rejects you, how do you act?

Hmm?

Act naturally.

Naturally.

Yeah. Just be pleasant, friendly.

Pleasant and friendly and calm.

Burl!

Leslie, how are you? It's nice to see...

Oh!

I don't know how many more of these rejections he can take.

Ooh, what a hunk.

Hey, good lookin'.

What are you doing?

I'm doing it for you, Melanie. He's gorgeous.

Okay. He was gorgeous.

But I do my own picking and choosing.

I know -- world's worst taste in men.

I hear ace is off collecting an award

he got for shipboard photography.

Yes.

And he won with a picture he took of me.

Oh, I didn't know ace was into trick photography.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Judy McCoy, your cruise director.

Oh, no.

Don't think you can hide behind those dark glasses.

Hmm?

Doc, this man poisoned Tom rankin.

He impregnated Charlotte duvall.

And he's having a torrid love affair with his sister-in-law.

Guilty as charged.

Is this game open to everyone?

Dr. Adam bricker, this is David swick.

He's Bradley caine on "web of evil."

Well, hi.

Hi.

The sleaziest villain in all of soap operas.

It's an honor to have you aboard...

Thank you.

...i think.

I assume you're on the lam?

Fictionally, yes.

Factually, I have a little time off,

so I thought I'd relax and, uh...

Study some lines.

It's nice to see you again. Enjoy the cruise.

Hello, merrill, Vicki.

Hi, Mrs. Chapman!

Blair! Don't tell me.

You finally took our advice and booked yourself a cruise?

Well, you've been very persuasive, merrill.

You're one of the nicest neighbors anybody ever had.

Because you two are never home to borrow from.

You mean you took this cruise just to borrow a cup of sugar?

[ Laughs ]

Now, that's what I call a good-looking lady.

But that's not what you're here for.

What am I here for?

I mean, I didn't make reservations for a cruise.

Look in your pocket.

It's all been arranged.

Excuse me, weatherby.

Hi. I'm Jack Davidson.

Can I give you a hand with that?

Oh, I think I can manage.

But thanks for asking.

Don't mention it.

So, was that it?

I'm afraid offering to help someone with their luggage

is hardly enough.

What does a guy have to do?

You're not going for a boy scout merit badge.

You're trying to get into heaven.

I know. But, remember, I haven't been dead very long.

[ Air horn blows ]

♪♪

Excuse me a minute.

It's nice.

You interested in horses?

Oh, it's my second choice.

Since you're looking at horse pictures,

how about looking at a picture of a real horse?

[ Gasps ] He's yours?

Mm-hmm.

You're a horse freak, too?

Of the first order.

He's beautiful.

Thank you.

David swick.

Melanie Tate.

I teach riding back home.

Well, lucky you.

[ Chuckles ] Sit down.

It's not a horse, but jump in the saddle.

Thank you.

Hello.

Melanie, no!

Who's that?

My mother.

Oh, no. No, no.

You get away from my daughter, Bradley caine.

What's the matter with you, mother?

This is David swick.

David swick, my foot. He's Bradley caine --

a murderer, a thief, and an adulterer.

Mrs. Tate, i am David swick.

Bradley caine is just a character

I play on a soap opera.

Oh, my lord. Mother!

Well, I knew that.

I was just joking.

See you in the cabin, Melanie.

So nice to have met you, Mr. Caine.

Swick!

I'm sorry. I really am.

That's all right. That happens all the time.

I'm just glad she didn't slug me.

[ Both chuckle ]

You probably don't even remember this.

I was always hanging out at the school yearbook office

'cause I was the, uh...

You were the assistant editor

and circulation manager.

Thank you.

Burl, you were the best salesman in the whole class.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Then how come I was never able to sell you on me?

Well, maybe I just wasn't in the buying mood.

But that was then, and this is now.

Do you mind?

Oh, sure. In fact, it's my job.

[ Chuckles ]

Are you kidding me?

You've done very well for yourself.

Oh, well, sure.

I've got room, board,

a decent salary, a generous pension,

uh, all the sharp uniforms I can wear.

People call me sir now.

And I've got a social schedule even Burt Reynolds would envy.

Is there a future Mrs. Smith on the horizon?

Not on this watch, no.

But I've been on the lookout.

And, well, I don't want to brag,

but I've had, uh, a few sightings

and an occasional boarding.

[ Chuckles ] Burl.

You always did have a terrific sense of humor.

Well, listen, I've got to go.

But if there's anything you need, anything that you want,

you know, I'm right around --

oh, there is, burl.

Hmm?

Be my escort for dinner tonight.

And, uh, I'll tell you how you became an officer.

You'll tell me?

Oh, sure.

I clipped it out of the daily herald feature section --

"local boy named Princess purser of the year."

Huh?

You saved that article?!

[ Laughs ]

I thought I bought up all the copies.

♪♪

Uh, excuse me. Is this chair taken?

No.

I was saving it for you.

Weatherby!

I thought you just came to see me off.

I mean, I thought you'd be back up in heaven by now.

It's an easy commute for an angel.

I still don't understand why they won't let me in.

I mean, what did I do that was so terrible?

I didn't kill anyone or covet my neighbor's wife.

I honored my mother and father.

I didn't break any of the big 10.

True. Your sin was one of omission.

Never once in your entire life

did you do a truly loving thing for someone else.

Come on, weatherby.

I've loved more women in my lifetime

than -- than three men.

And I was nice to all of them.

But only so that they, in turn, would be nice to you.

No, I am afraid that, as a taker instead of a giver,

you led a rather selfish life.

Great.

I get my own personal commandment.

You're also getting a second chance.

I told you -- just perform one totally selfless act.

That's all.

But you're never gonna do it

by sitting around complaining about it.

Remember, when this cruise is over,

so is your second and last chance.

Okay. Okay.

Hey. Hey!

Hey, need a place to sit? Here.

Take this. Enjoy yourself.

Well, did I catch the brass halo with that one?

Not even close.

Hi.

Hi.

Jack Davidson, right?

Good memory.

Blair Chapman.

Hello, Blair.

Tall Tom Collins, please, bartender.

That sure was sweet of you to offer that lady your chair.

I'm glad chivalry isn't dead.

Oh, please. I hate that word.

What, "chivalry"?

No, "dead."

One tall Tom Collins.

That is tall.

Yes.

Don't start what you can't finish.

Um, listen. I, uh --

i have something kind of pressing to take care of.

Talk to you later?

I'll be around.

So will I.

For a while.

♪♪

[ Crowd gasps ]

Now, will you listen to me?

No.

You listen to me.

I warned you that if you kept watching all those soap operas,

your mind would turn to silly putty.

Bradley caine.

Oh, boy.

Oh, all right. So I got carried away.

But Mark my words -- no one can play Bradley caine

without some of it rubbing off.

There's evil in that man.

Come on, mom.

David swick's one of the nicest men I've ever met.

Oh, sure. [ Chuckles ]

He's always nice to young girls.

He was nice to Debbie Blake.

And she ended up in a home for unwed mothers.

Oh.

Hi, Mr. Swick.

Good evening.

I assume you're having dinner with Melanie Tate.

No, I'm afraid not.

I don't want to spoil her mother's appetite.

She can't separate me from Bradley caine,

the villain I play on TV.

She thinks we're one and the same.

Mrs. Tate is really involved in your show.

Involved? She lives it.

And she'd probably give anything

to know what's going to happen to all the characters.

Oh, right. I could tip her off to everything

that's gonna happen within the next six months.

And she could run home to all her soap-opera buddies

knowing every tawdry secret.

She'd be queen of the neighborhood.

And mad about the guy who filled her in.

Now, why didn't sneaky Bradley caine think of that?

He just did.

Excuse me.

David's coming. Now be nice.

If he sits, I split.

He's just after your body.

Oh.

Good evening.

Hi.

Good evening.

Well, I'm sorry to break in on you like this,

but I've been on the telephone with our story editor.

You are not gonna believe what's gonna happen

between Nora lockridge and her chauffeur.

Oh!

You mean you know what's gonna happen

to all the characters?

Oh, sure.

Story lines are set about six months in advance.

Do you know the new woman in Roger Courtney's life?

Edith Mars.

Yes.

Well, Roger doesn't know it, but she's not really a woman.

She's a football player who had a sex-change operation.

Holy Toledo!

Well, I will see you all after dessert and --

no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Please, sit and, um, tell me everything.

Oh, waiter.

Would you bring another chair?

And champagne.

Your order, sir?

Oh, great timing, weatherby.

Now you show up.

I bought an electric razor for a guy in the gift shop,

a perfect stranger,

and you didn't even see it.

I see everything, Jack.

Unfortunately, you see very little.

Now, what the he--

heck is that supposed to mean?

Sure you don't mind my not eating at your table, merrill?

When he phoned, I didn't say yes.

I just said maybe.

Of course I don't mind.

I'm delighted you met someone.

That's what cruises are for.

[ Chuckles ] Thanks, neighbor.

Surprise.

Oh.

And, uh, a gift-wrapped surprise at that.

Glad you could make it.

I am, too.

Madam.

Oh, thank you.

May I recommend the angel's hair pasta?

It's my personal favorite.

Oh, it sounds wonderful. I love pasta.

Thank you.

Well, all I know about you is your name

and that you love pasta.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, that's about as exotic as it gets.

I live alone in Los Angeles.

And, uh...

This is the first cruise I've ever been on.

How about you?

My first cruise, too.

Where do you live?

Heaven only knows.

I'm in the process of moving.

So you're kind of up in the air.

Let's hope.

Well, we seem to have been deserted tonight.

Hm.

Yes.

I lost Blair to another man.

Ace is away.

Gopher has abandoned us.

He's dining with an old friend.

I understand she's a girl he proposed to once.

Oh, that's so romantic.

I also understand she turned him down.

Oh, doc. So what?

He was in love with her once.

You've lost your sense of romance.

I couldn't. I have four ex-wives to remind me.

[ Laughter ]

All in all, they seem to be getting along remarkably well.

Thank you very much.

These -- I don't know how you say it.

Mm, mm, mm. Poire a la bartlettes.

Pears in wine.

Well, they're delicious.

Mm-hmm.

And you know those little lobsters we had earlier?

Mm. Langoustine.

Little lobsters.

Lobsters that are shrimp.

[ Chuckles ]

I import them and lay them in for each cruise.

You order the ship's food, too?

Yes, ma'am.

Well, I'll tell you, you are the answer

to every woman's dreams --

a man who knows his way around the grocery store,

and not just the liquor department and the pretzel rack.

I have to warn you -- I can only shop for 700 people.

Well, you would be so much fun to cook for.

You're so sophisticated.

Yes, I am.

Thank you.

♪♪

[ Slow music plays ]

You've made her one happy lady.

I just hope she doesn't get too happy.

She loves champagne.

No.

She's just celebrating,

thinking about how crazy she's gonna make all of her friends

when she gets back home.

[ Music ends, applause ]

You can't have him all night.

Mother!

I don't believe you.

I couldn't resist.

You even dance evil.

Let's be evil together.

Come dance with me to the casbah.

Oh.

[ Tango plays ]

This Jack Davidson sounds like quite a guy.

Why didn't he come with you?

Oh, he's here.

He's been dancing with other women all evening.

[ Chuckles ] See?

Thank you.

My pleasure, twinkle toes.

If you'd like to boogie later, just holler.

Jack.

Jack Davidson, captain merrill stubing.

It's a pleasure, Jack.

It's my pleasure, captain.

You know, none of those ladies would have had the opportunity

to dance if you hadn't asked them.

I think that was a wonderful thing to do.

Not wonderful enough, I'm afraid.

What are you talking about?

You put a smile on every one of their faces.

And now you're putting one on mine.

Captain, may I?

Certainly.

I am really glad that we met the second time around.

I'm really glad, too.

Well, while I freshen up, why don't you get us a drink?

Okay.

Champagne all right?

What year?

Well, the even years are usually the best.

I should have known.

We broke up in an odd year.

I'll be back.

♪♪

I'll get your mother back to the cabin.

Then I'll meet you on the deck.

I'll be the one framed in the moonlight.

No, here.

Let me help you.

No, I don't need any help.

I can make it. Aah!

Careful! Oh.

Don't you touch me!

Mom, what happened?

Well, I was just trying to help her.

You did not! You pushed me!

He shoved me right down the staircase!

Oh, I knew I shouldn't have trusted you, Bradley caine!

♪♪

[ Breathes deeply ]

Beautiful night about to come to an end.

It doesn't have to end.

[ Chuckles ] Well, I've got to get to bed.

But it really has been wonderful.

Well, okay.

Uh, in that case, how about a kiss for old times' sake?

How about another, for new times' sake?

Oh, I can't remember when I had such a lovely evening, Jack.

We dock in acapulco tomorrow.

Would I be pushing my luck to ask you to spend the whole day

doing the town with me?

Push all you want.

You've got a date.

Great.

I wish we could somehow recapture time.

I missed so much not knowing you before.

What's the matter?

Oh, it's nothing.

Sometimes I just get overly emotional.

That's all right.

It's nice to be able to express your feelings.

Come on. I'll walk you to your cabin.

Oh, no.

Please, let's just say good night here.

For me, this has been an enchanting evening.

All day in acapulco.

Sometimes I worry about your priorities.

Now, look, weatherby.

She's the most fantastic woman I've ever known.

I'm not gonna be around much longer.

And I'm gonna spend as much time with her as I can.

Very well.

Your choices are your own -- for now.

Time is running out.

♪♪

Well, here we are, safe and sound.

Good night, Leslie.

Where are you going?

I thought you said you wanted to go to sleep.

Who said anything about sleep?

I said I wanted to go to bed.

♪♪

David, I know it wasn't your fault my mother fell.

Your mother doesn't seem to think so.

Don't worry about it. Forget it.

I'm just glad it was only a minor sprained ankle.

Okay. I've forgotten about it.

How about this afternoon?

Hi. Excuse me.

I just dropped in on your mother.

She's doing fine.

On the outside.

Inside, I think she's still a little shaky.

I know.

She asked for a guard to be stationed

outside her cabin door.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Well, enjoy your day.

Thank you.

When your show needs a new writer, hire my mother.

What an incredible imagination she has.

I'll have a Spanish omelet, please.

Divine choice.

Weatherby!

Where have you been this morning?

I've already returned a lost wallet.

I've already given a lady a ride around the deck

in her wheelchair.

Onions, sir?

Forget the onions.

I helped a lost kid find his parents.

Ah, I already know everything you've done,

including making your own bed

so the maid wouldn't have to do it this morning.

All unselfish acts, every one of them.

Acts of kindness, to be sure, but hardly unselfish.

You only did them so you'd be admitted into heaven.

But isn't that the whole point?

Oh, the point is that you are missing the point.

Do you think you're really going to find it

by going into acapulco with that woman?

I guess you're right.

Can't afford to risk my whole future for just one day.

Jack!

The captain says we'll be in acapulco soon.

I know it sounds silly, but I can't remember the last time

I was so excited about anything.

Blair, I can't...

Can't what?

I can't wait to get there!

We'll have the time of our lives!

I never understand mortals.

♪♪

Welcome to glorious acapulco.

This slice of tropical paradise

offers sunshine, charm, and all the magic of Mexico.

Be sure to sign up at the purser's desk

for the special land tours.

Hasta luego.

Gopher, I think you're making too much out of it.

Isaac, I'm telling you,

her whole attitude is different.

Last night, she was romantic.

And today, it's like she's a million miles away.

Well, maybe she's just not a morning person.

No, it's not that. It's something else.

Something is bothering her.

Or I suppose it's possible

I mistook a physical friendship for love.

Why don't you ask her?

Put your fears to rest or confirm them.

But at least you'll know the truth.

The truth often hurts.

It can.

But isn't it better to know?

I'll have to get back to you on that.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

I'm telling you, it was a plot.

That monster was after me from the first moment he saw me.

I should have had the doctor check you for brain damage.

David swick pushed me down those stairs.

How would you know?

You were bombed out of your mind.

I was not!

I'm telling you, David swick did it.

It was the Bradley caine in him.

Oh!

I gave up a day in port with David to listen to this.

He wants to get me out of the way

so he can get at you.

Mom, he can get at me any time he wants.

He's the man I've been looking for all my life.

Him?

Yes.

And I'll tell you something else --

if he ever asked me to marry him, I would.

Marry him? Oh, no.

He's already poisoned one mother-in-law.

♪♪

I hope you understand about this morning.

I just needed some time to myself.

Are you sure?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Because I would hate to think

that I made a fool of myself over the same lady twice.

Burl, listen to me.

You see, I was surprised,

and I was moved by the man you've become.

And I guess I just wasn't prepared to feel as deeply

for you as I do.

And I needed to catch my breath.

Well, I think I better catch mine

because what that sounds like is that you're saying

that you're in love with me.

I believe I am.

Okay.

Hold that thought.

Oh. Um...

[ Breathes deeply ]

Leslie, for the second time in my life,

I'm asking, will you marry me?

For the first time in my life,

I'm saying yes.

Yes?

Yes!

Oh!

Oh.

♪♪

This has been what I call a peachy day.

And you're what I call a peachy woman.

Oh, Jack.

I think I'm falling in love with you.

You're a little slow.

I've already fallen in love with you.

Oh, I'm so happy.

Oh.

I wish I could stay like this for the rest of my life.

♪♪

We hope you enjoyed your stay in acapulco.

On behalf of the passengers,

our captain has put in a special order

for smooth seas and starry skies.

Unless he's lost his touch, it should be a great trip home.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Glass ringing ]

Uh, excuse me, please.

I think you all know why I've called you here tonight.

I would like to do something

that I have wanted to do for a long time.

Hey. Great.

Look at that.

Oh, burl, it's the same ring.

It's the same one you offered me years ago.

Except now it's paid for.

Well, it's even more beautiful than before.

Uh, merrill, would you give us a few words?

Gopher, we thank you for sharing this moment of joy with us.

Leslie, we are warmed by your glow.

We welcome you.

We share your happiness.

And we ask you one thing --

love him as much as we do.

Here's to happiness.

Here's to love.

And may you never have one without the other.

♪♪

The, uh, clasp won't snap.

Oh.

Good.

There.

I love it. Thank you.

You're so sweet.

Speaking of, uh, sweet, how's your mother?

Oh, please. Don't ask.

What happened?

We had another big fuss.

She's given me an ultimatum --

I have to choose between you and her.

Oh?

I think it's about time that I settle this situation

between your mother and me once and for all.

[ Knock on door ]

Coming.

Hi. I'm all ready.

Blair.

Blair, there's something I have to talk to you about.

Well, it sounds serious.

Can I fix you a drink?

Let me tell you what I have to say before I lose my nerve.

[ Sighs ]

This is just the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Blair, I can't see you anymore.

It's not that I don't love you.

I do.

Then what is it?

If we keep seeing each other, you'll only end up getting hurt.

There's just no way we can have a future together.

I'm not sure I understand.

It's all very complicated.

I can't really explain it to you.

Perhaps it's for the best.

Blair, I'm sorry.

[ Sighs ]

I'll always remember you with joy in my heart.

♪♪

Who is it?

David: Steward, ma'am.

Come in.

You get out of here.

We have nothing to say to each other.

Oh, yes, we do.

And don't you give me that Bradley caine tone of voice.

There are times when Bradley caine

can settle things far better than David swick.

♪♪

What I was thinking we can do is get a little place

up the coast, you see?

And then you could be close to the farms,

and I could be close to the ocean.

What do you think?

[ Sighs ]

They really love you, don't they?

Who really loves me?

The crew.

It's like you're a part of a family.

Well, we've been together a long time.

No, burl.

It's more than that. [ Sighs ]

You know, at the party,

i realized that they want nothing more for you

than for you to be happy.

Well, I am happy now that I have you.

You're making this very difficult for me.

Burl...

Hmm?

I don't think I can go through with this wedding.

You need more time?

No.

I've had plenty of time --

time to dig up our old yearbook and a newspaper,

time to brush up on all the things

that I couldn't remember about you,

time to figure out how to make you marry me.

Well, you got your wish. I'm ready, willing, and able.

But I'm not, burl.

I thought that we said that we loved each other.

I've grown to love you and what you've become.

But I'm not in love with you.

Then why did you say yes?

Because I need a husband.

I'm pregnant with somebody else's baby.

So...

What you were looking for was just some guy

to play father, hmm?

And what I found was a beautiful human being.

I'm sorry.

Forgive me, burl.

Thanks for letting me unload on you, doc.

Ah.

You must think mom and I are a couple of crazies.

No, I think you're both delightful.

And I also think David is very lucky.

Thank you.

I just hope mom hasn't murdered him.

Mrs. Tate: Ugh! Aah!

What is that? Mom?

[ Grunting ]

David: [ Grunting ]

Mom!

Let her go!

Wait a minute!

[ Shouting indistinctly ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Let him go!

Let him -- Melanie!

Leave him alone.

Will you please tell me

what the hell is going on here?

Yeah, I'd kind of like to know, too.

All right. What --

it's really very simple.

David and I were discussing our problems

when suddenly I got a potato chip

down the wrong way in my windpipe.

David realized I was choking, and he dragged me off the bed

and started to perform the heimlich maneuver.

Next, Melanie rushed in the room

and made a fool of herself again.

Oh, bless you, Bradley caine.

Oh, you saved my life.

Oh, my.

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

Busy, merrill?

Never too busy for a friend.

Good.

[ Sighs ]

I just need some company.

Is there something wrong, Blair?

Jack and I aren't going to see each other anymore.

Oh.

Well, sometimes these shipboard romances

never get their sea legs.

He said it wouldn't be fair to me to go on.

Hm.

The ironic thing is, I was trying to find a way

to tell him the same thing.

Well, then why so sad

if you wanted to break up with him anyway?

I didn't want to.

I had to.

How could I dream of giving Jack a future

when I don't have one myself?

Merrill, I --

I'm ill.

Ill?

Terminally ill.

They've tried everything.

There's nothing more they can do.

It's -- it's just a matter of months.

Blair...

...I'm sorry.

Took a while, but...

I've come to terms with it.

So I...

I decided to take a cruise and have some fun.

What I didn't count on was falling in love.

♪♪

You look rather depressed.

I'd jump overboard, but I'm already dead.

Well, there's no reason for despair.

Oh, no?

I just gave up the only woman I ever loved.

And I still don't have any idea of how to get into heaven.

Well, you certainly won't be our brightest addition.

What?

Breaking up with Blair to save her as much pain as possible

in spite of the hurt it caused you

was a very unselfish thing to do.

Swell. But that doesn't make me feel any better.

Wait a minute.

You mean I made it?

As I said, just one totally selfless act.

That's all.

That's some system you guys have.

I got to give up the girl I love in order to get into heaven,

where I'll be miserable without her.

Ah, no one is ever miserable in heaven

because heaven is always complete.

It won't be complete without Blair.

She'll be there soon.

Oh, no.

It's going to be a marriage made in heaven.

You mean...

Mr. Weatherby!

You really are an angel.

Yes, for some time now.

♪♪

Maybe you better put this on.

Can't have a new mom catching a cold out here,

you know.

Oh, burl.

Uh-oh.

Look at this.

Mm. See? Salt spray.

You've been standing too close to the railing.

[ Chuckles, sniffles ]

You know, I didn't have to look up everything about you

in the yearbook.

There was one thing that stood out in my memory.

What was that?

The way you always protected me.

You would never let anyone hurt me.

When I found out I was pregnant

by a man who didn't care about me or my baby,

I was so frightened.

I-I just didn't want to be hurt anymore.

You know, sometimes that hurt can make you stronger.

It's like what those body builders say.

You know -- "no pain, no gain."

This baby...

I don't know how i'm gonna deal with it alone.

Well, you don't have to deal with it alone

because I still want to marry you.

I want to be a father to that baby.

I'm great with kids.

I can't let you do this, burl.

You're so sweet.

I have lived enough of my life as a lie.

And I am gonna go home.

I'm gonna start this new life inside of me with the truth.

Okay.

But when the time comes for you to have that baby...

Yeah?

...if you need me, I'll be there.

All right?

[ Sniffles ]

Here. Here's what you do.

You tap out dash, dash, dot.

That's morse code. You understand?

That's "g."

That's gopher. That's me.

No. That's "g" for Galahad.

Oh, burl.

My baby may never have your name, burl,

but I hope it has your soul.

We better get out of here

before I get a little salt spray myself.

♪♪

Now, you take care of that ankle, Mrs. Tate.

Soon, you'll be as good as new.

Thanks, doc.

She better be.

She's got a wedding to go to.

That's great. Congratulations.

Can you imagine my daughter marrying Bradley caine?

Uh, David swick.

I'll still check for arsenic in the punch bowl.

Mother!

Coming.

It's been a wonderful cruise, merrill.

Thanks for everything,

especially the shoulder to lean on last night.

Just remember that next time I come to borrow a cup of sugar.

Take care.

Oh, Blair, wait.

Oh, I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye.

Oh, thanks, Jack. That means a lot to me.

And be happy because everything is gonna be fine.

I don't understand.

Don't worry.

I got it from a very high source.

Hey, Jack. I don't even know what you're talking about.

You will.

You're part of our early admissions program, too.

Now, what else? Oh. Oh, yeah.

I ordered a lamaze book

in case you need a coach in seven months.

All right?

All right.

Okay, one other thing --

I want you to keep the ring.

Burl, I can't accept the --

[ both chuckle ]

Oh, that is so precious.

So are you.

Oh.

Goodbye, my friend.

Okay. Now, remember...

If either of you need me...

I know.

Dash, dash...

Dash, dash, dot.

Dot.

Right.

Just call me.

It's good to know you'll be there.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Chuckles ]

Bye.

♪♪

♪♪