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1
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:38,159
I'm really looking forward
to this cruise to Alaska.
I've never been there.
2
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,956
Oh, well,
you will love it.
3
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,956
The scenery's spectacular.
4
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,080
Yeah, I'll say the scenery
is spectacular.
5
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,958
This cruise is
for ladies only.
6
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,958
[Laughs]
7
00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:48,255
Oh, good. Isaac,
you're here already.
8
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:50,969
Yeah, I brought the bubbly.
What's the big occasion?
9
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:50,969
I don't know.
10
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,010
Dad just told me to have
everybody come down here
11
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,314
and have you bring up
some champagne.
12
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,314
Only one bottle?
13
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:58,768
Can't be much of a party.
14
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:58,768
Say, where's Julie?
15
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,100
Well, I don't know.
I left a message
on her machine.
16
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,686
She's probably on her way.
17
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,311
Maybe the captain
is going to tell us
18
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,477
that the "ladies only"
cruise is off.
19
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,816
See you next cruise.
20
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,320
Ah, good afternoon,
everyone.
21
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,113
Captain, how you doing?
22
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,447
Merrill. What's up?
23
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:16,331
Nothing important, really.
24
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:20,749
Unless you consider it
important that Julie
got married.
25
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,500
What?
26
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,500
You're kidding!
27
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,002
She got married
last night.
28
00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:26,293
What, to Marty chenault?
29
00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:26,293
[Stubing] Yes.
30
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,837
Yes. She called and told me
she wanted all of us there,
31
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,632
but it was very spur
of the moment.
32
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:34,005
However, she wrote
each of us a note
33
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:37,223
and had them delivered.
34
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:37,223
Thank you.
35
00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:40,175
"Dear Vicki, I don't know
how I'm going to get along
36
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:43,016
without you and the rest
of my family on the ship.
37
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:44,692
I miss all of you already."
38
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,481
Oh, I'm so happy for Julie.
39
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:49,855
-"My darling gopher--"
-please. Read them later.
40
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,783
I don't want my office
to float away in a sea of tears.
41
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,702
A toast!
42
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,702
Doc.
43
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:55,821
Thanks, Isaac.
44
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,535
To Julie.
45
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,535
[All] To Julie.
46
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,539
May she have as much joy
as she brought to us.
47
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,252
Hear, hear.
48
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,252
Aw...
49
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,837
[Stubing on pa]
Welcome to our cruise
to Alaska for ladies only.
50
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:16,135
One of you lucky ladies
will win a date
51
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,809
with Engelbert Humperdinck,
who will join us in Juneau.
52
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,596
How about a shot right there?
How about a shot? Hmm?
53
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,944
Hello. How are you?
54
00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:29,439
Just fine, thank you.
Hi, how are you?
Nice to see you.
55
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,784
Hello.
56
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,784
Hello.
57
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,361
Isn't this something?
Hello!
58
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:38,526
Midnight sailing.
All these beautiful women.
59
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,366
I feel like a kid
in a candy store.
60
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,121
What a way
to get cavities, huh?
61
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,121
Yes.
62
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,418
Gentlemen.
63
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,418
[Gopher and ace] Sir!
64
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,748
This is our new cruise director,
bernice Bronson.
65
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,094
Miss Bronson,
this is our purser,
burl Smith.
66
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:53,209
Nice to have you with us.
67
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:53,209
And our ship's photographer,
ace Evans.
68
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:56,428
Hi.
69
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:56,428
Gopher, why don't you show
miss Bronson the ropes?
70
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,099
I'll see you
a little later.
71
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,099
Thank you, captain.
72
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:01,598
So, what would you like me
to show you first, bernice?
73
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,731
Some respect.
It's miss Bronson.
74
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:08,229
Besides, I've been doing
this job for almost 20 years.
75
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:11,113
So I don't think I have much
to learn from some kid
76
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:13,990
who probably has to put
tissue paper in his hatband
77
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:16,108
to keep it from falling down
over his ears.
78
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:20,405
Now look, lady, this is not
my first day on the job.
79
00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:23,791
I have been
the assistant purser
here for six years.
80
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,790
They may have
brought you along too fast.
81
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,538
It's ace, right?
82
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,538
Right.
83
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,455
Uh-huh.
I bet you're a card.
84
00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:55,992
Good luck.
85
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,116
Captain stubing?
I'm Jane Fletcher, hi.
86
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,116
Yes?
87
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,752
Fletcher travel agency.
88
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,752
Oh, of course.
We talked on the phone.
89
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,669
Yes.
90
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,669
It's a pleasure
to meet you in person.
91
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,498
Thank you.
92
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,498
This is my daughter,
Vicki.
93
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,673
Hello, Vicki.
94
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,673
Hi, how do you do?
95
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,712
The "ladies only" cruise
was Mrs. Fletcher's idea.
96
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,712
Yeah.
97
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:19,757
I can't believe that
so many women would want
to get away from men.
98
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,932
[Laughs]
I wouldn't have believed it
either at your age.
99
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:26,102
-But wait till you've been
married as long as I have.
-[Laughs]
100
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:29,062
I think it's great that
one of these ladies will win
a date with Engelbert.
101
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:32,313
Isn't it fun? And she'll be
on the cover of his new album.
102
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:35,357
Engelbert will pick the winner
when he joins us in Alaska.
103
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,401
Oh, boy, would I love
to stuff the ballot box.
104
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:54,252
Harry, this is ridiculous!
105
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:54,252
Relax, Ralph.
106
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,415
We look just like
any other woman on the cruise.
107
00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:02,335
Except for those two. Harry,
this is stretching friendship
a little too far.
108
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:07,267
Come here. Look, Jane is
on this ship, and I've got
to find out what she's up to.
109
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:11,228
You always think she's up
to something, and she's
never been up to nothing.
110
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:14,860
Yeah, but this one is different.
She arranged the whole trip.
111
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:17,529
Now you can bet there's
a man involved somewhere.
112
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,653
There she is.
113
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:35,746
Harry, what could she be up to?
This cruise is for ladies only.
114
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:39,455
Yeah, then who's that
with all the gold braid,
wonder woman?
115
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,047
May I help you,
ladies?
116
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,432
Oh, no, thank you, deary.
117
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,389
We're just looking
for the little girls' room.
118
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,140
[Giggles]
119
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:56,398
Look here, we've got ladies
as far as the eye can see.
120
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,901
Not interested. I've got
a date coming. Remember?
121
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,493
When you've got a girl
like Emily, one is enough.
122
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,739
Okay, we'll take
these two. Come on.
123
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:08,122
Ladies, ladies,
good evening.
124
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:08,122
Oh, hi.
125
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,241
Hello.
126
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,241
What are you men
doing here?
127
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,458
I thought this cruise
was only for women.
128
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,458
Well, somebody's
got to do the rowing.
129
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,750
[All laugh]
130
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:19,464
Listen, how about
a photograph, huh?
Gopher, ladies?
131
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,465
Uh, doc, come on. Doc?
132
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,465
Oh, no, no.
133
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,628
Doc, come on.
Just a little photograph.
134
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,967
Come on. Come on.
135
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,967
[Women] Come on!
136
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,771
Big smiles.
137
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,771
Very close together now.
138
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,058
All right.
139
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,601
Cozy?
140
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,601
Nice and cozy here.
141
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,194
[Ace] Okay?
142
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,194
Oh, wait, wait, wait...
143
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:42,150
Perfect. All right,
flash those pearlies!
144
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,985
-[Shutter clicks]
-Great. Beautiful.
145
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,530
One more, one more.
146
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,530
All right.
147
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:47,163
Everybody make a face,
all right?
148
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,580
[All chattering, laughing]
149
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:51,828
Guess who?
150
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,541
Uh, I give up.
151
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,673
Emily! Oh!
152
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,790
I'm so glad you're here.
153
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,790
[Emily] Yes.
154
00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:02,207
I can see you're
practicing to greet me.
155
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:07,046
Oh, I was just being nice
to the passengers.
It's part of my job.
156
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,845
You're the doctor, Adam.
157
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:11,008
Well, I have to be nice
to the healthy ones too.
158
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:13,307
[Laughs]
159
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:18,477
I have a feeling
this cruise is a big mistake.
160
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,023
Oh, no, because of
that woman back there?
161
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:25,187
-No, Adam, because of
all the women back there.
-[Scoffs]
162
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,818
-The one in San Francisco?
-[Scoffs]
163
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:30,365
-The one in Beverly Hills?
-[Scoffs]
164
00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:33,079
-The one in la jolla?
-I don't see her anymore.
165
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:36,040
This cruise just
isn't going to work.
166
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,172
Of course it will.
We're going to have
a wonderful time.
167
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,880
Now look, Emily,
you're just a little tired
from your trip.
168
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,922
Why don't you go
to your cabin,
have a good night's rest
169
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,217
and we'll talk about it
in the morning, okay?
170
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,221
Hey, Emily, hey.
171
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,013
Remember that trip
we took last summer?
172
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,940
Yeah. I was thinking
about that on the plane.
173
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,350
Oh...
174
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,729
You know what?
175
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,729
What?
176
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,903
I think I will stay.
177
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,903
Great!
178
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,874
See you in the morning.
179
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,702
Come by early.
180
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,702
Oh!
181
00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,538
Come on, doc.
Let's get another picture.
182
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,246
No, no, no.
183
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,246
[All clamoring]
184
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,257
Doc, come on.
We need you. One more.
185
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,089
Come on!
186
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,089
[Woman] We need you.
187
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,764
[Gopher] Please?
188
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,764
[Woman] Please?
189
00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:34,469
All right! Oh, wait a minute.
Let's switch places.
190
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,635
Yeah, yeah,
that's a great idea.
191
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,635
Okay.
192
00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:38,774
Come on, switch.
Okay, here we go.
193
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,981
On this picture, I want
everybody to make a face.
194
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,772
Here we go, one, two--
big funny faces!
195
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,776
One two, three!
196
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,776
[Shutter clicks]
197
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,938
[All laughing]
198
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,938
[Ace] That's it, okay.
Let's see.
199
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,147
This time, why don't...
200
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:53,823
Captain stubing.
201
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:53,823
Yes?
202
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,288
I'm Judy McCoy,
Julie's sister.
203
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,909
Well, if you're not,
Julie has a picture
of a very pretty girl
204
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,417
who looks just like you.
205
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,289
Thank you.
206
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,796
And speaking of pretty girls,
you must be Vicki.
207
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,758
Yes.
208
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,758
Julie told me
all about you.
209
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,469
Oh, well, Julie told me
an awful lot about you.
210
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:15,260
Yes, she said that you were
planning on taking this cruise
to spend some time with her.
211
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:18,136
Yeah, and even though
she decided to run off
and get married,
212
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,984
I decided I'd take
the cruise anyway.
213
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,809
-Well, I'm glad you did.
-So, how was the wedding?
214
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:25,975
I'm afraid you're gonna
have to ask Marty and Julie
that question.
215
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,525
They were
the only two there.
216
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:31,777
[Camera whirring]
217
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,202
Ready?
218
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,202
Yeah.
219
00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:40,245
Ah! Good evening.
220
00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:40,245
Good night and goodbye,
gentlemen. Have a nice trip.
221
00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:43,499
Ah, no. Emily,
where are you going?
222
00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:47,172
Tell Adam I've had second
thoughts and I've decided
not to take the cruise.
223
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,673
[Both] Why?
224
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,756
I'm at a different stage
in life than he is.
225
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,967
I'm looking for
just one man,
226
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,474
and that man has to be
looking for just one woman.
227
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,480
Bon voyage.
228
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,480
Emily, wait a minute.
Emily, don't leave.
229
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,521
Look, we can work-- Emily!
230
00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:07,364
Oh, that's good,
that's great.
231
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,360
That's only gonna throw
doc for a loop.
232
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:13,402
Well, pal, who's going
to break the news to him?
233
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:16,527
Well, pal, I'll
tell you what we'll do.
Flip for it, okay?
234
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:17,825
All righty.
235
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:17,825
You call it.
236
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:19,078
Right. Heads.
237
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,160
[Splashes]
238
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:22,615
It's tails. You tell him.
239
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,464
[Ship horn blowing]
240
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,527
[Gopher on pa]
Ladies, welcome aboard
the pacific Princess.
241
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,408
The first stop
on our cruise to Alaska
242
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,035
will be beautiful
Vancouver, British Columbia.
243
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,922
Then on to ketchikan and Juneau,
244
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:09,959
where Engelbert Humperdinck
will fly in to perform for you.
245
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,924
Now, nighty-night
and sweet dreams.
246
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,714
We'll see you in the morning.
247
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:31,113
Hmm... he looks like fun.
248
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,235
Bernice!
249
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,700
Judy!
250
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,445
What are you doing here?
251
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,124
[Whistles] I'm working,
what do you think?
252
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,793
I didn't know you were
the one replacing my sister.
253
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:50,462
Judy, what are you doing here?
I thought you quit work
and got married.
254
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,843
Well, I just got a divorce.
255
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,669
That's even better.
256
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,670
Now, come off it, bernice.
I know you.
257
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,627
You're not as cynical
as you try to appear.
258
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:01,257
Darling, those were
the old days.
259
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:04,305
Now I am more cynical
than I try to appear.
260
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,100
Pardon me. Can you tell me
the temperature of the pool?
261
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,064
What do I look like,
a thermometer?
262
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,975
It's 84 degrees.
263
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,975
Thank you.
264
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,975
You're welcome.
265
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:25,450
Judy,
you haven't changed.
266
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,826
You're being charming.
267
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,253
Sorry.
268
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:35,344
I don't know how we're going
to tell doc that Emily
has already left the ship.
269
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,171
I know, it's been on my mind
all night long.
270
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,836
It's the only thing
I can think about.
271
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,684
Hello.
272
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,684
Hi! Care to join us?
273
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,350
Oh, unfortunately
we're still on duty.
274
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,970
Oh, unfortunately
for all of us.
275
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:50,977
Of course,
we could quit our jobs.
276
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,475
Yes, you could.
277
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,400
Well, back to the darkroom.
278
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,158
See you later.
279
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,158
See you.
280
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:13,075
I can't believe it.
281
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:19,593
[Harry] I can't believe
my wife is playing around
behind my back.
282
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:23,393
[Ralph] I've been living
with your crazy jealousies
for ten years now, Harry.
283
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,599
At your wedding, you thought
she was winking at the minister.
284
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:31,060
Two years ago, you wanted
to shoot Santa claus 'cause
she was sitting on his lap.
285
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:34,363
Your kids
have to eat dry cereal
286
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,268
'cause you won't let
a milkman in the house.
287
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,238
Maybe it's me.
288
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,910
I guess I always felt
I wasn't good enough for her.
289
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,450
You got a point there,
Harry.
290
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:52,956
After all, what could Jane see
in an average guy like me?
291
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,790
Not average, Harry.
292
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,470
Unique. After all, how many
lady plumbers are there?
293
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:17,149
Now, ladies,
let's discuss the red wines,
294
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,151
the nectar of romance.
295
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,403
Look at the color.
296
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:23,614
Deep, warm, red,
297
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,986
the color of passion.
298
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:29,203
Isaac, do you know what kind
of wine Engelbert drinks?
299
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,075
Oh, Engelbert
doesn't drink wine.
He's a pop singer.
300
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:38,128
I always heard that
bartenders are great wits.
301
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,717
It's nice to know
there's an exception.
302
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,774
You know, you've done
a wonderful job of organizing
this cruise, Mrs. Fletcher.
303
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,941
Oh, thank you, captain.
304
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,440
I have been so busy,
I haven't even had a chance
to look around the ship.
305
00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:00,862
Well, then I'll take you
on the captain's tour.
306
00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:05,451
I usually charge a dollar,
but for travel agents,
I give a 50% discount.
307
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,319
Okay. I'll put it
on my expense account.
308
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,577
[Chuckles] That's funny.
309
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,337
Don't tell me Jane's
not up to something.
310
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,842
Do you see her with the captain?
He was all over her.
311
00:15:25,924 --> 00:15:27,514
They were walking
arm in arm.
312
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,053
Yeah, and the arm
is connected to the shoulder,
313
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:32,347
and you know what
the shoulder's connected to?
314
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,570
Hey, guys.
315
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,570
Hi.
316
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,361
Hi, doc.
317
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,361
Have you seen Emily?
318
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,855
Uh, yeah.
Quite a while ago.
319
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:51,657
Where?
320
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:51,657
On the gangway.
321
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:54,912
Gangway? The gangway hasn't
been down since we sailed.
322
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:58,365
That's what ace wants
to talk to you about, doc.
323
00:15:58,457 --> 00:15:59,707
Uh...
324
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,054
-Emily left.
-Left?
325
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,089
Right.
326
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,089
Left. Right. Left...
327
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:10,263
Hold it. Hold it, guys.
What happened?
328
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,853
Doc.
She thought it over
329
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:17,351
and she figured
it just wouldn't work out
between the two of you, so...
330
00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:21,234
Come on, doc. Look,
we're on a beautiful cruise
with beautiful women.
331
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,363
Yeah,
but not the right one.
332
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,030
Ace and I
will stick by you.
333
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,030
Yeah.
334
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:30,910
You're not the right one either.
Guess Alaska's gonna be
a lot colder than I thought.
335
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,706
[Bernice on pa]
Welcome to Vancouver, ladies,
336
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,383
one of Canada's
most sophisticated cities.
337
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:48,972
Explore fabulous Stanley park
or take a gander
338
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:52,969
at the colorful boutiques and
galleries in historic gastown.
339
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,563
And for those of you
who get back in time,
340
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:58,809
dinner will be served
in the coral dining room.
341
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,954
Captain.
342
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,954
Oh, Mrs. Fletcher,
good evening. Over here, please.
343
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,788
Ms. Fletcher.
344
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,788
Hello, doc.
345
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,623
[Vicki] Hi.
346
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,623
Vicki.
347
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,328
The acapulco lounge
has been set up
348
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,298
just the way you wanted
for your pajama party.
349
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,208
-Oh, good.
-Ooh, can I come?
350
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,797
Of course. It'll be fun.
351
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,882
We're giving prizes
for the slinkiest
352
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,587
and the most
outrageous nighties.
353
00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,927
Well, don't start
until I lock up my crew.
354
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,930
Don't tell me
there's nothing going on
with Jane and the captain.
355
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,808
She can't keep
her hands off him.
356
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,765
Don't worry, Harry.
357
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:47,475
She'll get tired of him
just like she did with you.
358
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:49,606
Maybe you think
you belong here--
359
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:52,703
[in high-pitched voice]
Oh! Well, what looks good
tonight?
360
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,660
[High-pitched voice]
Why don't you have
what the captain's having?
361
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,451
[Giggling nervously]
362
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,336
[In French accent]
Bon soir, mademoiselles.
Permit me to recommend
363
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,670
for your dining
pleasure tonight
364
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:15,216
the potage du pommes De terre
and the salmon en croûte.
365
00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:18,312
[In French accent]
And for after dinner pleasure,
366
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:22,638
may I suggest the purser
and the ship's photographer?
367
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:24,846
[Grunting]
368
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:24,846
Ooh la la!
369
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:29,017
That's great. We'd better
eat light, Diane,
and save some room.
370
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:30,977
Yes, we're going
to the pajama party.
371
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,858
So, we'll look
for you guys after that.
372
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,025
Uh-huh. Well, if you're
gonna be wearing pajamas,
373
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,244
i guess we'll be doing
the looking, right?
374
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,579
[All] Good evening.
375
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:46,746
How are you?
376
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:46,746
Hello.
377
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,674
Hey, doc.
378
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,674
Captain.
379
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:52,052
Ace and I have lined up
a couple of dates for tonight
380
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:54,720
and wanted to know
if you wanted to join us.
381
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,050
No, thanks. I appreciate
what you're trying to do,
382
00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:59,345
but I think
I'll turn in early tonight.
383
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:02,719
Sorry, doc. We're not
taking no for an answer.
384
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,845
Well, okay then. Yes.
385
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:08,356
We're not taking yes
for an answer either.
386
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,068
[Groans] Just kidding.
387
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,073
Jane is looking right at me.
388
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,736
She's got a strange look
on her face.
389
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,445
Maybe because what
she's looking at is strange.
390
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,669
Everything all right?
391
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,590
Oh, yes, fine.
392
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:34,169
I, uh, saw someone
I thought looked familiar.
393
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:41,806
Since your sister worked
on the ship, I am putting you
at the captain's table.
394
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,719
Oh, you didn't
have to do that.
395
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,719
Yes, I did.
396
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:46,557
The captain told me to.
Captain, your dinner guest.
397
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,193
Thank you.
398
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,193
Miss McCoy.
399
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,110
Hello.
400
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,110
Thank you very much,
bernice.
401
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:53,148
Aren't you going
to join us?
402
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:53,148
Too busy. Busy, busy, busy.
403
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,493
[Laughs]
404
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:59,279
-Bernice seems to be doing
a very good job.
-Oh, she always does.
405
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:02,624
I've known her since we worked
together as cruise directors.
She's helped me a lot.
406
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,831
Oh, that's right. I forgot.
Julie told me that you were
the one who taught her.
407
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,423
Too bad you couldn't have
taught bernice a few things.
408
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:12,668
Bernice obviously knows her job
or else she wouldn't have lasted
as long as she has.
409
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,633
That's right,
and I think you'll like her
when you get to know her.
410
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:18,344
Yeah, like getting
to know Dracula.
411
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:21,795
By the time you've established
a good relationship,
you don't have any blood left.
412
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:29,353
[Gopher on pa]
We are now leaving Vancouver.
Our next stop, ketchikan.
413
00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:32,686
Don't get excited, ladies.
I said "ketchikan,"
not "catch-a-man."
414
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:37,493
But there's still time
to catch a date with Engelbert.
Keep those letters coming.
415
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:41,819
[Vicki on pa] Ladies,
don't forget the pajama party
in the acapulco lounge tonight.
416
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,987
Prizes will be awarded
for looking your bedtime best,
417
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,697
and since no men will be there,
418
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,287
prizes will also be awarded
419
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,372
for looking your bedtime worst.
420
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,288
[Applause]
421
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,338
How about these outfits,
ladies, huh?
422
00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:58,972
[Cheering]
423
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,679
[Playful booing]
424
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,850
Oh, boo, boo, boo yourself!
And number three?
425
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,561
Right.
426
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,561
Are you married?
427
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,941
Yes.
428
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,941
Let me ask you,
429
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:12,898
what did your husband say
the first time he saw you
in this nightie?
430
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:16,730
[Laughs]
"What are you wearing that for?
I thought we were going to bed."
431
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,317
[All laughing]
432
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:34,838
What are we doing here, Harry?
433
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:34,838
I gotta keep an eye
on Jane.
434
00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:37,208
Don't worry,
nobody's gonna spot us.
435
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:48,308
You're a shoo-in for
the most outrageous
"going to bed" prize.
436
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:55,145
My apologies.
You'd come in second.
437
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:02,244
I may be crazy,
but there's something
about that woman I like.
438
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,740
Yeah, I know what you mean.
You marry a woman like that,
439
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:07,203
you never have to worry about
anybody trying to steal her.
440
00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:09,374
Let's have a drink.
441
00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:09,374
Let's have two.
442
00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:12,957
Okay, thanks.
443
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,080
The radio room
has your call through.
444
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,997
Now, when you speak
to Emily,
445
00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:19,915
I want you to lay on real thick
how miserable doc is, all right?
446
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:23,085
Me? You have a better
phone voice than I do.
447
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,085
Yeah, but you're
better looking than I am.
448
00:22:31,808 --> 00:22:33,478
Hi, Emily. It's gopher.
449
00:22:34,352 --> 00:22:35,942
Doc's friend.
450
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:39,071
[Upbeat music
playing on speakers]
451
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:39,071
Oh, hi. That gopher.
452
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,402
[Music stops]
453
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:42,605
How are you?
454
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:42,605
Fine.
455
00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,324
Emily, listen,
I wanna talk to you
456
00:22:44,404 --> 00:22:46,114
about something
very serious.
457
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,278
Doc is really
down in the dumps.
458
00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:51,786
[Chuckles]
Well, if he is, there must be
a woman down there with him.
459
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,170
No, no, this is important.
Doc is really miserable.
460
00:22:55,248 --> 00:22:57,628
I think maybe the best thing
for you to do
461
00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:02,169
would be to fly up to Alaska,
meet the ship and surprise doc.
462
00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:04,755
-I would, except for one thing.
-What's that?
463
00:23:04,841 --> 00:23:06,131
Doc.
464
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:16,650
Well, what did she say?
465
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:20,728
Well, let me put it this way.
You think it's too late
to reverse the charges?
466
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,194
You are, uh, married?
467
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,194
Yes.
468
00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:26,147
Now, let me ask you this.
469
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,658
Has your husband ever seen you
in this outfit at bedtime?
470
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:33,451
[Sighs] Only when I stand
in front of the television set.
471
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:39,172
You're a lucky lady.
472
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:41,171
Thank you.
473
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:45,343
Jane looks really great
in those pajamas,
doesn't she, Harry?
474
00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:49,138
Yeah. I wonder where
they're going to end up.
475
00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:55,641
See, Diane. We can
have fun without men.
476
00:23:56,309 --> 00:23:57,519
You're right.
477
00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:03,527
Let's go find gopher and ace
and tell them what
a great time we're having.
478
00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:09,032
Now, come on, let's hear it
for all the ladies.
479
00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:13,544
You've all been terrific sports.
480
00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:15,538
And you're gonna
get your prizes later.
481
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:17,210
But for now,
I think you'd better
482
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,039
put something on
before you get pneumonia.
483
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,350
Jane, this "ladies only" cruise
is a tremendous idea.
484
00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:38,733
Everybody seems
to be having a great time.
485
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:40,730
Hmm.
486
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:40,730
Aren't you?
487
00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:42,896
I was...
488
00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:45,355
Maybe you miss
your husband.
489
00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:48,948
Well, when you've been
married for a while,
490
00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:52,069
it seems your husband is
with you wherever you go.
491
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,027
Oh, you mean in your heart.
492
00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:55,947
No. In my bathrobe.
493
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,330
Come on.
494
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:04,090
Okay,
let's have some dancing!
495
00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:06,249
How are we gonna
dance with no men?
496
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,468
Buy yourself
a pair of tap shoes.
497
00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:09,718
Think not.
498
00:25:09,799 --> 00:25:11,589
You don't wanna dance?
Okay.
499
00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:14,426
Say, bernice,
how about a conga line?
500
00:25:14,512 --> 00:25:18,232
A conga line?
You've got to be kidding.
501
00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:21,768
Okay, everybody!
I've got a great idea.
502
00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:25,943
We are going
to have a conga!
503
00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:25,943
[Conga music playing]
504
00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:29,444
Okay, Polly Mae.
Up, up, up, up! Let's go.
505
00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:31,777
Shake your fannies off, girls.
506
00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:33,783
One, two, three.
507
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,953
That's it.
508
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,953
[Laughter]
509
00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:42,365
That's it. Move that.
Move that Fanny. Let's go.
510
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:45,792
Good!
511
00:25:48,713 --> 00:25:52,343
Come on. Swing that hip.
All right.
512
00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:55,925
Swing that hip,
swing that hip, swing that hip.
513
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,649
[Ace and women laughing]
514
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:49,690
And so anyway,
the little baby eskimo says,
515
00:26:49,774 --> 00:26:53,534
"mommy, are you sure
I'm not adopted? I'm freezing!"
516
00:26:56,239 --> 00:26:58,739
Hey, doc, what's the matter?
Don't you get that?
517
00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:00,155
Yeah, I got it, it's funny.
518
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,696
You'll have to excuse doc.
519
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:04,247
He's usually the life
of the party,
520
00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:06,501
but tonight,
he's a little depressed.
521
00:27:06,583 --> 00:27:07,883
His girlfriend left him.
522
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:10,549
You poor baby.
523
00:27:10,628 --> 00:27:12,668
Well, I wouldn't
worry about it quite that much.
524
00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:14,046
Doc's probably gonna be fine.
525
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,552
Yeah.
526
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,552
Well, of course he will.
527
00:27:16,634 --> 00:27:19,684
All he needs is a shoulder to
cry on and a sympathetic ear.
528
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:22,183
Oh, you're very kind.
529
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:22,183
Come on.
530
00:27:22,265 --> 00:27:24,885
Let's go for a walk,
and you can tell me
all about it.
531
00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:29,056
Wait a minute, wait a minute!
What about me? My girlfriend
just left me too.
532
00:27:29,147 --> 00:27:31,067
What girlfriend? When?
533
00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:33,320
Just now.
534
00:27:44,829 --> 00:27:45,909
Excuse me.
535
00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:56,378
Boy, Isaac,
you should've seen
some of those ladies.
536
00:27:56,466 --> 00:27:59,926
If you had, you'd never
get married. Hi, gopher.
537
00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:02,971
Hey, goph, having
a pretty good night, huh?
538
00:28:03,056 --> 00:28:05,926
Well, I did,
but I'm gonna turn in.
Good night.
539
00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:08,437
Good night.
540
00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:08,437
It hasn't been
a good night for me.
541
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,110
Oh, Judy, thanks again
for being so nice
to the passengers.
542
00:28:11,189 --> 00:28:14,939
-Sure!
-Yeah, particularly since
bernice insulted half of them.
543
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:17,446
Yeah, I guess she's gonna
insult the other half tomorrow.
544
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,989
Boy, if she goes ashore
in Alaska, by the time we sail,
545
00:28:20,073 --> 00:28:22,953
we'll be back
to 49 states.
546
00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:26,664
-I'm gonna tell the captain.
-Hey, no, no, no. Just sit.
547
00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:30,001
Why don't you guys
give her a chance?
548
00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,133
You know, maybe get to
know her a little better?
549
00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:34,250
[Stubing]
Well, well, well.
550
00:28:34,337 --> 00:28:36,967
I thought this was
the purser's lobby,
not the crew lounge.
551
00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:38,968
Sorry, sir.
552
00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:38,968
If you decide
to make a night of it,
553
00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:40,720
I'll send some pillows
and blankets.
554
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:45,601
I know why you're
all huddled together.
555
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:47,642
I've seen this look before.
556
00:28:47,725 --> 00:28:51,645
It's the "how are we going
to get rid of bernice?" Look.
557
00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:54,229
Now, bernice...
558
00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:54,229
Cool it, smiles.
559
00:28:55,233 --> 00:28:57,403
Do you know what
this look is?
560
00:28:57,485 --> 00:29:02,565
It's my "you don't have
a chance in hell" look.
561
00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:17,505
[Stubing on pa]
Ladies, we are now traveling
562
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:19,919
through Alaska's
majestic inland passage
563
00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:21,548
on the way to ketchikan.
564
00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:24,724
Keep a sharp lookout
for Indian villages,
565
00:29:24,804 --> 00:29:28,564
unspoiled inlets
and virgin timber
along the way.
566
00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:32,354
[Geese squawking]
567
00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:05,139
I hate drinking beer
out of a coffee cup.
568
00:30:11,935 --> 00:30:13,765
Looking for
the beauty parlor?
569
00:30:13,853 --> 00:30:15,403
No.
570
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:16,730
Think about it.
571
00:30:19,692 --> 00:30:22,782
Hey! That lady's got
a great sense of humor,
Harry.
572
00:30:22,862 --> 00:30:25,532
You know, I've really
got eyes for her.
573
00:30:25,615 --> 00:30:27,575
You ought to get
your eyes examined.
574
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,249
Boy, what a beautiful sight!
575
00:30:30,328 --> 00:30:34,958
Yeah, beautiful.
She really turns me on.
576
00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:43,173
Gopher,
it's your own fault Bonnie
ran off with doc last night.
577
00:30:43,258 --> 00:30:45,758
You were the one that
invited him along.
578
00:30:45,843 --> 00:30:48,353
Hi, guys.
579
00:30:45,843 --> 00:30:48,353
Oh, hi, Isaac.
580
00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:51,274
Hey, goph,
what's the matter?
581
00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:52,769
I don't want
to discuss it.
582
00:30:53,893 --> 00:30:58,313
Hey, goph, who's been
your best friend
all these years?
583
00:30:58,398 --> 00:31:01,358
Who's the one person
who's been through all
the rough times with you?
584
00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:06,157
Who's the one guy you know
you can always depend upon?
585
00:31:07,323 --> 00:31:10,293
Okay, I'm mad at doc.
He stole my girl.
586
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:12,078
Leave me out of it.
587
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:20,000
Hi, handsome.
588
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:20,000
Hi, Diane.
589
00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:24,965
What was that for.
590
00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:24,965
Yeah, what was that for?
591
00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:27,259
Well, I just kept thinking
about you all night,
592
00:31:27,343 --> 00:31:31,143
how generous you were
sacrificing yourself
for your friend, doc.
593
00:31:31,222 --> 00:31:33,732
[Gopher] Oh, well, Diane,
594
00:31:33,808 --> 00:31:38,098
i just did what any other
incredibly thoughtful,
sensitive guy would do.
595
00:31:38,187 --> 00:31:41,437
Yeah, I would have done
the same thing myself.
596
00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:47,988
You know, if there's
one thing I admire in a man,
it's generosity.
597
00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:50,162
Well, in the words
of a great patriot,
598
00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:53,371
"I regret that I have
but one woman to give
to my buddy."
599
00:31:53,453 --> 00:31:56,123
Gopher, you are quite a man.
600
00:31:58,791 --> 00:32:00,791
Diane, when we get
to ketchikan,
601
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:02,877
we are going to have
the time of our lives.
602
00:32:02,962 --> 00:32:07,432
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
Just the three of us.
603
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,160
-Hello, ladies.
-Hello...
604
00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:43,207
Oh, merrill!
605
00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:47,054
-Ah, good afternoon,
Jane. Hi.
-Hi.
606
00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:49,931
Merrill, I know your time
must be in great demand,
607
00:32:50,009 --> 00:32:54,389
but I wish you'd join me
for a drink tonight
and some conversation.
608
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:56,352
-It would be my pleasure.
-Thank you.
609
00:32:56,432 --> 00:32:58,892
You know, I'd love to show you
ketchikan after we dock.
610
00:32:58,976 --> 00:33:02,226
Terrific. I'd like that.
611
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:04,983
-Good! Enjoy your meal.
-I will.
612
00:33:12,323 --> 00:33:14,913
Well, I guess
I won't be needing
a nap today.
613
00:33:14,992 --> 00:33:17,412
I expect to be in bed
very early tonight.
614
00:33:21,207 --> 00:33:24,497
Are you lucky, Harry!
She didn't even know you.
615
00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,379
[Wheezing laugh]
616
00:33:37,348 --> 00:33:41,518
[Stubing on pa]
Ladies, welcome to ketchikan,
Alaska's southernmost city.
617
00:33:41,602 --> 00:33:44,902
This quaint, boardwalk town,
built on Poles,
618
00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:47,821
is famous as
the "salmon capital
of the world."
619
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:51,780
Don't miss the picturesque
waterfront section
of famous totem park,
620
00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:55,123
which boasts the world's largest
collection of totem Poles.
621
00:33:55,199 --> 00:33:57,159
Have a wonderful day.
622
00:34:14,761 --> 00:34:19,351
Well, if it isn't my "buddy"
who's stealing Diane
away from me.
623
00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:21,482
-Where is she?
-Oh, she'll be right back.
624
00:34:21,559 --> 00:34:25,979
She just sashayed up
to her cabin to touch up
her lipstick.
625
00:34:26,063 --> 00:34:29,483
-Gopher, is there a rule
against punching a purser?
-Yes.
626
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,487
-There is?
-I just made it up.
627
00:34:32,236 --> 00:34:33,316
Emily!
628
00:34:33,404 --> 00:34:36,374
-Gopher, ace.
-Emily.
629
00:34:36,449 --> 00:34:39,829
Thanks for the call.
You reached out
and touched someone.
630
00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:43,041
-You know, I thought you said
you weren't coming.
-I did.
631
00:34:43,122 --> 00:34:44,832
But after thinking about it,
632
00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:47,496
I realized I wasn't
being fair to Adam.
633
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:50,505
Anyway, I always wanted
to see Alaska.
634
00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:52,878
Great. Well, I'll just
go tell doc you're here then.
635
00:34:52,965 --> 00:34:57,005
-No, I'd rather surprise him.
-Okay.
636
00:34:57,094 --> 00:35:00,394
Gopher, I just saw Bonnie go
into doc's cabin after lunch.
637
00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:02,103
-We've gotta stop Emily now.
-Right.
638
00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:03,733
-Right. What?
-Wait!
639
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:06,230
-You stop her.
I'll wait here for Diane.
-Right.
640
00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:15,856
Oh, Bonnie, thank you
for helping me through
this rough time.
641
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:19,907
-You're a very
understanding woman.
-I'll be back.
642
00:35:19,992 --> 00:35:24,412
My prescription calls
for the same medication
every four hours.
643
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,257
[Stubing]
I'm sure you're
going to enjoy ketchikan.
644
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:45,022
Merrill. I can't think of
a better man to show me around.
645
00:35:45,101 --> 00:35:48,601
Why, thank you. But first,
there's a wonderful little place
I want to take you to.
646
00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:51,568
-Oh?
-To pick up a map.
I've only been here twice.
647
00:35:57,446 --> 00:35:59,696
After he picks up a map,
he's probably going to show her
648
00:35:59,782 --> 00:36:01,992
a breathtaking view of a motel.
649
00:36:02,076 --> 00:36:04,746
-Come on, let's follow them.
-No way, Harry.
650
00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:09,959
It's one thing running around
the ship dressed like this.
In town, you can get arrested.
651
00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:15,801
-[Gopher] Emily!
-[Ace] Emily!
652
00:36:15,882 --> 00:36:19,092
You know what? I just remembered
that doc is not in his cabin.
653
00:36:19,176 --> 00:36:21,546
-He's-- he's, uh...
-He's on the bridge.
654
00:36:21,637 --> 00:36:24,557
-Bridge.
-Yeah, I just saw him
up there all by himself
655
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,600
and I have never
seen him so sad.
656
00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:29,774
Well, I'll wipe that sad look
off his face in no time.
657
00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:32,064
Great, come on.
658
00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:34,938
No, listen, as long as we're
this close to his cabin,
let's check.
659
00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:38,106
-Oh... [chuckles nervously]
-I hope he's there.
660
00:36:38,195 --> 00:36:40,775
I can't wait to see the look
on his face when he sees me.
661
00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:42,615
Neither can we.
662
00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:47,709
I was hoping
you'd come back, Bonnie--
663
00:36:48,873 --> 00:36:52,253
-Bonnie Emily!
-Bonnie Emily?
664
00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:56,295
Sure, my Bonnie flew
over the ocean to see me!
665
00:36:57,882 --> 00:37:00,132
And coming in
for a happy landing.
666
00:37:01,344 --> 00:37:02,764
[Mouths] What?
667
00:37:57,775 --> 00:38:01,355
[Gopher on pa]
Ladies, you can still enjoy
the beautiful Alaskan scenery
668
00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:04,025
because this time of year,
it stays light
well into the evening.
669
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,525
And remember,
when we get to Juneau,
670
00:38:06,617 --> 00:38:09,157
Engelbert Humperdinck
will be joining us
to light up your night.
671
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:11,365
You still have time
to win that date.
672
00:38:17,628 --> 00:38:19,588
Hard to believe
it's 10:00 at night.
673
00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:25,546
Bernice, you look
as fresh and beautiful
as you did this morning.
674
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:28,057
Do I know you?
675
00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:31,979
Ralph. Ralph dooley.
Chief engineer.
676
00:38:32,768 --> 00:38:34,848
Engineer, huh?
677
00:38:34,937 --> 00:38:38,107
So how come you're wearing
a medical insignia?
678
00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:42,154
Sick of engineering.
679
00:38:44,697 --> 00:38:49,077
Oh, wow, it's nice to see
that somebody around here
has a sense of humor.
680
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,410
Mm-hmm. Um...
681
00:38:51,495 --> 00:38:54,865
Do you believe in
love at first sight?
682
00:38:54,957 --> 00:38:57,417
Not with the sight
that I'm looking at.
683
00:39:10,765 --> 00:39:12,175
Stay in touch.
684
00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:25,404
[Stubing on pa] Ladies,
we are continuing our journey
685
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,778
through Alaska's
extraordinary inland waterway,
686
00:39:27,865 --> 00:39:32,655
en route to
our next destination:
Magnificent glacier bay.
687
00:39:32,745 --> 00:39:36,665
Don't miss the breathtaking
fjords, the snow-capped peaks
688
00:39:36,749 --> 00:39:40,209
and the inspiring sight
of a soaring eagle.
689
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:48,468
Okay, jumping rope
is very good for your legs,
690
00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:50,812
your lungs, your heart...
691
00:39:56,685 --> 00:39:59,185
-And showing off.
-[Women laugh]
692
00:40:00,314 --> 00:40:03,904
Okay, that's all for today,
ladies. Thank you very much.
693
00:40:11,325 --> 00:40:13,825
Let me get you a drink.
What would you like, darling?
694
00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:17,161
Oh, anything. Anything
but you and me on the rocks.
695
00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,578
Drink up.
696
00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:39,653
Hi, doc.
Where have you been hiding?
697
00:40:39,728 --> 00:40:42,938
It's time to resume
your heart mending
treatments.
698
00:40:43,023 --> 00:40:45,693
Bonnie, you and I have to
have a little talk.
699
00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:47,986
Action speaks
louder than words.
700
00:40:51,157 --> 00:40:54,287
You know, Isaac, I'm glad
I'm back on the cruise.
701
00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:56,078
I was wrong
not to trust Adam.
702
00:40:56,162 --> 00:40:58,872
Well, if you can't trust
your doctor, who can you trust?
703
00:40:58,956 --> 00:41:00,206
Here you go.
704
00:41:04,628 --> 00:41:07,208
Well, it's nice to have
a doctor always on call.
705
00:41:10,509 --> 00:41:13,139
I'll be back in four hours
for your next treatment.
706
00:41:15,472 --> 00:41:17,562
I cannot leave you alone
for a minute.
707
00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:19,231
-Emily--
-you're hopeless!
708
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:21,690
-It's not what you think.
-I think it's lipstick.
709
00:41:22,646 --> 00:41:24,226
Let's see if it's waterproof.
710
00:41:30,404 --> 00:41:32,534
Oh, Emily...
711
00:41:59,183 --> 00:42:04,363
Oh, that was so nice of you
to arrange for me to call home.
I was so upset.
712
00:42:04,438 --> 00:42:08,478
I know. You were so worried
about your dog, I thought
it was kind of an emergency.
713
00:42:08,567 --> 00:42:12,947
Well, that cruise director
wouldn't pay any attention
to me. She was so rude.
714
00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:16,080
Do you know, I think I'm going
to report her to the captain.
715
00:42:16,158 --> 00:42:20,998
No, don't do that.
She's not really rude.
She has migraines.
716
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:25,080
She has migraines too.
So does my dachshund.
717
00:42:25,167 --> 00:42:28,497
But I'd love to tell him
how sweet you were to me.
What is your name?
718
00:42:28,587 --> 00:42:30,127
-My name?
-Mm-hmm.
719
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:34,888
Bernice.
I'm a cruise director too.
720
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:38,219
So, if you do talk to
the captain, you tell him
bernice helped you.
721
00:42:38,305 --> 00:42:41,345
I'm certainly gonna do that.
And thank you so much again.
722
00:42:41,433 --> 00:42:43,483
-You're welcome.
-Bye-bye.
723
00:43:01,787 --> 00:43:05,207
[Chuckles] This has been
a marvelous day.
724
00:43:05,291 --> 00:43:08,841
They've all been marvelous days,
merrill, since I met you.
725
00:43:08,919 --> 00:43:12,719
The lunches in town,
the sightseeing tours
of the city.
726
00:43:12,798 --> 00:43:16,838
And here we are,
still together.
727
00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:21,677
-I hope I haven't tired you out.
-Oh, on the contrary, my dear.
728
00:43:21,765 --> 00:43:25,435
I am filled
with wild abandon tonight.
729
00:43:28,314 --> 00:43:32,324
-What did she say?
-She said she feels
wild and abandoned.
730
00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:40,989
You're
a very attractive man,
merrill.
731
00:43:42,119 --> 00:43:45,999
Very... desirable.
732
00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:50,458
Why, uh, thank you.
Thank you very much, Jane.
733
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,340
You're a nice person
yourself.
734
00:43:53,422 --> 00:43:54,882
What did they say?
735
00:43:54,965 --> 00:43:58,085
She said he's attractive
and desirable.
736
00:43:58,177 --> 00:44:00,387
He likes her too.
737
00:44:00,471 --> 00:44:03,351
-That's it.
-Wait. She's getting
to the good part.
738
00:44:04,641 --> 00:44:07,271
Mrs. Fletcher,
you're a married woman.
739
00:44:07,353 --> 00:44:10,363
[Jane] Mm, merrill,
740
00:44:10,439 --> 00:44:15,069
where I come from, people
never lock their doors,
741
00:44:15,152 --> 00:44:16,572
not even at night.
742
00:44:16,653 --> 00:44:18,573
-She said...
-That, I heard.
743
00:44:18,655 --> 00:44:22,865
Oh, my. It's later than
I thought. I have to get
to my bridge.
744
00:44:22,951 --> 00:44:27,791
Oh, I love a man
who's in control.
I'll walk with you.
745
00:44:34,546 --> 00:44:36,546
-That dirty...
-Take it easy.
746
00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:39,222
What can they do on the bridge?
It's pitch dark up there.
747
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:53,773
[Stubing on pa] Ladies,
we are now cruising through
Alaska's famous glacier bay,
748
00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,397
one of the most spectacular
sights in the world.
749
00:44:56,485 --> 00:44:59,275
On both sides of the bay
are the St. Elias mountains
750
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:03,083
from which mammoth glaciers
20 stories high
751
00:45:03,158 --> 00:45:06,538
shed sheets of ice
into deep frigid fjords.
752
00:45:20,592 --> 00:45:23,472
You know, bernice,
the whole crew thinks
you don't like them.
753
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,814
Especially Vicki.
She's very upset.
754
00:45:25,889 --> 00:45:28,679
Vicki, the captain's brat?
Little miss sweet? I like her.
755
00:45:28,767 --> 00:45:33,017
[Scoffs] If you like somebody,
why don't you tell them?
756
00:45:33,814 --> 00:45:36,784
If you tell somebody
that you like them,
757
00:45:36,859 --> 00:45:39,649
then every single day
for the rest of your life,
758
00:45:39,736 --> 00:45:42,816
you have to get up
and tell him or her again.
759
00:45:42,906 --> 00:45:44,866
It's exhausting.
760
00:45:44,950 --> 00:45:48,000
-Well, why don't you
at least try to be nice?
-Okay, I'll try.
761
00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:52,168
Excuse me, hi. Do you know
how to get to the fiesta deck?
762
00:45:52,249 --> 00:45:55,589
Yes, I do.
But thanks for asking.
763
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:01,220
You can take that passageway
to your left, take the elevator
down one deck.
764
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:05,550
Thank you so much.
You know, you could take
a few lessons from her.
765
00:46:09,933 --> 00:46:13,853
You did it again.
Old Judy good deed.
766
00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:15,608
I did what again?
767
00:46:15,689 --> 00:46:18,149
You know, I'm on to you. Mm-hmm.
768
00:46:18,233 --> 00:46:21,153
You are after my job.
769
00:46:21,236 --> 00:46:23,196
Bernice, that is
absolutely ridiculous.
770
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,370
I have a job of my own
to go home to.
771
00:46:25,449 --> 00:46:27,579
-Oh, really?
-Yeah.
772
00:46:27,659 --> 00:46:29,539
Well, I'll tell you,
miss big smile,
773
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,410
just to make sure that
this is no double cross,
774
00:46:32,498 --> 00:46:36,958
I am going to the captain
and get you off my back.
775
00:46:37,669 --> 00:46:39,049
Bernice...
776
00:46:41,590 --> 00:46:43,180
The bridge is that way.
777
00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:54,523
Judy, the next time you smile,
I hope your teeth explode.
778
00:47:07,157 --> 00:47:08,577
Captain stubing!
779
00:47:08,659 --> 00:47:10,239
-Bernice, come in.
-Sir...
780
00:47:10,327 --> 00:47:12,617
Will you take care
of this for me, please?
781
00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:18,585
Sir, I'd like
to talk to you.
782
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:21,339
Oh, that reminds me.
I've been meaning
to talk to you.
783
00:47:21,421 --> 00:47:24,931
I had a phone call from
one of our passengers,
a Mrs. Carter.
784
00:47:25,008 --> 00:47:28,388
She was very grateful that
you helped her with her dog.
785
00:47:28,470 --> 00:47:30,310
-Dog?
-Yes, her sick dog.
786
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:33,518
Remember? You placed a call
to her home?
787
00:47:35,310 --> 00:47:38,230
Oh, that dog. [Laughs]
788
00:47:38,313 --> 00:47:41,073
Well, when you've called
as many dogs as I have,
789
00:47:41,149 --> 00:47:43,399
all the barks and howls
begin to sound the same.
790
00:47:43,485 --> 00:47:46,655
[Chuckles] Well, anyway,
she was very appreciative.
791
00:47:46,738 --> 00:47:49,238
So, uh, what do you want
to talk to me about?
792
00:47:49,324 --> 00:47:50,534
Talk to you about?
793
00:47:51,368 --> 00:47:56,078
Oh, uh, I was wondering,
when we get back,
794
00:47:56,164 --> 00:48:00,464
if I could have a day off
to go see the lady's dog.
795
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:06,344
I like to always put
a face to the voice
at the other end of the line.
796
00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:08,390
[Barks]
797
00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:21,649
[Gopher on pa]
Two hundred years ago,
when captain Vancouver
798
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:24,442
first charted these waters,
this bay didn't exist.
799
00:48:24,526 --> 00:48:27,776
Since that time,
the ice front has retreated
more than 50 miles
800
00:48:27,863 --> 00:48:30,663
and tall spruce and hemlock
forests have taken root.
801
00:48:30,741 --> 00:48:33,791
Breathe that crisp fresh air.
Feast your eyes.
802
00:48:33,869 --> 00:48:36,249
It looks like the world
when it was new.
803
00:48:43,503 --> 00:48:44,673
[Doc] Emily.
804
00:48:46,089 --> 00:48:48,679
Look, Adam,
there's nothing to talk about.
805
00:48:50,135 --> 00:48:52,965
I really don't want
to give up on us, Emily.
806
00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:55,265
We have good times
together, don't we?
807
00:48:56,058 --> 00:48:58,688
-We did.
-We still can.
808
00:48:58,769 --> 00:49:01,269
Let's face it,
relationships are 50-50.
809
00:49:01,355 --> 00:49:03,725
You wouldn't be here
if you didn't want to be.
810
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:07,690
Of course I'm here
because I want to be.
811
00:49:10,447 --> 00:49:13,077
But I'm not sure
this relationship is 50-50.
812
00:49:17,996 --> 00:49:20,706
Can't we go someplace
to discuss this?
813
00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:24,711
Sure, we can discuss it,
uh... in my cabin.
814
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:26,875
-Adam...
-Just discuss.
815
00:49:29,341 --> 00:49:31,891
All right. Just discuss.
816
00:49:41,269 --> 00:49:43,899
I sure hope doc and Emily
have worked things out.
817
00:49:43,980 --> 00:49:46,070
Doc? Emily? I told you.
I'm staying out of this.
818
00:49:46,149 --> 00:49:48,899
Hey, it's good to see
you two together again.
819
00:49:48,985 --> 00:49:50,735
Well, not quite together.
820
00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:54,371
I'm sure everything's
going to work out just fine.
821
00:49:55,158 --> 00:49:57,448
-Surprise!
-Oh, Emily...
822
00:49:57,536 --> 00:49:59,246
-You like this surprise?
-No!
823
00:49:59,329 --> 00:50:01,419
I've got a better one!
824
00:50:01,498 --> 00:50:05,418
You mean I fell for
that old "my girlfriend
left me" routine?
825
00:50:05,502 --> 00:50:07,802
Ow! What did you do that for?
826
00:50:07,879 --> 00:50:10,009
You're the one that
told me she left him.
827
00:50:11,216 --> 00:50:13,426
Ow! What was that for?
828
00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:15,600
For having
such crummy friends!
829
00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:21,599
I'm really glad
I stayed out of this.
830
00:50:32,529 --> 00:50:35,949
You know, it's good to have
a McCoy on the ship again,
831
00:50:36,032 --> 00:50:38,792
even though she's not
our cruise director.
832
00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:41,499
Well, you've got
a very good replacement
in bernice.
833
00:50:41,580 --> 00:50:47,960
Yes. In fact, a passenger
told me that bernice helped her
call home about a dog.
834
00:50:48,044 --> 00:50:50,264
Now wasn't that
a sweet thing
for her to do?
835
00:50:50,338 --> 00:50:54,128
Yes. But obviously,
the passenger was confused.
836
00:50:54,217 --> 00:50:58,467
Because when I spoke
to her a second time
and she described bernice,
837
00:50:58,555 --> 00:51:01,805
bernice sounded like
the image of you.
838
00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:06,482
Well, when we worked together,
people couldn't tell us apart.
839
00:51:07,731 --> 00:51:11,651
And I'm sure she would have
helped if she'd had the chance.
840
00:51:11,735 --> 00:51:14,945
I am not saying another word
without my attorney.
841
00:51:15,572 --> 00:51:17,822
Or somebody's attorney.
842
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:21,328
If we could just sit
those three women down
for two seconds,
843
00:51:21,411 --> 00:51:24,161
-i know we could straighten
this whole thing out.
-Doc, hold it.
844
00:51:24,247 --> 00:51:26,627
First of all,
they won't answer
their door.
845
00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:28,668
Second of all,
they won't even
answer the phone.
846
00:51:28,752 --> 00:51:31,212
Is kidnapping
still a federal offense?
847
00:51:31,296 --> 00:51:33,506
Hey, guys...
848
00:51:33,590 --> 00:51:37,720
-It was a pretty good party.
-Too good. I could sure use
a steam.
849
00:51:39,262 --> 00:51:41,972
Anybody feel like
sweating off a few pounds?
850
00:51:58,114 --> 00:52:00,244
-Oh, captain...
-Mrs. Fletcher.
851
00:52:00,325 --> 00:52:03,035
I'd like to stop,
but duty calls. Excuse me.
852
00:52:03,119 --> 00:52:04,869
Captain, please.
853
00:52:06,748 --> 00:52:08,748
I owe you an apology
from the other night.
854
00:52:10,126 --> 00:52:13,206
I was way out of line,
but there is an explanation.
855
00:52:13,296 --> 00:52:15,296
None needed, I'm sure.
856
00:52:17,592 --> 00:52:20,852
Believe me,
it won't happen again.
857
00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:25,229
Yes, well, uh,
I must be going...
858
00:52:25,308 --> 00:52:27,348
Then I'll see you tonight,
darling.
859
00:52:39,489 --> 00:52:44,619
It's none of my business, dear,
but I hope you're not getting
involved with captain stubing.
860
00:52:44,703 --> 00:52:46,373
I hear he's a very big chaser.
861
00:52:46,454 --> 00:52:48,374
He's after every woman
on the ship.
862
00:52:49,207 --> 00:52:52,837
Who cares?
As long as I'm one of them.
863
00:52:52,919 --> 00:52:55,259
That's shameless!
Shameless!
864
00:52:55,338 --> 00:53:01,088
I know! While I'm in Alaska
keeping warm with the captain,
865
00:53:01,177 --> 00:53:05,057
my dumb husband is at home
eating frozen dinners.
866
00:53:09,728 --> 00:53:12,188
-Can you keep a secret?
-Of course.
867
00:53:13,398 --> 00:53:15,568
The captain came
to my cabin last night.
868
00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:20,071
[Spluttering] What happened?
869
00:53:20,155 --> 00:53:22,815
I'd love to fill you in
on all the lurid details,
870
00:53:22,908 --> 00:53:25,658
but I'm on my way
to the steam bath.
See you later.
871
00:53:25,744 --> 00:53:27,504
Ta-ta.
872
00:53:29,748 --> 00:53:30,828
Ow.
873
00:54:08,411 --> 00:54:10,291
Emily,
I've gotta talk to you.
874
00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:12,672
Adam,
what are you doing in here?
875
00:54:12,749 --> 00:54:16,289
You've got to believe me.
I'm not a womanizer.
876
00:54:16,378 --> 00:54:19,628
[Scoffs] You would say that
to me, in here?
877
00:54:21,591 --> 00:54:24,011
[Gopher]
Bonnie, Bonnie, listen...
878
00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:28,354
[Gasps] I knew you were weird,
but this is depraved.
879
00:54:30,308 --> 00:54:34,478
-Uh, Diane...
-What do you want?
880
00:54:36,147 --> 00:54:38,817
I just came in
for a steam.
881
00:54:49,786 --> 00:54:51,956
-Oh, hi!
-Hi.
882
00:54:52,622 --> 00:54:55,832
So, tell me, dear,
883
00:54:55,917 --> 00:54:57,707
what went on with you
and the captain?
884
00:54:57,794 --> 00:55:01,764
Oh! It was beyond
my expectations.
885
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:03,680
He is a wonderful lover!
886
00:55:03,758 --> 00:55:09,218
First, he kissed me gently
on the neck and ear lobes...
887
00:55:09,305 --> 00:55:11,425
Kissed your neck and ear lobes?
888
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,560
And then he took me in his arms
889
00:55:15,645 --> 00:55:21,855
and gave me
a deep, full kiss.
890
00:55:21,943 --> 00:55:25,363
A big, full, deep kiss?
891
00:55:26,489 --> 00:55:28,409
I'll kill him! I'll kill him!
892
00:55:28,491 --> 00:55:32,121
-Harry!
-Yeah, Harry.
Fooled you, didn't I?
893
00:55:32,203 --> 00:55:34,793
-You remember Ralph.
-Check, please.
894
00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:37,673
There's a man
in the steam room!
895
00:55:37,751 --> 00:55:40,711
-[In high-pitched voice]
A man?
-[Gasping] Where?
896
00:55:40,795 --> 00:55:43,755
-It's not me!
-Let's get 'em, girls!
897
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:45,840
[All clamoring]
898
00:55:53,683 --> 00:55:56,943
You're out of uniform,
officer. Ralph!
899
00:55:57,020 --> 00:55:58,690
Get back in here!
900
00:56:06,362 --> 00:56:09,452
I know
that you're an officer.
901
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:11,792
Let's hope you're not
a gentleman.
902
00:56:13,828 --> 00:56:15,498
I'm not even an officer.
903
00:56:30,095 --> 00:56:32,635
[Gopher] Ladies, shortly
we'll be anchoring in Juneau,
904
00:56:32,722 --> 00:56:36,602
Alaska's capital city, situated
at the base of mount Juneau.
905
00:56:36,684 --> 00:56:39,484
We're sure you'll enjoy
exploring this exciting city,
906
00:56:39,562 --> 00:56:42,362
where civilization
is surrounded by
nature's wilderness.
907
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,820
And don't forget,
now is your last chance
908
00:56:44,901 --> 00:56:48,151
to enter the "win a date
with Engelbert" contest.
909
00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:50,318
[Traditional Russian
music playing]
910
00:57:23,439 --> 00:57:25,109
Hi.
911
00:57:28,111 --> 00:57:29,861
Can't we talk this out?
912
00:57:29,946 --> 00:57:34,026
Every time I get over
the feeling that
all men are rotten,
913
00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:36,237
somebody comes along
and proves it to me again.
914
00:57:37,787 --> 00:57:39,867
I know you're upset
with me. I'm sorry.
915
00:57:39,956 --> 00:57:42,206
It's a little late
for "sorry," Adam.
916
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:48,880
Emily, look,
I'm not apologizing.
917
00:57:48,965 --> 00:57:53,255
I'm sorry you're hurting,
but I'm not sorry
for being who I am.
918
00:57:54,220 --> 00:57:56,010
I'm a man who loves women.
919
00:57:57,307 --> 00:57:59,057
A man who lies to women.
920
00:57:59,142 --> 00:58:04,902
No, I never said a word to you
that I didn't mean sincerely.
921
00:58:06,482 --> 00:58:09,072
Oh, I don't know, maybe
I fall in love too easily,
922
00:58:09,152 --> 00:58:12,242
but when I think of
all the poor people out there
923
00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:14,412
who are too afraid
to ever fall in love,
924
00:58:14,490 --> 00:58:19,290
i realized I wouldn't change,
even if I could.
925
00:58:21,289 --> 00:58:22,959
That's what I
wanted to tell you...
926
00:58:23,958 --> 00:58:26,458
And that I care.
927
00:58:28,213 --> 00:58:29,673
You care, Adam?
928
00:58:30,465 --> 00:58:31,965
I care, Emily.
929
00:58:34,177 --> 00:58:38,217
Well, I hope you find
what you're looking for.
930
00:58:51,236 --> 00:58:54,406
[Vicki on pa] Ladies,
the moment you've been
waiting for is here.
931
00:58:54,489 --> 00:58:56,279
Meet us in the acapulco lounge,
932
00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:58,446
where it's
Engelbert Humperdinck night!
933
00:58:58,534 --> 00:59:01,414
[Band playing soft jazz]
934
00:59:06,584 --> 00:59:09,134
It was a stupid thing
to do, I admit it.
935
00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:11,762
I guess I just don't think
I'm good enough for you.
936
00:59:11,839 --> 00:59:15,929
Oh, Harry,
you're not only good enough,
you're the best.
937
00:59:16,010 --> 00:59:21,140
You're kind and caring,
warm, loving.
938
00:59:21,224 --> 00:59:24,024
And you're
a very good-looking man.
939
00:59:26,396 --> 00:59:27,976
You do make an ugly woman.
940
00:59:33,528 --> 00:59:38,568
Well, I hear that you tried
to pull one off for me.
941
00:59:39,409 --> 00:59:40,539
Thanks.
942
00:59:41,411 --> 00:59:43,541
Well, I did try.
943
00:59:43,621 --> 00:59:45,621
You're going to ruin
my image, kid.
944
00:59:45,707 --> 00:59:48,917
I may have to trip a couple
of old ladies in your name.
945
00:59:50,044 --> 00:59:53,014
-You know why I think
we've always been friends?
-Why?
946
00:59:53,089 --> 00:59:56,299
Because I'm the "smile"
you never had.
947
01:00:07,603 --> 01:00:08,983
Adam...
948
01:00:10,106 --> 01:00:13,226
Ever since I've known you,
I've been fighting with you.
949
01:00:13,318 --> 01:00:15,698
Well, at least
we're worthy opponents.
950
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:20,370
Funny, I think of us
as being on the same side.
951
01:00:21,951 --> 01:00:25,251
But you have to be
who you are, and I
have to be who I am.
952
01:00:27,832 --> 01:00:29,002
Shake?
953
01:00:31,961 --> 01:00:33,131
Kiss?
954
01:00:35,965 --> 01:00:38,175
-Hello.
-Hi, girls.
955
01:00:38,259 --> 01:00:41,889
-Hello.
-What do you say we get
back together again also?
956
01:00:41,971 --> 01:00:44,061
Well, all right,
but I have to warn you,
957
01:00:44,140 --> 01:00:46,270
i wrote a terrific
letter to Engelbert.
958
01:00:47,810 --> 01:00:50,900
-Want to make it unanimous?
-Well...
959
01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:53,320
Yeah, you did look kind of cute
in that bath sheet.
960
01:00:57,278 --> 01:00:58,528
I think I'll stay.
961
01:01:00,323 --> 01:01:03,413
[Drumroll]
962
01:01:03,493 --> 01:01:05,623
Thank you, thank you.
963
01:01:06,788 --> 01:01:11,628
Ladies, I know who you're all
waiting for, and it's not me.
964
01:01:16,547 --> 01:01:20,297
So here he is,
the man who flew
all the way to Alaska
965
01:01:20,385 --> 01:01:22,425
because he loves women.
966
01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:24,602
Engelbert Humperdinck!
967
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:27,730
[Cheering, squealing]
968
01:01:44,700 --> 01:01:46,620
Thank you.
969
01:01:46,702 --> 01:01:49,292
Thank you,
and thank you, ladies.
970
01:01:49,372 --> 01:01:52,882
It is indeed a great pleasure
being here with all of you.
971
01:01:53,709 --> 01:01:56,089
You know when I arrived
here this afternoon,
972
01:01:56,170 --> 01:01:59,590
i spent a great deal of time
reading all your letters.
973
01:01:59,674 --> 01:02:03,184
Every one a winner.
All winners.
974
01:02:08,099 --> 01:02:13,939
But with careful consideration,
I chose this particular one...
975
01:02:15,231 --> 01:02:18,031
Because it's different.
Let me show it to you.
976
01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:20,699
And now I shall read it to you.
977
01:02:20,778 --> 01:02:24,198
"I want a date with Engelbert
because he deserves it."
978
01:02:24,282 --> 01:02:27,032
[All laughing]
979
01:02:27,118 --> 01:02:29,998
"A chance at
a real woman, like me."
980
01:02:31,914 --> 01:02:35,504
So, the lady that
has been chosen to go
out on the town with me
981
01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:39,955
and be on my latest album cover
is bernice Bronson.
982
01:02:40,047 --> 01:02:42,587
-[Bernice squeals]
-[Crowd applauding]
983
01:02:45,636 --> 01:02:46,886
There she is.
984
01:02:48,556 --> 01:02:50,846
That's right, Engelbert.
985
01:02:50,933 --> 01:02:55,193
There's nothing
you can teach me,
but I can teach you plenty!
986
01:02:55,271 --> 01:02:57,651
I'm sorry, bernice,
but you're disqualified.
987
01:02:57,732 --> 01:03:00,612
No employee
is allowed to win.
988
01:03:00,693 --> 01:03:02,743
Okay, then I quit.
989
01:03:02,820 --> 01:03:05,360
If you think that I'm going
to pass up a chance
990
01:03:05,448 --> 01:03:07,738
to have a date
with Engelbert Humperdinck,
991
01:03:07,825 --> 01:03:10,235
captain, you can take
your job and...
992
01:03:10,328 --> 01:03:13,458
Ladies,
Mr. Engelbert Humperdinck!
993
01:03:22,632 --> 01:03:28,552
♪ Oh, what a tangled web
we weave ♪
994
01:03:28,638 --> 01:03:33,098
♪ when we practice
to deceive ♪
995
01:03:33,184 --> 01:03:38,944
♪ we play our games
and tell our lies ♪
996
01:03:39,023 --> 01:03:44,613
♪ and synchronize
our alibis ♪
997
01:03:44,695 --> 01:03:50,905
♪ they say forbidden fruit
tastes sweeter ♪
998
01:03:50,993 --> 01:03:56,253
♪ it's precious and so rare ♪
999
01:03:56,332 --> 01:04:01,462
♪ it's heaven
when you taste it ♪
1000
01:04:01,546 --> 01:04:06,086
♪ and it's hell
when it's not there ♪
1001
01:04:06,175 --> 01:04:11,715
♪ I don't see you
when I want you ♪
1002
01:04:11,806 --> 01:04:17,686
♪ you only see me
when you can ♪
1003
01:04:17,770 --> 01:04:22,940
♪ 'cause you're
the other woman ♪
1004
01:04:23,025 --> 01:04:26,855
♪ and I'm the other man ♪
1005
01:04:32,034 --> 01:04:35,964
♪ It's paradise ♪
1006
01:04:37,373 --> 01:04:40,503
♪ but we pay the price ♪
1007
01:04:40,585 --> 01:04:44,625
♪ 'cause ecstasy ♪
1008
01:04:44,714 --> 01:04:49,264
♪ never comes free ♪
1009
01:04:49,343 --> 01:04:54,563
♪ I don't see you
when I want you ♪
1010
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:59,600
♪ you only see me
when you can ♪
1011
01:04:59,687 --> 01:05:05,987
♪ 'cause you're
the other woman ♪
1012
01:05:06,068 --> 01:05:11,028
♪ and I'm the other man ♪
1013
01:05:34,972 --> 01:05:37,352
[Gopher on pa]
Ladies, we are now
leaving Juneau, Alaska.
1014
01:05:37,433 --> 01:05:40,023
It's going to be a fantastic
night on the pacific Princess,
1015
01:05:40,102 --> 01:05:42,442
and when you look up
and see the brightest star,
1016
01:05:42,521 --> 01:05:45,111
that will be
Engelbert Humperdinck
flying home.
1017
01:05:46,942 --> 01:05:49,702
That was some kiss
you gave Engelbert.
1018
01:05:49,779 --> 01:05:55,029
Well, he flew all the way up
to Juneau just to see us.
1019
01:05:55,117 --> 01:05:57,537
I didn't want him
to go home empty lipped.
1020
01:05:59,455 --> 01:06:00,745
Are you jealous?
1021
01:06:00,831 --> 01:06:03,041
-A little.
-How little?
1022
01:06:03,125 --> 01:06:05,625
If he were here right now,
I'd tear off his mustache.
1023
01:06:08,464 --> 01:06:11,054
Bernice, would you like
to get married?
1024
01:06:11,133 --> 01:06:13,223
Sure, but Engelbert
didn't ask me.
1025
01:06:14,136 --> 01:06:15,966
I mean to me.
1026
01:06:19,183 --> 01:06:21,563
Why do you think
I walked you over to the rail?
1027
01:06:22,436 --> 01:06:25,606
Because if you
hadn't proposed, darling,
1028
01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:28,280
I was gonna push you
over the side.
1029
01:06:42,832 --> 01:06:46,132
-I'm worried.
-Why, do you think bernice
was serious about quitting?
1030
01:06:46,210 --> 01:06:48,960
-Oh, don't worry, she'll stay.
-That's what I'm worried about.
1031
01:06:49,046 --> 01:06:52,046
Good. Just the people
I want to see. Come in.
1032
01:06:52,133 --> 01:06:53,723
Well, good night.
I'll see you tomorrow.
1033
01:06:53,801 --> 01:06:55,801
That's all right, Judy,
you can come in too.
1034
01:07:06,188 --> 01:07:11,568
I'm sure you all know
there were two men on
this cruise posing as women.
1035
01:07:13,028 --> 01:07:14,778
I have some bad news
for all of you.
1036
01:07:14,864 --> 01:07:17,954
Bernice has fallen in love
with one of those men.
1037
01:07:18,033 --> 01:07:19,543
Oh, that poor little guy.
1038
01:07:22,329 --> 01:07:25,539
And she has definitely
decided to leave our crew.
1039
01:07:25,624 --> 01:07:26,964
So, what's the bad news?
1040
01:07:30,171 --> 01:07:33,341
Judy, you were once
a cruise director, right?
1041
01:07:34,341 --> 01:07:36,761
-Right.
-Well, she taught Julie.
1042
01:07:36,844 --> 01:07:39,314
Well, since you taught
Julie so well,
1043
01:07:39,388 --> 01:07:43,478
and because we all
love her so much,
1044
01:07:43,559 --> 01:07:46,349
i was wondering if there
might be a chance...
1045
01:07:46,437 --> 01:07:48,607
Oh, that's
a great idea, merrill.
1046
01:07:48,689 --> 01:07:51,779
...that you might
recommend someone to us.
1047
01:07:54,820 --> 01:08:00,120
Oh, well, uh, just off hand,
sir, I can't think of anyone.
1048
01:08:00,201 --> 01:08:01,831
Well, why don't you
recommend yourself?
1049
01:08:01,911 --> 01:08:04,291
Yeah, you're
the best person for the job.
1050
01:08:04,371 --> 01:08:07,371
-Yeah.
-Now why didn't
I think of that?
1051
01:08:08,626 --> 01:08:13,756
Well, if anyone gets around
to asking the question,
the answer is "yes."
1052
01:08:13,839 --> 01:08:16,339
[All cheering]
1053
01:08:37,655 --> 01:08:40,065
Goodbye, Jane.
It was nice meeting you,
1054
01:08:40,157 --> 01:08:42,367
although I wasn't
too sure for a while.
1055
01:08:42,451 --> 01:08:44,331
Be careful, merrill.
You're a good catch.
1056
01:08:44,411 --> 01:08:46,161
And keep your mitts
off my wife.
1057
01:08:48,082 --> 01:08:51,712
-Goodbye.
-And remember, we're all
getting together next weekend.
1058
01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:54,264
-Right.
-Right. It'll be
my first triple date.
1059
01:08:54,338 --> 01:08:55,878
Now what should we do?
1060
01:08:55,965 --> 01:08:57,875
Well, why don't
you guys decide?
1061
01:08:57,967 --> 01:09:00,547
Oh, I know, right around
the corner from my apartment,
1062
01:09:00,636 --> 01:09:02,506
-there's a great
little steam bath...
-Gopher!
1063
01:09:02,596 --> 01:09:04,636
On second thought,
we'll pick the place.
1064
01:09:06,267 --> 01:09:08,267
-Take care. Bye.
-Bye.
1065
01:09:08,352 --> 01:09:10,562
-Bye.
-Bye.
1066
01:09:10,646 --> 01:09:12,356
-Bye, Emily.
-Bye, Diane.
1067
01:09:14,149 --> 01:09:17,949
Bernice, I know your date with
Engelbert will be memorable.
1068
01:09:18,028 --> 01:09:20,528
Well, tell him that.
He's the one who lucked out.
1069
01:09:22,491 --> 01:09:23,701
Vicki.
1070
01:09:24,827 --> 01:09:28,457
Now that I'm leaving,
I can tell you that
I really like you.
1071
01:09:28,539 --> 01:09:30,209
[Vicki] Oh, thank you.
1072
01:09:30,291 --> 01:09:32,881
But don't let it
go to your head.
1073
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:35,670
I suppose you want me to
tell you how I feel about you.
1074
01:09:35,754 --> 01:09:37,264
Yes, but not now.
1075
01:09:37,339 --> 01:09:39,129
Send me a postcard,
25 words or less.
1076
01:09:40,175 --> 01:09:42,675
-You got it.
-All right. Bye-bye.
1077
01:09:45,514 --> 01:09:48,234
So long, bernice.
You are one of a kind.
1078
01:09:51,186 --> 01:09:55,516
Good luck, kid.
And if you need any pointers,
you give me a call.
1079
01:10:01,071 --> 01:10:03,871
[Humming Engelbert's song]
1080
01:10:06,535 --> 01:10:09,955
[Chattering]
1081
01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:13,329
You know, Judy,
this is the first time
I've ever said these words
1082
01:10:13,417 --> 01:10:16,247
at the end of a cruise
instead of at the beginning:
1083
01:10:16,337 --> 01:10:18,167
"Welcome aboard!"
1084
01:10:51,622 --> 01:10:53,712
[Theme music playing]
79645
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