Original subtitles

(Nate screaming)

- Nate!

Hold on!

Hey, I have a parachute.

Here, grab my hand.

It's not working!

- What?

Zach, that's not a parachute!

That's my backpack!

- Okay.

Hold on!

- Wait, what?

- Sorry! - [Nate] What are you-

(Nate screaming)

- [Zach] Nate, hold on!

- [Nate] I can't stop holding on if I wanted to!

(Zach and Nate yelling)

Okay, that's it!

I am never, ever flying again.

- I can't believe that worked.

- Oh, I love you, ground.

Precious, wonderful ground.

- Where are we?

(bird squawking)

- I dunno.

Zach.

- Nate! It's quick sand!

- I hate you, ground!

Stupid, dumb ground!

Zach, do a trick!

- I can't, my hands are already under!

- What?

Oh, man, I didn't think this is how it would end!

(uplifting heroic music)

- Hi there, I'm Nelson Balboa.

legendary archeologist.

Francine!

Get a nice and low shot of me saving these poor souls!

Look over there.

Over there.

(Nelson laughing triumphantly)

I just wish I could experience what it's like

to be saved by the most famous archeologist of all time.

- Aren't you that guy on the dating show?

He's the guy.

- No, wait, you're the guy who invented

the electric wheel shoes.

- See, this is my problem.

Look, I've wasted over 9% of my family fortune

putting myself on every magazine rack and bookshelf

and party beach dating show,

and it's not enough!

You know, I need to be remembered

for more than just those things.

But you two are in for a real treat today.

- Is that lotion?

- Yeah.

- Can I have some? - Sure.

- Nate, it's empty.

You used it all.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Nate, wait up.

Dude, this is so cool.

I've never seen a dig site like this.

- It's incredible.

Everyone looks so legit.

Zach?

- What do you think?

- Dude! That is cool.

- Isn't this cool? - Yeah.

- You want one? - Definitely.

- Looks good.

- [Nelson] Zach, come here!

- Should we go?

- Come here!

This map is the key to my legacy.

Every famous Egyptian mummy has been discovered,

except one!

Many have tried but failed to find

the lost tomb of a cursed pharaoh.

- Nate.

(fan whirring)

- Oh, sorry, sorry.

- Legend has it a terrible sandstorm

buried an entire city out here,

interrupting the mummification of their newly dead king.

It is said he's still out there now,

furiously searching the dark catacombs for his sarcophagus.

Eager to destroy anything

or anyone who crosses his path.

(Nelson laughing)

But, come on!

We all know living mummies aren't real, right?

(Nate and Zach laughing nervously)

- Yeah, except golden magic hooks,

ancient pirates.

- That statue points the way up to the king's tomb.

But, you know, it'll be a while before we dig deep enough

to see where he's pointing.

- Well, do you guys have a brush?

- Zach, a great archeologist always has a brush.

(Nelson snapping)

- Oh, that's a lot of brushes.

Okay.

(camera snapping)

- Hey, Francine! Take a picture of us!

(Nelson chuckling)

I am so glad I saved you.

It should be here!

My feet can can sense it and my feet are never wrong!

Except for that one time.

- Nelson, what are we looking for?

(camera snapping)

- Nobody's sure, but I think there was-

(Zach and Nate yelling)

- Haha! I knew my feet knew it!

(Zach and Nate spitting out sand)

- Nelson!

- We're going to get some rope!

Don't discover anything without me!

- Well, I guess we can hang out here.

- Nelson!

(creepy voice whispering)

What was that?

There's definitely something in here.

(dark dramatic music)

(skeleton screaming)

(Nate screaming)

(Nate hyperventilating)

- I wonder...

(creepy voice whispering)

- What was that?

- It's probably just the wind.

(creepy voice whispering)

- [Nate] That doesn't sound like the wind.

- Nate, remember when we were kids

and we would take out the trash?

- Yeah.

- What would we do when it was dark out?

- Run! - Run!

(Zach and Nate screaming in fear)

(intense dramatic music)

It's a dead end!

Hey, I think this is it.

(Zach and Nate screaming)

Huh?

He's a kid mummy?

- Mummy.

- Huh.

(Nate yelling)

- Mummy.

- Zach, get him off you.

He could be devouring your soul through his hug right now.

- He's definitely not.

- Mummy.

- I think he needs a hug.

- Mummy! - No, no, no, no, I'm good!

I'm good, I'm good.

- Huh?

- Hey, you must know these tombs pretty well.

Can you find us an exit?

- Ah! Mummy!

- Oh, he knows where's the exit is.

- Zach, no.

Nothing good comes from something cursed and undead.

I mean, look at it him.

(kid mummy sighing cutely)

We can't trust him.

- Okay, well, you can stay here in your tomb.

(kid mummy giggling)

- Zach!

Zach!

- Must get pretty lonely in this place.

- Oh, mummy.

- Sorry about your city getting buried by the sand and all.

- Enh. Mummy.

- You're not even doing it right.

Look.

Thumb up.

Pinky.

Shake it.

Hey, he's getting the hang of it.

- Careful, he might be devouring your soul

through the Shaka right now.

- Okay, ha ha-

(Zach yelling)

- All right, we're good.

(metallic clanking)

(Zach gasping)

He sacrificed himself.

- Isn't he already...

- [Zach] He saved my life.

- Mummy.

(Shaka hand jingling)

- Ah! He's alive.

I mean, he's dead, but he's...

- Well, I'm hoping that is all the traps in this place.

(Nate knocking on wall)

We should be good.

(Zach and Nate screaming)

- Huh?

Mummy!

(Shaka hand jingling)

- Hey!

(eerie suspenseful music)

- Wow.

Hey, Nate, that's gotta be the tomb.

- Well, I'd say I don't believe it,

but I do believe it because I was completely right!

He tricked us!

You only brought us to this tomb so we could help you!

You weren't leading us out of here!

- Nate, look at him.

Come on.

- I know, I know.

- All right, together.

Three, two, one.

(stone scraping the floor)

What's he pointing it?

Oh, hey, stairs.

- [Kid Mummy] Mummy, mummy.

- You know what, I've been wrong a lot in life.

This is one of those moments.

- The legends are true.

I've done it!

I've found him!

And he's alive!

- [Zach] Nelson, wait! - Mummy!

- I knew all that capturing baby orangutans would pay off.

Everyone said I was a mad man.

- Wait, Nelson, he just wants to go home.

- Please, he was probably leading you into this chamber

so he could drink your life essence

and grow more powerful than ever before.

- That's what I was saying!

But I was wrong!

- I'm afraid there's only room for one hero

in my cover story.

(Nelson cocking weapon)

- Oh! What is that?

(Nelson firing weapon)

(Zach and Nate struggling)

- Hey, we gotta save the kid.

- Dude, he drove off.

We're like stranded for the third time.

Wait. Fourth time?

Does earlier count?

- I got an idea.

- Huh? What?

- Wiggle this way. - Okay.

- [Zach] Like wiggle.

- [Nate] What is your idea?

- [Zach] Roll. - [Nate] What are you doing?

- [Zach] Just roll with me.

- [Zach] No. - [Nate] It's faster.

(net tearing)

- [Nate] What are you doing? - [Zach] I dunno.

- [Nate] Try harder. - [Zach] I'm trying harder.

- [Nate] You have a knife.

- [Zach] Can you get through?

- [Nate] You're doing it!

- [Zach] Sorry, I haven't done this since Boy Scouts.

- [Nate] You're doing great.

- Nate, gonna need your underwear again.

- No.

No, no, we, no, we are not-

Can you see them anywhere?

- Oh, they're down there!

I see 'em!

(kid mummy moaning)

(Nelson cackling wildly)

(Zach and Nate yelling)

They're down there!

- Mummy?

- I am not your mummy!

- Yeah!

- Oh, hi.

- What are you doing?!

- Mummy.

(Nelson screaming)

- You think you're so impressive

because you can change the fabric of reality?!

Well, I can punch very hard!

(Nelson punching Zach)

- Okay, go, come on.

- Zach!

Cliff!

- Hold on, I'm coming up.

- Jump now!

- I won't let you steal my discovery!

I'll be remembered forever for this!

- No, no, no, no, noooooo!

Zach!

Zach!

Zach!

I didn't think this is how it would end.

- Mummy.

- [Zach] Nate!

- Even now, I can still hear his voice.

- [Zach] Nate! - Hmm?

- Zach?

Zach!

- [Kid Mummy] Mummy, mummy.

- [Zach] Ah, bring it in.

- [Nate] Put her there, guys. - [Kid Mummy] Mummy.

- Good adventures.

Whoah.

(guitar riff striking)

- [Kid Mummy] Mummy.

- Look at us making history.

- Yeah, but who's making dinner?

- Wait, seriously, you're thinking about food right now?

- I haven't eaten all day.

- That's a good point.

What are you in the mood for?

- [Nate] In-N-Out?

- [Zach] That sounds really good.

Mummies, pirates, we've seen it all.

- [Nate] It can't get crazier than that.

Right?

(Zach and Nate yelling)

- Get this video to 250,000 likes

and we'll make a part four!

(Nelson struggling)

- A little more.

Oh, Francine! Thank God you're here.

Help me, will you?

- Wait.

Cover story!

(camera snapping)

- Wait, wait!

No!

Nooooooooooooo!