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1
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,183
-Howdy.
2
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,690
Can you help me to buy some tinny, Lowie?
3
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:28,946
Everybody thinks they know their history.
4
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,449
Not as well as | do.
5
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:37,996
| was there in, '76.
6
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:43,627
1776.
7
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,424
Don't believe me, do you?
[chuckles]
8
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:52,844
| sure was.
9
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,598
| knew the best of them,
10
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,309
Washington,
11
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,563
Jefferson,
12
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,357
Franklin,
13
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,442
Revere.
14
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,445
| saw America
15
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:11,905
get born.
16
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:20,330
You know, | could tell you a thing
or two about the Revolution.
17
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,208
Huh?
18
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:25,877
Come with me.
19
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:32,301
Look at that ocean out there,
them pretty boats.
20
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:37,139
If | look at them much longer,
I'm going to throw up all over myself.
21
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,725
Never could stand the ocean.
22
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,186
Oh, God, my feet are killing me.
23
00:01:45,63 --> 00:01:48,483
History books only give you half of it.
24
00:01:50,27 --> 00:01:55,949
Washington, Jefferson,
oh, all of them great men.
25
00:01:58,368 --> 00:01:59,620
| Knew them all.
26
00:02:03,40 --> 00:02:06,877
We had some great times
27
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:09,338
right here in New England.
28
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,54
Now you, looky here and listen.
29
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,58
I'll tell you what really happened.
30
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:28,106
| can tell you all
about the real spirit of '76.
31
00:02:28,106 --> 00:03:21,159
[patriotic music]
32
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,929
-Martha. Martha, come here.
| must talk to you.
33
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:43,640
-General Washington.
34
00:03:44,57 --> 00:03:46,309
It was a wonder to see you walking
after last night.
35
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,19
-Oh, it was nice, was it not?
36
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,646
A new day has dawned.
37
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,274
Look, we have a wee bit of time
before | engage the British.
38
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,358
How about a little--
39
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,611
-George, | have no bloody time
for a roll in the hay.
40
00:03:57,70 --> 00:03:58,488
The chickens must be fed,
41
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,198
the cows must be milked,
42
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,452
and | have to make tea
for the quilting bee.
43
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,495
-| have a twitch that must be itched.
44
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,748
We're not going to squabble, are we?
45
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,583
-Well--
46
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,668
-Okay, fine.
It's settled then.
47
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,296
Over by the cherry tree
in the orchard, five minutes.
48
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,547
-Which cherry tree?
49
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,382
-I'm glad you asked me that.
50
00:04:18,08 --> 00:04:22,637
Beyond the spacious skies,
right at the amber waves of grain,
51
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:26,558
east of the purple mountains' majesty,
and right at the fruited plains.
52
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,18
You can't miss it.
53
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:35,442
-The wars would be better
won were it fought in bed.
54
00:05:03,94 --> 00:05:05,430
George?
-Yes, my Martha.
55
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,433
Martha look, I've made
the cover of Time Magazine.
56
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,477
A bit of a celebrity, | am, huh?
57
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,394
Yes.
58
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,687
Terrific.
59
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:17,484
Look George, I've only got a few moments
to waste on this foolishness.
60
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,528
Let's get on
with that twitch of yours, huh?
61
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,154
-Okay.
62
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:25,242
This is time to see
to the needs of our country.
63
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,828
[chuckles]
64
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:28,954
Yes.
65
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:36,753
[music]
66
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,839
[moaning]
67
00:05:39,89 --> 00:05:42,884
[music]
68
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,766
-Oh, George.
69
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:17,228
[moaning]
70
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:25,695
[music]
71
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:30,951
[moaning]
72
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:38,375
[music]
73
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,933
What'd | tell you.
74
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,646
Wasn't George was a hell of a guy?
75
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:36,821
Well, come on, there's some other people
| want you to meet.
76
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,77
Paul Revere.
77
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:47,290
Now there's a nutcase for you,
riding through the city, waking
78
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,375
everybody and his brother up.
79
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:53,129
[chuckles]
He was a hell of a guy, though.
80
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,964
Look at that statue they gave him.
81
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,591
Pretty nice, huh?
82
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:01,95
It's a shame it's got 200 years
of pigeon shit all over it.
83
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,849
He used to love to drink and fuck around.
84
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:10,855
Why, now there's a guy who loved
his women anytime, anyplace.
85
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,984
He had a signal which he hung
in the north church back there
86
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,863
to tell his girlfriend where to meet him.
[chuckles]
87
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,492
One of by land and two of by sea.
88
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:26,579
You might think that was
a warning about the British.
89
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,830
Bullshit.
90
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:33,378
It was a signal for his girlfriend
to meet him in the woods or in the harbor.
91
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,213
[laughs]
92
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:38,716
-Hey, Paul Revere.
You ain't no gentleman.
93
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,928
You ain't always trying
to play with me buns, you are.
94
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:45,139
-Yes, because you have such lovely buns.
95
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:49,394
-Oh, you can't tell so much outside,
Mr. Canyon.
96
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:52,981
-No, but I'm a connoisseur
and | know good buns when | see them,
97
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,732
be they under wraps or not.
98
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:58,569
-Oh, those lovely woods.
99
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:01,948
-It is pretty, isn't it,
but not half as pretty as you.
100
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:06,869
[laughter]
101
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:10,748
Walk over me so that | might catch
a quick glimpse of your ass.
102
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,127
-Oh Paul.
103
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:30,268
[music]
[moaning]
104
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,457
-Oh, that was good, that was.
105
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:56,294
-Oh, | should say so.
106
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,713
Oh.
107
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,674
-I've got some twigs in me briches.
108
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:05,553
Let's go over to my place
and finish it off.
109
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:09,557
-Oh, I'd love to finish it off with you.
110
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,476
-It's right over the next hill.
111
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,355
-Over the rise, as they say.
112
00:14:18,66 --> 00:14:20,401
[birds chirping]
113
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,783
-Washington should see us now.
114
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:30,244
He's probably out playing
catch the red coat, buffoon.
115
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,747
-Oh, | don't know.
116
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,82
| think he's rather nice.
117
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,294
His wooden teeth did give me splinters.
118
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,213
-Splinters? I'll have to be careful.
119
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:43,508
-Oh, fear not.
| will accommodate thee well.
120
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,347
-Let us tarry no longer.
121
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,765
The evening grows short.
122
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:54,310
That fool John Hancock's
coming over for a late dinner.
123
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,979
-Oh, a threesome.
124
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,398
-Oh, you wouldn't enjoy John.
125
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,566
The only thing big
about him is his signature.
126
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,443
-Oh, you're just jealous.
127
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,611
-Not on your life.
128
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:06,197
I'm a bigger man than any
of those revolutionaries.
129
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:08,866
-We'll see about that.
130
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:16,707
[music]
131
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:47,405
[moaning]
[music]
132
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,505
-Right there, right there.
133
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:31,592
[music]
134
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,416
-Do you like that?
135
00:18:08,45 --> 00:18:10,256
-Do | like that?
-Does it feel good?
136
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:13,175
-Oh, does it feel good?
It feels very good.
137
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,219
Just don't stop.
138
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,238
-Put it in thy mouth.
139
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:35,489
Oh.
140
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,704
Oh, that feels good,
141
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,85
and right around the edge, love.
142
00:18:49,86 --> 00:18:53,90
[moaning]
143
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,810
Oh, that's good.
144
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,782
Oh, you're the best.
145
00:19:18,32 --> 00:19:23,704
[moaning]
146
00:19:35,49 --> 00:19:36,926
Oh, yes.
147
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,386
Oh, yes.
148
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:47,561
[moaning]
149
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,397
All the way.
150
00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,363
Oh, you're good.
151
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:02,702
[moaning]
152
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:19,427
[music]
[moaning]
153
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:39,632
-Keep doing it.
154
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:43,344
[moaning]
155
00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:45,12
-Oh, Paul.
156
00:21:45,12 --> 00:21:46,806
Oh, give it to me.
157
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:53,521
[moaning intensely]
158
00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:55,815
Come on, get down on me.
159
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,399
Harder, daddy.
160
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:58,776
Harder, daddy.
161
00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:03,656
[moaning]
162
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,283
-Let me hear you come.
163
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,869
-[moaning intensely]
164
00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:10,287
The British are coming.
165
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,789
The British are coming.
166
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,500
The British are coming.
167
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,836
Oh, the British are coming.
168
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:21,966
[moaning loudly]
169
00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:25,386
-Oh, god, that's so good.
170
00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:29,181
[moaning]
171
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:34,979
[moaning]
172
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:36,939
[music fades]
173
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:40,568
[moaning]
174
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:42,278
-Amy.
175
00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:54,707
-Ah, Boston, the birthplace
of Ben Franklin, the inventor.
176
00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:56,917
He could invent anything.
177
00:22:57,585 --> 00:23:00,963
This wacko got his nuts off flying kites.
178
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:06,260
Well, we're out fighting a war,
and he's out playing with himself.
179
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:08,262
Degenerate bastard.
180
00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:12,766
[music]
181
00:23:56,644 --> 00:24:01,315
-[humming]
182
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,530
Oh, my.
183
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,463
-Excuse me.
184
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:28,92
Are you the very famous Dr. Ben Franklin?
185
00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:31,553
-Oh, yes, indeed, | am.
186
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:35,140
-Oh dear, kind sir, you must help me.
187
00:24:36,725 --> 00:24:38,769
-What can | do for thee, my child?
188
00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:41,146
-It's complicated.
189
00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:46,527
General Washington
told me only you could solve my problem.
190
00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:49,279
-He did?
He did?
191
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,34
-Not only did he say that you were indeed
the finest inventor in the colonies,
192
00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:56,787
but also its resident lecher.
-He did?
193
00:24:57,37 --> 00:24:58,580
Oh, how nice.
194
00:24:59,81 --> 00:25:02,376
Oh well, tell me, my child,
what is it | can do for thee?
195
00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:06,88
-Well, it is me crumpets.
196
00:25:06,797 --> 00:25:09,49
-Thy crumpets?
-Me crumpets.
197
00:25:09,49 --> 00:25:10,50
-[chuckles]
198
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:14,96
Oh, well, me little wench,
what is wrong with thy crumpet?
199
00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:22,146
-My lovers have all tried their best,
but | can't get me crumpets off.
200
00:25:22,146 --> 00:25:25,482
-Thee has come to the right person.
201
00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:26,942
-| have?
202
00:25:26,942 --> 00:25:28,152
-Oh, yes.
203
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:29,653
Oh, yes, indeed.
204
00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:32,489
-Then, you can help me?
205
00:25:33,824 --> 00:25:36,243
-Yes, my latest invention.
206
00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:37,453
Here, hold my kite.
207
00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:41,457
Let's see, it must be here someplace.
208
00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:45,85
| Know | had it with me when | came
on my--
209
00:25:45,85 --> 00:25:47,463
Let's see, maybe it's in this pocket here.
210
00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:49,298
[chuckles]
211
00:25:49,298 --> 00:25:51,925
Of course, that's not it, how silly of me.
212
00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:54,720
Let's see, | may have
put it in here though.
213
00:25:55,12 --> 00:25:59,641
Oh, no, that's tipsy stomach, you know.
214
00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:02,728
Let's see now, | know
I've got it here somewhere.
215
00:26:02,728 --> 00:26:05,773
Oh my, my, my, let's see,
| hope the cat didn't have it.
216
00:26:05,773 --> 00:26:07,274
Let's see, somewhere.
217
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:13,155
Oh, yes, here it is, my child.
[chuckles]
218
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:19,286
Go ahead and take a little nibble,
it'll be all right.
219
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:23,665
-Pray tell, good doctor,
what have thee there?
220
00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:31,131
-It is a crumpet stuffer.
-It is interesting.
221
00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:32,549
What does they do with it?
222
00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:38,347
-| stuff it in thy crumpet, in and out,
in and out.
223
00:26:38,639 --> 00:26:42,351
-To tell the truth, Dr. Franklin,
| think it's strange.
224
00:26:44,19 --> 00:26:46,63
-Here, let me show thee.
225
00:26:46,63 --> 00:26:51,151
Lift thine skirt.
Oh, my, my, such pretty legs.
226
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:54,780
Oh, my, such a pretty beaver.
227
00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:57,699
| think we'll make
that the symbol of Oregon someday.
228
00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:01,411
Now round and round
the little crumpet stuffer goes,
229
00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:06,458
round and round and round.
Oh, my, my, my.
230
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:09,837
Now we wind the string of the kite.
231
00:27:09,837 --> 00:27:14,07
Let's see, here it is now, winding round
and round the little crumpet stuffer.
232
00:27:14,07 --> 00:27:17,594
[explosion]
233
00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:18,846
-You see.
234
00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:24,810
[buzzing sound]
235
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,311
-Here we go.
236
00:27:28,939 --> 00:27:30,232
[moaning]
237
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,25
[buzzing sound]
238
00:27:50,544 --> 00:27:52,421
[moaning]
239
00:27:58,10 --> 00:28:00,554
[music]
[moaning]
240
00:28:33,45 --> 00:28:34,755
-Oh, my.
241
00:28:36,48 --> 00:28:38,300
-It's good.
-Oh, so firm.
242
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:41,261
[moaning]
Oh, my dear.
243
00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:43,138
-Oh, Dr. Franklin.
244
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,600
[moaning]
[kissing]
245
00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:07,329
[moaning]
246
00:29:14,795 --> 00:29:17,381
[music]
247
00:29:17,381 --> 00:29:19,91
[moaning]
248
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,301
[music]
249
00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:47,828
[kissing]
[moaning]
250
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:59,256
[music]
[moaning]
251
00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:29,823
-Suck it.
Oh, yes.
252
00:32:30,73 --> 00:32:34,995
[moaning]
253
00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:55,515
[moaning intensifies]
254
00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:10,614
[music]
255
00:33:49,277 --> 00:33:52,739
-Oh, here | am out in the water again.
256
00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:53,740
Oh god.
257
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:57,994
If | throw up one more time
on my undershirt, oh, well.
258
00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:03,875
My pappy used to hang out around here
with a guy named John Garbanzo.
259
00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:08,964
You know him as John Smith,
so does the local Holiday Inn.
260
00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:11,633
He used to fuck around on his wife a lot.
261
00:34:12,08 --> 00:34:13,677
John Smith,
262
00:34:14,302 --> 00:34:16,471
can you believe a fucking name like that?
263
00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:20,642
Now here was a guy who was really
into Indian broads.
264
00:34:20,642 --> 00:34:23,979
[music]
265
00:34:24,229 --> 00:34:27,816
Now one day he was riding
through the woods with a half a hard on,
266
00:34:28,24 --> 00:34:32,737
looking for somewhere to put it,
when he spied a great set of tits
267
00:34:32,988 --> 00:34:34,698
riding through the forest.
268
00:34:35,490 --> 00:34:40,36
He wanted his women
like his coffee, hot and black.
269
00:34:40,36 --> 00:34:42,497
Degenerate bastard.
270
00:34:42,747 --> 00:34:48,587
[music]
271
00:35:04,311 --> 00:35:07,480
[music]
-Me, Captain John Smith.
272
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:08,398
Thou?
273
00:35:08,398 --> 00:35:09,899
-Pocahontas.
274
00:35:13,361 --> 00:35:16,823
-Boy, has thou got great tits.
275
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:20,619
I'd give a years pay to fuck.
276
00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:24,205
-Now you're talking the kind
of trash | like to hear, my man.
277
00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:25,206
-What say thee?
278
00:35:25,457 --> 00:35:27,459
-You know what I'm talking,
spaghetti bender.
279
00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:29,919
| ain't talking no pasta and berry sauce.
280
00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:31,838
You want to pack my crack?
281
00:35:32,47 --> 00:35:33,882
You boot me some loot, zoot suit.
282
00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:36,09
-That was understood every word I'd said.
283
00:35:36,92 --> 00:35:37,677
-Every syllable.
284
00:35:37,886 --> 00:35:41,56
-Are you sure you're an Indian?
-Hey, don't blow my cover.
285
00:35:41,56 --> 00:35:43,58
I'm a Manhattan Indian up
from 42nd Street.
286
00:35:43,58 --> 00:35:44,267
-[moans]
287
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:46,853
-Hey, wait a minute now.
288
00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:48,521
We got to talk a little business first.
289
00:35:48,730 --> 00:35:50,940
-Anything. Just anything.
290
00:35:50,940 --> 00:35:54,694
[moans]
291
00:35:54,944 --> 00:35:59,616
[music]
292
00:36:28,144 --> 00:36:35,26
[moaning]
293
00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:38,214
[moaning]
294
00:38:26,95 --> 00:38:34,437
[moaning]
295
00:40:09,282 --> 00:40:15,538
[music]
[moaning]
296
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:56,329
-[groans]
297
00:41:05,46 --> 00:41:08,341
God, my hemorrhoids are killing me.
298
00:41:12,595 --> 00:41:16,474
If you had hemorrhoids
as long as | have had them,
299
00:41:17,517 --> 00:41:20,812
you'd know what a pain
in the ass really is.
300
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:24,649
[groans]
301
00:41:26,109 --> 00:41:28,736
Oh, looky there.
302
00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:35,243
Well, the population
hasn't changed since | was a kid.
303
00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:38,287
[chuckles] That's weird.
304
00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:41,791
Oh well, come on.
305
00:41:42,208 --> 00:41:47,46
This is the bridge that the Minutemen
used to cross to meet their wenches.
306
00:41:48,06 --> 00:41:51,426
You know, | Knew three of them personally.
307
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:56,222
The one who were in that famous picture
you've all seen.
308
00:41:56,848 --> 00:41:59,267
These were some fun-loving guys.
309
00:41:59,767 --> 00:42:02,270
Always out for a good time.
310
00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:08,67
You probably all wondered
how the Minutemen really got their name.
311
00:42:08,818 --> 00:42:10,903
Well, let me show you.
312
00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:14,532
-It's quite fine out here, today.
-Oh, it's a nice day, isn't it?
313
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,701
-Why don't you leave it on, fella?
314
00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:17,785
[laughs]
315
00:42:17,785 --> 00:42:19,203
-Nice job, nice job.
316
00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:26,252
[crosstalk]
317
00:42:27,253 --> 00:42:30,298
-What do you say? You want to hear some?
You want to hear some?
318
00:42:30,298 --> 00:42:33,92
A little song | learned up the street.
-Play.
319
00:42:33,92 --> 00:42:34,802
[music]
320
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:37,388
-Would you like to dance?
Oh, good.
321
00:42:37,638 --> 00:42:42,560
[music]
322
00:43:04,123 --> 00:43:05,166
-Did you hear a noise?
323
00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:10,630
[music]
324
00:43:15,259 --> 00:43:16,469
-What's going on?
325
00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:18,471
-It's soldiers.
326
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:22,58
-Oh, ho, just what we need.
327
00:43:22,58 --> 00:43:23,59
Hi.
328
00:43:23,59 --> 00:43:28,981
[music]
329
00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:30,24
-Hello.
330
00:43:30,691 --> 00:43:34,28
Mighty fine-looking lads you are.
331
00:43:34,403 --> 00:43:35,863
-Not bad-looking themselves.
332
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,365
-Come on over here.
333
00:43:37,365 --> 00:43:38,783
Don't be shy.
334
00:43:39,492 --> 00:43:42,120
[crosstalk]
335
00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:43,663
-| want the one in the red.
336
00:43:43,663 --> 00:43:45,373
-Oh, yes, quite, quite, yes.
337
00:43:46,82 --> 00:43:47,542
Hello.
-Hello.
338
00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:49,252
-Hello there.
-| say there...
339
00:43:49,502 --> 00:43:54,257
-Well, now, what say you young ladies
come have a yard of ale with us here,
340
00:43:54,423 --> 00:43:55,925
fighting boys?
341
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:57,635
-Fighting boys, my ass.
342
00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:59,720
Only fighting you've been doing is
with your own self.
343
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:02,181
-Oh, poppycock, poppycock.
344
00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:06,102
You girls been missing out on lots
of fun, now, haven't they, boys?
345
00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:09,21
It's been a long time
since you met studs like us.
346
00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:13,609
-Hey, soldier boy, | like your style.
347
00:44:14,26 --> 00:44:17,697
What say, we get together
over the old barn on the edge of town?
348
00:44:18,30 --> 00:44:19,907
-Hey, don't waste
your time there, brother.
349
00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:22,34
These here girls are going to stand us up.
350
00:44:22,618 --> 00:44:25,37
-Zeb, let's go
on over to that there cat house and screw
351
00:44:25,37 --> 00:44:26,372
those witches over there.
352
00:44:26,372 --> 00:44:29,83
What do you say, huh?
-Hey, hey. Hold on, boy.
353
00:44:29,792 --> 00:44:32,420
Zeb has business to take care of.
354
00:44:33,296 --> 00:44:39,510
Now, let's say about 9:00, by the by.
355
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,471
-What's the address?
-Hey, what's that?
356
00:44:44,974 --> 00:44:49,187
-Just my pulsar digital hourglass.
357
00:44:50,438 --> 00:44:54,525
My father picked it up for me
in Cartiers of Mercantile.
358
00:44:54,525 --> 00:44:56,652
[laughter]
359
00:44:56,903 --> 00:44:57,653
-Right on.
360
00:44:57,904 --> 00:44:59,530
[laughs]
361
00:44:59,780 --> 00:45:01,490
-Tho art very hip.
362
00:45:01,782 --> 00:45:04,76
Don't you be worrying about the address.
363
00:45:04,452 --> 00:45:07,872
You boys is horny enough to smell us out.
364
00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:10,541
See you about 9:00.
365
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:11,626
[whistles]
-[chuckles]
366
00:45:11,626 --> 00:45:12,752
-[hollers]
367
00:45:12,752 --> 00:45:14,337
-Right you are.
368
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:15,546
-[chuckles] Doggies.
369
00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:16,839
-Come on, boys.
370
00:45:16,839 --> 00:45:18,132
[cheering]
371
00:45:18,382 --> 00:45:22,595
[music]
372
00:45:42,406 --> 00:45:43,407
-Don't worry, Missy.
373
00:45:43,407 --> 00:45:45,243
Your sister knows what she's about.
374
00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:47,495
-| don't know.
375
00:45:47,495 --> 00:45:50,373
Ma always said you were the crazy one
and | think she was right.
376
00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:52,792
-Well, if you're going to be such
a prude about it, you can go over there
377
00:45:52,792 --> 00:45:55,670
in the corner and watch.
-Watch what?
378
00:45:56,128 --> 00:46:00,91
-| can take on all three of those guys
and still have enough left
379
00:46:00,91 --> 00:46:01,801
over for the Continental Army.
380
00:46:02,51 --> 00:46:03,719
-God, you're crude.
381
00:46:04,178 --> 00:46:06,264
-You sure are
a sweet little thing, aren't you?
382
00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:08,933
When's the last time anybody got
into your little panties?
383
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:10,935
-What's that supposed to mean?
384
00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:53,102
[music]
385
00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:52,953
It's been such a long day.
386
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:57,458
Why end it the long way?
387
00:47:58,42 --> 00:48:14,642
Let's stay awake all night
and watch the stars.
388
00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:55,641
It's been such a long day.
389
00:48:56,892 --> 00:49:00,604
Why end it the long way?
390
00:49:00,604 --> 00:49:14,118
Let's stay awake all night
and watch the stars.
391
00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:25,796
[music]
392
00:50:05,628 --> 00:50:09,298
[music]
It's been such a long day.
393
00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:14,136
Why end it the long way?
394
00:50:14,136 --> 00:50:30,402
Let's stay awake all night
and watch the stars.
395
00:50:30,653 --> 00:50:37,826
[music]
396
00:51:20,411 --> 00:51:23,247
-Hey, what's going on in here?
397
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:25,791
-Come on up.
It's 9:00 right here.
398
00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:27,84
-We're in here.
399
00:51:27,418 --> 00:51:28,419
Come on in.
400
00:51:29,03 --> 00:51:30,546
-All right, come on.
401
00:51:30,546 --> 00:51:32,506
-That is, if you think you can make it?
402
00:51:32,673 --> 00:51:34,883
-Oh.
-| think we can make it, sweetheart.
403
00:51:35,259 --> 00:51:36,719
You don't worry about that.
404
00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:40,389
[cheering]
[cackling]
405
00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:42,891
-Just letting you know, I'm going first.
406
00:51:45,394 --> 00:51:48,522
[cackling]
[whistling]
407
00:51:50,232 --> 00:51:51,358
-Oh, God.
408
00:51:51,358 --> 00:51:52,484
Check it out.
409
00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:56,614
-It's been way too long, lassies.
410
00:51:57,72 --> 00:51:59,158
-They probably couldn't live without us.
411
00:51:59,158 --> 00:52:00,409
-Right.
412
00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:02,745
-Your cocks have now arrived.
413
00:52:03,78 --> 00:52:05,39
-ls that all there is, three of you?
414
00:52:06,332 --> 00:52:08,626
This won't take long,
you can wait back there.
415
00:52:09,01 --> 00:52:12,87
-Damn, that's the best lay I've ever had,
lassie.
416
00:52:12,87 --> 00:52:13,714
-Oh, let her go, brother.
417
00:52:14,48 --> 00:52:15,674
We can fuck this here wench.
418
00:52:16,216 --> 00:52:18,218
-Right, a hole is a hole
419
00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:20,888
is a hole is a hole.
-[chuckles] Come here, lassie.
420
00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:23,724
I'd like to dip my stick a wee bit.
421
00:52:24,433 --> 00:52:26,769
-You're a sweet talking bastard,
aren't you?
422
00:52:27,269 --> 00:52:31,106
Well, gentlemen, what'll it be,
one at a time or all together?
423
00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:37,112
-Well, wench, your sister takes notes,
now we'll see if you can take on the lot.
424
00:52:37,446 --> 00:52:42,534
-Right, and if she can't, there's
a cat house right around the corner.
425
00:52:42,534 --> 00:52:44,286
[cackling]
426
00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:45,621
-You've got some nerve.
427
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:49,708
-That just looks like it's Christmas.
428
00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:54,380
[groaning]
429
00:52:55,297 --> 00:52:56,423
[music]
430
00:52:56,423 --> 00:53:00,344
Whoa-ho, bring us some ladies
431
00:53:00,344 --> 00:53:04,139
there's not much time until dawn.
432
00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:08,143
Bring them, let's not waste a moment
433
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:11,522
tonight is the night to have fun.
434
00:53:12,272 --> 00:53:16,235
Drink, drink, forget all our sorrows
435
00:53:16,235 --> 00:53:19,321
Who knows what the battle will bring?
436
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:24,159
Drink, drink, let's burn all our bridges.
437
00:53:24,201 --> 00:53:27,746
Let's raise us our spirits and sing.
438
00:54:32,478 --> 00:54:36,356
Whoa-ho, bring on the wenches
439
00:54:36,356 --> 00:54:39,735
bring on the rum and the ale.
440
00:54:40,569 --> 00:54:44,531
Whoa-ho, bring on the wenches
441
00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:47,993
tomorrow we fight in the Dale.
442
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:52,748
Whoa-ho, bring us some ladies
443
00:54:52,748 --> 00:54:55,918
there's not much time until dawn.
444
00:54:56,835 --> 00:55:00,380
Drink up, let's not waste a moment
445
00:55:00,380 --> 00:55:04,51
tonight is the night to have fun
446
00:55:05,10 --> 00:55:08,972
Drink, drink, forget all our sorrows
447
00:55:08,972 --> 00:55:13,18
Who knows what the battle will bring
448
00:55:13,18 --> 00:55:16,814
Drink, drink, let's burn all our bridges
449
00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:20,275
Let's raise up our spirits and sing
450
00:56:11,618 --> 00:56:16,748
[moaning]
451
00:56:25,132 --> 00:56:29,136
Oh, oh, bring all the wenches
452
00:56:29,136 --> 00:56:32,431
Bring all the rum and the ale
453
00:56:33,265 --> 00:56:37,185
Oh, oh, bring all the wenches
454
00:56:37,185 --> 00:56:40,689
Tomorrow we fight in the Dale
455
00:56:41,148 --> 00:56:45,152
Drink, drink, forget all our sorrows
456
00:56:45,152 --> 00:56:49,72
Who knows what the battle will bring
457
00:56:49,72 --> 00:56:53,76
Drink, drink, let's burn all our bridges
458
00:56:53,76 --> 00:56:55,871
Let's raise up our spirits and sing
459
00:56:55,871 --> 00:56:56,997
Ho-ho
460
00:56:56,997 --> 00:57:00,459
-George Washington,
you think you got troubles?
461
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:04,212
This poor devil was married
to a real schizo,
462
00:57:04,588 --> 00:57:06,340
degenerate bastard.
463
00:57:11,94 --> 00:57:14,473
-Martha, is there any ale in the cupboard?
464
00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:16,391
-Ale?
465
00:57:17,225 --> 00:57:18,226
Cupboard?
466
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,103
Who pray tell is Martha?
467
00:57:20,395 --> 00:57:21,396
I'm Betsy.
468
00:57:21,647 --> 00:57:23,982
Betsy Ross, the seamstress
with the mostest.
469
00:57:23,982 --> 00:57:26,234
-Oh, Martha, really?
470
00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:29,363
Do we have to go
through this Betsy Ross thing again?
471
00:57:29,821 --> 00:57:31,990
You remember what Dr. Tucker told you.
472
00:57:32,741 --> 00:57:36,954
He said, "Martha, you are not Betsy Ross.
473
00:57:37,579 --> 00:57:38,997
You're Martha Washington."
474
00:57:39,539 --> 00:57:41,333
Now, look, you've got to stop this.
475
00:57:41,333 --> 00:57:43,502
You're driving your old man fritters.
476
00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:45,128
-Dr. Tucker?
477
00:57:45,754 --> 00:57:47,47
Who be Dr. Tucker?
478
00:57:49,216 --> 00:57:50,884
-Forget it.
Forget it.
479
00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:53,720
What sow thee there?
480
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:54,972
-| sowest a flag,
481
00:57:56,139 --> 00:57:57,766
is it not beautiful?
482
00:57:58,892 --> 00:58:00,227
Do you not like it?
483
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,396
| don't know whether to wear it
or to wave it.
484
00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:08,819
-Look, let's forget about the flag,
Betsy, | mean, Martha.
485
00:58:09,903 --> 00:58:14,616
Look, I've got something else
I'd like to raise to full mast.
486
00:58:15,367 --> 00:58:17,119
-Do you never get enough?
487
00:58:18,161 --> 00:58:19,204
What about the British?
488
00:58:19,663 --> 00:58:22,207
-Screw the British,
let them get their own wenches.
489
00:58:23,41 --> 00:58:24,459
-Well, then what about Martha?
490
00:58:24,876 --> 00:58:26,86
Will she not be pissed at thee?
491
00:58:27,462 --> 00:58:29,256
-If you won't tell her, | won't.
492
00:58:30,173 --> 00:58:32,759
-God.
George, you are a clever lad.
493
00:58:33,969 --> 00:58:36,471
With all those children
running around looking like you,
494
00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:38,890
you're a cinch to be named Father
of our Country.
495
00:58:39,725 --> 00:58:42,144
-| know how to buck some lass, Betsy.
496
00:58:44,813 --> 00:58:48,859
Oh, but we must not tarry, I've got
to be down to the Delaware this evening.
497
00:58:49,443 --> 00:58:52,362
If | don't leave soon,
they won't leave a seat for me.
498
00:58:52,988 --> 00:58:53,989
-Wow.
499
00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:56,616
We should make haste then
and not waste these precious moments.
500
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:13,133
[moans]
501
00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:18,638
[music]
[moaning]
502
01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:22,702
-Let's see if we can pigeonhole that.
503
01:00:22,702 --> 01:00:29,417
[moaning]
504
01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:49,104
-ls that the way you like it?
505
01:00:49,354 --> 01:00:50,230
-Love it.
-Oh, yes.
506
01:00:50,230 --> 01:00:51,398
-Oh, yes.
507
01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:52,774
-That's what they all say.
508
01:00:57,946 --> 01:00:59,614
Talk dirty to me, Martha.
509
01:00:59,865 --> 01:01:02,617
[moans]
510
01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:05,704
Oh, Betsy.
Oh, oh, Martha.
511
01:01:05,704 --> 01:01:07,789
Oh, oh, Betsy, | mean, Martha.
512
01:01:07,789 --> 01:01:09,708
Oh, oh, Betsy.
513
01:01:10,83 --> 01:01:11,209
How the hell?
514
01:01:11,751 --> 01:01:12,752
Oh.
515
01:01:14,87 --> 01:01:16,464
[music]
516
01:01:27,934 --> 01:01:33,940
[moaning]
517
01:02:06,681 --> 01:02:09,351
-This here is my ex-wife.
518
01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:12,20
| really love that one.
519
01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:13,980
Degenerate bastard.
520
01:02:14,648 --> 01:02:17,234
Over there sits my ex-wife too,
521
01:02:18,485 --> 01:02:20,403
she died of the consumption.
522
01:02:21,696 --> 01:02:26,117
That ex-wife died when | caught her
in bed with Paul Revere.
523
01:02:26,451 --> 01:02:28,245
Degenerate bastard.
524
01:02:28,703 --> 01:02:30,538
This here is my ex-wife.
525
01:02:31,539 --> 01:02:34,542
Boy, could she--
Well, that's another story.
526
01:02:35,85 --> 01:02:36,544
Degenerate bastard.
527
01:02:37,45 --> 01:02:38,964
This here is my ex-wife.
528
01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:42,300
Oh, what | remember about her.
529
01:02:42,676 --> 01:02:44,386
Degenerate prevert.
530
01:02:44,636 --> 01:02:46,554
There's my cousin, Timmy,
531
01:02:47,555 --> 01:02:49,933
he liked small boys.
532
01:02:50,725 --> 01:02:52,269
We had to shoot him.
533
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:54,521
Degenerate bastard.
534
01:02:55,63 --> 01:02:58,566
Right over there is my brother, Tom.
535
01:02:58,984 --> 01:03:05,323
Tom broke a leg at the age of 103
leaping out of a second-story window.
536
01:03:05,532 --> 01:03:07,284
Degenerate bastard.
537
01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:14,249
[music.]
538
01:04:18,104 --> 01:04:21,316
[music]
539
01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:25,737
-Yes,
540
01:04:27,697 --> 01:04:31,284
that's the way it was, 200 years ago
541
01:04:32,827 --> 01:04:34,329
just before it
542
01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:37,665
all turned to shit.
543
01:04:40,210 --> 01:04:41,211
Yes.
544
01:04:47,133 --> 01:05:21,876
[music]
35104
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