All language subtitles for S2E9 The Thief from Outer Space

[ man narrating ]
last week, as you recall,
we left our space family...

having just
survived a terrifying
galactic meteor storm.

all were unaware
that an incredible
thief of outer space...

was soon to follow
in its wake.

hey,
look what i found.

it's just an old alien bottle.
really, children.

aren't you aware that
anything of value burns as it
passes through our atmosphere?

you'll find nothing
but rocky cinders out there.

tomorrow you'll get
a chance to prove it.
i beg your pardon?

we're going to check
for damage, all of us.

you know, will,
life was much more
exciting in the past.

and you know why?
because men were not pestered
with all this work foolishness.

your father invents one
useless job after another.

there's the mineral drill.
it checks out okay too, i guess.

you'd better do the
checking this time. my back
is extremely delicate today.

i think i shall
take a little nap.
i'll check the drill itself.

yes, do that.

dr. smith, could you
come over here...

and hold one of these
wrenches for me?

that's funny.
dr. smith,

i just put one of
the wrenches down there,
and now it's disappeared.

will you please
help me look for it?

get another one
out of the tool bag.
i must rest my back.

it's gone too.

did you take the tool bag?

now, now, will. no lunch
until we've finished work.

[ will ]
dr. smith!
[ shrieks ]

dogs! infidels!
prepare to die!

where did you come from?
who are you?

- stand aside, boy.
come, fight, you infidel.
- [ whimpering ]

stop that at once, you hear,
you dreadful man.

[ wailing ]
stop or i'll shoot!

this is a laser gun,
and it could put a hole
right through you.

it could?

well, i'll take
your word for it.

but don't you think in the
interest of fair play he should
put down his weapon too?

- certainly not!
- that's not a weapon.
that's just a shovel.

haven't you ever seen
a shovel before?

and what would i have to do
with something that so obviously
belongs to a slave?

permit me to introduce myself.

sheik ali ben bad,
terror of the cosmos.

sheik indeed. you, sir,
are nothing but a thief.
you stole our lunch!

well, of course.
i'm the one and only
thief of outer space.

have you ever had anything
stolen so beautifully before?

- don't come any closer.
- oh, come, come, lad.

you've won
the field in fair joust.
so let us be friends, huh?

good. now, what can i
give you in exchange for
those few paltry tools i took?

what would you like?
uh, diamonds? emerald?

a ruby, huh?
a ruby, yes, that's it.

a ruby.

yes, master?

seize them!
seize the dogs!

[ no audible dialogue ]

that's nothing but a wrench.
that's all it is, sir, honest.

silence!

[ gasps ]
golly.

ah, that's nothing,
boy, nothing.

wait till i give him your
bones to snap, one by one.

oh, please, sir.
we haven't done anything to you.
but yours...

he will mash into jelly.

you know, there's something
unusually repulsive
about you, sir.

i don't know what it is.

have we met
somewhere before?
oh, no.

in some jail, perhaps?
oh, no.

- no, no, no.
perhaps some thieves' market?
- no, no.

let me see your watch!
i don't have a watch.
i lost it.

where is your treasure?
where are you keeping it?

we don't have any treasures.
we're poor people.
aren't we, dr. smith?

poor?
yes, oh, yes.
miserably destitute.

sure, we're like paupers.
you understand?

and any thief who would
go robbing from paupers,
stealing from the poor--

[ yelling ]

how dare you insult my honor!

[ yells ]

there, there, boy.
i accept your apology.

now tell me.
where do the rich people live?

rich people?
come, come!

i haven't all day to spend
on this ridiculous planet!

someone here has
a treasure of great value.
where is it?

there is no treasure.
i'm afraid even our spaceship
is really not worth anything.

the what?
nothing really.

just some old wreckage
we found once.

you see, we're
all alone on this planet.

aren't we, dr. smith?
yes.

just the two of you,
no one else?

we're like castaways.
i prefer the word "pioneer."

or castaways if you'd rather.

call us anything you like,
sir, whatever you like.

but let me assure you that we
are telling you the truth. this
whole planet isn't worth that.

so please, dear sir,
wherever it is you come from,
turn around and go back home.

enough!

you! you dolt--

you. you said
the golden arrow
pointed this way.

no.
[ yells ]

no, master. no.
[ yells ]

remember me, boy.
just remember me.

he swung the sword
straight at you?

sure, like this.
and i closed my eyes and--

why didn't you
get cut or anything?

because the sword went
right between us, i guess.

i don't know how he did it.
i don't know how he made that
big slave of his appear either.

just "bam" and there he was,
big earrings and all.

that's all right, will, really.
we've heard it a dozen times.
you can tell it to me again.

i would be glad
to talk to you about it.

i need to exercise my--
silence, you babbling bumpkin.

can't you see what
the poor boy's been through?

as for you, will, do be quiet.
do you want these ladies to
think i am weaker than you?

of course if i hadn't
done all that walking
in the hot sun,

and if i had worn
my arch supports--
you'll be all right, dr. smith.

here, take this.
[ groaning ]

aw, there now.

it's your father
i'm worried about now.

i wanted to go
with him--
[ rocket landing ]

but he's told me to stay here.
yes, darling, i know.

oh, darling.
what did you find?

well, everything's safe
and secure at the drill site.
good.

why, i even found
your tools and your lunch kit
just where you left them.

that's impossible.
there must have been a trace
of something out there.

there was. i, uh, did some
old-fashioned indian tracking.

the footprints were very clear.
which way did they go?
which way?

i'm afraid the only footprints
were yours and will's.

oh.

i shouldn't have sent you
out on that job. it's much
too hot out there today.

[ chuckling ]

i bet i know how
your thief got away.
how?

on a magic carpet.
[ chuckling ]
"magic carpet."

i'm sorry, i said.
leave me alone, will ya?

well, i didn't mean
to make everybody laugh
about your old thief.

if we keep looking,
sooner or later we're bound to
find some tracks or something.

but i've helped you look,
haven't i? for hours.

and you haven't
found one clue.

so please, won't you
forget about him now
and help me fix my new swing?

"help me fix my new swing."
that's all you ever care about
is playing games.

when right now this very minute
the terror of the cosmos
may be lurking.

[ laughing ]
listen to you, will robinson.
you read too much, that's all.

it's the truth, i tell you.

[ laughing ]
i'll prove it to you.
just you wait.

no, i won't wait. i'm sick
of your old fairy tales.

i will prove it.

[ handle rattles ]

[ whooshing ]

[ wind whistling ]

dog! slave!

coming, master.

oh, there's a draft in here.
i can feel it.

yes, master.
what is it, master?

where were you?
sleeping again, i suppose?

no, master. no.

i was busy at the furnace.
liar!

didn't you feel that cold air?

how many times must i tell you?
this is an asteroid.

we sail through space
like an empty, cold rock.

don't you understand?
once let that furnace go out...

and you'll be less
than the lowest icicle.

no, master. no.

i work very hard.
i make the furnace go.

i do not sleep.
oh, go and check that draft.

somebody may have been
using the sedan chair.

an intruder?

well, how should i know?
if there is, just throw him
to the lions.

[ yelling, grunting ]

stop dawdling out there!

it is nothing, master.
nothing at all.

please, what are you
going to do to me?

you won't throw me
to the lions, will you?

[ chuckling ]

here. you stand here.

why?
stand like i say.

what for?
[ bell ringing ]

look. this rings,
you do this.

what's gonna happen?

this one. five times.

one, two, three, four, five.

[ bell ringing ]
ah, work.

this one.
yeah, i can
do this all right.

faster.
[ laughing ]

faster!
okay.

tell me,
why am i doing this?

furnace. furnace.

i heard the thief say this
was some kind of an asteroid.

but i don't even know
how i got here. there was
this thing and then stars and--

sedan chair go through space.
bring you here. it was nothing.

[ bell ringing ]
ah, good.

now wait.

uh, did i do all right?
you won't kill me now, will you?

[ laughs ]

maybe yes.

maybe no.

i tell you later.
thank you very much, sir.

but could you tell me more about
the thief and the asteroid?

silence, dog!
i tell you nothing.

i know nothing.
i am but slave.

well, that's too bad.

[ chuckling ]

but you,
[ chuckles ]

you are less
than nothing.

- [ ringing ]
- ah, work.

this one.

faster. faster.
faster.

- [ ringing ]
- faster.

five times.
five times.

- [ laughing ]
- [ buzzing ]

faster, faster.

[ bell ringing ]

work, work, work!

[ laughing ]
[ bell rings ]

[ chuckling ]

now you are the slave...
of a slave!

- [ ringing ]
- [ laughing ]

oh, my.
darling, they're lovely.

where on earth
did you find them?
not on earth.

no.
i do think they need
some water though.

yes, of course.
i'll put them
in this over here.

penny won't mind.
it's just about the right size.

there you go.
there we are. won't they
look pretty in the moonlight?

and i suppose you'd
like something to eat.

i'd never use
an ulterior motive on you.

but i'm starved to death.
[ chuckles ]

what's that all about?
i don't know.
maybe it's an eclipse.

[ john ]
looks like an asteroid.

[ don ]
i don't think so. it seems
to be orbiting this planet.

perhaps it has something
to do with that meteor shower
last night.

could it fall?
no, i don't think so.

don, you'd better
plot a track on it though.
roger.

dr. smith, would you find
will and penny for me?

i am not a nursemaid, madam.

if you wish to eat dinner
tonight, be a nursemaid.

i will go with you,
if you will talk with me.

you stay away from me,
you garrulous gargoyle.

[ yells ]
get up!

i might have known
you'd be asleep again.

most uncomfortable nap
i've had in centuries.

forgive me master,
i slept... only a moment.

the-the furnace--

- yes, where is he?
- wh-where is who, master?

the boy, of course.

you think i'm stupid just
because i'm not a crafty villain
like your former master?

no. no, master.
i was going to tell you
about the boy.

don't lie to me!

i'm hungry.
go get me some food.
yes.

i'll attend to the boy.
yes, master.

i have plans for him. go!

please, please,
don't kill me.
so here you are.

i was just tired,
and i was looking
for a place to rest.

in this room it was dark, and--

wow.

ah, that's nothing.
nothing, boy.

just a little overflow
from the treasure caves
downstairs, that's all.

little overflow?
you must be the richest man in--
in anywhere.

richest?
i'm the poorest.
what?

poor? but with diamonds
and emeralds and--

yes, yes, yes, yes.

and just a few
from each planet i pass.

you might say that here i am,
collecting the best of all
possible worlds.

just a few from
each planet? wow.
well, of course.

but has it done me any good?
take a look at that stuff.

junk, that's what it is.

aren't the emeralds real?
naturally.

but look at the golden arrow
when you hold them close.

does anything happen?
no! it's rubbish!

what's supposed to happen?

stardust, my boy.
stardust.

the treasures
i search for once belonged
to a beautiful princess...

who lived on a planet
which you've probably
never heard of.

an evil vizier stole her away.

and all that was left
was a pool of her tears...

and a trail of her gems
scattered across the heavens.

golly.

and i only have this
golden arrow to guide me.

[ humming ]
look at it!

that's what's
supposed to happen!

what's it pointing at?
well, we must be coming
into the fourth orbit.

well, yes, yes.
there we are.
it's your planet.

somewhere on your planet
is a clue, a treasure.

some part of the trail
of her i seek.

and you're gonna
help me find it.

i don't know what
you're talking about.
i don't know any princess...

or anything about her treasures.
are you going to help me,
or do i feed you to the lions?

no! i mean, yes.
i mean, let me go.

good! you made
the right decision.

no!
i hereby dub thee,

assistant thief.
[ laughing ]

ah, food.

come, now.
let's sit and eat
while we make our plans.

first rule of a thief:
eat while you think,
think while you eat.

i am hungry. but i still
don't understand what you think
might be down there.

second rule of a thief:
i'll ask the questions,
not you.

- what are you looking at?
what do you see?
- nothing exactly.

who are those people?

they're called robinsons,
i think.

on your planet?

on the place you swore
you had only one friend,
just that cowardly smith?

well, they're not
friends, exactly.

well, what are they,
your enemies?

- yeah, i guess so.
- well, why didn't you say so,
if they are?

i guess i didn't know
what to say.

well, a thief should have
enemies, lots of enemies.
it keeps you on your toes.

i'll tell you what.
after we've found
what i'm looking for,

we'll kill them all, all right?

come on.
eat now, boy. eat.

third rule of a thief:
death to all robinsons!

[ wind blowing ]

you spawn of a camel.
see to that.

oh, if he left that
sedan chair open again.

let me go! let me go!

another intruder, master.
let me go!

let me go! will!

will.

silence, dog, she-cur.
mind your tongue.

good, good!
now you're getting
the hang of it.

female camels will speak
only when spoken to.

do you understand?
uh, now,
don't overdo it though.

wait a minute.
isn't she--

isn't she one
of those people?

boy, is that a robinson?

yeah, it looks like
it might be one.

good, good.
here you go then.

now's your chance
to prove yourself.
the honor is yours.

death to all robinsons!

death to all robinsons.

no, no!

[ laughing ]
no!

[ wind whistling ]

penny?

penny?

where are you, dear?

come here, child.

don't make your dear dr. smith
come out and look for you.

hello?

hello out there.

is anyone home?
[ wind whistling ]

heavens, it's gone back.

oh, dear.

i do hope that ridiculous robot
has the sense to follow me here.

oh, the pain, the pain.

that a man of my worth
should be subject...

to the witless whimsy of
that meandering mental midget.
[ gasps ]

oh, thank heavens.

i knew you'd come after me,
my dear friend.

you are indeed a brave soldier.

a veritable transistorized
tiger, loyally following
his dear leader.

i did not come
after you, dr. smith.

how dare you!
what do you mean?

you are not my friend.
you refuse to socialize
with me.

socialize indeed, you traitor.

you come out of there
immediately, do you hear?

and destroy on sight any alien
you find on this planet.

and quickly, before the sedan
chair disappears again.

i am afraid that is impossible.

don't use that word
to me, you ninny.

come out of there this instant.

unfortunately,
in order to fit in here,

i was forced
to temporarily remove my lower
motorized tread section.

i am unable
to move out of here.

you bubble-headed booby.

why did you come here
to begin with?

merely to warn you that there
are extreme dangers up here.

i hope you survive them
and rescue will and penny.

and now, good-bye, dr. smith.

my sensors indicate that
this interdimensional
space transporter...

will be returning
to our planet in a moment.

good luck.
no, no. don't leave me.

i'm coming with you.

[ shrieking ]

[ ringing ]

[ buzzing ]

[ bell ringing ]

will robinson,
when i get you back home--
shh.

this is better than having
your head cut off, isn't it?

oh, will.
maybe you'll believe
my fairy tales now.

what's gonna happen to us?
oh, take it easy.

you see, the trouble is, the
thief thinks there's something
on our planet that he wants.

that's why he let you live,
so you could be a hostage
until he gets it.

but what?
well, a clue maybe.

like some jewelry this
princess he's looking for
might have dropped.

you know, like leaving a paper
trail when she was kidnapped
by the evil vizier.

-the what? who?
-sure. the thief's been trailing
them for over 200 years.

you see,
this evil vizier captured
the caliph's daughter...

and took her to someplace
called utopia, but nobody knows
where that is, so--

oh, will, stop it.
you're making it all up.

i mean, no, you're not.

i'm sorry.
hey, penny, don't do that.

i'll get us out of here.
honest i will.

the thief sort of trusts me now,
and i've got a plan.

so just listen to me.
will it save dr. smith too?

who?
dr. smith.

oh, no.
well, he and
the robot were with me...

when i opened the door
of that thing to look for you.

i don't know where they are now.
but i'm sure they would
have come after me.

[ thief ]
coward! dog!

i can explain everything.
[ whipcrack ]

i do the stealing around here,
no one else-- do you understand?
i was just having a look, sir.

grab him.

no, please. i meant no harm.
i just happened to be
strolling by.

what's the matter with you?

oh, never mind.
just go wake up the lions.

i'll prepare
their dinner myself.
[ yells ]

will? will?
penny.

maureen.
oh, did you find dr. smith?

no, not a trace of him.
oh, dear.

judy, any luck?
no, dad.

but it's so dark, i thought
i'd better get a flashlight.
darling, get me one too.

all right.
john, look.

have you seen
the children on the scanner?
no, no, no. up there.

coming in on its next orbit.

well, right now,
finding the children
is much more important.

but that asteroid
gets closer on every orbit.

[ wailing ]
oh, what a horrible way to go.

save me, somebody.
i'm too young to die.

oh, dear.
oh, it's getting lower.

oh, dear.
oh, please help me, somebody.

i'm your friend, sir.
and the boy's my friend.

and now he's your friend,
isn't he? well, he loves me.

the boy loves me.
but i don't.

i don't like your looks.

there's something about your
miserable, mean little eyes.
i've told you the truth, sir.

i simply don't know
of any treasures or
clues on this planet.

you're lying to me!
no, i'm not!

but if you let me live,
i'll help you, yes i will.

there's a spaceship down there,
and i'll help you steal
anything you like.

here it is, master,
the old album.
i found it.

ah, good.
[ blows ]

now i'm going to give you
your last chance to help me.

have you seen her?

is she on your planet?

is she mixed up with those
miserable robinsons?

i'm afraid i don't
recognize the face, sir.

if that's the caliph's daughter,

wouldn't she be
200 years old by now?

fetch my assistant!

and bring that
little girl here.
oh, please, great thief.

perhaps i have seen
the princess somewhere.
perhaps i'll remember.

but if you kill me,
i'll forget, won't i?

oh, please.
stop this thing, stop it!

silence!

dr. smith!
what are you doing to him?

never mind him, boy.
i want the girl to
study this picture.

i told you. there was no
old princess on our planet
or any of her treasures either.

but i bet i know what
makes the arrow wiggle.

you what?
'cause this female has a secret,
and i just found it out.

boy, remember rule 32:

a thief should always beware
of women with secrets.

but hers is just
about a map, sir,
nothing but an old map.

well, speak quickly, female.
it's my father's map, sir.

but i know so little about it.

i wouldn't have told you that
if he hadn't threatened me
with such cruel torture.

oh, really, boy.
it's a map of where we're going.

and we just stopped
where we are now,
on our way, that's all.

well, get to the point.
she knows where her father
keeps the map, sir.

it's just a little piece
of paper, but it shows how
to get to some planet called...

"the oasis of utipia"?

what did you say?
or, uh-- utopia?

- is that it?
- so wouldn't even a little clue
like that be the reason...

that the golden arrow is
pointing toward our planet?

yes! of course!

come on, children.
let's go steal that map
and find out.

what about him?
can't he go too?

would you take a sneaky old
mule on a treasure hunt?

don't be ridiculous!
come on, let's go!

oh, please, wait! help!
don't leave me here alone!

really, sir.

isn't it better
you be cut in two
while we're away?

would you want children
to see a thing like that?

oh, to be cut down
in the prime of life.

what an ignominious way
to leave this vale of tears.

oh, dear.

[ wind whistling ]

[ chair departing ]

help, somebody! rescue me!
oh, dear. oh, this is terrible.

oh, what an evil fate!
oh, dear. oh, dear.

oh, help. help.

is somebody here?
oh, dear.

oh, my.
oh, how terrible.

it is all right now.
they've gone.

oh, thank heavens.
thank you so much.
how very kind of you.

would you-- would you undo
these ropes too, please?

dear sir, why did you do this?

why do you look at me like that?

it is true.

two hundred years.

but i did not forget.
not when i saw the silks
on your shoulders.

what did you say?
two hundred years...

he would not look at your face.

nor even allow me
to look at the album
for fear of remembrance.

what are you saying?

o exalted one...

do you not remember
your dog of a slave?

the one that he stole when
you spirited away the princess.

- it is i.
- it is?

i see.
of course it is.

i knew there was something
rather familiar about your face.

would you undo
these ropes, please?
i obey.

o light of the heavens,

for 200 years
i have served this thief.

this madman
on his crazy search.

but no more.
dear slave,
would you help me up please?

my back is extremely
delicate today.
yes, master.

thank you, so much.

[ shrieks ]

let me see that thing
you've been looking at.
where is it?

from now on,
it is you i obey.

o great magnificence,

o most evil
of all evil viziers,

i am yours.

everything is yours.

everything?

oh, how lovely.

the coast is clear.
hurry it up, hurry it up.

the spaceship's
over that way, sir.

tell him, girl, not me.

do you understand
your instructions?

i think so, sir.
it's just like
the trojan horse.

yes, very good. very good.

first, you sneak him
inside the spaceship,
and then he sneaks me.

and then we steal the map,
and that's all there is to it.
we're off and away.

but i can stay here,
can't i?

of course,
you miserable creature.

who wants a female
on an asteroid?

well spoken, boy.

now here.

you're sure you know
how to use these?

yes, sir.
good, good.

well, off you go now.

farewell, female.

"female." just wait.
pretty quick we'll
trap him and then--

shh. hold it.

wait here a second.

what's wrong?
i was just thinking
about dr. smith, sir.

what about him?

oh, that knife over him
isn't even sharp.

a hostage, that's all he is.

remember rule 21:

never trust
even your best friend,
except when you hold a hostage.

yes, sir, but your slave
wouldn't throw him to the lions
by mistake, would he?

boy, i'll tell you a secret.

there hasn't been a lion
on that asteroid in years.

it's too cold for them.

i just use a recording
when i want to frighten
unwelcome visitors.

there is something else.

i know how foolish
it is to trust you.

but after searching 200 years,

i'm getting tired.

i'm running out of tricks.

and what's
the good of living anymore
if you can't trust a little boy?

so go on now.

go on and do your dirty work.

yes, sir.

will, penny.
where have you been?

mom, i know this boy
is our enemy, but i promise,
he will not hurt you.

what?
where's dr. smith?

never mind.
act like you're meeting me
for the first time.

what's he talking about?
the thief may hear us.

- the thief? what?
- don't you understand?
he may be watching.

- who? what?
- oh, daddy, let's go
inside the ship, quick.

it's a thief, dad.
i know most of his stuff
is just tricks, but--

penny, maybe
you'd better explain.

it's true about the thief,
but will's got a plan.

don, we need you.
get behind that rock.

go ahead.

here. this looks like a map.

penny,
would you mind telling me
a little bit more about this?

we can't. there isn't
enough time. watch me.

dogs! infidels!

stand back!

put down that weapon.

[ gasps ]
john.

- grab the map, boy.
- i don't know where it is.

right there in her hand,
boy. grab the map.

push him back, daddy! back!

don't just stand there, boy!

what are you waiting for?
grab the map!

- grab him, don!
- the ring, boy!

your ring, boy.

throw your ring! they--
they've got me. help me!

throw your ring!
hold his arms, his hands!
don't let him touch his rings!

- traitor!
- no, i'm not. honest, i'm not.
but i had to do something.

look, we'll give you the map.
we'll give you anything you need
to continue your search.

only first, you've gotta
bring dr. smith back
from the asteroid.

silence!

map, you say?

well, i dare you, boy.
take out the golden arrow.

it's right here in my robes.

now, i'm not sure
this is the right map of course.

go on, go on!

hold the golden arrow
to that worthless
piece of paper.

there. you see?
the arrow doesn't move.

look at it.
that's all it is,

a worthless piece of paper!

you conniving little beggar!

wait, it's moving.
it is pointing.
[ humming ]

dr. smith!

- the vizier!
- hold him. hold him.

do as i say or my slave
will destroy you all.

stand still, everyone.

professor robinson,
you've noticed
i've saved the children.

and now i've returned with
a few little gifts for us all.
liar.

he's a liar,
the most evil liar!
silence!

slave, you are hereby
awarded your freedom...

provided you dispose of
this cursed thief and
his asteroid forever.

yes, exalted one.

i will break his back
with my own hands.

i will rip off his ears.
turn him loose, professor.
this is none of our affair.

no, wait, dad.
don't do it.

you stay out of this, william.
let them destroy each other.
turn the victim loose.

now, just a minute.
let me have the thief.

give me the bones of the thief.
[ will ]
no!

stop!

[ laughing ]
your ring, boy.
throw your ring.

good heavens.
oh, dear.

no!
now, you curse of the ages.

oh, no. please, please, sir.
i can explain the whole thing.

i will slice you
into little tarts.
you wouldn't do that.

you're really a kind soul,
aren't you? oh, dear, mr. thief.

please put down that sword.
[ wailing ]

[ arrow humming ]
look. look at the arrow!

it's pointing.
it's pointing to
something right here.

[ humming continues ]

[ woman ]
who's out there?

it's coming
from this bottle.

my thief!
you've come for me
after all these years.

you've changed.
not really.

it's just that i didn't have
anything to do for 200 years,
but eat marzipan.

you don't know
how lonely i got.

nobody to talk to.

just sitting, sitting, sitting.

i've got so much to talk about.

but first, i want--
later, my jewel.
when we are alone.

but for now--

what did you do with her?
i simply transported her
back to my asteroid.

come boy, take my hand.
join me, and together
we will loot the universe.

no, thank you, sir.
i guess i'd rather be
a sultan right here.

and don't worry
about dr. smith.
i can take care of him.

of course you can.
for it is written,

"he is nothing.

he is nothing
but a smith."

farewell, infidels!

farewell, boy.

i shall miss you.

remember me.

[ whistling ]

[ judy ]
he's gone.

oh, my gems, my treasure.

it's all disappeared!
that cowardly thief.

he stole everything from me.
[ all chuckling ]

i think we'd better leave.

[ woman ]
who's out there?
who put me back in here?

whoever you are,
if you let me out,
i'll fall in love with you.

what? you will do
nothing of the kind.

what's going on out there?

stop pushing me around.

who are you? would you
like a beautiful princess
to fall in love with you?

i am a general-utility,
non-theorizing,
environmental robot.

i am not programmed
for emotional entanglements.

but i would be glad
to talk to you.

really?
well, where shall i begin?
first of all,

i've just been sitting, sitting,
sitting here, ever since--

by the way, do you have
any extra marzipan?

hold it.
this looks like a good place.

nothing.
here, let me look
for a while.

you just take down
the description.
i'll do the bird-watching.

it's not fair.
i always get the dull job.

look. i'm the man around here,
and men give the orders.

just because you tried
to shave this morning,
doesn't mean you're a man.

why, look at you.
all you managed to cut off
was a big hunk of skin.

look, i told you i was
just practicing. i didn't know
there was a blade in the razor.

well, why didn't you take
the time to look, silly?

every time i let you come along
with me, it's the same old
story, nag, nag, nag.

well, if you'd let me use
the binoculars once in a while,

the habit pattern
would be different.

"the habit pattern
would be different."
oh, listen to her.

why don't you let me use
the glasses? my eyes are
just as good as yours are.

because you exaggerate
everything, that's why.

"the neck is angular
with a gentle pink band
running around its base.

the legs are slender,
graceful with a delicate"--

sounds more like you're
describing a fashion show
than a bird specimen.

you're just jealous
because i have a better
command of words than you do.

baloney! my vocabulary of words
is just as good as yours.

it is not!
yeah.
you wanna bet?

if you'll permit me to speak,
both of you have an excellent
command of the english language.

however, if you do not
contain yourselves,

you will frighten off a specimen
which has just arrived.

[ bird chirping ]
where?
i don't see anything.

a few feet to the right
of the small tree.

[ penny ]
oh, isn't he beautiful?

all right,
now i'm ready.

we've already cataloged
that one. it's a plump-bellied
dr. smith sapsucker.

but i don't understand.
here's a golden-tailed
dr. smith wyandotte,

and a dr. smith bullfinch.

an explanation is simple.

dr. smith names all
the specimens which he
discovers after himself.

that's why i don't ask him
to come with me anymore.

otherwise, every bird
on this planet...

would have dr. smith
as part of his name.
[ whooshing ]

that spaceship--
they're throwing
something out of it.

come on, will.
we'd better get back
to the jupiter 2.

[ will ]
it's luggage!
trunks and suitcases!

warning! warning! warning!
approaching danger!

[ screams ]

will, look out!