All language subtitles for S2E7 The Android Machine

[ man narrating ] last week,
as you recall, we left dr. smith
peacefully dozing...

while on a field trip
with will, penny and the robot.

all were unaware
that nearby lay a machine
capable of producing...

incredible metallic creatures
from another world.

i'm innocent.

the plants on this planet
do not follow...

the earth method
of transpiration--

utilizing carbon dioxide
and releasing oxygen.

this plant, for instance,
is similar to the cactus
of earth.

however,
it needs absolutely
no moisture at all.

and where did you acquire
this useless information,
you tiresome thesaurus?

the instructor is not to be
interrupted during lectures.

instructor indeed.

how you could have been selected
to educate young minds when i am
available is beyond me.

he's right, dr. smith.
you're not supposed to talk
while he's teaching.

very well.
then i shall occupy my mind
with more gainful pursuits.

but remember, when you grow up
in absolute ignorance,
don't blame me.

remember!

[ electronic
warbling ]

where'd
dr. smith go?
search me.

i'll go find him.

[ electronic warbling ]

well.

what are you doing,
dr. smith?

experimenting,
my dear.

[ electronic warbling ]

this machine appears to be
an instant painting device,
a galactic art form.

- that's weird.
- quite so.

but i can remedy that.

[ electronic warbling ]

what happens
when you get it
like you want it?

when the picture is complete,
you press a button
and it prints it for you.

this must be the one.
[ robot ]
warning! warning!

alien transpositive
generating machine.

do not touch it!
it is dangerous!

do not--
silence,
you gregarious gremlin!

this must be the one.
now, here we go.

[ electronic warbling ]
[ thunder ]

warning!

[ thunder continues ]

what is it?

[ dr. smith ]
i don't know.

uh, dr. smith,
maybe you better
check it out.

i?

yes, of course. i.

well, what is it?
report.
it does not compute.

what do you mean
it doesn't compute, you ninny?

it is an android manufactured
with electrical circuits.

but there is an element
which does not compute.

she isn't going to hurt us,
dr. smith.

does it open?

open?
well, i don't know.

[ gasps ]
oh!

uh, we are
the robinsons.

i'm penny.
do you have a name?

uh, can you talk?

yes, i can talk.

my name is verda.

where did you come from?

i was ordered.

what do you mean?
who ordered you?

dr. smith.

indeed i did not!
and how do you know my name?

you ordered me
from the machine.

i am tuned to
your psychic frequency.

i am yours.
certainly not!

i did not order you,
you unearthly creature!

go back where you came from!

you have ordered me.

i cannot go back.

i am yours...
forever.

oh, the pain.
the pain.

no! stay away from me, madam.
stay away from me!

[ whirring ]

he said an android?
yes.

dr. smith ordered it from
the alien transfer machine
by mistake. you have to see it!

he was told never to
touch alien equipment.
yeah, well, you know smith.

we'll take care
of him later.
what else?

yes. mother wants to know
if you'd like to have dinner
brought up here--

that is if you'll
be working late.

no. i think we've mined
our quota of deutronium
for the day.

oh, yes. there is one thing.
i don't want anyone else
coming up here.

- oh? why?
- come with me. i'll show you.

have you ever seen
anything like that before?

hmm. it lives
in there?
we think so.

we haven't seen it,
but, uh, my guess
is that it's nocturnal.

we just haven't
had a chance to
hunt it down.

and as long as
it doesn't bother us,
we're not gonna bother it.

now, remember,
tell everybody this place
is strictly off limits.

we'll put up some signs
as a reminder.
i'll tell them.

well, how much
have we got so far?

about three canisters,
but the vein's beginning
to run out.

let's hope it gives us five
before it decides to quit.

that'll give us enough fuel
for a blastoff.
that old magic number 5 again.

listen, set that drill
on automatic, give me
a hand with these signs.

you worried about the android?
well, i think i better
take a look at her.

okay.

i was manufactured
by unit 12,
r.d.s. remote unit.

what does
that mean?
i don't know.

what civilization
invented you?
the andromedan.

and for
what purpose?
to serve my master,

the one
who ordered me.

dr. smith?
yes.

may i be excused now?
i promised to prepare
a footbath for dr. smith.

yes.

you know, she's
really quite pleasant
to have around.

she has sort of
a strange appearance,
but--

oh, a little makeup
ought to take care of that.
probably.

you know, john, she's
really awfully good
with the children.

that's all well and good,
but she keeps using that word
"ordered."

"dr. smith ordered me."

that might imply that someone's
gonna come around here
demanding payment.

well, maybe it's just
her way of speaking.
well, possibly.

for the time being,
i suppose she can stay here.
i don't think she's dangerous.

♪ [ humming ]

ohhh!
you've made it too cold.

oh, that is easily adjusted.
my left hand functions
as a heating element.

my right hand
is a freezing coil.

spare me the scientific
lectures, madam.
just warm it up.

[ electrical hum ]

mm. mm. mmm.

that's lovely.
mmm. that's lovely.

ohhh! stop it at once,
you ridiculous creature!

you're scalding me!
[ huffs ]

ooh. there.
that's better.

-what is that object?
-it's a flower, you silly thing.

now you can remove your hand,
it's quite cool enough.

a flower?
we have no such object
on our planet.

will you kindly
remove your freezing element?
i'm not an eskimo, you know!

it has great beauty
of structure.

i order you to
stop this at once,
do you hear?

stop!

ohhh, dear.

madam, you don't know
your right hand from your left.

away from me, madam.
away!

will you stay away from me,
you albatross?

and so, financed by
queen isabella of spain,

columbus set sail
across the uncharted ocean,

and in the year 1492,
landed on a small island,

and thereby america
was discovered.

yes?
at last i've
caught you in an error,

you pedagogical
pip-squeak.

you finally slipped a cog,
have you?

america was discovered
in 1493, not 1492.

- dr. smith, he's--
- you stay out of this,
my dear child.

it's time your young mind
was protected...

from the misinformation
spewed by this ignominious
ignoramus.

check your recall circuits.
verify.

my information
is correct.
indeed.

after a blunder like that,
i'm afraid i shall have to
rewire you.

- dr. smith--
- don't try to
protect him, will.

it must be done.
rewiring is unnecessary.
my information is correct.

nonsense!

"in 1493, columbus sailed
the deep blue sea!" remember?

that is an incorrect
quotation.

"in 1492, columbus
sailed the ocean blue."

[ dr. smith ]
you dare to contradict me?

you are wrong. i propose
checking the information.

i propose a wager.
a wager?

affirmative. if you are right,
you may rewire me.

if i am right,
you will sit in the class
and keep quiet.

it will be a pleasure,
you jangling junk heap.

and whom do you propose
as arbiter?

the android.

very well.

does your programming
include earth history, my dear?

my programming
includes all history.

splendid. now, before
i put the question to you,

i must establish
your position.

who ordered you
from the machine?

that's not fair,
dr. smith.

it's merely clarification,
my dear boy. sit down.

who ordered you?
you did.

yes. remember that.
now then,

when did christopher columbus
discover america?

fourteen hundred
and ninety-two.

would you repeat that?

october 12, 1492.

perfidious creature.
you forget who brought you here?

i am programmed to serve you.
i am not programmed to lie.

bah!

proceed.

you are a very
interesting mechanism.

thank you.

you are equipped with
a model 56 tauron computer,
are you not?

my computer
is the best on earth,
analog and digital.

that's too bad.

but at least you're programmed
for intergalactic history,
are you not?

well, no, but--

andromedan geometry?
the calculus of orion?

the antigravity theory
of gimus?

i can lift very heavy things.

i'm sure you can.

and i think
you do quite well
for one so primitive.

but don't you think a teacher
of children should have a more
well-rounded education?

huh!

we shall begin
by the exploration
of the universe--

the first creature to
leave his home...

and explore
the uncharted skies.

an adventure that parallels
the voyage of your columbus,

but instead of ocean,
he was faced with this:

his name was formale,

which in the language of his own
small planet means "explorer."

and he lived here,
on the fifth planet of orion.

in the 6,000th year
of his planet's history,

he developed a spacecraft...

which everyone said
would never escape the pull
of his own small planet,

that he would be eaten
by the monsters in space
and surely die.

but in formale's heart,
he knew they were wrong,

and in the autumn
of their year,

he activated his craft
and took off.

in setting out
on his giant adventure,

he was not as fortunate
as your columbus.

mother.

yes, dear?

[ no audible dialogue ]

what's she doing?
she's teaching them
the history of the universe.

oh, yes.

don't you think
they should learn
about the earth first?

no, judy. i think
perhaps she's right.

the earth is a small place
and very far away.

this is the world
in which the children
are growing up.

perhaps they should learn
about this place first.

new world indeed.
the presumption
of the creature,

not only to
question my judgment,

but to usurp a position
which does not belong to her.

she embarrassed me.
she took my pointer.

indeed she did. for once,
my bosom companion, i find
that we can agree on something.

i can hardly wait
until we have enough fuel
to take off from here...

and leave that mechanized
maid-servant behind.

my computers indicate
the probability that they will
refuse to leave her behind.

they wouldn't!
they might.

they would.
and that will take more fuel.

there's no question about it.
we must dispose of the creature.

- what is your plan?
- it's quite elementary.

this machine brought her here.
it can also take her back.

give me a reading
of its circuits.

the circuits do not scan.
what do you mean
they don't scan?

its circuits are beyond
my technical capabilities.

oh, you are a silly goose.
i see that i shall have to
take care of this myself.

warning! to touch
the red button, you will
materialize the creature.

go quickly!
turn the machine off.

ohhh! that was indeed
a close call.

i see that we shall have to make
a deeper study of this machine
before we try that again.

however,
it does give me an idea.

what kind of idea?

silence,
you bellicose bumpkin!

come along
and i'll show you.

warning! warning!
that sign says
"danger area."

pay no attention
to that sign,
you nervous ninny.

you don't suppose they'd be
mining in this area if there
was any real danger, do you?

of course not.
they're merely grandstanding.

using the presence
of what is probably
an oversized groundhog...

to emphasize
their bravery indeed.

what are you doing?
i'm looking for
unusual plants.

ah! here we are.

one, two and three.
lovely.

i recommend waiting
until full daylight.

don't try my patience,
you cackling cuckoo.

now, let me see.
i think i shall place
the first one here.

yes. and the second here,
closer to the cave entrance.

why are you moving
the plants around?

if you had any perception
at all, you would realize...

that the android
is obviously not going
to leave us voluntarily.

we must show her that she
has not come to a paradise.

in other words,
we must frighten her.

frighten her?
yes, indeed.

now, let me see.
i'm sure she will take
the children on a nature walk.

she will find the first plant
and then see this pretty thing,
the second.

and i shall place the third
in the cave entrance itself.

there. a classic approach
to the problem
if i do say so myself.

she will see
this lovely flower...

and knowing that
the children are not
permitted into the cave--

danger! danger!

danger! danger!
danger!
[ growling ]

aaah!

danger! danger! danger!

[ growling ]
danger!

danger! danger!

[ gasps ]
ohhh. did you kill him?

the creature might return
at any minute.

oh, it was horrible.
horrible.
yes.

it's a good thing i had
the presence of mind to freeze,

otherwise that dreadful creature
would certainly have devoured me
on the spot.

- are you all right?
- of course i'm all right.
help me up.

ohhh.
can you walk?

spare me
the insulting innuendoes,
you floundering flunky.

my recuperative powers
are extraordinary.

after a good night's sleep,
i shall be as fit as a fiddle.

if you can walk,
i suggest we do so.

the creature might return
at any minute.

of course i can walk.

ohhh.

you pushed me.

would either one of you
care for some more mushrooms?
mm-mmm. thank you.

no, we've gotta get back
to the drill site.

say, where are
the children?
they're gonna be a little late.

they're, uh,
preparing a surprise.

only surprise i'm interested
in is the one smith's
gonna get...

when he finds out
he missed breakfast.

did i hear my name
being bandied about idly?
that you did, smith.

ohhh. why, dr. smith, do you
feel all right this morning?
you look a little pale.

bless you for your concern,
dear lady.

you see, i had
a very restless night.

my mind was so filled...

with how i could better
serve my fellow castaways
that i couldn't sleep.

in that case, you better
skip breakfast and catch up
on your sleep.

i have never been the one
to shirk when duty calls.

oh, mushrooms. lovely.
would you pass the eggs,
please?

well, we'll see you later.
bye-bye.

have a good day.
mm-hmm.

now, then, uh,
where is my creation
this morning?

- your creation?
- verda.

oh. she's inside.

the children are
attempting to put her
through a transformation.

mm. transformation indeed.

she can only go
from dismal to disaster.

how does it look?
fine. just fine.

it is unwise to alter
my specifications.

we're not altering
your specifications,

we're just
dressing them up
a little.

will my master
be appreciative?

your master?
dr. smith.

oh, i'm not sure he'll
ever be appreciative
of anyone,

but i think
you look nice.

look nice?
haven't you ever
seen yourself?

the appearance
is not important.

it is the programming
which counts.

this is a mirror.

you can see the reflection
of yourself in it-- that way
you know how you look.

that is my exterior?

[ chuckles ]
that's a nice way of putting it.
yes, that's how you look.

if it were not known
that i am an android,

i might be taken
for one of you.

you are one of us,
verda.

in appearance only.

i was manufactured
by unit 12,
r.d.s. remote unit.

my value is 100 thalastros.

uh, let's go
show the others.
do you mind?

i have been created
to be useful.

splendid repast,
madam. bravo!

and now you must excuse me.
my hydraulic experiment
awaits.

good morning.
good morning.

why, verda,
how nice you look.

it is not my function
to look nice.

of course
it isn't your function.
you are an android, after all.

oh, dr. smith, please.
verda, won't you sit down
and have some breakfast with us?

androids do not eat,
my dear lady.
they merely take on fuel.

now, verda, i wish to
have a little talk with you
concerning your future.

that way,
my dear.

you know, she doesn't
look any different
at all to me.

well, we tried, mother.

get thee hence,
you ponderous plumber.

give it here.

i thought we should have
this little discussion,
my dear,

considering the fact
that i feel responsible
for your welfare.

what are you doing?

i'm designing an incredible
new hydraulic system...

whereby pure water can be
extracted from solid rock.

uh, but you needn't
concern yourself with that.

i wish to discuss your future
with you.

my future?
yes.

unfortunately, verda, you have
come onto a hostile planet,

a very threatening atmosphere,
to be precise.

for your own safety,
i must insist...

that you make arrangements
to return from whence you came.

you, uh, are programmed
to feel fear, are you not?

i have
a self-preservation circuit,
if that's what you mean.

apparently, that circuit
isn't functioning properly.

now, since you've taken
over the duties of teacher
in our little community,

you will undoubtedly be taking
the children on a nature walk,
will you not?

to acquaint them with the flora
and the fauna of this planet?
yes.

then you will surely encounter
one of the many loathsome
creatures which abound here.

and i'm afraid, my dear,
that you're simply not equipped
to cope with them. no.

i must insist that you
go back to wherever it is
you came from.

i have the solution
for your water problem,
dr. smith.

you do?

[ beeping ]

you've done it again, madam.

[ robot laughing ]

come along, you ninny!

hmm.

i wonder what would happen
if i pressed two buttons
at once.

i do not know.

nothing ventured,
nothing gained,
i always say.

we've struck gold.
indeed we have.

have you found a way
to return the android?

that can wait,
you foolish fop.

i've just realized
that this is a galactic
mail-order machine.

by pressing the proper
combination of buttons,

i can have anything
i want in the universe.
without payment?

i'll think about that later.

for the nonce,
i shall contemplate
a new wardrobe.

sartorial elegance has always
been one of my strong points.

this is interesting.
it's very interesting.

oh, how beautiful.

uh, we don't see anything,
miss verda.

i forget your eyes do not
have the power to magnify.

[ electrical hum ]

that's great.
are you a magician?

no.

[ will chuckles ]
what is your face doing?

he's laughing.

laughing?

now i must put it back
as it was.

[ electrical hum ]

to keep the beauty of nature,
one must never change it.

do all humans laugh?

at one time
or another.

why do they laugh?
because they think
something's funny.

or for no reason at all.
just because they're happy.

happy?
[ will ] you mean you don't
know what that means?

no.

it's the way you feel inside...

when you like yourself
and the world around you.

or when you're with someone
you like very much.

then i am happy.

which muscles do you move
in order to laugh?

gosh.
i don't know.
it just pops out.

pull, you ninny! pull!
put your back into it!

it is impossible.
the hat cannot be removed.

[ sighs ]
[ laughter ]

will you stop that laughing
this instant?

[ laughing ]
[ laughing ]

will you stop laughing?

are you going to
a masquerade party,
dr. smith?

certainly not, missy.

you, madam, can you
operate this machine?
no.

can you tell me
how to get my clothes back?

i know nothing
of the machine.

ohhh, fiddle-di-fie.

uh, verda, i suggest you
get on with your nature walk...

and take that path
over there.

but that's
off-limits to us,
dr. smith.

nonsense, my boy.
you have a governess after all,

an android with apparently
unlimited powers in most areas.

and you'll find
some lovely flowers
on that path.

are you sure
it's all right?
yes, it's all right.

have a nice walk!

but dr. smith--
shh.

they will be in extreme danger.
i will go with them.

you will do
nothing of the sort.
but--

but me no buts, simple simon.
that's an order.

what a ridiculous
position to be in.

i need you
to help me work
this machine.

i cannot and i will not spend
the rest of my existence clad
in this ridiculous rigamarole!

[ grunting ]

[ yelps ]
ohhh!

feel the petals. i've made
a study of these things
that they call flowers.

they feel like velvet.

they need no food or water.
they live on air alone.

i think we'd
better get back,
miss verda.

soon.
we're safe here.

dad says there's a creature
that lives in that cave.

come. there's
one last flower
we must see.

[ penny ] please don't go
any closer, miss verda.

[ growling ]

[ growling continues ]

run, children. run!

daddy! don!

the monster's
got miss verda, dad.

let's go.

[ growling ]

verda, get back!

verda,
are you all right?
yes.

i thought the monster
had us for sure.

but she put herself
in front of him
and drew his attention.

you tried to
save the children.

i don't understand.

i'm programmed
for practical functions only.

programmed to save my mechanism
in case of emergency, but--

why was i willing
to sacrifice myself?

i don't know,
but i'm grateful
for what you did.

didn't you know
this place was off-limits?

dr. smith said
it'd be all right.

are you
really all right?

none of my circuits
are damaged.

my power pack
is functioning properly.

i--

yes, i'm all right.
thank you very much.

[ blowing ]

well, have you
found anything yet,
you defective detective,

or am i to remain in this
molting costume forever?

from scanning known components,
a sequestrial theory emerges.

if two buttons
provide merchandise,

perhaps by pressing
three buttons at the same time,

merchandise may be removed.

it might be worth a try.

obviously,
i have nothing to lose.

[ robotic voice ]
your complaint
has been received.

stand by. stand by.

[ whimpers ]

[ engines whirring ]
what have you gotten
me into now?

warning!
alien spacecraft approaching!

what? aaah!
[ thunder ]

warning!
alien spacecraft landing.

4,823rd level,
three millionth galaxy.

shh. i know, i know.

use the code.
it gets better results.

[ pop pop ]
[ pop pop ]

- zumdish is the name.
- zumdish? what an odd name.

[ chuckles ]

[ chuckles ]
[ clears throat ]

[ clears throat ]
complaint manager...

for the celestial
department stores,
area 17.

you called for me?

this mechanical meddler did it.
he insisted upon touching the
machine. i warned him not to.

is that the material
in question?

well, i see nothing
wrong with it.

you made a wise choice,
if i must say so myself.

the fit is perfect.

the, uh, eternal fabric
will last forever.

you call this attractive?
i think it's in execrable taste,
far from stylish!

we stand behind
our merchandise 100%, sir.

if you're displeased--
i am.

i would prefer to
have my own clothes back,
please.

very well.

this is one of the older
vending machines.

definitely outmoded.
but it should do the trick.

oh. thank you, sir.

mr. zumdish,
now that you're here,

i should like to register
another complaint,

a matter i would like
handled immediately.

and what is that?

sometime ago,
i ordered an android.

a most peculiar creature
appeared with silver skin.

oh, yes, yes, yes.
the verda model, 10165-a.

you know about her?

of course.
as a matter of fact,

when the credit department
heard i was coming here,

they asked me
to bring the bill along.

payment is due,
you know?

and collections are rather
difficult from this planet.

- did you say a bill?
- i have it right here.

no.
so many errands.

wrong planet.

here it is.

ordinarily, this model
sells for 100 thalastros,

but this week only,
she has been reduced
to 89.95.

now, if you prefer,
you can pay one third down
and the rest in--

i do not propose
to pay for her at all.

you must be aware, sir,

sales merchandise
cannot be returned.

we like to be liberal
with our customers,
but, uh--

i have no intention of
paying you one red cent...

or whatever your currency
happens to be.

that is very unfortunate, sir.

very unfortunate indeed.

[ pop ]

[ gasps ]

[ gasps ]

- what are you doing?
- arresting you.

ordering
without intending to pay.

ohhh. shame on you.

shame on you.

that is worse than shoplifting.

tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.

mr. zumdish,
i leave it to you.

she's definitely defective.
you see, i ordered her
to my specifications,

and then she deserted me
for the children.

she took my pointer.
uh, she took his pointer.

primitive.

well, if she is defective,
that could make a difference.

where is she now?
i'll take you to her.
you'll see that i'm right.

i do hope that i'm not going to
have to be harsh with you.

it upsets my whole day,
having to be harsh.

i wouldn't dream
of upsetting your day.
thank you.

this way, sir.
after you.

no, sir, after you.
thank you.

pointer indeed!
come along, you clod.

and that's four.
and you only need one more.

that's right. one more
and we're on our way
to alpha centauri.

i better get back
to the drill site.
all right.

well, tell judy and will
to get home before dark,
would you?

[ pop pop pop ]

tell penny and verda
to stay in the ship.

what are you up to now,
smith?

these gentlemen
have come for verda.

who are you?
my name is zumdish.

i want no trouble
with you, sir,

but i represent the firm
which created the android...

and i must insist
on inspecting her.

will you bring her out here,
please?

no. if you wish to see verda,
you'll have to go inside.

the guard will remain
where he is.

in a show of force, sir,
you certainly would be
the loser. [ pop ]

your lasers would be
quite ineffective against
my security guards...

and as for your robot--
[ chuckles ]

we melted down
all our robots
similar to him...

over a century ago.

nevertheless, my terms stand.

you see her alone
or you don't see her at all.

very well.
[ pop pop pop ]

[ pop ]

melted down. indeed!

stand still! ffft!

[ scoffs ]
[ dr. smith ]
you see?

she's definitely
inferior merchandise.
absolutely worthless.

all right, smith. wait outside.
just examine her carefully,
my dear sir.

you'll see
that i'm right.

i'm afraid he's right.

shoddy. shoddy, shoddy.

i want to apologize
to dr. smith. we will
definitely take her back.

what will you
do with her?

she will be sent to
the salvage department,
i imagine.

perhaps some of
her circuits might be
useful in the new models.

no, you can't take her!
i won't let you!

penny, go to your cabin.

oh, please
don't let them take her.

please.
penny.

go ahead,
dear.

there is no use prolonging this.
i'll take her now.

no. you leave her here.

and we'll talk this over
and let you know
what we decide to do.

you are in no position
to dictate any terms.

with one wave of my hand,

i can have this ship
disintegrated.

you might, but, uh,
we're still going to
discuss it.

tsk. very well.

i'll give you five minutes--
not one second more.

at the end of that time,
you will deliver the android
to me...

or be...

destroyed.

destroyed.

[ chuckling ]

mm.
john, do you really believe that
he can destroy the spaceship?

well,
it's quite possible.
then what are you going to do?

i don't know.
i honestly don't know.

[ sighs ]
so, that's basically
the situation.

if verda goes back with him,
she'll be destroyed.

and we've got just five minutes
to come up with an alternate
solution.

i say let them have her.
one more word outta you,
smith.

one more word--
no, don.
let him finish.

as i see it,
we don't have any choice.

after all, they do own her,
and we don't have the money
they require for her purchase.

let them take her back.

i know we don't have the money,
but, well, maybe we could
trade something for her.

well, it's a possibility.
you have something in mind?

well, deutronium's
a universal currency...
i think.

i mean,
everybody uses it.

you would trade away
our fuel?

oh, give them
the deutronium,
daddy. please!

yes. we must.
we don't even know
if they'll take it.

you know, i think before
we decide on this, we'd better
understand what we're doing.

now, we're within one canister
of having enough to blast off
this planet.

if zumdish accepts our fuel,
we may never leave here.

have you all taken leave
of your senses?

shall we be deprived of the one
thing which has kept us alive
just for the sake of a machine?

that's all she is,
you know-- just a machine,
not a human being.

i'm not so sure about that.
look.

- why don't we take a vote?
- all those in favor of
trading our fuel for verda,

raise their hands.

bah!

you traitor!

madness!
absolute madness!

penny, take verda
to your cabin.

come, verda.

i want to thank you.

i want to thank you all.

well, it may be premature.
zumdish may not want to trade.

your time is up.

mr. zumdish,
we've decided to keep her.

now, we don't have any money,
but, uh, maybe we could
effect a trade.

a trade for inferior merchandise
like that?

ah, we like her as she is.

very well.
what did you have in mind?

deutronium. you do use it
on your planet don't you?
yes.

all right. i'll trade you
one canister for her.

your refining methods
are very crude.

this would have to be
refined 100 times before
we could even use it.

all right.
two canisters.

perhaps something
could be worked out.

- deal?
- deal.

john, penny and verda
are gone.

gone?
yes. they must've
gone out the escape hatch.

penny was so afraid
that they'd take verda away.

are you trying to trick me?
no tricks.

if we don't find them
before dark, i don't know
what'll happen to them.

don!
[ pop ]

my security guard
is designed
to track androids.

[ pop pop ]

take the deutronium inside
and close the hatch.

any sign of them?
no, not a track.

never fear. my man
will send up a signal
when he finds her.

better not harm
penny or verda,
zumdish.

my guard's not programmed
to fight unless he's attacked.

we'll hide here.

why are you
doing this for me?

i wasn't sure
daddy could trade for you,
and i won't let them take you.

the security guard
will find me.
maybe not.

but if he does,
we'll run again.

are all humans like you
and your family?

yes, i'd say so.
just about.

then i think it would be
very nice to be human.

[ breathing
heavily ]

you must not attack them.
i won't let them take you.

[ wheezing ]

can't you do something?

my prime directive as
a machine is not programmed
for aggressive action.

but you're not
just a machine!
you're not!

stay here.
where are you going?

stay here.
i'm going to try.

stop!

she attacked my man.
penny, where are you?

here, daddy.
i'm all right.

you won't let them take her,
will you?

[ john ]
no. it's gonna be
all right, honey.

you were programmed never
to attack a security guard.

i do many things now
i was never programmed for.

and you're not going to
take their fuel for me,
do you hear?

you will take me back with you.
i don't want to stay any longer.

a bargain's a bargain,
zumdish. can't you see
what she's doing?

i can see what she's doing,
all right. she's lying.

willing to sacrifice herself.
it does not seem possible.
not at all.

this model was never programmed
for self-sacrifice.

nevertheless,
we have a bargain.

there is no bargain made.
no, no, no, no.
there simply could not be.

i don't know how it happened.

what i thought is a model 101
is not the 101 at all.

zumdish, what are you
talking about?

a miraculous transformation
has taken place.

this is a-- the special
deluxe android model 77-b.

oh, there's not enough of value
on this planet to trade for her!

- then you're not gonna
take her to the scrap heap?
- oh, my goodness, no.

she's close to human now,
with qualities that are much
in demand in this universe.

she was willing to sacrifice
herself in the name of love,

and that's
a rare thing indeed.

verda, do you wanna
go with him?

i'd love to be able
to stay with you,

but you're going to be
leaving soon anyway.

there are many places
where i'm needed more.

- must you go?
- i'm afraid i must.

but we'll still
have time together
before i leave.

[ sighs ]

why so glum?
verda's gonna be all right,
and we've got our fuel.

ah, it's not that.
what is it?

well, i can't decide
whether to have smith
drawn-and-quartered...

or simply
boiled in oil.

[ chuckles ]
you know, i think it'd be
interesting either way.

[ chuckles ]
that it might.

come along. pull, pull.
put some spirit into it.

ohhh.
i'm completely done in.

energy cell exhausted.
i can pull no more.

calm yourself.
this will do nicely.

it's a veritable gold mine,
my dear boy. fortune is ours.

you must take it back.
it does not belong to you.

never fear, smith is here.

i'm only borrowing it,
and mr. zumdish should be
delighted.

- i intend to make him
a very rich man.
- how?

by ordering
some more verdas,
of course.

training them
as i did the first one.

giving them... polish,
so to speak.

now let me see.
if they're worth a hundred
when they arrive here,

and i can increase
their value to a thousand--

yes, that's
a reasonable price--

that would represent
a profit of 900 on each.

splendid.

i should like to
see mr. zumdish's face
when he learns of my plans.

oh, isn't it lovely?

the first time i've ever
lost one of my machines.

it was smith again.
i'll bet money on it.

don't worry, mr. zumdish.
we'll get your machine back
for you.

oh, i'm not worried
about getting it back.

it's just that i have never
had one stolen before.

look! it's dr. smith.
is he all right?

yes, indeed.
you have but to push any
of the buttons to free him.

if you want to keep him,
i would suggest that you
do it right away,

there's always a chance
that he might be ordered
from a different planet...

where i have a machine
like this.

now, we must
be getting back.

i must be at the store
before closing time.

come on. cheer up.

you can come
and visit me one day.

i'll be doing
the most important work
a machine can do.

but i'll never forget you.
i love you both.

love. ha!

good-bye,
verda.

verda.
good-bye.

[ claps hands ]
ffft!

if you would care
to leave dr. smith
in the machine,

i think i can get you
a fair price for him.

[ zumdish chuckles ]

[ chuckles, pops ]

you know, for two cents,
i'd take zumdish's advice.
but then again,

i'd never have the pleasure of
watching you try to get out of
work again, would i, doctor?

oh, well.

oh! hello.

i must've dozed off
for a moment.

i had the strangest dream.

i dreamt i was a piece
of merchandise...

in some galactic
department store.

oh, sure, smith.
in the bargain basement.

fiddle-di-fie, major.
your barbs will never harm me!
indeed!

[ laughing ]

here are the other tools,
dr. smith.
ah, splendid.

cutters.

cutters.

[ grunts ]
there! finished.

william, our operation
is a smashing success.

the operation is a success,

but, unfortunately,
the patient is dead.

nonsense, ninny.
this weather station is
completely operational.

you failed to secure
the wires of the sensitizer.

maybe you'd better check
the wiring again, dr. smith.
just in case.

nonsense, my boy.
it's in absolutely
perfect order!

now, pick up the tools.

hello, son.
oh, hi, dad.

well, how's it going,
smith?

do you wish to answer
the question, dr. smith,
or shall i?

hold your tongue, sir.

ah, professor. finished.
a push of the switch is
all that is necessary.

very good.
then you shall
have the honor...

of connecting
the relay station
to jupiter 2.

splendid!

observe.

aaah!

[ whimpers ]

obviously a faulty relay.

attention! attention!
alien approaching!

he's a veritable giant.

he doesn't seem hostile.
let's find out
what he's doing here.

we've had experience with
these strange space creatures
before, you know.

i'm john robinson
from the planet earth.

he probably
doesn't understand us.

i'll offer him my hand.
that's a universally
understood gesture.

oh, it's
an excellent idea.

- friend.
- yes. i'm a friend too.

dad!

- dad, look out!
- [ dr. smith yelps ]