Original subtitles

OK, class.

Since you never

pay attention to me,

- I figured out a way - to make you listen...

By using a microphone.

Unfortunately,

the only one they had

is connected

to this karaoke machine.

I've got a song loaded up.

Ooh, I love karaoke.

- Let me try.

- [music starts to play]

♪ I've graded your molecular

theory assignments ♪

♪ What a disappointment ♪

♪ You're all gettin' "F" s ♪

I don't like this song.

Let's do

"Don't Go Breaking My Heart."

You do the girl part.

[hissing nearby]

I don't like his singing either,

but you don't have to hiss.

Actually, I find

his singing delightful.

That hiss was just

the sound of my panini-maker.

[hissing]

- [music rises]

- ♪ No eating in class ♪

♪ Unless you brought enough

for everyone ♪

♪ I really mean it ♪

♪ Doo-doo doo-doo, did you? ♪

I did!

[Derby] None for me.

- I don't want to get - any crumbs on the sheets.

[bed whirring]

♪ Derby! ♪

♪ Why do you have a bed

in my classroom? ♪

♪ Shoobie-doobie-doo ♪

This, my friend, is not a bed.

This is a lifestyle.

- My grandma would love - one of those.

I'd take a picture of it,

- but I'm charging - my camera right now.

And my phone, tablet,

computer, video camera.

And my spy pen!

I mean, my totally normal pen.

♪ OK, time

for today's lesson ♪

♪ On energy consumption ♪

- ♪ Which I think - you'll find exciting ♪

- ♪ Thanks to - this smoke machine ♪

♪ And disco lights ♪

Oh, great.

Mr. Young caused a blackout.

Me? I'm not the one

using adjustable beds

and panini-makers

and totally normal pens.

No one is, thanks to you.

How am I supposed to eat

a cold roast beef sandwich?

It tastes...

pretty good, actually!

Maybe we don't need

electricity.

- [Derby, muffled] - Speak for yourself.

♪ Goodbye, summer

hello, fall ♪

♪ We've been trying

to get here ♪

♪ Since we both

were barely two feet tall ♪

♪ Who you calling kid?

Who you calling kid? ♪

♪ Who you calling kid? ♪

- ♪ You can call me - what you want ♪

♪ But I won't hear a word

where I am here ♪

♪ Who you calling kid? ♪

- [Derby, muffled] I just hope - the power comes back on

- Before Slab - mistakes me for a panini.

You do look like a panini.

[Tater] Uh-oh!

But I don't have any money!

Hah! It was Tater's fault.

- He obviously didn't - pay the electric bill,

- So they sent this bill collector - to rough him up.

What? No.

- I was just playing - cops and robbers

With my friend...

bill... collector.

My turn to be the robber!

Give me all your money!

[Derby] Nice try, Mr. Tater.

Just pay the man.

I paid the bill.

The power's out because...

you kids have become

- much too dependent - on technology.

- So, I've decided - today will be...

Finnegan High

old-timey-times day.

But today's already

- maggot-in-your- - meatloaf day.

We'll all learn to live

without modern conveniences,

like electricity

and running water.

Another bill I did not

forget to pay.

I'll hang on to your...

calculators and walkie-talkies

until the end of the day.

This is ridiculous.

- Why don't you just admit - you forgot to pay the bill?

Why don't you just admit

you're not tough enough

to survive old-timey...

what did I call it?

He has a point.

Back in the olden days,

you had to be strong to survive.

Brainy weaklings like you

just died in the forest.

Adam is weak.

Oh, really? Well, we'll see

who has the strength to survive.

- We'll not only give up - electricity and running water,

We'll transform this place,

and live like they did

200 years ago.

Cool! I'll finally

get to see a dinosaur.

Well, these costumes

- we got from the drama department - are perfect.

- Good thing last term's - production

Was "Frontier Loggers:

the Musical."

- [Derby] I was - spectacular as the lead.

♪ I was once a mighty tree ♪

♪ Friend to man and dog ♪

♪ Then I woke

one autumn morn' ♪

♪ A simple woodland lo-o-o-og ♪

- I found your performance - a little wooden.

You're not dressed up,

Mr. Tater.

The 19th century

too much for you?

- Actually, the sweater vest - was invented

In the late 17th century

and was quite popular

until the mid-19th century,

- when the seventh - Earl of Cardigan

Had to get all fancy

with buttons.

- All right, I guess - the first thing we need to do

Is start a fire.

I'll chop some firewood.

[shrieks in horror]

It's dark in this schoolhouse!

I usually don't go in

for modern gadgets,

- but I guess it's good - I have this.

- Why is everyone - dressed like that?

Oh, that's right!

It's 1812.

And we're at war!

Wow. Phew.

- Got the axe - out of the package.

[exhaling wearily]

- Don't worry about - splitting the firewood.

Sure, girls back then

- would have wanted - a strong, powerful,

Muscular man.

But that's just not you.

If you want,

I can hold the log for you.

[crack!]

Oops. Sorry.

That just keeps happening.

[gasps in terror] He was next!

Who needs firewood?

If you're cold, we could always

keep each other warm

using body heat...

Great idea!

Oh... I'm sorry.

Did you want to be

the back spoon?

- Thanks, Slab! - There's nothing like

- a wood-burning fire.

- [Derby] I'd have to agree.

Although it is warm.

Clothes from the 1800s?

That is so 2002.

We're at war!

Why aren't you in uniform,

young man?

I'm a girl.

Ri-i-i-ight...

a girl in pants?

Some boys will do anything

to get out of serving.

There is no war, Mrs. Byrne.

Oh, yeah?

Then why do I have this?

You're crazy?

Get into uniform, recruit!

I'm not putting that on!

If you're trying to go A.W.O.L.,

you'll get the business end

of my musket...

Which is way less fun

than the party end.

[pow!]

Now let's talk about your hair.

Ooh! Hah!

- I thought being - in your delusional army

Was going to be boring.

The key to my hair is the

lemon-sage thickening spray...

[snip]

[raging] No-o-o-o!

Don't worry. I'm not done.

What hairstyle do you want?

The Bedford crop?

The Lovelock? The Brutus?

- The Brutus?

- The Brutus it is.

Who knew war was so tragic?

- All right. - Now we need a source of water.

Oh, now we need water?

- Not 20 minutes ago, - when I was screaming,

"Help! Help! Get some water!"

You know... beneath us,

there's an aquifer...

A wet underground layer

of water-bearing permeable rock

that could be

a source of well water.

[snoring]

[thud]

Trees these days are so rude.

Didn't even bother

to say "Timber!"

Stand back.

You're about to see a man...

dig a well.

Wow. That's amazing.

Good work, Slab!

[tap-tap]

I could've dug a well, too...

- if these instructions - weren't so confusing.

"How to use a shovel."

Hey, it's not

as easy as it looks.

- This thing does - have two ends.

Wow...

thanks for the lecture, Adam.

I slept like a...

what's that thing?

It's round...

it just lies there...

A log?

A baby!

Logs don't sleep!

[♪♪]

All right,

time for basic training.

We're gonna whip you

into shape.

I'm already in shape.

What kind of a formation

is that, fella? March!

[call and response] I don't

know, but I've been told.

Niagara gals are mighty cold.

Join me, boy!

- I don't know, - but I've been told...

[call and response]

Mrs. Byrne is really...

unfit to teach.

- Sound off! - One-two.

- Sound off!

- Three-four.

- [squealing]

- Why is the sound off?

- [squealing]

- I can't hear a thing.

We have to find some food.

People are getting desperate.

Ooh! Ants on a log.

As any 19th-century

botanist would know,

many of these plants

are perfectly edible.

[leaves rustling]

"Made in China."

I love Chinese food!

Slab, you feel like

Chinese food?

Nah... I'm good.

OK, apparently,

the garden is not edible.

But it looks like

some non-plastic berries

are growing on that vine.

Great. Maybe Slab can

climb up and get us some.

I got it.

Almost...

there...

- Give me your lunch, - nerd building!

[splat-thudding]

Wow! Slab is such a provider.

I provide...

information that

allows Slab to provide.

Anyway, that was more of

a gathering thing.

I'm focused on hunting.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Stupid woodpecker.

You're too late.

Slab already ate all the ants.

[peck]

Derby. Stay still!

[chirping]

Darn it. It flew away.

Too bad. Now you stay still.

[whump]

[thud]

OK, your turn.

Birds are too smart.

You have to go after

something big and stupid.

Uh-oh.

[cracking knuckles]

[Tater yelps]

I wish I had a place to hide!

Ooh. A wishing well!

I wish I had a place to hide.

Go, penny!

Oops. That was a nickel!

[Tater yelping]

[splash-thud!]

[Tater, echoing]

Oh... it was a Penny.

Is my face red.

Seriously, is it? Because

I banged it up pretty bad.

Mr. Tater, are you OK?

I think so!

Has the community

rallied around me?

Is the news here?

I can't hear the chopper.

Sorry! They're all across town

covering this duck.

He's doing the macarena!

Then get me out of here!

So I can go home

and watch that duck on the news.

We'd call for help,

but you took all our phones,

- and there's no power - in the school.

That's not entirely true.

What do you mean?

I mean, that it's partly true,

but not completely true.

Thank you for explaining it.

Wait. Are you saying that

there is power in the school?

Well, we have

a backup generator,

but that's only strong enough

to power

the barest of essentials.

[massage chair whirring]

Oh, yeah...

real go-o-oo-d.

I can't believe you accused me

of not being able to live

without modern comforts.

Really? Because

that sounds just like me.

Well, Mr. Tater,

it looks like your selfishness

is biting you in the butt.

My selfishness?

Oh, thank goodness.

I thought that was

a well spider.

Here. I'll throw you

the key to my office,

so you can use a phone

to call for help.

[chirping]

Did you catch the key?

The woodpecker got it!

[Woody Woodpecker laughs,

[echoing]

Oh, no. This is terrible!

Woodpeckers don't know

how to use keys.

That's why they always knock.

Great, now we can't

get to the phones.

Well, we have to do something.

Or do we?

I say we leave him down there,

and tell everyone

he went on a vacation

to the Bermuda Triangle...

where he fell down a well.

We have to help him.

Huh?

I need Tater.

- You can't have a good guy - without a bad guy!

- [explaining] - I'm the good guy.

[others, getting it] Oh!

Tater is the darkness to

my light.

The yin to my yang.

The chocolate chip to my...

- whatever else is in - chocolate chip cookies

Other than chocolate chips.

OK, I think we may be able

to pull Tater up by the rope,

- if Slab and Adam - work together.

Great!

- [Echo] Slab. - You pull on the rope.

Adam, you make Slab some tea.

[Tater calls up]

Thank you, Slab.

- [quietly] - He's the yang to my yin.

[grunting intensely]

When did you get so heavy?

- [appliances humming, buzzing, - and playing music]

Where's my napkin-maker?

When did you get so weak?

Are you even pulling?

[Slab yelling] A-a-a-ah!

[splash-thud]

Slab? Are you OK?

Yeah! Tater broke my fall!

Man, is his face red.

Now what?

If Slab wasn't strong enough

to pull me up,

- what made you think - you would be?

Let's see how you stand up

to interrogation.

What if you were captured

by the enemy?

I already was.

What's your name, mister?

Ivy!

Good. Always give them

a fake name.

- [barks] - Who's your commanding officer?

At the moment,

an old, crotchety,

senile history teacher.

Sounds like a worthy opponent.

But I want answers!

What's your mission?

Why are you here?

Who are you?

Who am I?

Where are we?

Where did I leave my purse?

Great. What are

we gonna do now?

We're stuck in this well, and

there's no one left to save us.

I can save you.

No one.

- Seriously, I'm right - outside the well, I could...

- Maybe that cute dog - who saves people from wells

Will rescue us.

We could try

clawing our way out.

I mean, it's next to impossible,

but what choice do we have?

[snaps] If only I had hair!

- How would that help us - out of the well?

It wouldn't.

I know! We could make a ladder.

Out of what?

[cries out]

Lassie!

I can save you using science.

We're living like it's 1812.

There was no science back then.

That's where you're wrong.

Where you're right...

I have no idea.

The pulley allows us

to easily lift heavy loads.

Each pulley disperses

an object's weight,

effectively cutting it in half.

Cutting it in half?

That's what I was

going to do to Derby!

- So, a person - of average strength

Would be able to pull us

out of here using...

- five pulleys.

- Right, five pulleys.

Anyway, with these pulleys,

I've reduced your total combined

weight of 627 pounds to...

three ounces.

[ropes creaking,

[pulleys squeaking]

- [straining intensely] - Which...

When you think about it,

it's still pretty heavy.

I just need

some sort of counterweight.

Oh.

[pulleys rattling]

Ho-o-o-o-o-o!

[others, overlapping] Whoa!

Wow, Adam!

I'm sorry I doubted you.

You see, Echo?

Intellect is what matters.

Physical strength

is all but useless.

Anyway, Slab, pull me up.

You don't need my "useless"

physical strength.

Use your intellect!

[Adam] OK.

I found

this shiny nickel in the well.

That's mine!

[pulleys whizzing]

[whump]

How was that?

Pretty good.

Who's up for a grilled panini

in Tater's office?

- The woodpecker has the key.

- I've got a spare.

- [Tater, echoing] - I could go for a panini.

Hello? Come on, guys,

this isn't funny.

Oh, look. I found

some science down here.

No? Nothing?

[♪♪]

Congratulations, recruit.

You've graduated

basic training

and are ready for battle.

Sir, yes, sir!

Look out! There's an enemy

soldier in that foxhole. Get

'im!

What? No, I...

Charge, soldier, charge!

[Ivy roaring] Ahh!

Ow! Ivy, what are you doing?

It's me, your principal.

I know. Ahh!

- [splash-thud]

- [Tater yelps] Well spider!

Congratulations, recruit.

We've won the war!

[pow!]