Original subtitles

Who can tell me what this is?

Boring?

It's a pendulum

and kind of boring.

Hardly.

Its motion is a classic example

of energy conservation.

[Derby] Oh, that's good.

Oh, thank you, Derby. I'm

glad someone appreciates...

[moaning] Yeah, right there.

Ingrid,

you have magic fingers.

Derby, this is going

to be on the test.

You're not taking any notes.

I'm not, but my butler is.

Oh, yeah. That's good.

A masseuse? A butler?

Where did you get the money

to afford all that?

A real estate transaction.

I recently sold

a valuable property.

What valuable property?

Finnegan High School.

You sold the school?

To whom?

Developers. They're

putting in upscale condos

with adjoining shopping

and office space.

Lovely.

Do the units include access

to the fitness center?

[Adam] Derby,

they can't build that.

You may not know this,

but there's a school here.

Not for long.

[girl screams]

Thank you, Higgins. That'll do.

♪ Good-bye, summer,

hello, fall ♪

- ♪ We've been trying - to get here ♪

♪ Since we both

were barely two feet tall ♪

♪ Who you callin' kid?

Who you callin' kid? ♪

♪ Who you callin' kid? ♪

♪ Can call me what you want ♪

♪ But I won't hear a word

where I am here ♪

♪ Who you callin' kid? ♪

- Mr. Tater, - you have to do something

About Derby and his pranks.

Look at me!

I'm covered in dust!

[sneezes]

And other things.

What am I supposed to do?

- If there's one thing - I've learned in my years

- As an educator, it's - that when you come

Across a troubled kid,

you just have to give up

on them and move on.

Another school of thought

is that kids act out

when they feel powerless.

[Derby] That's not

a terrible theory.

But how can we give

Derby a sense of power?

Of course.

Why didn't I see it?

It's right in front of my face!

We can put Derby in charge

of straightening crooked signs.

Or... we could convince him

to run for student council.

That's a great idea.

I was on the student

council when I was

his age, and look

how I turned out.

Well, let's try it anyway.

Slab, what are you doing?

- My little cousin Jakey - is coming to visit

For his fifth birthday,

so I'm blowing up balloons.

Whoa!

Slab, that's not how

you blow up balloons.

- They seem pretty - blown up to me.

- Well, at least I know how to - play pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.

[donkey brays]

- This is how you - entertain a child?

Well, I don't know what to do.

Wait! You're a girl!

Girls are good with children.

Boys are just good

with stuff like sports,

science, business,

medicine, and math.

Girls are also good

at angry looks.

- [sighs] - OK, if you want to learn

How to entertain a kid,

you can practice with me.

Cool. Thanks!

Ow!

Oh, there's that

angry look again.

Derby, what would you say

if I told you you could

have newfound power?

Ooh! Like Spider-man?

Except let's have me bitten

by a radioactive snake

so I can slither around

and eat things whole.

You know how I hate to chew.

Not super powers.

I meant school-based

quasi-governmental powers.

Hmm?

You could run

for student council.

[gulps]

Great idea!

It's the perfect cover.

As mild-mannered student body

treasurer Seth Sawyer,

no one would know

my true identity...

Snake-man.

Derby, I didn't mean...

I'll need a secret lair,

the snake pit.

You don't use your classroom

for anything, right?

- Derby, I'm not trying - to give you a secret identity.

Uh-oh!

My snakey-sense is tingling!

I must now slither

off into the night.

[hisses]

OK, Slab, one of the things

little kids love to do

is arts and crafts.

- Would you like to try - some beading?

I'd love to.

Who are we gonna beat?

You know what?

Let's try some macaroni art.

You can take dry noodles

and, using glue...

make a little person.

See?

OK, you try.

Just...

about...

done.

Slab, did you just glue

macaroni onto a nerd?

[scoffs]

No...

I also used fusilli.

Well, I tried.

- Derby showed no interest - in running for student council.

Then what are we going to do

to stop his prank spree?

I'd call Snake-man,

but I don't know who he is.

Derby?

No, it can't be Derby.

Snake-man's a hero.

Derby's an irresponsible

socialite.

Derby, you decided to run

in the school elections?

- No. Student council - has no power.

- I'm running in - the city elections

For school superintendent.

What? But the school

superintendent is my boss.

I know I can count

on your support.

Don't worry, Mr. Tater.

No one's going

to vote for Derby.

I wouldn't be so sure.

He's already got some

high-profile endorsements.

"Snake-man says vote Derby

for ssssssschool

ssssssuperintendent."

[band playing]

[Derby] Thank you for coming.

Vote for Derby.

Make sure you vote for Derby!

Mrs. Byrne,

- will you be voting - for me in the election?

Very funny. You know women

don't have the vote.

- Look at how many people - showed up

For Derby's campaign rally,

plus I hear he's cozying up

to the head of the PTA.

All right, I'll vote for you.

Just quit cozying up to me.

[Derby] Have a souvenir

from my T-shirt cannon!

[crowd cheering]

- [Derby] I never saw - myself as someone

Who would get involved

in city politics,

but I could no longer

stand idly by,

given the sorry state

of our public schools.

- If you elect me - school superintendent,

I will lower teacher pay!

How could he do that to me?

And get rid of

incompetent principals!

[gasps]

How could he do that to me?

So vote for me,

and I will clean up this school!

[band playing]

Ooh, Echo, tell me if you think

- my cousin will like - this puppet show.

Sure. Let's see it.

Great. Hold my mittens

and I'll get started.

[Slab as Red Riding Hood]

♪ La la la la, la la la-la ♪

I'm off to Grandma's house.

[thud]

Oops. I guess I should

open the door first.

- [Slab, as Wolf] - Come in, Red Riding Hood.

[as Red Riding Hood] Grandma!

What big nerdy glasses you have!

[as Wolf] The better

to see you with, sweetie.

- [as Red Riding Hood] - What big teeth you have,

- And what a big retainer - you have straightening them.

- [as Wolf] - The better to eat you with!

- [as Red Riding Hood] - Don't eat me!

- I brought you - this basket of treats...

- [as himself] - Ooh! I'll take that.

- [as Red Riding Hood] - Don't you dare!

I brought these for Grandma!

[as himself] Give it, nerd!

[whimpers]

I don't know what to say.

How about "encore"?

"Encore"?

OK!

- [Slab, as Goldilocks] - I'm lost in the forest!

Do I smell porridge?

- [as himself] - You have porridge?!

Well, according to the polls,

Derby's way ahead.

Also according to the poles,

Mrs. Straupersson lost her cat.

We can't let him

win that election.

You never win anything.

How do you do it?

I don't know.

I'm a natural-born loser.

It's not something

you can teach.

We need someone

to run against him.

[both gasp]

- Are you thinking - what I'm thinking?

That Snake-man ate

Mrs. Straupersson's cat?

We should find a candidate

- who has something - Derby doesn't have.

Experience.

[band plays]

Who has heard of

the War of 1812?

Mrs. Byrne,

you're not teaching.

You're running a campaign.

A military campaign

in the War of 1812?

You're running

for school superintendent.

Tell them how you're gonna make

this school a better place.

A better place?!

- This will never be - a better place

Unless we get rid of

incompetent principals!

[cheering and applause]

[Rachel]

And while you're at it,

lower teacher pay!

At least she's popular

with the voters.

And now for my T-shirt cannon!

Mrs. Byrne, that's not

a T-shirt cannon.

It's a real cannon

from the War of 1812.

The what?

[crowd screaming]

[Tater] Great.

- Mrs. Byrne dropped - out of the race

- After being arrested - for assault with

A very old weapon.

What are we going to do

to stop Derby from winning?

How about a smear campaign?

You mean... we give

people cream cheese

if they agree not

to vote for Derby?

That's genius!

I actually meant

we create a scandal.

So we tell them

it's cream cheese,

- but really it's some - protein-based spread

Made from people!

No.

This is a non-cream

cheese related plan.

OK. I'm skeptical,

but I'll hear you out.

Derby's done a lot

- of questionable things - over the years.

- If people knew the real him, - they'd never vote for him.

[gasps] Are you thinking

what I'm thinking?

Probably not.

Are you thinking

about cream cheese?

- [scoffs] - No.

Mmm!

Hey!

That bully stole my lunch!

Finished my storybook...

"Bobo the Butterfly."

"For Jakey."

Aw, that's sweet.

He's gonna love it.

Once upon a time, there was

a butterfly named Bobo,

and he was very hungry.

- So he flew around - the garden looking

For something for lunch,

and came upon a worm

eating a fruitball.

"Mmm.

"That fruitball

looks scrumptious!

Can I have some?"

[British accent]

"Wriggle, wriggle!

"No way!

Butterflies don't eat

fruitballs, silly!"

[chuckles]

So Bobo flew off again,

until he saw a ladybug

eating a leaf.

"Mmm! That leaf looks,

"well, not very tasty,

"but I'm hungry.

Can I have some?"

[high-pitched voice]

"Flutter, flutter!

Forget it!

Butterflies don't eat leaves!"

So Bobo flew off again,

puzzled.

"I can't figure out

what butterflies eat."

- [Southern accent] - "Buzz, buzz.

- "They eat nectar - from flowers,

Just like me, mm-hmm."

[as Bobo] "They do?

Thanks, Bee!"

So Bobo beat up the bee

until he gave him his lunch.

Then Bobo drank the nectar,

and realized...

[as Bobo] "Nectar stinks!

I'm gonna take out

my frustrations on...

everyone!"

The End.

Slab, I'm not going to let you

read this to your little cousin!

Ah, you're so stubborn!

It's very violent and

could give him nightmares.

Oh, I wasn't talking to you.

Come on, move! Move!

[donkey brays]

Fine. I'll go around you.

Thank you for coming

- to my last campaign rally - of the election.

[cheering and applause]

[chanting]

Derby! Derby! Derby!

You all know Derby

the candidate.

Now let's show you

Derby the man.

[orchestral music playing]

[Derby narrating]

Family man.

Businessman.

War hero.

OK, we've got to sneak

over to the equipment

and switch the video.

- How? No one can know - we're involved.

Don't worry.

I have the perfect disguise.

Nice.

[whistling nonchalantly]

[Derby narrating]

Patriot...

snappy dresser...

lover of animals.

[Adam narrates]

Thief.

[beeping rapidly]

What's going on?

[Adam]

Weirdo.

[crowd booing and jeering]

Well done.

I am as shocked as you are.

Look at the shenanigans

that have gone on

at Finnegan High

under Principal Tater's watch.

[Derby]

Well, no more, I say!

He'll be gone once you elect me

school superintendent!

[cheering and applause]

[chanting]

Derby! Derby! Derby!

I hope you're the Tater

he fires.

[chanting continues]

What am I going to do?

You hated my arts and crafts,

my puppets,

my delightful children's book,

and the amazing

Slabdini's magic show.

You tried to actually

saw me in half.

What is wrong with you?

A magician never

reveals his secrets.

[whispering]

Psychotic personality disorder.

Sorry, Slab.

I guess some people just

aren't good with little kids.

Slab!

Cousin Jakey! Happy birthday!

You look just like you did

when you were a baby.

Your poor aunt.

- Have you ever played - Pin-the-tail-on-the-Echo?

Have they announced

the election results yet?

Not as of yet, sir.

This waiting is so stressful.

I can really feel the tension

in your shoulders.

You guys are being

so nice to me...

on the same day that I could

be elected the boss of you.

What a coincidence!

[computer chime]

The results are

coming in now, sir.

How'd I do? How'd I do?

You got 2,704 votes.

Wow!

Is that good?

Well, Mrs. Byrne jumped

back in the race and got...

Zero.

- It's really too bad - she didn't know

She could vote for herself.

- And then there's - the beloved incumbent,

Lucy MacLeod, who,

- come to think of it, - we haven't paid

Any attention to

this entire campaign.

She ended up with...

36 votes.

I won! I was worried there

with that big tee-up

you gave Lucy MacLeod.

But I won!

You know what this means?

Derby is the school

superintendent.

Look out, everyone.

The fun is about to begin.

[shouting and clamoring]

[all shouting questions at once]

One at a time! One at a time!

[all shouting at once]

Hey! That was not one at a time!

You, Mrs. Young.

- What are you going - to do about the fact

That this third-rate school

hires children as teachers?

We're looking into it.

That's all you ever say!

[all shouting and clamoring]

Well, our plan kind of worked.

- Derby's been too busy - dealing with all

The school problems

to create any of his own.

Yeah, and with me

in charge of this place,

those problems are not

going away anytime soon.

- [Slab] - "I'm going to take out

My frustrations

on... everyone!"

The End.

Awesome!

The bestest part was

when he beat up the bee.

And the other bestest part

was when he beat up the worm.

And the other

other bestest part

was when he beat up the ladybug.

And now I have something

even bestester.

[Derby]

Yesssssss, citizensssss?

What sssssseemssssss

to be the ssssssituation?

Yay! Snake-man!

Ssstop!

I'm sstill digesssssssting

yesterday'sss ssssssupper!

[hacks]