Original subtitles

When you said,

"Let's go bowling,"

this is not exactly

what I had in...

Mind!

[pins clatter]

[thud]

Ooh, the dreaded

seven-ten split.

Very challenging.

I don't like very challenging!

[buzz]

That tickles!

Whee!

You nerds are

missing math class?

Huh! Bowl me over!

[screams, thuds]

Gutterball?

Yes! A spare!

Slab?

Whee!

- Were you bowling - in the hallway?

- Whenever anything happens - at this school,

It's always, "Blame Slab."

- Well, I don't have to - stand for that!

I'm just going to take

my bowling ball and go.

♪ Good-bye, summer

hello, fall ♪

- ♪ We've been trying - to get here ♪

♪ Since we both were

barely two feet tall ♪

♪ Who you callin' kid?

Who you callin' kid? ♪

♪ Who you callin' kid? ♪

♪ Can call me what you want ♪

♪ But I won't hear a word

where I am here ♪

♪ Who you callin' kid? ♪

Careful.

- Don't contaminate - the crime scene.

- I need to rely on - the physical evidence,

Since none of

these people will talk.

It's funny.

I never really hear them talk.

They just wander around

in the background.

- [Derby] You wanted - to see me, Mr. Tater?

Derby!

Just wanted you

to confirm that it's Slab

who is responsible for

the little bowling incident.

What bowling incident?

- I don't know what - you're talking about.

Just tell us what you know!

- Look, you'd better - listen to him.

He gets a little crazy.

Tater, why don't you

run down to the corner

for some donuts while I talk

to our friend here?

Don't leave me

alone with him!

Come on, Derby.

Slab has been

terrorizing this place

since he started high

school seven years ago.

- I'd like to help you, - Mr. Tater,

But if Slab breaks me

into little pieces...

who will water my plant?

- You don't have to be - afraid of Slab.

He won't be around to hurt you.

If you tell me he did this,

he'll be expelled.

Expelled?

From the Latin expellere?

As in, to drive

or force out or away?

Maybe...

if that means Slab

go bye-bye forever.

Slab did it. Slab did it all!

Yes! I knew I'd

pin this bowling thing on him.

Oh... "pin"

this "bowling" thing on him.

[laughs]

I did not see that

delicious pun coming.

[chanting]

Derby! Derby! Derby! Derby!

Derby! Derby!

- Squealing on Slab - is the greatest thing

I have ever done.

Girls are shouting my name!

And it's not followed by,

"Get away from me!"

[students chant]

Derby! Derby!

[cheering and applause]

Who squealed on me?

[chanting]

Derby! Derby! Derby!

Would you stop chanting "Derby"

and answer my question?!

[chanting] Derby is the answer

to your question!

What did you guys get

- for Number Three - on the geography test?

[chanting]

Moldavia! Moldavia!

Oh, good. Ha!

[grunting and struggling]

- I guess we've really - seen the last of Slab.

You haven't seen the last of me!

- [students chanting] - Derby! Derby!

That was quite a coincidence.

[Slab] That was no coincidence!

Want to go to lunch?

- I actually get to eat this one, - and not the spare

I keep hidden under this rock.

Sure.

- I got to hand it to you, - this place

Seems different

since we got rid of Slab.

[overlapping laughter

[and chatter]

[cheerful music plays]

[Adam] It's nice

to see everyone so happy.

It is nice.

[bird twittering]

My, oh my,

what a wonderful day!

I'm back!

Aah!

[splat]

I'm finally going

to throw away this anvil.

- We haven't offered - blacksmithing classes

Since last semester.

[clang] Ow!

Derby?

What are you doing in there?

Hiding from Slab.

By the way, we have

an anvil recycling program.

Derby! Where are you?!

- You may have escaped, - but next time

You won't be so lucky,

no matter how many

horseshoes you made

in blacksmithing class.

- Where are you going? - Come back here!

You promised I'd never

have to see Slab again.

What happened to

"Slab go bye-bye forever"?

He got "forever" reduced

to a one-day suspension.

He had a good lawyer,

and we had me.

- But you said you could - guarantee my safety!

- [chuckling] - I say a lot of things.

OK, OK.

- The school has a - little-known program

We can use to protect you.

Echo?

Are you hiding from Slab, too?

What?

No, this is just

- an environmentally - conscious dress

I made from recycled

recycling bins.

Slab, what are you doing?

Using this cardboard cut-out

decoy to trick Derby.

When he sees it,

he'll think it's me,

turn, and run that way,

right into my waiting fist.

Nobody's going to be fooled

by a cardboard cut-out.

Besides, we have

a lot to learn today.

Isn't that right, Echo?

[Echo humming nonchalantly]

Echo?

Hmm?

Where are you going?

Uh... to my seat.

Class, I have

some news to share.

Derby will no longer be

attending Finnegan High.

What? Why not?

He moved away, to...

Atlantis.

You mean Atlanta?

[scoffs] No.

Atlanta's not a real place.

- Anyway, on an - unrelated note, I'd like

- To introduce our new - foreign exchange student

From England... Simon.

- [British accent] - 'ello, 'ello!

Nice to meet you, school chums.

Welcome, Simon.

Why don't you sit over there?

Next to Echo? Be happy to.

- How did you know - her name is Echo?

Her name is Echo?

What a coincidence.

We call all the lassies "echo"

back in jolly old England.

- Lovely to make - your acquaintance.

[giggles]

I love your accent.

- What part of England - are you from?

Uh... Chester... ford...

ham... ton... shire.

Adjacent.

Tater, can I talk

to you for a second?

Darn. It didn't work.

Maybe I shouldn't stand

so close to it.

I was wondering if you could

put me in touch with Derby.

Not to hurt him or anything.

I just want to return

this book he loaned me,

"How to Bludgeon Someone

With this Book."

I already told you, Slab.

Derby moved to Atlantis.

Well, I looked up Atlantis.

It said it's a mythical

underwater civilization.

Uh... yes.

That's where Derby's living.

If you don't believe me,

you can talk to him yourself.

I'll set it up.

Fine, but if you're lying to me,

I'll have to use this other

book Derby lent me,

- "How to Restore Trust - and Rebuild Honesty

In a Relationship."

Believe me, it's time-consuming

and very hard work!

Gimme that.

And your spare one!

Hey, you!

Who, me?

Yeah! What do you

have for lunch?

Kidney pie, blood pudding,

and toad in the hole.

OK, just asking.

Isn't Simon great?

He's so charming

and elegant and refined.

[splutters]

He's OK.

[Derby] Eh, you can

really taste the toad.

Everything he says

sounds so intelligent.

R-really?

You like guys

who are intelligent?

Like someone who tested

in the 99.99th percentile

on the Stanford-Binet

Intelligence Scale?

Here is a laminated,

wallet-sized copy

of my certificate.

You can keep that.

I didn't say I liked guys

who are intelligent.

I said I like guys

who sound intelligent.

I think I'm going to ask

Simon out on a date.

Ooh, I... I wouldn't do that.

- "Out on a date" - is British slang

For attending a rainy funeral.

OK, maybe I'll just see

- if he wants to spend - some time together.

- If you want, - but you should know,

- "time together" is slang - for having your tooth pulled

Without anesthetic.

Really?

Then I'll just suggest

dinner and a movie.

Ouch. "Dinner and a movie."

That's slang

for violent diarrhea.

It's a funny culture.

OK, Slab. You wanted proof

Derby's in Atlantis,

so I set up a video chat.

[computer beeps]

Hello?

Derby! You're really

living in Atlantis?

Yup! And I love it here!

Plus, I'm dating a mermaid.

Oh, that is so hot.

Heh heh heh!

The top half

is the fish part, right?

Huh. He really is in Atlantis.

- I guess I shouldn't have - doubted this souvenir

He sent me.

You couldn't have said

I was in Pittsburgh?

- Where's Simon?

- Don't know.

- Maybe he ate - some bad kidney pie

And got "dinner and a movie."

[Echo] There he is!

Hi, Simon!

- Terribly sorry - for being tardy, old chap.

A lorry full of scones

overturned on the motorway.

Hi, Simon!

Well, if it isn't Echo,

the prettiest echo

this side of... Devon...

bright... pool...

ingham... bury.

[giggles]

- Listen, Simon, I was - wondering if you'd like

To go for...

"supper and a film."

Huh? Wait!

Are you asking me out?

So, what do you say?

"Yes."

[Tater] Derby!

Over here.

Mr. Tater,

why are you in there?

- I thought it would look - suspicious

If people saw you talking to me,

- so pretend you're talking - to this garbage can.

Good idea.

How's it going as Simon?

- Great. Nobody knows - who I really am.

[Slab] Derby!

- Is the type of hat - I'd like you to watch

For me while I'm on vacation.

Thanks, Simon.

You're going on 'oliday?

Smashing!

No, I'm not going

anywhere to smash anyone.

I'm simply going to Atlantis

to do some... fishing.

One problem.

I never learned to swim.

In water, that is.

I can swim fine in milk.

I can help you.

- In fact, I happen to have - a large tank of water

In this classroom.

Awesome!

I'll go slip into my mankini!

What are you doing?

This is perfect:

I'll teach Slab to swim,

- he'll travel all the way - to Atlantis, but all

- He'll find is an - underwater civilization

Of fish people, with no Derby.

Pretty smart, huh?

That's why I scored

in the 15th percentile

in the Stanford-Binet

Intelligence Scale.

"If you find this boy,

please call his mommy."

Mr. Tater said you

wanted to talk to me?

[Adam] Derby, it doesn't

take someone who scored

in the 99.99th percentile

on the Stanford-Binet

- Intelligence Scale to see - what's going on here.

I know you're not in Atlantis.

OK, the truth is...

But that's not why I'm here.

There's this new kid

from England... Simon.

Is he handsome?

I bet he's handsome.

Devilishly handsome!

- The problem is, - he's going on a date

With Echo, my Echo!

- Ouch. - I know.

Not that. This.

Look, maybe this Simon

agreed to go out with Echo

because he used to be the kind

of kid who didn't get dates,

and now he has a fresh start,

a chance to get

a new reputation,

set himself apart from guys

like... I don't know, me.

- So, you're saying - he may be interested

In dating someone,

not necessarily Echo.

Exactly. I'm sure,

if you explain the situation

and tell him you don't want him

to date Echo, he'll understand.

Are you daft, you barmy twit?

No blooming way

I'm canceling the date!

Like that.

Oh. OK.

Hey, this tank looks

a lot like Atlantis.

Uh, yeah. Heh!

After I saw where Derby

lived, I was inspired

to redecorate... this tank.

You did a great job.

I mean, this is exact,

right down

to that sign that says,

"Welcome to Atlantis."

Oh. OK, the truth is...

Anyway, thanks for

the swimming lesson.

I'm off to Atlantis.

Now, to find me some

of that sunken treasure.

[crunch]

Ow! Stupid lobster!

This is exciting. I've

never played polo before.

It's simple, luv.

Saddle up.

I don't even know how

to hold the mallet.

I'll show you.

All you need is a firm grip.

Now, pretend this pony is you.

That's it. Tighter.

Good. Good girl.

Hey, guys.

- Don't want to intrude, - but I thought you might

Want some tea and crumpets.

I baked them myself.

Fancy some crumpets?

Yeah, I guess.

Yes. Of course, I meant you.

Mmm, these look scrumptious.

I'll watch your ponies for you.

[Echo] So, shall we

try another round?

- Brilliant. - After you, milady.

Neigh!

Whoa!

Are you OK?

Oh, your poor elbow.

Let me kiss it better.

Neigh!

Maybe next time, I should

fall on my... lips.

[giggles]

You cad.

[snorting]

Looks like this pony

wants to play some more.

[back crunches]

Oof!

Huzzah!

- Hey, I'm getting - pretty good at this. Heh!

- [smack] - Neigh!

Well, I'm off to Atlantis.

Ooh! Can I take a pony,

so I can play water polo?

- Actually, I...

- I'll take this one.

He looks well-rested.

Oof!

Giddy up!

Oof!

Ow!

[laughs]

Hey!

Nobody laughs at Slab,

- except during my hilarious - one-man show,

"Slab-servations,"

which the Sacramento Bee called

"a rip-roaring good time."

- I didn't mean - anything by it, old bean.

Who are you calling a bean?

I'm going to make your life

at this school miserable!

In fact, forget Atlantis.

I don't need Derby anymore.

You're my Derby now!

Get him!

[whimpering] Neigh!

Neigh. Neigh.

[whimpering]

[Derby] Is he out there?

Don't worry, we'll just get you

another new identity.

Everyone, I'd like you

to meet our new

foreign exchange student...

Gretl.

Guten tag!

Hey, you're cute.

- What do you say to - dinner and a movie?

Oopsy-daisy!

- I think I forgot to wind - ze cuckoo clock!

Coming, cuckoo!

Hey, guys.

I'm back from Atlantis.

I'm so sorry you had

to go back to England.

Yes, but I'm afraid

Her Majesty needed me

for a top-secret mission.

Duty calls.

[sniggering]

He said "doody."

Well, I really miss you,

but at least I'll

always have your pony

to keep me company.

[happily]

Neigh!

[nickering]

I just really love this guy.

Mmm! Mmm, mmm.