Original subtitles

[♪♪]

BLOW DRYER.

PERFUME.

LIPSTICK.

EARRINGS.

WHAT DO THESE ITEMS

HAVE IN COMMON?

THEY'RE MINE.

- SELF-BEAUTIFICATION - IS ONE TECHNIQUE

HUMANS USE TO ATTRACT A MATE.

GREAT IDEA.

HEY, IVY, YOU FREE FRIDAY NIGHT?

NO, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE

YOU ARE.

- IT'S NOT EVEN - HIS SHADE.

- ANIMALS HAVE - MANY DIFFERENT METHODS

TO ATTRACT A MATE.

- PEACOCKS USE - BRIGHTLY COLORED FEATHERS,

MOTHS SECRETE

A COLOGNE-LIKE SUBSTANCE

CALLED "PHEROMONES,"

- GOATS LOCK HORNS, - GORILLAS BEAT THEIR CHESTS...

WHAT DO DERBYS DO?

[BEATING CHEST AND SHOUTING]

NOTHING?

ALL RIGHT,

HOW ABOUT THIS?

BAA! BAA! BAA!

GIVE IT UP,

GOAT VERSION OF DERBY.

BAA!

IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM,

THE MALE CHALLENGES ANOTHER MALE

HE BELIEVES HE CAN DOMINATE.

GOT IT.

- WHOA, WHOA, - HEY, HEY!

[CRASHING AND SPLASHING]

STILL NOTHING?

- I GUESS I'M JUST GOING TO - HAVE TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.

[♪♪]

♪ GOODBYE, SUMMER

HELLO, FALL ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET HERE

SINCE WE BOTH ♪

♪ WERE BARELY TWO FEET TALL ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLIN' KID?

WHO YOU CALLIN' KID? ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLIN' KID? ♪

♪ CAN CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT

BUT I WON'T HEAR A WORD ♪

♪ WHERE I AM HERE ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLIN' KID? ♪

[♪♪]

LOOK AT THIS MESS.

I HOPE MOTH PHEROMONES

DON'T LEAVE A STAIN.

ME, TOO.

- BECAUSE THIS IS - AN AWESOME SHIRT.

IT REALLY BRINGS OUT

THE BLUE IN YOUR EYES.

IT DOES?

MM-HMM.

[GIGGLES]

BY THE WAY,

DID YOU GET A NEW HAIRCUT?

IT'S SUPER CUTE.

IT HANGS IN YOUR EYES

JUST ENOUGH.

IT DOES?

OH, YEAH.

- YOU KNOW, THAT ANIMAL - ATTRACTION STUFF

WAS REALLY INTERESTING.

IT WAS?

OF COURSE, SILLY!

I LOVE...

YOUR CLASS.

YOU DO?

YES.

IT'S ALL CLEANED UP.

I GUESS WE'RE DONE.

WE ARE?

OOPS.

OOPS.

[CHUCKLING]

[SMASH]

OOPS.

ACTUALLY, THAT WAS A REALLY

EXPENSIVE PIECE OF EQUIPMENT.

OOPS.

LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

IT'S A MESS.

DIRTY FLOORS, DUSTY LOCKERS,

OVERFLOWING GARBAGE CANS...

THERE'S NO ROOM

IN HERE FOR YOU.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?

- DON'T GIVE UP - SO EASILY.

- LET'S GO CHECK THE ONES - IN THE CAFETERIA.

GOOD IDEA.

YOU KNOW, JUST FOR THAT,

- I'M GOING TO - PUT YOU IN FOOD WASTE.

IT'S SOFTER.

THANKS, BUDDY.

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.

WHERE'S DANG?

- [LISTLESSLY] - YOU CALLED?

YES.

LOOK AT THE FLOOR!

HOW?

CAN BARELY SEE IT

WITH ALL THIS GARBAGE.

I KNOW!

- ARE YOU GOING TO JUST - STAND THERE,

OR ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME?

JUST STAND HERE.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHY AREN'T YOU CLEANING?

I NOT HAPPY.

WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPY?

I MISS VIETNAM.

YOU'RE MISS VIETNAM?

WHERE'S YOUR SASH,

YOUR TIARA?

NOT, I "MISS VIETNAM."

I MISS VIETNAM!

OH, YOU'RE HOMESICK.

MAYBE I CAN HELP.

YOU BRING FAMILY

TO VISIT ME?

UH, NO,

WE CAN'T AFFORD THAT.

WE CAN BARELY AFFORD

ALL OF THE TEACHERS WE NEED.

UH...

HEY, MRS. STRAUPERSSON.

- YOU'RE NOT GOING - TO BELIEVE THIS,

- BUT ECHO WAS - FLIRTING WITH ME.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WHAT DID ECHO DO THAT

YOU THINK IS "FLIRTY?"

"THIS IS AN AWESOME SHIRT.

- IT REALLY BRINGS OUT - THE BLUE IN YOUR EYES."

THANK YOU,

BUT I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

WHAT DID ECHO SAY?

DERBY, I'M TELLING YOU.

SHE SHOVED ME.

- SHE DESTROYED - EXPENSIVE LAB EQUIPMENT.

I KNOW FLIRTING WHEN I SEE IT.

- I GUESS - SHE CAN NO LONGER RESIST

MY RUGGEDLY HANDSOME GOOD LOOKS.

YEAH, THAT'S NOT IT.

YOU SPILLED PHEROMONES

ALL OVER YOURSELF.

- THAT MUST BE - WHAT'S ATTRACTING ECHO.

NICE THEORY,

BUT ECHO'S NOT A MOTH,

GOOFBALL.

I SEE.

YOU'RE LASHING OUT

BECAUSE I DIDN'T RESPOND

WHEN YOU FLIRTED WITH ME.

NO,

AND IF YOU HAVE A THEORY,

YOU NEED TO PROVE IT,

- WITH AN EXPERIMENT - USING THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL DO IT

LATER TODAY,

- AND I'LL BE SURE TO WEAR - A DIFFERENT SHIRT

SO YOU WON'T BE DISTRACTED.

- MAYBE ONE OF US - DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN,

- BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND - THE ASSIGNMENT.

SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR LESSON,

MRS. STRAUPERSSON,

- BUT I NEED A MOMENT - OF YOUR TIME.

GREAT IDEA, MRS. STRAUPERSSON.

IVY, MRS. STRAUPERSSON TELLS ME

YOU'RE FAILING GEOGRAPHY.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

SHE'S A TERRIBLE TEACHER.

- ALMOST AS BAD - AS OUR FRENCH TEACHER,

MONSIEUR MARIONETTE.

[WOODEN LIMBS CLICKETY-CLACK]

THE GOOD NEWS IS,

MRS. STRAUPERSSON HAS AGREED

- TO LET YOU DO - AN EXTRA CREDIT ASSIGNMENT

TO RAISE YOUR GRADE.

FINE. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

I WANT YOU...

I MEAN,

MRS. STRAUPERSSON WANTS YOU

TO HELP CHEER UP DANG.

HE'S HOMESICK.

HE'S HOME SICK?

NO WONDER THE HALLWAYS

ARE SUCH A MESS.

YES, I SEE WHAT

YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH.

HELLO, FELLOW

SCIENCE PERSON.

I AM READY

TO TEST MY THEORY.

ECHO IS ATTRACTED TO

MOTH PHEROMONES,

NOT YOU.

WHAT'S WITH THE CABINET?

- SO THEY'RE - FAR AWAY FROM YOU,

- I'LL PLACE - THE PHEROMONES IN HERE.

AND NONE OF THESE

CABINETS WOULD WORK?

WHOSE EXPERIMENT IS THIS?

NOW WHAT?

ECHO IS ON HER WAY.

- I WILL BLEND INTO - MY SURROUNDINGS,

- SO AS NOT TO INFLUENCE - THE RESULTS,

AND OBSERVE QUIETLY

AS SHE REJECTS YOU.

YOUR THEORY IS FLAWED,

AND YOUR DISGUISE

IS WORSE THAN YOUR THEORY.

OH, HEY, SLAB.

YOU WANTED TO ASK ME

SOMETHING, MR. YOUNG?

YES!

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU STILL...

LIKED MY HAIR?

WELL, IT COVERS YOUR FACE.

THAT'S PROBABLY A GOOD THING.

ANYWAY, I HAVE TO GET TO CLASS.

WOW...

BEAUTIFUL CABINET.

- IS THIS... - [INHALING]

OAK?

- I THINK IT'S SOME KIND OF - WOOD COMPOSITE PRESSBOARD.

WHY?

IT'S NICE.

REALLY NICE.

[GIGGLES]

- ECHO, AREN'T YOU LATE - FOR CLASS?

OH, RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

[BLOWS KISS]

CONCLUSION,

DERBY IS AN AWESOME

SCIENCE PERSON.

WHATEVER.

- I WANT ECHO TO LIKE ME - FOR WHO I AM.

I'M NOT GOING TO STOOP

TO THE CABINET'S LEVEL.

BUONGIORNO!

WHAT ALL THIS?

IT'S LIKE YOU NEVER LEFT ITALY.

NOW WE MAKE-A THE PIZZA.

IVY?

- WHAT IS - GOING ON HERE?

I'M GIVING DANG

A TASTE OF HOME.

- DANG'S NOT FROM ITALY! - HE'S FROM ASIA.

WHAT?

[LAUGHING]

WHO'S LAUGHING?

IS THAT DANG?

ARE YOU CHEERED UP

AND READY

TO GO BACK TO WORK?

NO...

DANG-A HE LEFT.

THIS IS RANDOM

ITALIAN PASSERBY,

WHO IS AMUSED BY

MISHANDLING OF

THE PIZZA.

[♪♪]

[GIGGLES]

[♪♪]

MAY I CUT IN?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC BEGINS]

[BANGHRA DANCE TUNE STARTS]

[♪♪]

IVY!

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?

I AM NAZREEN LAGOO,

A SHY, INTROVERTED SECRETARY

AT MUMBAI'S THIRD LARGEST

BASKET COMPANY.

I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE

WITH MY EMPLOYER,

THE WEALTHY AND POWERFUL

MR. CHOPRA...

[♪♪]

MUCH TO THE DISMAY

OF MY GRANDFATHER, RAJU,

A BANANA MERCHANT

WHO IS SET IN HIS WAYS.

NOT THE MEANING OF YOUR DANCE.

- WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ON - A BOLLYWOOD PRODUCTION

IN MY HALLWAY?

YOU SAID DANG WAS HOMESICK.

INDIA IS NOT HIS HOME.

DANG IS FROM VIETNAM!

FINE, I'LL DO SOMETHING

FOR VIETNAM.

GOOD.

- OH, AND SINCE - YOU WON'T BE NEEDING

THIS BASKET,

I CAN USE IT FOR TRASH.

WAIT, MR. TATER!

THERE'S A COBRA IN THAT BASKET!

[HISSING]

[SCREAMS IN TERROR]

HEE-HEE-HEE!

[HISSING]

IS THAT YOU, DANG?

ARE YOU HAPPY?

NO, NO, NO.

NO DANG HERE,

JUST A RANDOM SNAKE CHARMER

WHO IS AMUSED BY THE MISHANDLING

OF A VENOMOUS SERPENT.

[♪♪]

[GIGGLING CHUMMILY]

HEY, GUYS,

- I'M HOSTING - TET TRUNG THU TOMORROW NIGHT.

- IT'S A VIETNAMESE - FESTIVAL

THAT CELEBRATES

THE LEGEND OF CUOI,

WHOSE WIFE URINATED

ON A SACRED BANYAN TREE,

WHICH THEN GREW

TALLER AND TALLER,

AND TOOK HIM TO THE MOON.

TRUE STORY.

- WOW, YOU KNOW, - DANG WILL LOVE THAT.

YOU'RE RIGHT!

I SHOULD TOTALLY INVITE HIM!

YOU KNOW,

THAT SORT OF SOUNDS FUN.

MAYBE YOU AND I COULD...

SURE, I'D LOVE TO GO.

IT'S A DATE.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

YES!

A DATE.

BEST DAY EVER!

[SMASH]

NICE TRY, CABINET.

YOU THROW LIKE

MY GRANDMA'S NIGHTSTAND.

WHAT'S WITH THE SLEEPING BAG?

- TICKETS FOR TET TRUNG THU - GO ON SALE TOMORROW MORNING,

AND I'M GOING WITH ECHO.

SO I'M CAMPING OUT.

A DATE WITH ECHO?

- I GUESS YOU'RE BACK - ON THE PHEROMONES.

HEY, ECHO LIKES ME

FOR WHO I AM.

A GUY WHO USES

A LOT OF PHEROMONES.

- YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT WANT TO - TAKE IT EASY WITH THAT STUFF.

WHO SENT YOU, THE CABINET?

- I'M JUST WORRIED - YOU'RE BECOMING A MOTH.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

YOU'RE DRINKING NECTAR.

IT'S JUICE!

PEOPLE DRINK JUICE ALL THE TIME.

YOUR SWEATER IS FULL OF HOLES.

YOU ARE EATING IT.

I AM NOT!

I PICKED AT IT A LITTLE.

I'M NERVOUS

ABOUT MY DATE.

BUT IF I WAS REALLY

TURNING INTO A MOTH,

I'D BE IN A COCOON.

WOW.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

ECHO, I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND

HOW ATTRACTED I AM TO...

THOSE LANTERNS.

ADAM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY EYES?

[ECHO SCREAMS]

AH!

I'M TURNING INTO A MOTH!

[STUDENTS SCREAM IN PANIC]

[SCREAMING]

DON'T LOOK AT ME, I'M HIDEOUS!

YEAH.

THAT'S WHY I SCREAMED.

[YELPING IN FRIGHT]

OH...

THANK GOODNESS,

IT WAS ONLY A DREAM.

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

AH!

AH!

OH...

OH, THANK GOODNESS

IT WAS JUST A NIGHTMARE,

AND I'M NOT... DERBY.

AND NOT A MOTH,

WHICH IS ALSO GOOD.

DERBY,

YOU WERE RIGHT.

I HAVE TO STOP USING

THE PHEROMONES.

CONCLUSION...

"DERBY... WAS... RIGHT."

[♪♪]

IF YOU TAKING ME

TO PLAY PINATA,

YOU SHOULD KNOW

I NOT FROM MEXICO EITHER.

NO, I HAVE A SPECIAL

SURPRISE FOR YOU.

WELCOME TO TET TRUNG THU!

[GASPS IN DELIGHT]

BANYAN TREE?

MOONCAKE!

HAT DANCER!

IVY...

THIS FESTIVAL REMIND ME

SO MUCH OF HOME.

THAT WAS THE IDEA.

NOW I MORE HOMESICK

THAN EVER!

WHY YOU SO CRUEL?

- AREN'T THOSE - LANTERNS BEAUTIFUL?

YEAH.

ALTHOUGH I AM NOT

ATTRACTED TO THEM AT ALL.

OKAY.

- I WAS JUST TRYING - TO MAKE CONVERSATION.

HOW ABOUT

WE SHARE A MOONCAKE?

UM, OKAY,

I GUESS.

[SPLASH]

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ROMANTIC.

AFTER ALL, THIS IS A DATE.

- I DON'T KNOW - IF I'D CALL IT A DATE.

I MEAN, IT'S SEPTEMBER 12TH,

SO I GUESS IT'S A "DATE"

IN THAT SENSE.

AND TOMORROW WILL BE

SEPTEMBER 13TH,

AND THIS "DATE" WILL BE OVER.

YOU KNOW, I JUST REALIZED

- I NEED TO GO CHECK ON - SOMETHING IN MY LAB.

BE RIGHT BACK.

ADAM, WAIT!

YES?

SAY HI TO THAT CABINET FOR ME.

WOW, THESE PHEROMONES

ARE TINGLY.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

LIKE YOU WOULDN'T DO

THE SAME THING.

[CRYING]

COME ON, DANG.

- YOU CAN'T JUST SIT THERE - CRYING ALL NIGHT.

RIGHT, SLAB?

OH, I DON'T CARE

IF HE CRIES OR NOT.

HE MIGHT WANT TO MOVE, THOUGH.

I'M ABOUT TO

RELIEVE MYSELF ON THIS TREE.

YOU RE-ENACTING

ANCIENT LEGEND OF CUOI?

NAH.

THIS IS WHERE

I ALWAYS RELIEVE MYSELF.

YOU FIND SOMEONE ELSE

TO CLEAN SCHOOL.

I GOING BACK TO VIETNAM.

DANG, DON'T GO!

TOO LATE!

AH!

[BICYCLE BELL JINGLES]

FAREWELL, FINNEGAN!

THERE YOU ARE.

I'VE MISSED YOU.

WELL, I'M PRETTY MISS-ABLE.

SOMETIMES, GIRLS MISS ME

EVEN WHEN I'M THERE.

I REMEMBER THIS ONE TIME WHEN...

STOP TALKING.

GOT IT.

KISS ME.

IT'S JUST LIKE THE PUPPET.

- IT'S JUST LIKE - THE PUPPET...

WOW, MY HEART'S FLUTTERING

LIKE A THOUSAND TINY WINGS.

[MOTHS FLAPPING]

[SCREAMS IN PANIC]

- GO AWAY! - GET OFF ME!

[SCREAMS]

AH!

[GIGGLING]

[LAUGHTER]

MOTHS ARE ATTRACTED TO

MOTH PHEROMONES.

I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

[GIGGLING]

DANG, YOU'RE STILL HERE!

YEAH.

I NOT HOMESICK ANYMORE.

I REALIZE

LIFE BETTER HERE.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE PEOPLE

WHO CARE ABOUT YOU.

NO.

WHEN MOTHS ATTACK IN VIETNAM,

THEY ALSO EAT UNDERPANTS.

COMIN' THROUGH!

NOTHING TO SEE.

[EVERYONE LAUGHING]

COULD SOMEONE GET THE DOOR?

PEACOCKS USE

BRIGHTLY COLORED FEATHERS,

- MOTHS SECRETE - A COLOGNE-LIKE SUBSTANCE

CALLED "PHEROMONES..."

WOW.

THAT WAS CRAZY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DREAMT

THAT I WAS ATTRACTED TO

MR. YOUNG.

HMM.

- GOATS LOCK HORNS - GORILLAS BEAT THEIR CHESTS...

[♪♪]

WELL, WELL, WELL.

SUDDENLY,

THEY'RE PAYING ATTENTION.

CONCLUSION...

DERBY IS IRRESISTIBLE.

ONE AT A TIME, LADIES.

- THERE'S PLENTY OF ME - TO GO AROUND.

OH, YEAH.

YOU LIKE THIS, DON'T YOU?

AH!

OH, A DREAM.

THANK GOODNESS, I'M NOT DERBY!

[♪♪]