Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

THERE HE IS!

- MR. TATER, THIS REPORTER - WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

[SCREAMS]

- YOU KNOW - THE RULES!

NO SKATEBOARDING IN THE HALL.

I'M CONFISCATING THIS.

WATCH OUT, COMING THROUGH.

WHOOP!

WHOA...

GO, FRYERS!

WHO HAS HEARD OF

THE WAR OF 1812?

- ALL RIGHT, CLASS, - LET'S GET STARTED...

[THUD]

THANK GOODNESS.

I THINK I FINALLY LOST HER.

YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY

FROM A WOMAN?

OF COURSE NOT.

BESIDES, MOMMY DROPPED

THOSE CHARGES

- AFTER I APOLOGIZED FOR MAKING - HER BUBBLE BATH TOO HOT.

THERE'S A REPORTER AFTER ME.

- I JUST KNOW - SHE'S GOING TO TRY TO PIN

SOME CAREER-DAMAGING

SCHOOL SCANDAL ON ME.

WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?

- BECAUSE I'VE DONE - SOME CAREER-DAMAGING,

SCANDALOUS THINGS!

LIKE BUYING THAT DISCOUNT "BEEF"

FROM AUSTRALIA.

WHAT EXACTLY IS "BEEF?"

TASMANIAN DEVIL.

OR THIS COULD BE ABOUT

THE "TOILET PAPER,"

OR THE EMERGENCY "EXITS,"

OR THE LUNCH "LADY."

MR. TATER, THERE YOU ARE!

[SCREAMS]

[WINDOW SMASHING]

- YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, - NEWSHOUND!

GET A LONGER SKIRT, DOLORES.

[♪♪♪]

♪ GOODBYE, SUMMER

HELLO, FALL ♪

- ♪ WE'VE BEEN TRYING - TO GET HERE ♪

♪ SINCE WE BOTH

WERE BARELY TWO-FEET TALL ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLIN' KID?

WHO YOU CALLIN' KID? ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLIN' KID? ♪

♪ CAN CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT ♪

♪ BUT I WON'T HEAR A WORD

WHERE I AM HERE ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLIN' KID? ♪

[♪♪♪]

EXTREE, EXTREE!

READ ALL ABOUT IT!

- I THOUGHT YOU EARNED - EXTREE MONEY

- PARTICIPATING IN - MEDICAL RESEARCH STUDIES.

NOT TRUE, IVY.

- I DO THOSE EXPERIMENTS - BECAUSE THEY HELP MANKIND.

SOMEDAY,

THESE NOSES I'M GROWING

ARE GOING TO HELP SOMEBODY

TO SMELL AGAIN.

NOSES?

I ONLY SEE ONE.

YEAH, THE OTHER ONE

IS ON MY LOWER BACK.

I PROBABLY WOULDN'T CHOOSE

THAT LOCATION AGAIN.

SO, I'M NOT SELLING THE PAPERS,

I'M GIVING THEM AWAY.

TURNS OUT THAT REPORTER

- WASN'T TRYING TO DO - A HATCHET JOB ON ME.

SHE JUST WANTED A QUOTE

FOR THEIR LEAD STORY.

"60% OFF

OUR ALREADY LOW PRICES?"

"RENOWNED ARTIST FERNANDO

PASSES AWAY."

HE WAS AN ART TEACHER HERE

BACK IN THE 1930s,

LONG BEFORE HE BECAME

A HOUSEHOLD NAME

AND THE MOST FAMOUS ARTIST

OF THE PAST CENTURY.

HMM, I FOUND YOUR QUOTE.

"FAMED ARTIST FER-WHO-ZIT?

NEVER HEARD OF HIM."

- THERE'S A PICTURE - OF FER-WHO-ZIT ON PAGE EIGHT...

AND NINE...

AND TEN.

WOW, HE WAS A BIG MAN.

- IT SAYS HE DIDN'T CREATE - ANY NEW PAINTINGS

WHILE HE WAS HERE.

I KNOW THIS PLACE

- SUCKS THE CREATIVE JUICES - OUT OF YOU...

BUT HE MUST HAVE DONE SOME ART.

MAYBE HIS WORK IS STILL HERE.

IF IT IS,

IT WOULD BE WORTH MILLIONS!

EXTREE, EXTREE!

READ ALL ABOUT...

HEY!

THIS IS MY TURF, BUDDY!

NO, DERBY, I'M GIVING

AWAY THE NEWSPAPERS.

TRYING TO UNDERCUT

THE COMPETITION.

- IF IT'S A NEWSIE WAR YOU WANT, - IT'S A NEWSIE WAR YOU'LL GET.

OW!

I THINK YOU BROKE MY NOSE.

[MURMURING IN EXCITEMENT]

DID YOU CHECK?

REALLY?

THIS IS WHAT IT'S COME TO?

TEARING APART OUR SCHOOL

ON THE OFF CHANCE

THERE'S A DRAWING, A DOODLE,

- A SKETCH THAT CAN BE TRACED - TO FERNANDO?

[JACKHAMMER RATTLING]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FELLA?

[JACKHAMMER RATTLING]

HEY, ADAM!

- DO YOU REALLY THINK - THE PAINTINGS

WOULD BE HIDDEN IN THE FLOOR?

NO.

I'M JUST ELIMINATING

THE COMPETITION.

MAYBE THEY'RE IN THE SCIENCE...

[WAILING]... LAB!

[THUD]

- [IVY, MUFFLED]: OKAY, - I'LL CHECK THE DRAMA ROOM FIRST.

- NOW I'LL CHECK - THE SCIENCE LAB.

ECHO, PLEASE.

THERE'S NO REASON

TO TEAR APART MY LAB!

BECAUSE

I ALREADY HAVE.

- I REALIZED WE'VE BEEN GOING - ABOUT THIS THE WRONG WAY.

- WE SHOULDN'T BE USING - BRUTE FORCE

TO FIND THE PAINTINGS,

WE SHOULD BE USING SCIENCE.

EXCELLENT.

WE'RE MAKING POISON

TO ELIMINATE THE COMPETITION.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S POSSIBLE - TO FIND THE PAINTINGS

WITHOUT ELIMINATING

THE COMPETITION.

OKAY, WE'LL TRY IT YOUR WAY...

FOR NOW.

CANVAS WAS EXPENSIVE.

- SOMEONE MIGHT HAVE - PAINTED OVER FERNANDO'S WORK.

THIS MILD DISSOLVING AGENT

- WILL STRIP AWAY - A SINGLE LAYER OF PAINT.

- I GOT THIS FROM - THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE.

EW.

- IT'S CREEPY THE WAY - HIS BALD HEAD FOLLOWS YOU

WHEREVER YOU GO.

HEY, IT LOOKS LIKE

THE "HOME ALONE" POSTER.

- LET'S TRY TAKING OFF - ANOTHER LAYER.

KIND OF PRETTY FOR A BALD GIRL.

THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG.

- LET'S JUST GET - TO THE BOTTOM LAYER.

[SIZZLING]

NO!

THAT'S UNDILUTED FORMULA!

[♪♪♪]

DIG!

DIG LIKE THE WORMS YOU ARE!

DO YOU REALLY THINK

THE PAINTINGS ARE HIDDEN

IN THE GROUND?

NO.

I'M JUST ELIMINATING

THE COMPETITION.

- WELL, THERE'S NOTHING - IN THE DRAMA...

[WAILING]: ROOM!

[THUD]

[COINS PLINKING]

I CAN'T DIG THROUGH

ALL THE SHINY

GOLD-COLORED METAL.

AW, FORGET IT.

- BESIDES, I'M SURE TATER - WON'T LIKE US

DIGGING UP SCHOOL GROUNDS.

WATCH YOUR BACKS!

COMIN' THROUGH!

[SCREAMS]

[THUD]

IT'S TOO BAD NO ONE

FOUND ANY PAINTINGS.

- THE SCHOOL COULD'VE - USED THE MONEY.

I KNOW WHAT I'D DO

WITH THE MONEY...

[DREAM HARP CHIMES]

MILLIONS? MILLIONS...

I TELL YA, MILLIONS!

YES, I WOULD LIKE

EXTRA CHEESE ON MY PIZZA.

THAT'S RIGHT,

I'D SPEND MY DAYS

DAYDREAMING ABOUT

PAST DAYDREAMS.

OKAY, CLASS,

WE HAVE AN EXCITING NEW TOPIC

TO COVER TODAY.

WHO HAS HEARD OF

THE WAR OF 1812?

HOW LONG HAS SHE

BEEN TEACHING THIS?

WELL, WE KNOW SHE WASN'T

TEACHING IT IN 1811.

WAIT!

MRS. BYRNE, HOW OLD ARE YOU?

AGE IS BUT A NUMBER.

A FOUR-DIGIT NUMBER?

- WERE YOU BY ANY CHANCE - A TEACHER HERE

AT THE SAME TIME AS FERNANDO?

AH, FERNANDO!

- I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT HIM - IN AGES.

THE RASCAL.

HE HAD SUCH AN APPETITE

FOR LIFE...

AND FOOD.

MOSTLY FOOD.

WOW, WAS HE FAT.

SO YOU KNEW HIM.

OH, YES.

INTIMATELY.

EW!

TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

NO.

WE NEED MORE INFORMATION.

EXACTLY HOW WELL

DID YOU KNOW FERNANDO?

I KNEW EVERY BIT OF THE MAN.

- WELL, THERE WERE SOME CREASES - IN HIS ARMS

I JUST COULDN'T GET TO.

[GAGGING]

NOW WE HAVE MORE INFORMATION.

ARE YOU HAPPY?

DID HE PAINT WHILE HE WAS HERE?

CONSTANTLY.

- AND DID HE LEAVE - HIS WORK AT THE SCHOOL?

ALL OF IT.

- AND DID HE TELL YOU - WHERE HE PUT IT?

ABSOLUTELY.

HE SHOWED ME.

[EVERYONE, EAGERLY]:

WHERE IS IT?

I DON'T REMEMBER.

[GROANING IN DISAPPOINTMENT]

WHICH IS STRANGE,

- BECAUSE I'M KNOWN - FOR MY GOOD MEMORY.

NOW...

WHO HAS HEARD OF

THE WAR OF 1812?

OF COURSE!

MRS. BYRNE WAS HERE

- AT THE SAME TIME - AS FERNANDO.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT VERY BRIGHT?

- I WAS HOPING - IT WAS SOME OTHER REASON,

BUT, NOPE, YOU NAILED IT.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

IS THIS SOME KIND OF

INTERVENTION?

BECAUSE I CAN QUIT

THESE ANTI-GAS PILLS

ANYTIME I WANT!

[EVERYONE]: NO!

WE JUST WANT YOU TO REMEMBER

WHERE THE PAINTINGS ARE.

YOU KNOW, THERE IS

A SCIENTIFIC TECHNIQUE

CALLED "REGRESSION THERAPY."

- YOU CAN STIMULATE - THE AREA OF THE BRAIN

THAT DEALS WITH MEMORY RECALL,

- BY SPEAKING TO THE SUBJECT - IN A CERTAIN TONE.

- WELL, IT'S WORTH - A SHOT.

- [SCREAMING] - WHERE ARE THE PAINTINGS?

TELL US WHERE THEY ARE!

ONCE AGAIN,

SCIENCE FAILS US.

THAT'S NOT THE TONE

I HAD IN MIND.

LET ME GIVE IT A TRY.

I'D LIKE YOU TO LISTEN TO

THE SOUND OF MY VOICE

AND THE SOUND OF THE WORDS

THAT I AM USING...

YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF RELAXING

TO THE WORDS.

PICTURE A CLOCK

AS THE HANDS TURN BACKWARDS,

AND LET THE YEARS MELT AWAY...

ONE YEAR...

FIVE YEARS...

TEN YEARS...

BACK AS FAR

AS YOU CAN REMEMBER...

- I REMEMBER YOU TELLING ME - TO REMEMBER,

BUT I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT.

IT DIDN'T WORK!

IT WAS A LONG SHOT.

- HYPNOSIS LIKE THIS - ONLY WORKS

- ON THE MOST - SIMPLE-MINDED OF SUBJECTS.

DARN IT!

[CRYING] MOMMY'S MAD!

[ALL WEEPING]

[BLUBBERING LIKE BABIES]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

- THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY - TO ACCESS MRS. BYRNE'S MEMORY.

YOU'RE ALWAYS WORKING.

- YOU NEVER HELP - WITH THE CHILDREN!

OWIE!

HE PULLED MY HAIR!

DERBY, DO YOU WANT A TIME-OUT?

GET YOUR FINGER

OUT OF YOUR NOSE!

AND YOUR OTHER NOSE.

AND YOUR OTHER, OTHER NOSE!

WILL YOU TAKE ME POTTY?

ASK YOUR MOTHER.

- OKAY, I'LL BRING THEM - OUT OF IT.

[SNAPPING FINGERS]

THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT

THAT I HAVE TO GO POTTY.

- OKAY, SINCE HYPNOSIS - DIDN'T WORK,

WE NEED ANOTHER WAY

- TO TRANSPORT MRS. BYRNE - BACK IN TIME.

BACK TO THE 1930.

YOU'RE RIGHT!

WE NEED A TIME MACHINE.

- DERBY, THAT TECHNOLOGY - DOESN'T EXIST.

NOT YET,

BUT YOU'RE SMART.

- YOU COULD INVENT ONE - IN THE FUTURE.

- THEN USE IT TO BRING IT - BACK TO THIS MOMENT,

- PICK US UP, - AND TAKE US INTO THE PAST.

IN FACT,

YOU SHOULD BE ARRIVING...

RIGHT...

ABOUT...

NOW!

I GUESS IT DIDN'T WORK.

OR IT DID WORK,

BUT INSTEAD OF STOPPING

IN THIS TIME TO PICK US UP,

SELFISH ADAM TRAVELED STRAIGHT

BACK TO THE 1930s HIMSELF

- SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO - SHARE THE FORTUNE WITH US.

LET'S GET HIM!

YEAH!

WAIT!

I THINK WHAT ADAM

WAS TRYING TO SAY WAS

WE NEED TO PROVIDE MRS. BYRNE

WITH A VISUAL STIMULATION...

- RECREATE THE 1930s - RIGHT HERE AT FINNEGAN.

- ACTUALLY, - I WAS THINKING

- MY TIME MACHINE - WOULD BE ARRIVING

RIGHT ABOUT... NOW!

- OKAY, WE'LL TRY IT - YOUR WAY.

[♪♪♪]

GEE WHIZ, MRS. BYRNE, MA'AM.

- CARE TO JOIN ME - IN A ROUSING GAME

OF KICK THE CAN?

[CAN CLATTERS]

WANNA PLAY AGAIN?

HI THERE, MRS. BYRNE.

WHO ARE YOU?

- I'M ONE OF - YOUR STUDENTS.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

- JUST YESTERDAY, - YOU WERE TEACHING US

ABOUT THE WAR OF 1812.

THERE WAS A WAR

IN 1812?

REALLY?

WE SHOULD

HEAD INSIDE SOON.

- WE'VE GOT ART STUDIES - WITH MR. FERNANDO.

[SHOUTS] FERNANDO?

HE'S HERE?

I IMAGINE SO.

AFTER ALL, THIS IS

A TYPICAL, AUTHENTIC DAY

AT FINNEGAN HIGH

IN THE 1930s, RIGHT?

RIGHT YOU ARE, DOLL FACE.

- [WHISPERING] - "DOLL FACE?"

[QUIETLY]

THAT'S WHAT MOBSTERS SAY.

- PLUS, YOUR FACE DOES KIND OF - LOOK LIKE A DOLL'S.

I THOUGHT I WAS

YOUR DOLL FACE.

TAKE ME SOMEWHERE.

LET'S GO DANCING!

- [QUIETLY] - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- YOU SAID TO RECREATE - THE 1930s.

AT SCHOOL!

YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS!

- [IN COCKNEY ACCENT] - ALLO, GUV'NOR.

YOU DON'T BY ANY CHANCE NEED

YOUR CHIMNEY BRISTLED, DO YOU?

[♪♪♪]

DERBY!

- WHY WOULD THERE BE - A COCKNEY CHIMNEY SWEEP

AT FINNEGAN HIGH?

WELL, EXCUSE ME.

- I DON'T SEE YOU COMING UP - WITH ANY BIG IDEAS.

I CAME UP WITH

THIS ENTIRE BIG IDEA.

UH, MRS. BYRNE,

- MR. FERNANDO ASKED US - TO FETCH HIS PAINTINGS.

- DO YOU REMEMBER - WHERE HE LEFT THEM?

OH, THE PAINTINGS?

YES!

AH, SUCH LOVELY PAINTINGS.

YES, YES, THEY'RE LOVELY!

- DO YOU REMEMBER - WHERE HE LEFT THEM?

LEFT WHAT?

THE PAINTINGS.

OH, THE PAINTINGS?

[TIGHTLY] YES.

AH, SUCH LOVELY PAINTINGS.

YES, YES, THEY'RE LOVELY!

DO YOU REMEMBER

WHERE HE LEFT THEM?

LEFT WHAT?

THIS IS NOT WORKING.

I DON'T KNOW.

- WHY DON'T YOU GO AROUND - ONE MORE TIME?

ECHO'S RIGHT.

WE NEED A HEAVY HITTER.

[WHISTLES]

FERNANDO?

SI. SI.

FERNANDO IS HERE.

FERNANDO!

MY LOVE!

YES...

FERNANDO YOUR LOVE.

WHY COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN

THE ADORABLE LOLLIPOP GIRL?

OH, FERNANDO,

YOU LOOK

BETTER THAN EVER.

SERIOUSLY?

I MEAN, GRACIAS, MI CARIDA.

NOW, UM,

DO YOU RECALL

WHERE I LEFT

MY PRECIOUS PINTURAS?

FORGET YOUR PAINTINGS.

- HERE'S A REAL - WORK OF ART.

[SHUDDERING IN HORROR]

YUCK.

- YOU MIGHT WANT TO - STRETCH OUT THAT CANVAS.

I REALLY SHOULD

GET BACK TO MY PAINTINGS.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!

SOMETHING'S NOT MAKING SENSE.

NOW KISS ME.

WE'RE LOSING HER!

DO SOMETHING!

FOR THE PAINTINGS!

COME ON, NOW,

GIVE THE OLD BIRD A SNOG.

[GAGGING]

NOW, LET ME TAKE YOU

TO YOUR PAINTINGS.

[EVERYONE]: YES!

[♪♪♪]

COME IN,

AND I'LL SHOW YOU SOME OF

FERNANDO'S GREATEST WORK.

- THE PAINTINGS ARE - IN YOUR CLASSROOM?

OF COURSE.

- I WANTED TO PUT THEM SOMEWHERE - I WOULD EASILY REMEMBER.

[GASPING]

AND NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I MUST FIND

MY MOUSTACHIOED VIRTUOSO.

I LOVE IT WHEN HE PLAYS

HARD TO GET.

- YOU THINK THERE ARE MORE - BEHIND THAT ONE?

[YELPS]

LET'S CALL THAT A "YES."

- QUICK, PUT THEM - IN THAT BOX,

- THEN WE DON'T HAVE TO - LOOK AT THEM!

OH, THANK GOODNESS, SHE'S GONE.

DID SHE SHOW YOU THE PAINTINGS?

UH... YEAH.

WELL, WHERE ARE THEY?

FORGET IT.

YOU DON'T WANT TO

LOOK AT THEM.

OH, SO THAT'S YOUR GAME.

I DO ALL THE DIRTY WORK,

- AND YOU GUYS TRY - AND CUT ME OUT OF THE SCORE.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

NO!

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- I AM NOT LEAVING THIS SPOT - UNTIL I SEE THOSE...

[MRS. BYRNE]: FERNIE!

IS THAT YOU?

I CHANGED,

AND I'M READY TO POSE

FOR ANOTHER PORTRAIT!

I'VE GOT TO GET OUT HERE!

- REMEMBER THAT - SLINKY LITTLE DRESS

YOU LOVED SO MUCH?

WELL, IT JUST SLINKED

DOWN TO THE FLOOR.

HUH.

I COULD'VE SWORN I HEARD HIM.

FERNANDO?

[♪♪♪]

- THOSE PAINTINGS MAY BE - WORTH A FORTUNE,

BUT THE WORLD IS BETTER OFF

IF THEY STAY BURIED

FOREVER.

I'M A LITTLE

UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS.

- MAYBE WE SHOULD PUT - MORE DIRT OVER IT.

I'VE GOT A CEMENT GUY.

WE COULD PAVE THE WHOLE QUAD.

GOOD IDEA.

- NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO ENDURE - THE TRAUMA OF LOOKING AT THEM

EVER AGAIN.

[ALL SHUDDERING IN HORROR]

[♪♪♪]

WHOA, I MUST HAVE FAINTED.

[GROANS]

I'M SURE THE COAST

IS CLEAR BY NOW.

[TAPPING ON LID]

HUH...

I WONDER WHY THAT WON'T OPEN.

WELL, I'LL JUST CALL SOMEBODY

AND HAVE THEM COME GET ME OUT.

[BEEPING CELL PHONE]

OH, NO SIGNAL.

THAT'S JUST SUPER.

- WELL, AT LEAST I WON'T HAVE TO - LOOK AT MRS. BYRNE AGAIN

ANYTIME SOON.

HMM.

[SCREAMS]

[BANGING ON LID]

LET ME OUT OF HERE!

[GASPING IN PANIC]

[SCREAMS]

[MUFFLED BANGING AND SCREAMING]

[♪♪♪]