Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

- AH, GOOD MORNING, - MR. YOUNG.

BEAUTIFUL DAY, ISN'T IT?

I OVERSLEPT.

- OH, A LITTLE EXTRA SLEEP - IS GOOD FOR YOU NOW AND THEN.

- IVY SHOWERED FIRST AND - USED UP ALL THE HOT WATER.

- THEN, MY LOVING SISTER - LEFT WITHOUT ME,

- AND I DIDN'T HAVE TIME - TO EAT BREAKFAST.

NO BREAKFAST?

WELL, EVERYBODY KNOWS

- BREAKFAST IS THE MOST - IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY.

COME WITH ME.

- I THINK I HAVE - SOME CEREAL

IN THE OFFICE.

HUH.

THAT'S ODD.

- LET ME SEE IF I CAN - FIND THAT CEREAL.

[MECHANISM HUMMING]

WHAT THE...?

AAH!

THANK YOU, MR. TATER.

THAT REALLY HIT THE SPOT.

♪ GOODBYE, SUMMER

HELLO, FALL ♪

- ♪ WE'VE BEEN TRYING - TO GET HERE ♪

♪ SINCE WE BOTH

WERE BARELY TWO FEET TALL ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ♪

- ♪ YOU CAN CALL ME - WHAT YOU WANT ♪

♪ BUT I WON'T HEAR A WORD WHERE

I AM HID ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ♪♪

- THIS NEW - SECURITY SYSTEM

WILL MAKE SURE NO ONE'S ABLE

- TO SNEAK - INTO THE SCHOOL AT NIGHT

- AND SET UP A PRANK - LIKE THAT AGAIN.

AND, BY USING THESE TEDDY CAMS,

NO ONE WILL SUSPECT

THEY ARE UNDER SURVEILLANCE.

HEY, ADAM,

- WE'RE RAISING MONEY - FOR THE STUDENT COUNCIL

- BY HAVING A COMPUTER - PAIR PEOPLE UP

WITH THEIR PERFECT MATCH.

AHEM.

A COMPUTER?

LOVE IS UNQUANTIFIABLE.

IT'S THE ELECTRICITY

BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE,

THE UNSPOKEN LANGUAGE

WHEN THEIR EYES MEET.

- NO COMPUTER CAN FIND YOU - THAT PERFECT SOMEONE.

I AGREE.

YOU SEE?

- ECHO'S NOT GOING TO SIGN UP - FOR SOME MATCH-MAKING FARCE.

WE ARE SO MUCH ALIKE.

I'VE ALREADY SIGNED UP.

IT'LL BE FUN.

EXACTLY MY POINT.

ECHO AND I BOTH LOVE

TO HAVE FUN.

- GIVE ME ONE - OF THOSE FORMS.

WE ARE SO MUCH ALIKE.

OH, GOOD.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

I'VE BEEN TRYING

- TO FILL OUT - THIS QUESTIONNAIRE

- SO THE COMPUTER - MATCHES ME WITH ECHO,

- BUT THESE QUESTIONS - ARE IMPOSSIBLE.

I MEAN, HOW DO I KNOW

IF HER FAVOURITE RODENT

- IS A FLYING SQUIRREL, - A CAPYBARA,

OR A GREAT BASIN

POCKET MOUSE?

JUST DO WHAT I DID.

PUT ALL THREE.

I'M SUBMITTING

- EVERY COMBINATION - OF ANSWERS.

- THAT WAY, I'LL BE MATCHED UP - WITH EVERY GIRL IN SCHOOL.

INTERESTING PLAN,

- BUT I THINK I'LL JUST USE - THE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION.

ELIMINATION?

- HOW WILL YOU GET RID OF - EVERY OTHER GUY IN SCHOOL?

NO, NO, I'LL JUST...

I'VE GOT IT!

A FAKE SCAVENGER HUNT

THAT WILL TAKE THEM TO

EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE.

- THE ONLY THING - THEY'LL FIND...

IS DISAPPOINTMENT.

I MEAN, I'LL ASK

QUESTIONS IN CLASS

- WHICH WILL ALLOW ME - TO FIGURE OUT, FOR EXAMPLE,

- IF ECHO WOULD - DESCRIBE HERSELF

- AS A CITY SLICKER, - BEACH BUM,

OR COUNTRY KID.

OKAY, CLASS, LATER THIS YEAR

WE'LL BE DISSECTING A PIG.

- BUT WE WON'T - BE ABLE TO DO THAT

UNLESS WE CAN CATCH ONE.

- DOES ANYONE HERE - KNOW HOW TO HOG-TIE A PIG?

ECHO?

YEE-HAW!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

HOLD ON A SECOND!

[RUMMAGING, FUMBLING]

OKAY. GO.

WHOA!

- HOLD STILL, - LITTLE PIGGY.

WOW!

WAY TO GO!

I GUESS YOU'D SAY

YOU'RE SOMETHING

OF A COUNTRY KID.

- I DON'T KNOW - ABOUT THAT.

- I LEARNED IT FROM A MOVIE I SAW - DOWNTOWN.

AH! DOWNTOWN IN THE CITY.

YEAH, AFTER A DAY

AT THE BEACH.

SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY FUN DAY.

[SQUEALING]

GREAT!

- YOU BROUGHT IN - ALL YOUR STUDENTS' FORMS.

NO, THESE ARE DERBY'S.

- OH. JUST ADD THEM - TO HIS PILE.

- I SEE THE COMPUTER DATING THING - IS GOING WELL.

WE'VE RAISED OVER $3,000,

SOME OF IT FROM

NOT DERBY!

- I JUST DROPPED BY - TO SAY

WHAT UP?

- I'M NOT LETTING YOU SEE - ECHO'S FORM.

- BESIDES, IT'S ALREADY - IN THE SAFE.

THE STUDENT COUNCIL

TAKES SECURITY VERY SERIOUSLY.

- WE DON'T JUST LEAVE - VALUABLE ITEMS LYING AROUND.

WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WANTED

TO SEE ECHO'S QUESTIONNAIRE?

AND IF I DID WANT TO,

WHY WOULDN'T YOU LET ME?

IT IS MY DUTY

TO KEEP THOSE FORMS PRIVATE.

- THERE'S A LOT OF PERSONAL STUFF - IN THEM.

FOR EXAMPLE,

- DID YOU KNOW HUTCH ANDERSON - LOVES ROLLER SKATING?

WELL, I'M OFF TO THE CAFETERIA.

- MOVE IT OR LOSE IT, - GARBAGE CAN!

[CRASHING]

WHOO...

- I DON'T THINK PERSON - SUPPOSED TO BE IN THAT POSITION.

- ARE YOU TALKING - TO HER OR TO ME?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

- OKAY, ECHO'S - QUESTIONNAIRE

- IS IN THE STUDENT - COUNCIL OFFICE.

- GETTING THERE - SHOULD BE EASY,

- THANKS TO THIS BLUEPRINT - OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL.

- YOU KNOW - I WORK HERE, RIGHT?

- I THINK I CAN FIND MY WAY - AROUND SCHOOL.

YEAH, I HAD TO

DO THIS ANYWAY.

- I HAVE A HARD TIME REMEMBERING - WHERE MY ENGLISH CLASS IS.

- IT'S RIGHT HERE - ON MY LEFT BUTT CHEEK.

I BELIEVE YOU!

MY KEY ONLY OPENS

THE DOORS INSIDE.

I STILL NEED A WAY

INTO THE SCHOOL.

- WELL, WE WOULDN'T - HAVE THIS PROBLEM

- IF YOU'D LET ME BRING - MY CATAPULT.

- IT WOULD'VE BEEN - A SIMPLE FLING

UP TO THE SECOND FLOOR,

- STICK TO THE WALL - WITH SUCTION CUPS,

- GLASS CUTTER - ON THE WINDOW,

- STICK YOUR HAND IN - TO UNLOCK IT,

AND VOILA, YOU'RE IN.

THAT WINDOW'S OPEN.

THAT'LL WORK TOO.

- YOU'RE STAYING OUT HERE - AS MY LOOKOUT.

WE'LL MAINTAIN RADIO CONTACT.

FINE.

- WE'LL NEED SOME SORT - OF SECRET CODE

- FOR WHEN YOU GET TO THE - STUDENT COUNCIL OFFICE.

HOW ABOUT, "I'M AT THE

STUDENT COUNCIL OFFICE"?

- GREAT! LET ME - WRITE IT DOWN.

I WOULD BE HONOURED

TO MOP YOUR STAGE ON TOUR,

LADY GAGA.

- [DERBY, LOUDLY]: WHAT - DO YOU SEE IN THERE?

SHH!

DANG'S ASLEEP.

HIS BED IS BLOCKING THE DOOR.

- [DERBY, LOUDLY]: - USE THE MAGNET!

- [QUIETLY]: - USE THE MAGNET.

[CLICK, MAGNET HUMS POWERFULLY]

[CLINK]

WHOA!

NO, LEAF MONKEY.

THAT LADY GAGA'S FANCY HAT.

[LETS OUT A BREATH]

THE BED WON'T SLIDE.

- THERE'S COOKING SPRAY - IN THE FRONT POUCH.

OKAY.

AND I ALSO MADE YOU A SANDWICH.

[CLICK, MAGNET HUMS POWERFULLY]

[SCRAPING]

[CLICK, HUMMING STOPS]

[CLICK, HUMMING STARTS]

[BED SCRAPES FLOOR,

[SMACKS DOOR]

- [DANG, MUMBLING]: - GAGA TOUR BUS, VERY BUMPY...

DERBY, I'M IN THE HALLWAY,

- BUT THERE ARE CAMERAS - EVERYWHERE.

WOW!

- WHEN DID THEY FIND THE TIME - TO INSTALL THEM

AND ALL THOSE

DECORATIVE TEDDY BEARS?

- THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN - SO MUCH EASIER

- IF SOME JOKER - HADN'T PRANKED TATER.

JOKER?

I PREFER THE TERM

"GAGMEISTER GENERAL."

THAT WAS YOU?

YOU'LL BE FINE.

- JUST STICK TO THE PLAN - AND HUG THE WALLS.

OKAY, I'VE MADE IT

PAST THE LOCKERS.

GREAT.

EVERYTHING IS WORKING PERFECTLY.

- I'LL MAKE SURE DANG - IS STILL ASLEEP.

I JUST NEED MY FLASHLIGHT.

- [ITEMS CLUNKING, - FEEDBACK WHINING]

THERE'S MY TAMBOURINE!

- [DANG]: IS IT - MORNING ALREADY,

LEAF MONKEY?

UH-OH,

I THINK YOU WOKE UP DANG.

WHOA!

WHY DO I SMELL BUTTER?

HE'S COMING!

HE'S COMING!

- HE'S PROBABLY STILL GROGGY. JUST - TRY TO BLEND IN.

SO THIRSTY.

- [WHISPERING]: - HE WANTS A DRINK!

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

DON'T WORRY.

I TAPED SOMETHING

- TO THE SIDE OF THE - DRINKING FOUNTAIN.

OKAY, I'M HERE.

- WHERE? - THE STUDENT COUNCIL OFFICE?

YES.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW THAT

IF YOU DON'T TELL ME

THE SECRET CODE.

"I'M AT

THE STUDENT COUNCIL OFFICE."

- OKAY. LET ME CHECK - THE ENCRYPTION CYPHER.

EXCELLENT.

- YOU'RE AT - THE STUDENT COUNCIL OFFICE.

IT'S PADLOCKED.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET IN?

- CHECK THE FIRST LOCKER - TO YOUR RIGHT.

[DERBY'S VOICE]:

LOOK IN THE NEXT LOCKER.

WHAT'S THIS?

A TRAMPOLINE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

- WHEN IT COMES TO SNEAKY, - I THINK OF EVERYTHING.

WHERE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS?

RIGHT HERE.

I TOLD YOU,

I THINK OF EVERYTHING.

COULD YOU READ THEM TO ME?

"FIRST, I MUST INFORM YOU

- "THAT YOU SHOULD CONSULT - A PHYSICIAN

- BEFORE BEGINNING - ANY EXERCISE PROGRAM..."

- WOULD YOU JUST READ ME - THE INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE?

OKAY...

"UNFOLD THE TRAMPOLINE.

"THEN ATTACH THE PIVOT SPRING

- BETWEEN THE TORSO FRAME - AND THE SPRING POST."

- OKAY. THAT SEEMS - TO MAKE SENSE.

DERBY?

WHAT ARE YOU

DOING HERE?

THE SAME THING YOU ARE, SIR.

REALLY?

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DID TAI CHI.

THERE ARE LOTS OF THINGS

YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME.

FOR EXAMPLE, I DO TAI CHI.

ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

I FIND THAT FOCUSING THE MIND

SOLELY ON THE MOVEMENTS

OF THE FORM

- HELPS TO BRING ABOUT - A STATE OF MENTAL CALM

AND CLARITY.

- I COULD USE - A LITTLE MENTAL CALM

RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

THEN, SHALL WE?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

OW!

LET'S BEGIN WITH THE

TSO LOU HSI NIU PU.

AH, MY FAVOURITE

OF THE NEW POOS.

NEXT, THE FOUR CORNERS.

AH, THE FOUR CORNERS.

WHAT CORNERS?

THE TRAMPOLINE IS ROUND.

- DERBY, WHAT ARE - YOU TALKING ABOUT?

SORRY, I FORGOT ABOUT YOU.

- I WAS IN A STATE - OF MENTAL CALM

AND CLARITY.

- HOW ABOUT I - TAKE THE LEAD?

AS YOU WISH.

- "GRASP A LEG - AND PUT IT ON THE BOTTOM."

GOT IT.

AND NOW ANOTHER LEG.

"AND NOW THE OTHER TWO LEGS."

OTHER TWO LEGS?

I USUALLY DO TAI CHI

WITH MY DOG.

"NEXT... PIVOT SPRING."

THE PIVOT SPRING.

FOUND IT!

"AND TWIST."

"AND TWIST."

"AND TWIST."

AAH! OH!

WHAT HAPPENED?

WERE YOU SNAKE-CREEPING DOWN

WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE

GRASPING THE SPARROW'S TAIL?

WELL,

I'M GOING TO THE CAFETERIA

AND GET SOME ICE FOR THIS.

WHILE I'M GONE,

- MAKE SURE THE WHITE CRANE - DOESN'T SPREAD WINGS.

GOOD ONE, SIR.

- HAVE YOU CONSULTED - A PHYSICIAN YET?

WHY?

TATER'S ON HIS WAY.

[DISTANT DOOR OPENING]

- NOW, DIVE HEAD-FIRST - THROUGH THE GLASS.

THAT'S YOUR PLAN?

DERBY! I FOUND A KEY!

[GRUNTS]

- [TATER]: LOOKING SHARP, - TEDDY CAMS.

I'M AT THE SAFE.

- IT'S VERY IMPORTANT - THAT YOU SLOW YOUR BREATHING

AND LISTEN FOR THE SOUNDS

OF THE TUMBLERS.

ABSOLUTE SILENCE

IS IMPERATIVE.

[CRUNCHING]

DERBY!

I CAN'T HEAR THE TUMBLERS.

SORRY.

APPLESAUCE WILL BE QUIETER.

[CLICKING]

[BLENDING]

[MORE BLENDING]

[DOOR RELEASES]

GOT IT!

COME ON!

[CLICKING]

[CLICKING]

[DOOR RELEASES]

A KEY?!

A KEY TO WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

STORAGE CABINET, I GUESS.

THE FORMS MUST BE IN THERE.

YES!

LOOKING FOR THIS?

OH, COME ON!

- SORRY, I'M NOT - LETTING YOU SEE

ECHO'S QUESTIONNAIRE.

- HOW'D YOU GET IN HERE? - THE SCHOOL IS LOCKED.

I BORROWED DERBY'S CATAPULT.

[ADAM]: QUESTION 57...

HER FAVOURITE ROOT VEGETABLE?

ALL I KNOW IS,

- IT'S DEFINITELY - NOT CELERY ROOT.

HEY, ADAM.

- CAN I ASK YOU - ABOUT THIS?

- THAT'S YOUR DATING - QUESTIONNAIRE.

HOW'D YOU GET THAT?

I ASKED IVY TO GIVE IT BACK.

ANYWAYS, I WAS THINKING...

- YEAH, IT WAS STUPID - AND POINTLESS,

AND WHO CARES

- WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE - ROOT VEGETABLE IS.

- ACTUALLY, I ANSWERED - ALL THE QUESTIONS TRUTHFULLY,

BUT NOW I WONDER

- IF I SHOULD HAVE TOLD - A LITTLE WHITE LIE

HERE AND THERE.

LIE?

OH, NO.

THE TRUTH

IS A RARE AND BEAUTIFUL THING.

AND HERE IN MY HANDS,

I AM HOLDING THE TRUTH.

HONOUR IT.

EMBRACE IT.

CAPTURE IT FOREVER.

IN FACT, I WILL.

ANYWAY, I'D LOVE TO STAY

AND CHAT WITH YOU,

- BUT I HAVE A LOT OF PAPERS - TO GRADE,

- SO DON'T FORGET - TO HAND THIS BACK TO IVY.

OUT YOU GO.

"CELERY ROOT."

WE ARE SO MUCH ALIKE.

WELL, ECHO IS ABOUT

TO BE MATCHED UP WITH...

ALAN SMALL.

WHAT?

OH, HEY, ALAN.

- LOOKS LIKE YOU AND I - WERE MATCHED UP.

OH. GREAT.

- I WAS THINKING WE COULD GO - TO THE SCIENCE CENTRE.

I LOVE SCIENCE.

'KAY.

"I LOVE SCIENCE."

I LOVE SCIENCE!

- YOUR STUPID - COMPUTER DATING PROGRAM

MUST HAVE A FLAW

IN ITS ALGORITHM.

- ECHO AND I GAVE ALL - THE SAME ANSWERS.

THE PROGRAM DOESN'T LOOK

- FOR PEOPLE - WITH THE SAME ANSWERS.

- IT LOOKS FOR - COMPATIBLE MATCHES.

YOU COULD BE PAIRED UP

- WITH THE LAST PERSON - YOU'D EXPECT.

- BUT IF THE COMPUTER SAYS - IT'S MEANT TO BE,

IT'S MEANT TO BE.

HELLO, IVY.

LOOKS LIKE YOU AND ME

ARE MEANT TO BE.

- OF COURSE, - COMPUTERS CAN BE WRONG.

THEN, AFTER

THE SCIENCE CENTRE,

YOU CAN COME OVER

- AND SEE MY COLLECTION - OF EXOTIC BACTERIA.

'KAY.

I'D LOVE TO SEE

THAT COLLECTION

OF BACTERIA!

THAT ALAN AND I...

WE ARE SO MUCH ALIKE.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

- [TATER]: - AH, IT'S SO NICE OF DERBY

TO JOIN ME FOR TAI CHI AGAIN

TONIGHT.

HMM.

THAT'S ODD.

[MECHANICAL HUMMING]

[GRUNTS]

OH... MELTED MARSHMALLOW?

[DOORS OPEN]

DERBY!

LOOK WHAT SOME JOKER DID TO ME!

YOU LOOK UPSET, SIR.

WHEN I'M UPSET,

I RETREAT TO "RIDE TIGER."

AND TWIST.

[♪♪♪]