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[♪♪♪]
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MR. YOUNG...
3
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ARE YOU BUSY
4
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AFTER SCHOOL TODAY?
5
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NO. WHY?
6
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BECAUSE YOU'RE BUSY
7
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AFTER SCHOOL TODAY.
8
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EVERY FACULTY MEMBER
9
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HAS TO ADVISE A CLUB OR TEAM,
10
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AND LET'S FACE IT...
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- [LAUGHING]
- YOU'RE NOT ADVISING A TEAM...
12
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- SO, WHAT KIND OF CLUBS
- DO YOU HAVE FOR ME?
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DRAMA.
14
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OR?
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DRAMA.
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SO, I DON'T GET A CHOICE?
17
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NO.
18
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- I DECIDED TO ASSIGN YOU
- THE SCHOOL PLAY
19
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AFTER GIVING THE MATTER
20
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- A GREAT DEAL
- OF CONSIDERATION...
21
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SHOULDN'T THE SCHOOL PLAY
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- BE SUPERVISED BY
- THE DRAMA TEACHER?
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YES, BUT AFTER BUDGET CUTBACKS,
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- WE ONLY HAVE HER FOR 45 MINUTES
- ONCE EVERY 18 DAYS...
25
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AND SHE'S USUALLY LATE.
26
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HIPPIE...
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OKAY, BUT WAIT.
28
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- THERE'S A SCIENCE CLUB,
- RIGHT?
29
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WHO'S THE ADVISOR FOR THAT?
30
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GET THESE LEECHES OFF OF ME!
31
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THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOU!
32
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WE ALL NEED A GOOD BLOODLETTING
33
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NOW AND THEN!
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WHY IS SHE RUNNING
35
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THE SCIENCE CLUB?
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COME BACK HERE, BOY,
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- SO I CAN DRILL A HOLE
- IN YOUR SKULL
38
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AND RELEASE THE DEMON!
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SHE WAS CHOSEN
40
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- AFTER A GREAT DEAL
- OF CONSIDERATION.
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[♪♪♪]
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♪ GOODBYE, SUMMER
43
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HELLO, FALL ♪
44
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♪ WE'VE BEEN TRYING
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TO GET HERE ♪
46
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♪ SINCE WE BOTH
47
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WERE BARELY TWO FEET TALL ♪
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♪ WHO YOU CALLIN' KID?
49
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WHO YOU CALLIN' KID ♪
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♪ WHO YOU CALLIN' KID? ♪
51
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♪ COULD CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT ♪
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♪ BUT I WON'T HEAR A WORD WHERE
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I AM HID ♪
54
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♪ WHO YOU CALLIN' KID? ♪♪
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- [DEADPAN]
- "AND ALL OUR DAYS
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"OF LIGHTED POOLS.
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"THE WAY TO DUSTY DEATH.
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OUT, OUT, BRIEF CANDLE."
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THAT WAS GOOD.
60
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- I REALLY BELIEVED YOU WANTED
- THAT BRIEF CANDLE OUT.
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WE'LL LET YOU KNOW.
62
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WHEN?
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YOU DIDN'T GET THE PART.
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- MAN, YOU SHOULD SEE
- SOME OF THESE PEOPLE.
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WHO, FORTRAN?
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YEAH, I SAW HIM IN "LES MIZ."
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HIS JEAN VALJEAN
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WAS PEDESTRIAN AT BEST.
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- I'M STARTING TO REGRET
- CHOOSING "MACBETH."
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- IS IT TOO TOUGH
- FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS?
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NOT AT ALL.
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YOU JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX,
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- 'CAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE
- TRANSPORTED
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TO ANOTHER PLACE
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AND TIME.
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YOU'RE INTO DRAMA?
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YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT ME,
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00:02:49,584 --> 00:02:51,626
BUT I HAVE THE GRACE OF AN ANGEL
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AND THE SOUL OF A POET,
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AND THE FEET OF A DUCK.
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MY PARENTS WERE UPSET AT FIRST,
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BUT I'M AN EXCELLENT SWIMMER.
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DERBY...
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OKAY, THE TRUTH IS,
85
00:03:04,107 --> 00:03:05,626
I NEED A NEW EXTRA-CURRICULAR.
86
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- IF I FALL ASLEEP
- IN SCIENCE CLUB AGAIN,
87
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I'LL WAKE UP WITH
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A HOLE IN MY HEAD,
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AND I NEED A HOLE IN THE HEAD
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LIKE I NEED A...
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HOLE IN THE HEAD?
92
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WHAT? NO!
93
00:03:16,459 --> 00:03:18,084
WHY WOULD ANYONE
94
00:03:18,085 --> 00:03:19,709
NEED A HOLE IN THEIR HEAD?
95
00:03:19,751 --> 00:03:21,375
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
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00:03:25,083 --> 00:03:26,935
- "COME TO MY WOMAN'S BREASTS, AND
- TAKE MY MILK FOR GALL,
97
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YOU MURDERING MINISTERS..."
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DERBY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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LADY MACBETH.
100
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SHE'S THE BEST CHARACTER.
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SHE'S ALSO A LADY.
102
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HER FIRST NAME IS "LADY."
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WHEN IT COMES TO SHAKESPEARE,
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I'M A TRADITIONALIST,
105
00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:42,268
- AND IN SHAKESPEARE'S TIME,
- THE CHICKS WERE PLAYED BY DUDES,
106
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LIKE IN VEGAS.
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"OUT, DAMNED SPOT!
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"OUT, I SAY!
109
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"HELL IS MURKY.
110
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"FIE, MY LORD, FIE!
111
00:04:00,542 --> 00:04:03,042
"WHAT NEED WE FEAR WHO KNOWS IT,
112
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"WHEN NONE CAN CALL
113
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OUR POWER TO ACCOUNT?
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"YET WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
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THE OLD MAN TO HAVE HAD
116
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SO MUCH BLOOD IN HIM."
117
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AND... SCENE!
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WOW.
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DERBY...
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I-I HAVE CHILLS.
121
00:04:24,626 --> 00:04:26,602
- I CANNOT IMAGINE GIVING
- THIS PART TO ANYONE BUT...
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IS THIS WHERE
123
00:04:27,690 --> 00:04:28,751
WE AUDITION?
124
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- ECHO, CONGRATULATIONS,
- YOU'RE OUR LADY MACBETH!
125
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- WE'VE ALL EXPERIENCED
- THE TERRIBLE SERVICE
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PROVIDED BY THE PONY EXPRESS,
127
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BUT...
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THANKS TO SCIENCE,
129
00:04:43,542 --> 00:04:45,303
- WE NOW HAVE A NEW WAY
- OF SENDING LETTERS.
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EMAIL?
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WHO SAID "EMU"?
132
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YOU'RE CLOSE!
133
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I'M TALKING ABOUT
134
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CARRIER PIGEONS!
135
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HERE'S A LETTER I WROTE
136
00:04:58,626 --> 00:05:00,647
TO MY GREAT AUNT FANNY
137
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,667
IN CONSTANTINOPLE.
138
00:05:02,709 --> 00:05:04,549
- DERBY, REACH IN
- AND GRAB YOURSELF A PIGEON.
139
00:05:06,042 --> 00:05:07,042
WHY IS IT ALWAYS DERBY?
140
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RELAX, THEY WON'T BITE.
141
00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:16,125
AH! AH! AH!
142
00:05:16,167 --> 00:05:17,876
THEY WILL, HOWEVER,
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GOUGE YOU
144
00:05:19,398 --> 00:05:20,876
WITH THEIR RAZOR-SHARP TALONS.
145
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AH! OW! OW!
146
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OH! OW!
147
00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:26,626
- HARD TO BELIEVE
- GLOBAL COMMUNICATION
148
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WASN'T ALWAYS
149
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THIS EASY.
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- I'LL GO GET
- SOMETHING
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00:05:30,918 --> 00:05:32,626
- TO SWEEP UP
- THESE FEATHERS
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WHILE THE REST OF YOU MARVEL
153
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,233
- AT THE WONDERS
- OF MODERN SCIENCE.
154
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OW! CUT IT OUT!
155
00:05:38,542 --> 00:05:39,768
- I HAVE WEBBED FEET,
- I'M ONE OF YOU!
156
00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:41,125
[WHIMPERING]
157
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:43,459
[♪♪♪]
158
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- I'LL TRY NOT TO KEEP YOU
- TOO LATE FOR REHEARSALS.
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6:00, MAYBE 7:00.
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- OH, MY MOM SAID
- I COULD STAY OUT
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AS LATE AS I NEED TO.
162
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LIKE I SAID, 10:00,
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MAYBE 11:00...
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THIRTY.
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MR. YOUNG, I READ
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A LITTLE OF THIS "MACBETH,"
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- AND WE SIMPLY CAN'T
- PUT IT ON.
168
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WHAT? WHY?
169
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,876
THE PLAY "MACBETH" IS CURSED.
170
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IT'S BAD LUCK TO EVEN
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SAY THE NAME "MACBETH."
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THAT'S WHY INSTEAD OF
173
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CALLING MACBETH, "MACBETH,"
174
00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:07,959
PEOPLE CALL MACBETH,
175
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,292
"THE SCOTTISH PLAY."
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- BUT YOU JUST
- SAID MACBETH,
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LIKE, FIVE TIMES.
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FINE.
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00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:16,459
- WE CAN'T PUT IT ON
- BECAUSE IT'S TOO VIOLENT,
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AND I PRIDE MYSELF
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- ON KEEPING THIS SCHOOL
- 100% VIOLENCE FREE.
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[PIGEON SCREECHING]
183
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MY EYE!
184
00:06:22,752 --> 00:06:24,459
THE PIGEON TOOK MY EYE!
185
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ALL RIGHT,
186
00:06:28,648 --> 00:06:29,792
THE TRUTH IS, IT'S...
187
00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:31,459
- [WHISPERING]
- THE WITCHES!
188
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,042
YOU'RE SCARED OF WITCHES?
189
00:06:33,083 --> 00:06:34,959
ME? NO! NO...
190
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,063
BUT SOME OF OUR MORE
191
00:06:36,064 --> 00:06:37,125
FRAGILE STUDENTS MIGHT BE.
192
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SO, NO "MACBETH."
193
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DO, UM,
194
00:06:40,357 --> 00:06:41,918
"ROMEO AND JULIET" INSTEAD.
195
00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:43,001
BUT ECHO IS ALREADY CAST
196
00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:44,042
AS LADY MACBETH.
197
00:06:44,083 --> 00:06:44,959
WELL, NOW SHE'S JULIET.
198
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,334
OOH...
199
00:06:46,375 --> 00:06:47,876
PASSION, ROMANCE...
200
00:06:47,918 --> 00:06:49,542
KISSING!
201
00:06:49,584 --> 00:06:51,709
I CANNOT WAIT TO FIND MY ROMEO!
202
00:06:51,751 --> 00:06:53,059
- I-I REALLY DON'T THINK
- ANYONE IN THIS SCHOOL
203
00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:54,209
IS AFRAID OF...
204
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:55,584
- WITCH!
- [SCREAMS]
205
00:06:55,626 --> 00:06:56,959
FOUND MY BROOM.
206
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,459
[CACKLES]
207
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:01,834
[CACKLING]
208
00:07:01,876 --> 00:07:03,396
- TAKE THE CHILDREN,
- THEY'RE TASTIER!
209
00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:09,772
NOW, ROMEO LIVED
210
00:07:09,773 --> 00:07:10,876
IN THE 16th CENTURY,
211
00:07:10,918 --> 00:07:12,189
LONG BEFORE
212
00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,459
BRUSHING AND BATHING,
213
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,894
- SO WE CAN ONLY ASSUME
- HE WAS HIDEOUSLY UGLY,
214
00:07:14,918 --> 00:07:16,918
AND PROBABLY A LITTLE RIPE.
215
00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:18,435
- WE WANT OUR PRODUCTION
- TO BE REALISTIC, DON'T WE?
216
00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:20,918
I GUESS SO.
217
00:07:20,959 --> 00:07:22,918
[SIGHS OFFICIOUSLY]
218
00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:23,959
TOO HANDSOME...
219
00:07:25,918 --> 00:07:26,918
TOO HANDSOME...
220
00:07:30,334 --> 00:07:31,334
TOO HANDSOME.
221
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,810
- WELL, WE HAVE TO
- CAST SOMEBODY.
222
00:07:36,834 --> 00:07:38,083
DON'T WORRY, I'M ON IT.
223
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:42,918
JULIET, MEET YOUR ROMEO.
224
00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:44,334
UM, REALLY?
225
00:07:44,375 --> 00:07:45,626
SURE.
226
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:47,584
BANDIT'S GOT CHOPS.
227
00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:49,209
- HEY, READY TO BE
- IN A PLAY, BANDIT?
228
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,876
AS LONG AS IT'S NOT " CATS."
229
00:07:51,918 --> 00:07:52,918
[LAUGHS]
230
00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:58,542
"DID MY HEART LOVE TILL NOW?
231
00:07:58,584 --> 00:08:00,918
"FORSWEAR IT, SIGHT!
232
00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:02,793
FOR I NE'ER SAW TRUE BEAUTY
233
00:08:02,794 --> 00:08:04,626
TILL THIS NIGHT."
234
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,083
RUFF!
235
00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:07,518
- OH, AND HE'LL BE GREAT
- FOR THE KISSING SCENE.
236
00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:09,667
[SLURPING]
237
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,959
HE'S TALENTED,
238
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,959
- BUT I HEAR HE'S
- HARD TO WORK WITH.
239
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,959
ALSO, HE'S A PUPPET.
240
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,709
DON'T TELL ME
241
00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:24,042
- YOU STILL HAVEN'T
- CAST ROMEO.
242
00:08:24,083 --> 00:08:25,188
SO, HUTCH, ARE YOU
243
00:08:25,189 --> 00:08:26,292
BUSY AFTER SCHOOL TODAY?
244
00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:27,500
NOPE. COMPLETELY AVAILABLE.
245
00:08:27,542 --> 00:08:29,459
NOT SIGNED UP
246
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:30,522
FOR ANY EXTRACURRICULAR
247
00:08:30,523 --> 00:08:31,542
ACTIVITIES AT ALL.
248
00:08:31,584 --> 00:08:32,643
- WHAT ABOUT
- HUTCH ANDERSON?
249
00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:34,083
I HEAR HE'S FREE.
250
00:08:34,125 --> 00:08:35,168
PLUS, HE'S TALL,
251
00:08:35,169 --> 00:08:36,209
HANDSOME,
252
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:37,459
AND HE'S NOT A PUPPET.
253
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,083
I DON'T THINK SO.
254
00:08:40,125 --> 00:08:41,125
WE'RE LOOKING FOR UGLY,
255
00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:43,167
AND HE'S, LIKE,
256
00:08:43,209 --> 00:08:45,083
- THE COMPLETE,
- TOTAL OPPOSITE OF UGLY.
257
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,125
I MEAN...
258
00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:49,000
LOOK AT HIM.
259
00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:51,667
MM...
260
00:08:51,709 --> 00:08:54,250
WELL, IT'S SETTLED.
261
00:08:54,292 --> 00:08:55,751
WE'VE FOUND
262
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,209
OUR ROMEO AND JULIET.
263
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:58,459
WHAT?
264
00:08:58,500 --> 00:08:59,834
I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
265
00:08:59,876 --> 00:09:01,709
NO, I MEANT "WHAT?"
266
00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:03,438
AS IN, "WHAT IS
267
00:09:03,439 --> 00:09:05,125
'ROMEO AND JULIET?'"
268
00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:06,897
IT'S A PLAY WITH
269
00:09:06,898 --> 00:09:08,626
LOTS OF KISSING.
270
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:10,667
WHAT?
271
00:09:16,292 --> 00:09:17,417
[HAIRDRYER WHIRRING]
272
00:09:20,584 --> 00:09:23,125
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
273
00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:24,584
- MOM LEFT THIS LASAGNA
- FOR DINNER
274
00:09:24,626 --> 00:09:26,375
- AND SAID IT NEEDED TO BE
- WARMED UP.
275
00:09:26,417 --> 00:09:28,500
WANT SOME?
276
00:09:28,542 --> 00:09:31,792
I CAN ADD SOME SHAVED PARMESAN.
277
00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:33,417
I'M TOO UPSET TO EAT.
278
00:09:33,459 --> 00:09:34,727
- HUTCH AND ECHO
- ARE GOING TO SPEND
279
00:09:34,751 --> 00:09:36,125
HOURS AND HOURS TOGETHER,
280
00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:37,584
- REHEARSING
- THE KISSING SCENE.
281
00:09:37,626 --> 00:09:38,918
NOT IF WE HAVE
282
00:09:38,919 --> 00:09:40,209
ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT.
283
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,310
- WE'RE GOING TO KEEP
- THOSE TWO APART.
284
00:09:41,334 --> 00:09:43,834
WE?
285
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,125
WE'VE NEVER BEEN A "WE" BEFORE.
286
00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:47,292
WELL, WE ARE
287
00:09:47,293 --> 00:09:48,417
ON THE SAME SIDE HERE.
288
00:09:48,459 --> 00:09:49,894
- ARE YOU SUGGESTING
- SOME KIND OF...
289
00:09:49,918 --> 00:09:51,626
UNHOLY ALLIANCE?
290
00:09:51,667 --> 00:09:52,834
WHAT?
291
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:55,292
NO.
292
00:09:55,334 --> 00:09:56,852
- I'M SUGGESTING TWO ORDINARILY
- HOSTILE FACTIONS
293
00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:58,792
JOIN FORCES
294
00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:00,351
- IN A SINISTER CONSPIRACY
- AGAINST A THIRD PARTY
295
00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:04,209
OUT OF MUTUAL SELF-INTEREST.
296
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:05,792
MY MISTAKE.
297
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,083
GOOD NEWS.
298
00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:20,083
I GAVE HUTCH A DETENTION.
299
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:21,542
[SPLUTTERS]
300
00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:22,959
WHAT?
301
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,000
BUT I GOT ECHO DETENTION!
302
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,375
DETENTION?
303
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,292
THAT IS SO UNFAIR.
304
00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:29,250
THOSE AREN'T EVEN MINE!
305
00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:30,310
- THEY CERTAINLY AREN'T,
- YOUNG LADY.
306
00:10:30,334 --> 00:10:32,584
THEY BELONG TO THE AQUARIUM,
307
00:10:32,626 --> 00:10:34,826
- AND THEY WANT THEIR ENDANGERED
- SEA TURTLE EGGS BACK!
308
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,167
IT SEEMED THE SIMPLEST WAY.
309
00:10:39,209 --> 00:10:40,834
ECHO.
310
00:10:40,876 --> 00:10:42,101
- SINCE WE'RE BOTH
- GOING TO BE IN DETENTION,
311
00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:43,268
- WHY DON'T WE
- WORK ON THE PLAY?
312
00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:44,918
AWESOME!
313
00:10:44,959 --> 00:10:47,375
I'M FEELING A LITTLE AWKWARD
314
00:10:47,417 --> 00:10:48,602
- ABOUT SOME OF
- THE ROMANTIC STUFF.
315
00:10:48,626 --> 00:10:50,918
I HEAR YOU,
316
00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:52,085
BUT, IF YOU
317
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,209
GET NERVOUS,
318
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:54,125
JUST LOOK INTO MY EYES.
319
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:55,459
[GIGGLES]
320
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:56,500
OKAY.
321
00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:05,059
- GREAT, THEY'LL PROBABLY GO
- STRAIGHT TO THE KISSING SCENE.
322
00:11:05,083 --> 00:11:06,292
WHICH SCENE?
323
00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:07,918
THERE'S A WITCH SCENE?
324
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:08,959
[SHRIEKS IN FEAR]
325
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,292
[EGGS SMASH]
326
00:11:13,626 --> 00:11:15,751
OKAY.
327
00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:17,393
- "ROMEO AND JULIET,"
- THE FAMOUS BALCONY SCENE.
328
00:11:17,417 --> 00:11:18,435
- GREAT, I'LL
- HEAD UP THERE NOW.
329
00:11:18,459 --> 00:11:20,459
OH, NO NEED.
330
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,661
- HUTCH IS ALREADY
- IN PLACE.
331
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,855
BUT ISN'T JULIET SUPPOSED
332
00:11:26,856 --> 00:11:29,125
TO BE ON THE BALCONY?
333
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:32,626
YEAH, I-I DID A LITTLE REWRITE.
334
00:11:32,667 --> 00:11:35,334
YOU REWROTE SHAKESPEARE?
335
00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:36,667
JUST A FEW NIPS AND TUCKS.
336
00:11:36,709 --> 00:11:38,459
- IRONED OUT THE ROUGH SPOTS,
- NO BIG.
337
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,417
- OKAY, PEOPLE,
- LET'S RUN THROUGH IT.
338
00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,375
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?
339
00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:48,500
"THAT WHICH WE CALL A ROSE
340
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:49,751
BY ANY OTHER WORD
341
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:50,959
WOULD SMELL AS SWEET."
342
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,668
UH, IT SAYS HERE
343
00:11:52,669 --> 00:11:54,334
I'M SUPPOSED TO FALL?
344
00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:56,959
DON'T FORGET THE
345
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,542
"TO YOUR DEATH" PART.
346
00:11:59,584 --> 00:12:01,252
IS THERE GOING TO BE
347
00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:02,918
A MAT OR SOMETHING?
348
00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:05,250
THIS IS SHAKESPEARE.
349
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,167
- THE MAT WASN'T INVENTED
- UNTIL 1835,
350
00:12:07,209 --> 00:12:09,042
BY A GUY NAMED...
351
00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:10,083
MATT!
352
00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:14,292
IF ROMEO DIES,
353
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,292
- HE WON'T BE AROUND
- FOR THE REST OF THE PLAY.
354
00:12:16,334 --> 00:12:20,125
WOW, I DID NOT THINK OF THAT.
355
00:12:20,167 --> 00:12:21,459
SURE, YOU'LL HAVE
356
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,584
A BRIEF MOURNING PERIOD,
357
00:12:23,626 --> 00:12:24,709
BUT YOU'LL FIND FULFILLMENT
358
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:25,792
WHEN YOU JOIN A NUNNERY,
359
00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:27,310
- AND SPEND THE REST OF THE PLAY
- HELPING THE NEEDY,
360
00:12:27,334 --> 00:12:28,292
AND NEVER TOUCHING ANOTHER MAN,
361
00:12:28,334 --> 00:12:30,375
EVER AGAIN.
362
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,834
ADAM, THIS ISN'T RIGHT.
363
00:12:32,876 --> 00:12:34,126
ROMEO DOESN'T DIE UNTIL
364
00:12:34,127 --> 00:12:35,375
THE TOMB SCENE AT THE END.
365
00:12:35,417 --> 00:12:37,137
- WELL, WAY TO RUIN IT
- FOR THE REST OF US.
366
00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:38,584
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
367
00:12:38,626 --> 00:12:40,834
CALL THIS PLAY "ROMEO AND...
368
00:12:40,876 --> 00:12:43,167
SPOILER ALERT"?
369
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,334
TODAY'S SCIENCE CLUB TOPIC
370
00:12:47,335 --> 00:12:48,667
IS THE LIFE CYCLE.
371
00:12:48,709 --> 00:12:50,292
TELL ME,
372
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:53,250
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE DIES?
373
00:12:53,292 --> 00:12:54,730
PEOPLE BRING A LOT OF
374
00:12:54,731 --> 00:12:56,167
CABBAGE ROLLS TO YOUR HOUSE,
375
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,167
WHICH IS GREAT,
376
00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,125
BECAUSE I LOVE CABBAGE ROLLS.
377
00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:02,584
HORSE PUCKY!
378
00:13:02,626 --> 00:13:04,022
WHEN WE DIE, WE GO TO MEET
379
00:13:04,023 --> 00:13:05,417
THE SUN GOD, RA...
380
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:09,542
BUT IF HE'S GOING TO
381
00:13:09,543 --> 00:13:10,959
CHOOSE YOU AS HIS BRIDE,
382
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,584
YOU NEED TO LOOK YOUR BEST,
383
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,542
AND NOTHING PRESERVES
384
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:16,042
YOUR YOUTHFUL GLOW
385
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:19,626
LIKE MUMMIFICATION.
386
00:13:26,292 --> 00:13:27,960
DOES THIS THING
387
00:13:27,961 --> 00:13:29,626
HAVE A FLY?
388
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,792
NOW, BEFORE WE WRAP THE HEAD,
389
00:13:32,834 --> 00:13:34,083
WE NEED TO REMOVE THE BRAIN.
390
00:13:35,792 --> 00:13:36,918
WHAT?
391
00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:39,751
ONE CHUNK AT A TIME,
392
00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:41,792
THROUGH THE NOSE,
393
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:44,250
WITH THIS HOOK.
394
00:13:44,292 --> 00:13:46,667
[SCREAMS IN PANIC]
395
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:47,667
WOW.
396
00:13:47,709 --> 00:13:49,167
NO FLY,
397
00:13:49,209 --> 00:13:50,584
BUT CONVENIENTLY
398
00:13:50,585 --> 00:13:51,959
ABSORBENT.
399
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,500
[SCREAMING]
400
00:13:56,459 --> 00:13:59,667
DON'T WORRY, HE WON'T GET FAR.
401
00:13:59,709 --> 00:14:01,417
THE PHARAOH'S GUARDS
402
00:14:01,418 --> 00:14:03,125
ARE EVERYWHERE.
403
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,876
ALL RIGHT,
404
00:14:06,918 --> 00:14:08,101
- ROMEO MADE IT
- TO THE FINAL SCENE,
405
00:14:08,125 --> 00:14:11,709
AS YOU CRY-BABIES INSISTED,
406
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,563
BUT NOW JULIET WAKES UP
407
00:14:13,564 --> 00:14:15,375
AND SEES HIS DEAD BODY,
408
00:14:15,417 --> 00:14:16,976
- WHICH HAS STARTED TO ROT
- AND EMIT A FOUL STENCH.
409
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,542
EW.
410
00:14:20,584 --> 00:14:21,935
- THAT'S EXACTLY THE ATTITUDE
- I WANT YOU TO HAVE
411
00:14:21,959 --> 00:14:22,709
IN THIS SCENE...
412
00:14:22,751 --> 00:14:23,667
"EW!"
413
00:14:23,709 --> 00:14:24,709
AND, GO.
414
00:14:30,751 --> 00:14:33,626
"WHAT'S HERE?
415
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:35,480
"A CUP CLOSED
416
00:14:35,481 --> 00:14:37,292
IN MY TRUE LOVE'S HAND?
417
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,751
POISON, I SEE,
418
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:40,167
HATH BEEN HIS TIMELESS END."
419
00:14:40,209 --> 00:14:41,250
GOOD, GOOD.
420
00:14:41,292 --> 00:14:42,292
NOW, TAKE HIS DAGGER...
421
00:14:44,292 --> 00:14:45,167
AND STAB HIM!
422
00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:46,542
STAB HIM?
423
00:14:46,584 --> 00:14:47,459
STAB HIM?
424
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,918
YEAH!
425
00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:50,167
- ROMEO LEFT YOU.
- YOU'RE MAD.
426
00:14:50,209 --> 00:14:51,834
BUT HE'S ALREADY DEAD.
427
00:14:51,876 --> 00:14:54,292
YEAH, I'M ALREADY DEAD.
428
00:14:54,334 --> 00:14:57,834
BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.
429
00:14:57,876 --> 00:14:59,918
AND WE'RE STABBING.
430
00:14:59,959 --> 00:15:01,125
AND WE'RE STABBING...
431
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,834
I'M SUPPOSED TO KISS HIM.
432
00:15:03,876 --> 00:15:05,252
MODERN AUDIENCES
433
00:15:05,253 --> 00:15:06,626
DON'T LIKE KISSING.
434
00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:08,293
THEY COME TO THE THEATRE
435
00:15:08,294 --> 00:15:09,918
FOR STABBING...
436
00:15:09,959 --> 00:15:11,167
THIS IS CRAZY.
437
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:12,476
WE'RE DOING THE PLAY AS WRITTEN.
438
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,000
AS WRITTEN BY ME?
439
00:15:14,042 --> 00:15:15,250
[EVERYONE]: NO!
440
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,792
"BUT, SOFT!
441
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,334
"WHAT LIGHT THROUGH
442
00:15:24,335 --> 00:15:25,834
YONDER WINDOW BREAKS?
443
00:15:25,876 --> 00:15:27,272
"IT IS THE EAST,
444
00:15:27,273 --> 00:15:28,667
AND JULIET IS THE SUN...
445
00:15:28,709 --> 00:15:30,542
"ARISE, FAIR SUN.
446
00:15:30,584 --> 00:15:32,000
KILL THE ENVIOUS MOON..."
447
00:15:32,042 --> 00:15:33,667
- SURE, IT'S ALL
- LOVEY DOVEY NOW,
448
00:15:33,709 --> 00:15:35,125
- BUT WE KNOW
- HOW THIS ENDS.
449
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:37,209
ROMEO DIES,
450
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:38,667
- AND I THINK
- WE CAN SAFELY ASSUME
451
00:15:38,709 --> 00:15:40,376
IT'S THE WORK
452
00:15:40,377 --> 00:15:42,042
OF WITCHES.
453
00:15:42,083 --> 00:15:43,292
- "...ART MORE FAIR
- THAN SHE.
454
00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:45,001
"BE NOT HER MAID
455
00:15:45,002 --> 00:15:46,667
SINCE SHE IS ENVIOUS.
456
00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:47,500
- OH, GREAT, THEY'RE
- PERFECT TOGETHER.
457
00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:49,042
DON'T WORRY.
458
00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:50,792
- WHEN YOU FAILED
- THE UNHOLY ALLIANCE,
459
00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:52,334
- I TOOK MATTERS
- INTO MY OWN HANDS.
460
00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:53,626
MEET YOUR NEW
461
00:15:53,627 --> 00:15:54,876
MAKE-UP GIRL.
462
00:15:54,918 --> 00:15:56,834
- HOW IS THAT
- GOING TO HELP?
463
00:15:56,876 --> 00:15:58,584
- SOON, HUTCH AND ECHO
- ARE GOING TO KISS.
464
00:15:58,626 --> 00:16:01,292
THEN THEY'LL DATE,
465
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:02,605
MAKE OUT BY THE LOCKERS
466
00:16:02,606 --> 00:16:03,876
IN FRONT OF MY CLASSROOM,
467
00:16:03,918 --> 00:16:04,935
- INVITE ME TO THEIR
- DESTINATION WEDDING
468
00:16:04,959 --> 00:16:06,083
IN BERMUDA,
469
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:07,351
- EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW
- THERE'S NO WAY
470
00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:08,793
I COULD TAKE THE TIME
471
00:16:08,794 --> 00:16:10,209
OFF WORK,
472
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,647
BUT I GUESS I'M EXPECTED
473
00:16:11,648 --> 00:16:13,042
TO GET THEM A GIFT ANYWAY...
474
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:17,667
- AND THEN
- THEY INVITE ME OVER
475
00:16:17,709 --> 00:16:19,000
FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER,
476
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:21,167
LIKE THEY DO EVERY YEAR,
477
00:16:21,209 --> 00:16:22,480
BECAUSE POOR, SINGLE ADAM
478
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:23,751
HAS NOWHERE ELSE TO GO,
479
00:16:23,792 --> 00:16:25,876
AND WHO'S THE DESPERATE CAT LADY
480
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:26,939
THEY'RE TRYING TO
481
00:16:26,940 --> 00:16:27,959
SET ME UP WITH THIS YEAR?
482
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:28,876
FINAL SCENE.
483
00:16:28,918 --> 00:16:30,792
YOU'RE UP, ROMEO.
484
00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:32,876
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
485
00:16:32,918 --> 00:16:34,334
- OH, LOOK,
- THERE'S THE GRAVY BOAT
486
00:16:34,375 --> 00:16:35,668
I BOUGHT THEM
487
00:16:35,669 --> 00:16:36,959
FOR THEIR WEDDING.
488
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,834
I KNOW THEY DON'T USE IT
489
00:16:38,835 --> 00:16:40,667
WHEN I'M NOT HERE.
490
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,980
OH, SURE, UNCLE ADAM
491
00:16:41,981 --> 00:16:43,250
WILL BABYSIT OVER NEW YEAR'S,
492
00:16:43,292 --> 00:16:44,896
YEAH, SO YOU TWO CAN HAVE
493
00:16:44,897 --> 00:16:46,500
A ROMANTIC WEEKEND IN CABO,
494
00:16:46,542 --> 00:16:47,918
AND THE WORST PART IS,
495
00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:49,501
I LOVE SPENDING TIME
496
00:16:49,502 --> 00:16:51,042
WITH THOSE KIDS.
497
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:52,459
SO WELL BEHAVED...
498
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,959
AND BEAUTIFUL.
499
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,709
MAN, THEY MAKE BEAUTIFUL KIDS.
500
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,251
"COME, BITTER CONDUCT,
501
00:17:00,252 --> 00:17:01,751
COME, UNSAVORY GUIDE!
502
00:17:01,792 --> 00:17:03,459
"THOU DESPERATE PILOT,
503
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,727
- "NOW AT ONCE RUN ON
- THE DASHING ROCKS
504
00:17:04,751 --> 00:17:07,584
THY SEASICK, WEARY BARK."
505
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,083
[SIGHS]
506
00:17:09,125 --> 00:17:12,292
"HERE'S TO MY LOVE."
507
00:17:12,334 --> 00:17:13,584
[COUGHING]
508
00:17:13,626 --> 00:17:15,876
"O TRUE APOTHECARY!
509
00:17:15,918 --> 00:17:17,083
THY DRUGS ARE QUICK."
510
00:17:18,876 --> 00:17:19,959
[CHOKING BACK TEARS]
511
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,101
- EVEN THOUGH I KNEW
- IT WAS COMING,
512
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:22,834
IT STILL GOT ME.
513
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:23,959
ROMEO'S DEAD.
514
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,042
HE'S GONE.
515
00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:29,042
HE'LL NEVER STIR AGAIN.
516
00:17:31,959 --> 00:17:33,334
[CROWD MURMURING]
517
00:17:37,792 --> 00:17:40,083
HE'S ALIVE!
518
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:44,459
YOU CAN'T WRITE THIS STUFF!
519
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:46,250
- AND AS WE SIT ACROSS
- THE BRIDGE TABLE
520
00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:47,560
- IN THE NURSING HOME
- WE SHARE,
521
00:17:47,584 --> 00:17:49,018
- SHE CONFESSES THAT SHE HAD
- A LITTLE CRUSH ON ME
522
00:17:49,042 --> 00:17:50,167
BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL,
523
00:17:50,209 --> 00:17:51,500
BUT DIDN'T ACT ON IT
524
00:17:51,542 --> 00:17:53,101
- BECAUSE SHE ASSUMED
- I HAD NO FEELINGS FOR HER!
525
00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:54,852
- OH, IF ONLY I COULD GO BACK
- AND DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY,
526
00:17:54,876 --> 00:17:57,709
BUT NO,
527
00:17:57,751 --> 00:17:58,876
THE PAST IS THE PAST.
528
00:17:58,918 --> 00:17:59,792
[SLAP]
529
00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:01,792
OW!
530
00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:03,209
- WOULD YOU
- SNAP OUT OF IT?
531
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,543
I TOLD YOU
532
00:18:04,544 --> 00:18:05,834
I'D TAKE CARE OF IT.
533
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:06,876
AH, A POX!
534
00:18:08,709 --> 00:18:10,125
A POX ON BOTH MY ELBOWS!
535
00:18:10,167 --> 00:18:11,209
[YELPING IN DISCOMFORT]
536
00:18:15,792 --> 00:18:17,083
ITCHING POWDER?
537
00:18:17,125 --> 00:18:18,393
- I BOUGHT IT
- AT THE JOKE SHOP.
538
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:20,417
ALONG WITH THESE X-RAY SPECS.
539
00:18:22,584 --> 00:18:25,083
[LAUGHS]
540
00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:26,918
AT LEAST YOU'RE SMART.
541
00:18:29,459 --> 00:18:30,542
SORRY, FOLKS.
542
00:18:30,584 --> 00:18:32,209
I GUESS THE SHOW IS OVER.
543
00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:33,334
[CROWD GROANS]
544
00:18:33,375 --> 00:18:34,834
AW, MAN.
545
00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:35,626
RIGHT BEFORE THE KISS!
546
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:36,876
NO, NO!
547
00:18:36,918 --> 00:18:38,083
THE SHOW MUST GO ON!
548
00:18:40,584 --> 00:18:41,584
[ROARS IN EFFORT]
549
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:47,751
I LIKE TO BE PREPARED.
550
00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:49,876
- DO YOU HAVE ANY
- OTHER COSTUMES ON UNDER THERE?
551
00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:53,167
NOPE.
552
00:18:59,417 --> 00:19:01,709
"WHAT'S HERE?
553
00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:03,084
"A CUP, CLOSED
554
00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:04,417
IN MY TRUE LOVE'S HAND?
555
00:19:04,459 --> 00:19:06,271
POISON, I SEE, HATH BEEN
556
00:19:06,272 --> 00:19:08,083
HIS TIMELESS END."
557
00:19:11,876 --> 00:19:14,250
GIVE MY LOVE TO AUNT FANNY.
558
00:19:14,292 --> 00:19:16,375
I HOPE SHE ENJOYS THESE COOKIES.
559
00:19:18,834 --> 00:19:19,834
- [THUD]
- OW!
560
00:19:21,042 --> 00:19:22,250
THAT'S THE WITCH!
561
00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:25,125
I KNEW THERE WAS A WITCH!
562
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:27,626
THAT'S IT, I'M DONE!
563
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,250
- NO, NO, WE HAVEN'T
- KISSED YET!
564
00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:31,250
WELL, FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
565
00:19:31,292 --> 00:19:32,602
- BUT NO ONE CAN PLAY JULIET
- BUT YOU!
566
00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:34,459
NONSENSE.
567
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,209
- LIKE YOU SAID,
- THE SHOW MUST GO ON.
568
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:37,560
- WE'LL JUST USE
- THE NEXT BEST ACTRESS.
569
00:19:37,584 --> 00:19:38,584
AT YOUR SERVICE!
570
00:19:57,792 --> 00:19:59,751
"WHAT'S HERE?
571
00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:01,584
"A CUP, CLOSED
572
00:20:01,585 --> 00:20:03,375
IN MY TRUE LOVE'S HAND?
573
00:20:03,417 --> 00:20:05,147
POISON, I SEE,
574
00:20:05,148 --> 00:20:06,876
HATH BEEN HIS TIMELESS END."
575
00:20:06,918 --> 00:20:08,834
"I WILL KISS THY LIPS.
576
00:20:08,876 --> 00:20:09,876
HAPLY SOME POISON
577
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:10,877
YET DOTH HANG ON THEM."
578
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:15,584
MM-MM, MM-MM, MM-MM!
579
00:20:15,626 --> 00:20:16,793
[FIRMLY]
580
00:20:16,794 --> 00:20:17,959
"I WILL KISS THY LIPS."
581
00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:23,250
AND WE'RE STABBING.
582
00:20:23,292 --> 00:20:23,876
AND WE'RE STABBING...
583
00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,167
[SCREAMS]
584
00:20:25,209 --> 00:20:26,167
AND WE'RE STABBING,
585
00:20:26,209 --> 00:20:27,959
AND WE'RE STABBING!
586
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,167
[CROWD MURMURS IN CONFUSION]
587
00:20:33,209 --> 00:20:34,667
YOU JUST CANNOT WRITE
588
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:36,125
THIS STUFF!
589
00:20:43,334 --> 00:20:44,334
[♪♪♪]
590
00:20:46,876 --> 00:20:49,334
COME ON, COME ON.
591
00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:50,375
COME ON.
592
00:20:54,334 --> 00:20:56,334
[SQUEALS]
593
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:57,500
TRIP TO ARUBA!
594
00:20:59,417 --> 00:21:01,292
[ORGAN PLAYS A FLOURISH]
595
00:21:01,334 --> 00:21:02,667
YEAH!
596
00:21:02,709 --> 00:21:03,896
WHOO!
597
00:21:03,897 --> 00:21:05,083
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
598
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,209
[FIREWORKS SIZZLE AND POP]
599
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,250
YES! YES!
600
00:21:16,792 --> 00:21:17,792
WHOO!
601
00:21:23,834 --> 00:21:25,250
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
602
00:21:25,292 --> 00:21:27,042
WHAT AM I DOING?
603
00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:28,667
THE SCHOOL CAN'T AFFORD
604
00:21:28,668 --> 00:21:30,250
A TRIP TO ARUBA,
605
00:21:30,292 --> 00:21:32,773
- ESPECIALLY NOT AFTER SPENDING
- ALL THAT MONEY ON THIS WHEEL.
606
00:21:38,334 --> 00:21:40,000
- [CLAPPING]
- COME ON...
607
00:21:40,042 --> 00:21:41,042
[♪♪♪]
35031
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