Original subtitles

♪♪

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)

♪ Sometimes some crimes

♪ Go slippin' through the cracks

♪ But these two gumshoes

♪ Are pickin' up the slack

♪ There's no case too big, no case too small

♪ When you need help, just call

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale's

♪ Rescue Rangers

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ When there's danger

♪ No, no, it never fails

♪ 'Cause once they're involved

♪ Somehow whatever's wrong gets solved

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ Rescue Rangers

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ When there's danger

♪ No, no, it never fails

♪ They'll take the clues

♪ And find the wheres and whys and whos

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ Rescue Rangers

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale

♪ When there's danger

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪

(TAPPING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, yo, we got company.

Let's nail these numskulls!

Hey, watch it, Chip!

(SCREAMING)

Right, that'll be enough of that.

MONTEREY: Get this blinkin' thing off!

If we don't get past these guys,

the boss is gonna get really angry, you know.

Chill out. I got a bead on him.

DALE: Any other bright ideas?

I'm thinking! I'm thinking!

Okay, Muscles, squash 'em!

Yo, absolutely.

(ALL GASPING)

No worries, mates. You can depend on Monterey.

One order of pest pancakes comin' right up!

(GRUNTING)

(ALL GASPING)

(EXCLAIMING)

Ah!

Jeez, Muscles, he's even stronger than you.

Whoa! Let's get out of here, you know.

Time to teach these slugs

some table m-manners.

(CHUCKLING) Time to clean up the garbage.

(SCREAMING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Let's get out of here!

Yo, this is gonna hurt.

MUSCLES: Yo, get me out of here! Ow!

Wowie-zowie! A clean sweep!

Uh, we've got a problem.

DALE: Monty! What's happened to him?

CHIP: I don't know. A cheese attack?

It's not cheese.

It some kind of perfume?

- GADGET: Look, Monty. - DALE: A real treat.

You favorite, jack cheese.

No thanks, mates. I'm not real hungry.

(ALL GASPING)

(SIGHING) This was years ago, before I hooked up with the Rangers.

MONTEREY: I was tourin' the cheese regions

of Europe, so I stopped in Paris,

where I heard somebody was using cardboard and shavin' cream

to make counterfeit cheesecakes.

A crime against cheese lovers everywhere, it was.

So I made it my job to stop them.

I was holdin' me own until a door opened.

Then I saw her, Desiree D'Allure.

She was young. She was beautiful.

And she was in trouble.

(SNIFFING)

It was love at first sniff.

Before I knew it, I was in over me head.

Finally, I was able to win her hand.

The big day arrived.

I was goin' to the chapel, happy as can be,

when I was seduced by me first love.

Cheese!

Hours later I came to.

But I was too late.

That's the last I saw her.

Still, every time I smell that perfume,

I fall in love all over again.

I just have to face the facts.

I'll never see her again.

Oh, Monty, that's not true. It could happen.

Yeah, you never know when opportunity'll knock.

- (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - See?

- (EXCLAIMS) - Monsy!

It's for you.

Desiree?

(STAMMERING)

Um, everybody, uh, permit me to introduce Desiree D'Allure.

(SOBBING)

Monsy, thank goodness you are all right.

After that horrible fight at the antique store, I thought...

What? How do you know about the antique store?

Well, um, because I was there.

So it was your perfume I smelled.

And why were you there?

Because...

Because I am part of the gang you were fighting.

Desiree!

I am so ashamed.

But when I saw you again, so handsome, so heroic,

I realized what a fool I was to go off with

Erol.

MONTEREY: I knew it!

That mug made you become a criminal.

I told him I was quitting the gang.

He threatened me.

(GASPING) He's really rotten.

Yeah, just like her story.

He doesn't believe me. No one believes me.

(SOBBING)

I believe you.

See here, Chip, you're upsettin' the lady.

Please, give me the chance to prove I am telling the truth.

How?

Erol is planning another robbery.

I will tell you everything I know.

Bonzer idea, Des.

You'll see, Chipper. This'll work out great.

MONTEREY: You're stayin' here?

Desiree: For the time being.

No offense, love,

but you really deserve a nicer place than this.

Well, perhaps we can find a new place together.

(STAMMERING)

Well, uh...

Au revoir, mon cheri. Pleasant dreams.

DESIREE: He's gone.

EROL: Did he fall for it?

Like a ton of brick cheese.

Yeah. Nice goin', Desiree.

(ALL LAUGHING)

You're sure this is the place?

DESIREE: Any second, I promise, they will come out of that clock store.

Well, when and if they do, we'll drop the net on 'em.

Ready, roger wilco.

Look!

MONTEREY: See? Just like Desiree said.

Fire!

Sheesh! You'd think they'd at least aim a little better.

Please, don't hurt us!

Yeah, honest, we give up!

Hey, that was easy.

Nah, after our last dustup,

they just must've figured we're too hot for 'em.

Speakin' of hot.

Holy moly! Molten tar! We're gonna get swamped!

Desiree! Where's Desiree?

Forget about her. Now the engine won't start.

W-Will this help?

Bye.

(COUGHING)

We're going under!

(COUGHING) Zipper, quick!

Hang on!

(ALL SCREAMING)

Yipe!

- Get 'em! - You can count on me.

Not if I can help it.

Oh, help, Monsy!

Desiree!

Are you hurt, Des?

I am not sure.

This branch caught me.

You let them get away.

But Desiree needed me.

Awful convenient that she kept you busy

just long enough for those crooks to escape.

This whole thing was a setup and she's a phony.

Oh, Monsy!

Now, look here, Chip, I demand an apology!

CHIP: An apology? I'm not the one who deserted his duty.

We can't depend on you for anything.

Is that so?

All right, if that's the way you feel about me,

I quit!

Well, you sure handled that right.

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, mon cheri, it is like the old days in Paris.

Another French fry, s'il vous plait.

Just you and me.

No worries, no responsibilities.

No friends.

Well, aren't we cheery?

Can't help it, Des. They was the best mates I ever had.

Before the Rescue Rangers,

I just bounced from port to port

lookin' for the next piece of cheese.

That is not the Monsy I knew.

My Monterey Jack fought impossible odds to rescue me.

In fact, I would say the Rescue Rangers need you

more than you need them.

- But you have to make them see that. - How?

Well, Erol was planning another, how you say, heist.

I got you. If I catch that stooge single-handed,

the Rangers'll welcome me back with open arms.

Des, you're a genius.

DESIREE: But of course.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

MONTEREY: I don't know, Des.

Breakin' into art museums isn't the way we usually nab crooks.

Trust me. We've got to catch Erol with the red hands.

If you say so.

Careful of the fan there, Desiree.

It could slice you to ribbons.

I'll have it fixed in half a sec.

(LOUD CLANKING)

Just count on old Monty.

(SCREAMING)

(THUDDING)

How clever. I would have never thought of doing it that way.

Just sharin' the b-benefit of my experience, Des.

(SOBBING)

Come on, guys, brighten up.

Where's the old Ranger spirit?

You're a detective. You figure it out.

Hey, Monty walked out on us, remember?

He wouldn't have if you hadn't opened your big mouth.

I just didn't trust that Desiree D'Allure.

That's his business. Don't be so nosy.

CHIP: We should be looking for clues.

(SQUEAKING)

What is it, Zipper?

(GASPING) It's dandruff.

No, it's sawdust.

Golly, that's where Desiree put her purse down.

And she was staying down by the river.

The river! Sawdust!

BOTH: The lumber mill!

Let's get going.

Well, it could've been dandruff.

MONTEREY: A rosewood chair?

What's a pack of thugs want with that?

Are they missin' a piece of a dinette set?

Erol is working for a wealthy Canadian beaver

with a taste for expensive wood.

They're goin' to all this trouble just for beaver snacks?

When the price is right, Monty, it is no trouble at all.

Laser beam sensors.

Can you take care of them?

I suppose I can.

It'll take a smidge of calculatin', though.

Old Monterey can use his brain when he needs to.

(YAWNING)

Naturellement.

That looks about right.

But, Des, why do you wanna clear a path

to the very thing we're trying to protect?

So it's easier to swipe, you jerk.

Run for cover, Desiree.

I'll take care of the riffraff.

They won't know what hit 'em.

(MUMBLING)

Sorry, Monsy, seven years' bad luck, for you.

(HAMMER TAPPING)

Oh, I feel like I'm holdin' a mongoose convention in me head.

Could you keep the racket down?

Hey, boys, let's be more considerate. We woke up Monsy.

ALL: (SARCASTICALLY) Aw!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, Monsy, perhaps you would like a pair of earmuffs.

Des! Great, you're free.

Untie me while those blokes are busy.

(SCOFFING) He wants me to untie him.

Des, quiet! What are you...

Not likely.

But we do appreciate your helping us break into the museum.

Yeah, couldn't have done it without yous, pal.

You scrawny scallywag, you're the one who led Desiree astray.

Oh, come on, get with the program, pally.

Monsy, I never worked for Erol. He works for me.

EROL: You see, when you Rescue Clowns

fed our friend Muscles to the street sweeper,

we had a little problem.

The gang needed a new strong man

to help us finish our client's shopping list.

And I fit the bill.

Mais oui. Now the chair gets shipped north

while Erol and I will jet south for a tropical vacation.

Whatever you do to me,

the other Rangers will see that you pay.

The Rangers? Oh!

EROL: You mean, uh, them?

(EROL LAUGHING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

I would ask you to join the gang, Monsy,

but you have always had this problem.

You are too, how do you say, honest.

Au revoir, mon cheri.

(EROL LAUGHING)

(GASPS)

Don't make a to-do, mates.

Guess Monterey Jack's gonna get whittled down like a walkin' stick.

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

Chip was right. Desiree was just playin' me for a fool.

So Desiree tricked you. So what?

You gonna let her get away with it?

You're a Rescue Ranger!

I'm not a Rescue Ranger anymore. You can't depend on me.

Start kicking. We gotta get this thing swinging.

Come on, Dale, he knows what he's doing.

You crazy dingoes!

Get off of there! Jump!

Who's depending on you now, Monterey?

But you...

(GRUNTING)

Hope that's enough.

ALL: Monterey!

(LEVER CLANKING)

- CHIP: You're okay! - GADGET: Monty's okay!

Of course, I'm all right.

I'm a Rescue Ranger, aren't I?

You sure are.

But it was a bit of a close shave.

ALL: Rescue Rangers, away!

ANNOUNCER ON P.A.: Flight 301 for Orlando now boarding at Terminal 9.

Flight 212 to Nova Scotia will begin boarding in five minutes.

Yep, right on schedule.

In a few hours, we'll be up to our necks in grass skirts and coconuts.

Oui, mon cheri. Just you, me and...

(GASPING) Monterey Jack?

No!

Th-Th-That... That guy should be mincemeat!

There they are, Gadget. Give her the gun!

(TIRES SQUEALING)

DALE: They're getting away!

CHIP: You have to get us up there, Gadget.

Great. I could try out the new ejection seats.

ALL: Ejection seats?

(ALL SCREAMING)

Get up here, Erol. You'll miss our plane.

CHIP: Oh, no need to hurry, Erol.

Yeah, you don't need a plane to fly.

Bon voyage, Erol.

Desiree!

Uh-oh.

(SNARLING)

(EROL SCREAMING)

There she goes.

Crikey! We're gonna lose her.

Not it we borrow one of Gadget's tricks.

(SIGHING) Too bad you will not be joining me, Erol.

On the other hand, you were becoming a bit of a bore.

Ready? Hold it. Fire!

I'm sure I can find another man soon enough.

(GROANING)

Couldn't get enough of me, eh, Monsy?

I'm not lettin' you get away with this.

Oh, there you go again with that honesty.

(SNEEZING)

Hang it all! She's gettin' away.

If you are ever in Tahiti, Monty, look me up.

Until then, we'll always have Paris.

(LAUGHING)

Wait a minute.

This is the shippin' label to that Canadian beaver.

Jump in, Monty. We can still stop her.

Nah, don't bother.

- ALL: Huh? - That antique chair won't be goin'

anywhere without a shippin' label.

And right now Zipper's seeing to it

that Desiree gets a one-way trip to the frozen north.

CHIP: So when her beaver boss finds her.

-(DALE LAUGHING) -in the box instead of his chair...

she'll be in for one very cold reception.

PILOT ON RADIO: Roger, tower. This is Frozen Country Airlines,

Flight 212, eh. Cleared for take-off.

Case closed and back to normal.

From now on I'm not gonna let anyone

or anything turn my head around.

What's with him?

The next flight out must be serving macaroni and...

MONTEREY: Cheese!