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Downloaded from
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(logo chiming)
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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(gunfire echoing in the distance)
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(melancholy music)
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(shells exploding)
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(shotguns firing)
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- Major, it's for you.
- Major Meredith. Go ahead.
9
00:00:52,974 --> 00:00:54,892
- [Soldier] Major, we
need you to fall back.
10
00:00:54,892 --> 00:00:57,520
Intelligence has reported
that the enemy has set a trap.
11
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Do not attack the enemy position, Major.
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(bomb explodes)
13
00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:06,404
(Major Meredith's ears ringing)
14
00:01:08,114 --> 00:01:11,367
(tense, discordant music)
15
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-Are you ready to have some fun?
16
00:01:13,494 --> 00:01:14,954
- [Party-Goers] Yeah!
17
00:01:14,954 --> 00:01:15,830
(upbeat music)
18
00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:17,415
♪ If you're a cockatoo, then I am too ♪
19
00:01:17,415 --> 00:01:19,875
♪ Everybody sing the croc-a-doo ♪
20
00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:22,753
♪ Gonna rock this billy
till it sings for you ♪
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00:01:22,753 --> 00:01:24,964
♪ Cock-a-doodle, Aussie true blue ♪
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- How good is he?
23
00:01:26,257 --> 00:01:27,675
- Do the galah!
24
00:01:29,427 --> 00:01:31,345
Play the guitar.
25
00:01:31,345 --> 00:01:32,930
Shoot for the stars!
26
00:01:34,098 --> 00:01:35,975
Cock-a-doodle was a true blue.
27
00:01:37,727 --> 00:01:41,397
(upbeat music continuing)
28
00:01:42,648 --> 00:01:45,901
(children screaming)
29
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:48,613
(party-goers screaming in fear)
30
00:01:48,613 --> 00:01:51,532
- No!
(shots firing)
31
00:01:51,532 --> 00:01:54,118
- Our boy was taken. It's all your fault.
32
00:01:54,118 --> 00:01:56,329
(sombre music)
33
00:01:56,329 --> 00:01:58,831
Being the world's best wobble board player
34
00:01:58,831 --> 00:02:01,125
won't bring our dead son back.
35
00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:03,252
- You don't know that!
36
00:02:03,252 --> 00:02:07,965
- I should have married a
man with big muscles. (sobs)
37
00:02:10,635 --> 00:02:12,470
- Now there's a wobble you control!
38
00:02:17,475 --> 00:02:20,853
(gunfire echoing)
(soldier screams in pain)
39
00:02:20,853 --> 00:02:22,521
Margaret! Margaret!
40
00:02:28,152 --> 00:02:29,612
Oh no. Not the suicide shed.
41
00:02:32,573 --> 00:02:35,534
(sombre music)
42
00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:39,372
No, no. (gasping in horror)
43
00:02:45,836 --> 00:02:47,838
- Major, what are the orders?
44
00:02:47,838 --> 00:02:51,175
- Full infantry attack.
45
00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:54,178
- But, sir-
- Full infantry attack!
46
00:02:57,890 --> 00:03:01,394
(soldier blows whistle)
47
00:03:05,189 --> 00:03:08,275
(soldiers shouting)
48
00:03:09,694 --> 00:03:12,697
(shots firing)
49
00:03:12,697 --> 00:03:15,574
(stirring music)
50
00:03:27,336 --> 00:03:31,257
(soldiers screaming in pain)
51
00:03:33,092 --> 00:03:37,221
(soldier yelling continuously)
52
00:03:44,687 --> 00:03:47,231
(tense ringing music)
53
00:03:47,231 --> 00:03:49,984
(soldier gasps)
54
00:03:54,905 --> 00:03:58,743
(soldier breathing heavily)
55
00:04:08,961 --> 00:04:14,175
(emu growling)
(tense music)
56
00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:20,723
(dramatic music)
(gunshot echoing)
57
00:04:20,723 --> 00:04:25,936
(lively string music)
(birds singing)
58
00:04:27,146 --> 00:04:28,022
- Ooh.
59
00:04:28,022 --> 00:04:32,443
I always get so darn nervous
before these speeches, Wendy.
60
00:04:32,443 --> 00:04:33,819
- You'll be great, Prime Minister.
61
00:04:33,819 --> 00:04:36,405
Just read this word for
word and you'll be fine.
62
00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:37,615
- Great.
63
00:04:37,615 --> 00:04:40,159
Now, I was thinking of adding
a little joke near the top
64
00:04:40,159 --> 00:04:42,995
just to kind of get 'em on side, you know?
65
00:04:42,995 --> 00:04:44,121
- Please don't do that.
66
00:04:44,121 --> 00:04:47,124
Just read exactly what's
written on the page.
67
00:04:47,124 --> 00:04:47,958
- Gotcha.
68
00:04:48,042 --> 00:04:50,586
No jokes. Unless I think of a good one.
69
00:04:53,464 --> 00:04:55,299
- We're on.
- (clears throat) Yep.
70
00:04:58,511 --> 00:05:01,096
- And now for a formal announcement
71
00:05:01,096 --> 00:05:02,848
from the Honourable Harold Hall,
72
00:05:02,848 --> 00:05:04,350
Prime Minister of Australia.
73
00:05:09,855 --> 00:05:12,024
(mic feedback screeches)
74
00:05:12,024 --> 00:05:14,610
- (sighs) Good evening,
my fellow Australians.
75
00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:19,156
It is with grave concern
that I formally address you,
76
00:05:19,156 --> 00:05:21,325
the citizens of this great nation.
77
00:05:22,535 --> 00:05:24,662
But first, a good joke.
78
00:05:25,788 --> 00:05:28,332
So when I arrived here
to give this broadcast,
79
00:05:28,332 --> 00:05:30,376
I needed to do a big piss.
80
00:05:31,377 --> 00:05:32,545
And I said to my assistant,
81
00:05:32,545 --> 00:05:35,798
"Can I please go to
the little boys' room?"
82
00:05:35,798 --> 00:05:38,175
She led me into a bathroom and I said,
83
00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:42,429
"No. I meant a room
filled with little boys.
84
00:05:45,057 --> 00:05:48,269
So you can imagine the sort of mischief
85
00:05:48,269 --> 00:05:49,854
I'd be getting up to in there.
86
00:05:52,231 --> 00:05:54,358
So now that we've all had a good laugh,
87
00:05:56,277 --> 00:05:59,071
I have some sombre news to bring you.
88
00:05:59,071 --> 00:06:02,908
Yesterday, after a routine emu cull,
89
00:06:02,908 --> 00:06:06,829
our special forces were by
attacked by some rogue emus.
90
00:06:06,829 --> 00:06:07,830
(emotional music)
91
00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:10,749
And 37,000 young soldiers' lives
92
00:06:10,749 --> 00:06:13,377
were tragically cut short.
93
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,922
It brings me great sadness to say
94
00:06:16,922 --> 00:06:19,550
that the emus have declared war
95
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:22,428
on the Commonwealth of Australia.
96
00:06:22,428 --> 00:06:25,681
But the spirit of Australia
will not be broken.
97
00:06:26,599 --> 00:06:29,852
The emus will not be victorious.
98
00:06:29,852 --> 00:06:31,228
Emus are,
99
00:06:31,228 --> 00:06:32,104
God.
(urine trickling)
100
00:06:32,104 --> 00:06:33,564
Oh God, I've pissed, I've pissed,
101
00:06:33,564 --> 00:06:34,732
I've pissed my pants.
102
00:06:34,732 --> 00:06:36,567
I'm pissing my pants right now.
103
00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:38,527
- Just stop. Just keep doing the speech.
104
00:06:38,527 --> 00:06:39,778
- [Prime Minister] Stop
talking or keep pissing?
105
00:06:39,778 --> 00:06:40,654
- [Wendy] Stop talking about pissing!
106
00:06:40,654 --> 00:06:42,740
- What do I do? What do I do?
- Back, back, back.
107
00:06:42,823 --> 00:06:43,699
- I, I, okay. Okay.
108
00:06:43,699 --> 00:06:45,409
Emu, emus will not be victorious.
109
00:06:45,409 --> 00:06:46,285
(urine trickling)
110
00:06:46,285 --> 00:06:48,329
Emus are cunning animals,
111
00:06:48,329 --> 00:06:50,247
but they are no match for the Austral-
112
00:06:50,247 --> 00:06:51,790
it's actually still coming out, Wendy.
113
00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:53,208
I mean, what the (censored)
am I meant to do?
114
00:06:53,208 --> 00:06:54,126
Wendy, I'm still pissing.
115
00:06:54,126 --> 00:06:55,002
Can you, can you, can you do something?
116
00:06:55,002 --> 00:06:56,295
Can you pinch it off?
117
00:06:56,378 --> 00:06:57,421
Can you please pinch it off?
118
00:06:57,421 --> 00:06:58,297
- I'm not gonna pinch it off, Harold.
119
00:06:58,297 --> 00:06:59,548
- I need you to pinch off my penis.
120
00:06:59,548 --> 00:07:00,466
- I'm not gonna pinch it off!
121
00:07:00,466 --> 00:07:01,425
You're getting piss all over me!
122
00:07:01,425 --> 00:07:04,053
- Oh my God, it's spraying
out all over your shoes.
123
00:07:04,053 --> 00:07:04,929
- How is it,
124
00:07:04,929 --> 00:07:05,804
how is there so much of it?
125
00:07:05,804 --> 00:07:08,098
- I had a big drink, for God's sake.
126
00:07:09,558 --> 00:07:11,060
I think I can still save the speech.
127
00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:12,102
Let me do one more joke.
128
00:07:12,102 --> 00:07:13,437
- Oh my God.
129
00:07:13,437 --> 00:07:15,564
- [Prime Minister] Uh, so two strapping,
130
00:07:15,564 --> 00:07:16,440
young, handsome boys-
131
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,316
- [Wendy] No, absolutely
not. Absolutely not.
132
00:07:17,316 --> 00:07:18,150
- [Prime Minister] Okay.
133
00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:20,653
Please don't tell my fat wife about this.
134
00:07:20,653 --> 00:07:21,820
(feedback echoing)
- Oh my God.
135
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:24,239
- [Commander] You've really
done it this time, Major!
136
00:07:24,323 --> 00:07:26,450
- Yeah, I know. I know.
137
00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:29,453
- 37,000 men slaughtered!
138
00:07:29,453 --> 00:07:33,749
All because you ignored a
direct order not to attack.
139
00:07:33,749 --> 00:07:36,043
You are responsible for
one of the worst blunders
140
00:07:36,043 --> 00:07:37,920
in this military's history.
141
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,964
You're lucky you killed World War I Hitler
142
00:07:39,964 --> 00:07:41,966
or I'd have you court-martialed.
143
00:07:41,966 --> 00:07:44,718
- Oh, you think you're so
good? Never made a mistake?
144
00:07:48,138 --> 00:07:49,890
- I guess I can't argue with that.
145
00:07:52,476 --> 00:07:53,352
My apologies.
146
00:07:53,352 --> 00:07:55,604
- Yeah, I should think so.
147
00:07:55,604 --> 00:07:57,564
- All right, well, we need to regroup.
148
00:07:59,024 --> 00:08:00,818
I'll tell you what, I'm
not gonna suspend you,
149
00:08:00,818 --> 00:08:03,862
but I am reassigning you to a new mission.
150
00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:04,738
- What is it?
151
00:08:08,409 --> 00:08:11,078
- I need a team to go
deep into enemy territory.
152
00:08:11,078 --> 00:08:12,788
(tense music)
153
00:08:12,788 --> 00:08:14,623
These emus are smart.
154
00:08:18,168 --> 00:08:21,422
And they've had thousands
of years to plan this war.
155
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:27,219
I need you to go behind enemy lives.
156
00:08:27,219 --> 00:08:31,223
To seek out and destroy the emus' leader,
157
00:08:35,019 --> 00:08:35,894
the Queen Emu.
158
00:08:39,106 --> 00:08:44,319
(thunder crashing)
(tense music)
159
00:08:53,537 --> 00:08:56,999
(tense percussive music)
160
00:08:56,999 --> 00:08:58,125
- There aren't any side effects to this,
161
00:08:58,125 --> 00:08:59,043
are there, miss?
162
00:08:59,043 --> 00:09:00,210
- No. Shouldn't be.
163
00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:01,962
Now, just hold still.
164
00:09:06,550 --> 00:09:08,385
- How will we know when it kicks in?
165
00:09:10,846 --> 00:09:13,557
(insects buzzing)
166
00:09:13,557 --> 00:09:16,977
And I've been real into
steam engines ever since.
167
00:09:16,977 --> 00:09:17,978
- Yeah?
168
00:09:17,978 --> 00:09:20,898
Well, before I got the
vaccination, I was a white fella.
169
00:09:22,316 --> 00:09:23,859
- Really?
170
00:09:23,859 --> 00:09:27,112
- No, not really. How gullible are you?
171
00:09:28,864 --> 00:09:31,075
- You got some kind of
problem there, mate?
172
00:09:31,075 --> 00:09:34,828
- Yeah, I do have a problem.
A big problem with you.
173
00:09:34,828 --> 00:09:36,580
- And why is that?
- I dunno.
174
00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:38,415
Um, oh, that's right.
175
00:09:38,415 --> 00:09:39,875
Because your great-grandfather
176
00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,627
tried to kill my great-grandfather.
177
00:09:41,627 --> 00:09:44,171
- Oh God. That was ages ago.
178
00:09:44,171 --> 00:09:45,881
- It was last week, bruv.
179
00:09:45,881 --> 00:09:47,674
- The past is the past.
180
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,176
- You handed him the gun.
181
00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:51,512
- Oi! Calm down, you two.
182
00:09:51,512 --> 00:09:53,180
While you're going on
with this petty bickering
183
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,891
about whose grandfather killed who,
184
00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:58,268
the emus are eating the farmers' crops.
185
00:09:58,268 --> 00:10:01,271
- Well handled, Major.
- Thank you, Private.
186
00:10:01,271 --> 00:10:03,440
- So, since we're gonna be fighting
187
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,275
and probably dying together,
188
00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:07,653
perhaps we should get to
know each other a little bit.
189
00:10:07,653 --> 00:10:08,695
I'll start.
190
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:09,571
My name's-
191
00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:11,448
- I'm gonna have to cut
you off there, Private.
192
00:10:11,448 --> 00:10:12,366
I've made a new rule
193
00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:14,451
that I'm not gonna learn the
names of any new recruits
194
00:10:14,451 --> 00:10:16,120
or get close to them in any way.
195
00:10:17,121 --> 00:10:17,996
- Why is that?
196
00:10:17,996 --> 00:10:22,000
- I lost 37,000 men under my
command yesterday, Private.
197
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,503
I learned their full names
and their birth dates.
198
00:10:24,503 --> 00:10:25,921
So I was a bit of a mess.
199
00:10:25,921 --> 00:10:28,423
- But you just met Archie
today and you got to know him.
200
00:10:28,423 --> 00:10:30,050
- Aye, we met, connected.
201
00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:31,885
Had a good chat. Hit it off.
202
00:10:31,885 --> 00:10:33,387
You can't force these things.
203
00:10:37,141 --> 00:10:38,851
Anyway, Private, (scoffs)
204
00:10:38,851 --> 00:10:42,646
It's not like you just joined
the war to get closer to me.
205
00:10:48,694 --> 00:10:51,822
(eerie music)
206
00:10:51,822 --> 00:10:55,200
- Father, you've been
grieving about Graham
207
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,535
for 15 years now.
208
00:10:58,662 --> 00:11:00,581
Don't you think it's time to move on?
209
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,834
(glass shatters)
210
00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:08,422
- Damn it, Mary Sue. He was my only son.
211
00:11:08,422 --> 00:11:10,966
He was gonna grow up and
be a war hero like me.
212
00:11:12,968 --> 00:11:14,761
You're a woman.
(melancholy music)
213
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,597
You wouldn't understand.
214
00:11:16,597 --> 00:11:19,016
- Losing him was hard on both of us.
215
00:11:19,016 --> 00:11:20,726
But we still have each other.
216
00:11:21,852 --> 00:11:23,937
- I wish the emus had taken you instead.
217
00:11:25,397 --> 00:11:27,441
- Please don't say that, Father.
218
00:11:27,441 --> 00:11:29,151
All I wanna do is make you proud.
219
00:11:30,694 --> 00:11:32,279
(glass shatters)
220
00:11:32,279 --> 00:11:35,324
- Well, you're not a man
and you're not a war hero.
221
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,492
It's never gonna happen.
222
00:11:39,161 --> 00:11:40,746
Now go to the shops.
223
00:11:40,746 --> 00:11:42,039
Get me some more whiskey.
224
00:11:49,046 --> 00:11:53,133
- Of course, dad, whatever
you need. Of course.
225
00:11:57,304 --> 00:11:59,389
(sighs)
226
00:12:02,142 --> 00:12:05,020
(sheep bleating)
227
00:12:10,317 --> 00:12:11,360
- Afternoon.
228
00:12:15,113 --> 00:12:15,989
-All right?
229
00:12:15,989 --> 00:12:19,076
- We're looking for an
emu village. You seen it?
230
00:12:19,076 --> 00:12:20,535
- Emu village?
231
00:12:20,535 --> 00:12:22,537
Nah, not around here, mate.
232
00:12:22,537 --> 00:12:24,164
- Oh, not to worry.
233
00:12:24,164 --> 00:12:25,290
Have a wonderful day.
234
00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:28,543
- It's my sheep.
235
00:12:30,462 --> 00:12:31,546
- What?
236
00:12:31,546 --> 00:12:33,757
- This sheep. It's mine.
237
00:12:33,757 --> 00:12:34,675
I didn't steal it.
238
00:12:37,052 --> 00:12:37,886
- Okay.
239
00:12:39,638 --> 00:12:42,057
-All right. You are good.
240
00:12:42,057 --> 00:12:43,976
I was rooting that sheep, yeah, yeah.
241
00:12:45,394 --> 00:12:46,520
- We're gonna go away.
242
00:12:48,772 --> 00:12:50,691
- All that shit I said
about the sheep was a lie.
243
00:12:50,691 --> 00:12:52,317
Promise you won't tell.
244
00:12:52,317 --> 00:12:54,486
I'll let you lot do
whatever you want to me.
245
00:12:54,486 --> 00:12:56,280
No holds barred.
246
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,241
- We'll probably get going,
but have a great afternoon.
247
00:12:59,241 --> 00:13:01,118
- Every day the coppers come to my house
248
00:13:01,118 --> 00:13:03,704
and try to stop me from
rooting my jumbucks.
249
00:13:03,704 --> 00:13:05,080
But I'll show them.
250
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,291
- Cuz, I don't think you
should be rooting sheep, eh?
251
00:13:07,291 --> 00:13:09,251
- They can't stop us
rooting if we're dead.
252
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:10,168
Come on, sheep.
253
00:13:12,087 --> 00:13:13,046
Suck it, idiots.
254
00:13:22,848 --> 00:13:25,267
- Right, well, let's make camp.
255
00:13:26,476 --> 00:13:27,811
It's getting dark anyway.
256
00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:35,527
- That bloke was rooting that sheep.
257
00:13:38,405 --> 00:13:42,242
- My God, these casualty figures. (sighs)
258
00:13:42,242 --> 00:13:43,994
This war may rest on the shoulders
259
00:13:43,994 --> 00:13:47,831
of four ragtag misfits deep in the bush.
260
00:13:47,831 --> 00:13:51,001
(tense music)
261
00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:52,502
Keep them safe, Aussie Jesus.
262
00:13:56,882 --> 00:14:00,010
(crickets chirping)
263
00:14:08,852 --> 00:14:10,854
(Mary Sue sighs)
264
00:14:10,854 --> 00:14:11,730
- I am sorry you're not allowed
265
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:12,939
to sit around our fire, Private.
266
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,067
But we got to know you, and-
267
00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:15,942
- Yeah, I know.
268
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:17,152
You don't wanna get to know me
269
00:14:17,152 --> 00:14:19,446
because you don't wanna
get upset when I die.
270
00:14:19,446 --> 00:14:20,614
You already said that.
271
00:14:27,871 --> 00:14:30,999
- Hey.
272
00:14:30,999 --> 00:14:32,459
Want some sheep?
273
00:14:32,459 --> 00:14:36,254
- Oh, no, thank you. I don't
eat meat or meat products.
274
00:14:36,254 --> 00:14:38,340
- (spits loudly) What?
275
00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:40,425
What are you on about? No meat?
276
00:14:40,425 --> 00:14:43,470
- Or meat products.
- Like milk?
277
00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:45,555
- Yeah.
- Well, what about cheese?
278
00:14:45,555 --> 00:14:46,807
- No cheese.
279
00:14:46,807 --> 00:14:48,308
- Well, what if you got bitten by a snake
280
00:14:48,308 --> 00:14:49,476
and you needed an anti-venom
281
00:14:49,559 --> 00:14:51,895
and you only anti-venom
available was from another snake
282
00:14:51,895 --> 00:14:53,772
and if you didn't have it, you'd die?
283
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,026
- I guess I would use
the anti-venom to live.
284
00:14:58,026 --> 00:14:59,444
- Gotcha, fuckhead!
285
00:14:59,444 --> 00:15:01,321
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down.
286
00:15:01,321 --> 00:15:03,198
All right? We're all in this together.
287
00:15:03,198 --> 00:15:06,451
The real enemy's out there. Yeah?
288
00:15:06,451 --> 00:15:08,078
Any of us could die tomorrow.
289
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:11,039
You know, in my old platoon,
290
00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:14,000
we did this thing where
we took our valuable items
291
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,044
and we put it in a satchel.
292
00:15:16,044 --> 00:15:20,006
And the last one left alive
gets to keep everything.
293
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:25,011
I'll start. I've got my
lucky solid gold watch.
294
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,388
It's worth a lot of money.
295
00:15:28,849 --> 00:15:32,727
- This is a photo of my
absolute favourite steam engine.
296
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,484
- Well, I, I don't think
you're really getting it.
297
00:15:39,484 --> 00:15:42,612
You know, like I've put
in a solid gold watch.
298
00:15:42,612 --> 00:15:43,947
That's worth something.
299
00:15:43,947 --> 00:15:45,115
That's just a photo.
300
00:15:46,158 --> 00:15:47,367
What, what have you got?
301
00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:49,411
- This is my most valuable possession.
302
00:15:50,996 --> 00:15:53,165
-Again, it's just another photo.
303
00:15:53,165 --> 00:15:56,084
Like, I've put in basically money.
304
00:15:56,084 --> 00:15:58,253
- But a steam engine is
more valuable than a watch.
305
00:15:58,253 --> 00:16:01,506
- You didn't put a steam
engine in the satchel, did you?
306
00:16:01,506 --> 00:16:02,966
You put a photo.
307
00:16:02,966 --> 00:16:05,177
- This is my most valuable possession.
308
00:16:05,177 --> 00:16:06,595
- Please tell me it's worth money.
309
00:16:06,595 --> 00:16:08,555
- My dead son's foreskin.
- Oh, okay.
310
00:16:09,681 --> 00:16:12,017
- Most precious thing in the world.
311
00:16:12,017 --> 00:16:14,019
- What am I supposed to do with that?
312
00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:15,020
- Look at it.
313
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:16,271
Think about my dead son.
314
00:16:17,856 --> 00:16:19,900
- You know what? I hope I die first.
315
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,444
I can't believe I've gotta
put up with this fucker.
316
00:16:26,865 --> 00:16:32,078
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
317
00:16:42,214 --> 00:16:43,715
- Hmm.
318
00:16:43,715 --> 00:16:48,553
Oh, wow.
319
00:16:48,553 --> 00:16:49,429
Wow.
320
00:16:49,429 --> 00:16:51,431
What a beautiful picture you've drawn
321
00:16:51,431 --> 00:16:53,475
on your very first birthday today.
322
00:16:56,311 --> 00:17:00,148
We may be simple emu villagers,
but our lives are good.
323
00:17:01,066 --> 00:17:03,860
Let's go live our lives. Come on.
324
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:07,447
(gentle music continues)
325
00:17:10,909 --> 00:17:13,495
(tense music)
326
00:17:31,763 --> 00:17:35,225
- I'll always love you
and I'll never betray you.
327
00:17:35,225 --> 00:17:36,685
- The good thing about our relationship
328
00:17:36,685 --> 00:17:39,271
is the loyalty that we have.
329
00:17:39,271 --> 00:17:40,564
- [Man] We have bad news, Private.
330
00:17:40,564 --> 00:17:43,858
Your wife's been identified
as a spy working for the emus.
331
00:17:43,858 --> 00:17:46,403
She married you to gain
access to our intel.
332
00:17:46,403 --> 00:17:49,197
- You're wrong. You're so wrong.
333
00:17:51,658 --> 00:17:56,913
(woman crying out in pain)
(dramatic music)
334
00:18:01,084 --> 00:18:03,503
(baby crying)
335
00:18:03,503 --> 00:18:04,379
- No!
336
00:18:10,343 --> 00:18:14,681
(dramatic music)
(emu baby chirping)
337
00:18:14,681 --> 00:18:18,310
(tense, discordant music)
338
00:18:29,404 --> 00:18:34,618
(flames roaring)
(emus shrieking)
339
00:18:43,126 --> 00:18:44,294
I've seen war.
340
00:18:47,005 --> 00:18:48,840
I see war.
341
00:18:51,926 --> 00:18:53,178
I've seen men die.
342
00:18:57,057 --> 00:18:58,642
I've seen birds die.
343
00:19:00,435 --> 00:19:03,355
An evil lurks in these lands.
344
00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:08,652
Does good and bad exist in this hell?
345
00:19:08,652 --> 00:19:10,153
And which side are we on?
346
00:19:12,822 --> 00:19:15,659
- I'm scared, mama. I don't wanna die.
347
00:19:16,701 --> 00:19:18,453
- Don't worry, my child.
348
00:19:18,453 --> 00:19:19,829
It'll all be over soon.
349
00:19:21,206 --> 00:19:26,336
- Are we to become monsters
in order to defeat a monster?
350
00:19:28,963 --> 00:19:32,676
How deep into this
darkness must we venture?
351
00:19:38,973 --> 00:19:43,061
And what horrors are lurking there for us?
352
00:19:48,608 --> 00:19:52,195
(emu huts crashing down)
353
00:19:53,655 --> 00:19:56,533
(dramatic music)
354
00:20:00,578 --> 00:20:05,792
(mysterious music)
(water dripping)
355
00:20:06,751 --> 00:20:10,547
- My queen, a letter has
arrived from our new allies.
356
00:20:11,506 --> 00:20:14,092
- Very good, my little helper.
357
00:20:14,092 --> 00:20:17,429
- Will they be sending their
army soon, Your Majesty?
358
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,222
- Hmm.
359
00:20:19,222 --> 00:20:24,227
They've arranged for a surprise
guest to join the battle.
360
00:20:26,354 --> 00:20:30,233
Apparently, he is already here.
361
00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:34,946
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
362
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:38,616
- Come to mama.
363
00:20:40,952 --> 00:20:43,663
Oh!
(dramatic music)
364
00:20:43,663 --> 00:20:46,166
(man chuckling)
365
00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:49,586
Oh, that's right. My boy, my good boy.
366
00:20:51,838 --> 00:20:52,881
Oh, oh, yes.
367
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,804
- What are you guys
gonna do after the war?
368
00:20:59,804 --> 00:21:01,097
- I wanna be the first person
369
00:21:01,097 --> 00:21:03,933
to drill a hole straight
through Ayers Rock.
370
00:21:03,933 --> 00:21:06,686
I've got a feeling
there's gold inside there.
371
00:21:06,686 --> 00:21:08,188
- It's Uluru.
372
00:21:08,188 --> 00:21:10,982
And if you drill through
that, I'll drill through you.
373
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,693
- Do you have a daughter, Major?
374
00:21:13,693 --> 00:21:15,153
- Yeah, I do.
375
00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:17,822
But just between you and I,
376
00:21:17,822 --> 00:21:20,700
I wish the emus had
killed her and not my son.
377
00:21:22,994 --> 00:21:25,538
- Well, I'm sure she loves you.
378
00:21:26,456 --> 00:21:29,542
Maybe you'd love her too
if you got to know her.
379
00:21:29,542 --> 00:21:30,919
- Nah, no point.
380
00:21:33,546 --> 00:21:34,422
Right.
381
00:21:34,422 --> 00:21:35,715
Suspected enemy activity ahead.
382
00:21:35,715 --> 00:21:37,884
Men, prepare yourselves.
383
00:21:37,884 --> 00:21:40,470
(tense music)
384
00:21:42,305 --> 00:21:45,558
- Oh my God. Don't shoot!
- Yeah, don't shoot.
385
00:21:48,061 --> 00:21:49,646
- Bloody hell.
386
00:21:49,646 --> 00:21:53,399
It's famous conjoined twin
explorers Burke and Wills.
387
00:21:53,399 --> 00:21:55,151
- That's us!
- That's us!
388
00:21:55,151 --> 00:21:56,611
- I love you blokes.
389
00:21:56,611 --> 00:21:59,697
You're my absolute favourite.
390
00:21:59,697 --> 00:22:03,117
- We can explore anything.
We never get lost.
391
00:22:03,117 --> 00:22:04,661
- Oh, well then how come your hand
392
00:22:04,661 --> 00:22:06,329
got lost down my pants last night
393
00:22:06,329 --> 00:22:08,039
and jacked off my dick?
394
00:22:08,039 --> 00:22:09,582
- Wills!
395
00:22:09,666 --> 00:22:12,418
(both laughing)
396
00:22:18,132 --> 00:22:23,346
(Burke's head explodes)
(Will shrieks)
397
00:22:25,723 --> 00:22:28,351
- Sniper! Take cover, now!
(intense music)
398
00:22:52,834 --> 00:22:54,961
- [Narrator] The Black
Prince of Spaghetti Street
399
00:22:54,961 --> 00:22:58,923
was the most decorated
sniper in the Italian army
400
00:22:58,923 --> 00:23:00,258
during World War I.
401
00:23:00,258 --> 00:23:02,302
He was called the Black
Prince of Spaghetti Street
402
00:23:02,302 --> 00:23:05,388
because legend has it the
street where he grew up
403
00:23:05,388 --> 00:23:07,432
had restaurants that sold spaghetti.
404
00:23:07,432 --> 00:23:09,225
He was brought to Australia by Mussolini
405
00:23:09,225 --> 00:23:11,686
to help defeat the Australian army.
406
00:23:24,741 --> 00:23:27,201
(dramatic music)
407
00:23:27,201 --> 00:23:29,954
- Shit, did he just say Spaghetti street?
408
00:23:29,954 --> 00:23:32,248
No one's ever beaten
him in a sniper battle.
409
00:23:33,207 --> 00:23:34,167
Someone was able to do that,
410
00:23:34,167 --> 00:23:35,793
they'd have my respect forever.
411
00:23:39,964 --> 00:23:42,842
(Mary Sue sighs)
412
00:23:45,011 --> 00:23:47,889
(dramatic music)
413
00:23:51,851 --> 00:23:54,479
(shot firing)
414
00:23:54,479 --> 00:23:57,190
(gentle music)
415
00:24:14,457 --> 00:24:16,751
- Did you, did you see that, Major?
416
00:24:16,751 --> 00:24:18,962
- What? No, no, actually
I wasn't watching.
417
00:24:28,471 --> 00:24:31,557
(crickets chirping)
418
00:24:32,517 --> 00:24:34,060
According to the mercury levels,
419
00:24:34,060 --> 00:24:35,812
it's gonna be a real cold one tonight.
420
00:24:35,812 --> 00:24:38,147
So we're all gonna have
to kiss for warmth.
421
00:24:38,147 --> 00:24:40,358
So you two, into the tent and get to it.
422
00:24:41,484 --> 00:24:42,485
- What? No way.
- But, Major!
423
00:24:42,485 --> 00:24:45,154
- You two are gonna kiss for warmth.
424
00:24:45,154 --> 00:24:46,489
And that's an order!
425
00:24:47,532 --> 00:24:49,826
- I hate being in the Australian army.
426
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,371
- Rookie, you had a good day today.
427
00:24:53,371 --> 00:24:55,039
So you're gonna bunk in with me.
428
00:24:56,124 --> 00:24:57,333
- Okay, Major.
429
00:25:09,178 --> 00:25:10,930
- Is this warming you up?
430
00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:12,682
-A little, I guess.
431
00:25:17,061 --> 00:25:19,939
(romantic music)
432
00:25:23,943 --> 00:25:28,740
- You know, you remind me
quite a lot of my son, Private.
433
00:25:28,740 --> 00:25:32,118
- W-would you mind if I called you dad?
434
00:25:33,286 --> 00:25:36,289
- Yeah, I'd quite like that, Private.
435
00:25:36,289 --> 00:25:38,750
- I'd like that too.
436
00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:39,751
Dad.
437
00:25:39,751 --> 00:25:43,546
(romantic music continuing)
438
00:25:54,307 --> 00:25:57,143
(birds chirping)
439
00:26:10,698 --> 00:26:15,912
Oi!
(energetic rock music)
440
00:26:17,371 --> 00:26:19,165
- Hey! That's my gun!
441
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:25,421
(Jackie screaming)
(shots firing)
442
00:26:35,181 --> 00:26:39,602
(energetic rock music continuing)
443
00:26:58,454 --> 00:26:59,330
(sinister music)
444
00:26:59,330 --> 00:27:03,167
- I'm gonna take my
time with you, fuckhead.
445
00:27:04,627 --> 00:27:05,461
- Dad?
446
00:27:06,546 --> 00:27:07,421
- Son?
447
00:27:09,507 --> 00:27:11,759
(melancholy music)
448
00:27:11,759 --> 00:27:12,802
Okay, mate.
449
00:27:12,802 --> 00:27:16,013
Now you be good, and I'll
see you next weekend, okay?
450
00:27:16,013 --> 00:27:18,558
- Dad, can I come stay with you?
451
00:27:18,558 --> 00:27:20,852
I hate staying with mom and Darryl.
452
00:27:20,852 --> 00:27:23,479
- Not now, son, but I
promise I'm working on it.
453
00:27:27,817 --> 00:27:29,569
- We'll take it from here, Jackie.
454
00:27:29,569 --> 00:27:31,320
- Oh, fuck off, Darryl.
455
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:32,196
- What was that?
456
00:27:33,573 --> 00:27:34,407
- Nothing.
457
00:27:37,827 --> 00:27:40,663
- Sorry, daddy. I've chosen my side.
458
00:27:42,498 --> 00:27:44,959
(tense music)
459
00:27:44,959 --> 00:27:46,210
- What? Wait.
460
00:27:46,210 --> 00:27:47,086
No, no.
461
00:27:49,922 --> 00:27:50,798
No!
462
00:27:50,798 --> 00:27:54,260
(dramatic choral music)
463
00:28:01,976 --> 00:28:07,190
(gun cocking)
(dramatic music)
464
00:28:14,822 --> 00:28:16,324
(crowd laughing)
465
00:28:16,324 --> 00:28:19,076
- I went on a date with
Captain Cook the other day.
466
00:28:19,076 --> 00:28:21,412
More like me cook him dinner
467
00:28:21,412 --> 00:28:24,624
while he roots me with his tiny dick!
468
00:28:24,624 --> 00:28:27,501
(crowd laughing)
469
00:28:31,214 --> 00:28:32,965
Well, look who it is.
470
00:28:32,965 --> 00:28:33,883
Ladies and gentlemen,
471
00:28:33,883 --> 00:28:37,094
we do have a very
special guest in tonight,
472
00:28:37,094 --> 00:28:38,763
the prime Minister himself,
473
00:28:38,763 --> 00:28:40,306
Mr. Harold Hall.
474
00:28:44,477 --> 00:28:46,979
I thought I smelled piss.
475
00:28:46,979 --> 00:28:48,814
(crowd laughing)
476
00:28:48,814 --> 00:28:51,817
Hey, here's my impression of Mr. Hall.
477
00:28:51,817 --> 00:28:55,947
"Ooh. Ooh. I'm the Prime Minister.
478
00:28:55,947 --> 00:28:58,115
I hope I don't piss myself again."
479
00:28:58,115 --> 00:29:01,744
(crowd laughing)
480
00:29:01,744 --> 00:29:03,913
"Yum, yum, yum.
481
00:29:03,913 --> 00:29:07,458
My tiny, bad dick is
pissing right in my gob."
482
00:29:09,418 --> 00:29:11,045
Dirty little piss boy.
Dirty little piss boy.
483
00:29:11,045 --> 00:29:11,921
Dirty little piss boy.
484
00:29:11,921 --> 00:29:13,547
Fuck you. Fuck you.
485
00:29:13,547 --> 00:29:14,799
Yeah.
- Okay, none of that.
486
00:29:14,799 --> 00:29:16,300
- [Comedian] What is this?
487
00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:18,928
Oh, I was joking!
- Come on.
488
00:29:18,928 --> 00:29:21,847
(prison gates slam shut)
(inmates yelling)
489
00:29:21,847 --> 00:29:25,226
- [Prison Guard] Come on, get in there.
490
00:29:27,353 --> 00:29:29,772
- You know, you really are
491
00:29:29,772 --> 00:29:33,943
the most gifted
impressionist I've ever seen.
492
00:29:34,944 --> 00:29:35,903
- You could have just come up
493
00:29:35,903 --> 00:29:38,030
for an autograph after the show, love.
494
00:29:39,865 --> 00:29:40,825
- One question.
495
00:29:43,828 --> 00:29:45,830
How did you know I said that?
496
00:29:47,206 --> 00:29:48,291
- Said what?
497
00:29:49,208 --> 00:29:51,669
- In your act, you said,
498
00:29:51,669 --> 00:29:54,255
"Yum, yum, my small bad dick
499
00:29:54,255 --> 00:29:56,590
is pissing into my own gob."
500
00:29:57,466 --> 00:29:58,968
I've only ever said that in private.
501
00:29:58,968 --> 00:30:01,846
How did you know I said that?
502
00:30:01,846 --> 00:30:04,849
(mysterious music)
503
00:30:09,228 --> 00:30:12,982
Nevertheless, it's a shame to
see such talent go to waste,
504
00:30:13,899 --> 00:30:18,612
what with your execution for
treason set for the morning.
505
00:30:18,612 --> 00:30:19,989
- What? You can't.
506
00:30:21,073 --> 00:30:25,870
- I'm Harold Hall, baby. I can
do whatever I damn well want.
507
00:30:28,664 --> 00:30:30,082
- What do you want from me?
508
00:30:32,084 --> 00:30:34,628
(Prime Minister spits)
509
00:30:34,628 --> 00:30:36,213
- Yesterday we received word
510
00:30:36,213 --> 00:30:38,257
that a platoon are behind enemy lines,
511
00:30:38,257 --> 00:30:39,884
missing, presumed dead.
512
00:30:41,052 --> 00:30:43,429
We need a mole to go undercover
513
00:30:43,429 --> 00:30:46,015
and exploit the Queen Emu's only weakness,
514
00:30:46,015 --> 00:30:47,266
her horniness.
515
00:30:49,143 --> 00:30:52,438
Up until now, I had no idea
how we were gonna do it.
516
00:30:52,438 --> 00:30:53,731
But sweetheart,
517
00:30:53,731 --> 00:30:57,151
if you are half as good
at impersonating emus
518
00:30:57,151 --> 00:31:00,613
as you are at me pissing myself,
519
00:31:02,907 --> 00:31:05,076
you could be just what this country needs.
520
00:31:06,660 --> 00:31:09,872
- An emu impression is the
hardest impression in the world.
521
00:31:10,873 --> 00:31:13,793
It's impossible to pull
off. No one is that good.
522
00:31:14,710 --> 00:31:17,421
- Well, then, it looks like
you have a choice to make,
523
00:31:17,421 --> 00:31:18,672
doesn't it, sweetheart?
524
00:31:19,590 --> 00:31:22,218
You either rise to the challenge
525
00:31:22,218 --> 00:31:24,387
or you fall to the hangman.
526
00:31:24,387 --> 00:31:26,972
(tense music)
527
00:31:28,140 --> 00:31:31,435
- Fine, I'll do it.
528
00:31:32,353 --> 00:31:33,771
But it's a suicide mission.
529
00:31:35,272 --> 00:31:37,316
- You start basic training at 0800.
530
00:31:38,317 --> 00:31:39,193
Guards.
531
00:31:42,696 --> 00:31:45,449
Good. She'll get us in the door.
532
00:31:46,826 --> 00:31:48,077
But now we need to find
533
00:31:48,077 --> 00:31:51,705
the sexiest and horniest
human in this country
534
00:31:52,748 --> 00:31:55,251
to fuck the Queen Emu.
535
00:32:02,633 --> 00:32:06,262
- No, no. (sobbing)
536
00:32:06,262 --> 00:32:07,513
- I'm sorry, ma'am.
537
00:32:07,513 --> 00:32:10,641
- No, not my Joey! No!
538
00:32:10,641 --> 00:32:13,394
- Your husband wanted me to give you this.
539
00:32:13,394 --> 00:32:15,104
- No. No!
540
00:32:17,940 --> 00:32:20,359
(melancholy music)
541
00:32:20,359 --> 00:32:24,405
- [Joey] Dear wife, I love
you, babe. But I'm dead.
542
00:32:24,405 --> 00:32:28,200
The best thing to do is move
on and root my mate, Alan.
543
00:32:32,121 --> 00:32:33,497
- I'm Alan from the note.
544
00:32:35,124 --> 00:32:37,460
- My Joey wrote this?
545
00:32:37,460 --> 00:32:38,335
- Yeah.
546
00:32:39,503 --> 00:32:41,755
- I mean, I really don't want to,
547
00:32:44,550 --> 00:32:46,844
but if it's what my Joey wanted.
548
00:32:46,844 --> 00:32:47,678
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
549
00:32:47,678 --> 00:32:49,513
He wanted, he told me about 50 times
550
00:32:49,513 --> 00:32:50,764
during the war or whatever,
551
00:32:50,764 --> 00:32:53,517
and he wanted me to come in and do this.
552
00:32:53,517 --> 00:32:57,813
- The bedroom's this way. (sniffles)
553
00:32:57,813 --> 00:32:58,647
-All right. Come on, Alan.
554
00:32:58,647 --> 00:33:00,191
- Oh no.
- We've told you about this.
555
00:33:00,191 --> 00:33:01,025
- Come on, please.
556
00:33:01,025 --> 00:33:04,278
I'm horny. (sobbing) I'm horny.
557
00:33:04,361 --> 00:33:05,404
I'm horny. I'm horny.
558
00:33:06,322 --> 00:33:08,073
I'm horny.
559
00:33:08,073 --> 00:33:10,659
Please, please. I need this.
560
00:33:10,659 --> 00:33:11,744
- Is he dead?
561
00:33:11,744 --> 00:33:13,412
- I need this. I need it.
562
00:33:13,412 --> 00:33:14,705
I'm horny.
563
00:33:14,705 --> 00:33:16,874
If this is about joining the war,
564
00:33:16,874 --> 00:33:18,876
I've already told you I don't want to.
565
00:33:18,876 --> 00:33:20,836
- Prime Minister wants to talk to you.
566
00:33:23,547 --> 00:33:26,383
(dramatic music)
567
00:33:28,010 --> 00:33:29,428
- You'll all be undercover.
568
00:33:29,428 --> 00:33:32,097
Our scientists have been
studying emus and Italians
569
00:33:32,097 --> 00:33:34,892
24/7 since this war broke out.
570
00:33:34,892 --> 00:33:39,021
We're also utilising the
latest in disguise technology.
571
00:33:39,021 --> 00:33:40,397
These disguises we have for you
572
00:33:40,397 --> 00:33:43,400
will make you completely
indistinguishable from the enemy.
573
00:33:44,318 --> 00:33:46,529
Your mission is to
infiltrate the emu base,
574
00:33:46,529 --> 00:33:49,698
find the Queen Emu so
you can assassinate her.
575
00:33:50,699 --> 00:33:54,537
If you get caught, I'm
afraid they will torture you.
576
00:33:55,746 --> 00:33:59,208
That is why our medic
has fitted each of you
577
00:33:59,208 --> 00:34:02,920
with a cyanide tooth capsule
in your back left molar.
578
00:34:03,963 --> 00:34:09,176
(cyanide capsule breaks)
(gas hissing)
579
00:34:10,052 --> 00:34:11,595
God damn it.
580
00:34:11,595 --> 00:34:14,848
Please do not fiddle
with the cyanide tooth.
581
00:34:14,848 --> 00:34:16,267
They're very temperamental.
582
00:34:17,810 --> 00:34:19,270
Let me tell you about the lair.
583
00:34:19,270 --> 00:34:20,938
The lair has an entrance.
584
00:34:20,938 --> 00:34:23,148
(cyanide capsule shatters)
(gas hissing)
585
00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:24,441
What did I just say?
586
00:34:25,359 --> 00:34:27,695
Please do not fiddle
with the cyanide tooth.
587
00:34:36,829 --> 00:34:38,581
This here is called a lithosphere.
588
00:34:39,957 --> 00:34:43,127
(cyanide capsules shattering)
(gas hissing)
589
00:34:43,127 --> 00:34:45,754
Fuck! Fuck me!
590
00:34:47,256 --> 00:34:49,508
This fucking sucks!
591
00:34:51,385 --> 00:34:52,636
- Mine's not working.
592
00:34:56,390 --> 00:34:58,976
(tense music)
593
00:35:01,145 --> 00:35:02,563
- We are so dead.
594
00:35:13,490 --> 00:35:15,784
- Halt, who goes there?
595
00:35:17,161 --> 00:35:19,955
- (clears throat) Just a, a regular emu.
596
00:35:19,955 --> 00:35:22,333
And this is my Italian friend.
597
00:35:23,959 --> 00:35:27,129
We have some information
regarding the enemy.
598
00:35:27,129 --> 00:35:29,465
- How do we know you
are who you say you are?
599
00:35:32,176 --> 00:35:33,594
- Squawk.
600
00:35:39,808 --> 00:35:42,353
- Correct password. Welcome back, soldier.
601
00:35:44,938 --> 00:35:47,316
- Oh, actually, before you come in,
602
00:35:47,316 --> 00:35:50,527
we just need to run a quick Italian test
603
00:35:50,527 --> 00:35:52,613
to make sure that you are the real deal.
604
00:35:55,074 --> 00:35:56,325
- No worries.
605
00:35:57,618 --> 00:36:02,539
- So, us Italians, what do we like to eat?
606
00:36:02,539 --> 00:36:05,542
Do we like Nonna's spaghetti
607
00:36:05,542 --> 00:36:10,506
or like, sticks and rocks and,
608
00:36:10,506 --> 00:36:12,257
and things on the ground?
609
00:36:14,968 --> 00:36:17,554
(tense music)
610
00:36:23,310 --> 00:36:26,188
(sweat dripping)
611
00:36:39,326 --> 00:36:40,452
Do you need more time?
612
00:36:42,413 --> 00:36:43,580
- No.
613
00:36:43,580 --> 00:36:44,456
No.
614
00:36:45,457 --> 00:36:50,671
It's just that, that question is too easy
615
00:36:50,963 --> 00:36:54,633
for an advanced Italian like myself.
616
00:36:54,633 --> 00:36:57,636
- Ah, I, well, I love that Italian spirit.
617
00:36:57,636 --> 00:36:59,555
Okay, I'll, I'll ask you another one.
618
00:37:00,973 --> 00:37:06,145
Us Italians, what do we like
to drink in the nighttime?
619
00:37:06,145 --> 00:37:10,691
Do we like drinking Italian wine
620
00:37:12,025 --> 00:37:14,319
or, um,
621
00:37:15,362 --> 00:37:18,574
dog shit that's been sitting in the sun?
622
00:37:23,912 --> 00:37:29,126
(tense music)
(sweat dripping)
623
00:37:41,513 --> 00:37:42,389
- Now listen up,
624
00:37:42,389 --> 00:37:45,559
because this next piece of
intel could save your life.
625
00:37:45,559 --> 00:37:47,936
Italians love to drink porno,
626
00:37:47,936 --> 00:37:50,481
porno, porno, porno, porno,
627
00:37:50,481 --> 00:37:51,315
porno, porno, porno, porno.
628
00:37:51,315 --> 00:37:56,487
- I'm too horny to listen.
- Porn, porno, porno, porno.
629
00:37:59,531 --> 00:38:01,116
(triumphant music)
- I got it.
630
00:38:01,116 --> 00:38:03,494
The answer is-
(gunshot)
631
00:38:03,494 --> 00:38:05,829
(groans)
632
00:38:05,829 --> 00:38:06,705
Oh.
633
00:38:06,705 --> 00:38:07,581
Should have said wine.
634
00:38:09,625 --> 00:38:12,503
(dramatic music)
635
00:38:18,509 --> 00:38:21,303
(intense music)
636
00:38:22,763 --> 00:38:24,223
- Don't die on me now, bruv.
637
00:38:26,642 --> 00:38:27,601
Come on.
638
00:38:27,601 --> 00:38:28,811
Don't die on me, mate.
639
00:38:32,481 --> 00:38:33,315
Come back to me.
640
00:38:35,317 --> 00:38:36,151
Yeah?
641
00:38:36,151 --> 00:38:38,862
(breathing heavily)
642
00:38:38,862 --> 00:38:40,864
Yeah!
643
00:38:40,864 --> 00:38:42,324
- You saved me.
644
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,952
- Course I did, bruv.
645
00:38:44,952 --> 00:38:45,869
- If that had happened to you,
646
00:38:45,869 --> 00:38:48,622
I probably would've just kicked
your body into the creek.
647
00:38:50,499 --> 00:38:53,335
- Good thing you were closer
to the explosion, then, bruv.
648
00:38:54,253 --> 00:38:55,546
- You're all right, mate.
649
00:38:56,463 --> 00:38:59,383
(emotional music)
650
00:39:00,676 --> 00:39:01,552
(sinister music)
651
00:39:01,552 --> 00:39:02,719
- Your Highness,
652
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:03,554
we have an emu here
653
00:39:03,554 --> 00:39:06,640
with intel on the humans.
654
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:11,144
- Well, look what we have here.
655
00:39:11,144 --> 00:39:14,690
Such a fine specimen.
656
00:39:16,900 --> 00:39:19,361
What information do you have, my dear?
657
00:39:20,529 --> 00:39:23,282
- The, the Prime Minister sent an agent
658
00:39:23,282 --> 00:39:25,367
in disguise as an Italian man
659
00:39:25,367 --> 00:39:27,911
to assassinate you, Your Majesty.
660
00:39:28,954 --> 00:39:30,455
I brought him in and,
661
00:39:30,455 --> 00:39:32,124
and I, I gave him to the Italian guards.
662
00:39:32,124 --> 00:39:34,543
- What if she's a spy
for the humans, mummy?
663
00:39:38,922 --> 00:39:40,716
-Are you really, are you really gonna
664
00:39:40,716 --> 00:39:42,384
listen to this little pussy?
665
00:39:42,384 --> 00:39:47,097
"Oh, mum, I'm a little,
I'm a little pussy."
666
00:39:51,518 --> 00:39:54,730
(Emu Queen laughing)
667
00:39:55,981 --> 00:40:01,194
- He is a little pussy. (chuckles) He is.
668
00:40:02,779 --> 00:40:05,198
- You are hilarious.
669
00:40:05,198 --> 00:40:07,868
You'll perform comedy tomorrow
670
00:40:07,868 --> 00:40:10,704
at the USO show for troops.
671
00:40:10,704 --> 00:40:14,166
- Oh, thanks. But I should
probably sit this one out.
672
00:40:14,166 --> 00:40:16,418
- I must insist.
673
00:40:16,418 --> 00:40:19,963
All we have at the
moment are the executions
674
00:40:19,963 --> 00:40:25,052
and the performance by this little pussy.
675
00:40:25,052 --> 00:40:27,846
(emus laughing)
676
00:40:31,725 --> 00:40:33,352
It's settled.
677
00:40:33,352 --> 00:40:34,770
You'll be performing.
678
00:40:35,729 --> 00:40:36,647
In the meantime,
679
00:40:36,647 --> 00:40:40,484
you can help Emu Boy
with an interrogation.
680
00:40:40,484 --> 00:40:43,362
(sinister music)
681
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:47,115
- Come with me.
682
00:41:00,379 --> 00:41:02,756
(eerie music)
683
00:41:02,756 --> 00:41:06,343
Pick this one up last night.
Haven't cracked him yet.
684
00:41:09,930 --> 00:41:11,765
- (gasping) Ned Kelly?
685
00:41:12,891 --> 00:41:14,267
- We're gonna figure out
686
00:41:14,267 --> 00:41:17,688
to put cameras in toilets.
687
00:41:17,688 --> 00:41:18,772
You know the, the cameras that we have,
688
00:41:18,772 --> 00:41:20,732
the tripods and the hood and the flash.
689
00:41:20,732 --> 00:41:22,484
We're gonna shrink that down.
690
00:41:22,484 --> 00:41:24,111
You know, it's, you know
how fucking hard it is
691
00:41:24,111 --> 00:41:25,570
to fit one of those in the toilets?
692
00:41:25,570 --> 00:41:29,324
And if we can't do that,
make the toilet glass.
693
00:41:29,324 --> 00:41:31,326
(crowd applauding)
694
00:41:31,326 --> 00:41:33,495
It's not that hard, Dr. Scientist.
695
00:41:33,578 --> 00:41:35,497
We can make the toilet glass
696
00:41:35,497 --> 00:41:36,665
and then the floor glass
697
00:41:36,665 --> 00:41:38,583
so we can sit in the chair underneath.
698
00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:40,043
Make it happen.
699
00:41:40,043 --> 00:41:45,257
(uplifting music)
(crowd applauding)
700
00:41:47,509 --> 00:41:50,512
- Thank you, Mr. Kelly.
- Nice legs.
701
00:41:50,512 --> 00:41:53,265
Who do I make it out to?
- Gertrude.
702
00:41:54,766 --> 00:41:57,352
I'm your biggest fan, Mr. Kelly.
703
00:41:57,352 --> 00:42:00,313
Yeah, I just started doing
standup comedy myself.
704
00:42:03,859 --> 00:42:04,901
- Good for you, kid.
705
00:42:06,653 --> 00:42:08,280
Never stop fighting the system.
706
00:42:09,406 --> 00:42:12,075
(gentle music)
707
00:42:16,163 --> 00:42:17,247
- You know the drill.
708
00:42:18,206 --> 00:42:20,834
He doesn't answer a question
709
00:42:20,834 --> 00:42:23,628
and you blast him full of electrodes.
710
00:42:24,755 --> 00:42:26,590
(tense music)
711
00:42:26,590 --> 00:42:31,803
Now, where do you humans keep your grain?
712
00:42:36,892 --> 00:42:39,227
- I never tell you filthy emus nothing.
713
00:42:42,898 --> 00:42:46,109
(Emu Boy chuckles)
714
00:42:46,109 --> 00:42:51,323
(electricity crackling)
(Ned grunts in pain)
715
00:42:58,205 --> 00:43:01,875
Is that all you got? (panting)
716
00:43:01,875 --> 00:43:02,918
You have to kill me.
717
00:43:11,009 --> 00:43:12,344
- That can be arranged.
718
00:43:15,597 --> 00:43:18,433
(sinister music)
719
00:43:22,938 --> 00:43:28,151
Just pop this in here.
720
00:43:30,445 --> 00:43:34,699
(shot firing)
(blood spurting)
721
00:43:34,699 --> 00:43:36,952
(Emu Boy laughing)
722
00:43:36,952 --> 00:43:39,663
(sombre music)
723
00:43:48,922 --> 00:43:51,216
- Dog shit isn't even a drink.
724
00:43:51,216 --> 00:43:53,343
- Are you all right, my boy?
725
00:43:53,343 --> 00:43:56,471
- Yeah, but I got caught
trying to be a spy.
726
00:43:56,471 --> 00:43:58,181
How long have you been here for?
727
00:43:58,181 --> 00:43:59,808
- Not long.
728
00:43:59,808 --> 00:44:01,893
Apparently the emus are
gonna execute us tomorrow
729
00:44:01,893 --> 00:44:04,563
at their USO show to entertain the troops.
730
00:44:04,563 --> 00:44:07,190
-Ah, that sucks.
731
00:44:07,190 --> 00:44:09,651
I got sent to kill an emu or something
732
00:44:09,651 --> 00:44:12,571
'cause I'm Australia's
sexiest and horniest man.
733
00:44:13,822 --> 00:44:16,199
- Emus surrounded my
church, brought me here.
734
00:44:17,409 --> 00:44:18,869
But maybe it's for a reason.
735
00:44:19,911 --> 00:44:21,037
To save your souls.
736
00:44:22,247 --> 00:44:24,583
Is there anything any
of you wish to confess?
737
00:44:26,334 --> 00:44:28,461
- Yes.
(gentle music)
738
00:44:28,461 --> 00:44:31,173
I don't wanna die without the
truth about me being known.
739
00:44:32,257 --> 00:44:34,551
The truth is, Major, I'm actually your-
740
00:44:34,551 --> 00:44:38,138
- Did you say you're Australia's
sexiest and horniest man?
741
00:44:38,138 --> 00:44:40,015
- Yeah. Why?
742
00:44:40,015 --> 00:44:41,975
- There might be hope for us yet.
743
00:44:41,975 --> 00:44:42,809
(stirring music)
744
00:44:42,809 --> 00:44:44,019
Private, do you remember
how much heat we generated
745
00:44:44,019 --> 00:44:45,770
the other day we had a
bit of a kiss in the tent?
746
00:44:45,770 --> 00:44:47,230
- Yeah?
747
00:44:47,230 --> 00:44:49,399
- Well, imagine how much
heat we can generate
748
00:44:49,399 --> 00:44:51,318
if the two of us, the priest,
749
00:44:51,401 --> 00:44:53,528
and Australia's sexiest and horniest man
750
00:44:53,528 --> 00:44:55,739
went absolutely bonkers at each other.
751
00:44:57,699 --> 00:44:58,950
(inspiring music)
752
00:44:58,950 --> 00:44:59,826
- Oh no.
753
00:44:59,826 --> 00:45:00,744
If I have sex with Dad,
754
00:45:00,744 --> 00:45:03,580
this priest and Australia's
sexiest and horniest man,
755
00:45:03,580 --> 00:45:05,624
they'll uncover my secret.
756
00:45:05,624 --> 00:45:07,709
I have to think of a really good excuse.
757
00:45:08,627 --> 00:45:10,170
(tense music)
758
00:45:10,170 --> 00:45:11,254
Oh, I can't.
759
00:45:13,006 --> 00:45:15,091
My dick exploded when I was a baby.
760
00:45:19,471 --> 00:45:20,764
And rats attacked it.
761
00:45:22,974 --> 00:45:25,602
It's more scabs than dick at this point.
762
00:45:27,604 --> 00:45:31,399
It's also quite infected. (sighs)
763
00:45:31,399 --> 00:45:34,152
My mouth and hands are
too dirty to use as well.
764
00:45:34,152 --> 00:45:35,528
You know diseases.
765
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:38,156
- Oh, gross.
766
00:45:39,741 --> 00:45:41,243
Ugh.
767
00:45:41,243 --> 00:45:43,453
Never mind. You sit this one out, soldier.
768
00:45:43,453 --> 00:45:46,331
The rest of us, we're gonna
have to work twice as hard.
769
00:45:47,958 --> 00:45:50,085
- This is completely against my religion.
770
00:45:51,503 --> 00:45:55,090
But as long as none of
you tell God, I'm in.
771
00:45:55,090 --> 00:45:55,966
(stirring music continuing)
772
00:45:55,966 --> 00:45:58,176
- You idiots wanna generate some heat?
773
00:45:58,176 --> 00:46:00,303
- I'm Australia's horniest man.
774
00:46:00,303 --> 00:46:03,765
I'll burn a hole in this place
hotter than the goddamn sun.
775
00:46:04,808 --> 00:46:06,559
Now show me them butts.
776
00:46:13,984 --> 00:46:16,653
- Mate, I could really
go for a feed right now.
777
00:46:16,653 --> 00:46:19,948
- Yeah, we should get
some bush tucker, bruv.
778
00:46:19,948 --> 00:46:24,077
- Archie, I wanna tell you a secret.
779
00:46:24,077 --> 00:46:25,412
I don't tell many people this,
780
00:46:25,412 --> 00:46:28,248
but I actually love to eat food.
781
00:46:28,248 --> 00:46:32,669
So if you're talking about
getting some food, I'm so keen.
782
00:46:32,669 --> 00:46:33,586
- I am, bruv.
783
00:46:33,586 --> 00:46:35,046
My mum's from around this way.
784
00:46:35,046 --> 00:46:38,049
There's food everywhere
if you know where to look.
785
00:46:38,049 --> 00:46:41,177
(upbeat rock music)
786
00:46:55,734 --> 00:46:59,487
(droning didgeridoo music)
787
00:47:20,675 --> 00:47:22,218
♪ Two big boys ♪
788
00:47:22,218 --> 00:47:24,846
♪ We're the best of friends ♪
789
00:47:24,846 --> 00:47:26,931
♪ With two big boys ♪
790
00:47:26,931 --> 00:47:29,225
♪ Friendship never ends ♪
791
00:47:29,225 --> 00:47:31,227
♪ We're two big boys ♪
792
00:47:31,227 --> 00:47:33,855
♪ We're the best of friends ♪
793
00:47:33,855 --> 00:47:35,607
♪ Two big boys ♪
794
00:47:35,607 --> 00:47:37,901
♪ Our friendship never ends ♪
795
00:47:37,901 --> 00:47:41,112
♪ Yeah, two big boys ♪
796
00:47:52,624 --> 00:47:55,460
- You're a natural at finding
this bush tucker, Archie.
797
00:47:55,460 --> 00:47:57,045
This tastes so good.
798
00:47:57,045 --> 00:47:58,421
- Thanks, Brian.
799
00:47:58,421 --> 00:48:00,673
You're good at eating it too.
800
00:48:00,673 --> 00:48:02,342
- Thank you.
801
00:48:02,342 --> 00:48:04,052
Not many people notice that.
802
00:48:09,557 --> 00:48:10,433
(emotional music)
803
00:48:10,433 --> 00:48:12,519
Archie, I'm sorry about what happened
804
00:48:12,519 --> 00:48:16,231
between my great-grandfather
and your great-grandfather.
805
00:48:16,231 --> 00:48:18,942
You're a good soldier
and you're a good man.
806
00:48:23,071 --> 00:48:24,447
- I appreciate that, bruv.
807
00:48:28,535 --> 00:48:29,411
- Friends?
808
00:48:33,039 --> 00:48:33,915
- Friends.
809
00:48:36,584 --> 00:48:40,463
(emotional music continuing)
810
00:48:44,092 --> 00:48:48,430
(Alan, priest and Major groaning)
811
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:01,025
(flames crackling)
(groaning continuing)
812
00:49:01,025 --> 00:49:02,277
- I think it's working.
813
00:49:02,277 --> 00:49:03,236
Keep going.
814
00:49:04,946 --> 00:49:07,949
(triumphant music)
815
00:49:11,744 --> 00:49:15,081
(groaning continuing)
816
00:49:30,346 --> 00:49:31,806
(triumphant music continuing)
817
00:49:31,806 --> 00:49:33,099
- We did it! You did it!
818
00:49:33,099 --> 00:49:33,975
- Yeah!
819
00:49:37,228 --> 00:49:38,897
- Let's get the hell outta here.
820
00:49:41,900 --> 00:49:42,734
- Come on, Alan.
821
00:49:44,110 --> 00:49:46,905
- I'll be done on a sec.
I'll catch up with you later.
822
00:49:48,573 --> 00:49:50,783
- You two go on. I'll wait with him.
823
00:50:01,878 --> 00:50:07,091
(gun cocking)
(tense music)
824
00:50:11,346 --> 00:50:14,224
(crowd cheering)
825
00:50:23,733 --> 00:50:28,947
- Woo! Welcome to the 1932 Emu USO show.
826
00:50:30,532 --> 00:50:32,408
Can I get a "Death to all humans"?
827
00:50:33,535 --> 00:50:36,079
- [Emus] Death to all humans.
828
00:50:37,956 --> 00:50:40,416
- Bloody hell. They really
hate us, don't they?
829
00:50:40,416 --> 00:50:42,418
What do we ever do to them?
830
00:50:42,418 --> 00:50:44,754
- Now it's time
831
00:50:44,754 --> 00:50:48,967
for something you're all gonna enjoy.
832
00:50:48,967 --> 00:50:51,928
The erotic emu, Miss December!
833
00:50:55,557 --> 00:50:56,432
(chuckles)
(crowd cheering)
834
00:50:56,432 --> 00:50:57,308
Miss June.
835
00:51:01,271 --> 00:51:06,484
And the erotic emu of
the year is (grunting)
836
00:51:06,484 --> 00:51:10,238
Miss (speaking gibberish).
837
00:51:11,614 --> 00:51:13,283
- Miss December is the sexiest.
838
00:51:13,283 --> 00:51:15,076
But Miss August is the hottest.
839
00:51:18,621 --> 00:51:19,497
(upbeat pop music)
840
00:51:19,497 --> 00:51:20,373
- Wow.
841
00:51:20,373 --> 00:51:23,084
Now, we got a real treat
for you guys tonight.
842
00:51:23,084 --> 00:51:26,879
The execution of a
human spy. Take it away.
843
00:51:26,879 --> 00:51:29,674
(emus cheering)
844
00:51:42,687 --> 00:51:45,273
(tense music)
845
00:51:55,825 --> 00:51:58,328
(gun firing)
846
00:52:08,463 --> 00:52:11,507
(mysterious music)
847
00:52:24,354 --> 00:52:27,398
(upbeat pop music)
848
00:52:34,197 --> 00:52:36,824
(stirring choral music)
- Come, Alan, my son.
849
00:52:36,824 --> 00:52:39,243
The kingdom of heaven awaits you.
850
00:52:40,411 --> 00:52:42,288
- This is my heaven.
851
00:52:42,288 --> 00:52:46,167
(upbeat pop music resuming)
852
00:52:47,752 --> 00:52:49,629
- Seeing something like that
853
00:52:49,629 --> 00:52:53,007
makes me wonder what the
point of any of this is.
854
00:52:53,007 --> 00:52:54,842
- You know, I had a
threesome with that guy
855
00:52:54,842 --> 00:52:56,469
and a priest yesterday.
856
00:52:56,469 --> 00:52:58,680
- Major!
- Private!
857
00:52:58,680 --> 00:52:59,889
- We thought you were dead.
858
00:52:59,889 --> 00:53:01,724
- Not so lucky, soldier.
859
00:53:01,724 --> 00:53:03,559
You two seem to have patched things up?
860
00:53:03,559 --> 00:53:05,895
- We're best friends.
861
00:53:05,895 --> 00:53:09,023
- I thought we were shaping
up to be best friends.
862
00:53:09,107 --> 00:53:11,067
- What we've got is deeper than that.
863
00:53:11,067 --> 00:53:12,485
We're, we're like family.
864
00:53:13,486 --> 00:53:16,864
It's like a loving
father-daughter type dynamic.
865
00:53:17,949 --> 00:53:19,075
- Yeah.
866
00:53:19,075 --> 00:53:21,202
Always wanted a relationship like that.
867
00:53:21,202 --> 00:53:22,578
- You're the loving father.
868
00:53:22,578 --> 00:53:23,454
- Yeah.
869
00:53:23,454 --> 00:53:24,914
- And I'm the daughter.
- Yeah. Yeah.
870
00:53:24,914 --> 00:53:26,207
It's a lot less yammering.
871
00:53:26,207 --> 00:53:28,501
- (chuckling) Yeah.
872
00:53:28,501 --> 00:53:30,878
- Yeah, women, they're
always mucking around
873
00:53:30,878 --> 00:53:32,463
and getting into mischief
874
00:53:32,463 --> 00:53:35,550
and you know, that sort of thing there.
875
00:53:44,058 --> 00:53:45,226
(crowd cheering)
876
00:53:45,226 --> 00:53:46,978
- Now it's time for one
of our very own emus
877
00:53:46,978 --> 00:53:49,021
to do standup comedy.
878
00:53:49,021 --> 00:53:52,233
(crowd cheering)
879
00:53:52,233 --> 00:53:53,109
All right, you're up.
880
00:53:53,109 --> 00:53:54,235
But don't do any of that fucking
881
00:53:54,235 --> 00:53:56,946
"Emu Boy's a little pussy" stuff, okay?
882
00:53:56,946 --> 00:53:59,282
- Yeah, I won't. I promise.
- Good.
883
00:54:02,660 --> 00:54:04,537
- Give it up for Emu Boy.
884
00:54:04,537 --> 00:54:08,458
What a little pussy.
(crowd laughing)
885
00:54:12,962 --> 00:54:14,839
He fucking sucks.
886
00:54:15,882 --> 00:54:17,633
- That's not even funny.
That's not even a joke.
887
00:54:17,633 --> 00:54:18,468
Let's not...
888
00:54:18,468 --> 00:54:22,138
- She's a star.
(crowd cheering)
889
00:54:25,683 --> 00:54:27,018
(stirring music)
- I'm proud of you, Gertrude.
890
00:54:30,354 --> 00:54:35,276
- After the show, have her
brought to my private chambers.
891
00:54:39,197 --> 00:54:40,531
- That was bad.
892
00:54:40,531 --> 00:54:43,951
I think we can all agree
that that was not funny.
893
00:54:43,951 --> 00:54:46,287
But now it's time for
something that is good.
894
00:54:47,455 --> 00:54:49,332
I'm gonna sing a song.
895
00:54:49,332 --> 00:54:50,166
Come on.
896
00:54:52,627 --> 00:54:54,670
(crowd booing)
897
00:54:54,670 --> 00:54:55,505
- Oh, no.
898
00:54:55,505 --> 00:54:58,674
He does this same song
every year. It sucks.
899
00:54:58,674 --> 00:55:01,135
It sucked the first year.
It's gonna suck this year.
900
00:55:01,135 --> 00:55:03,095
- If you're a cockatoo, then I am too.
901
00:55:03,095 --> 00:55:03,971
Everybody sing.
902
00:55:03,971 --> 00:55:04,972
There's a crocadoo.
903
00:55:04,972 --> 00:55:07,600
Gonna rub this belly
till it sings for you!
904
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:08,976
Cock-a-doodle, Aussie true blue.
905
00:55:08,976 --> 00:55:10,520
- Boo.
906
00:55:10,603 --> 00:55:12,438
You are not good.
907
00:55:12,438 --> 00:55:14,690
(crowd booing)
908
00:55:14,690 --> 00:55:17,401
(upbeat music)
909
00:55:25,952 --> 00:55:30,248
(upbeat music intensifying)
910
00:55:30,248 --> 00:55:33,751
- Oh my God, this song fucking sucks.
911
00:55:33,751 --> 00:55:34,877
And Emu Boy's Graham.
912
00:55:34,877 --> 00:55:37,755
- Cock-a-doodle, Aussie true blue!
913
00:55:42,927 --> 00:55:46,806
- Boo! You suck.
(crowd booing)
914
00:55:46,806 --> 00:55:50,101
- Ooh, that was the longest
piss in the history of warfare.
915
00:55:50,101 --> 00:55:52,353
What have I missed?
916
00:55:52,353 --> 00:55:54,021
- Major, I have to tell you something.
917
00:55:54,021 --> 00:55:56,858
- Yes, Private?
- Well, to tell you,
918
00:55:56,858 --> 00:55:58,901
I first have to tell you
something about myself.
919
00:55:58,901 --> 00:56:01,362
- No, I said no sharing
of personal information
920
00:56:01,362 --> 00:56:03,030
under any circumstance.
921
00:56:03,030 --> 00:56:03,906
- But...
922
00:56:06,617 --> 00:56:08,536
(scoffs)
923
00:56:08,536 --> 00:56:09,412
(dramatic music)
924
00:56:09,412 --> 00:56:10,288
It's me, Mary Sue.
925
00:56:13,291 --> 00:56:14,542
Mary Sue, your daughter?
926
00:56:15,751 --> 00:56:16,711
- Daughter?
927
00:56:19,005 --> 00:56:20,381
Tsk... daughter?
928
00:56:23,759 --> 00:56:26,178
(dramatic music)
929
00:56:26,178 --> 00:56:27,138
Daughter...
930
00:56:29,599 --> 00:56:31,100
- Did I earn your respect?
931
00:56:34,145 --> 00:56:37,690
(Major Meredith choking)
932
00:56:40,735 --> 00:56:41,652
Dad?
933
00:56:41,652 --> 00:56:43,279
- He's not okay.
934
00:56:43,279 --> 00:56:44,155
- Dad!
935
00:56:47,533 --> 00:56:50,286
(sensual music)
936
00:57:11,098 --> 00:57:13,809
- There you are, my dear. Leave us.
937
00:57:19,190 --> 00:57:21,609
Welcome, my dear.
938
00:57:21,609 --> 00:57:23,569
- Thank you, Your Highness.
939
00:57:23,569 --> 00:57:27,031
- Your comedy routine was excellent,
940
00:57:27,031 --> 00:57:31,452
and your emu impersonation
skills are even better.
941
00:57:32,995 --> 00:57:34,372
- What do you mean?
942
00:57:34,372 --> 00:57:39,043
- That outfit doesn't fool
me for a second, my dear.
943
00:57:39,043 --> 00:57:41,754
You can take off that ridiculous costume.
944
00:57:43,089 --> 00:57:45,716
(tense music)
945
00:57:50,012 --> 00:57:55,184
Don't look so scared. I know your plan.
946
00:57:55,184 --> 00:57:58,145
You came here to try and seduce me.
947
00:57:59,313 --> 00:58:01,774
Let's make a deal.
948
00:58:01,774 --> 00:58:05,486
If you can pleasure my royal cloaca,
949
00:58:07,321 --> 00:58:09,073
I'll let you live.
950
00:58:21,210 --> 00:58:24,755
(tense percussive music)
951
00:58:27,842 --> 00:58:30,428
Oh, crap. Yes!
952
00:58:31,554 --> 00:58:32,430
Oh, crap.
953
00:58:32,430 --> 00:58:34,056
Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
954
00:58:36,392 --> 00:58:37,643
(Emu Queen moaning in pleasure)
955
00:58:37,643 --> 00:58:39,311
Oh, crap. Oh, crap!
956
00:58:43,524 --> 00:58:47,319
(groans in pain)
(gas hissing)
957
00:58:47,319 --> 00:58:48,696
A cyanide tooth!
958
00:58:50,364 --> 00:58:52,283
You've killed us both!
959
00:59:00,750 --> 00:59:02,918
(groans)
960
00:59:15,556 --> 00:59:18,059
- Beautiful night for a swim.
961
00:59:32,031 --> 00:59:35,701
Harold, you really are the prime minister.
962
00:59:41,582 --> 00:59:44,418
(sinister music)
963
00:59:54,678 --> 00:59:57,348
(horn honking)
964
01:00:14,657 --> 01:00:15,950
- Mummy? Mummy!
965
01:00:18,953 --> 01:00:19,829
Mum.
966
01:00:21,497 --> 01:00:22,331
Mama, no.
967
01:00:29,088 --> 01:00:30,464
I'll get them, mama.
968
01:00:32,258 --> 01:00:37,471
Tomorrow, every human on
that battlefield will die.
969
01:00:41,475 --> 01:00:44,311
(dramatic music)
970
01:00:55,364 --> 01:00:57,783
(screaming)
971
01:01:02,246 --> 01:01:06,083
(dramatic music continuing)
972
01:01:13,007 --> 01:01:16,051
(melancholy music)
973
01:01:24,977 --> 01:01:25,936
- This is suicide.
974
01:01:27,771 --> 01:01:30,983
(dynamic rock music)
975
01:01:45,623 --> 01:01:49,084
(female fighter grunts)
976
01:01:52,254 --> 01:01:55,341
Viper and the Black Python
Secret Action Squad.
977
01:01:55,341 --> 01:01:57,468
- You didn't think we'd let you
start this party without us,
978
01:01:57,468 --> 01:02:00,429
did you?
- You son of a bitch.
979
01:02:00,429 --> 01:02:02,723
- It's good to see you, old friend.
980
01:02:02,723 --> 01:02:05,768
(intense rock music)
- Right.
981
01:02:05,768 --> 01:02:07,561
Soldiers, we may not have the weapons
982
01:02:07,561 --> 01:02:09,772
or the manpower to defeat these enemies,
983
01:02:09,772 --> 01:02:11,315
but you know what we do have?
984
01:02:13,025 --> 01:02:14,485
Aussie spirit.
985
01:02:16,654 --> 01:02:19,031
You tell me another country
986
01:02:19,031 --> 01:02:22,618
where mates can have a
beer and a laugh as mates.
987
01:02:23,619 --> 01:02:24,912
You can't, can you?
988
01:02:26,997 --> 01:02:28,249
- He's right about that.
989
01:02:29,208 --> 01:02:32,127
- But here's a question
you need to ask your mate.
990
01:02:33,295 --> 01:02:35,381
Are we gonna let these emus control us?
991
01:02:36,590 --> 01:02:39,635
Are we gonna let 'em steal our grain? No!
992
01:02:39,635 --> 01:02:43,555
We're gonna fight back. We're
gonna take our country back.
993
01:02:43,555 --> 01:02:45,766
And you know how we're gonna do it?
994
01:02:47,017 --> 01:02:48,769
With a bit of Aussie ripper spirit.
995
01:02:50,521 --> 01:02:52,773
- [Soldiers] Yeah!
996
01:02:52,773 --> 01:02:54,233
- Come on!
- Yeah!
997
01:02:58,946 --> 01:03:03,158
- Oh shit. Look.
- Yeah!
998
01:03:03,158 --> 01:03:07,288
- Humans, I have your prime minister.
999
01:03:07,288 --> 01:03:10,040
Surrender now or he dies.
1000
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:12,293
- Oh God. Surrender, please.
1001
01:03:12,293 --> 01:03:14,295
Surrender, please.
1002
01:03:14,295 --> 01:03:15,421
Please, guys, surrender.
1003
01:03:15,421 --> 01:03:19,091
He's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill me.
1004
01:03:19,091 --> 01:03:21,510
- Is there anything we can do to help him?
1005
01:03:21,510 --> 01:03:24,388
-Afraid not. We can't
negotiate with the enemy.
1006
01:03:24,388 --> 01:03:26,181
- Please surrender! Surrender!
1007
01:03:26,265 --> 01:03:27,975
I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die.
1008
01:03:27,975 --> 01:03:30,144
And I'm just a little boy.
1009
01:03:30,144 --> 01:03:32,354
I'm just a little boy. I'm a baby boy.
1010
01:03:33,230 --> 01:03:35,232
Please don't kill a baby boy.
1011
01:03:35,232 --> 01:03:37,860
You wanna kill a baby boy?
1012
01:03:37,860 --> 01:03:39,069
Don't kill a baby boy.
1013
01:03:39,069 --> 01:03:41,113
You'll be a baby boy killer.
1014
01:03:41,113 --> 01:03:43,073
Please don't. Don't.
1015
01:03:43,073 --> 01:03:44,241
No. Oh God!
1016
01:03:44,241 --> 01:03:45,909
I'm gonna piss. I'm pissing.
1017
01:03:45,909 --> 01:03:47,119
Oh God. I'm pissing.
1018
01:03:47,119 --> 01:03:49,872
I'm pissing, shitting and
cumming myself to death!
1019
01:03:50,748 --> 01:03:52,374
(farting loudly)
1020
01:03:52,374 --> 01:03:54,668
(screams)
1021
01:04:07,556 --> 01:04:09,641
(stirring music)
1022
01:04:09,641 --> 01:04:10,517
- For the Queen!
1023
01:04:12,561 --> 01:04:16,190
(emus squawking)
1024
01:04:16,190 --> 01:04:17,024
- Charge!
1025
01:04:17,024 --> 01:04:17,900
- [Soldiers] Charge!
1026
01:04:17,900 --> 01:04:23,113
(dramatic music)
(soldiers yelling)
1027
01:04:35,167 --> 01:04:37,044
- How do you like your emus, Tank?
1028
01:04:37,044 --> 01:04:38,212
Medium, rare...
1029
01:04:40,506 --> 01:04:43,884
(soldiers yelling)
1030
01:04:43,884 --> 01:04:45,094
Or well done?
1031
01:04:45,094 --> 01:04:48,305
(dynamic rock music)
1032
01:04:50,057 --> 01:04:52,976
(bombs exploding)
1033
01:04:55,562 --> 01:04:58,524
(emus screeching)
1034
01:05:04,905 --> 01:05:07,491
(guns firing)
1035
01:05:15,999 --> 01:05:18,085
- Use your Asperger's, bruv!
1036
01:05:18,085 --> 01:05:23,298
- Oh yeah. (humming)
1037
01:05:32,724 --> 01:05:35,477
I'm all outta juice. Use your culture.
1038
01:05:36,395 --> 01:05:40,566
(dynamic rock music continuing)
1039
01:05:43,652 --> 01:05:46,071
(emus screeching)
1040
01:05:46,071 --> 01:05:47,197
- Yeah. Whoa!
1041
01:05:48,282 --> 01:05:53,162
Yeah! Woo!
1042
01:05:53,162 --> 01:05:56,248
I love you, mate. Best friends forever.
1043
01:05:56,248 --> 01:05:57,332
- Love you too, bruv.
1044
01:05:59,042 --> 01:06:02,004
(heart crackling)
1045
01:06:06,467 --> 01:06:09,344
(emus exploding)
1046
01:06:12,556 --> 01:06:15,976
(intense rock music)
1047
01:06:15,976 --> 01:06:21,148
(scope beeping)
(gunshot firing)
1048
01:06:27,404 --> 01:06:28,280
(melancholy music)
1049
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:29,573
- You're a very lucky man, Major.
1050
01:06:29,573 --> 01:06:33,660
You suffered a near fatal case
of father-daughter betrayal,
1051
01:06:33,660 --> 01:06:36,997
causing you to have a heart
attack and cry tears of blood.
1052
01:06:39,082 --> 01:06:42,711
- I'm sorry, dad, I
didn't mean to lie to you.
1053
01:06:43,795 --> 01:06:45,797
- You've done enough. Leave me be.
1054
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:47,758
- Please.
1055
01:06:47,758 --> 01:06:50,511
I have something really
important I need to tell you.
1056
01:06:51,470 --> 01:06:53,764
It's actually about Graham.
1057
01:06:53,764 --> 01:06:56,350
- No more major surprises, Major.
1058
01:06:56,350 --> 01:06:59,102
Especially ones involving your children.
1059
01:06:59,102 --> 01:07:00,812
One more shock to the system
1060
01:07:00,812 --> 01:07:02,856
would almost certainly be fatal.
1061
01:07:05,567 --> 01:07:07,611
- Well, that's not gonna be an issue.
1062
01:07:07,611 --> 01:07:11,365
My son died as a boy and my
daughter's dead to me now.
1063
01:07:13,075 --> 01:07:14,117
- I wish you had room in your heart
1064
01:07:14,117 --> 01:07:16,453
for something other than
your hatred of emus.
1065
01:07:24,670 --> 01:07:25,963
(gunshot firing)
1066
01:07:25,963 --> 01:07:28,674
- How many emus is that
you've killed today, Viper?
1067
01:07:28,674 --> 01:07:30,217
-About 350, Major.
1068
01:07:30,217 --> 01:07:32,302
- About the same number
of Nazis you killed
1069
01:07:32,302 --> 01:07:34,054
that day we won Gallipoli, isn't it?
1070
01:07:34,054 --> 01:07:34,930
- Sure is.
1071
01:07:34,930 --> 01:07:38,559
And the same number of women
who gave me a blowy that night.
1072
01:07:38,559 --> 01:07:42,354
- (laughing) Mate, you crack me up.
1073
01:07:42,354 --> 01:07:43,855
You're my oldest and dearest friend
1074
01:07:43,855 --> 01:07:46,858
and the greatest war hero
Australia's ever known.
1075
01:07:46,942 --> 01:07:48,986
- Well, like I always say, Major...
1076
01:07:52,364 --> 01:07:55,200
(dramatic music)
1077
01:07:57,786 --> 01:08:01,832
- Major Meredith.
- Emu Boy.
1078
01:08:01,832 --> 01:08:04,418
(tense music)
1079
01:08:10,007 --> 01:08:12,634
(scope beeping)
1080
01:08:12,634 --> 01:08:15,095
- Oh my god. Dad and Emu Boy.
1081
01:08:16,763 --> 01:08:18,015
I've gotta do something.
1082
01:08:23,729 --> 01:08:24,605
(intense music)
1083
01:08:24,605 --> 01:08:25,480
- What is wrong with you?
1084
01:08:25,480 --> 01:08:28,108
You're a traitor to your species.
1085
01:08:28,108 --> 01:08:32,654
- Humans are scum. Emus
take care of their young.
1086
01:08:32,654 --> 01:08:35,741
Unlike humans that abandon their children.
1087
01:08:40,454 --> 01:08:42,039
- Abandon their children?
1088
01:08:42,039 --> 01:08:44,791
The emus stole my son when he was eight.
1089
01:08:44,791 --> 01:08:48,629
- My parents abandoned
me when I was eight.
1090
01:08:48,629 --> 01:08:51,506
And the emus took care of me.
1091
01:08:55,886 --> 01:08:56,762
- Graham?
1092
01:09:01,975 --> 01:09:03,352
- Daddle-doodle?
1093
01:09:05,062 --> 01:09:10,275
Oh.
1094
01:09:11,401 --> 01:09:15,155
(Major yells in a distorted voice)
1095
01:09:15,155 --> 01:09:16,865
(gun firing)
1096
01:09:16,865 --> 01:09:19,409
(rifle firing)
1097
01:09:19,409 --> 01:09:22,788
(intense choral music)
1098
01:09:31,797 --> 01:09:35,384
(Major Meredith sobbing)
1099
01:09:44,601 --> 01:09:45,852
- Eh, bet you didn't think
1100
01:09:45,852 --> 01:09:49,856
the Australian army could
afford a helicopter.
1101
01:10:00,575 --> 01:10:02,828
(shrieks)
1102
01:10:04,496 --> 01:10:07,874
(helicopter exploding)
1103
01:10:15,006 --> 01:10:18,802
(soldiers groaning in pain)
1104
01:10:23,515 --> 01:10:26,226
(sombre music)
1105
01:10:34,401 --> 01:10:38,238
(Archie and Jackie yelling)
1106
01:10:44,411 --> 01:10:48,331
- If you're a cockatoo, then I am too.
1107
01:10:48,331 --> 01:10:51,293
Everybody sing Aussie croc-a-doo.
1108
01:10:51,293 --> 01:10:54,671
We're gonna rock this billy
till it sings for you.
1109
01:10:55,589 --> 01:10:58,341
Rock-a-doodle, Aussie true blue.
1110
01:11:01,720 --> 01:11:04,681
(emotional music)
1111
01:11:36,087 --> 01:11:40,008
(emotional music continuing)
1112
01:12:15,794 --> 01:12:19,631
(solemn ending theme music)
1113
01:14:01,983 --> 01:14:05,111
(upbeat rock music)
1114
01:14:45,902 --> 01:14:47,529
♪ Two big boys ♪
1115
01:14:47,529 --> 01:14:49,614
♪ We're the best of friends ♪
1116
01:14:49,614 --> 01:14:51,825
♪ With two big boys ♪
1117
01:14:51,825 --> 01:14:53,910
♪ Our friendship never ends ♪
1118
01:14:53,910 --> 01:14:55,662
♪ We're two big boys ♪
1119
01:14:55,662 --> 01:14:58,707
♪ And the best of friends ♪
1120
01:14:58,707 --> 01:14:59,874
♪ Two big boys ♪
1121
01:14:59,874 --> 01:15:03,336
♪ Our friendship never ends ♪
1122
01:15:03,336 --> 01:15:06,548
♪ Yeah, two big boys ♪
73504
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