All language subtitles for The Flintstones S03E09 Baby Barney 1080p HMAX WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-PHOENiX_track3_[eng]

[theme song]

squawk

Yabba dabba doo-o-o!

♪ Flintstones meet the Flintstones ♪

♪ They're the modern Stone Age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock ♪

♪ They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Let's ride with the family down the street ♪

♪ Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪

♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪

(male #1) 'Boy! Boy!'

Uh, yes, Mr. Marblehead.

Here's a telegram for a Fred Flintstone

on Cobblestone Lane.

'Right, sir.'

[instrumental music]

ding dong

I'll get it, Fred. Don't bother getting up.

[mumbles]

Just a minute, please.

Achoo!

squawk

Boy, what a dusty floor.

Telegram for Mr. Flintstone.

A telegram? Oh, no.

Fred, Fred, a telegram has come for you.

What should I do, Fred? What should I do?

Relax, Wilma. I'll get it.

- Just take it easy. - Hurry, Fred. Hurry.

Oh, dear, I just know it's bad news.

- Mr. Flintstone? - 'Yeah.'

A telegram for you, sir.

- 'Thanks.' - You're welcome.

(Fred) 'Here's an apple for you, sonny.'

An apple?

With tips like that, I'll never get to college.

Don't read it, Fred. Telegrams are bad news.

What? Why, that is the silliest thing I ever heard of.

Where did you ever get that idea?

'Mama always said--'

Mama always said.. Mama always said..

Oh, that's a hot one.

Now, if you and your mother don't mind

I'll read my telegram.

Oh, no.

I knew it. I knew it. Like mama always said.

My rich uncle, Tex Hardrock is comin' to visit us.

Oh, dear, I knew it would be bad news.

Hey, wait a minute. That's good news.

No, it isn't. It's bad news.

Here, read it.

"Dear favorite nephew

"arriving tomorrow to visit you and your wife.

"I'm anxious to meet my namesake, Little Tex.

Signed, Big Tex."

Who's Little Tex, Fred?

That's the bad news. There is no Little Tex.

What are you talking about?

Well, to, um, get on the good side of my rich uncle

I, um, I told him we...named our baby after him.

- But we have no baby. - 'I know that.'

But we gotta get one before Uncle Tex arrives tomorrow.

'Oh, come now, Fred. The very soonest we could--'

I'm talkin' about a loan, a rental baby.

Wilma, if there's no Little Tex here

when Big Tex arrives, I am disinherited.

See? Mama was right.

I called my sister, Wilma, and she said no.

She wouldn't loan Fred her baby.

I didn't think she would, but I promised Fred I'd ask.

Uh-oh. My hairdo is slipping.

creak creak

twang

Ah, well, Barney wouldn't have liked it anyway.

Uh, have you any idea where he and Fred are?

Search me, all I know is that they're out

trying to find a solution to Fred's problem.

Uh, good afternoon, gentlemen. Can I help you?

Eh, I'm interested in looking at a lifelike baby doll.

Yeah, a boy doll.

He's gotta talk, walk and go to sleep.

Oh, I got just the doll for you.

He walks, talks, and goes to sleep.

Watch.

Mama, daddy. Mama, daddy.

Mama, daddy, mama.

Eh, what do you think, Barney?

Well, I think he wants his mom and daddy.

I mean, will it fool Uncle Tex?

(Barney) 'Well, uh, how's uncle's eyesight?'

- Good. - Then it won't fool him.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Hey, there is one that's perfect.

Yeah.

Hey, it sure looks real, doesn't it?

How about that? It's even warm.

[wailing]

- My baby! - That cry is perfect.

Find out how much they want for this one, Barney.

The nerve of some people. I ought to call the police.

Oh, oh, sorry, lady. I-I thought it was a doll.

Hey, come on, Fred, before we get in trouble.

It looks like you're sunk, Fred. A doll will never work.

No, but that baby gave me a better idea.

- It did? - Yup.

And there's the place I was lookin' for.

(Barney) 'Oh, you're kiddin'. The Foundling Home?'

Uh-huh, let's go in

and let me do the talkin'.

So you want to adopt a baby boy.

That's very commendable, Mr. Flintstone.

Oh, he-he. Thank you.

(female #1) 'Of course, we'll need character references.'

Oh, oh, Fred's a real character.

Everybody in the neighborhood says so.

Shut up, Barney. Shut up.

You'll find a baby will bring a lifetime

of happiness to you, Mr. Flintstone.

Oh, I don't want one that long. Eh, just a day or so.

- A day or so? - Yeah.

Then, then I'll bring him back.

Charlie, Orville, 86!

Eighty six? That's a troublemaker, isn't it?

Yeah. Let's get rid of him.

(Fred) 'Uh, hey, what's the idea?'

(Barney) Hey, hey, just a minute, fellas.

crash

I'd like to see you try that again, wise guy.

- Uh, Fred. - I ought to sue you.

- Fred. - That's what I'll do.

- Hey, Fred! - I'll sue you.

- Fred! - What's the matter, Barney?

Get off my back.

Well, it's no use, Barney.

I give up. I'll just have to tell Uncle Tex the truth.

There is no Little Tex.

Gee, that's too bad, Fred.

I wish there was something I could do.

What did you say, Barney?

I said I wish there was something I could do.

That's what I thought. Come on, pal.

There is something you can do.

What in the.. Hey, put me down, Fred.

P-put me down!

Mm-hmm, not a bad way to catch a man.

I-I-I'll have to try that.

(Fred) Yeah, this'll work fine, mister.

I'll return it in a few days. So long.

Yes, sir, this is gonna work just fine.

Hey, Fred, this is ridiculous.

You said you wished you could help me, didn't you?

Oh, yeah, but not this much. Well, I'm gettin' out of here.

- Oh, no, you don't. - Oh, yes, I am.

Kick me, will you? Get back in the carriage.

crash

(Barney) 'Ouch. W-wait, not the headlock.'

No, no. Oh, put me down. Put me down.

Now get back in the carriage.

boing boing

And stay in there!

Oh, what kind of a father are you

to treat a poor baby like that?

Eh? Oh, no. He he!

I-i-it ain't like it looks, lady.

Umm, I'm-I'm-I'm not his father.

Oh, not his father!

Why, of all the nerve.

- Take that. And that! - Oh.

And that and this, you monster.

Ouch! Hey, those rock purses are murder.

'Ouch! Ooh, wait! Take it easy.'

'Take it easy!'

tsk tsk tsk

You'd think for the kid's sake

they'd try to get along.

Oh, ooh, whew.

I, I think we lost her, Barney.

And I'm gonna lose you.

Boy, that old gal can sure run.

Whoo, what a terrifying experience.

- 'Hey, Fred!' - Quiet.

She might still be around.

Fred, help! Help! I can't stop.

Do somethin', Fred, quick!

Barney, come back here.

What do you think you're doin'?

H-e-e-elp!

For crying out loud, Barney, cut it out.

What are you tryin' to do? Spoil everything for me?

(Barney) Stop the carriage, Fred! Stop the carriage!

Oh, no. He's goin' on the freeway.

Hold on, Barney. I'm comin'.

[honking]

(Barney) Come on, Fred. Think of somethin'.

This could be dangerous.

(Fred) Slow down, Barney! Slow down!

(Barney) Oh, boy. You and your great ideas.

(Fred) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

[honking]

screech

Now where did he go?

Hey, Barney, where are you?

Yeow!

crash

Gee, Fred, you shouldn't have stopped me.

I was starting to enjoy the ride.

Barney, that is the camel

that broke my straw back.

Now, get off of me, and get out of here.

- But, Fred-- - 'Don't but Fred me.'

'You and I are through as friends.'

'We are now enemies.'

Yes, we are, and I feel better already.

Goodbye, enemy.

Goodbye, Fred. I mean, enemy.

No hard feelings, huh?

And, uh, oh, uh, say hello to your Uncle Tex for me, will you?

Oh, my gosh. Uncle Tex.

Hey, Barney. Wait a minute, old pal.

Look, Barney, I'm beggin' you.

- Say you'll do it. - No.

Please, pal.

Uh-uh, I feel silly in these three-corner shorts.

Oh, boy.

And I always thought of you as my pal

my buddy, my bosom friend.

But now when you have a chance to prove it

you turn your back on me.

Oh, stop it, Fred. You're breaking my heart.

You mean you'll do it? You'll be Little Tex?

Well, on one condition.

When you get your inheritance

well, will you pay me the ten bucks you owe me?

It's a promise, Barney.

Put her there, son.

[laughing]

Hi, Wilma. Can you take five?

'Hmm, that would be a pleasure.'

That husband of mine's been gone all afternoon

and left all the yard work for me.

Do you think he talked anyone into loaning him a baby?

- Are you kidding? - 'Hi, Wilma.'

- Fred. - Sorry to be gone so long.

But old Freddy boy did it again.

- Our troubles are over. - What are you talking about?

- Where'd you get that carriage? - And where's Barney?

Girls, I want you to meet the latest addition to our family

Little Tex Flintstone.

Goo goo.

crash

Come on, Wilma. Open your eyes, sweetheart.

See, it's me, Fred.

Ah, oh, Fred.

Oh, oh, yeah. Fred.

Hey, Betty, wake up.

Wake up. L-look, it's me.

Aah!

Uh-oh. B-Betty's out again, Fred.

Aah! There's that thing again.

Barney, will you shut up and go in the house

so I can get them on their feet?

I am not being unreasonable, Wilma

but no wife wants her husband to go around looking like that.

I admit Barney looks ridiculous but it's only for a few days.

Just while Uncle Tex is here.

Gee, Betty, Fred will be disinherited

if Uncle Tex don't find a Little Tex

and I'll never get my ten bucks back.

Well, alright.

If you wanna help Fred, it's okay with me.

Yabba dabba doo!

Thanks, Betty. You're a real pal.

tring

(Wilma) 'I'll get it.'

Hello.

(Tex on phone) 'Y-i-i-p-eeee!'

- 'Is this Wilma?' - Yes, and who's this?

I'm Fred's uncle, Big Tex

and I'm just a hoot and a holler down the road from you.

And I'm sure anxious to meet up with you and Little Tex.

'See you in a few minutes, Wilma baby.'

'Waaa-hooo!'

- Who was it, Wilma? - It's your Uncle Tex.

And he'll be here in a few minutes.

- Uncle Tex? - In a few minutes?

'Quick, Barney, into the carriage.'

And don't forget to talk baby talk.

Oh, I-I don't know if I wanna go through with this, Fred.

Well, you can't back out now.

vroom

- W-w-what's that? - That must be Uncle Tex.

screech

Yahoo-o-o!

He's here, Fred. It's your Uncle Tex.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

[knocking]

Ehh, come in.

crash

- Wahoo! Freddy boy. - Hello, Uncle Tex.

You're a sight for sore eyes, Freddy.

Put her there, favorite nephew.

crunch

No, no, no. Please, Uncle Tex.

No, no Indian wrestling!

- Say uncle. - Uncle! Uncle!

[Tex laughs]

I hate that kind of man.

And now, Uncle Tex, I'd like you to meet

my wife, Wilma and our dear friend, Mrs. Betty Rubble.

Charmed, ladies.

You are both the very epitome

of feminine pulchritude.

I was wrong. I like that kind of man.

[giggles]

And now, Freddy, I wants to see

my little, old namesake, Little Tex.

Keep your fingers crossed, Betty.

Little Tex. You sure you wanna look at him?

Of course, I'm sure. Open it up.

Okay, Big Tex, meet Little Tex.

[drumroll]

Goo goo.

Little Tex?

[babbling]

Oh, boy.

Yaahoo!

Now, there's a real baby.

A big one like everything else is back in Texas.

Whew.

Coochi coochi coochi coo coo coo!

[laughing]

Coochi coochi coo to you too, wise guy!

Hey, where did everybody go?

Who turned out the lights?

Mm-mm.

We'll have it off in a jiffy, Uncle Tex.

Don't worry.

Have you flipped your bonnet, Barney?

Uncle Tex could get mad at us.

Well, how would you like to be coochi-coochi-cooed?

Okay, okay, but, Barney, please go along with it.

It means a lot to all of us.

Okay, but it isn't easy.

Come on, Wilma, one good pull.

Okay.

One, two, three.

crash

- That did it. - It sure did.

Here comes Uncle Tex. Now, be nice.

One coochi, just one coochi and I'm turnin' in my suit.

[laughing]

He's all boy, Fred.

He don't stand for any of that sissy coochi-coo stuff.

Come on, Little Tex.

Let's see you meander over to Big Uncle Tex.

Go on, go on. Meander.

[Barney babbling]

Come here, boy. That's it.

What the..

I hates to do this, Little Tex

but you gotta learn to keep those

big paws off'n people's hats.

[babbling]

Barney, I-I mean, Little Tex.

No, no, no.

No, bad baby. Bad baby.

Shame on you, Little Tex.

Mustn't spank rich Uncle Big Tex.

[wailing]

[giggling]

Fred, you've hurt Little Tex's feelings.

Give him a hug.

A hug. Oh, yeah.

[whimpering]

One more trick like that, Barney, and I'll--

Muah. Daddy.

Yuck!

I'll take the baby for a while, Fred.

(Fred) 'Thanks, Betty.'

He sure likes his daddy, doesn't he?

Now, look, mister.

This means a lot to Fred and Wilma

so stop antagonizing Uncle Tex.

- Well, he spanked me first. - And you pulled his hat down.

Now get back inside and be a nice baby.

Boy, am I sorry I let Fred talk me into this.

- But I'll try my best. - Ah, that's a good sport.

It's only until Uncle Tex leaves.

Dinner is served. Come and get it, everybody.

(Fred) 'Oh, boy, roast dodo bird.'

There ain't anybody in Bedrock who can fix

a better roast dodo bird than Wilma.

You can say that again.. Mm.

Ixnay, Barney, ixnay.

You're supposed to be a baby, remember?

Babies don't eat roast dodo birds.

Here's a nice bowl of cactus mush for Little Tex.

- Huh? - Finish it all up, dear.

'And it will make you grow big and strong like your daddy.'

[babbling]

Want dodo bird.

Well, you can't have any dodo bird

so eat your mush.

[Barney crying]

Tsk tsk tsk.

You shouldn't tolerate disobedience

from a child, Fred.

Make him eat his mush.

Yeah, yeah. You're right.

Come on, baby. Eat the nice mush.

Uh-uh.

Come on, Barney, eat the mush.

Uncle Tex is watchin'.

Watch daddy eat the mush.

Daddy loves cactus mush.

Yum, yum, yum.

Oh, that's delicious.

(Barney) 'Phooey.'

[laughing]

Funny daddy.

[laughing]

'Daddy like mush. Ha ha ha.'

gulp

Yuck! Oh, boy.

Excuse me a minute, folks.

I'll take the baby outside again.

Barney, this is the last time I'm going to tell you.

- Stop making trouble for Fred. - But I don't like mush.

You're spoiling Fred's chances of inheriting Uncle Tex's money

and you promised you'd help him.

I didn't promise to eat mush.

Well, never mind the mush.

Go play with Uncle Tex instead

and start acting like a baby.

Now, hold on, Little Tex.

I'm gonna show you how to bust a wild horse.

[mimicking horse neighing]

Yeehoo! Wapee!

Yip, yip, yippee!

Yahoo!

crash

The only one that's gonna be busted is me.

Yip, yip, yip, yippee!

'Keep runnin', partner.'

'Don't let me lasso you.'

Help, Fred. Help!

thud

(Tex) 'Wahoo!'

'Yip, yip, yip, yippee!'

'Attaboy, Little Tex.'

Well, we put it over, Wilma.

Uncle Tex and Little Tex are hittin' it off real well.

Thank goodness.

Wanna go for a little ride, Tex?

- Uh-uh. - Okay, here we go.

Upsy-daisy.

Gotcha. Up we go again.

Oh, boy, what I don't do for that Fred.

Heave-ho.

thud

splat

That does it.

Friends or no friends, I can't take any more of this.

Hey, Little Tex. Come back here.

Well, I'll be a horned-toad platypus.

He's goin' into the garage next door.

vroom

Whoa, Little Tex.

Whoa!

vroom

That sounds like Uncle Tex's car.

- It is Uncle Tex. - He's leaving.

There goes our inheritance.

Uncle Tex, come back!

Let's talk it over!

Quick, Fred, get our car and let's go after him.

Uh-oh. Uncle Tex is right behind me.

I gotta lose that western wild man.

I just can't take any more of this baby stuff.

Come back here, Little Tex!

Come back here, Big Tex!

- Look. He's chasing Barney. - Barney?

Good grief. What happened?

Yike!

vroom

For a kid that can't talk

he sure can drive a car.

I don't get it. What's Barney tryin' to do?

Get me disinherited?

Stop them before they crack up, Fred.

tring

Police Department, sergeant speaking.

Three cars speeding?

Yeah?

The first car is being driven by a what?

A baby?

vroom vroom vroom

vroom

[siren wailing]

I never heard of adults carryin' on like that.

You're all guilty of reckless driving

except that innocent baby over there

with the police nurse.

[babbling]

Oh, he's such a sweet, little fella.

So affectionate.

Does little baby wanna give nursie another kiss?

[Barney babbling]

[Barney whistles]

Alright, break it up.

'That baby happens to be my husband.'

Well, I've heard of robbin' the cradle

but this is ridiculous.

I'm sorry, Uncle Tex.

I thought it would make you happy

if there was a Little Tex.

But I never figured you'd visit us.

Well, a Little Tex

would have cinched your inheritance, Freddy boy

but I'm not holding it against you.

After all, you were just tryin' to please me.

[all] Hooray for Uncle Tex!

[whistling]

So long, folks. I'll be back next year.

- Goodbye, Uncle Tex. - And thanks for forgivin' me.

vroom

Well, there he goes and I'm still in his good graces.

He sure wants a Little Tex though.

[sighs] It's been a trying day, dear.

'Now, go relax while I fix some dinner.'

Okay, honey.

[sighs]

Yeow! What the..

'A fine place for Wilma's knitting needles.'

A baby bootie.

Oh, that Wilma. How close mouth can she get?

'Wilma!'

screech

Why didn't you tell me?

Fred, where are you going with that bootie?

I'm knitting it for Betty's sister's baby.

Hey, Uncle Tex! Look, it's blue!

It's gonna be a boy!

We'll call him Little Tex.

Honest, we will.

Come back, Uncle Tex. Come back!

[laughing]

[theme song]

♪ Flintstones meet the Flintstones ♪

♪ They're the modern Stone Age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock ♪

♪ They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Someday maybe Fred will win the fight ♪

♪ Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪

♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪

Wilma!