Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,000
There she is, a genuine Stoneway.
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Boy, that's just what I wanted.
3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,000
I'll take it. I'll take it. C-can you deliver it tonight?
4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,000
- You're joshing me, bud. - 'No, I'm not.'
5
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,000
It's gotta be there when she wakes up in the morning.
6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,000
Sorry, bud.
7
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,000
I can't move a piano by myself.
8
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,000
How's about your, uh, muscular little friend there
9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,000
giving you a hand?
10
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,000
Come here, my muscular little friend.
11
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000
It's no use, Fred.
12
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000
The piano is too fat for the door.
13
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000
What do you mean, too fat?
14
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,000
Well, stand back while I throw a little weight on it.
15
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,000
Oh, but, Fred, you're-you're a lot of weight.
16
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000
bang
17
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,000
[rumbling]
18
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,000
Uh-oh.
19
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,000
- Fred. - Yes, honey?
20
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:55,000
I must be dreaming. A piano just went by.
21
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,000
[theme music]
22
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000
honk honk
23
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000
honk honk
24
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000
[whistle blows]
25
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,000
[siren wailing]
26
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000
[whistle blows]
27
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,000
[tires screeching]
28
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,000
[tires screeching]
29
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,000
vroom
30
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,000
crash
31
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,000
slam
32
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,000
slam
33
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,000
Mwah!
34
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,000
♪ Happy anniversary ♪
35
00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,000
♪ Happy anniversary ♪
36
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,000
♪ Happy anniversary ♪
37
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,000
♪ Hap.. ♪
38
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,000
Hm. Nothing here.
39
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,000
[grunting]
40
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,000
Wilma!
41
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,000
- Yes, Fred? - 'Breakfast ready?'
42
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,000
Almost. I'll call you.
43
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000
♪ Happy anniversary ♪
44
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,000
♪ Happy anni.. ♪♪
45
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,000
Nothing here.
46
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,000
And nothing here, either.
47
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,000
I'll have to jiggle this boy's memory.
48
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,000
After all, your tenth anniversary
49
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,000
comes only once in ten years
50
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,000
and I don't intend to let it go by without a struggle.
51
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000
thud
52
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,000
Your juice is ready, Fred.
53
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,000
Be right with you, honey.
54
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,000
- 'Fred?' - Yeah?
55
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:56,000
'I'll, uh, bet you don't know what day tomorrow is.'
56
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,000
Sure I do, tomorrow is Thursday
57
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,000
'followed by Friday as usual.'
58
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,000
And to elaborate further on the subject
59
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,000
today is Wednesday preceded by Tuesday as usual.
60
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,000
And where is my breakfast as usual?
61
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:14,000
♪ Here comes the toast here comes the toast ♪
62
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,000
(Fred) 'Well, what do you know, heart-shaped toast.'
63
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,000
Now, does, uh, that remind you of anything?
64
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,000
You mean, tomorrow is Saint Valentine's Day?
65
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,000
You're not even warm.
66
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,000
Does this thing on my head mean anything to you?
67
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,000
(Fred) 'Don't tell me, you either got a headache'
68
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,000
'or it's your dusting day.'
69
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000
Well, I tried.
70
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,000
So long, honey, I'm late for work.
71
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000
And take care of your headache.
72
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,000
I've been taking care of him for years.
73
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,000
Wilma, I remember!
74
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:49,000
How could I forget such an important day?
75
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,000
- You remember? - 'Sure!'
76
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,000
'Tomorrow is the day they collect the trash!'
77
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000
[telephone ringing]
78
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,000
- 'Hello?' - 'Hi, Wilma.'
79
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000
- Oh, hi, Betty. - 'Did you win?'
80
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,000
No, no, I'm glad I didn't bet on it.
81
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,000
I hit him with everything but rice and old shoes
82
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,000
and he still didn't remember tomorrow is our anniversary.
83
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,000
Well, try the bridal veil routine.
84
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,000
- That never misses. - 'Wanna bet?'
85
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,000
Oh, it did? What now?
86
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,000
Now what am I gonna do? Simple.
87
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,000
Since I'm dressed for it, I might as well do some dusting.
88
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,000
Bye.
89
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,000
[laughs]
90
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,000
Barney-boy, I was superb!
91
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,000
I got to hand it to you, Fred.
92
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,000
'Wilma hit me with everything'
93
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,000
'except rice and old shoes'
94
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,000
trying to make me remember our anniversary.
95
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,000
But I acted dumb.
96
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,000
[laughing] How could she tell the difference?
97
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,000
Ha-ha-ha..
98
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,000
How would you like to be called
99
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,000
fat-lipped Barney?
100
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,000
Oh, uh, just kidding, Freddie.
101
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,000
Hey, what I wanna know is how come you remembered
102
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,000
your anniversary this year.
103
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:55,000
Easy, I never forget Trash Day
104
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000
and this year our wedding anniversary
105
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,000
falls on Trash Day.
106
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,000
You always were lucky.
107
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,000
So, uh, what are you gonna get her?
108
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,000
'Well, you know how it goes every year.'
109
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,000
Yeah, Wilma gets you a tie.
110
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,000
Right. And I always forget.
111
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,000
- Right? - 'Right.'
112
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,000
Then I run out quick and buy some flowers.
113
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,000
And Wilma doesn't speak to me for two weeks.
114
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000
Right. Happens every year.
115
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,000
Well, this year I'm getting her something
116
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,000
she's wanted for ten years.
117
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,000
Yup, I am going all out.
118
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,000
What is it, Fred? I'm all a-goggles.
119
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,000
Keep your shirt on, Barney-boy. Here we are.
120
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000
[tires screeching]
121
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000
Hey, what are you getting her in here, Fred?
122
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,000
What do you think? Go ahead, take a little guess.
123
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,000
[laughs] Oh, I don't have to guess.
124
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,000
You're getting her this new album
125
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,000
"Music To Calm A Volcano By."
126
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,000
No. Guess again.
127
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:49,000
Now, don't tell me, Fred. Um, an xylophone?
128
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,000
[clinking]
129
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,000
I can't stand amateurs.
130
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,000
How thoughtful of you, Fred.
131
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,000
No, Barney, not an xylophone.
132
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000
Well, uh, what's left, Fred?
133
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,000
You remember that 50 in prize money I got
134
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,000
for winning The Lodge bowling tournament?
135
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,000
- Yeah, yeah. - 'Well..'
136
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,000
'I'm blowing the whole roll.'
137
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,000
- Oh, no. No, Fred, no. - Yeah.
138
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,000
When Wilma opens her eyes tomorrow morning
139
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,000
the first thing she is gonna see is this!
140
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,000
- 'A piano?' - Fingers, fingers, fingers.
141
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,000
Now, let's not wrinkle the piano.
142
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,000
Well, if it isn't Mr. Flintstone
143
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,000
the anniversary boy.
144
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,000
Uh, don't forget now, tomorrow is Trash Day.
145
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:41,000
Uh, never mind that. I've decided to buy a piano.
146
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,000
Uh, good. Shall I wrap it up or will you play it here?
147
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,000
Not so fast. How do I know this piano is any good?
148
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000
(male #1) 'Would you like to try an arpeggio?'
149
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,000
No, I have my heart set on a piano.
150
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,000
[piano music]
151
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,000
Uh, that sounds like a good one to me.
152
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,000
Yeah, one out of 88. What does that prove?
153
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,000
Uh, stop picking on the little fella.
154
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000
- Go ahead and play, shorty. - Oh, thanks.
155
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,000
Uh, I-I'm a little rusty, though.
156
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,000
[knuckles cracking]
157
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000
[squealing]
158
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,000
[creaking]
159
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,000
Barney, if you're gonna play, play.
160
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,000
He has to limber up, doesn't he?
161
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,000
[piano music]
162
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:25,000
Now let's see, uh, how does that tune go?
163
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,000
[piano music]
164
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000
Oh, good! I know that one.
165
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,000
[piano music]
166
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,000
- Thank you. - Not at all, carry on.
167
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,000
[piano music]
168
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,000
Uh, do you mind if I cut in?
169
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,000
Be my guest.
170
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,000
[piano music]
171
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000
Oh, boy.
172
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,000
[music continues]
173
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,000
- Nice touch. - Uh, thank you.
174
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000
Alright, alright, I'm convinced.
175
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,000
Be quiet, we're coming to the finale.
176
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:28,000
[piano music]
177
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,000
Say, did you study with Professor Pesecare?
178
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,000
Five years.
179
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,000
[piano music]
180
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000
I knew it. I knew it!
181
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,000
I recognized your pianissimo.
182
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,000
Oh, thank you.
183
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,000
[piano music]
184
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,000
(male #1) 'Clever.'
185
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,000
[piano music]
186
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,000
[music continues]
187
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,000
[shouting] Alright, knock it off!
188
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,000
You, what are you, a music hater?
189
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,000
No, I'm a piano purchaser.
190
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,000
I remember you, the anniversary boy.
191
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,000
Uh, do you see anything you like?
192
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000
Yeah, the one you've been playing on.
193
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:45,000
Yeah, you have good taste. It's a genuine Stoneway.
194
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,000
Uh, when can you deliver?
195
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000
It's your piano. When do you want it?
196
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000
Tonight, after my wife is asleep.
197
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,000
Oh, aren't we sneaky!
198
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,000
And when do we expect to pay for it?
199
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,000
- 'Right now.' - Good, that'll be 1500.
200
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,000
Fif-fif-fif-fif..
201
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,000
Fif-fifteen hundred?
202
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,000
[chuckles] He's only got 50.
203
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,000
We have a nice piano stool in that price range.
204
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,000
Yeah, hey, hey, that's a good start, Fred.
205
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000
Then you could buy her the piano next year.
206
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,000
Are you kidding? The anniversary is tomorrow!
207
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,000
Now what will I do?
208
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000
Uh, why don't you forget it
209
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,000
like you do every year?
210
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:25,000
Cheer up, Fred. You can buy a lot of flowers with that 50.
211
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,000
How about one of them big flower horseshoes
212
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,000
'with good luck written on it, huh?'
213
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:33,000
No. I wanted something special.
214
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,000
(male #2) 'Hey, psst.'
215
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000
'Hey, bud, bud.'
216
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,000
Huh? Did you call me?
217
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,000
Yeah. Come here a minute.
218
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000
You wanna talk to me about something?
219
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000
Yeah.
220
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,000
You look like a pretty hot piano player to me.
221
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,000
[laughing] Well, I play a little "Chopsticks."
222
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,000
That's what I thought.
223
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,000
Well, how would you like to pick up a pretty hot piano?
224
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000
Sure. Where's your store?
225
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
- 'I don't have no store.' - Well, where's the piano?
226
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,000
Around the corner, in a truck.
227
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,000
I don't need a store.
228
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,000
No big overhead, no smart-aleck salesmen.
229
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,000
Yeah.
230
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,000
'I even park the truck'
231
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,000
'in the low-rent district'
232
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,000
and pass the savings on to you.
233
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,000
Hey, that makes sense, Fred.
234
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,000
(Fred) 'Yeah, let's see the piano.'
235
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,000
Sure. Follow me, bud.
236
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:30,000
There she is, a genuine Stoneway.
237
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000
Boy, that's just what I wanted.
238
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,000
- How much? - Um..
239
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,000
How much were you thinking of spending, bud?
240
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:41,000
I don't think I can afford it. All I got is 50 clams.
241
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,000
By a strange coincidence
242
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,000
that's exactly what I'm asking for this box.
243
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000
You mean I can have it for 50?
244
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Did you hear that, Barn?
245
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,000
Hold it. Hold it.
246
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000
Do you get a guarantee with it?
247
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000
Certainly.
248
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,000
I guarantee it's a piano.
249
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,000
And when 88 Fingers Louie
250
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000
makes that guarantee
251
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,000
'he stands by it.'
252
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,000
That's good enough for me.
253
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,000
I'll take it. I'll take it.
254
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000
C-can you deliver it tonight?
255
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000
- You're joshing me, bud. - 'No, I'm not.'
256
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000
It's gotta be there when she wakes up in the morning.
257
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,000
Sorry, no dice, bud.
258
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,000
With me, it's strictly cash-and-carry.
259
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,000
Give me the cash and you carry.
260
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,000
I can't move a piano by myself.
261
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:27,000
How's about your, uh, muscular little friend there
262
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000
giving you a hand?
263
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,000
Yeah. Yeah. How about it, Barney?
264
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000
Oh, no, no, not me, Fred. I-I'm not a piano mover.
265
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000
(Barney) 'Uh, besides, I am too little and puny.'
266
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
- Barney! - 'A-and besides..'
267
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,000
Come here, my muscular little friend.
268
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,000
Oh, and-and besides, I've been sick, Fred. Honest.
269
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,000
What kind of a friend are you that won't help a neighbor
270
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,000
with his wife's anniversary present?
271
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,000
Oh, gee, I'm-I'm sorry, Fred.
272
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,000
I'm-I'm ashamed of myself.
273
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000
(Fred) 'You should be.'
274
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,000
'Now hold steady while I back'
275
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,000
the car in under it.
276
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,000
Attaboy. Easy now.
277
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,000
Let it down slow.
278
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,000
thud
279
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,000
Good. Hang on, Barney.
280
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000
(Barney) 'Uh, right, Fred.'
281
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,000
'Uh, just remember'
282
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000
watch those bumps.
283
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,000
I'll watch the bumps, you watch the piano.
284
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000
Why don't you just come out and ask him
285
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,000
"What did you get me for our anniversary?"
286
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,000
- You know we can't do that. - 'Why not?'
287
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,000
Because we're women, that's why.
288
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000
Besides, you know the code.
289
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000
Make them think it's their own idea.
290
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000
Yeah, and then if they forget
291
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:42,000
we make them feel miserable for the rest of the year. Heh-heh.
292
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,000
'Well, he might still remember, and that will surprise you.'
293
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:49,000
And, listen, call me if he comes home with anything.
294
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,000
I won't be able to. I'll be in a state of shock.
295
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,000
There goes Betty, heading back towards my house.
296
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,000
Good. Now come on, don't let her see you.
297
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,000
Okay, now
298
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,000
let's take it from the top.
299
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000
First we hide the piano back at the garage
300
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,000
so Wilma can't see it.
301
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000
- Right. - 'Second.'
302
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,000
I go into the house and play dumb.
303
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,000
- And no cracks. - Right.
304
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000
Third, after she's asleep
305
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,000
you sneak the piano into the house.
306
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,000
- 'Right?' - Wrong.
307
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,000
You got me doing a solo, and I see it as more of a duet.
308
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,000
Alright, alright, I'll help you carry it in.
309
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:35,000
Now, remember, we meet here at midnight.
310
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,000
Oh! Aren't we sneaky!
311
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,000
Oh, boy.
312
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000
[feet tapping]
313
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Wilma, I'm home!
314
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000
Fred!
315
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,000
- What's that for? - Oh, nothing.
316
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,000
I just wanted to see if you brought anything home with you.
317
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000
I did, honey.
318
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,000
(Wilma) 'You did? What?'
319
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000
An appetite like an elephant.
320
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,000
Too bad you don't have a memory like one.
321
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000
[laughs]
322
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,000
It's after midnight and no Fred.
323
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,000
Hm, he must have overslept.
324
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,000
[Fred snoring]
325
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000
Psst, hey, Fred.
326
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,000
[snoring]
327
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,000
(Barney) Fred. Hey, Fred.
328
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,000
Hm, I'll flip a pebble in there.
329
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000
He-he'll thank me for waking him up.
330
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,000
[snoring]
331
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,000
gulp
332
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000
[water splashing]
333
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,000
- Huh? - 'Hey, Fred.'
334
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:43,000
Fred. Boy, what a sound sleeper.
335
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000
I'll try something bigger.
336
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000
Hey, Fred!
337
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000
Shh!
338
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,000
bang
339
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000
I'm sorry about that rock, Fred.
340
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,000
Stop talking and start pushing.
341
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,000
I'm pushing, Fred.
342
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000
[groans]
343
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000
Uh-oh, I'm, uh
344
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
sorry again, Fred.
345
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,000
So help me if you bust that piano.
346
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000
'It's okay, Fred, listen.'
347
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000
[piano music]
348
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000
You pinhead!
349
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,000
[muffled screaming]
350
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000
screech
351
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,000
[screaming] Ee-ya-woo!
352
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000
[panting]
353
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000
Thanks, Fred.
354
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000
Oh, that was a close one.
355
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,000
I promise, Fred, I'll be careful.
356
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,000
[grunts] And I won't make a sound.
357
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:38,000
Good, and I promise I'll never make the mistake
358
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000
of asking you for help again.
359
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
But it's heavy, Fred.
360
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000
'Whoever heard of a light piano.'
361
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,000
'Just don't drop it.'
362
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000
thud
363
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,000
[muffled screaming]
364
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,000
- What happened? - Ooh-ooh..
365
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,000
Oh, no.
366
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,000
Don't worry, Fred, I know what to do.
367
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,000
[screaming] Ee-ya-woo!
368
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000
Let's get on with it, Fred.
369
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,000
[engine revving]
370
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:11,000
(Barney) 'Ee-ya-woo!'
371
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,000
I gotta stop eating in those cheap restaurants.
372
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000
She all set, Barney?
373
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,000
She's all set, Fred.
374
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,000
- Now keep it quiet. - 'Right, Fred.'
375
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,000
Heave.
376
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000
Heave.
377
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,000
- Heave! - Quiet!
378
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,000
Uh, hm, hm..
379
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
Fred, is that you?
380
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,000
Uh-oh.
381
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,000
thud
382
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,000
Fred, what was that crash?
383
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000
Oh, i-i-it's nothing, honey.
384
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,000
You, uh, were just having a loud nightmare.
385
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,000
[chuckles]
386
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,000
Oh. Goodnight.
387
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,000
Goodnight, darling.
388
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,000
Hey, Barney.
389
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,000
- Yeah, Fred? - 'Quit your stalling.'
390
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,000
We're taking it in through the front door.
391
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,000
Right. I didn't mean to lay down on the job, Fred.
392
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,000
It's no use, Fred. The piano is too fat for the door.
393
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000
- What do you mean, too fat? - 'It won't go through.'
394
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000
- 'It's stuck.' - Stuck, eh?
395
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,000
Well, stand back while I throw a little weight on it.
396
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,000
But-but, Fred, you're-you're a lot of weight.
397
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,000
bam
398
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,000
[rumbling]
399
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000
Uh-oh.
400
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000
- Fred? - Yes, honey?
401
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,000
I-I must be dreaming. A piano just went by.
402
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000
(Fred) 'A piano?'
403
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000
[laughs]
404
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000
Why, it's merely a manifestation
405
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,000
of your subconscious clashing with your conscious.
406
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000
Which, in turn, is a logical outgrowth
407
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000
from the possible childhood musical frustrations
408
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,000
uh, coupled with the cucumbers you had for dinner.
409
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Goodnight, Fred.
410
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,000
Goodnight, darling.
411
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,000
screech
412
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,000
What happened to you?
413
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,000
I just got run over by a piano.
414
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000
- Which way did it go? - It went thataway.
415
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,000
Oh, no!
416
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,000
[rumbling]
417
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000
screech
418
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
Hold it! Hold it!
419
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,000
[intense music]
420
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,000
[bell rings]
421
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000
How do you stop this thing?
422
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,000
[siren wailing]
423
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,000
Uh-oh.
424
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000
Alright, pull over.
425
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000
This time you slipped, 88 Fingers Louie.
426
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,000
- But I'm not 88-- - Quiet! Don't interrupt.
427
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,000
Sooner or later, a criminal always makes a mistake.
428
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:49,000
Imagine, driving a hot piano through a red light.
429
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,000
- But I wasn't driving a hot-- - 'With no tail lights.'
430
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,000
No head lights and no license.
431
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,000
You will get at least 20 years for this.
432
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000
Have you got any last words?
433
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,000
All I wanted to do
434
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,000
was surprise my wife
435
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000
on our wedding anniversary.
436
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000
A likely story.
437
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,000
Wedding anniversary? Jumping dinosaurs!
438
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,000
Today is my own wedding anniversary.
439
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000
- Officer. - Yes, sir?
440
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,000
'Show 88 Fingers that the department has a heart.'
441
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,000
- But I'm not 88-- - 'Quiet!'
442
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,000
Give this criminal a hand with his anniversary gift
443
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:27,000
while I run out and get one for my own little bride.
444
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000
How could I forget it
445
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,000
'especially when it comes on Trash Day?'
446
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,000
[instrumental music]
447
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,000
(Barney) Hey, Fred.
448
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000
Fred, where you've been? W-where's the piano?
449
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,000
Shh! Hold it down.
450
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,000
- Is Wilma still sleeping? - As far as I know.
451
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
Okay, boys, the coast is clear.
452
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,000
And keep it quiet, will you, fellas?
453
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,000
Yeah, right, keep it quiet..
454
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,000
♪ Oh happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
455
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,000
♪ Happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
456
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,000
♪ Pour a cheerful toast and fill it happy anniversary ♪
457
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,000
♪ But be careful you don't spill it happy anniversary ♪
458
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:18,000
♪ Oh happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
459
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,000
♪ Happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
460
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
Fred, you remembered!
461
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,000
How could I ever forget the happiest day of my life?
462
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:31,000
♪ Oh happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
463
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,000
♪ Happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
464
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,000
Well, thanks, fellas, it sure was--
465
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,000
♪ She and happy he they're both as happy as can be ♪
466
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,000
♪ Celebrating merrily their happy anniversary ♪
467
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000
And I didn't forget you, darling.
468
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000
Happy anniversary.
469
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,000
A tie!
470
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,000
With spots on it already.
471
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,000
Just what I always needed.
472
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000
[chuckles] Oh, Fred.
473
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,000
♪ Oh happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
474
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,000
♪ Happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
475
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,000
Alright, fellas, I appreciate it. Thanks.
476
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:10,000
♪ Oh happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
477
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,000
♪ Happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
478
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,000
♪ We now state emphatically it's happy anniversary ♪
479
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:20,000
♪ Not another day could be a happy anniversary ♪
480
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:24,000
♪ Oh happy anniversary happy anniversary ♪
481
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,000
♪ Happy anniversary ♪
482
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,000
♪ Happy happy ♪
483
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,000
♪ Happy happy happy happy ♪
484
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:35,000
♪ Happy happy happy happy anniversary ♪
485
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000
Alright, knock it off!
486
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,000
Fred
487
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,000
this is the most wonderful
488
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,000
anniversary I ever had.
489
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000
You mean up to now.
490
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,000
- Congratulations, ma'am. - Thank you.
491
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,000
- Let's go, Louie. - Louie? That's not his name.
492
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,000
Mm-hmm. Yeah, we know. They call him 88 Fingers, too.
493
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,000
But I tell you, I am not 88 Fingers.
494
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:03,000
What's all this 88 Fingers? That's my husband.
495
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000
- '88 Thumbs, maybe.' - Yeah.
496
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,000
- But 88 Fingers, never! - 'Yeah.'
497
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,000
Mm-hmm. Tell it to the sergeant.
498
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,000
Okay, boys, take the piano out.
499
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,000
- 'We'll need it as evidence.' - My piano.
500
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Fred, why are they taking my anniversary present?
501
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,000
It's a long story, Wilma.
502
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,000
Barney will explain the whole thing to you.
503
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000
- 'Right, pal?' - Right, pal.
504
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,000
(Fred) 'So long, Barney.'
505
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,000
So long, 88 Fingers.
506
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
Uh, Louie, uh, Fred.
507
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
I tell you, you're making a mistake, officer.
508
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,000
The guy you're looking for is fat, dumpy
509
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,000
'and kind of stupid-looking.'
510
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Uh, uh, a-a-and he's shorter.
511
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,000
He-he is, h-he is, h-he's shorter than I am.
512
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,000
Mm-hmm? Come on, 88.
513
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000
When are you gonna learn crime don't pay?
514
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,000
(man on radio) 'Calling the wagon!'
515
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,000
'Calling the wagon!'
516
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,000
'Come in, Car 11.'
517
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,000
'Come in, Car 11!'
518
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,000
- Car 11. Over. - 'Arrest bulletin.'
519
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,000
(man on radio) '88 Fingers Louie has just been apprehended.'
520
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,000
See, I told you.
521
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,000
'88 has admitted the theft'
522
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,000
'of a hot piano.'
523
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,000
See, I told you!
524
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,000
'Says he sold it to a fat'
525
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,000
'dumpy, stupid-looking guy.'
526
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,000
Yeah, yeah, that's me! That's me! Ha-ha!
527
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,000
You see, I'm innocent, just like I told you.
528
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,000
Mm-hmm. Okay, I guess you're clean.
529
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,000
Just remember, if you play with a hot piano
530
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,000
you'll get your fingers burned.
531
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000
Yeah. Ha-ha, ha-ha..
532
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,000
All 88 of them, huh?
533
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,000
[laughing] That's a joke. Get it?
534
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,000
Yeah.
535
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000
- Hey, Fred. - 'Hello, Barney.'
536
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000
I explained everything to Wilma.
537
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
You did? What did she say, Barney?
538
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,000
- What did she say? - What did she say?
539
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,000
'Yeah, what did she say?'
540
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,000
- Nothing. - Oh, boy.
541
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,000
She stopped talking to me already.
542
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000
Hey, uh, what are you gonna do now?
543
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,000
The same thing I do every year.
544
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:57,000
After it's too late, I run out and buy some flowers.
545
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,000
But next year you know what I'm gonna do?
546
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,000
- 'What, Fred?' - The same thing.
547
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,000
Hey, officer, wait!
548
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,000
Yeah, what's up?
549
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,000
Do me a favor, will you?
550
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000
Like what, Mac?
551
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,000
Drop me off at the flower shop.
552
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,000
[instrumental music]
553
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000
[theme music]
554
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,000
[yawning]
555
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,000
[music continues]
556
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000
[clinking]
557
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,000
slam
558
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000
thud
559
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,000
Wilma!
560
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,000
[banging on door]
561
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,000
Wilma!
562
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,000
Come on, Wilma, open this door!
563
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,000
Wilma!
564
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,000
[instrumental music]
38725
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese