Original subtitles

'then Fossil second by two lengths, Volcano third.'

'But wait a minute. Wait a minute.'

'Sabertooth is starting to move up on the outside.'

- He said "Sabertooth," Barney. - I know. I know.

Ya-ha-ha-ha-hoo! Come on, Sabertooth!

(male commentator) 'Heading for the far turn, it's Granite Boy in front'

'Fossil is second, Sabertooth is third, Slagheap fourth'

'Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit.'

'Coming into the stretch, Sabertooth takes the lead'

'with Fossil second, then Granite Boy, Slagheap'

'Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit.'

[theme music]

[whistling]

screech

[siren wailing]

[whistling]

screech

screech

screech

crash

[thud]

[music continues]

Watch this, Barney-boy.

'Seven ball, the easy way.'

- 'Sorry, Barney.' - Great shot, Fred.

Nothin'. Nothin', Barney. Watch this one.

(Barney) Looks like you're in trouble with the eight ball.

Are you kiddin'?

All you need is the right tool for any job.

'Here's the one I was lookin' for.'

'Eight ball, the impossible way.'

Watch this, Barney. The trick shot to end all trick shots.

Fred, we are gonna enter you in the Olympics.

And why not?

Hey, Dan, how about some cue chalk?

(Dan) 'Comin'. Comin'.'

Here you are. Use it in good health.

I won't be bringin' it to you much longer.

- Why not, Dan? - I'm sellin' the place.

- You're kiddin'. - No kiddin'.

I'm retiring to that little chicken ranch.

Buck-buck-buck! Get it?

[chuckles] I'm only asking $2,000 for it

lock, stock, and barrel.

Eh..

Funny thing you should mention this, right, Barney?

Mention what, Fred?

My friend and I have been looking for a deal like this

eh, haven't we, Barney?

- Who? - Us, that's who.

Ah, one thing though, fellas.

'The deal has got to be strictly cash.'

Cash?

[phone ringing]

Excuse me, fellas. Got to get the phone.

Hey, ah, what's the idea of kickin' me, Fred?

Don't you get it? This place is a gold mine.

If we could buy it, we could get rich and be our own bosses.

Yeah, and another thing..

We could play every day for nothin'.

Well, you can forget it.

We could never raise that kind of money. Two grand.

Yeah. Hey, you know

I had two grand in my hand this afternoon.

- 'Two grand?' - Yup.

I was makin' a bet for the boss with a guy named Herman.

Your tightwad boss bettin' on races?

Yup. Sabertooth in the fifth, at 40-to-1.

40-to-1? He must think it's a sure thing.

(Barney) 'Oh, look, if old tightwad bets on it, it is.'

Did I tell you he locks the paper clips

in the safe every night?

[both laughing]

(Fred) 'Wait a minute. Just a minute.'

- Barney, we own a business. - Like, ah, how?

We go to the track tomorrow, bet $50 at 40-to-1

and what do we get?

[giggling] We get to play pool for nothin'.

Oh, boy.

- 'One little thing, Fred.' - Yeah?

- Have you got the $50? - No, have you?

- Uh-uh. - Ah, well.

We were sure livin' there for a couple of minutes.

Wish I had the nerve to use my pay.

Why not?

[mumbling] Because Wilma would kill me, that's why not.

- Well, tell her you lost it. - I tried that once.

Oh, no. Wilma's too smart.

Ooh. Look, suppose somebody held you up?

Suppose they did.

Hey.

Wilma couldn't blame me for that.

What an idea!

How do I think of 'em?

You're a genius, Fred. That's how.

A sheer genius.

- Uh-oh. - What's wrong?

Wilma will still kill me if she finds out.

So you'll die rich.

After all, it's for Wilma's sake.

That's right. I'm doin' it for her.

I'll be able to give the little woman

all the things she deserves.

Alright, Barney. Now get this straight.

You're goin' in first, and you break the news to Wilma.

Yeah.

[giggling] I'll lay it on good and thick.

(Fred) 'Yeah, yeah. And then when you get her wailin' and cryin''

'I'll stagger in.'

She'll be so glad to see me

she won't even think about the money.

Okay, pal. But just give me enough time.

screech screech screech

- Uh-oh. I almost forgot. - Forgot what, Fred?

(Fred) 'Here, you better hold my pay envelope.'

But what for?

Well, if Wilma finds it on me

our hold-up story's in the ash can, that's what for. Get goin'.

[whirring]

- Wilma, W-W-Wilma! Wilma! - Fred's not home, Barney.

Wilma, I-I-I only hope he, he makes it home.

What are you talking about?

I, I-I don't know how to break this to you, Wilma

but terrible thing happened.

Fred was on his way home, and..

'And two guys jump him in the alley.'

'They gave him a terrible beatin'.'

He tried to defend himself

but they over-powered him, and took his whole week's pay.

Now, Wilma, now, take it easy. Don't get hysterical.

I don't believe one word of it.

- But, Wilma.. - 'Not one word.'

But-but, but Wilma, wait-wait till you see him.

A little dirt on the face.

Rip the fur a little.

[chuckles]

That ought to do it.

I tell you, I don't believe it.

(Fred) 'Aah-oh!'

Ah! Ooh! Ooo!

Ouch! Uch! Eee! Uuu! Oh!

[crying]

[sighing]

screech

Easy, pal. Now, now, try to hold on, Fred.

You, you know we all love you.

I know. Especially Wilma.

'Take it easy, honey. I'm gonna be alright.'

Don't be hysterical. Stop cryin'.

Just be glad I'm alive.

What did you do with the money?

The money? What kind of a wife are you?

[mumbling] Three, three tough guys jumped me and..

- Barney said there were two. - 'Two?'

Ah, well, one of 'em was a midget.

Ah, B-Barney couldn't see him.

[phone ringing]

It's the phone.

You two midget brains better think of something better

before I get back.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

How about a woman like that?

Oh-oh! She's tough to convince, that's all I can say.

I'd have to be half-dead before she'd even half-believe me.

We gotta do somethin', Fred, and fast.

'Oh, I hate to do this, Fred.'

[thud]

Testing.

[snapping fingers] One, two, three, four.

Testing.

[chuckling]

He's out like a light.

- Wilma! Wilma! - 'Now what?'

- 'Fred just keeled over.' - From what? Overacting?

No, from this bump.

'Oh! Oh, my poor husband.'

[bump thumping]

[sighing]

He's comin' to.

Fred, will you ever forgive me for doubting you?

[Fred sighing]

(Fred) 'No!'

Watch him, Barney, while I get some cold water and a towel.

Say somethin', Fred. Say somethin'

You knucklehead.

Are you trying to kill me?

Well, I had to think of somethin' quick.

What else could I do?

Well, I'm thinkin' of something quick now.

Can you guess what I'm gonna do?

(Wilma) 'Fred?'

[sighing]

Now, Fred, I just called the doctor

and you're not to stir till he gets here.

I'd like to stir Barney, with a bat, that is.

Hmm.

Hmm-hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm-hmm.

Hey, Doc, what's all that?

Hm, hm, hm. Hm?

Search me. I saw a doctor do it on a TV show once.

Quiet, please, while I test the reflexes.

Hmm, just what I thought.

Concussion of the concussmit complications.

- Complications? - Ja.

Bumpus of the nogginus.

"Bumpus of the nogginus"? What's that?

- 'Search me. I..' - I know, I know.

You saw it on a TV show.

Now, one week in bed, feed him liquids

soft foods, rest and quiet, and all that jazz.

I'll take good care of him, doctor.

Good. Then I got to hurry now.

What is it, Doctor? An emergency?

What emergency? I got to go home and watch TV.

[laughing]

Hey, Fred. Fred?

- How's it goin'? - 'Terrible.'

She won't let me out of here. She watches me like a hawk.

Well, tell her you got to go to work.

I did, so she called the boss.

She told him I'd be out for a week.

Oh, the last bus leaves for the track in an hour.

'I'll go down and bet the money, huh?'

You? What do you know about bettin' at the track?

Well, "I saw it on a TV show once."

Now, cut that out.

If anybody goes, we go together.

Oh, no, you don't. You're not going anyplace.

I'm going to the market to get some brontosaurus soup bones

and don't you dare move while I'm gone.

I guess it's goodbye to Boulder Dan's place.

(Fred) 'Yeah, we're dead.'

(Barney) 'Gee, I sure hate to give up.'

- Hey, it's a cinch. - What's a cinch?

Well, you know the fellow you bet the boss's $2,000 with?

- What's his name? - Oh, you mean, ah, Herman.

Hey, that's it, Fred. Where's the phone?

Hello, Herman? $50 on Sabertooth in the fifth.

- Right on the nose. - 'Yeah, right on the nose.'

'You got it, Herman? Herman? Herman?'

'Herman, you got it?'

I regret, due to circumstances beyond my control

I cannot conduct business any further at this time.

But-but-but, Herman, listen. Herman, you gotta. But-but-but..

Well? Well?

Herman's out of business.

- So we're out of business. - Oh, no, we're not.

We just got time to catch the last bus for the track. Come on.

- What'll you tell Wilma? - Ah..

I-I'll think of somethin' later.

Hold that bus!

Hold it!

screech screech

[both panting]

J-just made it.

Oh, boy, if we missed it, we'd have had to walk.

(male presenter) 'Entries for the fifth race now entering the paddock.'

Here they come.

Sabertooth is number five.

Oh, there's nothin' more beautiful

than a thoroughbred dinosaur.

(Barney) If you ask me, they're breeding them a little too fine.

There he is. Number five. It's Sabertooth.

(Barney) Hey, smart-lookin' jockey, too.

[chittering]

[yawning]

Hey, what's the matter with him?

Don't worry, that's the way

I like to see a dinosaur I'm bettin' on.

He's savin' his strength. Come on, let's go. We got to bet.

That's right, $50 on Sabertooth to win.

(Barney) 'Hee! Let me see the ticket, Fred.'

That ain't just a ticket, friend.

That's our declaration of independence.

Right. I can see it up there in lights..

"Fred and Barney, Money Unlimited."

Oh, it's not the money, Barney.

It's what I'm gonna tell old Gravelpuss

that I'm lookin' forward to.

Yeah, your boss, huh?

(Fred) 'You mean, he's gonna be my ex-boss.'

I'm gonna walk into his office..

Yeah, Fred. Yeah.

I'm gonna take one of his cigars and light it..

Yeah, Fred.

I'm gonna grab hold of his nose and say..

Flinstone!

[mumbling] B-b-boss.

Flintstone, I thought you were sick.

Oh, I-I-I am, I-I-I...

B-b-bumpus of the nogginus. L-l-look.

What are you doing here at the track?

A-ssk him, he's the one that drive.. Uh, carryin'.

Well, make it a good story.

We came down here to put $50 on Sabertooth's nose

so we could make enough to buy Boulder Dan's billiard parlor

and retire..

- Bigmouth. - Retire?

Don't pay any attention to him, boss. He's out of his mind.

He doesn't know what he's sayin'. He..

He.. He..

Hey, what am I sayin'?

I'm goin' into business for myself.

Put me down, Barney.

crash

Flintstone, I ought to fire you.

Look, I'm scared. I'm scared.

Next year I might buy your cheap establishment and fire you.

Then I won't have to listen to your barkin'

and whinin' anymore.

Now that you're out of a job, I'm worried about one thing.

'Suppose Sabertooth doesn't win.'

Listen, if we're gonna be partners

you got to start thinkin' positive, right now.

Like, Sabertooth will win.

Sabertooth will win. Sabertooth..

Excuse me, sir. Comin' through, sir.

'One thousand on number seven. That's Gravelpit, son.'

(male #1) 'Yes, sir, colonel. Here you are, colonel.'

- Did you hear that? - I sure did.

(Fred) 'He bet $1,000 on Gravelpit.'

That's right, son. $1,000 on Gravelpit. I can't lose.

- Say, want a real tip, son? - Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sure.

Don't bet on the races! That's a joke, son.

[laughing]

- Say, who was that? - 'Him? He owns the Sabertooth.'

But he just bet on Gravelpit.

(male #1) So who's bettin' on Sabertooth?

We are.

- And we wanna change our bet. - 'Too late, fellows.'

(male commentator) 'They're off and running. Fossil goes to the front.'

'Granite Boy second, Slagheap a close third.'

'Volcano and Earthquake head and head fourth.'

'Gravelpit is fifth and Sabertooth.'

'Into the clubhouse turn.'

'Fossil still in front by a length. Granite Boy second'

'Volcano moving up to third. Slagheap a close fourth.'

'Then comes Earthquake, Gravelpit, and Sabertooth.'

(together) Oh, boy.

(male commentator) 'Going into the backstretch.'

'Granite Boy challenges Fossil and takes the lead.'

Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Come on, Gravelpit!

(together) Come on, Sabertooth.

Sabertooth? Did you say "Sabertooth," son?

I told you all, don't bet on the races.

[laughing]

'Come on, Gravelpit.'

Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

(male commentator) 'It's Granite Boy still in the lead'

'then Fossil, second by two lengths, Volcano third.'

'But wait a minute. Wait a minute.'

'Sabertooth is starting to move up on the outside.'

- He said "Sabertooth," Barney. - I know. I know.

Ya-ha-ha-ha-hoo! Come on, Sabertooth!

(male commentator) 'Heading for the far turn, it's Granite Boy in front'

'Fossil is second, Sabertooth is third, Slagheap fourth'

'Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit.'

'Coming into the stretch, Sabertooth takes the lead'

'with Fossil second, then Granite Boy, Slagheap'

'Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit.'

'At the eighth pole. It's Sabertooth by a leg.'

'Fossil is second, then Granite Boy third'

'Slagheap, Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit.'

'They're coming to the finish line'

'with Sabertooth still in front.'

'Here they come. Watch it closely.'

'And the winner, the winner is..'

'The winner, Gravelpit!'

Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Did he say "Gravelpit"?

(colonel) 'That's what he said, son. Gravelpit.'

Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[crying]

Oh, gee, if there's one thing I can't stand..

[sniffling] ...it's to see a grown man cry.

[both crying]

(male commentator) 'Attention, please. It's a photo finish.'

'A photo finish. The official result in just a moment.'

- Cross your fingers, Barney. - I am. I am.

- 'And your toes, too.' - I am. I am.

(Barney) 'I'm crossing them.'

(male commentator) 'And here comes the photo.'

'The photo is in the judge's hands.'

'The judge is studying the photo.'

'And we'll have the official decision in just a moment.'

'Just a moment now.'

(male commentator) 'And here it is, folks..'

'The winner, the winner is Sabertooth!'

Yabba-dabba-doo!

[exclaiming]

Like you said, sir..

"Don't bet on the races."

[laughing]

♪ Oh we're a couple of jolly good fellows ♪

♪ A couple of jolly good fellows ♪

♪ A couple of jolly good.. ♪♪

Hey, hey, Fred. Fred.

- Fred. Hey, Fred. - Yeah, yeah, what, Barney?

(Barney) 'Have you figured out what you're gonna tell Wilma?'

Why, I'm gonna tell her the truth

that her husband is gonna be a big business tycoon.

Well, you better let me hold the money.

What for?

(Barney) 'Just in case she don't like the idea.'

Hey, you got somethin' there. You know how wives are.

If she heard about this money

she'd make me do somethin' dumb with it.

Yeah, like put it in the bank, like.

Yeah. Yeah, like put it in the bank.

[laughing] Yeah.

But I'm not trustin' you with all this dough.

We're gonna stash it someplace safe.

Hey, how about stashin' it under that rock over there?

[grunting] Th-this is heavy.

And all the better to keep the money under.

(Fred) 'Look, see if anyone's around.

Okay, Fred.

Nobody in sight. Let's go.

Get this rock off my hand

so I can tear you apart.

- How did you get it caught? - I didn't get it caught.

I put it under here to keep it warm.

- Get it off, you imbecile! - I'm gettin' it off.

I'm gettin' it off. I'm gettin' it off, Fred.

Look, I'm gettin' it, I'm gettin' it!

screech screech

As I thought, the holdup story was a fake.

Now, what did you do with the money?

- You want to know? - 'Yes, I want to know.'

We went out to the track

and we bet the whole thing on a long shot.

You what?

You mean to tell me

that you took the money for our food and rent..

That you.. You.. You..

- 'We won.' - You won?

Yup. $2,000, right on the nose.

(Wilma) 'Darling, we're rich!'

Ah, Now, now. Wait a minute.

- We got plans for it. - Plans?

(Fred) 'Ah, we are investing in a business.'

- What business? - Boulder Dan's place.

Fred, that's wonderful!

- Huh?! - 'That place is a gold mine.'

I met Dan's wife today. She has a new fur coat.

He's retiring and they're moving South. And where's the money?

[chuckling] Now relax, honey.

I'll have the money in your hands

in a couple of shakes. Hm?

- Well, Wilma's got to admit it. - What's that, Fred?

She's married to a pretty sharp businessman

with lots of brains, know-how, and savvy.

Betty feels the same way about me. And throw in "good-lookin'."

Okay, good-lookin'.

Grab a hold of the rock. And this time, be careful.

- 'Alright, now. Heave.' - 'I-I'm-I'm heavin'.'

(Barney) 'I'm heavin', Fred. I'm heavin'.'

Easy, that's it. Steady, Barney. Steady.

There it is.

[Fred chuckles]

I got it, Barney. I got it!

You mean you had it, buster.

Hey, what is this?

It's a stick-up, "hey." That's what it is.

Hand it over, "hey."

- Over my dead body. - 'That's okay with me.'

thud crash

[man groans]

Hold him, Fred.

[Fred grunts]

screech

We got him surrounded.

screech

Once again will do it.

crash

(Barney) 'Wilma! Wilma!'

Barney, where is Fred?

I don't know how to break this to you.

A terrible thing just happened.

When we went to get the money, a guy jumped on us.

A-A big guy.

Fred fought like a tiger, but the guy was too tough.

And he took the money.

Now don't get hysterical, Wilma. He'll be alright.

[Fred groaning]

[groaning]

Let me help you, pal.

Take it easy, Wilma.

I'm gonna be alright.

Don't get hysterical. Stop cryin'.

'Just be glad I'm alive.'

- I don't believe a word of it. - 'But, Wilma..'

'Not one single, solitary word.'

[crying] No!

[theme music]

[yawning]

[door opens]

clink clink

[door opens]

Wilma!

(Fred) Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open this door!

Wilma!