All language subtitles for Only Murders In The Building - S04E04 - The Stunt Man.en

♪

Stunt people always fall.

But the trick is you get up

and make sure you
don't become dust.

Sazz...

The shooter, very good.

A single .300 win mag casing
was found in the west tower

in apartment 14f, belonging to a
tenant by the name of m. Dudenoff,

retired professor, who the
neighbors are conveniently saying

he's not in town.
He's in Portugal.

Neighbors are busy playing card
games when they hear the gunshot.

- What, I achieved?
- Yes!

I think that earns you
a trip to the bathroom.

- Is that a person?
- Don't be ridiculous. It's a ham.

No, no, no, no. This
movie has to happen.

It's the only way I can
keep up with my sexy,

- successful girlfriend.
- Hi!

Loretta, will you...

Will what? Would I what?

- You don't believe dudenoff's in Portugal?
- I'm not convinced.

Well, he's not gonna
be happy you're here.

I'm counting on it. If he
finds out I'm squatting here,

he'll have to show
his face to kick me out.

Did one of them kill sazz?

We're gonna find out.

I kept a very detailed
ham radio journal.

A person came on the line
and said, "meet me at 445."

- Who is dudenoff?
- The last person

who came around asking
these questions got killed.

A movie set is filled
with egomaniacs.

- But a good stunt double...
- Sazz!

...must set the ego aside
and just be a maniac.

Hey, wait up!

Sazz?

Risking life and limb to
make their actor look good.

Where are we going?!

Paradise...

For the stunt double,
their actor is number one.

For the actor? Well,

it's not always so clear.

Alright, I've been up
since 3:00 working.

Well, not working
the whole time.

I spent two hours looking
for an all-night staples,

but then, I built this.

♪ Ta-da ♪

A second murder board.

You dragged me
outta bed for this?

Most working adults
are up by 8:00 A.M.

Yes, but, like, farmers.

Look, if we're gonna take
sazz seriously as a target,

she deserves her own board.

The voice on the radio
says that sazz was killed

because she was asking
questions about the west tower,

and sazz was a
ham radio hobbyist.

Hm. I like it. Could be a
good hook for the podcast.

This season, we're not
just searching for the killer.

We're searching
for the victim, too.

Oliver, do you
wanna record that?

Just gimme 10 minutes.

What's "paradise"?

Uh... nothing. It's just... It's
just something someone told me.

Who?

Sazz.

When?

Last night. In my dream.

Ask him if he can draw a clock.

If he can't draw a
clock, it's Alzheimer's.

Look, forget about this.
This is not important.

The point is, if sazz was the target,
we need to fill in the blanks of her life.

Now, obviously, she
and I were very close.

We shared everything.

Two girlfriends,
a signature look,

and a blood type so rare, it's
in the red cross hall of fame,

but she never told me

why she was asking
questions about the west tower.

Well, I've hit a dead end there.

The voice on the
radio has gone silent,

and the westies have
been freezing me out

since I started squatting.

What is Vince doing in his
underwear with that animal leg?

If they're not a cult, they're
definitely cult-adjacent.

Oh. That's a Portuguese flag.
Or as the Portuguese call it,

bandeira das quinas.

I'd recognize that
bi-colored rectangle

with the green on the hoist
and the red on the fly anywhere.

Oliver, you wanna
come see the...

Oliver, why are you so sleepy?

I don't know. Usually,
your riveting flag facts

are like a shot of adrenaline.

I barely slept last night.

Loretta called me, as usual,
after she wrapped on set,

and we had a, you
know, a nice chat.

A little shorter than usual.

And then, she had to run.

And then, I took
the teeniest tumble

into a deep, dark
pit of despair.

Look.

I have never seen
Instagram that big.

I didn't know Loretta was
on there. I should follow her.

Her feed is a cornucopia of
charming, sunny Hollywood content.

But notice this intruder.

- It's an arm.
- Yeah, a male arm!

A taut, rippling arm!

And I don't trust
its intentions!

It's in 11 of her last 14
pictures here. I mean, i-it...

She is spending 78%
of her documented time

with this mystery himbo,

and there's no way I
can find out who he is.

- You could ask her.
- Ask her?

And drive her into this
strong, supportive arm?

No, that's a one-way
ticket to cuck city,

population: Putnam!

Hey, Charles. Sazz was
one of Loretta's followers.

Sazz was on Instagram?

Yeah. She posted from this place

called concussions
the day she died.

What's concussions?

Concussions. It's
a stuntman bar.

"This New York institution
caters to the lunatics

"who take a beating, so your
favorite celebs don't have to.

Open to the public since
the civil rights act of 1964."

Well, we should go there.
Maybe somebody'll know

why sazz was asking
questions about the west tower.

Oh, they have
trivia on Thursday!

Jesus, turn your
brightness down!

I feel like I just looked
right into an eclipse.

Oh, right... Brightness, down!

T-Tablet, brightness down!

Down, brightness!

Susie, brightness down!

Howard, thanks for
watching the apartment.

And the pig.

We cuddled like king
Charles and Camilla.

What is up with this bed anyway?

It was a regift from Eva longoria.
She said she didn't need two.

Well, climb in.

We can use this time
to work on my podcast.

Animal jobs? You know,

the podcast about
animals and their jobs.

Welcome to animal jobs,

the podcast about
animals and their jobs.

I'm here with Henry, the
central park clydesdale.

You won't believe what else he
has to say. I have incredible audio.

All I need from you is to learn
how to edit, score, mix, and post it.

I'm sorry, I don't have time to
teach podcasting 101 right now.

What do you mean? You're
squatting and can't leave.

You're trapped with
me. In a fun way.

I... someone can't leave.

I need someone here

in case dudenoff shows
up and kicks me out. I...

Sorry, I have to follow a lead.

It's always about
the case with you.

It's like you don't care
about animal jobs at all.

No! No, no, no, it's just
those guys need me,

and you... are...
such a self-starter.

No, I'm not.

I'm a sad boy who
hates being alone.

Look at me. I'm
in bed with a pig.

You're right where you're
supposed to be. I promise.

Just please don't
leave until I come back.

Please? Thank you.

Thank you for the
pig. Bye, hammy.

Bye.

Now, before we get to
this bar, a word of warning.

Stuntmen are not like us. They
can be insular and provincial.

Have you ever been
to hell's kitchen?

Yeah, I've eaten at Oliver's.

I, for one, love getting out
and seeing the real New York.

"The humblest hovels
house the happiest hearts."

As Ronnie would say.

- What?
- Who's Ronnie?

Oh, Ronnie's short for Veronica,

the feisty grandma
from joliet, Illinois,

who loves crafting, Merlot,

and the power of
positive thinking.

- She's my finsta.
- Oh!

- What's a finsta?
- Oh, no.

A fake Instagram account.

I'm whimsically surveilling my
girlfriend to see if I should be worried

by using a fun, friendly avatar,

posing as her number-one fan.

Loretta has already responded
to two of Ronnie's comments.

This is a disaster
in the making.

- Please refocus.
- You're right.

"Where my attention
goes, energy flows."

That's so Ronnie.

Dropping it.

Humblest hovels is right.

I'm doing recon for
the murder board.

Uh, do you maybe wanna
turn off the shutter sound?

And the flash?

And the sepia filter? Do you
need me to take that from you?

Let's talk to the barkeep first.

He's not only the
keeper of the bar,

but also its secrets.

Yeah, I'll join you. I'm
fluent in "everyman."

Hey, bro.

Yeah, I think
I'll just have, uh,

uh, I'll have a cabernet.

Uh, 2011, if you have it.
Anything French, whatever.

And I will have a
Cosmopolitan. Not too pink.

Ideally in a boot.

What are you really here for?

We were hoping we could ask a
few questions about sazz pataki.

I'm not talking to you.

Well, maybe my friend

Mr. Lincoln will
change your mind.

Mister...

- ...abraham Lincoln.
- Ooh.

Hmm.

Uh, well, maybe this...
Will grease the wheels.

That's in addition to the five.

Think of all the tattoos
you can finish with that.

Ooh.

Well, maybe this
will unzip your lips.

Can you break this?

I give you the 20, you give
me back 15, take the five,

add it to the six,
for a total of 11.

Please just take his
money so this can stop.

Hey!

These guys giving you trouble?

Take it easy, everybody.
I'm Charles-haden savage.

Sazz pataki was my stunt double.

Not here. In here, you're sazz's
acting double. You're just a face.

- We don't like faces.
- You know what we say about faces?

Deep down, you're all asses.

Hold on. I'm not
like other faces.

Sazz was my friend.

- We're trying to solve her murder.
- Right.

For your podcast.

You're profiting off her death.

Meanwhile, the people who
really loved her can't even give her

the traditional stuntman's
funeral she deserves!

What? Why not?

No body, no funeral.

Uh, wha... - Ben glenroy?
- Uh... ah...

Ben's dead, ya eejit.

He's gone forever.
Oh, he'd love to be here,

but there's no possible way.

Youse can't come back
from the dead, now, can ya?

I'm Glen stubbins,
Ben's stunt double.

Oh yeah, I can see it.

Or I was, till you
feckers rubbed him out.

Who feckers? Us feckers?

All yas feckin' feckers
took him from me!

You got a... for your man.

Cheers.

For 15 years, I took
every lump and fall

for that doll of a man.

Then, someone got in his ear
about making his Mark on the stage!

One month later, boom!

Then later, that...
same night, boom again!

My number one was gone.

Hey, do you see 'em? Eh.

Just, just stamp!

- Ah!
- Hey!

Peeping at me with
their beady little eyes!

Oh!

Come on, stubbins.

For the last time, Glen,
there's no rats in this bar.

Oh, curse your eyes, there's
no rats. What do you call that?

Where is it? Come
on! Hey! Where'd it go?

Don't you see 'em?

There's no rats. What do you call this?
What do you call that?! What do you... ah!

Do-do you see 'em?

Guys, that's the purple light

from sazz's last selfie. I
have to get in that back room.

You've been here long
enough. Faces, out.

Don't worry, boyos.
I'll finish 'em off.

Time to introduce 'em

to bono... And the edge.

That went well!

Wait, wait!

Sorry.

Charles, a-apologies. I didn't
mean to rile ya up back there.

You threatened
me with half of U2!

Yeah, I was just keeping
up appearances, weren't I?

Look, Chuck,

I'm begging ya. Can you
help me get a job on your film?

You lost your stunt double.
I lost my acting double.

We could make each
other whole again.

I don't need a double.

Eh? Well...

Not even one that can do this?

Oh, my god!

- Or this?
- Whoa!

Uh...

Huh?

Oh god...

Eh?

Impressive, but if you
wanna double for Charles,

all you really need to
do is believably walk into

an easy-entrance bathtub.

Watch me throw myself
through the window.

- No, no, no!
- Stop! Um...

We, we will get you a job

- on the movie they're making about us.
- Yes. Yes.

Oh! Thank the virgin.

My face would've
been slashed to ribbons.

Only...

If you tell us what's
going on in that back room.

We know that sazz was
there the day she died.

Well, she was probably
seeing Dr. Maggie.

Who's Dr. Maggie?

Dr. Maggie. Oh, well,

it's not really words that
can describe what she is.

Yeah, miracle worker.

Exorcist of sorts. She helps...

Uh, release the pain demons
that plague us stunt folk

just by simply
cracking our bones.

S-So, she's a chiropractor.

There is a word.

Well, sazz was always with
Dr. Maggie getting cracked.

- Can you get us back there?
- What? Wait.

Sazz was in pain?

Loads of pain, thanks to you.

Of course, she
never would've let on.

It's the stuntman way.

Is it okay if I-I go
back there alone?

Oh, uh, s-sure. Are you alright?

Totally. I just think if there's
something to be faced back there,

I, sazz's face, should
be the one to face it.

Well, you know what
Ronnie would say.

"If you don't face your fears,

your fears will eat your face."

Sorry. Not Ronnie's finest work.

Well. Well, come
h... I-I'll take you back.

Oh, and, um,

mind the rats.

I'll see you back
at the arconia.

We're here with hammy Faye.

Now, hammy Faye, it's true
that most pigs can hunt for truffles,

but is it also true
that, if trained properly,

they can also be golf caddies?

Hello?

Dudenoff, is that you?

"Do you have what
it takes to be a star?"

Well, I think so.

"Open auditions for the
new only murders movie.

No experience necessary."

Oh, hammy.

We can't leave.

We could never betray
Mabel. Not for just...

Some long-shot chance at
a part on the silver screen.

Never.

♪

I'm Howard Morris. Tim
kono c... I'm gonna start again.

I'm Howard Morris.

Tim kono complained
a lot about Evelyn.

He said she gave
him asthma attacks.

He threatened to shoot her.

Evelyn may have had nine lives,

but I cut his one short.

Thank you.

What is happening right now?

- What?
- Seriously? What are you doing?

That's what I was wondering.

Well, I'm acting. The, um...

I'm acting the part of Howard?

I feel like I'm doing
ayahuasca in Boise, Idaho.

You make me wanna vomit.

What I believe trina and
tawny are saying is that...

We... love you?

Oh, good! Oh, I can't
wait to play myself.

Oh, you're not playing
you. Josh gad's playing you.

Wait, so I didn't get the part?

What I believe trina and tawny

are saying is,
unfortunately, no, you did not.

Of course not, but
you're amazing.

And we're gonna nurture you.

See you next week.
The same time. Okay.

Eh, Dr. Maggie? Your, uh,
man here wants to see ya.

Can you fit him in?

Oh, I don't want an adjustment.

I just wanna ask
a few questions.

- Okay.
- Well, eh, don't mind me.

I'll be hiding on
the rat-baffler.

They can't recognize
me when I'm upside down.

I wanna ask about sazz pataki.

I know she was
here the day she died,

and there's nothing stopping
you from talking about her.

You're not protected by hipaa
laws because you're not a real doctor.

Then how'd she get a
"Dr." before her name?

They don't just give those away.

Chiropractics is a
pseudoscience, no offense.

Hm... I'm sorry.

It physically hurts me
to see a body this tense.

- Hm? Huh?
- Have you ever had locked-in syndrome?

Is this your original arm?

We can talk, but not
until you get on my table.

I told you, I
don't believe in...

Just breathe!

Where the hell is dudenoff?

Those cult card players must
have told him I'm squatting

in his place by now.

- Oh, my god! It's a breakthrough!
- What?

Ronnie's bonded with Loretta
about their shared love of decoupage,

and she's about to ask
about the mystery arm.

Hmm. Okay, this is not how
you build trust in a relationship.

What's a cute word for "arm"?

Man branch? Hug
helper? Chesticle?

What has gotten into you?

Into me?!

I'm worried about
who's getting into Loretta!

- Oliver!
- Alright. Okay.

You know, I almost
proposed to Loretta in la.

Yeah, I know.

I was right there,

and then I didn't.

Why not?

Eh, one failed marriage,
who hasn't been there?

Two failed marriages?

People start asking questions.

Why do you assume it would fail?

Because she's living the
glamorous life of a starlet

with arms coming at
her from every direction.

Because... I always fail.

C-Can I have my
iPad back, please?

Fine, but no good can
come of this Ronnie thing.

Mabel, I have
something I need to say.

You clearly don't have time
to support my creative efforts,

so I am exiting our
one-sided relationship.

I believe this belongs to you.

Uh...

She likes when you
scratch under her armpits.

And she makes
this special little face

when she has to poopy
that... You know what?

I can't trust you with her.

Uh... wait, Howard!

If you're here, who's watching
the dudenoff apartment?

Oh...

♪

Go ahead. Ask your questions.

Uh, I know sazz was
here the day she died.

What did she... ah!

Talk about?!

Mostly about her pain.

And how excited she
was to finally retire.

Oh, wait. Sazz said
she was retiring!

Transitioning into a new career.

She didn't say what,
but it had something to do

with a difficult
relationship she was in.

She was tired of giving more
than she got from this person.

But she didn't know
how to get away.

This may sound random, but...

Did she ever mention "paradise"?

Not that I remember.

I have to warn you. When a
back as frozen as yours unlocks,

it can release
a lot of feelings.

Some people describe it as
an out-of-body experience.

I'm not worried. The only
out-of-body experience I ever had

is when I saw Edward hopper's
nighthawks at the Chicago art...

Sazz?

Sazz!

Wait up! Are you trying
to get away from me?

Oh, my god.

Ah, it's just a scratch.

I told ya, I'm trying to get
to paradise. You coming?

Whew... Wow.

You were out for a minute
there. Are you alright?

Physically, yes.

Emotionally, no.

That bad relationship
sazz said she was in...

...I'm afraid it was with me.

Aw.

- What have you got for heartache, mags?
- Well,

relationship worries are
stored in the pelvic floor, so...

Whoa-ho-ho! No. No.

We'll... we'll c... We'll
call this a hit right here,

so you did it. Thank
you, but mm-mm. Yeah.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

♪

What are you doing here?

We could ask the
same thing of you.

I could have this place
swarming with cops in two minutes.

- No, no, no, no no. No more cops.
- Then, can you just

tell me what kind
of cult you are?

What are we talking,
sex, Satan, or vitamins?

- We're not a cult.
- Oh, really?

You all talk on ham
radios, live communally,

play a weird card game,
and eat... Bathtub pork.

When you say it
like that, I can track it.

Okay, so then what's going on?

That's it. I'm calling
detective Williams.

Fine.

- I'll tell you.
- No, Vince! Don't!

Hey. What if we cut her in?

She does need a place to live.

- Oh, so she can have her own apartment?
- Yes. She's an adult.

- I'm an adult.
- Let's act like it.

Cut me into what?

What I'm about to tell
you could ruin many lives.

The information must
never leave this room.

Okay, but I'm definitely
telling Charles and Oliver.

Get 'em.

What...

What are these?

Leases?

We're illegally subletting
rent-controlled apartments.

We're not a cult.

It's a rent-control scheme.

Although I have suggested getting
matching bathrobes in the past.

Every apartment on
this floor was rented

by professor dudenoff years ago.

We all met professor
dudenoff at one point or another.

We all needed a
cheap place to live.

He saw that we
were... what's the word?

Weirdos?

I was looking for
something softer, but yeah.

- Weirdos.
- It can be hard to survive in this city

when you march to the
beat of your own drum.

You need somebody
to have your back.

Professor dudenoff
was that for us.

Professor dudenoff retired to Portugal,
but he still takes care of us every month.

He sends us his favorite
jamón, and we send him rent.

He lives like a
king in Portugal,

and we get to live in
the arconia for peanuts.

How much is peanuts?

200.

Dollars? A month?!

That's what you
could be paying, too.

If you keep this
out of the podcast.

Wait. The voice on
the ham radio said...

- That was Helga, my ex-girlfriend.
- Your crazy ex-girlfriend.

- You deserve so much better.
- Okay, she's just very slightly unhinged,

but she's from Finland, you
know? It's cold and dark there.

They spend a lot of time
inside their own heads.

She said sazz got killed
for asking about you guys.

Killed? For asking about us?

I've never even met sazz!

Helga's working through
some issues. A little paranoia.

It's sad. I blocked
her on my cell.

I showed you guys,

but she keeps trying
to reach me on the ham.

So, Helga's just... nuts?

Look, we're just a
family of weirdos here.

Helga was the
wrong kind of weirdo.

But, you...

You could be the
right kind of weirdo.

♪

What do you say?

Okay, so you're telling me the
westies play a game called "oh hell,"

and somehow they're
not a satanist cult?

Apparently not.

I mean, their story is so
crazy, I kinda believe it.

And at $200 a month,
I can't afford not to.

I feel bad about Howard.

He needed a dudenoff
today, and I dropped the ball.

Take one trick.

He'll come back around.

Unlike my Loretta.

- I'll take two.
- At least she's still alive.

Sazz sacrificed
everything for me,

and by the time I realized it, it
was too late to make it up to her.

I'll take none.

Maybe Ronnie
should ask Loretta...

Okay, r-Ronnie is still with us?

Oliver, I know you're doing this
because you're afraid to lose Loretta,

but if she finds out,
you are gonna lose her.

Okay, fine.

I'll put Ronnie down.

No, I can't.

I can't do it.
Mabel, you kill her.

Alright. Well, does Ronnie
have any last words?

"We say bye-bye...

Because one bye
is never enough."

Okay, nice eulogy. Funeral over.

Funeral.

Maybe there is something
I can still do for sazz.

You need a body?

I'm your body.

When a face learns to
appreciate their double's sacrifices,

it can make for a special bond.

One that lasts a
lifetime or even beyond.

Alright now, you sure
you can handle this?

Sazz stood in for
me so many times.

The least I can do
is lie down for her.

Oh!

Alright, animals,
gather around! Listen up.

We are here to pay tribute
to the great sazz pataki.

- Sazz!
- First among us gone too soon.

She lies before us now in state.

We'll begin the service
with the traditional

stuntman's Margarita.

- Ready. Steady. Sláinte.
- Sláinte!

Who wants to tell sazz how
much she meant to 'em? Line up.

- I got the breakaways.
- Good man.

♪ And joy be with you ♪

Aw, sazz.

When I clipped that sailboat in
that gnarly hang-gliding wreck,

you came with me to
get my prosthetic shins.

I love you, man!

♪ ...the parting glass
and drink a health ♪

♪ whate'er befalls ♪

Lie still, dead man.

♪ Gently rise and softly call ♪

Next!

♪ Goodnight and joy be to... ♪

Sazz. You taught me to
put my fireproof jockstrap

in the freezer before a blow-up.

Shrunk my dick. You saved
me from burning my balls off.

Thanks, pal.

♪ ...for my going away ♪

♪ and all the sweethearts ♪

♪ that e'er I had ♪

Right. Well, my
favorite sazz story.

Bunch of us lads got hired as
stunt consultants on jackass forever.

This was the one where that shite
fucker Rex Bailey got his heel blown off

teaching Johnny Knoxville
how to get fired out of a Cannon.

Anyways, Steve-O...

Kept calling me lucky charms
boy. Magically delicious!

Pink hearts, yellow moons,
green clovers, orange stars,

blue diamonds, every feckin'
marshmallow in the box!

And sazz, bless her...

She put him in
an arm bar until...

♪ I gently rise
and softly call ♪

Until he pissed his trousers.

Oh, sazz, love,

we're fucked if we know
how to stagger on without ya.

Was that a real
bottle, you asshole?

You set them up, you prick!

Are you calling me a Rex Bailey?

Ye feckin' cock!

Just like sazz would've wanted.

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

- Hey, sazz.
- Hey!

You okay? That last hit
you took looked pretty rough.

Ah, piece of cake.

But someday, I won't be
able to take the hits anymore,

and then, you know
what I'm gonna do?

I'ma open up a trampoline park like
the ones I used to go to with my dad.

Where a kid can learn
how to fly and how to fall.

Train the next
generation of stunt people.

The sazz pataki impact academy.

Why not build it here? Location
manager said this lot's for sale.

Or it will be after the
superfund cleanup.

Ah, yeah. Maybe.

Uh, and let's keep
this under our hat, huh?

The other stunt guys
would laugh at this.

But I can trust you.
You're my number one.

This is it. Sazz's paradise.

- Is this a toxic waste dump?
- It was.

Government cleaned it up.

Hmm.

Yuck.

♪

This was her dream.

She came so close.

Wait. Did you hear that?

Is somebody in there?

Careful.

- What is this place, a hideout?
- Kinda spooky.

This is really gonna
drain my battery.

Let me know if
you see an outlet.

Oh!

Thank god, someone
from show business.

Don't move or I'll blow
your fucking brains out.

♪