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1
00:00:29,271 --> 00:00:34,063
City by the mighty dirty river
2
00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:40,109
City by the greasy rolling sea
3
00:00:40,782 --> 00:00:43,617
I crawl so small
4
00:00:44,202 --> 00:00:48,412
And it stands so tall
5
00:00:48,998 --> 00:00:52,747
And it all belongs
6
00:00:53,127 --> 00:00:55,831
To me
7
00:00:58,548 --> 00:01:00,920
Welcome to Joe's apartment
8
00:01:01,009 --> 00:01:03,759
It's our apartment, too
9
00:01:03,845 --> 00:01:06,217
We've been around
for a hundred million years
10
00:01:06,305 --> 00:01:08,762
And we'll be here long after you
11
00:01:11,435 --> 00:01:14,057
Let's go to our place
It's a great big space
12
00:01:14,147 --> 00:01:16,816
It's where I wanna be
13
00:01:16,899 --> 00:01:19,686
Where friends all meet
And life is sweet
14
00:01:19,777 --> 00:01:22,104
'Cause everything's for free
15
00:01:22,198 --> 00:01:24,949
It's the joint, it's a gas
16
00:01:25,034 --> 00:01:27,522
It's a big fat boot in the ass
17
00:01:27,993 --> 00:01:30,744
Let's toast! Raise your glass
18
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:36,949
Here's to Joe! A man with class
19
00:01:37,293 --> 00:01:41,208
So! Hello from Joe's apartment
20
00:01:41,297 --> 00:01:44,214
You're gonna love the view
21
00:01:44,466 --> 00:01:47,173
It's a nest that beats the rest
22
00:01:47,262 --> 00:01:50,132
We're so glad that you're our guest
23
00:01:50,222 --> 00:01:53,674
Come on in, we're all undressed
24
00:01:53,934 --> 00:02:00,185
Joe's apartment, we welcome you!
25
00:02:01,943 --> 00:02:03,436
Nice singing!
26
00:02:05,029 --> 00:02:06,606
The movie's starting.
27
00:02:34,097 --> 00:02:37,263
Dear Mom,
I made it to New York safe and sound.
28
00:02:37,350 --> 00:02:39,094
Hands up, pinhead!
29
00:02:55,703 --> 00:02:57,990
Dear Mom, I made it to New York.
30
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,823
Hands up, pinhead!
31
00:03:09,131 --> 00:03:10,162
Dear Mom--
32
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,000
Hands up, pinhead!
33
00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:13,248
Please send money.
34
00:03:33,654 --> 00:03:36,858
Don 't worry, Mom, I'll pay you back soon.
I'm bound to get a job.
35
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,943
I'm a college graduate.
36
00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:44,786
But first things first.
I got to get an apartment.
37
00:03:44,915 --> 00:03:47,205
I hope I can get one really cheap.
38
00:03:47,418 --> 00:03:49,410
$1,500 a month?
39
00:03:50,128 --> 00:03:52,453
There's a hole in the ceiling.
40
00:03:52,839 --> 00:03:54,797
It's a private atrium.
41
00:03:58,554 --> 00:04:02,005
$1,100 a month for 300 square feet.
42
00:04:02,266 --> 00:04:04,138
That's a sweet deal.
43
00:04:05,517 --> 00:04:06,631
No vacancy.
44
00:04:06,726 --> 00:04:07,971
$1,500 a month.
45
00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:09,972
Nothing for that price range.
46
00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:12,434
Try Nebraska.
47
00:04:31,627 --> 00:04:34,378
Oh, my God, mister. Are you all right?
48
00:04:39,341 --> 00:04:43,719
Two days, seven hours,
twenty-three minutes and four seconds.
49
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:47,177
That's how long I've been lying here.
50
00:04:48,809 --> 00:04:50,302
Are you okay?
51
00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:54,974
Of course not. I'm an artist.
52
00:04:59,862 --> 00:05:03,444
I wanted to express how cold,
how pitiless this city really is.
53
00:05:03,531 --> 00:05:05,570
Nobody touched you for two days?
54
00:05:05,658 --> 00:05:07,366
Spitting doesn't count.
55
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,368
You must be from out of town.
56
00:05:11,666 --> 00:05:12,779
Yeah.
57
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:14,990
Iowa.
58
00:05:16,252 --> 00:05:18,659
-What's your name?
-Joe.
59
00:05:18,921 --> 00:05:20,747
Walter. Walter Shit.
60
00:05:21,715 --> 00:05:23,174
Walter Shit?
61
00:05:23,843 --> 00:05:24,839
Yeah.
62
00:05:25,929 --> 00:05:27,090
Yeah.
63
00:05:30,057 --> 00:05:31,884
Looking for a place?
64
00:05:32,142 --> 00:05:34,052
Something for $100 a month.
65
00:05:37,272 --> 00:05:42,148
Hey, junior here thinks he's going to find
his own rent-controlled apartment!
66
00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:49,530
Rent-controlled apartment?
67
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:50,732
Yeah.
68
00:05:50,827 --> 00:05:54,695
A place where the rent's been frozen
since the 1950s.
69
00:05:55,124 --> 00:05:57,958
Those places are hard to find
because no one ever leaves them.
70
00:05:58,042 --> 00:06:01,375
Not unless the landlord gives them
a little help.
71
00:06:53,136 --> 00:06:55,175
I love the real estate business.
72
00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:11,402
They're tougher than they look.
73
00:07:11,487 --> 00:07:15,151
See? There's really no way
to get a rent-controlled apartment.
74
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,402
No way at all?
75
00:07:16,490 --> 00:07:19,446
I mean, only if
it's your mom's apartment...
76
00:07:19,537 --> 00:07:20,995
and she croaks.
77
00:07:21,455 --> 00:07:23,447
How you doing, Mrs. Grotowski?
78
00:07:28,044 --> 00:07:29,455
Oh, my God!
79
00:07:32,507 --> 00:07:36,255
Joe, Mrs. Grotowski doesn't have
any family.
80
00:07:36,803 --> 00:07:39,672
You pose as her son, take her apartment.
81
00:07:39,972 --> 00:07:41,087
What?
82
00:07:41,515 --> 00:07:43,258
I couldn't!
83
00:07:45,394 --> 00:07:47,138
Oh, my God!
84
00:07:47,479 --> 00:07:48,594
Joe!
85
00:07:50,315 --> 00:07:52,307
It's your mother!
86
00:07:53,901 --> 00:07:56,227
And she's dead!
87
00:07:59,908 --> 00:08:01,070
Thank you.
88
00:08:06,957 --> 00:08:08,534
My first place!
89
00:08:22,345 --> 00:08:23,508
Quiet!
90
00:08:23,597 --> 00:08:25,341
Got to hide! Got to hide!
91
00:08:25,433 --> 00:08:28,350
-Never seen him around before.
-Where's the old lady?
92
00:08:28,435 --> 00:08:31,270
-Luggage! I don't like it!
-Stay undercover.
93
00:08:31,355 --> 00:08:32,933
Right, another stupid human.
94
00:08:33,023 --> 00:08:34,980
-Shut up!
-Can it, both of you.
95
00:08:41,906 --> 00:08:43,187
Oh, no!
96
00:08:46,119 --> 00:08:47,992
Yummy, yummy!
97
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:57,707
Damn. Ralph's out there. Poor sucker.
98
00:09:06,262 --> 00:09:10,259
This is the greasiest,
ugliest bug I've ever seen in my life.
99
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,765
-Look at that.
-Our kind of guy.
100
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,850
He likes good living. That's for sure.
101
00:09:21,943 --> 00:09:24,268
-He's not so bad.
-He's got potential.
102
00:09:25,573 --> 00:09:28,692
Did you hear that? "Greasy."
Nice compliment.
103
00:09:29,076 --> 00:09:30,903
I thought you was smushed for sure.
104
00:09:30,995 --> 00:09:32,323
Who's out there?
105
00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:34,701
Schlomo and Pauli, who else?
106
00:09:35,248 --> 00:09:38,866
-Schlomo, I quit drinking.
-Me, too, Pauli.
107
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,875
Ever since I joined this health club.
It's a great lap pool.
108
00:09:43,632 --> 00:09:45,209
Diver down.
109
00:09:46,134 --> 00:09:47,759
We're gonna get drunk.
110
00:09:47,844 --> 00:09:51,544
Hold on. He's having a taste
of Old Hound Dog instead.
111
00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:53,465
I'll drink to that.
112
00:10:09,237 --> 00:10:13,071
I can't tell you how happy I am
to be finally out on my own, Mom.
113
00:10:13,244 --> 00:10:15,071
No, no thanks, Mom.
114
00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:18,365
I can find a job by myself.
Look how easy I got a place.
115
00:10:19,624 --> 00:10:20,952
Yes, Mom.
116
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:24,251
No, Mom. Right, Mom. Good, Mom.
117
00:10:24,795 --> 00:10:27,335
Isn't his mom supposed to be dead?
118
00:10:29,010 --> 00:10:30,383
Landlord!
119
00:10:39,268 --> 00:10:42,019
I hope everything's going fine
up in heaven, Mom.
120
00:10:42,104 --> 00:10:44,677
Pray to you later. Amen!
121
00:10:44,773 --> 00:10:47,062
Joe, who are you talking to?
122
00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:53,820
Who the hell are you?
123
00:10:54,616 --> 00:10:56,739
Joe Grotowski.
124
00:10:57,493 --> 00:10:59,651
Joe F. Grotowski.
125
00:11:00,538 --> 00:11:02,198
Vladimir Bianco.
126
00:11:02,790 --> 00:11:04,498
My cousin, Jesus.
127
00:11:05,459 --> 00:11:07,416
Vlad and Jesus Bianco?
128
00:11:07,919 --> 00:11:09,581
You are related?
129
00:11:10,047 --> 00:11:12,337
Speaking of relations,
I knew your old lady...
130
00:11:12,426 --> 00:11:15,093
and she never talked you up! Not once!
131
00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:17,928
-I've been away at college.
-ls that so?
132
00:11:18,013 --> 00:11:20,635
Well, $50 rent, college boy.
133
00:11:20,891 --> 00:11:23,049
-Cash!
-Now!
134
00:11:27,272 --> 00:11:29,348
Sorry about your moms, man.
135
00:11:29,441 --> 00:11:32,227
But maybe you won't be missing her long.
136
00:11:33,486 --> 00:11:34,814
Amen.
137
00:11:44,914 --> 00:11:48,116
Dear Mom, thanks for another loan.
138
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,576
I haven 't found a job yet...
139
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,291
but I'm on the lookout for something good.
140
00:12:36,463 --> 00:12:38,585
Thank you for calling 91 1.
141
00:12:38,673 --> 00:12:42,292
Your call is important to us.
Please stay on the line.
142
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:46,341
Your local police precinct
will be with you shortly.
143
00:12:53,562 --> 00:12:55,686
Central Complaint Department,
please hold.
144
00:12:55,773 --> 00:12:57,896
I don't know. Please hold.
145
00:12:58,859 --> 00:13:01,065
I can't help you. Please hold.
146
00:13:01,152 --> 00:13:03,691
Like, who cares, man? Please hold.
147
00:13:03,822 --> 00:13:07,605
Alligators in the subway.
Interesting, ma'am. Please hold.
148
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:13,372
No, sir. Don't try to saw it off yourself.
Please hold.
149
00:13:17,085 --> 00:13:21,378
-Central Complaint Department.
-I'm calling from 324 1/2 East 8th Street.
150
00:13:22,215 --> 00:13:25,749
No water, no heat, no power.
151
00:13:26,343 --> 00:13:28,917
Roof leaking, drug dealing.
152
00:13:29,013 --> 00:13:31,338
People falling out of windows?
153
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,182
Congratulations, sir.
This is the worst call I've had all day!
154
00:13:36,269 --> 00:13:37,349
Really?
155
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,690
Coffee break!
156
00:13:46,529 --> 00:13:48,024
Please hold.
157
00:13:49,825 --> 00:13:51,022
Hello?
158
00:14:04,965 --> 00:14:06,375
Lily, what's up?
159
00:14:06,465 --> 00:14:08,292
Oh, Blank. Hey.
160
00:14:09,384 --> 00:14:12,884
This garden of yours
is really coming along.
161
00:14:13,013 --> 00:14:16,381
-Quite a change from the old air shaft.
-Oh, yeah.
162
00:14:16,891 --> 00:14:19,809
It's such a relief after all those calls.
163
00:14:23,232 --> 00:14:24,855
It ain't bad now.
164
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:27,561
Wait till there's a riot or a fire!
165
00:14:28,486 --> 00:14:29,946
Serious O.T.
166
00:14:30,072 --> 00:14:34,116
I wish we could do something
other than put people on hold.
167
00:14:34,783 --> 00:14:38,198
What are you doing
in this dead-end city department anyway?
168
00:14:38,286 --> 00:14:40,325
Child, go work for your dad.
169
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:42,869
The man's a U.S. senator.
170
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,667
Wear a nice dress, sit next to his podium.
171
00:14:46,837 --> 00:14:50,170
You could get into politics, easy.
172
00:15:05,896 --> 00:15:08,268
-Mr. Bianco.
-Check it out.
173
00:15:08,357 --> 00:15:11,108
Please, Senator, just call me Alberto.
174
00:15:11,193 --> 00:15:13,815
Have you brought me good news, Alberto?
175
00:15:13,905 --> 00:15:17,819
My second to the last tenant
has just taken flight, Senator.
176
00:15:18,159 --> 00:15:20,317
We two saw her off personally.
177
00:15:20,411 --> 00:15:23,659
Wonderful. She'll love the condo
you bought her.
178
00:15:23,912 --> 00:15:26,533
Nothing is too good for my tenants.
179
00:15:26,873 --> 00:15:28,584
And how about your last tenant?
180
00:15:28,669 --> 00:15:31,040
We made his final arrangements.
181
00:15:32,339 --> 00:15:34,580
And soon the building will be yours.
182
00:15:34,883 --> 00:15:38,749
The U.S. government will have
acquired the last property we need...
183
00:15:39,804 --> 00:15:41,381
for the brand new...
184
00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:43,590
Manhattan...
185
00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:46,391
maximum security...
186
00:15:46,477 --> 00:15:48,268
federal penitentiary.
187
00:15:50,648 --> 00:15:53,055
The biggest prison in the world.
188
00:15:55,443 --> 00:15:58,066
Whatever happened
to the Lower East Side?
189
00:15:58,655 --> 00:16:00,613
How did it decay so badly...
190
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,153
that the only thing
that'll sprout in its soil...
191
00:16:04,244 --> 00:16:05,323
is a jail?
192
00:16:05,412 --> 00:16:07,737
We can't take all the credit for that.
193
00:16:07,830 --> 00:16:10,035
But we're glad we could help.
194
00:16:20,633 --> 00:16:22,674
Oh, look at those kids.
195
00:16:23,011 --> 00:16:25,468
They could get hurt,
playing in this empty lot.
196
00:16:25,556 --> 00:16:28,474
I used to get plenty of cuts
and scratches...
197
00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:31,051
but that's all there is around here.
198
00:16:32,854 --> 00:16:34,183
Hi, guys.
199
00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:36,183
What are you making?
200
00:16:36,273 --> 00:16:37,768
A crack house.
201
00:16:40,362 --> 00:16:41,821
Oh, my God.
202
00:16:42,489 --> 00:16:43,864
This is awful.
203
00:16:43,949 --> 00:16:47,281
This should be a public garden,
with safe places for kids to play...
204
00:16:47,368 --> 00:16:48,827
with flowers and trees.
205
00:16:48,912 --> 00:16:52,363
Lily, this ain't no cute little
building atrium.
206
00:16:52,539 --> 00:16:55,030
This is the nastiest neighborhood
in New York City.
207
00:16:55,876 --> 00:16:57,417
Come on, girl.
208
00:17:36,248 --> 00:17:38,537
-Conference.
-What's up, Ralph?
209
00:17:38,626 --> 00:17:42,954
This new guy, Joe. He don't wash,
clean, vacuum. He don't give a crap.
210
00:17:43,046 --> 00:17:45,797
He's the dirtiest slob on the planet.
211
00:17:46,508 --> 00:17:48,547
I think I'm in love.
212
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,877
-Me, too, Ralph.
-I vote we keep him.
213
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,595
We got to break him in, that's all.
214
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,434
Oh, my gosh!
215
00:18:08,279 --> 00:18:11,482
Looks like the landlord
wants to change Joe's lease.
216
00:18:11,573 --> 00:18:13,282
They aren't doing no paint job.
217
00:18:15,535 --> 00:18:19,485
Let's not kid ourselves.
If Joe gets greased, we're next.
218
00:18:19,581 --> 00:18:23,579
I won't stand for it!
Let's teach them toe-heads some respect!
219
00:18:25,335 --> 00:18:27,245
Roaches to the rescue!
220
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:30,210
I love the smell of this old couch.
221
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,505
-Double time! Double time!
-Hang on!
222
00:18:32,592 --> 00:18:35,167
Hurry! These goons will bust Joe's skull!
223
00:18:35,513 --> 00:18:36,592
He knows it, too.
224
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:38,888
-Feel him shaking?
-Spring is in the air.
225
00:18:38,975 --> 00:18:41,382
-Stay cool, Joe.
-Take it easy, Joe.
226
00:18:41,477 --> 00:18:44,015
Don't worry, Joe. We got your back.
227
00:18:44,105 --> 00:18:45,185
Who....
228
00:18:48,733 --> 00:18:50,691
Where is he?
229
00:19:08,711 --> 00:19:11,795
-Troops! Antennas up!
-Sir, yes, sir!
230
00:19:12,756 --> 00:19:14,381
Bombs away!
231
00:19:16,342 --> 00:19:18,218
Give me a kiss, asshole.
232
00:19:19,471 --> 00:19:21,131
God, they talk?
233
00:19:21,431 --> 00:19:24,681
That's right!
I'm about to kick your ass, too!
234
00:19:25,185 --> 00:19:26,845
Disgusting little....
235
00:19:27,103 --> 00:19:30,139
Your mama's cooking sucks!
I wouldn't even touch it.
236
00:19:38,364 --> 00:19:40,690
I think he got me! He got me!
237
00:19:40,825 --> 00:19:44,028
I'm heading up to that big Dumpster
in the sky.
238
00:19:44,579 --> 00:19:46,155
You missed!
239
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,622
Over here, fruitcake.
240
00:20:00,845 --> 00:20:02,256
Let's go!
241
00:20:04,806 --> 00:20:06,882
It's a roach clip. Get it?
242
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,478
Now you're in trouble!
243
00:20:15,191 --> 00:20:17,435
Ought to stomp your freaking head!
244
00:20:23,407 --> 00:20:26,076
Slip on something more comfortable.
245
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:31,703
Hiya, Hansel and Gretel,
lay off our buddy Joe.
246
00:20:32,958 --> 00:20:35,993
-Okay. Just let us go, please!
-Are you listening?
247
00:20:36,085 --> 00:20:39,703
Because if you ain't, you'll get a roach
in every meal you'll ever have...
248
00:20:39,797 --> 00:20:41,836
for the rest of your freaking life!
249
00:20:41,924 --> 00:20:43,749
-You got that?
-Yeah!
250
00:20:43,841 --> 00:20:45,551
We know where you live!
251
00:20:45,887 --> 00:20:48,093
We live where you live.
252
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,567
-What a fall!
-Leaving so soon?
253
00:21:00,652 --> 00:21:02,976
-The party's just started!
-See you.
254
00:21:03,070 --> 00:21:04,564
Hate to be you!
255
00:21:11,035 --> 00:21:13,194
-A spare!
-You was robbed!
256
00:21:14,415 --> 00:21:17,948
You was great, Ralphie.
What a couple of pansies.
257
00:21:18,042 --> 00:21:20,081
Joe, are you all right?
258
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:22,786
Get back!
259
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:24,374
-Joe.
-Buddy!
260
00:21:24,465 --> 00:21:28,332
-That ain't no way to treat your friends.
-My friends?
261
00:21:28,427 --> 00:21:33,173
Sure! We like the way you run things here,
so we wanted to keep you around.
262
00:21:35,433 --> 00:21:36,928
You can talk.
263
00:21:37,102 --> 00:21:39,640
Talk? We can sing!
264
00:21:42,023 --> 00:21:43,767
Garbage
265
00:21:43,859 --> 00:21:46,564
Garbage
266
00:21:46,696 --> 00:21:49,860
Garbage
267
00:21:50,448 --> 00:21:51,527
Sorry.
268
00:21:52,075 --> 00:21:54,744
The garbage in the moonlight
269
00:21:54,827 --> 00:21:57,948
Gives off a lovely smell
270
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,618
Sipping sewage with my baby
271
00:22:00,708 --> 00:22:03,282
In our little roach motel
272
00:22:03,378 --> 00:22:07,076
Please, don 't tell
273
00:22:18,933 --> 00:22:23,511
On an ocean trip on a garbage ship
With a cockroach I adore
274
00:22:23,604 --> 00:22:28,481
We 'll take a taste of the medical waste
That washes up on shore
275
00:22:28,569 --> 00:22:31,025
Oh, sweetheart, say you love me
276
00:22:31,113 --> 00:22:33,863
And crawl underneath my rug
277
00:22:33,948 --> 00:22:37,566
You're one in a thousand billion, baby
278
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:42,286
Oh, won 't you be my bug?
279
00:22:42,415 --> 00:22:45,285
Oh, won 't you be my bug?
280
00:22:45,376 --> 00:22:50,121
Please, be my bug
281
00:23:08,815 --> 00:23:10,724
God, what a nightmare.
282
00:23:32,253 --> 00:23:34,330
I'm up. I'm up already.
283
00:23:54,983 --> 00:23:57,984
-What's that?
-I'm trying to get some shuteye here.
284
00:23:58,445 --> 00:24:00,652
Morning. My name's Ralph Roach.
285
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,531
This is my associate, Rodney Roach.
286
00:24:02,616 --> 00:24:04,239
What's happening, Joe?
287
00:24:05,494 --> 00:24:07,534
Another hot and muggy, Joe?
288
00:24:07,662 --> 00:24:10,829
-What are you doing on my breakfast?
-Little nosh, that's all.
289
00:24:10,915 --> 00:24:13,406
-How's it hanging today?
-Word up.
290
00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:16,291
How do you like the Knicks?
291
00:24:16,462 --> 00:24:17,921
How many of you are there?
292
00:24:18,006 --> 00:24:22,051
This apartment? Not a lot.
About 20,000, 30,000, 40,000.
293
00:24:22,176 --> 00:24:24,050
Mostly family, you know.
294
00:24:24,137 --> 00:24:25,762
-And you can talk?
-Sure.
295
00:24:25,846 --> 00:24:28,632
We just don't talk much.
Not to people, anyhow.
296
00:24:28,723 --> 00:24:31,974
No point. People smush first,
and ask questions later.
297
00:24:32,060 --> 00:24:34,469
But not you, brother. You're different.
298
00:24:34,814 --> 00:24:36,272
Oh, yeah?
299
00:24:44,863 --> 00:24:46,276
Joe, Joe!
300
00:24:46,366 --> 00:24:49,533
Let's be friends.
We just saved your life, remember?
301
00:24:49,619 --> 00:24:50,865
Besides, Joe...
302
00:24:50,955 --> 00:24:54,654
if those two friends of yours come back,
we might come in useful.
303
00:24:54,749 --> 00:24:58,083
So, how about
a live-and-let-live philosophy here?
304
00:24:59,169 --> 00:25:01,292
"Slobs of a feather swarm together."
305
00:25:01,380 --> 00:25:03,207
-Makes sense to me.
-That's fair.
306
00:25:03,299 --> 00:25:05,091
-What's yours is ours.
-Stereo rights?
307
00:25:05,176 --> 00:25:07,049
Just warn us before you flush.
308
00:25:07,136 --> 00:25:08,879
I got to get out of here.
309
00:25:11,139 --> 00:25:13,889
-Where are you going?
-None of your business.
310
00:25:13,974 --> 00:25:16,892
-Mind if we hang out with you?
-Yes!
311
00:25:17,729 --> 00:25:19,521
-Come on!
-Don't be that way, Joey!
312
00:25:19,606 --> 00:25:20,720
Can't we? Please?
313
00:25:20,815 --> 00:25:23,271
-You won't even notice us.
-We'll be good.
314
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:24,557
What's up his butt?
315
00:25:24,651 --> 00:25:28,981
We ought to keep an eye on him,
in case he needs our help.
316
00:25:29,073 --> 00:25:31,825
-Right as usual, Ralph.
-Excellent idea, Ralph.
317
00:25:59,016 --> 00:26:00,297
Ritardo's!
318
00:26:01,729 --> 00:26:04,138
Come on in. The cheese is fine.
319
00:26:05,149 --> 00:26:06,643
You're fired!
320
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,767
Here are your enlargements, sir.
321
00:26:13,115 --> 00:26:14,525
You're fired!
322
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:16,405
You're fired!
323
00:26:18,288 --> 00:26:20,160
-You're fired!
-You're fired!
324
00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,996
Poor Joe. Having trouble keeping a job.
325
00:26:27,128 --> 00:26:28,753
We're doing our best to help.
326
00:26:28,838 --> 00:26:30,877
Guess we got to keep on trying.
327
00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:35,924
-Love this guy! Breakfast?
-Don't mind if I do.
328
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:43,097
-Don't panic or nothing.
-What do you mean?
329
00:26:43,184 --> 00:26:45,177
Well, it appears to me...
330
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:49,220
that one of our most dreaded
natural enemies somehow got in!
331
00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:50,896
Oh, my God!
332
00:26:50,985 --> 00:26:53,392
Joe, wake up! A cat!
333
00:26:56,864 --> 00:26:58,739
Don't let it get me!
334
00:27:04,748 --> 00:27:06,739
How's everybody doing tonight?
335
00:27:09,168 --> 00:27:11,161
Thank you! Good-looking crowd.
336
00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:13,628
Anybody here from New Jersey?
337
00:27:14,131 --> 00:27:15,507
What exit?
338
00:27:16,008 --> 00:27:17,254
He's dying out there.
339
00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:20,130
Some pretty cool cats from there:
Sinatra, Bruce.
340
00:27:20,221 --> 00:27:22,426
Say, nice set of whiskers, sir.
341
00:27:23,348 --> 00:27:25,506
Poor Ralphie. I can't look!
342
00:27:29,269 --> 00:27:31,429
It's Cousin Tiny from Texas!
343
00:27:31,523 --> 00:27:34,228
Howdy, cousins! Just buzzing through!
344
00:27:34,318 --> 00:27:37,234
Let's have ourselves a little rodeo!
345
00:27:47,122 --> 00:27:49,079
It's chicken-pickin ', finger-lickin ' good
346
00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:50,908
I got my honey in a sunny neighborhood
347
00:27:50,999 --> 00:27:52,957
It's a wrassling, hassling, dazzling show
348
00:27:53,044 --> 00:27:56,579
Grab a lady and do-si-do
A little bitty kitty-cat rodeo
349
00:28:12,812 --> 00:28:14,519
Scrape it, Clyde!
350
00:28:15,606 --> 00:28:18,311
Now you ought to bring your daughter
'cause it's hotter
351
00:28:18,401 --> 00:28:20,856
When he's shaking and a-baking
and breaking it in
352
00:28:20,944 --> 00:28:23,316
He's a-gripping, he's a-slipping
353
00:28:23,780 --> 00:28:27,114
Come on, mister, bring your sister
Bring her to the rodeo
354
00:28:28,869 --> 00:28:30,150
Go, Joe!
355
00:28:30,246 --> 00:28:32,239
-Go, Joe!
-Attaboy, Joe!
356
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:37,413
-Look at those claws digging into his face!
-That's got to hurt!
357
00:28:40,590 --> 00:28:42,665
Good arm, Joe! Good arm!
358
00:28:47,929 --> 00:28:49,968
You saved my life!
359
00:28:50,348 --> 00:28:54,298
No human being has ever saved the life
of a cockroach.
360
00:28:56,187 --> 00:29:00,099
This is a breakthrough
in "interspecio" diplomacy!
361
00:29:00,773 --> 00:29:03,977
Yeah? Well, stop following me
to work already!
362
00:29:04,069 --> 00:29:06,477
-For God's sake!
-You got it, Joe.
363
00:29:06,572 --> 00:29:08,481
-Forget about it.
-Don't worry.
364
00:29:08,574 --> 00:29:10,531
We don't follow you to work no more.
365
00:29:10,617 --> 00:29:13,025
Yeah, right. I've heard that before.
366
00:29:14,287 --> 00:29:17,622
Give me a "J"! Give me an "O"! An "E"!
367
00:29:17,708 --> 00:29:19,747
-What's that spell?
-Joe!
368
00:29:20,002 --> 00:29:22,208
-What's that spell?
-Joe!
369
00:29:22,838 --> 00:29:27,084
Dear Mom, the job situation
has been a little tricky.
370
00:29:27,717 --> 00:29:30,837
But I know I'm going to land
something soon.
371
00:29:36,726 --> 00:29:38,268
Congratulate me.
372
00:29:38,353 --> 00:29:40,973
This is the first of my works to use paint!
373
00:29:41,813 --> 00:29:44,599
I call this piece lnstant Minority.
374
00:29:45,316 --> 00:29:46,941
I did the whole block.
375
00:29:47,527 --> 00:29:50,278
But people are black or white or brown.
376
00:29:50,363 --> 00:29:52,023
Nobody's purple!
377
00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:55,618
Periwinkle!
378
00:29:55,786 --> 00:29:58,738
You're now the world's smallest minority.
379
00:29:58,829 --> 00:30:01,582
How am I supposed to get a job
looking like this?
380
00:30:01,665 --> 00:30:03,458
-You know how to play drums?
-No.
381
00:30:03,543 --> 00:30:05,204
Perfect! You want a job?
382
00:30:09,089 --> 00:30:14,000
I'm doing a musical performance.
You can sit in for my drummer. He's dead.
383
00:30:14,135 --> 00:30:15,547
Well, sure.
384
00:30:15,637 --> 00:30:17,380
What? He's dead?
385
00:30:17,472 --> 00:30:19,299
Actually, it's a very funny story.
386
00:30:19,391 --> 00:30:23,140
There's a crack dealer in our building
and my drummer called him--
387
00:30:24,938 --> 00:30:29,480
Slit his throat so badly that his own mom
couldn't identify him at the morgue.
388
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:31,977
I'll miss that guy.
389
00:30:32,068 --> 00:30:33,611
Is it a deal?
390
00:30:34,989 --> 00:30:37,777
Excellent. Here. You can put these up.
391
00:30:39,284 --> 00:30:42,202
That's a cool name for a band.
392
00:30:57,176 --> 00:30:58,339
Shit.
393
00:31:02,015 --> 00:31:03,474
-Hi.
-Hi.
394
00:31:03,849 --> 00:31:05,309
It's a band.
395
00:31:05,643 --> 00:31:06,924
What is?
396
00:31:07,937 --> 00:31:09,052
This.
397
00:31:10,983 --> 00:31:12,440
That's nice.
398
00:31:14,275 --> 00:31:16,268
I'm the drummer.
399
00:31:16,569 --> 00:31:18,066
We kick ass.
400
00:31:18,322 --> 00:31:20,030
I guess you must.
401
00:31:22,576 --> 00:31:24,368
What are those for?
402
00:31:24,829 --> 00:31:27,319
It's a community garden.
403
00:31:27,539 --> 00:31:31,917
We'll plant flowers and have a playground
for kids, vegetables for families.
404
00:31:33,171 --> 00:31:34,416
Cool.
405
00:31:34,506 --> 00:31:38,751
Yeah, but the lot is totally bare of soil.
We'll need fertilizer.
406
00:31:39,175 --> 00:31:41,417
-Fertilizer?
-Yeah, a lot of it.
407
00:31:41,511 --> 00:31:44,215
And then I saw your sign. I thought...
408
00:31:44,305 --> 00:31:46,594
that is exactly what we need.
409
00:31:49,519 --> 00:31:51,725
Well, maybe I can help out.
410
00:31:52,522 --> 00:31:54,430
Wonderful. I'm Lily.
411
00:31:55,857 --> 00:31:57,056
I'm Joe.
412
00:32:15,002 --> 00:32:19,249
Dear Lily, it was great to meet you.
I'm into gardening, too.
413
00:32:19,423 --> 00:32:23,372
I can plant trees,
weed flowers, dig bulbs....
414
00:32:23,468 --> 00:32:26,836
Boobs, Joe, not bulbs!
Tell her you dig her boobs!
415
00:32:26,929 --> 00:32:28,921
Dames like compliments!
416
00:32:30,725 --> 00:32:35,302
Nothing like the sight of a woman with
a sack of grubs hanging off her abdomen.
417
00:32:35,395 --> 00:32:38,350
Can't you see
I'm trying to have some privacy?
418
00:32:39,482 --> 00:32:42,981
Hey, Joe, what's this idea
you people keep kicking about "privacy"?
419
00:32:43,068 --> 00:32:45,642
Explain it to us. We don't get it.
420
00:32:46,154 --> 00:32:48,612
People need to be alone sometimes.
421
00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:51,819
That's a false philosophic concept.
422
00:32:52,119 --> 00:32:54,954
-You are never alone.
-Not in New York City.
423
00:32:55,039 --> 00:32:58,788
Us roaches see everything you do.
So what? We're all friends here.
424
00:32:58,877 --> 00:33:00,702
Okay. Fine. Shut up.
425
00:33:01,420 --> 00:33:02,665
Oh, I like that.
426
00:33:02,755 --> 00:33:04,832
-"Shut up," he says.
-Shut up yourself.
427
00:33:04,924 --> 00:33:07,593
-No manners, this guy.
-Who needs you?
428
00:33:07,801 --> 00:33:10,339
-So long, Romeo.
-I bet she's a dog.
429
00:33:18,645 --> 00:33:21,480
Dear Lily, I want to help your garden.
430
00:33:21,648 --> 00:33:25,692
That's "plow your garden," Joe.
Tell her you want to plow her.
431
00:33:31,657 --> 00:33:33,566
I said shut up already!
432
00:33:33,658 --> 00:33:34,857
Come on, Joe!
433
00:33:34,952 --> 00:33:37,656
Dames secretly like it
when you give them shit.
434
00:33:37,746 --> 00:33:40,663
We need fertilizer. Lots ofit.
435
00:33:44,836 --> 00:33:46,035
What are you doing?
436
00:33:46,130 --> 00:33:49,214
Giving you a neck rub.
You seem a little tense.
437
00:33:49,341 --> 00:33:51,748
-Okay, okay! We're gone!
-Chill out.
438
00:34:28,420 --> 00:34:29,535
Wait.
439
00:34:29,962 --> 00:34:31,422
Hey, get out!
440
00:35:39,571 --> 00:35:43,320
You've got to be more careful
with those enthusiastic greetings.
441
00:35:43,408 --> 00:35:45,031
I'm an old man.
442
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:46,694
Oh, Daddy.
443
00:35:47,786 --> 00:35:52,116
I got a call from your job supervisor
the other day.
444
00:35:52,875 --> 00:35:57,288
He told me that you're spending
a lot of time in that little atrium of yours.
445
00:35:57,379 --> 00:35:59,254
But I must insist....
446
00:36:02,759 --> 00:36:05,466
Tell me where you got those earrings.
447
00:36:06,931 --> 00:36:08,046
Saks.
448
00:36:08,349 --> 00:36:11,930
The atrium is just a dry run
for my first big project.
449
00:36:12,227 --> 00:36:15,761
What? I'm sorry, a project? What project?
450
00:36:15,855 --> 00:36:18,772
I'm starting a community garden
in the East Village.
451
00:36:18,857 --> 00:36:20,935
That's nice. Whereabouts?
452
00:36:21,153 --> 00:36:24,356
East 8th Street in Avenue B.
In your old neighborhood.
453
00:36:24,448 --> 00:36:26,439
Isn't this great, Daddy?
454
00:36:26,532 --> 00:36:27,730
Pumpkin...
455
00:36:27,825 --> 00:36:30,825
I'm building a federal prison on that site.
456
00:36:32,411 --> 00:36:35,367
A prison?
In the middle of the East Village?
457
00:36:35,791 --> 00:36:39,740
Why not? With all the crime and drugs,
it's already a prison.
458
00:36:42,422 --> 00:36:45,257
Not until my 30-day
gardening permit expires.
459
00:36:45,341 --> 00:36:49,174
And by that time,
I'll have the whole East Village behind me.
460
00:36:49,263 --> 00:36:51,421
Now, if you'll excuse me...
461
00:36:52,808 --> 00:36:54,680
I have some mulching to do.
462
00:37:10,616 --> 00:37:12,524
Hey, what's that smell?
463
00:37:12,617 --> 00:37:14,860
-It's odoriferous.
-It's "splendoriferous."
464
00:37:14,953 --> 00:37:19,247
-Joe, you are a prince among men.
-Always thinking of your buddies.
465
00:37:21,001 --> 00:37:22,080
Letter for Ralph.
466
00:37:22,169 --> 00:37:24,244
-Mail call!
-Anything for me?
467
00:37:24,545 --> 00:37:27,001
-Letter for Rodney.
-A postcard from Uncle Sid.
468
00:37:27,089 --> 00:37:28,418
How is Tampa?
469
00:37:28,591 --> 00:37:30,050
Garbage magazine?
470
00:37:30,135 --> 00:37:32,542
-Thanks a bunch, Joe!
-My sex toy arrived yet?
471
00:37:32,637 --> 00:37:34,428
Junk mail, junk mail.
472
00:37:34,513 --> 00:37:36,175
Hey, one for me.
473
00:37:36,266 --> 00:37:37,927
-It's from Mom.
-No kidding.
474
00:37:38,018 --> 00:37:40,424
-How is the old bag?
-Be respectful.
475
00:37:40,519 --> 00:37:42,427
Joe knows I'm kidding!
476
00:37:43,772 --> 00:37:47,605
"Dear Joe, got you a job interview
with P.I. Smith & Sons.
477
00:37:47,694 --> 00:37:50,266
"The boss is
my old high school classmate."
478
00:37:50,362 --> 00:37:54,360
-P.I. Smith & Sons? Great company.
-You've heard of them?
479
00:37:54,449 --> 00:37:56,737
They're the biggest manufacturer
in New York.
480
00:37:56,825 --> 00:37:58,284
What do they make?
481
00:38:00,455 --> 00:38:05,032
When I was about your age,
I woke up one morning and said to myself:
482
00:38:05,126 --> 00:38:06,786
"Urinal cake.
483
00:38:06,878 --> 00:38:08,621
"That's the future."
484
00:38:09,463 --> 00:38:10,626
So...
485
00:38:11,048 --> 00:38:14,214
I decided to aim
for men's room manufacturing.
486
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:19,551
Now I'm the richest man
in the urinal sanitation industry.
487
00:38:21,184 --> 00:38:24,302
Twenty million men
piss on my name everyday.
488
00:38:25,728 --> 00:38:27,104
That's great, sir.
489
00:38:27,188 --> 00:38:29,228
So, you're an lowa boy, like me.
490
00:38:29,316 --> 00:38:31,854
Yes, sir. Went to Murchison High School.
491
00:38:31,943 --> 00:38:33,734
Good old Murchison.
492
00:38:33,945 --> 00:38:35,523
"Go, Bullfrogs! "
493
00:38:37,657 --> 00:38:41,701
My mom could do that cheer really well.
She was a varsity cheerleader.
494
00:38:41,785 --> 00:38:43,328
I remember.
495
00:38:43,830 --> 00:38:46,782
Your mom was the hottest tomato
in school.
496
00:38:51,879 --> 00:38:55,662
Does your mom still wear her hair
in that sexy way?
497
00:38:58,552 --> 00:39:01,922
Does mischief still sparkle in her eye...
498
00:39:03,097 --> 00:39:04,508
that minx?
499
00:39:05,976 --> 00:39:09,973
Mommy still got that saucy swing
to her hips?
500
00:39:13,065 --> 00:39:15,189
Did Mommy ever give you...
501
00:39:15,569 --> 00:39:17,062
a sponge bath?
502
00:39:19,488 --> 00:39:22,822
Welcome to the research department
for P.I. Smith & Sons.
503
00:39:22,908 --> 00:39:26,859
You will play an essential role
in our quest for the perfect urinal cake:
504
00:39:26,955 --> 00:39:28,697
Used product retrieval.
505
00:39:28,789 --> 00:39:32,370
Your first assignment, retrieve
all used product from the restrooms...
506
00:39:32,458 --> 00:39:35,661
at 58 East 161st Street, the Bronx.
507
00:39:35,753 --> 00:39:38,873
Deliver them to the research department
for testing.
508
00:39:39,173 --> 00:39:41,844
58 East 161st Street.
509
00:39:42,552 --> 00:39:45,553
58 East 161st....
510
00:39:56,107 --> 00:39:57,517
Joe's here!
511
00:39:58,317 --> 00:40:00,392
Let him watch. He's okay.
512
00:40:01,236 --> 00:40:02,315
What's this?
513
00:40:02,404 --> 00:40:05,358
Channel R.
The roach public access channel.
514
00:40:06,033 --> 00:40:07,989
You roaches have your own channel?
515
00:40:08,076 --> 00:40:09,404
Shut up!
516
00:40:16,752 --> 00:40:20,166
Are you ready
for something itsy-bitsy, baby?
517
00:40:21,798 --> 00:40:24,918
Come and get it, you greasy little tick.
518
00:40:25,426 --> 00:40:28,344
Oh, my God! I'm going to pupate!
519
00:40:30,639 --> 00:40:32,383
You so fine, baby.
520
00:40:32,767 --> 00:40:35,339
Bloats up your crop, don't it, Joe?
521
00:40:48,823 --> 00:40:50,198
Hey, Joe!
522
00:40:51,159 --> 00:40:54,326
-What is it now?
-You seem a little down.
523
00:40:54,413 --> 00:40:55,906
Are you okay?
524
00:40:56,373 --> 00:40:57,653
Just great.
525
00:40:57,791 --> 00:40:59,996
I'm lonely, my job sucks...
526
00:41:00,334 --> 00:41:03,666
and I'm in love with a girl
who's got a boyfriend.
527
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,493
My life has totally turned to shit.
528
00:41:06,756 --> 00:41:08,999
Funny thing about shit, Joe.
529
00:41:09,302 --> 00:41:12,256
-Good stuff grows out of it.
-Yeah, right.
530
00:41:12,764 --> 00:41:16,178
You don't believe me?
Check out that bag in the corner.
531
00:41:51,967 --> 00:41:54,540
Where do you want this stupid bush?
532
00:41:55,930 --> 00:41:57,636
Right over there.
533
00:41:58,055 --> 00:42:00,013
Isn't this great, Blank?
534
00:42:01,016 --> 00:42:02,345
This is not my thing.
535
00:42:02,435 --> 00:42:04,557
Why did I say yes to this?
536
00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:09,222
For you.
537
00:42:10,110 --> 00:42:12,149
Elephicalia vermilius?
538
00:42:13,070 --> 00:42:15,277
I did my senior thesis on this flower.
539
00:42:15,364 --> 00:42:18,318
It's only found
in Sri Lankan elephant habitats.
540
00:42:18,409 --> 00:42:20,982
It loves rotting, moist conditions.
541
00:42:26,334 --> 00:42:27,578
You know....
542
00:42:28,460 --> 00:42:30,997
It's a terrific planting for the garden.
543
00:42:32,255 --> 00:42:33,499
Good.
544
00:42:33,714 --> 00:42:34,877
Thanks.
545
00:42:37,094 --> 00:42:38,836
What's "P.I.S. & S?"
546
00:42:41,013 --> 00:42:43,765
It's the bank I work for.
547
00:42:45,351 --> 00:42:48,850
"Prudential lnvestment Stocks
and Security Savings...."
548
00:42:50,899 --> 00:42:53,224
I thought you played in a band.
549
00:42:53,736 --> 00:42:54,814
I do.
550
00:42:55,403 --> 00:42:56,564
But...
551
00:42:57,571 --> 00:43:00,061
banking is kind of like my trade.
552
00:43:00,198 --> 00:43:02,820
I'm sort of a rock-and-roll banker.
553
00:43:03,952 --> 00:43:06,278
You wear these overalls to work?
554
00:43:09,959 --> 00:43:11,368
What's this?
555
00:43:14,044 --> 00:43:17,710
Those are super-mulching pellets.
556
00:43:17,799 --> 00:43:20,123
Great for growing things.
557
00:43:20,217 --> 00:43:23,717
-I've never seen them before.
-It's a new technology.
558
00:43:24,472 --> 00:43:27,044
Could you get some of these
for the garden?
559
00:43:28,392 --> 00:43:30,051
As many as you want!
560
00:43:34,482 --> 00:43:35,891
Thank you.
561
00:43:36,608 --> 00:43:38,103
You're great.
562
00:43:40,237 --> 00:43:43,320
On one condition:
You come see my band tomorrow night.
563
00:43:43,405 --> 00:43:45,528
I can put you on the list.
564
00:43:47,368 --> 00:43:48,911
I don't know.
565
00:43:49,580 --> 00:43:50,907
Come on.
566
00:43:55,125 --> 00:43:57,284
Can't resist a man in a uniform.
567
00:44:04,175 --> 00:44:06,464
Thank you for tuning into Alternative Life.
568
00:44:06,552 --> 00:44:09,126
New York's only truly underground forum.
569
00:44:09,222 --> 00:44:10,882
We continue last week's discussion:
570
00:44:10,974 --> 00:44:14,093
"How can we promote better
understanding between species?"
571
00:44:14,185 --> 00:44:16,178
Lay off the rat jokes!
572
00:44:16,271 --> 00:44:19,272
How many rats does it take
to screw in a light bulb?
573
00:44:19,358 --> 00:44:21,599
How'd you like a punch in the beak,
wise guy?
574
00:44:21,693 --> 00:44:23,520
Lay off the bird, sewer breath!
575
00:44:23,612 --> 00:44:25,485
Go gnaw some nuts!
576
00:44:25,655 --> 00:44:27,362
Can 't we all just get along?
577
00:44:27,447 --> 00:44:28,527
No!
578
00:44:34,121 --> 00:44:35,200
Now, guys--
579
00:44:35,289 --> 00:44:37,697
-Out of the way.
-We're watching Charlie Roach.
580
00:44:37,792 --> 00:44:39,499
I've got a date tonight.
581
00:44:40,711 --> 00:44:42,168
Is she cute?
582
00:44:42,253 --> 00:44:44,710
-About time, Joey!
-Porkola time, buddy.
583
00:44:44,799 --> 00:44:47,289
-So I want you to stay out of sight.
-Who, us?
584
00:44:47,384 --> 00:44:49,754
-Sure, Joey.
-No problem, Joe.
585
00:44:49,843 --> 00:44:52,216
-You got the place to yourself.
-We're Gandhi.
586
00:44:52,304 --> 00:44:56,598
I'll forget every horrible thing you've ever
done to me if you disappear tonight.
587
00:44:56,851 --> 00:44:58,927
-Just disappear.
-We're on the same team.
588
00:44:59,020 --> 00:45:00,680
Forget about it.
589
00:45:00,938 --> 00:45:02,481
I mean it.
590
00:45:03,941 --> 00:45:05,222
Thanks, Joe.
591
00:45:05,318 --> 00:45:07,475
Look at that piece of meat.
592
00:45:08,070 --> 00:45:10,313
That is some dope shit, Joe.
593
00:45:10,448 --> 00:45:12,191
Look at that, Joe!
594
00:45:25,627 --> 00:45:28,001
-That hit the spot.
-Complements to the chef.
595
00:45:28,090 --> 00:45:29,632
Joe's first date!
596
00:45:31,217 --> 00:45:33,126
Let's make it special.
597
00:45:33,385 --> 00:45:35,674
-Great idea, Ralph.
-Special, sure.
598
00:45:35,762 --> 00:45:36,924
I'm in favor.
599
00:45:42,854 --> 00:45:46,187
Come on, buddy, that's it.
Let's get him over the curb.
600
00:45:51,277 --> 00:45:52,357
Mr. Smith?
601
00:45:53,406 --> 00:45:55,446
It's a hostile takeover.
602
00:45:57,117 --> 00:46:00,486
Ten minutes ago this company became
a wholly-owned subsidiary...
603
00:46:00,579 --> 00:46:02,701
of Featherstone Feminine Products.
604
00:46:02,789 --> 00:46:06,239
They're going to shut down
the whole urinal cake division!
605
00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:08,161
Don't forget to take this.
606
00:46:08,252 --> 00:46:11,587
This way, gentlemen. Roll it over here.
607
00:46:14,967 --> 00:46:16,959
My whole life's work!
608
00:46:17,177 --> 00:46:18,672
Ruined!
609
00:46:19,180 --> 00:46:20,588
That's right.
610
00:46:20,679 --> 00:46:23,598
The days of trickle-down economics
are over.
611
00:47:16,109 --> 00:47:19,227
Ladies and gentlemen. It's loud, it's bad...
612
00:47:19,319 --> 00:47:21,478
it's Shit!
613
00:47:31,582 --> 00:47:32,993
Easy crowd.
614
00:47:37,379 --> 00:47:39,123
Oh, a new drummer.
615
00:47:41,258 --> 00:47:43,250
Yeah, I hope he's good.
616
00:47:43,384 --> 00:47:44,629
Hit it!
617
00:48:13,872 --> 00:48:15,580
I'm sorry!
618
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:19,291
There won't be any rock-and-roll tonight.
619
00:48:19,461 --> 00:48:21,952
This is all that's left!
620
00:48:27,385 --> 00:48:30,421
This feeble wimped-out death rattle...
621
00:48:30,513 --> 00:48:33,597
is all that remains of the rolling thunder...
622
00:48:33,683 --> 00:48:35,674
of America's heartbeat!
623
00:48:56,706 --> 00:48:58,530
It wasn't that bad.
624
00:48:58,747 --> 00:49:00,242
Yes, it was.
625
00:49:02,335 --> 00:49:05,336
Maybe you should stick to banking,
after all.
626
00:49:06,338 --> 00:49:08,959
I'm not a banker. I'm not a drummer.
627
00:49:09,675 --> 00:49:12,925
I can't even keep a job
collecting urinal cakes.
628
00:49:13,095 --> 00:49:14,423
I'm just...
629
00:49:14,888 --> 00:49:16,002
nothing.
630
00:49:17,183 --> 00:49:19,175
I think you're something.
631
00:49:24,689 --> 00:49:27,975
-Why aren't you with your boyfriend?
-What boyfriend?
632
00:49:28,067 --> 00:49:31,519
The guy I saw you kiss in the garden
a few days ago.
633
00:49:33,656 --> 00:49:36,362
He's probably home kissing my mother.
634
00:49:38,202 --> 00:49:39,662
He's my dad.
635
00:49:45,752 --> 00:49:48,077
The lot is completely planted.
636
00:49:48,169 --> 00:49:51,504
The community is behind it,
the flowers are starting to bloom.
637
00:49:51,591 --> 00:49:53,832
Now I just have to show it to my father...
638
00:49:53,926 --> 00:49:57,044
and show him something good
can come out of the neighborhood...
639
00:49:57,136 --> 00:49:58,547
and it's worth saving.
640
00:49:58,638 --> 00:50:00,382
Do you want to come to my place?
641
00:50:04,185 --> 00:50:05,892
I've got a towel you could use.
642
00:50:29,042 --> 00:50:32,956
Funky towel
Towel's got the funk
643
00:50:33,755 --> 00:50:37,373
Funky towel
Towel's got the funk
644
00:50:43,139 --> 00:50:45,345
Baby, I got the love
645
00:50:45,433 --> 00:50:47,591
Baby, I got the power
646
00:50:47,685 --> 00:50:49,844
Come on, girl, and rock my world
647
00:50:49,938 --> 00:50:52,143
And my funky towel
648
00:51:04,201 --> 00:51:06,323
Baby, got the love
649
00:51:06,411 --> 00:51:08,404
Baby, got the howl
650
00:51:08,746 --> 00:51:10,953
Let's get down to party town
651
00:51:11,041 --> 00:51:13,165
And my funky towel
652
00:51:15,629 --> 00:51:19,459
Thick and funky
Steamin ' up the dance floor
653
00:51:20,424 --> 00:51:23,341
Get on up and shake that thing
654
00:51:25,054 --> 00:51:28,387
Everybody's gettin ' what they ask for
655
00:51:29,684 --> 00:51:32,850
Everybody, everybody, sing
656
00:51:34,270 --> 00:51:37,437
Sing, sing, sing
657
00:51:38,315 --> 00:51:41,271
Welcome to Joey's toilet
658
00:52:07,802 --> 00:52:09,511
-Make yourself at home.
-Thanks.
659
00:52:09,597 --> 00:52:11,174
I've got a towel....
660
00:52:21,149 --> 00:52:22,476
What are you doing?
661
00:52:22,566 --> 00:52:25,318
Having a party, what does it look like?
662
00:52:25,486 --> 00:52:27,645
I'm serious. I want you out of here!
663
00:52:27,739 --> 00:52:29,980
-Joe, my brother!
-Thanks, Joey!
664
00:52:30,074 --> 00:52:32,445
-What say there?
-Bust a move.
665
00:52:33,660 --> 00:52:35,737
Funky towel
666
00:52:35,830 --> 00:52:38,155
Towel's got the funk
667
00:52:39,334 --> 00:52:42,169
Okay, I'm dancing. Now, beat it. Leave.
668
00:52:51,635 --> 00:52:54,721
You just flushed the rhythm section
out to Coney lsland.
669
00:52:54,806 --> 00:52:57,214
So follow them out there. Lily's here.
670
00:52:57,308 --> 00:52:58,506
She is?
671
00:53:03,272 --> 00:53:05,679
My towels are in the laundry.
672
00:53:05,774 --> 00:53:07,434
Oh, that's fine.
673
00:53:27,922 --> 00:53:29,085
So...
674
00:53:29,631 --> 00:53:31,622
do you live here alone?
675
00:53:32,258 --> 00:53:34,417
Yep. Nobody here but us.
676
00:53:39,682 --> 00:53:41,474
Guys, you promised.
677
00:53:42,726 --> 00:53:45,431
Come on, baby, light my fire.
678
00:53:48,106 --> 00:53:50,479
-Up periscope.
-Music, maestro.
679
00:54:00,577 --> 00:54:02,653
How about a smooch, baby?
680
00:54:09,419 --> 00:54:11,292
Your place is so comfy.
681
00:54:12,005 --> 00:54:13,084
Shut up.
682
00:54:14,756 --> 00:54:16,167
I mean...
683
00:54:17,593 --> 00:54:18,755
drink up.
684
00:54:20,554 --> 00:54:22,463
Down the hatch, sweetie.
685
00:54:23,307 --> 00:54:25,880
Here's to life's little surprises.
686
00:54:33,024 --> 00:54:35,777
I think you'll need one of these, Joe.
687
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:41,692
Pretzel nugget?
688
00:54:43,410 --> 00:54:44,986
Bon appetit.
689
00:54:49,374 --> 00:54:50,952
What a lover!
690
00:54:51,084 --> 00:54:52,577
A real Casanova.
691
00:54:53,085 --> 00:54:54,283
Go get her.
692
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:56,713
I beg your pardon?
693
00:54:57,174 --> 00:54:58,667
Feeling better?
694
00:54:59,133 --> 00:55:00,413
Well, I'm...
695
00:55:00,967 --> 00:55:02,675
still a little wet.
696
00:55:07,474 --> 00:55:09,762
-What's going on?
-Don't push.
697
00:55:10,518 --> 00:55:12,725
I'm sorry. I hope you don't catch cold.
698
00:55:12,812 --> 00:55:14,852
-She wants it.
-I smell victory.
699
00:55:15,064 --> 00:55:17,058
At least it wasn't a downpour.
700
00:55:19,653 --> 00:55:21,146
Steady there!
701
00:55:25,449 --> 00:55:27,358
-Steady!
-Don't tip it!
702
00:55:34,792 --> 00:55:36,618
Let me out of here!
703
00:55:40,213 --> 00:55:41,709
No, no! Wait!
704
00:55:42,716 --> 00:55:44,294
Oh, my God!
705
00:55:45,927 --> 00:55:47,552
Lily, come back!
706
00:55:54,435 --> 00:55:56,475
Oh, my God.
707
00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:00,470
My garden.
708
00:56:06,072 --> 00:56:07,696
My father was right.
709
00:56:09,365 --> 00:56:12,070
This place does deserve to be a prison.
710
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:15,861
The East Village sucks!
711
00:56:25,339 --> 00:56:27,416
We're really sorry, man.
712
00:56:27,509 --> 00:56:29,384
-We're sorry.
-We didn't mean it.
713
00:56:29,471 --> 00:56:31,129
Tough break, buddy.
714
00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:32,465
We didn't know.
715
00:56:32,555 --> 00:56:35,128
Beer, Joe? Oh, sorry.
716
00:56:35,224 --> 00:56:37,050
She'll never speak to me again.
717
00:56:37,142 --> 00:56:39,349
Come on. There'll be others, Joe.
718
00:56:39,437 --> 00:56:41,891
I don't want any others. I want Lily.
719
00:56:42,355 --> 00:56:43,519
I want to die.
720
00:56:43,608 --> 00:56:45,315
Look on the bright side.
721
00:56:45,776 --> 00:56:47,520
You always got us.
722
00:56:49,988 --> 00:56:51,364
All right.
723
00:56:51,490 --> 00:56:52,865
That's it.
724
00:56:53,365 --> 00:56:56,614
I'm getting rid of you roaches
once and for all.
725
00:56:57,036 --> 00:56:58,365
Wait. Don't be rash.
726
00:56:58,455 --> 00:57:00,862
I'll kill every last one of you!
727
00:57:00,999 --> 00:57:02,576
We're family!
728
00:57:02,667 --> 00:57:04,825
Well, I guess this means war.
729
00:57:06,962 --> 00:57:08,373
Joe, let's talk.
730
00:57:08,464 --> 00:57:10,955
This is all I have to say to you, Ralph.
731
00:57:12,637 --> 00:57:15,340
-He's got a bomb!
-Run for your lives!
732
00:57:15,888 --> 00:57:17,679
No! Don't do it!
733
00:57:27,775 --> 00:57:30,099
My babies! My babies!
734
00:57:30,193 --> 00:57:32,315
One, two, three, heave!
735
00:57:33,571 --> 00:57:34,567
Heave!
736
00:57:46,750 --> 00:57:49,538
Careful, soldier, don't lose your head.
737
00:57:50,045 --> 00:57:52,536
Oh, Joe's little dolly got hurt.
738
00:57:55,884 --> 00:57:57,462
Red alert!
739
00:58:06,602 --> 00:58:08,678
Armored force, attack!
740
00:58:13,025 --> 00:58:14,436
Let her go!
741
00:58:15,903 --> 00:58:17,563
Timber!
742
00:58:31,460 --> 00:58:33,915
-What the....
-Hello, Joe.
743
00:58:34,003 --> 00:58:35,580
Now can we talk?
744
00:58:36,172 --> 00:58:38,746
-You go first.
-No, you go first.
745
00:58:40,386 --> 00:58:42,259
Goddamn, you little sons of bitches!
746
00:58:42,345 --> 00:58:44,504
Get the hell out of my apartment!
747
00:58:44,598 --> 00:58:46,092
Listen to that.
748
00:58:46,183 --> 00:58:48,553
-Your apartment?
-I believe we were here first.
749
00:58:48,642 --> 00:58:51,929
We'll be here last, too.
We got a long-term lease on this planet.
750
00:58:52,021 --> 00:58:56,896
Roaches will be crawling on the daisy
popping out of the last rotting human.
751
00:58:57,443 --> 00:58:58,854
God, you're disgusting!
752
00:58:58,945 --> 00:59:01,980
Like you humans
are any kind of fucking prize!
753
00:59:02,072 --> 00:59:04,230
What makes you so much better than us?
754
00:59:04,324 --> 00:59:07,741
War, pollution, New Age music!
755
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:10,823
I suppose those things are our fault?
756
00:59:16,712 --> 00:59:18,750
We just want to say two things. First:
757
00:59:18,837 --> 00:59:20,961
We're sorry we ruined your life. Second:
758
00:59:21,049 --> 00:59:22,163
Goodbye.
759
00:59:22,258 --> 00:59:23,753
-Toodles.
-Sayonara.
760
00:59:23,844 --> 00:59:25,669
What do you mean "goodbye"?
761
00:59:25,761 --> 00:59:29,890
-We took a big risk talking to you.
-Since you faked our friendship...
762
00:59:29,975 --> 00:59:32,844
you can't walk off
knowing what you know.
763
00:59:35,020 --> 00:59:36,929
Painful decision, Joe.
764
00:59:37,606 --> 00:59:38,769
Wait!
765
00:59:41,943 --> 00:59:43,982
Here, roachy, roachy.
766
00:59:45,614 --> 00:59:47,191
Going to miss you.
767
00:59:48,157 --> 00:59:49,901
I was kidding.
768
00:59:50,035 --> 00:59:53,155
-Any last words?
-Don't kill me.
769
00:59:53,413 --> 00:59:54,954
Those are the last words?
770
00:59:55,038 --> 00:59:56,948
Ready! Aim!
771
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:06,625
Ralph! Rodney!
772
01:00:07,885 --> 01:00:09,129
Help!
773
01:01:31,799 --> 01:01:33,791
Big deal. Please hold.
774
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:36,586
So what? Please hold.
775
01:01:37,220 --> 01:01:39,675
Don't make me laugh. Please hold.
776
01:01:41,474 --> 01:01:42,968
No, ma'am.
777
01:01:43,059 --> 01:01:46,927
I think you should take the shrapnel out
before you cauterize.
778
01:01:47,022 --> 01:01:49,892
-I don 't think I can do it.
-Please hold.
779
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:53,440
Central Complaint Department.
780
01:01:53,528 --> 01:01:56,196
I'd like to speak to Lily Dougherty.
781
01:01:58,698 --> 01:02:00,359
Lily's not here.
782
01:02:00,910 --> 01:02:02,403
Will she be back soon?
783
01:02:02,493 --> 01:02:04,819
No. She's sick.
784
01:02:04,913 --> 01:02:05,992
Sick?
785
01:02:07,958 --> 01:02:09,866
She's sick of her job.
786
01:02:10,125 --> 01:02:11,833
And she's sick of New York City.
787
01:02:11,918 --> 01:02:15,918
And she's sick of having her stupid
daydreams dashed to pieces.
788
01:02:17,133 --> 01:02:18,710
And what makes her sickest...
789
01:02:18,801 --> 01:02:22,051
is the unspeakably rotten things
some people do to other people...
790
01:02:22,137 --> 01:02:24,260
just when she was beginning to like them!
791
01:02:24,348 --> 01:02:25,842
Lily, is that you?
792
01:02:26,892 --> 01:02:27,970
No.
793
01:02:28,310 --> 01:02:29,687
Lily quit.
794
01:02:29,771 --> 01:02:31,313
Lily, it's Joe!
795
01:02:31,397 --> 01:02:32,477
Lily!
796
01:03:13,896 --> 01:03:15,059
Ralph!
797
01:03:16,982 --> 01:03:18,013
Rodney!
798
01:03:19,901 --> 01:03:22,605
I don't care
if you can hear me or not, Ralph!
799
01:03:22,862 --> 01:03:25,483
But you can keep this goddamn city!
800
01:03:26,031 --> 01:03:28,702
I'm going back to lowa!
801
01:03:29,244 --> 01:03:31,865
Here's a souvenir to take with you.
802
01:03:33,705 --> 01:03:35,497
So long, sucker.
803
01:03:35,791 --> 01:03:37,866
I love the real estate business.
804
01:03:46,301 --> 01:03:48,340
The place looks great.
805
01:03:48,428 --> 01:03:50,219
Sure it does, Ralph. Where's Joe?
806
01:03:50,304 --> 01:03:52,427
Around here someplace, I suppose.
807
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:56,675
Joe!
808
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:00,389
Joe, speak to me!
809
01:04:00,482 --> 01:04:02,060
Who did this to you?
810
01:04:02,151 --> 01:04:06,146
We did, Ralph. We ran out on him
just when he needed us most.
811
01:04:06,986 --> 01:04:09,277
We behaved no better
than a bunch of people.
812
01:04:09,365 --> 01:04:12,569
We got to make it up to him.
Let's find him a new place.
813
01:04:13,494 --> 01:04:15,652
We got to get Lily back, too.
814
01:04:16,580 --> 01:04:19,071
Forget that, I'm a cockroach,
not Santa Claus.
815
01:04:19,166 --> 01:04:23,079
Ralphie, I'm surprised at you.
Does this mean you're giving up?
816
01:04:23,169 --> 01:04:26,454
Give up? Give up?
What are you saying to me?
817
01:04:27,006 --> 01:04:30,008
How come us roaches have been able
to outlast the dinosaurs?
818
01:04:30,093 --> 01:04:32,927
How do we survive poison
and persecution?
819
01:04:33,012 --> 01:04:36,048
How do we keep on crawling
in the face of the world in arms?
820
01:04:36,140 --> 01:04:37,171
How?
821
01:04:37,266 --> 01:04:40,302
I'll tell you how.
Because we never give up!
822
01:04:42,355 --> 01:04:44,181
A true cockroach never gives up!
823
01:04:44,273 --> 01:04:48,057
They can stomp us, they can pop us,
but they'll never ever stop us!
824
01:04:50,278 --> 01:04:55,356
Some day, the great H-bomb will drop,
and we'll have the planet to ourselves!
825
01:04:58,286 --> 01:05:02,498
I don't care if we call in favors from
every roach, rat and pigeon in New York.
826
01:05:02,582 --> 01:05:04,704
We aren't giving up on Joe!
827
01:05:04,791 --> 01:05:07,284
-Great speech, Ralph!
-Truly righteous, brother.
828
01:05:19,765 --> 01:05:21,259
Where's the stapler?
829
01:05:25,104 --> 01:05:28,140
-I need five copies.
-How do you spell "memorandum"?
830
01:05:32,111 --> 01:05:33,309
Boot it up.
831
01:05:34,904 --> 01:05:36,815
Anybody got a 1942 W-440?
832
01:05:57,508 --> 01:05:58,919
Special delivery.
833
01:05:59,593 --> 01:06:01,836
This is giving me hay fever.
834
01:06:03,889 --> 01:06:06,263
Hey, watch the potholes, homes.
835
01:06:12,190 --> 01:06:14,977
Excuse me, sir. Mind if we borrow this?
836
01:06:56,148 --> 01:06:57,429
Tubular!
837
01:06:59,193 --> 01:07:00,355
Wash out!
838
01:07:00,695 --> 01:07:02,854
Sewer surfing
839
01:07:03,365 --> 01:07:05,522
Under-turfing
840
01:07:06,033 --> 01:07:08,321
We get our kicks while we're hanging six
841
01:07:08,410 --> 01:07:10,983
On a sewer surfing holiday
842
01:07:27,259 --> 01:07:29,834
We're surfing, we're sewer surfing
843
01:07:40,941 --> 01:07:43,312
Shoo-shoo
Shooting the tube
844
01:07:43,568 --> 01:07:46,321
We are going to get there
Shooting the tube
845
01:07:46,406 --> 01:07:48,694
Hitting the loo
We're dirtier than you
846
01:07:48,783 --> 01:07:50,858
We are shooting the tube
847
01:08:24,774 --> 01:08:26,932
Are you sure this is the right address?
848
01:08:27,026 --> 01:08:28,142
Yes, Daddy.
849
01:08:28,237 --> 01:08:30,561
"324 1/2 East 8th Street.
850
01:08:30,655 --> 01:08:32,778
"Prison dedication, 9:00 a.m."
851
01:08:33,283 --> 01:08:36,449
Funny, I could have sworn
this was an empty lot.
852
01:09:30,629 --> 01:09:32,289
-Hi, Lily.
-Joe!
853
01:09:32,756 --> 01:09:34,250
What's all this?
854
01:09:34,341 --> 01:09:36,049
I guess it's sort of...
855
01:09:37,176 --> 01:09:38,338
mine.
856
01:09:39,970 --> 01:09:42,047
And I'm giving it to you.
857
01:09:43,808 --> 01:09:45,266
Is it okay?
858
01:09:45,600 --> 01:09:47,843
It's wonderful, but how did you....
859
01:09:47,937 --> 01:09:50,772
My friends helped.
860
01:09:53,149 --> 01:09:54,347
I see.
861
01:09:56,570 --> 01:09:58,444
Lily, you were right.
862
01:09:58,614 --> 01:10:02,113
This park will do more for
the Lower East Side than 1,000 prisons.
863
01:10:02,201 --> 01:10:05,616
My boy, you've done my old neighborhood
a great service.
864
01:10:05,912 --> 01:10:08,201
It was all her idea, Senator.
865
01:10:11,542 --> 01:10:12,657
Come on.
866
01:10:16,256 --> 01:10:17,880
My friends...
867
01:10:18,049 --> 01:10:20,207
this extraordinary garden...
868
01:10:20,426 --> 01:10:23,878
is the first blossom
of this neighborhood's rebirth.
869
01:10:23,972 --> 01:10:25,383
What is this?
870
01:10:28,516 --> 01:10:32,681
Kill that lying,
two-timing Senator Dougherty. Tonight.
871
01:10:33,981 --> 01:10:37,514
Whack his daughter
and that damn kid, too.
872
01:10:38,861 --> 01:10:40,983
See all these people here?
873
01:10:41,488 --> 01:10:43,813
Dead by the end of the week.
874
01:10:46,786 --> 01:10:48,445
And that little girl over there--
875
01:10:48,537 --> 01:10:49,948
Mr. Shirt!
876
01:10:52,665 --> 01:10:55,238
Let me show you a hot new property.
877
01:11:04,426 --> 01:11:08,009
Welcome to Lily Park!
878
01:11:19,607 --> 01:11:21,980
There's an extra toothbrush
in the cupboard.
879
01:11:22,069 --> 01:11:23,563
Oh, really, don't bother.
880
01:11:23,654 --> 01:11:27,188
It's the least I could do.
Your house burned down.
881
01:11:27,990 --> 01:11:29,900
I'll set you up on the couch.
882
01:11:32,995 --> 01:11:35,748
Joe, you're practically inside.
883
01:11:35,831 --> 01:11:36,994
Ralph!
884
01:11:37,083 --> 01:11:39,538
-Little last minute advice.
-Get lost, Ralph!
885
01:11:39,627 --> 01:11:41,666
Look into her eyes and say:
886
01:11:41,754 --> 01:11:44,754
"Baby, I'm going to bop you
till your ears bleed! "
887
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:46,797
Did you need something?
888
01:11:47,384 --> 01:11:48,499
No, thanks.
889
01:11:48,594 --> 01:11:51,927
Play your cards right, Joe,
and this could be our new pad.
890
01:11:52,014 --> 01:11:53,970
"Our new pad"? You little....
891
01:11:54,683 --> 01:11:57,848
We busted ass for you!
What kind of thanks do we get?
892
01:12:00,770 --> 01:12:01,885
Ralph...
893
01:12:02,899 --> 01:12:04,098
thanks.
894
01:12:04,943 --> 01:12:06,602
For everything.
895
01:12:07,111 --> 01:12:11,109
Forget it. Sorry about our little
misunderstanding back there.
896
01:12:11,698 --> 01:12:14,533
Me, too. Now, how about a little privacy?
897
01:12:14,952 --> 01:12:17,657
Take my advice, just grab her by--
898
01:12:27,672 --> 01:12:30,078
Gosh, Lily, you look incredible.
899
01:12:30,591 --> 01:12:33,592
-How about a little help here?
-No. I mean it.
900
01:12:35,680 --> 01:12:38,965
You're the most beautiful girl
I've ever seen in my life.
901
01:12:39,850 --> 01:12:43,599
I bet you say that to all the girls
the minute you get them alone.
902
01:12:44,896 --> 01:12:46,638
We are alone, aren't we?
903
01:12:48,692 --> 01:12:49,973
Last I looked.
904
01:12:50,069 --> 01:12:53,105
Oh, please, let me.
I can make the bed myself.
905
01:12:53,197 --> 01:12:55,983
Really? Have you ever made a bed
in your life?
906
01:12:56,449 --> 01:12:58,157
Sure, watch this.
907
01:13:00,829 --> 01:13:03,581
Swinging pad!
What do you think, Rodney?
908
01:13:04,500 --> 01:13:05,745
Brother Ralph...
909
01:13:05,835 --> 01:13:09,832
I believe that we have finally reached
the promised penthouse!
910
01:13:10,505 --> 01:13:13,174
Brother bugs and sister insects!
911
01:13:13,257 --> 01:13:15,048
Come on with it, Rodney!
912
01:13:15,133 --> 01:13:17,921
Give a shout out to the Great Big Bug.
913
01:13:18,847 --> 01:13:22,428
With his help,
we can turn this antiseptic sanctuary...
914
01:13:22,516 --> 01:13:24,509
into a putrid paradise!
915
01:13:25,519 --> 01:13:28,803
Hold my feeler, Lord
Lord, pull me through
916
01:13:28,896 --> 01:13:30,010
Pull me through
917
01:13:30,105 --> 01:13:34,057
Hold my feeler, Lord
Lord, pull me through
918
01:13:34,612 --> 01:13:39,024
Hold my feeler, Lord
Lord, till I join that golden horde
919
01:13:39,115 --> 01:13:41,108
I'll be hanging
920
01:13:41,951 --> 01:13:43,944
Hanging onto you
921
01:13:49,168 --> 01:13:52,002
Lily, now that we're alone,
I should tell you...
922
01:13:52,086 --> 01:13:54,410
I'm sorry about what happened
at my apartment.
923
01:13:54,504 --> 01:13:56,462
My friends are sorry, too.
924
01:13:56,548 --> 01:13:57,828
Friends?
925
01:13:58,341 --> 01:14:02,006
I never thought I'd say this,
but they're actually kind of sweet.
926
01:14:02,220 --> 01:14:04,012
They must like you a lot.
927
01:14:05,140 --> 01:14:07,014
Not as much as I like you.
928
01:14:10,186 --> 01:14:11,467
Go, Joe!
929
01:14:11,563 --> 01:14:14,682
We've been battered
And we've been scattered
930
01:14:15,066 --> 01:14:17,852
We've been splattered into goo
931
01:14:18,570 --> 01:14:22,021
-But the healer, he took my feeler
-Praise the Lord, hallelujah!
932
01:14:22,115 --> 01:14:24,866
And he really pulled me through
933
01:14:24,951 --> 01:14:29,114
-Oh, he pulled me through
-Oh, that feeler
934
01:14:32,250 --> 01:14:35,950
When I cash my chips and pay the dealer
935
01:14:36,212 --> 01:14:39,378
I'll be holding onto the Lord's feeler, too
936
01:14:40,173 --> 01:14:43,340
Hold my feeler
937
01:14:43,468 --> 01:14:45,507
And my antenna, too
938
01:14:46,555 --> 01:14:50,054
I've been down and I've been trampled
939
01:14:50,142 --> 01:14:53,426
And dug myself down deep in a hole
940
01:14:53,644 --> 01:14:55,304
But I was lifted
941
01:14:55,438 --> 01:14:57,348
By the love of that Great Big Bug
942
01:14:57,441 --> 01:15:00,605
With his feelers 'round my soul
943
01:15:00,900 --> 01:15:02,099
Whoa, Lord
944
01:15:02,194 --> 01:15:04,151
Won 't you hold my feeler?
945
01:15:04,238 --> 01:15:06,907
Hold my feeler and pull me through
946
01:15:06,989 --> 01:15:08,864
I want you to feel my feeler!
947
01:15:08,950 --> 01:15:13,495
My Lord, there 's nothing realer
948
01:15:18,794 --> 01:15:20,538
Joe, that tickles.
949
01:15:22,672 --> 01:15:28,876
Than my ever-loving feeler feeling you
950
01:15:38,479 --> 01:15:41,764
So! So long from Joe's apartment
951
01:15:41,857 --> 01:15:44,940
We're sad to see you go
952
01:15:45,026 --> 01:15:47,564
Thanks for coming, it's been swell
953
01:15:47,653 --> 01:15:50,275
Check back into our motel
954
01:15:50,365 --> 01:15:53,948
Hope you didn 't mind the smell
955
01:15:54,327 --> 01:15:55,952
Joe's apartment
956
01:15:56,038 --> 01:16:02,241
our own sweet home
67482
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