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1
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,450
Right now, there are at
least a dozen holes in the roof.
2
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,330
You've been promising
to fix it for months.
3
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,619
Colonel?
4
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:55,954
Mm-hmm.
5
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:57,456
Colonel.
6
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:58,790
What are you doing?
7
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,670
I was asking about a new roof.
8
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,127
I'll look into it. Dismissed.
9
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:05,263
Hey...
10
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:07,799
I didn't know you
went in for astrology.
11
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,968
I've heard Hitler's
a big believer.
12
00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:12,971
Mm-hmm, and Goering and Himmler.
13
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:14,305
And now Klink.
14
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,558
Germany's men of destiny. Hmm.
15
00:01:16,627 --> 00:01:18,227
You all take from
the same fellow, sir?
16
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,507
Oh, Hogan... Be cheaper;
you get a group rate.
17
00:01:20,531 --> 00:01:23,465
Hey, form a carpool,
too, save on gas.
18
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:26,485
Colonel Hogan, I will not stand
19
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:29,073
for any of your insubordination.
20
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,824
And stop looking at my chart!
21
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,159
I didn't mean to pry, sir.
22
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,495
I was just trying to see if
there are any roof repairs
23
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:37,496
in your future.
24
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:38,997
Out!
25
00:01:40,451 --> 00:01:41,731
Very cranky.
26
00:01:41,785 --> 00:01:44,063
And his horoscope said he
was going to have a good week.
27
00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:46,254
Well, he takes
that very seriously.
28
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,635
Every night, he
goes to his astrologer.
29
00:01:48,659 --> 00:01:51,760
He told him that he might
be promoted to general.
30
00:01:51,829 --> 00:01:53,595
Klink a general?
31
00:01:53,664 --> 00:01:55,975
Sure, and then there's the
one about the three bears.
32
00:01:55,999 --> 00:01:57,599
Oh, Colonel Klink
really believes
33
00:01:57,668 --> 00:01:59,601
in astrologers
and fortune-tellers.
34
00:01:59,670 --> 00:02:02,103
He said that some
people are gifted,
35
00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:03,605
that they have a sixth sense.
36
00:02:03,674 --> 00:02:04,984
Yeah, I know how he feels.
37
00:02:05,008 --> 00:02:06,853
I used to be that way
about fortune cookies,
38
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,655
right up till my
fourth birthday.
39
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,143
Captain Gruber, third engineers.
40
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:27,145
Sergeant Shriner, my aide.
41
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:28,493
Welcome to Stalag 13.
42
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:29,981
Well, gentlemen...
43
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,983
Hogan... Huh?
44
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,696
This is a restricted area.
45
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,031
I'm sorry, Colonel. New men.
46
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,033
Just trying to be friendly.
Hi. Colonel Hogan.
47
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,701
Hogan! Sorry, sir.
48
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:41,025
Colonel Hogan. Hi.
49
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:46,598
What's inside the
half-track, Colonel?
50
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,533
I wonder why
they're covering it up.
51
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,497
Must be something real special.
52
00:02:50,521 --> 00:02:51,920
Yeah, we'd better check it out.
53
00:02:51,988 --> 00:02:52,921
How?
54
00:02:52,989 --> 00:02:54,589
I thought of the idea.
55
00:02:54,658 --> 00:02:57,259
Was hoping you
guys have the answer.
56
00:03:11,007 --> 00:03:12,274
Hike!
57
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,162
Get up!
58
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:20,159
All right, here we
go, here we go, fellas.
59
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:22,161
All right, Carter, we'll
keep Schultz busy.
60
00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:24,331
Get underneath that tarp
and find out what you can.
61
00:03:24,355 --> 00:03:26,554
Work fast. Here we go.
62
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,642
Hike! Hike!
63
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,193
Hey, Schultz!
64
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,150
Hey.
65
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,362
Yeah, yeah. Hey, Schultz.
66
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,318
Yeah. How you doing
67
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,598
with the new barmaid in town?
68
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:42,987
Oh, Colonel Hogan,
69
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,257
that woman is a hunk
of wiener schnitzel,
70
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:47,091
but she's running
around with a corporal.
71
00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:49,761
He has a few medals,
and she is impressed.
72
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,831
Eh, choco... No, no, no,
no, not when I'm on duty.
73
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,417
Oh, Colonel Hogan, you
should see that woman.
74
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,420
Oh, I would give a month's
pay just for one date,
75
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,873
but... she loves heroes.
76
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:04,192
Mm. SCHULTZ: American chocolate?
77
00:04:04,261 --> 00:04:05,209
Mm.
78
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,929
Maybe one little bite.
79
00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:12,768
Colonel Hogan, your
football looks like fun.
80
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,436
And that little Carter...
81
00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:19,408
You should see him
run... He was flying by me...
82
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,992
Where's Carter?
83
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,839
Well, he's looking
for the ball, Schultz.
84
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,674
Schultz?
85
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,965
Go get him.
86
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:36,853
Colonel Hogan?
87
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,517
Yeah? What is that?
88
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:39,978
Yeah, well, it must be the wind.
89
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,479
Very lumpy wind.
90
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:43,648
Yeah. Oh, come on, you're
getting jumpy, Schultz.
91
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,083
That is the wind.
92
00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:47,752
Perhaps the half-track
is haunted, huh?
93
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:48,753
Could be.
94
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:49,966
"Could be."
95
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,923
Here, hold this.
96
00:05:01,986 --> 00:05:05,420
Carter! Carter!
97
00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:08,807
Carter?
98
00:05:08,859 --> 00:05:10,925
Carter?
99
00:05:10,994 --> 00:05:11,926
What?
100
00:05:11,995 --> 00:05:14,429
Come ou...
101
00:05:14,498 --> 00:05:15,564
How could it be?
102
00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:16,792
He went...
103
00:05:16,834 --> 00:05:19,267
Uh, yeah, I think it
is haunted, Schultz.
104
00:05:19,336 --> 00:05:21,280
Okay, fellas, back
to the football game.
105
00:05:21,304 --> 00:05:22,649
Bye, Schultz. See you, Schultz.
106
00:05:22,673 --> 00:05:24,272
Schultz.
107
00:05:26,710 --> 00:05:27,942
See anything?
108
00:05:28,011 --> 00:05:29,755
Well, there's some sort
of antenna on the top,
109
00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:31,591
and the control panel's
in the side hatch.
110
00:05:31,615 --> 00:05:32,825
It looks awfully complicated.
111
00:05:32,849 --> 00:05:34,148
Could you describe it to London?
112
00:05:34,218 --> 00:05:36,162
Yeah, it's got a lot
of dials and switches.
113
00:05:36,186 --> 00:05:37,664
What kind of dials and switches?
114
00:05:37,688 --> 00:05:39,165
I don't know,
dials and switches.
115
00:05:39,189 --> 00:05:41,000
You know, you see
one, you've seen 'em all?
116
00:05:41,024 --> 00:05:42,156
Well, what'd it say on 'em?
117
00:05:42,226 --> 00:05:43,936
Some German words and things.
118
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,227
You know, you're a bloody
119
00:05:45,295 --> 00:05:46,772
fountain of
information, you are.
120
00:05:46,796 --> 00:05:48,608
Well, I couldn't
remember everything.
121
00:05:48,632 --> 00:05:50,276
Nobody could;
there's too many dials.
122
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,611
You-you could sit out there
123
00:05:51,635 --> 00:05:53,279
for hours making diagrams.
124
00:05:53,303 --> 00:05:55,023
We won't have to...
LeBeau, get your camera.
125
00:05:55,071 --> 00:05:56,238
Take pictures?
126
00:05:56,306 --> 00:05:58,284
Schultz is not going
to let us go near that...
127
00:05:58,308 --> 00:06:00,908
Yes, he will, if
we ask him nicely.
128
00:06:00,977 --> 00:06:04,112
Mush, mush.
129
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,842
You want to take
a picture of me?
130
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,598
Uh-huh. Oh, gosh.
131
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:10,936
Wait a minute. No
cameras allowed in camp.
132
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,149
You sold it to us, Schultz.
133
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,818
The silk stockings, remember?
134
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:15,919
What do you say, Schultz?
135
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,320
Yeah, come on,
we want to have it
136
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,822
to show to our kids someday.
137
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:22,797
Ah. Um, how 'bout, uh, this?
138
00:06:22,865 --> 00:06:25,300
Not very artistic. What
do you think, fellas?
139
00:06:25,369 --> 00:06:26,534
Nah. No.
140
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,731
No, sir, it's too
ordinary, isn't it?
141
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:32,740
Wait a minute.
How 'bout, uh, this?
142
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,359
It's not quite right, Schultz.
143
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:35,627
What we need is a picture
144
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:38,079
that captures the carefree,
devil-may-care look.
145
00:06:41,885 --> 00:06:44,219
Yeah, but yet
enables one to sense
146
00:06:44,288 --> 00:06:47,489
that underneath is Sergeant
Schultz, super-soldier.
147
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,454
You know what it
is, sir? It's the setting.
148
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,745
It's too mundane.
149
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:56,480
What if he was
in the half-track?
150
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:57,550
In the half-track.
151
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:58,995
Yeah, it'd look
like an action shot.
152
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,463
No, no, wait a minute!
153
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,632
Hold it, hold it, Colonel
Hogan, no, no, no, no, no!
154
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,922
Please, Colonel Hogan!
155
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,969
Colonel Hogan,
no, no, no, no, no!
156
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,592
This is top secret!
157
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:08,905
That's even better, Schultz.
158
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,707
What could be better
than Sergeant Schultz
159
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,775
in front of Germany's
newest secret weapon, huh?
160
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,378
Boy, that'd really
impress that little barmaid.
161
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:18,436
More than any medal.
162
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,272
All right. Make it fast.
163
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,318
It'll only take a second.
164
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:25,076
Okay, okay, keep
your face this way.
165
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,211
Up, up.
166
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,657
Oh, how can one
man have so much?
167
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,449
Okay. Good.
168
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,063
Look at the birdie. Look at the
birdie. This-this-this profile is...
169
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,487
No, no, no, no,
no, please, please.
170
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,939
Oh, that profile's
171
00:07:38,008 --> 00:07:39,340
dynamite!
172
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:41,526
Beautiful.
173
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:43,295
One more, buddy,
and we'll be done.
174
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:44,796
Oh, boy.
175
00:07:44,848 --> 00:07:48,600
Oh, that barmaid will crumble!
176
00:07:49,953 --> 00:07:52,687
Oh, I can hardly wait
to see those pictures.
177
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:55,573
Neither can I,
Schultz, neither can I.
178
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,792
Another leak, and
right over my bed.
179
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,710
Why don't you complain
to the management?
180
00:08:15,779 --> 00:08:17,089
Give them an ultimatum.
181
00:08:17,113 --> 00:08:18,591
Get the bellboys, get your bags,
182
00:08:18,615 --> 00:08:20,443
and tell him you're
checking out.
183
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,567
I'm tired of waiting for Klink.
184
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,902
I'll fix the rotten
holes myself.
185
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,094
Colonel?
186
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,250
Yeah?
187
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,597
Photographs did the job,
and London's cracking.
188
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:42,887
Good.
189
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,523
Germany's got something
new in that half-track:
190
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:46,992
a magnetic deviator.
191
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,237
It's used to throw off
192
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,542
the aiming mechanism
on our radar.
193
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,197
They want us to destroy it?
194
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:55,367
They want us to send it to them.
195
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:58,536
Is that all? Ha!
196
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,372
If they can look one over,
197
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,751
they'll be able to figure
a way to neutralize it.
198
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:04,376
How are we supposed to get it?
199
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,711
Carry it across the compound
right out in the open?
200
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:08,546
That's suicide, Colonel.
201
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,426
Klink's off to see
his astrologer,
202
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:13,218
while I have to
go and fix the roof.
203
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:16,888
Tomorrow, we may be
dead, but at least we'll be dry.
204
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,159
Colonel, what are
we going to do?
205
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,589
We got to figure a way
206
00:09:22,613 --> 00:09:25,547
to get that gadget
out of the half-track.
207
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:30,501
Thank you, Carter.
208
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,320
I needed that.
209
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,745
It's LeBeau!
210
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,793
Are you okay?
211
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,294
Did you see that
bolt of lightning?
212
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,518
Missed me by that much.
213
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:49,766
You sure you're
all right, Louis?
214
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,923
Yes, but if it came
an inch closer,
215
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,070
I would have my ears
pierced... The hard way.
216
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,259
That bloody Klink.
217
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,306
He should be here
seeing our roof being fixed
218
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,165
instead of fleeing off having
his flaming fortune told.
219
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,432
Bleeding idiot.
220
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,935
I'd like to tell his
bloody fortune for him.
221
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,937
You just might
be able to do that.
222
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,606
Huh? Tell his fortune for him.
223
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:10,486
LeBeau, I think that
lightning did hit you.
224
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,110
But it didn't. It
missed me by that...
225
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,444
It hit you!
226
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,613
The lightning hit you, LeBeau,
227
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:18,199
and a strange
thing has happened.
228
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:21,936
Your Basque blood has
mysteriously awakened.
229
00:10:22,004 --> 00:10:23,587
You're now psychic.
230
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,424
Boy.
231
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:31,011
A gypsy who sees all:
past, present and future.
232
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,464
What are you talking about?
233
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,132
Klink believes
in fortune-tellers.
234
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:38,018
You're going to win his
complete confidence.
235
00:10:39,122 --> 00:10:40,337
I don't get it.
236
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,640
We've got to get Klink
to move his guards
237
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:45,243
so we can get that gadget
out of the half-track, right?
238
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:49,747
Now, if Klink believes our
little gypsy knows everything,
239
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,583
he'll do whatever our
little gypsy tells him.
240
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,631
And our little gypsy's going
to tell him to move the guard.
241
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,755
Uh-huh. Well, one
problem, Colonel:
242
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,091
how do I make him
believe I know everything?
243
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,394
But you will know everything.
244
00:11:19,162 --> 00:11:21,596
Let's see what we have here.
245
00:11:25,669 --> 00:11:29,103
Application for a furlough here.
246
00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:30,605
Letter from his mother.
247
00:11:30,674 --> 00:11:32,752
Another one from his
mother, and another one.
248
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,709
"Dearest Wilhelm, how are you?
249
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,778
"My back is giving
me a little trouble,
250
00:11:36,846 --> 00:11:40,782
"and your brother Wolfgang
is out of work again.
251
00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:42,450
"In fact, so's the
whole factory.
252
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:44,385
"They think they
were hit by bombs,
253
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:48,356
"but your brother was
mixing chemicals in the cellar.
254
00:11:48,425 --> 00:11:50,575
Hope to hear from
you soon. Love, Mom."
255
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:51,893
Army directives.
256
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,751
The lost cigars are here.
257
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,086
Right.
258
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,755
See how easy it
is to be psychic?
259
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:08,092
Tomorrow, we start
Operation Gypsy.
260
00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:19,003
Vier, funf, sechs,
sieben, acht, neun, zehn.
261
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,005
Uh...
262
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:31,966
Report!
263
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,552
Report!
264
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,831
Schultz.
265
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,455
Yeah, yeah. Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.
266
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:38,667
What's going on here?
267
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:39,891
Sorry, Herr Kommandant.
268
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:41,776
All present and accounted for.
269
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,489
Then what's the difficult...?
270
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,646
There's no difficulty.
271
00:12:50,086 --> 00:12:52,197
Hogan, would you please
tell Rudolf Valentino here
272
00:12:52,221 --> 00:12:53,365
he's out of uniform?
273
00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:54,489
Crazy thing, Colonel.
274
00:12:54,557 --> 00:12:56,223
He's been that way
ever since last night.
275
00:12:56,292 --> 00:12:58,726
He was up fixing the roof,
got hit by a bolt of lightning.
276
00:12:58,795 --> 00:12:59,994
Lightning?
277
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,690
Seems to have stirred
something in him.
278
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:02,991
He's Basque, you know.
279
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:05,161
Great-grandfather was
a full-blooded gypsy.
280
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,584
He seems to have reverted.
281
00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:08,586
And he thinks he's a gypsy?
282
00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:10,549
Isn't that something?
283
00:13:10,573 --> 00:13:12,251
And not just your
average, everyday gypsy.
284
00:13:12,275 --> 00:13:14,776
He thinks he's psychic.
285
00:13:14,844 --> 00:13:16,894
Uh, sir, there might
be something to it.
286
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,358
After all, he did tell me where
to find me ring, didn't he?
287
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:21,360
We lost it about
three months ago, sir.
288
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,584
We tore the camp
upside down looking for it.
289
00:13:23,653 --> 00:13:25,136
I forgot all about it.
290
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,284
And then, last night,
voilà, LeBeau says,
291
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,924
"Look behind the tool shed,"
he said, and sure enough.
292
00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:33,327
Hmm. It's meaningless...
He could have put it there.
293
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,595
Exactly what I said.
294
00:13:34,664 --> 00:13:35,975
How's your mother's back?
295
00:13:35,999 --> 00:13:37,209
Not too good.
296
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,344
Now, Newkirk,
to be truly psyc...
297
00:13:39,368 --> 00:13:40,802
What did you say?
298
00:13:40,871 --> 00:13:43,054
I was asking about
your mother's back.
299
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,367
My mother? You know...
300
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,457
She's depressed,
but she'll feel better
301
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,259
when your brother
gets another job.
302
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,095
My brother? You know about him?
303
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,246
He's raving again, sir.
304
00:13:52,315 --> 00:13:54,009
He's been doing
that ever since...
305
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,161
And your visit home next
month will cheer her up.
306
00:13:56,185 --> 00:13:57,262
That's incredible, Hogan.
307
00:13:57,286 --> 00:13:58,731
He knows about my furlough,
308
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,365
and I haven't even
filed a request yet.
309
00:14:00,389 --> 00:14:01,488
Come on, Colonel.
310
00:14:01,558 --> 00:14:03,238
You're not gonna pay
any attention to that.
311
00:14:03,292 --> 00:14:04,937
No, no, no, no, there's
something to this.
312
00:14:04,961 --> 00:14:07,072
He knows about my
brother, my mother,
313
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,508
and a furlough I was
just thinking about.
314
00:14:09,532 --> 00:14:10,843
How do you explain that?
315
00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:11,999
Lucky guess.
316
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,278
No, no, no, Hogan.
317
00:14:13,302 --> 00:14:15,347
This man is something special.
318
00:14:15,371 --> 00:14:17,838
Thank you, General Klink.
319
00:14:17,907 --> 00:14:20,387
Now, Hogan, let me...
320
00:14:22,244 --> 00:14:24,322
"General Klink?"
321
00:14:24,346 --> 00:14:27,986
You did say
"General Klink," huh?
322
00:14:28,051 --> 00:14:29,995
Ah, LeBeau, please
come in, come in.
323
00:14:30,019 --> 00:14:31,263
Make yourself at home.
324
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,419
Sit down.
325
00:14:32,488 --> 00:14:33,654
Can I get you anything?
326
00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:34,822
Uh, some brandy, huh?
327
00:14:34,891 --> 00:14:35,990
No.
328
00:14:36,059 --> 00:14:37,224
How about a cigar, huh?
329
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,653
Behind the filing cabinet.
330
00:14:49,572 --> 00:14:51,505
Incredible.
331
00:14:51,574 --> 00:14:52,673
Oh, come on, Colonel.
332
00:14:52,742 --> 00:14:54,008
He could have put 'em there.
333
00:14:54,077 --> 00:14:56,043
No, Hogan, I was
watching him all the time.
334
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,344
I still think he's faking.
335
00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:59,780
LeBeau, just a
minute ago, out there,
336
00:14:59,849 --> 00:15:01,415
you called me a general.
337
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,150
I'm only a colonel.
338
00:15:03,219 --> 00:15:05,230
I must tune into
your wavelength.
339
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,524
Klink... Klink...
340
00:15:10,593 --> 00:15:13,928
Klink.
341
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,730
I'm in the future.
342
00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:16,998
You are a general.
343
00:15:17,033 --> 00:15:20,067
I see it clearly.
344
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,169
Berlin.
345
00:15:22,238 --> 00:15:23,849
Hitler himself promotes you.
346
00:15:23,873 --> 00:15:25,706
Hmm. Exactly what
my astrologer said.
347
00:15:25,775 --> 00:15:27,853
I'm at your promotion ceremony.
348
00:15:27,877 --> 00:15:30,397
Your brother is there...
349
00:15:30,446 --> 00:15:31,624
still not working.
350
00:15:31,648 --> 00:15:32,747
Well, it wasn't his fault.
351
00:15:32,815 --> 00:15:34,015
You see, the bombers were...
352
00:15:34,083 --> 00:15:36,361
Hitler is saying,
"You are a hero."
353
00:15:36,385 --> 00:15:38,825
You saved a secret weapon,
354
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:41,384
something from this very camp.
355
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:44,609
A magnetic...
356
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:47,195
D... E...
357
00:15:47,263 --> 00:15:49,614
V-V...
358
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,615
Deviator.
359
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:52,850
He knows about that?
360
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,252
Unbelievable.
361
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,480
There is something to this.
362
00:15:55,504 --> 00:15:56,670
I'm getting static.
363
00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:58,250
Oh, I'm sorry. Wait.
364
00:15:58,274 --> 00:16:00,208
I'm on your mother's wavelength.
365
00:16:00,276 --> 00:16:02,955
Any messages, sir?
366
00:16:02,979 --> 00:16:05,279
LeBeau... the
magnetic deviator...
367
00:16:05,348 --> 00:16:06,948
How do I save it?
368
00:16:07,016 --> 00:16:08,633
The Allies know about it.
369
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,278
They are sending a
group of commandos
370
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,436
to capture it,
371
00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:14,482
but you've set a trap for them.
372
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:15,672
A trap?
373
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:16,840
How? Where?
374
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,008
Come on, Commandant.
375
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:19,477
You're taking unfair advantage.
376
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,706
This is illegal, using
a gypsy in time of war,
377
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,080
and against his own side yet.
378
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,982
Quiet, Hogan.
379
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,379
This man has got to come out
of his trance. Now, wake him up.
380
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,819
Hogan, out! That's an order.
381
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,554
Okay. Okay.
382
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,143
But I'm gonna report this.
383
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,560
There's got to be something
in the Geneva Convention
384
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:37,795
about a big-mouth gypsy.
385
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:42,066
Now, LeBeau, you tell me...
386
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:45,669
the commandos...
When are they coming?
387
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,188
Very soon.
388
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:48,537
It's tonight.
389
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,952
They will attack
at the front gate,
390
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:52,087
but it will fail
391
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:54,356
because of a
Klink master stroke.
392
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,342
You've ordered every man
393
00:16:56,366 --> 00:16:58,410
in the camp to the front gate.
394
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,134
Every man?
395
00:17:00,203 --> 00:17:01,502
The front gate?
396
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:02,870
Everyone?
397
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,967
You will need them
all to spring a trap
398
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,102
and save the magnetic deviator.
399
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:08,876
And leave the rest of
the camp unguarded?
400
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,506
There will be no escapes.
401
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,374
You have the prisoners cowed.
402
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,415
True, true.
403
00:17:14,483 --> 00:17:15,783
But that's risky. Oh.
404
00:17:15,851 --> 00:17:18,063
As Hitler will later say,
405
00:17:18,087 --> 00:17:20,821
"Only a great hero
would dare try it,"
406
00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:22,423
and in years to come,
407
00:17:22,491 --> 00:17:24,436
this maneuver will be known
408
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,927
in military parlance
409
00:17:25,995 --> 00:17:28,040
as the "Klink Dipsy Doodle."
410
00:17:28,064 --> 00:17:31,232
Hmm.
411
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,534
The "Klink Dipsy Doodle."
412
00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:42,076
Lovely night for a battle.
413
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,312
They're ready for anything.
414
00:17:50,553 --> 00:17:52,064
Hello, Phantom.
This is Papa Bear.
415
00:17:52,088 --> 00:17:53,187
Are you ready? Over.
416
00:17:53,256 --> 00:17:54,354
Hello, Papa Bear?
417
00:17:54,423 --> 00:17:55,589
This is Phantom.
418
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,508
All set. Awaiting orders.
419
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,960
All set, Colonel.
420
00:17:59,028 --> 00:18:00,928
Well, let's wait a few minutes.
421
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,947
Give it a chance to get darker.
422
00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:06,199
It's getting late,
Herr Kommandant.
423
00:18:06,268 --> 00:18:09,136
Perhaps the commandos
are not coming.
424
00:18:09,205 --> 00:18:11,806
They will be here.
425
00:18:11,874 --> 00:18:14,208
I just hope nothing
has happened to them.
426
00:18:14,277 --> 00:18:16,076
All right, you know
what you have to do.
427
00:18:16,145 --> 00:18:18,779
Disconnect the magnetic
deviator and bring it back here.
428
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:19,947
Mm-hmm.
429
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,660
But leave the nitro
in the half-track.
430
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,417
Okay. Kill the lights.
431
00:18:23,485 --> 00:18:24,718
Let's go.
432
00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:30,858
Good luck.
433
00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:39,161
They've made it.
434
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:40,362
Let's get the war started.
435
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:41,485
Right.
436
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,998
Hello, Phantom,
this is Papa Bear.
437
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,302
Commence firing.
438
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,490
Will do, sir.
439
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,054
They're here.
440
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,212
Schultz, give the order
to commence firing.
441
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:12,516
Schultz, get up!
442
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:15,105
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
443
00:19:16,839 --> 00:19:18,505
Commence firing!
444
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,374
Hello, Papa Bear?
445
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:39,059
This is Phantom. Over.
446
00:19:39,128 --> 00:19:40,411
How's it going? Over.
447
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,974
Bloody marvelous.
You never told me
448
00:19:41,998 --> 00:19:43,397
they were gonna fire back at me.
449
00:19:43,465 --> 00:19:45,443
Klink is anxious
for that promotion,
450
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:46,644
but you can hold out.
451
00:19:46,668 --> 00:19:47,768
You're joking.
452
00:19:47,837 --> 00:19:49,203
Errol Flynn would have trouble.
453
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:50,982
I got three pittance
of fireworks here.
454
00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:53,206
They got an armory
full of live ammunition.
455
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,870
You can take off the
minute the boys get back.
456
00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:58,662
One more thing:
keep your head down.
457
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,617
Roger.
458
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:14,411
Schultz, tell the men
to prepare to attack.
459
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,724
Attack?
460
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,726
You mean to go out there?
461
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,182
I will lead you.
462
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,851
Herr Kommandant,
463
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,664
perhaps it would be much better
464
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:24,766
if you go out there alone.
465
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,635
After all, you are the colonel,
466
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,203
and it would mean much more
467
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,639
if you give the order to attack.
468
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,863
Schultz, there's
nothing to fear.
469
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,064
I know.
470
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,467
My gypsy told me.
471
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:39,086
Cease fire!
472
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:42,289
All right, men, follow me!
473
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,033
They're on their way.
474
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:10,984
So are the bleeding Germans.
475
00:21:11,053 --> 00:21:12,664
You've got to hold them off
476
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:13,968
just a little longer.
477
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,771
Duck, Herr Kommandant!
478
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:29,670
Schultz!
479
00:21:29,738 --> 00:21:31,105
He's not here.
480
00:21:31,174 --> 00:21:33,223
Schultz, I'm ordering
you to advance.
481
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,443
Herr Kommandant,
482
00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:38,612
may I first talk with my gypsy?
483
00:21:38,681 --> 00:21:41,648
If you can find one
at the Russian front.
484
00:21:42,751 --> 00:21:44,819
Forward!
485
00:21:49,692 --> 00:21:51,625
Keep going.
486
00:21:52,995 --> 00:21:54,928
Tell Newkirk to get out.
487
00:21:54,997 --> 00:21:56,175
Hello, Phantom.
488
00:21:56,199 --> 00:21:57,497
Take off.
489
00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,249
I thought you'd never ask.
490
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:05,723
They've gone.
491
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:07,603
They didn't even stay and fight!
492
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:09,660
Somebody up there likes us!
493
00:22:09,729 --> 00:22:12,562
It's a rout! It's a rout!
494
00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:14,943
Oh, I can't wait to report
this to headquarters.
495
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:17,145
Wait until General
Burkhalter hears
496
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:20,270
about the Klink Dipsy Doodle!
497
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,080
You sure you set the explosives?
498
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,882
It should go off any minute.
499
00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,562
Hogan!
500
00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:34,985
Your commandos have failed.
501
00:22:35,053 --> 00:22:37,588
The half-track is still here,
and my promotion is assured,
502
00:22:37,656 --> 00:22:40,302
thanks to my
little friend... Shh.
503
00:22:40,326 --> 00:22:42,259
I see a cloud on
the Klink horizon.
504
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:44,528
It's a plane, an English plane,
505
00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:45,695
a bomber.
506
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:46,863
It's headed this way.
507
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:48,031
It's right here.
508
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,277
Well, I don't hear any...
509
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:50,634
No! It's dropping a bomb.
510
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:51,868
Hit the deck!
511
00:22:59,194 --> 00:23:00,628
Oh, my sympathies, Colonel.
512
00:23:00,696 --> 00:23:02,963
I think your promotion
just went up in smoke.
513
00:23:09,605 --> 00:23:11,417
But I don't
understand it, Hogan.
514
00:23:11,441 --> 00:23:13,285
The gypsy didn't say anything...
515
00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,589
LeBeau, please,
516
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:16,021
tune in on my wavelength.
517
00:23:16,045 --> 00:23:18,223
Listen, will this
help my promotion?
518
00:23:18,247 --> 00:23:19,379
How would I know?
519
00:23:19,449 --> 00:23:21,715
What's this doing on my ear?
520
00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:24,985
The explosion must have
brought him back to normal.
521
00:23:25,054 --> 00:23:26,231
But it can't.
522
00:23:26,255 --> 00:23:27,855
I need him as he was.
523
00:23:27,924 --> 00:23:29,490
Hogan, what will I do?
524
00:23:29,559 --> 00:23:31,124
Wait for another rainstorm.
525
00:23:31,193 --> 00:23:33,461
We could always put
him back up on the roof.
33390
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