All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S06E12 The Big Broadcast.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.CBS

North Star, repeat message.

Repeat message.

Interference on the line.

Over.

Newkirk, get out map book one,

check Apple 42, huh?

Roger, North Star.

Papa Bear confirms message.

We will...

What is it?

There's heavy
traffic on the line.

Scrambling?

No, it fades in and out like...

Papa Bear out!

Why'd you sign off?

Sounds like the radio detection
unit picked up our signal.

Any chance they could've
located our position?

I don't think so.

We were off the air before
they could get a fix on us.

Here's the
assignment... Double red.

Double red!

That means they want
this one done so fast

we're already late with it.

"Underground has
vital information

"that must be radioed
to air intelligence tonight.

Make contact with Agent
Hercules at Apple 42 at 1900 hours."

See, Apple 42,
that's the Garten road.

It's about 15
kilometers south of here.

15 kilometers.

We'll need transportation.

LeBeau.

LeBEAU: Hmm?

What condition
is Klink's car in?

Well, what kind of
condition would you like it in?

Just bad enough to go
in for repairs overnight.

Isn't it about due for its
thousand-mile checkup?

No, it just had one.

So we set the speedometer ahead

and give it another one.

No, we had to set the
speedometer ahead

for the last one.

I think old Klink's
getting suspicious.

May I suggest brake failure?

Brake failure sounds good.

It's logical, and the car hasn't
had one good brake failure

since the last collision.

Brake failure it is.

LeBeau, get to work,

and make sure the brakes don't.

We'll take over
from here, Schultz.

Hogan, what is this all about?

Thank goodness we caught you

before you went
anywhere in that car, sir.

We have already been somewhere.

Lucky man, sir.

Schultz, you should know
better than to go anywhere

with that car in that condition.

What's wrong with my condition?

I'm referring to the
condition of the car.

Boy, thank goodness, Colonel,

we caught them just
in the nick of time.

What is everybody
so excited about?

This car is fine!

It may look fine, sir, but that
car is a veritable deathtrap.

It's been over a
couple of months

since those brakes
were checked, sir.

They could go at any time.

We'll get it in for
repairs immediately.

Hogan, ever since
you and your men

have been taking care of my car,

it's always gone in for repairs
but never come out repaired.

It's not our fault
you got a lemon.

Excuse us, Schultz.

I'll take the car
from here, Schultz.

Schultz, park
the car over there.

Jawohl, Herr
Kommandant. Raus! Raus!

You're making a big
mistake, Commandant.

No, you and your
men are the mistake.

Now, look at that speedometer.

It has gone 30,000 miles,

and that's just between
here and the repair shop.

You know, sometimes you make
me think you don't like our work.

Hogan, I have
never liked your work.

And next week I'm going
to get a real mechanic

to keep the car repaired.

C-Commandant!

You want to get killed?!

But the kommandant said...

I don't care what the
commandant said!

This car's unsafe!

Now, I don't want you
starting it up with me in it!

Why don't you get out?

And don't you dare touch
the key, you understand?

And that goes for you, too!

Well, you're
crazy to drive a car

when the brakes
sound the way they do.

They did not make any sound!

That's what I mean...

Not so much as a
squeal out of them.

Why, you wouldn't even
know you had any brakes,

and you know why?

Because you don't, that's why!

And if you're smart,
you'll let us push this

to the repair shop right now.

You're right, boys.

You push the car and I'll steer.

Now you're using your head.

I'm using my head much
better than you do, boys.

I'm going to talk
about four men,

four men you just left out
there with broken hearts,

broken by your callous words.

What did I say?

It's not what you
said; it's what you did.

What did I do?

And it's not what you did;
it's the way that you did it.

All right, what did I
do and how did I do it?

All right, maybe they're not
the best mechanics in the world,

but they put their
hearts into that car.

And what appreciation
do they get from you?

Tell them I said, "Thank
you, thank you, thank you."

"Thank you, thank
you, thank you."

Is that all the thanks they get?

Those boys wanted to
have that car of yours fixed

for your big date in
Hammelburg tomorrow night.

My big date in Hammelburg?

With the new owner
of the Rathskeller.

I understand she's a
lovely young widow.

Well, I...

A lovely young widow, huh?

I understand she's a
very lovely young widow.

What would...

A very lovely young widow?

A very rich, very
lovely young widow.

She sounds very interesting.

Yes, and I imagine
she's very lonely, too.

Hogan, there is no such thing

as a lonely, lovely,
rich young widow.

Well, ordinarily
no, but remember,

she's starting a new
life in a new town.

She's got to be careful of
the company she keeps.

She can't go out
with just anyone.

No, she can't.

It has to be someone
of importance,

someone...

Like me.

Exactly.

Now, let us get
those brakes fixed, sir,

so you can drive into
town tomorrow night

and pay your
respects... Good idea.

Hogan!

Better idea.

You have the brakes fixed
so I can go into town tonight.

Well, no, she
works till 12:30, sir,

she'll be all worn out.

Psychologically, tomorrow
night would be much better,

and it's her night off.

I suppose you're right.

Yeah, and there's
going to be a full moon.

It would be a perfect night
for a long drive in the country.

Yes.

You know what would go
very nicely with a full moon?

What's that, sir?

An empty gas tank.

You are a wily old lech.

I'll see that it's done, sir.

Major Hochstetter's
here to see you.

Tell Major Hochstetter
I cannot be disturbed.

You will be disturbed, Klink.

Ah, what a pleasant surprise...

Save the bootlicking
for General Burkhalter.

Klink, one of our
radio detector units

has picked up a
transmitter in this area.

A transmitter in this camp?

Oh, come now, Major.

I did not say it came
from here, Klink;

it is somewhere around
here, and I intend to find it.

But what has that
got to do with me?

I will need all the
men you can spare.

Well, I...

You can spare a hundred.

A hundred?

I may need more if
they do not send me

the troops I have asked for.

Hello!

Major Hochstetter here.

Ja, good, put him through.

Hello, Lieutenant, did you
break down that message?

Ja, good.

Lieutenant, go ahead.

Uh, just a moment, Lieutenant.

Klink, this is
classified information.

I will have to ask
you to leave the office.

Certainly, Major Hochstetter.

Would you like me
to lock the door, sir?

Ja, and close the windows,
please, I don't want...

You, raus!

No, me Hogan.

Me leaving.

Hochstetter's a
pushy sort, isn't he?

Hogan, I will not
put up with this.

I am the commandant
of this camp.

Forget it, Commandant,
don't let it upset you.

Think about tomorrow night...

The long drive
and the full moon.

The empty gas tank.

Schultz, bring the car up here.

Schultz, stop
the car right here.

Pull it right up here.

Stop the car.

Joy rider!

Halt!

Schultz!

Pick up the commandant's
car... It's going in for repairs.

Something wrong?

I think it's the brakes.

We'll know better once
we get it off the porch.

Did I see Hochstetter's car

come roaring in a
few minutes ago?

Yeah, one of his units
picked up our signal.

Now we'll have radio detectors
sitting right on top of us.

Do we scratch the mission?

We got to.

Even if we get the
information from Hercules,

we can't transmit it.

Wait a minute!

Air intelligence
needs that information,

and we've got orders
to see that they get it.

Well, so it's a little tough,

but when the pressure's on,
that's when we're at our best.

And Colonel Hogan has
always come up with an answer.

It's true, he always has.

And he always will.

You got any answers, sir?

Not yet.

Well, you're... you're
probably trying too hard.

Stop thinking about it, sir,

and just let it
come to you, see.

And it will, sir, you'll see.

Just... just come on now

and relax and start
thinking, boy... sir.

Andrew, if you'd shut
up, maybe he can.

Let's look at this
problem logically.

What'd I tell you?

See, he's come
up with an answer.

Carter, I haven't
thought of anything yet.

I really think we ought
to pass on this one, sir.

We can't use the
transmitter here

and we can't take it with us.

Why can't we?

Guess we could.

Then let's do it.

Why don't we?

S-Sir?

Did somebody come
up with an answer?

Carter, pay attention.

Plugs?

Check.

All right, so much
for the engine,

now the dashboard. Map light?

Map light okay.

Headlights?

Headlights okay.

Car radio receiver
and transmitter?

Car radio receiver...

It's gone!

Gone?

By golly, it is gone.

Hey, Schultz,
where's the car radio?

Please, don't think that
I was eavesdropping.

We didn't think any such thing.

You were spying.

Yes, ordered by the commandant.

He wanted to be sure
that you are working,

and I hid in the back so
not to make you nervous.

Well, we appreciate
that, Schultz,

but the two-way
radio is missing.

Where is it?

This car never had
a two-way radio.

Well, it has to, Schultz.

That's standard
equipment for all staff cars.

I mean, how would you
contact the commandant

if there was trouble in
camp while he was away?

There is never any
trouble when he is away,

and there was never
any radio in the car.

No, there's not now,
and whoever took it

I expect got a very good
price for it on the black market.

How much are two-way
radios bringing now, Schultz?

How do I know?

Aw, come on, Schultzy.

We know you have
friends in the black market.

That's not true!

Well, "friends" is
a bad word to use.

So is "black market."

I know nothing about the radio.

Nothing!

I believed him.

Ja, thank you very much.

After all, Schultz isn't the
only crook around here.

Ja, there are many others.

And besides, he's responsible
for the commandant's car,

so if something's
missing, it's his neck.

You got a point there, Carter.

An excellent point.

Mm-hmm.

Now, I swear to you,
on my word of honor,

the last time I saw the radio,
it was right here in this car.

All we can do is
start scrounging,

see if we can come up with
enough parts to build another one.

Build another one?

Oh, sure.

Once Klink finds out it's gone,

we're all going to catch it
from him, especially you.

How do we get so many parts?

Who knows until we look?

If we don't, you can
always buy that radio back

from whoever you sold it to.

Kidding, Schultz, kidding.

We will station detector
units one, two and three

here, here and here.

Each unit will have
a two-man escort.

Full battle gear, Major?

Ja, and all the grenades and
ammunition the men can carry.

We are giving no quarter!

Major Hochstetter, if you
are not using my desk,

there's some reports
I have to finish.

Go right ahead, Commandant.

You can't work in all this mess.

Just push this trash aside, eh?

I don't know what
those papers are.

Those are the
reports I have to finish.

Now, gentlemen,
it is my firm belief

that that message came
from their main headquarters.

Just look at this wooded area

and the terrain here, eh?

Ideally suited for
defense, Major.

Now, this is my plan:

We will have a fairly
large assault force

make a frontal attack from here.

But that is exactly

what they're set up for, Major.

We wouldn't stand a chance.

Ja, but the real attack will
come from here and from here.

The first group will charge

right into the teeth
of the withering fire.

Those few who survive
will hold where they are

and keep them busy
while our forces close in.

One question, Major.

Which group will make
that frontal attack?

Colonel Klink
and his volunteers.

Who?

Colonel Klink
and his volunteers.

Since there is
some risk involved,

the men will have
to volunteer for it.

So will Colonel Klink...

and I cannot tell you how
disappointed I am that I'm not going to.

But I happen to have

some very urgent
business in town tonight.

What kind of business?

Prison camp business.

And if it were anything
else, I would cancel it,

so I would not miss that
charge into the withering fire.

Fräulein Hilda, get Schultz

and tell him to have
the car ready at 6:00.

And tell him to tell Hogan

if it is not ready,
he'll be shot.

Easy.

Perfect.

Okay, now hang this mike
to that hook on the dash

and we're in business.

Hey, it even looks
like it belongs there.

Frankly, I'm impressed.

I didn't think we
were this clever.

Now all we have to do is meet
Hercules and send the message.

Doesn't look as if
Schultz did too well.

What'd you find, Schultz?

Oh, I went everywhere...

Upstairs, downstairs,
inside, out.

Oh, I haven't looked
for food that hard.

What'd you find?

I found there are no radio
parts to be found in this camp.

Well, there aren't now.

What do you think of
that installation job we did?

You'd never notice the
radio was gone, would you?

It's a radio.

How did you do it?

We found some odds and ends.

Here and there.

Here and there where?

Maybe I can explain, Schultz.

You see, here is
Colonel Klink's car.

Over there is Major
Hochstetter's car.

We found there was
a radio over there.

Presto... it's over here.

Colonel Hogan.

Don't tell me, Colonel Hogan.

Don't tell me whatever it was,

because I know
nothing... nothing!

I don't know why we're
so good to you, Schultz.

I even keep forgetting
that you're the enemy.

I tell you, boys, you
were very nice to me;

now I'm going to do
a good turn for you.

Oh, what'd you have in mind?

You don't have to work
on the car tomorrow.

Why not?

Because you're going
to finish it tonight.

Tonight?

The commandant
would like to have

the car fixed by 6:00 tonight.

But that's impossible, Schultz.

6:00 or everybody
goes to the cooler.

For life!

You know, Schultz,

you're making it much easier to
remember that you're the enemy.

Stop talking and start
repairing something.

When I come back, I would
like to see the car fixed,

you understand?!

Now what are we going to?

We have not only not got a car;

we have not got a
radio to go along with it.

Under the circumstances,

we'd better get our
radio out of here, sir.

Not necessarily.

It's fine right where it is,

although Klink isn't
going to think so...

Not with Hochstetter's
bloodhounds

combing the brush
for a transmitter.

No, he just as soon be
driving a crashing airplane.

Let's get going,
start fixing things.

Everything's fixed, sir.

Well, then break something...
We got four hours to kill.

All units will be in their
positions by 1900 hours.

It is now 1700 plus 30.

At 1800 minus ten, all leaders

will open sealed orders
and proceed as directed.

There will be radio
silence maintained,

and the men will
speak to no one...

We do not want
a leak at this point.

All units in position
at 1900 hours.

Ja.

Oh... I didn't think
anyone was here.

The door was locked,
so I assumed that...

It's funny that
you would have...

Oh... security... of course.

I was just getting some
papers from my desk,

so you go right ahead
with what you were doing.

Feel perfectly free
to talk in front of me.

I'm on your side, you know.

I mean, it's my side, too.

We're both on the same
side, so feel free to talk.

I'm on both sides.

Whoops, I didn't mean...

Klink, get whatever you
need and get out here.

Hochstetter, I'm the
commandant of this camp.

I would not brag about that,
Klink... your men are cowards!

Now, just a moment.

Cowards!

When I asked for volunteers
for that assault force,

every guard in this camp
had night duty tonight.

Ah, that proves they're
not afraid of the dark.

Is it usual that all of
your men have night duty?

There's a great deal
of camp spirit here.

There has never been an
escape, and it is a matter of pride.

Even when they're off
duty, they're on duty.

Maybe they sensed something
in the air, an attempted escape.

They are the ones that
are doing the escaping,

along with their
commandant, I might add.

I told you how sorry I was.

So did all of your men!

Very well, I will
do this without you!

If there is a transmitter
within 20 miles of this camp,

we will blast it to pieces
before it gets off two words!

I only hope I am in on the kill!

Oh, good evening,
Herr Kommandant.

The car is ready and
waiting as ordered.

Excellent, Schultz.

It runs good?

Oh, like new, Herr Kommandant.

Take the night off, Schultz.

I'm going drive
myself into town.

Thank you very much,
Herr Kommandant.

I hope you appreciate
our promptness, sir.

We made a special effort to
have the car ready on time.

I do appreciate it,
Hogan, and in the future,

I hope you show even greater
effort, both you and your men.

Well, I wouldn't
if I were you, sir.

It, uh, was really
just beginner's luck.

I hope you have a
good time tonight.

I intend to.

Uh, what is this
music in the car?

I was listening to the radio.

What radio?

The car radio.

This car has no radio.

Then you already
knew it was missing.

Should've known
you'd catch that, sir.

I think you'll be happy with
the one we've installed, sir,

it's a fairly new transmitter
with a range of about...

A transmitter?!

Get it away!

It's not going to hurt you, sir.

It's going to kill me,

that's how it's not
going to hurt me.

What are you talking about?

That trigger-happy
nut, Hochstetter...

He and his goon squad
will be combing the area

for a transmitter.

By golly, he's right.

We almost got our
commandant shot.

Boy, would
Hochstetter's face be red.

So would the
commandant's uniform.

That's not funny!

No, it is not.

That's why I stopped laughing.

We weren't laughing
at you, Colonel,

we were laughing with you.

Shut up!

Now, get the car out of here,

get the radio out of the car

and get yourselves out of here!

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Raus, everybody!

Mach schnell, schnell,
schnell, schnell, schnell!

Raus! Raus, everybody! Raus!

Okay, that's good.

Now for the final touch.

Fantastic... you
won't know yourself.

I can't even see myself.

Believe me, you're a
very sinister-looking fellow.

Uh-huh.

Let's go.

Gentlemen.

Well?

No sign of him.

Well, keep looking...
Maybe Baker...

Nah, I just saw Baker.

What about Newkirk?

Baker'd seen him... no luck.

LeBeau?

I haven't heard from LeBeau.

I think I found him, sir.

I'm Papa Bear.

I'm Hercules.

You must get this
message to headquarters.

Wessingen is the main target.

Rocket factory is three
miles north of the town.

It will look like an
orchard from the sky.

Wessingen, three miles
north of Hammelburg,

looks like an orchard.

Where's the final assembly
and ship-out done?

There's a fishing
village, Bohnhorst.

It's ten miles up
from Götenfeld.

They use a cannery for assembly
and send them out by U-boat.

Good.

Let's go.

Heil Hitler.

Heil.

Find anything, Herr Colonel?

Found everything.

This is what's left,
but not for long.

Tell all the units
they can go home.

Jawohl, Herr Colonel.

And cut your radar... I
have to radio headquarters.

Close down, Müller!

Good work, sir.

Danke, Sergeant.

Uh, I'm a corporal.

Turning down the promotion?

Promotion?

No, sir.

Thank you, sir.

This is Colonel Hoganmeyer
calling headquarters.

We found the underground agent

with vital information on the
rocket factories and shipping.

He even knew of the factory

three miles north of Hammelburg

that looks like an orchard.

No.

Yes.

And, uh...

- A - fishing
village, Bohnhorst,

where they assemble the rockets

and ship them
out by our U-boats.

No!

Yes.

I'm getting too old to
be a prisoner of war.

I wonder if our
commandant got into town.

Schultz said he took the
motorcycle with the sidecar.

Well, I hope he has a good time.

What does this lovely
young rich widow look like?

Well, I'm not even
sure she's rich.

Well, a lovely, young
widow is good enough.

I really don't know
if she's lovely.

A young widow is still
worth taking a chance on.

I'm not even sure she's young.

All the paper said was the
Rathskeller was purchased

by Frau Bertha Hagenfassel.

Bertha Hagenfassel!

I see a woman about
four feet, six inches tall

when she's standing
on her hind legs.

Come on, don't be
fooled by a name.

It's a motorcycle.

It's heading this
way in a hurry.

In a big hurry.

Commandant Klink.

A little late to be
calling, isn't it?

What I have to say
cannot wait until tomorrow.

What's that, sir?

Thanks.

And thanks from Bertha.

Hurry, darling, it's cold.

Coming, Bertha!

Hogan, you're the best
enemy a man ever had.