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1
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Achtung!
2
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At ease, men.
3
00:00:52,837 --> 00:00:54,669
Now, uh, as your commandant,
4
00:00:54,738 --> 00:00:56,972
I'm proud to
announce further proof
5
00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:58,773
of the Third Reich's
6
00:00:58,843 --> 00:01:00,942
considerate treatment
of its prisoners.
7
00:01:01,011 --> 00:01:02,544
You will each be allowed
8
00:01:02,612 --> 00:01:04,513
to record one personal message
9
00:01:04,581 --> 00:01:06,848
to be sent home
to your loved ones.
10
00:01:06,917 --> 00:01:08,945
Hey, great, we're
going to make a record!
11
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,580
Very generous of
you, Commandant.
12
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,617
Naturally, we can say anything
we want on the record, right?
13
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:14,973
Well, not exactly anything.
14
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,809
We have to observe some
security precautions, naturally.
15
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:19,544
Now, I've prepared
16
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,747
some sample messages
that you can use.
17
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,016
They're quite nice and personal.
18
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,851
For instance, number one:
19
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"How are you? I am
fine. I am treated well."
20
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,156
That's lovely.
21
00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:33,275
Gets you right here.
22
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:36,044
Number two: "We
have good quarters
23
00:01:36,113 --> 00:01:39,130
and plenty of fine,
nourishing food."
24
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:40,281
Excuse me, sir.
25
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,667
Is there one about Goldilocks
and the three bears?
26
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,297
Goldilocks and the...
27
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:45,965
Oh, that's a good one.
28
00:01:45,989 --> 00:01:47,133
Is it in there?
29
00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:49,207
This privilege can
be revoked, you know.
30
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,409
You have one hour.
31
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:51,743
Only messages on this list.
32
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,378
Schultz.
33
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,663
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
34
00:01:54,732 --> 00:01:56,798
Here, Colonel Hogan.
35
00:01:56,867 --> 00:02:00,569
Now, I'm going
to explain it to you.
36
00:02:00,638 --> 00:02:03,004
Stop me if I'm too technical.
37
00:02:03,073 --> 00:02:05,407
Now, you talk in there and...
38
00:02:05,476 --> 00:02:07,454
Hey, hey, plenty of
newsy little items here.
39
00:02:07,478 --> 00:02:08,521
Look at number six:
40
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,346
"Adolf Hitler sleeps
with a night-light."
41
00:02:12,583 --> 00:02:13,682
Where does it say that?
42
00:02:13,751 --> 00:02:14,761
Number six.
43
00:02:14,785 --> 00:02:16,079
Schultz.
44
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,320
Take these men back to
the barracks immediately.
45
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,988
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
46
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,723
Well, you heard him.
47
00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:23,758
Raus, everybody, raus.
48
00:02:23,827 --> 00:02:25,404
Take this with you.
49
00:02:25,428 --> 00:02:27,006
Raus, raus, raus, raus, raus!
50
00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:29,497
SS men? What
are they doing here?
51
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,333
I think we have to
rewrite number one.
52
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:36,237
We are not fine;
we are in big trouble.
53
00:02:56,026 --> 00:02:57,993
What do you think they
want the rec hall for?
54
00:02:58,061 --> 00:03:00,294
I don't know, but it's a
cinch they're not there
55
00:03:00,363 --> 00:03:01,997
for the Chinese
checker playoffs.
56
00:03:02,065 --> 00:03:03,898
Schultz's coming.
57
00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:05,133
Hey, maybe he could tell us
58
00:03:05,201 --> 00:03:06,467
what they want the place for.
59
00:03:06,536 --> 00:03:08,280
But he wouldn't tell
us anything about that.
60
00:03:08,304 --> 00:03:09,570
I don't expect him to tell us,
61
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,472
but he might tell
my dear old mum.
62
00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:13,541
Turn on the machine.
63
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,977
Achtung. Here's your new...
64
00:03:16,046 --> 00:03:18,390
Shh, shh, he's recording
a letter to home.
65
00:03:18,414 --> 00:03:19,547
Shh.
66
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,749
As I was saying, Mom,
67
00:03:20,817 --> 00:03:22,817
we were just thrown
out of the recreation hut,
68
00:03:22,886 --> 00:03:25,253
probably because
Schultz wanted the place
69
00:03:25,321 --> 00:03:26,855
to play Ping-Pong or something.
70
00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:27,856
Ping-Pong? Me?
71
00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:31,026
Shh! Shh.
72
00:03:31,094 --> 00:03:32,694
So forget all those nice things
73
00:03:32,763 --> 00:03:33,895
I told you about him.
74
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:34,964
He turned out to be
75
00:03:35,032 --> 00:03:36,631
just another big, nasty Kraut.
76
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,366
I'm not a big, nasty Kraut.
77
00:03:38,434 --> 00:03:40,068
I'm a big, nice Kraut.
78
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,998
Don't listen to
him, it isn't true!
79
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,704
Would you kindly
stay out of my letter
80
00:03:43,773 --> 00:03:45,440
and stop fibbing to Mama?
81
00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:46,874
But I wouldn't...
82
00:03:46,943 --> 00:03:50,056
What a terrible thing to say.
83
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,081
It wasn't me; it was the SS men.
84
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,615
Oh, come on, Schultz.
85
00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:56,884
Those guys don't play Ping-Pong.
86
00:03:56,953 --> 00:03:58,586
Yeah, he's like all
the others, Mom,
87
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,288
so you can stop
knitting those socks
88
00:04:00,357 --> 00:04:02,190
you were making for
him... He's a meanie.
89
00:04:02,259 --> 00:04:05,293
I'm not a meanie!
90
00:04:05,362 --> 00:04:09,464
It was orders by General
Burkhalter, Mama.
91
00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:13,068
He needed the place
for Colonel Schneider.
92
00:04:14,604 --> 00:04:16,504
Look at me, Mama.
93
00:04:16,573 --> 00:04:19,257
Do I look like a fibber, huh?
94
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:21,526
Well, I, uh, guess
I was wrong, Mom.
95
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,662
You can go back to
knitting the socks for Schultz.
96
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,698
Oh, thank you. Danke.
97
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,935
Oh, oh. Size 13.
98
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,103
Size 13, Mama.
99
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:34,840
And good-bye.
100
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,219
Who's this Colonel Schneider?
101
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,353
I never heard of him.
102
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,743
All we got is a name.
103
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,379
We don't know who he is or
what he's doing here, do we?
104
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,081
The name is all we need.
105
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,016
Klink can tell us the rest.
106
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,462
Klink? You don't expect him
107
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:48,264
to fall for that
"letter to Mama" bit.
108
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,955
No, but he might just tell us
109
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,556
all we want to know
about Schneider,
110
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:55,109
provided he thinks
we already know.
111
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,029
Come in, come in.
112
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,497
Oh, it's you.
113
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,377
Colonel, we need
some infor... Dismissed!
114
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:02,734
My string quartet is rehearsing
115
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,435
in town this morning
and I'm leaving.
116
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:06,905
We just need a few facts
for the camp newspaper, sir.
117
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,151
Camp newspaper?
118
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,485
Uh, yes, sir... We'd
like to put one out
119
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:10,887
with the records that
we send home, sir,
120
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,621
just to let people know
what's going on in camp.
121
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,356
Request denied. There
will be no newspaper.
122
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,160
I see absolutely no
reason for it, whatsoever.
123
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,461
Well, we were hoping to
write the story of your life
124
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,019
in serial form.
125
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,453
The story of my life?
126
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,523
Front-page stuff,
sir. Inspiring.
127
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,859
Well, now, come to think of it,
128
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,894
a camp newspaper might not be
129
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,197
such a bad idea.
130
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:33,998
It could be very educational.
131
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,067
He's right, sir.
132
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,179
Absolutely.
133
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,247
We want to show
the other Klink...
134
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,249
The one the world
doesn't know...
135
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,718
The patron of the arts.
136
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,842
Of course.
137
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:47,311
Did you know that I patterned
my entire violin technique
138
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:49,580
after the great
Kleinschmidt himself?
139
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,560
You know, I have
all of his recordings.
140
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:54,086
Here, this one is my favorite.
141
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,648
Oh, this is exciting.
142
00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:58,439
Yeah, be sure to get
this all down, Newkirk.
143
00:05:58,508 --> 00:06:00,553
Even if I say so
myself, my playing
144
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,622
has been compared
to his, you know,
145
00:06:02,646 --> 00:06:05,346
and quite favorably.
146
00:06:10,153 --> 00:06:12,420
What other officer
is so versatile?
147
00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:13,954
Not General Burkhalter.
148
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:15,623
Not Colonel Schneider.
149
00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:16,869
Not even... Colonel Schneider?
150
00:06:16,893 --> 00:06:18,337
Did you say Colonel Schneider?
151
00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:20,306
Yeah, the officer that's
coming here this afternoon.
152
00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:22,297
Now, about your violin, sir...
153
00:06:22,365 --> 00:06:23,498
How did you know that?
154
00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:25,300
We read it in a
German newspaper.
155
00:06:25,368 --> 00:06:26,967
We were using
it to light a fire.
156
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:28,336
Newspaper? What newspaper?
157
00:06:28,405 --> 00:06:30,416
I think it was the
Schweinfurt Shopping News
158
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:31,684
or something like that, sir.
159
00:06:31,708 --> 00:06:33,152
Anyway, you were
saying about the violin...
160
00:06:33,176 --> 00:06:34,375
But it couldn't be.
161
00:06:34,444 --> 00:06:35,776
What did it say?
162
00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:37,523
Well, it was talking about
the meeting with Burkhalter
163
00:06:37,547 --> 00:06:39,581
inasmuch as
Schneider is the, um...
164
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,160
The new air force
liaison officer.
165
00:06:41,184 --> 00:06:42,504
Yeah, yeah,
that's it, and it said
166
00:06:42,552 --> 00:06:44,163
they were going to
be discussing the, uh...
167
00:06:44,187 --> 00:06:45,520
Luftwaffe ground support plan?
168
00:06:45,589 --> 00:06:47,333
Uh, right, and
it also said, sir,
169
00:06:47,357 --> 00:06:49,569
that they were going
to talk about the, uh...
170
00:06:49,593 --> 00:06:50,736
Colonel, you know.
171
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:51,760
Of course, of course...
172
00:06:51,794 --> 00:06:53,038
I got it right on the
tip of me tongue.
173
00:06:53,062 --> 00:06:54,362
No... it didn't mention
174
00:06:54,431 --> 00:06:56,475
they would be briefing officers
on the German war effort?
175
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,798
Exactly. Right.
176
00:06:57,867 --> 00:06:59,945
That's all we read, though,
because the page was torn.
177
00:06:59,969 --> 00:07:02,147
Somebody wanted to get to
the funnies on the other side.
178
00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:04,939
But I don't understand...
It's top secret.
179
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:08,075
It simply could not be
in the Shopping News.
180
00:07:08,144 --> 00:07:09,444
Well, obviously it was.
181
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,512
How else would
we know all about it?
182
00:07:11,581 --> 00:07:12,658
Right.
183
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,549
Top secret.
184
00:07:14,618 --> 00:07:17,352
I can't attend, and
it's in a newspaper?
185
00:07:17,421 --> 00:07:19,721
On the other side
of the funnies.
186
00:07:19,789 --> 00:07:21,055
Well, you've got to rehearse.
187
00:07:21,124 --> 00:07:22,357
We'll see you later.
188
00:07:22,426 --> 00:07:24,392
Sorry, Hogan, I couldn't
be more help to you.
189
00:07:24,461 --> 00:07:27,021
But you were, Colonel, you were.
190
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,865
High-level strategy meeting?
191
00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:33,268
Yeah, this Schneider and
his men will be meeting
192
00:07:33,337 --> 00:07:34,417
right in our rec hall.
193
00:07:34,471 --> 00:07:35,981
What are we going
to do, Colonel?
194
00:07:36,005 --> 00:07:37,405
I don't know what we can do.
195
00:07:37,474 --> 00:07:39,319
Work hard to make
this a nice place,
196
00:07:39,343 --> 00:07:42,477
something like this comes up,
and there goes the neighborhood.
197
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,786
Don't tell me you wouldn't like
198
00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:45,063
to listen in on that meeting.
199
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,382
Like to? We got to.
200
00:07:47,451 --> 00:07:49,846
But with the SS on
guard, it won't be easy.
201
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,202
We can't tunnel in there,
202
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:52,520
not by this afternoon.
203
00:07:52,589 --> 00:07:55,156
And we can't plant a
microphone there, either.
204
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,759
There's just no way
to string a wire across.
205
00:07:57,828 --> 00:07:59,310
There just might be.
206
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,512
Sure, of course.
207
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,614
Today's Monday.
208
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,133
Monday's wash day.
209
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:10,589
Aha!
210
00:08:11,608 --> 00:08:14,058
A little old
rub-a-dub-a-dub, huh?
211
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,043
Right, Schultz.
212
00:08:15,112 --> 00:08:16,044
Louis, I don't know
213
00:08:16,113 --> 00:08:17,389
how you get your
collars so white.
214
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,858
I use a German miracle soap.
215
00:08:18,882 --> 00:08:20,593
They come out whiter than white.
216
00:08:20,617 --> 00:08:23,150
Of course they're khaki, so
they're supposed to be brown.
217
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:26,420
Hey... two more loads coming up.
218
00:08:26,489 --> 00:08:28,006
No more room on the line.
219
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,306
What a shame.
220
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:32,410
We wanted to look good
for the important visitors.
221
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,996
So, why don't you
put up another line?
222
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,732
Now, why didn't
we think of that?
223
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:40,986
Yeah, yeah.
224
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,520
Where can we, uh...
225
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:46,124
can we attach the other
end of this, Schultz?
226
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,859
Should be some place.
227
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,262
Yeah, the wall of
the rec hut, huh?
228
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,807
That Schultz...
He's done it again.
229
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,776
Yeah, would you mind
doing it for us, Schultz?
230
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,000
Oh, no, I'd be glad to.
231
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,213
And make it high enough
so that the long underwear
232
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,271
doesn't drag on the ground, huh?
233
00:09:08,531 --> 00:09:09,775
All set at this end.
234
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,119
All right, now
I'll attach the mic
235
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:12,511
to the other end
of the clothes wire,
236
00:09:12,535 --> 00:09:13,779
drop it through
their back window,
237
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:14,736
and we're in business.
238
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,036
I don't know, Colonel.
239
00:09:16,105 --> 00:09:17,750
I don't think it's going
to be all that easy.
240
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:18,873
Those SS men are sharp,
241
00:09:18,941 --> 00:09:20,452
and they play rough. Mm-hmm.
242
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:22,043
There's nothing to worry about.
243
00:09:22,112 --> 00:09:23,378
Nobody's going to beat us
244
00:09:23,446 --> 00:09:24,529
in our own ballpark.
245
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,253
It may be our ballpark,
246
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,111
but they just hit a home run.
247
00:09:46,436 --> 00:09:47,714
Hey, they're
bringing some stuff in
248
00:09:47,738 --> 00:09:48,969
for the big meeting.
249
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,467
Must be the maps
250
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:52,885
of the new attack plan.
251
00:09:52,909 --> 00:09:55,393
Boy, if we could just
get a look at them.
252
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,906
Well, maybe we
can get close enough
253
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,896
through one of the windows, huh?
254
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:13,957
What is this?
255
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,024
LeBEAU: All right, all right.
256
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:15,981
We're moving.
257
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,182
Okay, okay.
258
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:21,269
All right, we're moving.
259
00:10:21,337 --> 00:10:24,857
♪ Swanee, ach ich lieb
dich, ach ich lieb dich... ♪
260
00:10:24,908 --> 00:10:27,208
What the heck is
that, an air raid?
261
00:10:27,277 --> 00:10:29,543
Don't you recognize
it? It's Schultz.
262
00:10:29,612 --> 00:10:30,612
Schultz?
263
00:10:30,647 --> 00:10:31,724
It's the NCO barracks.
264
00:10:31,748 --> 00:10:32,892
He's singing in the shower.
265
00:10:32,916 --> 00:10:33,926
Either singing or drowning.
266
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:35,128
Hey, let's wait a minute.
267
00:10:35,152 --> 00:10:36,295
I want to see if he
can crack the glass.
268
00:10:36,319 --> 00:10:37,730
I think he can do it.
269
00:10:37,754 --> 00:10:39,598
He's already got the
paint peeling off the wall.
270
00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:41,890
At least somebody's happy.
271
00:10:43,359 --> 00:10:45,026
Wait a minute, that's it.
272
00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:47,595
That's how we can
crack the meeting.
273
00:10:47,664 --> 00:10:48,941
What, are you
going to get Schultz
274
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:50,309
to blow the wall down?
275
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:51,732
Let's hope his voice holds out.
276
00:10:51,802 --> 00:10:53,701
Then we'll have
something to sing about.
277
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,887
What is it, Colonel Hogan?
278
00:10:58,942 --> 00:11:00,708
Carter told me you
wanted to see me
279
00:11:00,777 --> 00:11:01,788
about something right away.
280
00:11:01,812 --> 00:11:02,988
Right, Schultz...
We've got to find out
281
00:11:03,012 --> 00:11:04,189
who it was we heard singing
282
00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:06,042
in the NCO shower
about 15 minutes ago.
283
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,299
And for that you had
me run all the way?
284
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,745
It's very important, Schultz.
285
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:11,969
Newkirk's uncle's a big
impresario in London.
286
00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:14,066
Newkirk worked for
him as a talent scout.
287
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,590
I tell you something,
288
00:11:15,658 --> 00:11:18,526
the person with that
golden voice is big-time...
289
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,078
Big big-time.
290
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:22,130
And that's one of our men?
291
00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:23,542
Yeah... all we've got to do
292
00:11:23,566 --> 00:11:25,544
is record that voice,
get it to London,
293
00:11:25,568 --> 00:11:27,246
and his fortune is made.
294
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,398
And ours, too.
295
00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:30,671
But first we have
to find this genius.
296
00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:31,989
He's a genius?
297
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:33,669
And he's here? Mm-hmm.
298
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,226
But you don't know who it is.
299
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,961
No, all we know is
300
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,264
he was singing "Swanee."
301
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,500
My hair stands on end
when I think about it.
302
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,602
Well...
303
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,215
I'll try to help you to
find him. Mm-hmm.
304
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,605
You'd be starting a friend
305
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:50,191
on that stairway to
the stars, Schultz.
306
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,976
Let me see.
307
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,011
You are looking for a man
308
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,713
who was singing "Swanee,"
309
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:58,916
and he was in the shower
room 15 minutes ago.
310
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,152
I got it.
311
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,260
It was me.
312
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,345
Oh, come on!
313
00:12:12,048 --> 00:12:13,426
Good old Schultz with the jokes.
314
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,227
Look, we can't keep the
machine much longer.
315
00:12:15,251 --> 00:12:16,200
Now, go find him.
316
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,069
But Colonel Hogan, it was me.
317
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,071
I was in the shower
room 15 minutes ago.
318
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,774
Look, see... squeaky clean.
319
00:12:23,860 --> 00:12:25,526
Is it possible?
320
00:12:25,595 --> 00:12:27,389
Only one way to find out, sir.
321
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,748
Sing, Schultz.
322
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:33,617
♪ Swanee, ach ich lieb
dich, ach ich lieb dich ♪
323
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,254
♪ Mein altes Swanee... ♪
324
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:38,122
A star is born.
325
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:40,925
That's great; now we record.
326
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,504
Yeah, look, we'll talk
about contracts later.
327
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:43,906
Right now, we want you to sing.
328
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,496
The world is waiting.
329
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:55,106
♪ Swanee, ach ich lieb
dich, ach ich lieb dich ♪
330
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,292
♪ Mein altes Swanee ♪
331
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,044
♪ Du bist der schönste Fluss ♪
332
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:06,217
♪ Ich schick dir grossen
Kuss nach D-I-X-I-E ♪
333
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,386
♪ Mammy... ♪
334
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,223
♪ Mammy, ich... ♪
335
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,558
What's wrong?
336
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:14,892
The voice?
337
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,395
No, the voice is
glorious, Schultz...
338
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,108
Out here, but in there...
339
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,943
It's the acoustics, darn it!
340
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,569
What a pity this room
just doesn't do you justice.
341
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,070
We need a big place...
342
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,189
Something to give you
a concert hall sound.
343
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:32,076
The rec hall would be perfect,
but of course we can't use it.
344
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:34,879
You mean... kaput?
345
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:37,715
Eh, maybe it's just
as well, Schultz.
346
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,717
Stardom carries a heavy price.
347
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,886
I mean, sure, it means
fame and fortune,
348
00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:44,822
but is that really all
there is to happiness?
349
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:46,702
Sounds all right to me.
350
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,660
No, call it an omen.
351
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:51,329
The fact that we can't get
into that rec hall for ten minutes
352
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,498
has probably saved
you the unhappy trap
353
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,883
of parties, yachts and starlets.
354
00:13:55,952 --> 00:13:58,503
Of course, it'd mean giving
up your military career,
355
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,138
serving under officers
like Colonel Klink.
356
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,707
Yeah, it'd be too terrible
a sacrifice, Schultz.
357
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,827
I don't mind the big sacrifice,
358
00:14:05,895 --> 00:14:08,329
and as far as money
and starlets is concerned,
359
00:14:08,397 --> 00:14:11,498
it's something I will
have to learn to live with.
360
00:14:13,236 --> 00:14:15,903
I have to get into the rec hall.
361
00:14:15,972 --> 00:14:17,237
But how?
362
00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:19,690
I'll think of something.
363
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:22,760
Perhaps we have to clean inside.
364
00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:25,196
I've got it.
365
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:28,532
We have to clean inside.
366
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,201
He's done it again!
367
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,536
That's it!
368
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:41,090
Eins-zwei-drei,
eins-zwei-drei...
369
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,213
What is all this?
370
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:44,026
Oh, they're a special
cleaning detail.
371
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,316
Cleaning? I wasn't told.
372
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,363
Don't worry... I'll be
with them every minute.
373
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,281
There are secret
papers in there and maps.
374
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,438
But they are covered.
375
00:14:50,506 --> 00:14:53,524
Besides, we will be on
the other end of the room.
376
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:54,775
Well...
377
00:14:54,844 --> 00:14:56,127
It's all right.
378
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:58,629
The box is full of
cleaning rags, that's all.
379
00:14:58,697 --> 00:14:59,630
Make it quick.
380
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,465
Ja, just cleaning rags.
381
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:02,800
I said all right.
382
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:05,180
It looks like a big
box for cleaning rags,
383
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:06,470
but that's what it is.
384
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,973
Rags, that's all... rags!
385
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:13,088
Did you see how I
fooled that stupid trooper
386
00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:15,663
and told him there were
only cleaning rags in the box?
387
00:15:15,732 --> 00:15:18,132
Yeah... very sharp, Schultz.
388
00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:20,467
Only cleaning rags!
389
00:15:20,536 --> 00:15:22,999
Yeah, told him
five or six times.
390
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:26,352
Um... Schultz, you ought to
do some breathing exercises.
391
00:15:26,376 --> 00:15:28,443
Face the wall.
392
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,810
Deep breath.
393
00:15:32,882 --> 00:15:34,793
The mic is connected
to the lights.
394
00:15:34,817 --> 00:15:38,486
It will start recording
when you turn on the switch.
395
00:15:38,555 --> 00:15:39,987
Schultz, we're all set.
396
00:15:41,224 --> 00:15:42,368
This is it.
397
00:15:42,392 --> 00:15:44,592
Oh, I'm so excited.
398
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:49,780
Wh-Why is it closed?
399
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,360
Oh, that's
professional technique.
400
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,796
We don't want the sound of
the machine to get on the record
401
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:56,119
do we, Schultz?
402
00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:59,122
Well... this is it.
403
00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:00,836
Go right ahead, songbird.
404
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,588
Here comes the bad
news for Nelson Eddy.
405
00:16:03,612 --> 00:16:07,831
I'll be back in an hour with
Colonel Schneider and his staff.
406
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:11,502
Have all security precautions
been strictly observed?
407
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:14,383
Oh, Herr General, don't I
always do a good job for you?
408
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,840
If you did, I
wouldn't be asking.
409
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,887
One more thing,
General Burkhalter.
410
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:21,845
I find that I will be able
to rearrange my schedule,
411
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,474
so if you like, I can be
present at your meeting.
412
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:28,151
No, this is a highly
confidential matter.
413
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,554
I can't attend and a reporter
of the Shopping News
414
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:31,806
knows all about it?
415
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:37,144
Klink, you need a vacation.
416
00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:46,453
♪ Swanee, ach ich lieb
dich, ach ich lieb dich ♪
417
00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:49,923
♪ Mein altes Swanee... ♪
418
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,653
♪ Und Mammy, meine
Mammy, liebe Mammy... ♪
419
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,033
What's this?
420
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,784
Nothing, Herr Kommandant.
421
00:17:05,808 --> 00:17:08,309
Just singing and...
and... and cleaning.
422
00:17:08,377 --> 00:17:10,355
You know this
place is restricted.
423
00:17:10,379 --> 00:17:11,857
Is this one of your
ideas, Hogan?
424
00:17:11,881 --> 00:17:13,147
Nein, Herr Kommandant.
425
00:17:13,216 --> 00:17:15,983
Uh, the prisoner
Newkirk, he has an uncle
426
00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:17,951
who is an impresario in London.
427
00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:19,854
He makes people famous
428
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,506
from music and concerts
all over the world,
429
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:25,008
so I send him this record,
430
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,845
even though it
means a big sacrifice
431
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,346
and I have to take away
432
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,849
all the starlets
from Nelson Eddy.
433
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,778
That will do,
Schultz... dismissed!
434
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,837
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
435
00:17:35,905 --> 00:17:37,549
We'd better be going, fellas.
436
00:17:37,573 --> 00:17:39,551
No, Hogan, uh... you stay here.
437
00:17:39,575 --> 00:17:41,386
I'm not quite
finished with this yet.
438
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:44,156
We were just trying to
do Schultz a favor, sir.
439
00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:45,340
Newkirk?
440
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,447
Uh... sir?
441
00:17:47,516 --> 00:17:50,951
Tell me about this
uncle of yours, eh?
442
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:53,120
Uh... oh, yes, yes.
443
00:17:53,189 --> 00:17:55,622
Well, there's not
much to tell really, sir.
444
00:17:55,691 --> 00:17:57,791
He... he's just an uncle.
445
00:17:57,860 --> 00:18:00,961
He's a tall fellow,
about this big
446
00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:04,631
and, uh... he's
married to my aunt.
447
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:08,468
And, uh... he's an
impresario, huh?
448
00:18:08,537 --> 00:18:10,271
Oh...
449
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:17,311
And you came here to
record this for your uncle
450
00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:21,249
because of Schultz's
magnificent voice?
451
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,533
It's really not bad, sir.
452
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,379
With a little bit of training,
he could probably...
453
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:28,772
You know, Hogan, I find
this whole thing quite strange.
454
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:31,175
Quite strange indeed.
455
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:34,511
Why him, when you
could have recorded
456
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,214
some really fine
violin music, eh?
457
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,183
You mean you?
458
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:41,352
You might consider?
459
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:44,488
Well, we never dared hope, sir.
460
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,240
You know, Hogan, the trouble
with you is you don't think big.
461
00:18:47,309 --> 00:18:48,876
I will assemble
my string quartet,
462
00:18:48,945 --> 00:18:50,578
and you can send that impresario
463
00:18:50,646 --> 00:18:52,446
some music that
he can really use.
464
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,175
Absolutely smashing idea, sir.
465
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,844
We'll do it first thing
in the morning, sir.
466
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,178
Why wait? Let's do
it right now. Now?
467
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,947
You take this machine
back to my office.
468
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:03,140
I will gather my musicians
and we will record immediately.
469
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:06,811
And I promise you,
it'll be a wonder.
470
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,145
Yes, sir.
471
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,869
I'll be a wonder all right.
472
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,486
Ready, Herr Hüper?
473
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:17,154
Herr Räder, Herr Eugen.
474
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:18,656
And now, gentlemen,
475
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:21,492
the Hammelburg Quartet
will perform for posterity.
476
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,561
It's a privilege
to be present, sir.
477
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:26,130
Are we ready to
go on the air, huh?
478
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:27,264
Yes, sir.
479
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,334
On the air is right.
480
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,003
That's all there is in this box.
481
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,582
Let's hope he doesn't find out,
482
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,050
because it won't take him long
483
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,901
to figure where
the real recorder is.
484
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,710
Ready to roll, Hogan?
485
00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:43,497
All right, gentlemen, let's go.
486
00:19:43,565 --> 00:19:45,332
One, two, three.
487
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:10,541
Now, gentlemen, Colonel
Schneider will brief you
488
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:14,378
on the Luftwaffe ground support
plan for our coming offensive.
489
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:15,879
Thank you, General.
490
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,315
We have six new
squadrons of fighter...
491
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,350
We need more light in here.
492
00:20:23,372 --> 00:20:27,874
We have six new
squadrons of fighter bombers.
493
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:30,061
They will operate
in coordination
494
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:33,397
with the Panzer battalions
beginning on the 21st.
495
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:37,251
Communications will
be on the 15-meter band.
496
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,630
The meeting has started.
497
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,187
So has Klink's concert.
498
00:20:40,256 --> 00:20:42,739
I don't know which way
to look for the explosion.
499
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:09,183
The second group will form at
the Rhine bridge on the 22nd.
500
00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:12,352
The code word is "Walküre."
501
00:21:12,421 --> 00:21:15,172
They will advance
toward the north.
502
00:21:30,023 --> 00:21:34,691
The aircraft will be concealed
at the Stuttgart airdrome.
503
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,327
Ah, General Burkhalter.
504
00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:56,163
How did the, uh...
you-know-what go?
505
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,715
The meeting is over,
506
00:21:58,784 --> 00:22:01,062
but what is going on here?
507
00:22:01,086 --> 00:22:03,532
Oh, we're just having
a little musicale.
508
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,183
Oh, by the way,
General Burkhalter,
509
00:22:05,207 --> 00:22:08,025
may I present the members
of the Hammelburg Quartet?
510
00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:11,679
Herr Hüper, Herr
Räder, Herr Eugen.
511
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:16,049
We are recording
Mozart's D-major Quartet.
512
00:22:16,118 --> 00:22:18,652
Köchel number 499.
513
00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:20,248
I play the first
violin, of course.
514
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:21,683
How nice, Klink.
515
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:23,585
We'll be running
along, Commandant.
516
00:22:23,609 --> 00:22:25,249
A very compelling
performance. Naturally.
517
00:22:25,277 --> 00:22:27,488
Herr General, would you
like to hear the record?
518
00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:28,712
I'm really quite busy.
519
00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:30,058
Oh, it'll just take a moment.
520
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:32,060
Hogan, why don't you play
the record we just made?
521
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:33,494
The general
would like to hear it.
522
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,902
You know, it's really
quite marvelous,
523
00:22:35,971 --> 00:22:38,083
especially the second movement.
524
00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:39,874
Klink, forgive me.
525
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:42,409
Amateur musicals have
little fascination for me.
526
00:22:42,478 --> 00:22:45,479
I happen to be in
the middle of a war.
527
00:22:54,557 --> 00:22:56,490
Not too bad.
528
00:22:56,559 --> 00:22:57,825
Mmm, if I close my eyes,
529
00:22:57,894 --> 00:23:00,160
I'd think it was
Kleinschmidt himself.
530
00:23:09,071 --> 00:23:11,182
I don't understand why I
haven't heard from them.
531
00:23:11,206 --> 00:23:13,719
I arranged for that record to
get to London two weeks ago.
532
00:23:13,743 --> 00:23:16,844
It just might be that they would
prefer more popular music.
533
00:23:16,913 --> 00:23:18,178
Popular?
534
00:23:18,247 --> 00:23:20,167
Yeah, we wrote down
some of the current favorites
535
00:23:20,215 --> 00:23:21,348
as best we could remember.
536
00:23:21,417 --> 00:23:23,183
These might have
more appeal, sir.
537
00:23:23,252 --> 00:23:24,897
Oh, really, you think
they might, huh?
538
00:23:24,921 --> 00:23:26,353
Yeah.
539
00:23:26,422 --> 00:23:29,523
Oh, good... key of C.
540
00:23:29,592 --> 00:23:31,925
It might be worth a try.
541
00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:40,217
You understand,
Colonel, it is important
542
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:43,220
that Berlin does not
hear about all our losses
543
00:23:43,288 --> 00:23:46,156
from that last
Luftwaffe attack plan.
544
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:49,493
I still don't understand
what went wrong.
545
00:23:49,561 --> 00:23:52,496
They had more planes
in the air than we did.
546
00:23:52,564 --> 00:23:54,665
That American Air Corps...
547
00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:58,168
I never want to hear
about them again ever!
548
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,499
Not bad, huh?
549
00:24:12,568 --> 00:24:13,833
He's doing beautifully.
550
00:24:13,902 --> 00:24:15,335
And after he gets this done,
551
00:24:15,404 --> 00:24:16,844
he's going to tackle
"Anchors Aweigh"
552
00:24:16,905 --> 00:24:18,838
and "America the Beautiful."
37072
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