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1
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:50,727
Got it.
2
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:51,916
Good.
3
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,238
So, that's the baby that's
been holding up the Allied drive.
4
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,992
The Germans planted tons
of them to block our advance.
5
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,577
I never saw a land mine
put together like that.
6
00:01:02,613 --> 00:01:05,514
They must have had their
hands full trying to disarm it, huh?
7
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:07,360
Our tanks have
slowed down to a crawl.
8
00:01:07,384 --> 00:01:08,928
That makes these quite a prize.
9
00:01:08,952 --> 00:01:10,185
They sure were.
10
00:01:10,221 --> 00:01:11,620
A company of British commandos
11
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,388
got pretty badly
mauled getting them.
12
00:01:13,424 --> 00:01:15,390
How are the repairs
to the tunnel coming?
13
00:01:15,426 --> 00:01:17,337
Melting snow is
giving us a little trouble.
14
00:01:17,361 --> 00:01:19,272
We had to start a new
tunnel in Barracks 5.
15
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:21,140
It'll join the old one
past the cave-in.
16
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,264
All right.
17
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:23,799
Let's see how it's coming.
18
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,910
Getting rid of the dirt okay?
19
00:01:34,945 --> 00:01:36,088
No problem.
20
00:01:36,112 --> 00:01:37,412
How's it going?
21
00:01:37,448 --> 00:01:38,925
Almost to the old
tunnel now, sir.
22
00:01:38,949 --> 00:01:40,092
All right, keep them at it.
23
00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:42,217
I promised London they'd
have the film by tomorrow.
24
00:01:42,252 --> 00:01:43,201
We'll make it, sir.
25
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,814
Any of the Krauts
been sniffing around?
26
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,654
They don't suspect a thing.
27
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:49,124
If they find this
tunnel, I'll eat my hat.
28
00:01:49,159 --> 00:01:51,460
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
29
00:01:51,495 --> 00:01:55,229
Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
eins, zwei, drei, vier.
30
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,574
He caved in the bleeding tunnel.
31
00:02:08,244 --> 00:02:10,095
Bon appétit.
32
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,099
You won't believe
this, Herr Kommandant,
33
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,967
but I was checking
the plumbing, Mm-hmm.
34
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,424
Looking for a leaky pipe.
35
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:40,837
Ja, ja... did you find it?
36
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,928
Not yet, but I'm
going to keep looking.
37
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,108
The cooler!
38
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,443
Schultz, have the
prisoners fill in the tunnel.
39
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:48,900
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
40
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,113
And double the guard.
41
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,781
If they see anything suspicious,
42
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:54,372
tell them to shoot first
and ask questions later.
43
00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:56,407
They shoot first,
ask questions later.
44
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,610
You won't get many
answers that way, sir.
45
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,311
Right, Herr Kommandant.
46
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,325
Schultz, I gave you an order.
47
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,681
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
48
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,050
Let's go!
49
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,420
Hogan, Hogan, when
will you ever learn?
50
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:11,735
These foolish escape attempts.
51
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,891
It gives the men
something to do.
52
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,427
In all the time you've been here,
how many men have escaped?
53
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,230
None. Exactly.
54
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,949
Face it, Hogan... for you
and your men this war is over.
55
00:03:20,984 --> 00:03:21,967
That is good news.
56
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,784
We'll pack and
leave in the morning.
57
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,938
Dismissed.
58
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,777
What do we do
after we pack, sir?
59
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,522
We got to get that film out.
60
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,646
How?
61
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:35,681
The tunnel's gone;
62
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:36,681
they doubled the guard.
63
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:37,682
We can't get out.
64
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,679
I didn't say anything
about us getting out.
65
00:03:39,703 --> 00:03:41,130
I said we'd get the film out.
66
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:42,887
Why don't we ask
one of the Germans
67
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,856
to drop it off when
he goes into town?
68
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,793
I think Klink would probably
be the best choice, don't you?
69
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,429
Ask Klink to deliver
microfilm to one of our agents?
70
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:53,198
He's the one man who can
leave camp whenever he wants.
71
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,644
Who's going to twist his arm?
72
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,435
Let's keep violence out of this.
73
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,470
Take my word for it:
74
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,271
The colonel will be delighted
to be our messenger.
75
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,558
It's all set, Colonel.
76
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,059
The underground
says they'll have
77
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,594
a woman agent
in town by tonight.
78
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,485
You told them we
wanted somebody special.
79
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,886
They guaranteed a knockout.
80
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:15,937
Good.
81
00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:17,805
Carter, bring Schultz in here.
82
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,940
Okay.
83
00:04:18,975 --> 00:04:20,575
One fat sergeant coming up.
84
00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:22,922
Schultz? I thought
Klink was our target.
85
00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:26,247
He is, but he might get
suspicious if it comes from me.
86
00:04:26,283 --> 00:04:28,483
So we hook Schultz...
Back up my story.
87
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,951
Got it.
88
00:04:29,986 --> 00:04:32,720
All right, Operation Merry
Widow is about to begin.
89
00:04:34,257 --> 00:04:36,035
You wanted to see me, Colonel?
90
00:04:36,059 --> 00:04:37,525
Yeah, Schultz,
we're going to have
91
00:04:37,561 --> 00:04:38,659
a little card game tonight
92
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,562
and wanted to know
if we can count you in.
93
00:04:40,597 --> 00:04:41,729
I think I have no time.
94
00:04:41,764 --> 00:04:42,908
Other plans, Schultzy?
95
00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:44,843
Yeah, like maybe
a little rendezvous?
96
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:45,833
Come clean, Schultz,
97
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,246
we've heard all about it.
98
00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:50,705
You dog... you sly, sly dog.
99
00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:52,674
You're a lucky man, Schultz.
100
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,176
I don't understand.
101
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,644
The Countess Marlene,
the Merry Widow.
102
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,413
She picked you, didn't she?
103
00:04:58,448 --> 00:05:00,359
Countess Marlene? Merry Widow?
104
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,017
He hasn't heard of her.
105
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:05,003
Only the most famous
temptress in all of Europe.
106
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,466
Come on, Schultz, don't be cute.
107
00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:07,822
Sure... isn't a man alive
108
00:05:07,857 --> 00:05:09,302
hasn't heard of the Merry Widow.
109
00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:11,193
Especially after
that thing with Hitler.
110
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,508
The Führer?
111
00:05:13,263 --> 00:05:14,562
No!
112
00:05:14,597 --> 00:05:15,897
It didn't do him any good.
113
00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,182
They say she only loves fat men.
114
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,952
That's why she picked Göring.
115
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,321
Men don't pick
her; she picks them.
116
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:25,168
According to the old rumor mill,
117
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,802
that's why she came to town.
118
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,255
She's crackers about
someone in this camp.
119
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:31,496
Yeah, we figured it was you.
120
00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,882
All the world loves a fat man.
121
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:37,552
Maybe she's heard about your
reputation with the barmaids.
122
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,387
It gets around, huh?
123
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,122
Uh... did you get the flowers?
124
00:05:41,158 --> 00:05:42,190
Flowers?
125
00:05:42,225 --> 00:05:43,257
That's her style.
126
00:05:43,293 --> 00:05:45,293
She sends flowers,
then the phone call.
127
00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:46,961
"I'm, uh... I'm waiting, lover."
128
00:05:46,996 --> 00:05:49,264
And then, paradise.
129
00:05:49,299 --> 00:05:52,817
Paradise... paradise.
130
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:02,110
You haven't much time
to get in shape, Schultz.
131
00:06:02,145 --> 00:06:04,207
Oh, I guess she couldn't wait.
132
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,864
I better pick them up.
133
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:10,469
♪ Lover, when
you're near me... ♪
134
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:15,524
Over here, over here...
I'm Sergeant Schultz.
135
00:06:15,559 --> 00:06:16,674
I'll take them.
136
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:19,477
Nein, these flowers
are for Colonel Klink.
137
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:20,978
I am Colonel Klink.
138
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,414
Thank you, sir.
139
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:30,888
"From one who is tired
of worshipping from afar.
140
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:34,192
Soon... Countess Marlene."
141
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,205
Huh, must be some foolish...
142
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,229
You, you... you can't.
143
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:40,432
It's the Merry Widow.
144
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:41,833
No!
145
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,702
You're a lucky man, Commandant.
146
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,336
I don't know any merry widow.
147
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,838
Countess Marlene.
148
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:50,675
Only the number-one
temptress in all of Europe.
149
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,695
She has seen more action
than the First Division.
150
00:06:54,731 --> 00:06:57,682
But I don't remember any...
151
00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:00,352
Countess Marlene?
152
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,620
There was something
about her and Hitler?
153
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,467
Hitler wanted to give up evil.
154
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:07,051
He even offered to shave off...
155
00:07:07,711 --> 00:07:09,211
Hitler?
156
00:07:09,246 --> 00:07:10,428
No.
157
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:13,197
Yeah... but it didn't help.
158
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,199
He wasn't her type.
159
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,737
She didn't like
his funny haircut.
160
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,950
She turned down the Führer?
161
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,273
Ja...
162
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:26,210
Men do not pick
her; she picks them.
163
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,528
And you're it.
164
00:07:27,564 --> 00:07:31,249
That wild, impetuous
girl sending me flowers.
165
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,585
You're going to
get an invitation,
166
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:38,490
then the telephone
will ring, and then...
167
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:42,727
"I am waiting, lover."
168
00:07:44,848 --> 00:07:47,548
I better take these inside
and put them in water.
169
00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:50,018
Well, tough luck, Schultz.
170
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,620
I don't understand.
171
00:07:51,655 --> 00:07:53,755
Why him when she could have me?
172
00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:56,124
Probably a masochist.
173
00:08:03,099 --> 00:08:05,500
I guess the old Klink
magic has struck again.
174
00:08:05,535 --> 00:08:06,967
I'm used to it, Hogan.
175
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:08,914
Women are always
sending me things.
176
00:08:08,938 --> 00:08:10,516
Flowers from the Merry Widow.
177
00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:11,872
That plant over there...
178
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,719
Another gift from
an old admirer.
179
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,288
Can one man have so much?
180
00:08:15,312 --> 00:08:16,977
I can't fight it, Hogan.
181
00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:19,681
Women are always
putting me on a pedestal.
182
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:21,627
I can see what attracted her...
183
00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:23,529
Your good looks, your bearing.
184
00:08:23,553 --> 00:08:25,119
Uh, just a minute, sir.
185
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,568
You sleep in this jacket, sir?
186
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:29,790
My jacket?
187
00:08:31,127 --> 00:08:32,805
Maybe I'd better
have it pressed.
188
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:33,928
Uh, forget it, sir.
189
00:08:33,963 --> 00:08:35,296
I don't think that'll help.
190
00:08:35,332 --> 00:08:36,864
It should really be tailored.
191
00:08:36,899 --> 00:08:38,199
Here.
192
00:08:38,235 --> 00:08:39,434
Yeah, that's better.
193
00:08:39,469 --> 00:08:41,369
You've got to
look your best, sir.
194
00:08:41,404 --> 00:08:43,371
It's a pity LeBeau's
in the cooler.
195
00:08:43,406 --> 00:08:45,906
He's a fine tailor... He
could really help you.
196
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,187
Oh, I'll have him
released, Hogan.
197
00:08:48,211 --> 00:08:50,256
He's learned his lesson by now.
198
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,913
Oh, I appreciate this
very much, Hogan.
199
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,149
Forget it, sir, forget it.
200
00:08:55,184 --> 00:08:57,852
One day you can
do something for me.
201
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,172
Good job.
202
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,118
Well, at least you're
giving me a trade
203
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:04,253
for after the war.
204
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,643
It's better than the cooler.
205
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,022
Now it just needs pressing.
206
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,346
Yeah.
207
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,715
All she's got to do is
get the jacket off Klink,
208
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,250
slip the film out and take off.
209
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,352
A plane is being
arranged to pick her up.
210
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,122
The colonel's?
211
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:19,257
Mm-hmm.
212
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,003
Hmph! I don't understand.
213
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,127
I ask you... who would you pick?
214
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,662
Don't fight it, Schultz.
215
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:25,864
Fortunes of war.
216
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,266
How much taste can
this Merry Widow have
217
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,967
if she wants the colonel?
218
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,030
Schultz!
219
00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:33,354
Oh! Lots of taste,
Herr Kommandant.
220
00:09:33,389 --> 00:09:34,756
That's what she has.
221
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,107
Is my jacket ready?
222
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:37,687
Be just a few minutes,
Herr Kommandant.
223
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:38,676
We'll bring it over, sir.
224
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:39,755
You better hurry it up.
225
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,156
She'll be calling anytime now.
226
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,581
A world of taste,
Herr Kommandant.
227
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:47,218
She's a very tasteful
lady, and a very lucky one.
228
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,254
Oh, shut up.
229
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,793
She's got to go out of her mind.
230
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:56,972
Maybe you're right.
231
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,764
Oh, Hogan, you should
have heard her on the phone.
232
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,744
What a voice...
Oh, she's all woman.
233
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,735
Shouldn't you be leaving, sir?
234
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:04,913
There's no rush.
235
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,098
Make them wait.
236
00:10:06,122 --> 00:10:08,289
They become all
the more anxious.
237
00:10:08,325 --> 00:10:11,204
I keep forgetting I'm
talking to the master.
238
00:10:11,228 --> 00:10:14,529
You see, in love and war,
the method is the same:
239
00:10:14,564 --> 00:10:18,266
Keep the opponent off guard,
then go forth and conquer.
240
00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:20,435
I wish I had a pencil
to get this down, sir.
241
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:22,203
You will give
classes after the war?
242
00:10:22,238 --> 00:10:23,538
Now, there's a thought.
243
00:10:23,573 --> 00:10:24,573
If everything we hear
244
00:10:24,608 --> 00:10:26,207
about the countess is true, sir,
245
00:10:26,242 --> 00:10:28,075
this may be the
last time I see you.
246
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:32,847
What a way to go.
247
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,749
What a way to go.
248
00:10:34,785 --> 00:10:36,451
Uh, Commandant?
249
00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:37,952
Be kind.
250
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,305
Good evening.
251
00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:58,840
Good evening, Colonel.
252
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,007
Come in.
253
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,730
You're late.
254
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,865
Oh, I'm sorry.
255
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,933
Um, there was an
emergency at camp...
256
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,334
A top-level decision.
257
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,770
The traffic was terrible.
258
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,572
I hurried as much
as I could... honest.
259
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,686
Just so that you're here.
260
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,143
Yes.
261
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,479
Sometimes, Colonel, it pays
to keep a woman waiting.
262
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:23,915
And waiting.
263
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:27,152
I've heard so much
about you, Colonel.
264
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:31,005
You're much better
looking than your pictures.
265
00:11:33,409 --> 00:11:36,010
And I've waited such a long time
266
00:11:36,045 --> 00:11:38,246
for this little rendezvous.
267
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,681
Have you?
268
00:11:39,716 --> 00:11:42,583
Mmm... and now
that I'm close to you,
269
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:46,354
I find you even more
attractive than I thought.
270
00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:49,223
Those blue eyes.
271
00:11:49,258 --> 00:11:52,109
That full mouth.
272
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,440
I'm in the presence
of a love god.
273
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,516
Oh, you shouldn't
have done that.
274
00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:05,006
I lost control.
275
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:06,590
Some wine, Colonel?
276
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:07,759
Please.
277
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,064
You know, I think in you...
278
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:17,568
I've finally met my match.
279
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:18,903
Oh, I'm so sorry.
280
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,237
Oh, oh, it's nothing.
281
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,907
It's... it's just
a little stain.
282
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,074
You'd better take that off.
283
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,943
Oh, yes, yes, I will, I will.
284
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,079
Oh, thank you.
285
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,649
You'd better slip this on
while I try to clean that.
286
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,462
Do you know that
a suspicious person
287
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,920
might think that you
had done this purposely?
288
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:38,923
Oh... I'll be back in a minute.
289
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,257
Mmm... don't.
290
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:43,327
You make me hunger
all the more for your lips.
291
00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:45,562
Oh, hurry... please.
292
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,715
Klink left 30 minutes ago.
293
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:50,062
She should have the film by now.
294
00:12:50,086 --> 00:12:52,420
Colonel, we got a
problem, and a big one.
295
00:12:52,455 --> 00:12:53,421
What's up?
296
00:12:53,456 --> 00:12:54,855
This is Sergeant Meadows, sir...
297
00:12:54,891 --> 00:12:56,324
The SS just brought him in.
298
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,459
He led the raid on
the land mine factory.
299
00:12:58,495 --> 00:12:59,760
We got what you went after.
300
00:12:59,796 --> 00:13:01,296
The microfilms were
turned over to us.
301
00:13:01,331 --> 00:13:03,464
They should be on their
way to London by now.
302
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,010
Well, you'd better
try and stop them.
303
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,346
Here, this is what London needs.
304
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,937
That's a model of
the actual land mine.
305
00:13:09,972 --> 00:13:11,639
What's on the microfilm?
306
00:13:11,675 --> 00:13:12,751
An early experimental version,
307
00:13:12,775 --> 00:13:14,942
all been completely changed.
308
00:13:14,977 --> 00:13:17,478
If our boys start to
use those for a guide,
309
00:13:17,514 --> 00:13:19,754
they'll be blown to bits.
310
00:13:30,827 --> 00:13:32,667
I'm waiting, Püppchen.
311
00:13:45,441 --> 00:13:46,441
Hello.
312
00:13:47,644 --> 00:13:48,676
I was just leaving.
313
00:13:48,711 --> 00:13:50,310
I'm glad I caught you.
314
00:13:51,881 --> 00:13:53,213
What?!
315
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,450
That's wonderful...
316
00:13:55,485 --> 00:13:57,296
All of Hammelburg is
crawling with Gestapo
317
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,654
and you jeopardize my
life with the wrong film.
318
00:13:59,689 --> 00:14:02,022
I should have left
when I had a chance.
319
00:14:02,057 --> 00:14:03,102
Maybe you'd better go.
320
00:14:03,126 --> 00:14:05,993
A lot of lives are at stake.
321
00:14:06,029 --> 00:14:08,162
We'll try to come
up with another plan.
322
00:14:08,198 --> 00:14:09,530
No, no.
323
00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:10,998
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
324
00:14:11,033 --> 00:14:14,935
I'm just jumpy, I... I think I
need a vacation from war.
325
00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:17,571
I-I-I'm sorry.
326
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,806
I'll be all right.
327
00:14:18,842 --> 00:14:19,924
Good girl.
328
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,472
We've got a model
of the real thing here.
329
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,930
Try to get rid of Klink
as fast as you can
330
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,498
and we'll get it over to you.
331
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:28,849
How much time do you have?
332
00:14:28,885 --> 00:14:30,746
The plane is picking
me up at midnight.
333
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,419
Good.
334
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,788
The first thing I
want you to do is...
335
00:14:34,824 --> 00:14:37,169
Come to your tiger,
my little apple strudel.
336
00:14:37,193 --> 00:14:38,159
Out. Take...
337
00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:39,160
Out? Out.
338
00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:40,472
You want me to go?
339
00:14:40,496 --> 00:14:42,007
You... you can't be serious.
340
00:14:42,031 --> 00:14:42,997
It's irresistible me.
341
00:14:43,032 --> 00:14:45,733
Remember... the blue eyes,
342
00:14:45,768 --> 00:14:47,134
the kissable lips?
343
00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:48,447
Think... you'll never
forgive yourself.
344
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:49,837
Out!
345
00:14:49,873 --> 00:14:51,939
How can you turn all this down?
346
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,255
Good night, Colonel.
347
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,735
Here he comes.
348
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,171
Colonel Hogan, Colonel Hogan...
349
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:08,339
I can't say.
350
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:10,041
You wouldn't believe it.
351
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,876
The Countess Marlene called me.
352
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:13,861
No kidding?
353
00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:16,380
Queen bee has
sent for her honey.
354
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,527
Schultz going in for Klink, huh?
355
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,553
They're putting
in the first team.
356
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,040
Isn't that the colonel's?
357
00:15:26,075 --> 00:15:28,153
Well, we thought it
brightened up the room.
358
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,522
I see nothing... nothing!
359
00:15:29,546 --> 00:15:31,624
Hey, Schultz, what
are you taking her?
360
00:15:31,648 --> 00:15:32,613
Taking her?
361
00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:34,181
Flowers, something.
362
00:15:34,217 --> 00:15:35,783
You can't go there empty-handed.
363
00:15:35,818 --> 00:15:39,287
Yeah, a woman like that is
used to diamonds and furs.
364
00:15:39,322 --> 00:15:40,499
Tell you what, Schultz.
365
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,889
Here, take her this.
366
00:15:41,925 --> 00:15:42,890
She'll love it.
367
00:15:42,926 --> 00:15:43,824
The colonel's?
368
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:44,959
I couldn't... I wouldn't!
369
00:15:44,994 --> 00:15:46,571
The most desirable
woman in Europe.
370
00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:48,029
But I will!
371
00:15:48,064 --> 00:15:50,731
Colonel Hogan, please, you
won't tell the commandant that I...
372
00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:54,101
I hear nothing,
Schultz, nothing.
373
00:15:55,405 --> 00:15:56,405
Good.
374
00:15:59,976 --> 00:16:01,676
Beautiful!
375
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,410
How thoughtful.
376
00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:06,080
Exactly what I wanted.
377
00:16:06,115 --> 00:16:07,815
Me, too.
378
00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:10,517
How can I ever thank you?
379
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,020
I'll make out a schedule.
380
00:16:15,024 --> 00:16:16,301
Who is it?
381
00:16:16,325 --> 00:16:18,358
Colonel Klink.
382
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,434
Oh.
383
00:16:25,368 --> 00:16:26,445
What is it, Colonel?
384
00:16:26,469 --> 00:16:28,535
I've come back to give
you another chance.
385
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:29,536
But I...
386
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,817
Maybe... maybe I
was too much for you.
387
00:16:31,841 --> 00:16:33,619
I know how
overwhelming I can be.
388
00:16:33,643 --> 00:16:35,487
Why, that's funny,
I have a plant
389
00:16:35,511 --> 00:16:37,155
just like that, even the pot.
390
00:16:37,179 --> 00:16:38,245
Not now, Colonel.
391
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,013
Oh, I wouldn't want
you to hate yourself.
392
00:16:40,049 --> 00:16:40,781
Out!
393
00:16:40,817 --> 00:16:41,782
I'm going, I'm going.
394
00:16:41,818 --> 00:16:44,234
This is no way to
treat a love god.
395
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,270
Good night, Colonel.
396
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,761
That is my plant.
397
00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:58,215
Aha!
398
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,696
I'm glad you're here,
Herr Kommandant.
399
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,088
I found this woman
with your plant.
400
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:05,222
Out!
401
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,990
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
402
00:17:09,728 --> 00:17:11,706
You're not going to
take it away, Colonel.
403
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:25,726
Old Hot Lips is back, sir.
404
00:17:25,761 --> 00:17:29,163
I don't think he's
going to be very happy.
405
00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:30,398
Oh, no.
406
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:33,678
You are hereby
restricted to camp,
407
00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:35,180
and starting immediately,
408
00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:39,106
you will march guard
duty until I tell you stop!
409
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,641
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
410
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,573
What do we do now?
411
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,975
Notify London to forget
about those mines.
412
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,665
Not yet.
413
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,033
There's still a little time
414
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,885
before the widow's
plane picks her up.
415
00:17:51,921 --> 00:17:54,889
So what? It's a cinch we
can't get Klink to go back now.
416
00:17:54,924 --> 00:17:56,340
If Klink won't go
to the mountain,
417
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,586
we'll bring the
mountain to Klink.
418
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:58,843
Kinch, get her on the phone.
419
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,711
Tell her to come
here... It's the only way
420
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,379
we hope to get
that plant to her.
421
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,230
Right, Colonel.
422
00:18:03,266 --> 00:18:04,648
But after catching her
423
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,762
with Schultz, Klink will
never agree to see her.
424
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:08,585
Yes, he will.
425
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:11,155
I'm on my way
over to tell him why.
426
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,362
Imagine passing
me up... a colonel...
427
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,914
For that, uh... sergeant.
428
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:22,900
She's twisted, Colonel.
429
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,802
Next thing, it'll be
privates and corporals,
430
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:27,288
and we colonels will
be out of business.
431
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,991
She's obviously
attracted by riffraff.
432
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,825
Then again, she
did pass up Hitler.
433
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:32,843
Hogan!
434
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:35,695
He was a corporal, wasn't he?
435
00:18:35,731 --> 00:18:39,166
Maybe this thing with Schultz
was a moment of madness...
436
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,567
She realizes her mistake
437
00:18:40,602 --> 00:18:43,420
and now she's come
back to the big fellow.
438
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,567
It's too late, Hogan.
439
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:45,817
With me, there's
no second chance.
440
00:18:45,841 --> 00:18:48,175
You're absolutely
right, Colonel.
441
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:51,379
How often does a woman get
a golden opportunity like you?
442
00:18:51,414 --> 00:18:54,715
Hogan, will you
leave that plant alone?
443
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:57,318
And to abuse it,
she should suffer.
444
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:59,486
Exactly!
445
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:05,626
Hello.
446
00:19:05,661 --> 00:19:06,772
Colonel Klink speaking.
447
00:19:06,796 --> 00:19:07,796
Who?
448
00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:09,965
Hogan, it's her.
449
00:19:09,999 --> 00:19:12,533
She's at the gate...
She wants to see me.
450
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:13,534
No.
451
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,535
Yes.
452
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,581
I'll teach her a lesson.
453
00:19:16,605 --> 00:19:18,572
Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
454
00:19:18,607 --> 00:19:21,208
You want her to suffer?
Here's your chance.
455
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:23,311
Obviously, she wants you.
456
00:19:23,346 --> 00:19:26,180
You've got her right here, sir.
457
00:19:26,215 --> 00:19:30,251
Toy with her and
then crush her...
458
00:19:30,286 --> 00:19:33,287
An eye for an eye,
complete rejection.
459
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,258
I'll give her a lesson
she'll never forget.
460
00:19:37,293 --> 00:19:39,773
Have her come to my quarters.
461
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:44,598
Before I get through
with her, she will crawl,
462
00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:47,268
she will beg, but it
will do her no good.
463
00:19:47,303 --> 00:19:49,136
I will be iron.
464
00:19:49,172 --> 00:19:50,452
You better go, Hogan.
465
00:19:52,175 --> 00:19:54,108
Don't let her cry too much, sir.
466
00:19:58,398 --> 00:19:59,363
Hi.
467
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,731
I'm Hogan.
468
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,400
You know what to do.
469
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,768
Yes, I soften him
up and get the plant.
470
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:07,305
It's going to be close...
I only have 15 minutes.
471
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,807
Just one thing... He's
going to play hard to get.
472
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,409
Hard to get?
473
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,643
Him?
474
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,078
He should give stamps.
475
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,041
We'll be right
outside if you need us.
476
00:20:16,065 --> 00:20:17,047
Good luck.
477
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,083
Thank you.
478
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,990
Uh...
479
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,592
What can I do for you?
480
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:31,662
Well, normally I'm a
very shy person, Colonel.
481
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:34,565
I've never done
anything like this before.
482
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,100
I think I understand.
483
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:39,704
But I had this
uncontrollable urge.
484
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,406
I'm so sad for you.
485
00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:46,410
Oh, I could not rest
until I saw you again,
486
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:49,463
and I thought this
would be our night.
487
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,968
We don't need that light.
488
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,003
Hmm?
489
00:20:56,739 --> 00:20:58,222
You seem so distant.
490
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,592
Here I am, hungering
for your lips,
491
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:04,795
and you're making me suffer.
492
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,964
Don't I interest you at all?
493
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:09,399
Earlier perhaps, but not now.
494
00:21:12,821 --> 00:21:14,632
Hmph! It will do you no good.
495
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,640
No good at all.
496
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:25,299
You've suffered enough.
497
00:21:25,334 --> 00:21:28,468
I want much more than
just tonight, Colonel.
498
00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:31,354
I'm yours, 364 days a year.
499
00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,418
Christmas I have to
spend with my mother.
500
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,060
Well, I was thinking
of a souvenir,
501
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:40,430
something I could
have and care for...
502
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,783
A lock of hair?
503
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:45,319
No.
504
00:21:45,354 --> 00:21:46,753
A plant.
505
00:21:46,789 --> 00:21:47,789
Perfect.
506
00:21:47,823 --> 00:21:49,990
A living reminder of you.
507
00:21:50,025 --> 00:21:51,492
It's yours.
508
00:21:51,527 --> 00:21:52,726
And now...
509
00:21:52,761 --> 00:21:53,761
Now.
510
00:21:53,796 --> 00:21:55,096
Some champagne.
511
00:21:55,131 --> 00:21:56,346
Now?
512
00:21:56,382 --> 00:22:01,101
The wonder of your lips
makes this a festive occasion.
513
00:22:01,136 --> 00:22:02,953
I'll get it.
514
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,287
I'll be right back.
515
00:22:10,295 --> 00:22:11,295
Hogan.
516
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,278
I've got it.
517
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:18,669
Hold it... Schultz.
518
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:22,206
What's going on?
519
00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:24,075
My little strudel!
520
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:25,842
W-What are you doing in there?
521
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:28,057
I've been looking for you.
522
00:22:28,081 --> 00:22:29,246
For me?
523
00:22:29,282 --> 00:22:31,882
You're not going
to keep me waiting.
524
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:32,816
In there?
525
00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:34,251
What about the commandant?
526
00:22:34,287 --> 00:22:35,330
He's gone out.
527
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,687
Hurry.
528
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:40,424
Don't start without me.
529
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:44,867
I'll be right there, Püppchen.
530
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:50,612
Nothing is too good
for my Püppchen.
531
00:22:50,636 --> 00:22:51,768
Ah... Oh!
532
00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:54,438
But I don't know which
makes me more romantic,
533
00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:56,373
champagne or caviar.
534
00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:57,374
Mmm.
535
00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:58,954
I'll get some of that, too.
536
00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:00,293
Mmm.
537
00:23:04,366 --> 00:23:06,450
Shh.
538
00:23:10,756 --> 00:23:13,076
Now, sit in this chair.
539
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,892
Close your eyes.
540
00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:18,996
Stay very still.
541
00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:21,165
I just want to look at you.
542
00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:27,438
Pucker up.
543
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:32,560
There you go, Kinch.
544
00:23:32,595 --> 00:23:33,627
Careful, now.
545
00:23:39,468 --> 00:23:40,867
Püppchen...
546
00:23:40,902 --> 00:23:44,371
Champagne and caviar,
547
00:23:44,406 --> 00:23:49,376
and then one surrenders
to the inevitable.
548
00:23:50,646 --> 00:23:51,612
Bye.
549
00:23:51,647 --> 00:23:52,912
Danke.
550
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:05,191
Aw, I was hoping it would last.
551
00:24:05,227 --> 00:24:07,138
You're a sentimental
fool, Colonel.
552
00:24:07,162 --> 00:24:09,563
Sue me... I like a happy ending.
553
00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:16,221
Püppchen.
554
00:24:17,323 --> 00:24:18,622
Püppchen.
555
00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:24,509
Colonel?
556
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,232
Send her off already?
557
00:24:28,267 --> 00:24:30,078
Poor kid... must
have broken her heart.
558
00:24:30,102 --> 00:24:33,070
As I told you, Hogan, she
had to be taught a lesson.
559
00:24:33,105 --> 00:24:35,116
And the old professor
gave her one, right?
560
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,541
Look, you're not supposed
to be out of the barracks
561
00:24:37,577 --> 00:24:38,542
at this hour.
562
00:24:38,578 --> 00:24:39,788
Oh, you're right, Colonel.
563
00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,023
Boy, I'd sure like
to see you in action.
564
00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:44,026
Next time you'll have
to sell tickets, sir.
565
00:24:44,050 --> 00:24:45,330
Good night.
566
00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:48,568
Püppchen.
567
00:24:48,603 --> 00:24:50,654
Püppchen.
35891
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