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Achtung! Achtung!
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Everybody, achtung, achtung!
3
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:57,355
Achtung, everybody...
It's a barracks inspection!
4
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:02,360
I want everything put
back into the footlocker!
5
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:08,066
I want the windows
washed inside and out!
6
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:11,102
I want the walls scrubbed!
7
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There is going to be inspection
by the commandant himself!
8
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It's okay, Schultz.
9
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It's all clear outside.
10
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What a day, what a day.
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I'm more sergeant at a
supply depot than at the front.
12
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Schultz, where's
my pumpernickel?
13
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Oh.
14
00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:30,538
I put it where it
won't be squashed.
15
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I have it someplace.
16
00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:36,277
I put it where it
won't... won't...
17
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,458
Hey, look, a pumpernickel pizza!
18
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,461
A pumpernickel pizza!
19
00:01:42,485 --> 00:01:43,930
That's a good one, huh?
20
00:01:43,954 --> 00:01:45,821
Yeah. Thanks, Schultz.
21
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,923
How about a little
snack, Schultzy?
22
00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:50,125
Well... if you insist.
23
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,895
Just to be sociable.
24
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:02,220
The bread man
came through again.
25
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:03,533
Great.
26
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,524
Aha!
27
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,993
That's this section right here.
28
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,360
Only need one more section
29
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,929
to complete the puzzle, huh?
30
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,141
Yeah.
31
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:14,577
When did the bread
man say he could deliver?
32
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:17,335
Final delivery Friday.
33
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:18,336
Great.
34
00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:19,616
Four more days
35
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,784
and we're going to
have a complete picture
36
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,252
of the German West Wall.
37
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:26,978
And our friendly RAF will make
the wall come tumbling down.
38
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:40,770
Where's Schultz?
39
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,060
Sacking out in my bunk.
40
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,394
Sleeping off his lunch.
41
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,508
I wonder what he's
dreaming about.
42
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,198
His dinner.
43
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,745
Achtung!
44
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,763
General Burkhalter,
what a surprise.
45
00:02:50,787 --> 00:02:53,171
It's supposed to be a surprise.
46
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,908
I like to drop in and
inspect camp security,
47
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,593
especially when
Colonel Klink is out.
48
00:02:58,629 --> 00:03:00,746
Show a little respect
for the general, men.
49
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:01,747
Attention!
50
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:02,848
Dress right! Dress!
51
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,149
Ah, you'll have to excuse
52
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,695
the breach of
military etiquette, sir.
53
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,464
The men aren't used to having
generals sneaking in on them.
54
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,454
Although you weren't
really sneaking...
55
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:10,455
You just sort of surprised them.
56
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,456
Why, you certainly did.
57
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:12,440
Didn't he, fellas?
58
00:03:12,476 --> 00:03:13,570
Right, sir. Sure did.
59
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:14,837
I've never been so surprised
60
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:15,861
in me life, sir.
61
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:16,861
Me, too.
62
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,063
You caught us red-handed.
63
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,698
Of course we
weren't doing anything
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00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,332
for you to catch us at,
65
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,818
but if we had been, you'd
have caught us red-handed,
66
00:03:23,853 --> 00:03:25,587
which we all know we weren't!
67
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,455
What a surprise if we were!
68
00:03:27,491 --> 00:03:29,607
Why is he so nervous?
69
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,976
I'm not nervous;
I'm just surprised.
70
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,051
Stand aside!
71
00:03:42,072 --> 00:03:46,074
And just what is this?
72
00:03:46,109 --> 00:03:48,629
I think it's what
we call a Schultz.
73
00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:54,249
On your feet, Schultz!
74
00:03:54,284 --> 00:03:57,686
General Burkhalter,
what are you doing here?
75
00:03:57,721 --> 00:03:59,053
First suppose you tell me
76
00:03:59,089 --> 00:04:00,688
what you were doing there.
77
00:04:00,723 --> 00:04:01,489
Well...
78
00:04:01,524 --> 00:04:02,324
You're lying!
79
00:04:02,359 --> 00:04:03,024
Did you see...
80
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:04,109
Enough!
81
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,961
I don't want to hear
any more of your lies.
82
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,581
That's the only one I had.
83
00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:12,800
Schultz, evidently
your memory is failing.
84
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:16,037
You seem to have forgotten
which side you are on.
85
00:04:16,072 --> 00:04:18,389
Oh, I'm on our side!
86
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,760
But you have trouble
remembering who's on their side.
87
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,512
Oh, the enemy!
88
00:04:23,547 --> 00:04:25,914
Excellent, Schultz.
89
00:04:25,949 --> 00:04:28,316
Your memory isn't
altogether gone.
90
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:30,519
A transfer to the Russian Front
91
00:04:30,554 --> 00:04:32,653
will completely restore it.
92
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,940
To the Russian Front?
93
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,825
It works wonders
for memory failures.
94
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,194
In just a few days,
95
00:04:39,229 --> 00:04:43,214
you won't be able
to forget the enemy.
96
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:44,399
Guards.
97
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,375
Tell the bread man
98
00:04:54,411 --> 00:04:55,655
we can't wait till Friday.
99
00:04:55,679 --> 00:04:57,056
We've got to have that picture
100
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,157
delivered by tomorrow.
101
00:04:58,181 --> 00:04:59,881
What if he can't do it?
102
00:04:59,917 --> 00:05:01,494
Then we'll have to work out
103
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,484
another delivery system.
104
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,385
Oh, boy, Schultz
is our only link
105
00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:05,487
to the supply depot.
106
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:06,655
And when he's gone,
107
00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:07,867
you know where that leaves us.
108
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,402
Yeah, with a missing link.
109
00:05:09,426 --> 00:05:10,937
Maybe we could
delay Schultz's transfer,
110
00:05:10,961 --> 00:05:12,972
at least until after
we get the picture.
111
00:05:12,996 --> 00:05:14,307
Klink's got to sign it
112
00:05:14,331 --> 00:05:15,475
to make it official.
113
00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:17,777
If he doesn't, Schultz stays.
114
00:05:17,801 --> 00:05:20,502
And if Burkhalter
finds out, Klink goes.
115
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,081
We'll just have to make sure
116
00:05:22,105 --> 00:05:23,749
Burkhalter doesn't find it out.
117
00:05:23,773 --> 00:05:25,323
Busy, Colonel?
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Hogan, I am very busy.
119
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:28,126
I have a lot of work to do
120
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,995
and I do not wish
any interruptions.
121
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:30,996
Right you are, sir.
122
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,031
Hilda!
123
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,076
Jawohl.
124
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,477
The commandant
is not to be disturbed:
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00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,544
no calls, no visitors
126
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:37,347
and no interruptions,
no matter who.
127
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:38,336
And that's an order.
128
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:39,337
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant...
129
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,939
uh, Colonel Hogan.
130
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,854
Nobody's going to
bother you now, sir.
131
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,211
Except you.
132
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:47,991
Me? I'd be the last
one to bother you.
133
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:48,980
Yes, I know.
134
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,515
You're always the first one.
135
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:52,951
Now, I told you, I do
not wish to be disturbed.
136
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,964
Quite so, and I can assure you
137
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,508
nobody's going to disturb you.
138
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,492
I feel disturbed.
139
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:02,805
So do I, sir.
140
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:05,630
Colonel, I want you
to tell me it isn't true.
141
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,877
I want you tell me that
you had no part in this.
142
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,713
I want you to tell me the
whole thing is a vicious lie.
143
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:11,937
Of course it is.
144
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,504
What is?
145
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,718
Sergeant Schultz is being
transferred to the Russian Front.
146
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,826
Schultz is transferred
to the Russian Front?
147
00:06:17,861 --> 00:06:18,861
When did this happen?
148
00:06:18,895 --> 00:06:20,139
While you were in town.
149
00:06:20,163 --> 00:06:23,692
I was sure that you wouldn't
do this to the man who thinks
150
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,762
you're the finest
officer in the Luftwaffe...
151
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,697
A faithful, loyal
comrade like Schultz.
152
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,238
The Russian Front.
153
00:06:30,273 --> 00:06:33,174
A target like Schultz
wouldn't have a chance.
154
00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:35,660
Come in, come in.
155
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:38,408
Excuse me, Herr Kommandant.
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00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,599
I know you left orders
not to interrupt...
157
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:45,203
Please, Schultz, you're
not interrupting me.
158
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,783
It's always good to
see an old comrade.
159
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:49,635
What can I do for you, eh?
160
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:50,976
Nothing.
161
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,378
Nothing anybody can do.
162
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,748
I think you're
supposed to sign this.
163
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,150
What is it?
164
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,886
My transfer to
the Russian Front.
165
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,453
Herr Kommandant, please...
166
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,856
I'm in very bad health...
167
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:07,926
My head, my back, my heart.
168
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:13,165
A bullet in any one of
those places could be fatal.
169
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,078
Schultz, Colonel Klink
wouldn't think of losing
170
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,584
his best sergeant.
171
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,870
Ja, but how about me?
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00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:19,854
It is you.
173
00:07:19,889 --> 00:07:20,889
Am I right, sir?
174
00:07:20,924 --> 00:07:22,101
Of course you're right.
175
00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:25,093
Commandant Klink's the one
that writes the orders around here
176
00:07:25,128 --> 00:07:26,094
and no one else, correct, sir?
177
00:07:26,129 --> 00:07:27,095
Absolutely.
178
00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:28,758
You mean I do not have to go?
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00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,693
You heard the commandant;
now, back to your post.
180
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,351
Schultz, so you made
a few stupid mistakes.
181
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:36,988
You're lazy, you're
fat, you sleep on duty.
182
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:41,159
Still, you're a likable clod.
183
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:43,077
Come on, Schultz.
184
00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:44,190
But, Herr Kommandant,
185
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,525
you said I'm your best sergeant.
186
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:46,514
You are, Schultz.
187
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,283
I've never had
another one like you.
188
00:07:48,318 --> 00:07:49,962
I think we ought to just tear up
189
00:07:49,986 --> 00:07:51,431
those orders right
now, don't you, sir?
190
00:07:51,455 --> 00:07:52,987
By the way,
Schultz, who issued...
191
00:07:53,022 --> 00:07:54,551
Uh, Colonel, hey, how about
a picture of you and Schultz?
192
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,752
A picture, Hogan?
193
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,486
I've got a lot of work to do.
194
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:58,810
It'll only take a second, sir.
195
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,389
Just a shot of you
tearing up the transfer.
196
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,524
I think it'd give
it a nice touch.
197
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:03,481
How about... how about this?
198
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:04,810
We let Schultz tear these up.
199
00:08:04,834 --> 00:08:06,700
Uh-huh. Fine, fine.
200
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,631
I'd like to see General
Burkhalter's face
201
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,533
when he hears about this.
202
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:11,522
General Burkhalter?
203
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:12,958
When he hears
about what, Schultz?
204
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,204
That we tore up his orders.
205
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:15,760
Stop that or I'll have you shot!
206
00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,006
Yeah, but you told me...
207
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,731
Never mind what I told
you; do what I tell you now.
208
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:20,732
No more pictures, Hogan.
209
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:21,867
Well, that's all right.
210
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,663
I didn't have a
camera anyway, sir.
211
00:08:23,687 --> 00:08:25,030
Hogan, when was
the general here?
212
00:08:25,054 --> 00:08:26,754
This morning... he
came sneaking into camp
213
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:27,990
for a surprise security check.
214
00:08:28,024 --> 00:08:28,989
Is he still here?
215
00:08:29,025 --> 00:08:29,590
Uh-huh.
216
00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:30,592
How do you know?
217
00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:31,776
I can see him.
218
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:32,994
What is he doing?
219
00:08:33,029 --> 00:08:34,278
Standing behind you.
220
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:36,514
Ah!
221
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:39,483
General Burkhalter,
how very nice to see you.
222
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,863
Those surprise
inspections of yours...
223
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,520
They never fail to surprise me.
224
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:43,555
No, indeed.
225
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:44,800
A very wise tactic, sir.
226
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,057
Keeps us on our toes,
227
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,525
doesn't it, Schultz?
228
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,505
He can't even keep on his feet.
229
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,706
Did you get the orders
230
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:51,696
for his transfer, Klink?
231
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:52,780
Yes, sir, I have.
232
00:08:52,816 --> 00:08:55,416
And I must say I
agree with you, sir.
233
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,512
I'm delighted with
your suggestion.
234
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,131
To the Führer I
make suggestions;
235
00:08:58,155 --> 00:09:01,122
to you I make orders,
236
00:09:01,158 --> 00:09:03,135
which I suggest
you carry out at once.
237
00:09:03,159 --> 00:09:04,709
Yes, sir, I will.
238
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,444
And I have.
239
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,429
These orders are all
signed, sealed, delivered,
240
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:10,181
and he's on his way to...
241
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:14,485
General Burkhalter, how
does our camp security look?
242
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,698
I don't know yet.
243
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,800
If Schultz is any
example of your men...
244
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,191
Oh, oh, oh, no, no, he is not.
245
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,876
I can assure you of that, sir.
246
00:09:21,912 --> 00:09:23,978
I consider him a
disgrace to his uniform.
247
00:09:24,014 --> 00:09:26,347
I don't know how he
got to be sergeant.
248
00:09:26,382 --> 00:09:28,466
I don't even know how
he got into the Luftwaffe.
249
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:31,469
I don't know how he
even got to be a German.
250
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:35,639
Maybe he lied about his age.
251
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:36,641
Hogan!
252
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:37,642
At least you haven't lost
253
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:38,777
your sense of humor.
254
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:39,822
I never had one.
255
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:40,890
I'll be around, Klink.
256
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:41,880
Yes, sir.
257
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:42,947
So will I.
258
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,516
We'll see. We'll see...
259
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,551
I've got to hand
it to you, Colonel.
260
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,087
That was the greatest job
261
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,488
of acting I've ever seen.
262
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,201
You played the cringing
bootlicker to perfection.
263
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,669
I am a cringing bootlicker.
264
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,337
That is, I wasn't acting, Hogan.
265
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,595
But you're not going
to sign the transfer.
266
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:58,741
I'm only obeying orders.
267
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,531
Do you realize if you sign that,
268
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:03,067
you're going to be sending
a man to a certain death?
269
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,068
And if I don't,
270
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,070
I'll be sending two of us there.
271
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,472
Schultz, about face.
272
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,547
Four jars of caviar,
two canned hams,
273
00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:17,882
four bottles of cognac.
274
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:19,383
Anything else we need?
275
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:20,351
You're giving old Schultzy
276
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,164
a pretty big list, aren't you?
277
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,532
Who knows when we'll find
278
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,967
another supply
sergeant like him?
279
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,323
Yeah, but still, you know,
280
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,626
he can only carry so
much under that topcoat.
281
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:29,861
He can make two trips.
282
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:31,262
Yeah, or wear two topcoats.
283
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,310
Any luck with Klink?
284
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,712
Yeah, all bad.
285
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,080
Looks like this whole operation
286
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:39,115
is indefinitely postponed.
287
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,588
What? Why?
288
00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:42,290
Schultz has been
confined to his quarters
289
00:10:42,325 --> 00:10:43,707
till he ships out.
290
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,856
Such a magnificent
shopping list I had for him.
291
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,512
Kinch better contact
that bread man
292
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,741
and cancel tomorrow's delivery.
293
00:10:49,765 --> 00:10:52,316
Do you think he can get
us that picture by tomorrow?
294
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,463
It's what the underground said.
295
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,620
There's got to be a way for us
296
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,389
to get to that supply depot.
297
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,858
Klink's really busy now,
298
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,860
so he absolutely
can't be interrupted.
299
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:02,861
So what do we do?
300
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:03,928
Interrupt him.
301
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:06,542
Fräulein Hilda,
please come in here.
302
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,666
I need some help
with this paperwork.
303
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:12,836
Did you bring your pad?
304
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,150
Oh, I left it on my bunk.
305
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,174
Hogan!
306
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,519
It'll just take a second, sir.
307
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:17,823
Sign that.
308
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,390
Thanks, sir.
309
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,664
Just a minute!
310
00:11:22,699 --> 00:11:23,831
What was that I signed?
311
00:11:23,867 --> 00:11:27,001
Just a list of the men for
your work detail tomorrow:
312
00:11:27,037 --> 00:11:27,935
Carter, Newkirk, Kinch, LeBeau.
313
00:11:27,971 --> 00:11:28,819
Oh.
314
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:29,882
Remember they're being punished,
315
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,172
so really make them work.
316
00:11:31,207 --> 00:11:32,819
Don't worry, I'll make
them work, all right,
317
00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:35,760
but, uh, what kind of work
are they supposed to be doing?
318
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:36,873
Helping you load supplies
319
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,396
for the officers' club.
320
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,098
Schultz is the supply sergeant.
321
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,128
He was; you've
confined him to quarters.
322
00:11:42,152 --> 00:11:43,568
Oh.
323
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,163
That means I'll have
to find a replacement.
324
00:11:45,187 --> 00:11:48,155
One thing you could
depend on was his honesty.
325
00:11:48,191 --> 00:11:49,506
He was a man you could trust.
326
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,992
Yeah, I must give
him credit for that.
327
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:54,094
I always could trust Schultz.
328
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,163
He was too stupid
to be dishonest.
329
00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:58,644
Which is more than you
can say for your other men.
330
00:11:58,668 --> 00:11:59,634
Those Krauts are
331
00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:01,202
the biggest thieves
I've ever seen.
332
00:12:01,237 --> 00:12:02,381
That's not true.
333
00:12:02,405 --> 00:12:03,871
Look what they
stole from France.
334
00:12:03,906 --> 00:12:05,039
Yes.
335
00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,619
Took everything
but the Eiffel Tower.
336
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:09,444
But that was the
SS, not the Luftwaffe.
337
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,623
Seen Göring's art
collection lately?
338
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:11,924
You're right.
339
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:14,159
If I ever made one
of those guards
340
00:12:14,183 --> 00:12:15,149
supply sergeant,
341
00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:16,862
there won't be a salted herring
342
00:12:16,886 --> 00:12:18,197
left for the officers' club.
343
00:12:18,221 --> 00:12:20,254
You may not even
have an officers' club.
344
00:12:20,289 --> 00:12:22,923
Only one man that you
can really trust, Colonel.
345
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:23,959
Who's that?
346
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,492
Colonel Wilhelm Klink.
347
00:12:25,528 --> 00:12:27,811
Aah! He's as crooked
as the rest of them...
348
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:31,582
I am the only one I can trust.
349
00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:32,700
Yes, sir.
350
00:12:32,736 --> 00:12:35,014
And you'll be right there
to keep an eye on yourself.
351
00:12:35,038 --> 00:12:36,916
I'll have the men
report for the work detail
352
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:38,139
at 0900 minus ten tomorrow.
353
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,156
Fine, fine.
354
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,157
When?
355
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,909
That's ten minutes of 9:00.
356
00:12:41,944 --> 00:12:44,162
Oh, good, that's even better.
357
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,772
Sliced peaches, 24 cans.
358
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:57,241
Okay, put them in the van.
359
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,611
Kinch.
360
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:06,017
Pears, 24 cans.
361
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,886
Okay, put them in the van.
362
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:10,521
Carter.
363
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:11,956
Paint.
364
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,558
Paint?
365
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,693
Paint.
366
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:16,856
Get it in the van.
367
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,396
I'm sure the men
will think twice
368
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,464
before they break any
more regulations, sir.
369
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,000
You're really
working them today.
370
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,013
Hogan, I'm a great
believer in discipline.
371
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,147
I'm strict, but I'm fair.
372
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:26,415
Yeah, no question about it...
373
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:27,917
You're really making them sweat.
374
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:28,840
Yes, I was hoping...
375
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,285
Why are they all
wearing overcoats?
376
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,137
Well, they have to be
careful of pneumonia.
377
00:13:32,161 --> 00:13:34,128
All right, keep
it moving, fellas.
378
00:13:34,164 --> 00:13:35,975
The commandant's
got a lot more to pick up.
379
00:13:35,999 --> 00:13:37,709
But I've got everything
on the list here.
380
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,344
You better check
it with Newkirk, sir.
381
00:13:39,368 --> 00:13:40,368
Oh.
382
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,037
Where is it?
383
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:43,871
Are we safe?
384
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:44,806
It's now or never.
385
00:13:44,841 --> 00:13:46,351
Where's Colonel
Klink's pumpernickel?
386
00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:47,669
I bring it right out.
387
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,405
Hogan, we don't need
any pumpernickel.
388
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,528
Yes, you do.
389
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,130
Pumpernickel's a
very German bread.
390
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,742
No, we don't need
any pumpernickel,
391
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:54,877
and I hate pumpernickel.
392
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,100
You're being very selfish.
393
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,468
What about the other officers?
394
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,515
If they want some,
they can bring their own.
395
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,906
What if some high-ranking
officer goes into the club
396
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:03,307
and asks for pumpernickel?
397
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,854
High-ranking officers do
not come to our officers' club.
398
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,978
Well, what do you expect
without pumpernickel?
399
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,213
Thank you.
400
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,093
I'm not getting
something we don't need.
401
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,417
In the truck.
402
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:15,520
I happen to know that General
Burkhalter is crazy about pumpernickel.
403
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,855
Now, when he goes to
the officers' club and asks,
404
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,457
and they tell him
we don't have...
405
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,137
General Burkhalter had dinner
406
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,272
at the officers'
club two years ago,
407
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,041
and he hasn't been back since.
408
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,385
In the truck or in
the cooler, Hogan.
409
00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:30,834
Dismissed!
410
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,673
We could break
into the supply depot.
411
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,907
No chance.
412
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:38,276
You saw all those guards.
413
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,289
One lousy loaf of pumpernickel
414
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,158
between us and the
German West Wall.
415
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:43,581
If we could keep Schultz here
416
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:46,584
and General Burkhalter saw
the kind of soldier he really is...
417
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:47,629
He saw that yesterday.
418
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:48,769
No.
419
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:52,790
Nope, he saw what
Schultz has become.
420
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:55,626
What about the man inside?
421
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,695
He ate somebody?
422
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:01,365
What Burkhalter has
to see is the old Schultz,
423
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,469
the fighting machine that had
the respect of this entire camp,
424
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,137
the man who, when he
snapped his fingers, you jumped.
425
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:08,350
Schultz?
426
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:09,585
Our Schultz?
427
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:10,975
Sure, that was five years ago.
428
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:14,278
Obviously, he's suffering
from a deep emotional problem,
429
00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:16,280
a problem that
can only be solved
430
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,883
by the noted psychiatrist,
Dr. von Schramm.
431
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,335
Sir, you haven't
been here five years.
432
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:23,804
How do you know
what Schultz was like?
433
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,474
Overhead the entire story...
as I was telling it to you.
434
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:31,546
Yep, what Burkhalter has to
see is the old Sergeant Schultz.
435
00:15:31,581 --> 00:15:33,158
Well, how do we do that?
436
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,315
Well, I'll leave it up to you...
437
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,217
Dr. von Schramm.
438
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:45,109
Colonel, what are we
going to do about Schultz?
439
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,722
Is that why you
disturbed me at lunch?
440
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,112
You're putting it
away pretty good
441
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,246
for a man that's disturbed.
442
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,748
You want to help
Schultz, don't you?
443
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,194
Look, I've done
all I can for him.
444
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,595
I've spoken to
General Burkhalter.
445
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:54,686
When?
446
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,032
When he told me to sign an order
447
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,783
transferring Schultz
to the Russian Front.
448
00:15:57,807 --> 00:15:58,622
What'd you say?
449
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,274
I simply said, "Here it is."
450
00:16:00,309 --> 00:16:01,959
Now, get out of here, Hogan.
451
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,411
Okay, it's your neck.
452
00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:05,091
And stay out my quart...
453
00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:06,447
What's my neck?
454
00:16:06,483 --> 00:16:07,448
Skip it.
455
00:16:07,484 --> 00:16:08,516
It's not that important.
456
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,928
My neck is very important to me.
457
00:16:09,952 --> 00:16:10,918
Now, what do you mean?
458
00:16:10,953 --> 00:16:12,453
Schultz is being transferred
459
00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:14,788
because Burkhalter
thinks he's a bad soldier.
460
00:16:14,824 --> 00:16:16,257
He is a bad soldier.
461
00:16:16,292 --> 00:16:18,637
Now, what has Schultz
got to do with my neck?
462
00:16:18,661 --> 00:16:19,793
Colonel, I'm quite sure
463
00:16:19,829 --> 00:16:21,729
you've heard the
old Prussian saying:
464
00:16:21,764 --> 00:16:24,532
"A soldier is only as good
as the officer he serves."
465
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:27,134
I don't buy it, but, uh...
an old Prussian might.
466
00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:29,281
An old Prussian like
General Burkhalter, you mean.
467
00:16:29,305 --> 00:16:31,104
Does sound like him, doesn't it?
468
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:34,107
"A soldier is only as good
as the officer he serves."
469
00:16:34,143 --> 00:16:35,893
It's Burkhalter, all right.
470
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:38,061
That's something
he would say to me.
471
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,264
Yeah, and he'll
say it, all right.
472
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:43,300
Today, the sergeant;
tomorrow, the commandant.
473
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:46,887
No, no, General Burkhalter
would never transfer me
474
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:49,790
to the Russian Front
because of Schultz.
475
00:16:49,826 --> 00:16:51,926
That would be grossly unfair.
476
00:16:51,961 --> 00:16:54,061
It would be unjust and...
477
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:56,246
Hogan, what am I going to do?
478
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:59,049
Convince Burkhalter to
give Schultz another chance
479
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:01,419
to prove the kind of
soldier he really is.
480
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,798
He's already seen that.
481
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,266
What we must show him is
482
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,157
the kind of soldier that
Schultz really is not.
483
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,326
That's it... Great
idea, Commandant.
484
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,740
I have my moments
of brilliance, Hogan.
485
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,096
Why don't you have one
486
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,976
and tell me what we should do?
487
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,300
Dr. von Schramm, of course!
488
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:17,615
Of course!
489
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:19,848
Who's Dr. von Schramm?
490
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,405
I read about the doctor...
491
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:24,074
The most famous
psychiatrist in all of Germany.
492
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,576
You are German, aren't you?
493
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:28,345
What does a psychiatrist
have to do with Schultz?
494
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,614
The doctor does
miracles with hypnosis...
495
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,550
Creates an entire
new personality.
496
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:34,819
Operator, get me Dr. von
Schramm in Bremerheim.
497
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,320
May I use your phone, Colonel?
498
00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:37,499
Oh, ja, ja, ja.
499
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:39,757
I do hope the doctor
makes prison camp calls.
500
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,058
Dr. von Schramm...
501
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,292
just a moment, please.
502
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,527
Colonel Klink calling.
503
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,563
Try to sound important.
504
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,813
Hallo, this is Colonel
Klink speaking of Stalag 13.
505
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,169
Ja.
506
00:17:52,204 --> 00:17:53,916
That's right, that's the place.
507
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,305
Ja.
508
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:56,585
The doctor's heard of me.
509
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,041
Very impressed.
510
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,510
Ja, ja.
511
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:02,312
Oh, I would hardly
call myself a war hero.
512
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:04,181
"Unsung" is more like it.
513
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,483
Ja.
514
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:09,319
Doctor, I have a problem
with one of my key men,
515
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,622
and I wonder if
you could help me.
516
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,718
Yes, I realize you're a
little out of the way, but, uh...
517
00:18:13,742 --> 00:18:17,378
As a matter of
fact, it isn't, Colonel.
518
00:18:17,413 --> 00:18:19,480
I expect to be in
your area all day.
519
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:22,816
One of our Gestapo officers
is showing signs of decency.
520
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,601
Obviously insane.
521
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,137
What are you going to
do to me, Frau Doktor?
522
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:31,309
I want you to look
at this pendant.
523
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,997
Watch it swing back and forth,
524
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:39,483
back and forth.
525
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:41,952
Your eyes are closing.
526
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:44,154
Let them close.
527
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:47,858
Just drift off into
a deep sleep.
528
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,494
He'll be completely...
529
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,631
Colonel Klink.
530
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:54,932
Colonel Klink!
531
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:59,102
Oh, sorry, I must
have dozed off.
532
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,971
Did I miss anything?
533
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:04,708
I am about to give him a
posthypnotic suggestion.
534
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,277
He'll be a new man
when he awakes.
535
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:10,547
Sergeant Schultz,
can you hear me?
536
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:14,885
Yes, you said I'm going to
be a new man when I awaken.
537
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,870
Am I asleep?
538
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,256
Certainly you are asleep.
539
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:23,260
You're in a very deep,
deep hypnotic sleep.
540
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:25,295
Jawohl, Frau Doktor.
541
00:19:28,017 --> 00:19:29,950
Fantastic.
542
00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:32,119
Believe me, Colonel,
543
00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:35,088
he'll never be the
same man again.
544
00:19:35,124 --> 00:19:38,626
And if you're not
amazed at the results,
545
00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:42,363
then my name is not
Brunhilde von Schramm.
546
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:54,241
Sergeant Schultz, you are
ruthless, you are fearless,
547
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:57,028
you are a leader of men.
548
00:19:59,181 --> 00:20:01,581
Roll call, Colonel.
549
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,452
All right, fellas, you
know what to do.
550
00:20:05,487 --> 00:20:06,665
Don't worry, Colonel.
551
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:07,933
We'll make Schultz look great.
552
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,734
Newkirk, did you round
up all the goodies?
553
00:20:09,758 --> 00:20:10,691
Done, sir.
554
00:20:10,726 --> 00:20:11,692
All right.
555
00:20:11,727 --> 00:20:14,295
Let's go out and prove
that Dr. von Schramm
556
00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:16,663
is the greatest
hypnotist of all time.
557
00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:19,461
Line up, line up.
558
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:20,517
Okay, Schultz!
559
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,652
We're not deaf.
560
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:22,764
Give us half a chance,
561
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:23,854
will you, big fella?
562
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,357
You're a real tiger this
morning, aren't you, Schultz?
563
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,858
I mean, Sergeant Schultz.
564
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:30,539
Real tiger?
565
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,097
Don't tell me you're starting
to take this war seriously.
566
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:34,732
Don't argue with
him, just obey him.
567
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,016
We know you're a sergeant.
568
00:20:36,051 --> 00:20:38,385
You don't have to start
acting like one, do you?
569
00:20:38,421 --> 00:20:41,721
Maybe it's about
time I do act like one!
570
00:20:41,757 --> 00:20:43,924
Attention!
571
00:20:43,959 --> 00:20:46,109
Straighten up, everybody!
572
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,628
Next thing you know, he'll
want to inspect the barracks.
573
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,748
That's exactly
what I'm going to do
574
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:54,151
right after roll call.
575
00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:56,386
Eyes front!
576
00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:57,682
That's Hogan's barracks.
577
00:20:57,706 --> 00:20:59,551
The prisoners are
30 seconds early.
578
00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:01,042
What of it?
579
00:21:01,077 --> 00:21:02,988
Oh, they've never
been early before.
580
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,946
As a matter of fact, they've
never been on time before.
581
00:21:05,981 --> 00:21:07,515
This is a big event.
582
00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:11,452
Klink, I'm sure this is a proud
moment in your military career.
583
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:12,953
Thank you, sir.
584
00:21:12,988 --> 00:21:16,623
If you got me up just for
that, it is also the end of it.
585
00:21:16,659 --> 00:21:20,277
What is that fathead
Schultz doing out there?
586
00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:22,741
Being the good German
soldier he once was.
587
00:21:22,765 --> 00:21:26,233
General Burkhalter, there
is an old Prussian saying:
588
00:21:26,269 --> 00:21:29,837
"A soldier is only as good
as the officer he serves."
589
00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:32,356
Do you think we
created a monster?
590
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,992
Who was talking?
591
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,294
The one who was talking
592
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:39,964
will take one step forward!
593
00:21:48,023 --> 00:21:50,891
Everybody was talking,
594
00:21:50,927 --> 00:21:54,929
so everybody will
do some walking.
595
00:21:54,964 --> 00:21:58,265
There will be one
hour close-order drill
596
00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:00,934
right after barrack inspection!
597
00:22:00,969 --> 00:22:04,287
Yes, I think we have
created a monster.
598
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:07,308
General Burkhalter,
I found these things
599
00:22:07,343 --> 00:22:09,009
hidden in the barracks
600
00:22:09,045 --> 00:22:11,156
during my expert inspection.
601
00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:14,248
What have we here?
602
00:22:14,283 --> 00:22:17,551
Well, very fine cigars.
603
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:20,354
Knowing that the
general smoked cigars,
604
00:22:20,389 --> 00:22:22,367
I thought you might try some
605
00:22:22,391 --> 00:22:24,174
to see if they are real.
606
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:25,826
They could be anything...
607
00:22:25,861 --> 00:22:28,212
Saw blades, files,
secret messages.
608
00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:30,213
I'll check them out immediately.
609
00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:32,215
That's using your head, Schultz.
610
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:33,717
Thank you, General.
611
00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:34,852
What have we here?
612
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:35,853
Cheese?
613
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:37,899
Knowing what a
gourmet the general is...
614
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:39,222
I'll take it.
615
00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:42,003
Yeah, why don't you
check it out at lunch?
616
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:45,306
Yes, General, why don't
you take the whole carton?
617
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:48,432
The general can check
the brandy after dinner,
618
00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:51,635
and Mrs. Burkhalter can
wear the silk stockings
619
00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:53,303
to see if they are real.
620
00:22:53,338 --> 00:22:54,616
You have a good man here, Klink.
621
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:55,606
One of the best!
622
00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:56,651
Yeah, he said he was going
623
00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:58,019
to search the
barracks every week.
624
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,092
I did?
625
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:01,328
Yes, and I resent it.
626
00:23:01,364 --> 00:23:04,031
You've got an
excellent idea, Sergeant.
627
00:23:04,066 --> 00:23:06,200
No telling what you might find.
628
00:23:06,235 --> 00:23:07,968
Jawohl, General!
629
00:23:08,004 --> 00:23:11,004
I'll send you a list
of things to look for.
630
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,589
What about his transfer?
631
00:23:12,624 --> 00:23:14,491
Nonsense.
632
00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:17,728
You would transfer a
fine soldier like him?
633
00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:20,965
Remember we old
Prussians have always said,
634
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:25,419
"An officer is only as good
as the soldier who serves him."
635
00:23:25,454 --> 00:23:27,004
Oh, no, thanks, sir.
636
00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:29,022
That might be the
one that explodes.
637
00:23:36,599 --> 00:23:38,566
Raus, everybody! Raus!
638
00:23:38,601 --> 00:23:41,001
I need four volunteers
for work detail!
639
00:23:41,036 --> 00:23:42,236
You must be kidding.
640
00:23:42,271 --> 00:23:43,482
We'll find you some.
641
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:45,372
I think I found them already...
642
00:23:45,408 --> 00:23:47,941
You, you, you and... you.
643
00:23:47,976 --> 00:23:48,875
Oh, shove off.
644
00:23:48,911 --> 00:23:50,678
We just got finished
with a work detail!
645
00:23:50,713 --> 00:23:51,790
That's why I picked you,
646
00:23:51,814 --> 00:23:53,158
because I need experienced men.
647
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:54,215
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
648
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:55,216
That's a good one.
649
00:23:55,251 --> 00:23:56,328
All right, wait a minute.
650
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:57,462
Wait a minute, Schultz.
651
00:23:57,486 --> 00:23:59,598
According to the rules of
the Geneva Convention...
652
00:23:59,622 --> 00:24:00,887
Oh, don't give me any rules,
653
00:24:00,923 --> 00:24:02,834
because I do not know
how to play the game.
654
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,570
Schultz, these
men are exhausted.
655
00:24:04,594 --> 00:24:06,938
I won't allow them to
do any more work today.
656
00:24:06,962 --> 00:24:09,196
You don't expect me
to unload the supplies
657
00:24:09,232 --> 00:24:10,975
for the officers'
club by myself.
658
00:24:10,999 --> 00:24:12,132
Supplies?
659
00:24:12,167 --> 00:24:13,500
That's different.
660
00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:14,946
All right, come on, fellas.
661
00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:16,270
Let's get going.
662
00:24:16,305 --> 00:24:17,549
You rested long enough.
663
00:24:17,573 --> 00:24:19,139
Thank you.
664
00:24:19,174 --> 00:24:20,841
Thank you, Colonel.
665
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:22,343
Colonel, maybe later on,
666
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:24,411
we could have a
little snack, huh?
667
00:24:24,447 --> 00:24:26,024
That's fine, Schultz,
but I'm afraid
668
00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:27,593
I don't have any
more pumpernickel.
669
00:24:27,617 --> 00:24:30,183
I got the last one,
670
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:32,286
but this time, I
did not sit on it.
671
00:24:32,321 --> 00:24:34,255
I kept it right here...
43772
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