All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S05E21 Standing Room Only.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.CBS

Fantastic dinner,

simply fantastic.

Thank you, my dear.

The champagne and
all that lovely caviar.

Do you know what day this is?

Thursday.

Ah, it's much more
than Thursday.

Today is our anniversary.

Did you know that we have known
each other for a whole month?

Oh.

Oh! Oh, a jade necklace.

Oh, how lovely.

Sofia, darling, you have
the most beautiful eyes.

Oh, danke, Herr Kommandant.

Oh, just call me
plain Commandant.

All right, Commandant.

Where was I?

My eyes.

Oh, yes, oh, yes.

They sparkle, like
37-millimeter antiaircraft shells

bursting in the dark sky.

Halt!

Halt!

Stop it! Stop it!

What are you doing?!

Going for a little walk, huh?!

Yeah, going for a walk.

You're walking right into
the cooler, you understand?!

Hold it, Schultz, you
can't arrest this man.

Who said so?

He was just airing
his blanket, right?

Yes, sir.

Schultz!

Schultz!

What's going on out there?

What's all the shooting?

He was just airing
his blanket, Schultz.

You want me to believe that?

Herr Kommandant, false alarm!

The guards in the
tower are trigger-happy!

There will be no more
trigger happiness tonight!

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

Take him back to the barracks.

And you!

Wait till after the war to air
your blankets, you understand?

All right, come on.

All right, get
down in the tunnel.

Next time, I may do the
shooting and I won't miss.

If anything like
this happens again,

we're going to
hold a court-martial

right here in the tunnel.

I've had enough.

We're sick of it.

We want out.

You got to do something, sir.

All right, pipe down.

You could have blown
the whole operation tonight,

put us right out of business.

I almost made it, sir.

You weren't even close.

Colonel, it's two weeks

since we broke out of Stalag 5.

That was your first mistake,

the seven of you all at once.

How do you think the Krauts feel

about that kind of operation?

Gets them awfully nervous.

Sure, and the
heat's passed around

from one Luftstalag to the next.

We're going stir crazy.

When can we move?

I told you, as soon as the
underground can handle it.

You'll be passed
along to the coast

and taken to England by sub.

We're ready.

But we're not.

You're going to
relax until we are.

That's an order.

Keep them amused, huh?

LeBeau was trying.

They don't like my
Maurice Chevalier imitation.

Why don't you try Betty Grable.

Better stick with Chevalier.

What's going on, Colonel?

No idea.

Must be some kind of a meeting.

Bloody rude of them
not to invite you.

Maybe I'll go anyway.

Mind the store, huh?

Thank you.

I needed that.

This major that just came
in with General Burkhalter.

What about him?

Oh, nothing, he just
looks familiar, that's all.

And you'd like to
know who he is.

Major Strauss,
commandant of Luftstalag 5.

That's interesting.

So are you.

Mind if I catch a little of
this fascinating conversation?

Why?

Oh, nothing.

Major Strauss may
be transferred here.

How's that for a reason?

Not too good.

Hilda.

Ah...

That's a much better reason.

So's that.

In the past year,

Major Strauss, over 100
escapes from Stalag 5

and more than half of
them being successful.

That is terrible.

Somehow I knew
you would think so.

How do you explain it, Major?

Yes, how do you
explain it, Major?

Well, we do have a
large prisoner population.

So does Stalag 13,

but we have never had
one successful escape here.

Klink, if you don't
mind, I'll blow your horn.

For once, you don't
have to do it yourself.

Thank you, General Burkhalter.

Now, Major, I have
studied your service record.

You're a good soldier,
very qualified for your job.

I appreciate that, sir.

What's 100 escapes?

Nothing.

It could happen to anybody.

Except you, of course.

Except me, of course.

Unfortunately,
Stalag 5 is a problem.

We had to keep the 14th
Division tied down in this area

for patrol duty.

We can't move them
to the Eastern Front.

Oh, they must be terribly
disappointed, Herr General.

We have to do something

about this situation, Strauss.

I want you to move in
here to study and observe

Klink's methods.

He is to have access
to everything, Klink:

housekeeping details,
security matters.

I will take over Stalag 5
temporarily while you are here.

Herr General.

What can I possibly
learn from him?

I know how to wear a monocle.

Perhaps you could use it

to look for your
missing prisoners, huh?

Major, Klink is your superior.

You are being disrespectful.

Herr General, I do
not want to come here

as a student... or anything.

The alternative for you is

a nice train trip to
the Russian Front.

General Burkhalter, I
do not want him here.

And you, Klink, can go to
Russia on the same train!

Then all you two will
have to fight about

is who gets the upper berth.

What's up?

Great bloody air
raid on Düsseldorf...

Hundreds of them.

It's about time.

It's good news and
bad news, Colonel.

Half of Düsseldorf is
now a garbage dump.

But the bad news is 12
of our guys bailed out.

Four were captured
and eight got away.

What's bad news about that?

The underground's
sending them here.

They can't do that!

I don't believe that!

Tell them we got a full house.

Can't do it, Colonel,
they've shut down.

This is a POW
camp, not a subway.

The Gestapo's already on
the move looking for the flyers.

Right. That'll give us 15 men.

We can't get rid of
the seven we've got.

There's no air
in the tunnel now.

I will not give those guys

mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

All right, let's not
get worked up.

We have no choice.

Carter, Newkirk, LeBeau,
go out and meet them tonight.

Now, the rendezvous
point is X14, 2200 hours.

15 guys.

Holy Toledo!

What are you going to do?

We're the only motel
in a combat zone.

I believe in the iron
fist in a velvet glove.

As commandant, I have to make
a few concessions once in a while.

Only last week, I granted my
men 15 extra minutes of hot water.

A day?

A month.

That's what I call being
a real humanitarian.

Oh, you'll get the hang of my
system in a few days, Major.

You see, there's no
secret to my methods.

The record of my
success is an open book.

Coffee, Major.

Thank you, Sergeant.

You have been with
Colonel Klink quite a while.

Oh, I'm like a son to him.

He raised me from a private.

That's nice.

I have great respect
for the colonel...

In fact, for all the officers

down to the rank of captain.

As you can see,

I am trying to learn the methods

of this man you respect
so much, Sergeant.

You could do worse, Major.

You may be able to
interpret some ledger entries.

Oh...

Thank you.

I see here...

Ah.

3,000 marks for
transportation of prisoners

to Hammelburg
for church services.

Is that customary?

It's funny.

The commandant has
a great sense of humor.

Whenever he borrows
money from the camp treasury,

he always puts that down.

"Transportation
for church services."

Ooh, that's beautiful.

It is amusing.

He pays the money
back, of course.

Yes, sir.

There is no record of that.

Oh, he must have forgotten.

Aw, you know how it
is when one is in love.

Sit down, Schultz.

Please, please.

Klink is in love?

Ja, with two people...

Himself and Sofia.

Who is she?

Sofia Lindemann, a local tomato.

Ooh, very ooh-la-la.

Your commandant
knows how to live.

Hmm.

Oh, uh, here...

5,000 marks for
a pound of caviar

and a case of champagne

to entertain
Reichsmarschall Göring.

Did you meet Göring when
he was here, Sergeant?

Ja. That was easy.

Really.

Ja.

Reichsmarschall Göring and Fräulein
Lindemann are the same person.

Oh, that is very clever!

Oh, the commandant knows
how to operate in a war.

You have everything
you need, Major?

More than enough, Schultz,

more than enough.

There is the motor pool.

Maintenance on all vehicles
is done by the prisoners

on a voluntary basis.

That is very unusual.

Yes, and someday,
if you work hard,

maybe you will get your
prisoners to do things like that.

I'll try.

Göring must have
been very impressed.

Indeed he was.

Göring? Which Göring?

Rather heavyset man who
paid you a visit recently.

You entertained him with
caviar and champagne.

Oh, that Göring.

Oh, yes, indeed it
was a great honor.

You've been in my books.

Burkhalter said I was to have
access to everything, remember?

I would like to meet Fräulein
Lindemann sometime.

Really?

Maybe I should
invite her for dinner?

I will wait until she gives
testimony at your court-martial.

Court-martial?

Is that necessary?

Somebody has to find you
guilty of stealing camp funds.

Oh, I only borrowed the money.

I mean, it was a loan.

I intended to pay it back.

Of course.

Tell that to the
boys in Stalingrad,

unless Burkhalter
decides on a firing squad.

Major, must you report this

to General Burkhalter?

I mean, he has so many
things on his mind these days.

Remember the war effort?

I am.

You have pushed me around,

made me look like
dirt in front of him

and now, the monocle
is on the other eye,

Commandant!

You're just not a nice person.

I say we ought to
send the lot of them out

through the emergency tunnel.

Right. Let the
underground handle it.

Yeah, maybe they can hide out

in groups of twos and threes.

The underground doesn't
have enough safe houses.

Impossible.

Colonel, I'm
running out of food.

Pretty soon I'll
have to give them

the same stuff
that Klink gives us.

Poisoning people is no
way to get rid of them.

We can't just sneak
them out of camp.

Gestapo's got a man
behind every tree out there.

The underground can't move.

Then we're stuck with
that lot indefinitely, then.

No.

What we need is
a bold, open plan.

Heck, I'd just march
them out of camp

like they were going someplace.

That's not bold, it's insulting.

Hey, suppose they
were on a cleanup detail

outside the wire
and just disappeared.

Now you're getting warmer.

Can you arrange it, Colonel?

I'll just ask Klink.

Will he go for it?

How can you refuse
to clean up the war?

Come in, come in.

Can I see you a
minute, Commandant?

Yes, take a good look.

You won't see me much longer.

You're leaving us?

Let me guess.

You've been
transferred to active duty.

Huh. Very active...

Either Stalingrad or falling
in front of a firing squad.

That's active
enough for anybody.

What happened?

Why should I tell you?

You're one of my enemies.

What else have you got?

Oh, I suppose it doesn't
matter anymore anyway.

Major Strauss went
through the books.

I have been borrowing
from the camp treasury.

Well, if you got a choice,
take the firing squad, sir.

It's quicker.

I had every intention
of paying it back.

But you never
quite made it, right?

No, I never quite made it.

Fräulein Lindemann?

You know how it is.

Yeah, I used to know how it is.

And now Major Strauss
reports to General Burkhalter

and that's that.

Why must I be so
attractive to women?

Why?

It's one of the great
mysteries of our time.

My last official act could
be to send you to the cooler.

You do that and I won't
be able to help you.

I got an idea.

Hmm. Unless you're willing

to shoot Major
Strauss in the back,

I'm not interested.

There was a mass breakout

from Stalag 5 a few weeks ago...

Seven prisoners, I believe.

How do you know about that?

We had a few transfers
from Stalag 5 and they talked.

Now suppose, just
suppose that I could arrange

for you to recapture
those seven guys.

You could arrange that?

How?

Are you going to ask questions

or start packing your
long woolen underwear?

I'm listening, I'm listening.

All right.

You recapture the prisoners,

you turn them over to the major

on the condition that he forget

all about your hanky-panky
with Fräulein Lindemann.

The major becomes
a hero to Burkhalter

and you go on dancing your way

into the heart of
the Third Reich.

Can you do that?

Make the deal with the major.

All right, all right.

But, Hogan, why would you
go through all that trouble, huh?

I'm doing it for my men.

They've developed a
fond affection for you, sir.

Oh, well...

I mean, when you walk by

with your riding crop
and your monocle,

they say, "There goes Klink.

He's embarrassing,
but he's ours."

I'm not sure, Hogan,

but I think I
should be offended.

Work on it.

He's shaking hands, Colonel.

Hey, Klink's headed this way.

All right, fellows, break it up.

I saw you talking to the major.

Yes, he might be interested,

but first he wants to know

where the seven prisoners are

and how this recapture
is to be arranged.

I also saw you
shaking hands with him.

Oh, that was just a gesture.

Don't get cozy with
me, Commandant,

you're halfway to
the Russian Front.

All right, it's a deal.

I get his prisoners back

and he forgets that I borrowed
from the camp treasury.

Now, Hogan, when is all of
this going to happen, hmm?

One of these nights, real soon.

I don't think I like
the sound of that.

Would you rather hear sleigh
bells coming toward you?

Eight Kraut uniforms, Colonel?

Including one for
a Luftwaffe captain.

Kinch, we'll need a truck
big enough for 15 men.

Just sitting in the
motor pool, waiting.

He's pretty cute,

doesn't even bother
jumping the wires anymore.

All right, Kinch,

I want you to hide the
truck just off the road here.

LeBeau, I want you
to lead the men to it.

Oui, Colonel. Understood.

Carter, Newkirk,

you'll be in charge
of the first seven guys.

Get them through the
emergency tunnel into the gate.

Got it?

Right.

I'm with you all the way, sir.

Good, Carter.

You don't know how
secure that makes me feel.

All right, now,
when we're ready,

you flyers will go out first.

Corporal LeBeau
will be in command.

Obey orders, messieurs,

and everything will be okay.

Anybody speak German?

Jawohl, Herr Hogan.

Ich spreche und
verstehe Deutsch.

Wow, like a native.

Good, I want to
talk to you later.

Yes, sir.

All right,

one other important
detail before we start.

To spring all of you,

you men from Stalag 5 have
got to be recaptured temporarily.

What?

Recaptured?

What's the idea?

After all this time?

What are the chances, Colonel?

Well, maybe 50/50.

I'll admit there is a risk;

I'm not going to try to kid you.

Anything this important,

I say we ought to vote on it.

Vote?

I'm not asking you to
elect me to Congress.

I'm just trying to get you home.

From here on, no talking.

No cigarettes.

Follow me,
single file, let's go.

All right, heads up, guys.

We're moving.

We surrender!

Comrade!

Comrade, we surrender!

Don't shoot.

Don't shoot, we surrender.

Dummkopf!

Do I have to think
of everything?

Let them in!

Rein, rein mit euch.

Don't shoot, don't shoot.

Come on, come on, come on.

Herr Kommandant!

Herr Kommandant, the
prisoners... I captured them!

Well, Major, you will be a hero.

You kept your part of
the bargain, I'll keep mine.

How did you recapture
them, Colonel?

Where were they?

Don't get cozy with me, Major.

One false move and
you could be hearing

sleigh bells coming towards you.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

Where will I find Major Strauss?

Here he is.

Herr Major, I am
Captain Schmidt, Stalag 5.

General Burkhalter's
compliments, sir.

I have orders to return
these men to Stalag 5.

They are the escaped prisoners.

Take them away.

Just a minute.

How did General Burkhalter
know these men would be here?

They have only surrendered
in the last half hour.

Uh, the general, uh, received
an anonymous phone call, sir.

He was informed the
prisoners would be found here.

Nicely done, Colonel.

You did mention
me to the general.

Oh, yes, of course I
mentioned your name.

With your permission,
Herr Major.

Achtung!

Get them in the truck.

Schnell.

Bon voyage.

Herr Major, General
Burkhalter will be pleased

you have recaptured
the prisoners.

I will report to him...

That will not be necessary.

I will do my own reporting.

I am going back to
the stalag with you.

But, uh, we have 15 men, sir.

There's hardly room for...

I recaptured these men!

I will return them to Stalag 5!

Captain, why don't you take
the major with you all the way.

Why don't you stay
out of this all the way.

Major, if you please.

Wiedersehen.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

Good riddance.

Now I wonder if
he'll keep his word

or report my bookkeeping
to the general.

I have a feeling you won't
hear from Major Strauss again.

I hope you're right.

How did you arrange it?

Sorry, classified information.

Hogan, you saved my life.

I could have been executed

or sent to the Russian Front.

Six of one, half a dozen...

Why did you do it?

Well, it's simple.

I want us to win the war.

Well, I don't...

And I figure with
you alive and fighting,

we have a much better chance.

Come in, come in.

Oh, Hogan, what is
it? What do you want?

I heard corks popping clear
across the compound, sir.

Oh, this is Fräulein
Sofia Lindemann,

Colonel Hogan,
senior POW officer.

Fräulein.

Colonel.

As long as you're here, have
some champagne, Hogan.

Don't mind if I do, sir.

Make yourself at home, Hogan.

Thank you.

Heard from Major Strauss?

Not him, General
Burkhalter called me.

Developments?

Major Strauss has disappeared
with his seven prisoners

and the escort sent
by General Burkhalter.

Ah, that is a development.

He has obviously deserted.

Hogan, you told me I would
never hear from him again

and you were right.

Have some caviar?

Yeah, Colonel,
I'll get around to it.

Hmm?

Now what is it?

Sounds like the
natives again, sir.

Herr Kommandant!

Herr Kommandant!

Yes, yes, Schultz,
I'm coming, I'm coming!

I'm sorry, my dear,
I'll be right back.

When the boys
create a diversion,

they don't fool around.

He'll be gone at
least two hours.

Fräulein, you
have beautiful eyes.

Anyone ever told you that?

Yes... Colonel Klink.

Well, in that case, I'll
tell you about your lips.