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1
00:00:51,602 --> 00:00:53,001
Nectar of the gods.
2
00:00:54,404 --> 00:00:55,904
Mmm.
3
00:00:55,940 --> 00:00:57,906
Sheer ambrosia.
4
00:00:57,942 --> 00:01:00,575
Mmm... LeBeau,
you've done it again.
5
00:01:00,611 --> 00:01:02,945
Well, I'm glad somebody
likes your cooking.
6
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,413
Would you like to
taste this bouillabaisse?
7
00:01:05,449 --> 00:01:07,415
No, I don't want
to spoil me lunch.
8
00:01:07,451 --> 00:01:10,719
If I thought for one
moment you were serious...
9
00:01:14,725 --> 00:01:15,769
Here.
10
00:01:15,793 --> 00:01:16,892
No, I haven't been well.
11
00:01:16,927 --> 00:01:17,927
Come on.
12
00:01:19,263 --> 00:01:21,429
Hey, that smells like fish stew.
13
00:01:21,465 --> 00:01:23,476
It's bouillabaisse
à la Marseillaise.
14
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,566
Oh.
15
00:01:26,771 --> 00:01:29,604
Cor. Well, it loses something
in the translation, mate.
16
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:30,773
Oh, that's horrible.
17
00:01:30,808 --> 00:01:32,385
I should have
know better than to...
18
00:01:32,409 --> 00:01:34,042
What did you put
in there, hair oil?
19
00:01:34,078 --> 00:01:35,856
What do you mean,
what'd I put in there?
20
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,545
You'd be locked
up in the British Isles
21
00:01:37,581 --> 00:01:38,781
if you gave that to people.
22
00:01:38,816 --> 00:01:40,960
Don't let the Germans
get that, mate. Thanks.
23
00:01:40,984 --> 00:01:42,662
They'll win the
war in six months.
24
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:43,785
Hold it, hold it!
25
00:01:43,821 --> 00:01:45,320
What seems to be the problem?
26
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,467
I made the mistake of
asking an Englishman
27
00:01:47,491 --> 00:01:48,957
to taste a gourmet dish.
28
00:01:48,992 --> 00:01:51,927
It's not a gourmet
dish; it's ruddy fish stew!
29
00:01:51,962 --> 00:01:53,540
That, from a man who thinks
30
00:01:53,564 --> 00:01:55,775
overcooked mutton
is a taste treat.
31
00:01:55,799 --> 00:01:56,932
How about a short truce
32
00:01:56,967 --> 00:01:58,800
till Newkirk sews
up my torn sleeve?
33
00:01:58,836 --> 00:02:00,112
Just take a minute, sir.
34
00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:02,114
Colonel, I want you to
taste my bouillabaisse.
35
00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:04,639
Don't go by me... I'm a peanut
butter and jelly man myself.
36
00:02:04,675 --> 00:02:05,852
I trust your taste, Colonel.
37
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:06,842
All right.
38
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,157
Here.
39
00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:10,189
Hot?
40
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,380
Oh, yes, hot... but delicious.
41
00:02:12,415 --> 00:02:14,527
Actually, they didn't have
exactly what I needed.
42
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,145
I always put in
the head of an eel.
43
00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:18,353
That would have made it for me.
44
00:02:20,023 --> 00:02:22,869
Colonel, there's a message
coming in from the underground.
45
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,159
Mm-hmm.
46
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:28,796
Qu'est-ce que
c'est peanut putter?
47
00:02:28,832 --> 00:02:30,598
You peasant.
48
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,640
This is Papa Bear.
49
00:02:39,676 --> 00:02:41,309
We read you loud and clear.
50
00:02:41,345 --> 00:02:42,377
Go ahead.
51
00:02:51,355 --> 00:02:52,653
Roger, Goldilocks.
52
00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:54,256
We'll get back to you.
53
00:02:54,291 --> 00:02:56,524
Oh, by the way, on
your next air drop,
54
00:02:56,559 --> 00:03:00,095
we'll need some automatic
weapons, explosives and radios.
55
00:03:01,464 --> 00:03:02,563
What?
56
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:06,351
Put it on Colonel Hogan's bill.
57
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:07,885
Over and out.
58
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,221
This is an expensive war.
59
00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:12,123
What's the message?
60
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:14,793
"Underground sending
contact to Hammelburg.
61
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,294
"Will arrive Saturday.
62
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:19,297
"Information on mobile
rocket launching factory.
63
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,432
Top priority."
64
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,077
They're putting those
things on wheels?
65
00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:24,469
Yeah, and once they roll
out, they'll be tough to find.
66
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:25,670
Where's the rendezvous?
67
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,205
The Hauserhof, room 606.
68
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,040
He's attending a wedding there.
69
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:30,842
A wedding?
70
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,563
And his orders are to give
the message only to Papa Bear.
71
00:03:34,598 --> 00:03:36,208
Hey, it looks like
you're going to be
72
00:03:36,232 --> 00:03:37,343
a wedding guest, Colonel.
73
00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:38,667
It's not going to be easy.
74
00:03:38,702 --> 00:03:40,685
The guests are going to
be watched like a hawk.
75
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,615
You worried about
getting by the Gestapo?
76
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,206
No, the father of the bride.
77
00:03:44,241 --> 00:03:46,174
He's the one paying
for the wedding.
78
00:04:00,124 --> 00:04:02,424
We got to figure some way
I can crash that wedding.
79
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:03,669
Don't worry about it, sir.
80
00:04:03,693 --> 00:04:05,738
I'm bound to come up
with something brilliant
81
00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:07,273
the moment I put me mind to it.
82
00:04:07,297 --> 00:04:08,774
Ever eaten bouillabaisse, Kinch?
83
00:04:08,798 --> 00:04:09,931
Of course, in New Orleans.
84
00:04:09,966 --> 00:04:10,966
I love it.
85
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,281
Taste this.
86
00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,137
Well, it's pretty good, LeBeau,
87
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,973
but there's something missing.
88
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,119
But, of course...
The head of an eel.
89
00:04:20,143 --> 00:04:22,488
They always put
that in bouillabaisse.
90
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,947
You had to tell me that, huh?
91
00:04:24,982 --> 00:04:26,192
There we are, sir.
92
00:04:26,216 --> 00:04:27,182
All finished.
93
00:04:27,217 --> 00:04:28,350
Thanks, Newkirk.
94
00:04:28,385 --> 00:04:30,652
Hey, that's a
good job of sewing.
95
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,120
Well, thank you, sir.
96
00:04:32,156 --> 00:04:33,755
Yeah.
97
00:04:33,790 --> 00:04:36,124
That groom would be
lucky to get you as a bride.
98
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,405
Hogan, I've got to talk
to you, it's very important.
99
00:04:38,429 --> 00:04:39,394
Go right ahead.
100
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,807
In your office... it's personal.
101
00:04:40,831 --> 00:04:42,264
Excuse me, fellas.
102
00:04:42,299 --> 00:04:44,816
I think the commandant
wants to surrender.
103
00:04:45,936 --> 00:04:48,416
Well, what seems to be
the problem, Commandant?
104
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:51,139
I'm being trapped
into a marriage.
105
00:04:51,174 --> 00:04:52,307
Oh.
106
00:04:52,343 --> 00:04:53,986
Little blonde waitress
at the Haufbrau?
107
00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:55,143
No.
108
00:04:55,178 --> 00:04:56,823
Tall brunette
manicurist at the hotel?
109
00:04:56,847 --> 00:04:57,813
No.
110
00:04:57,848 --> 00:04:59,348
Give me a hint.
111
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:00,915
She's short and squat.
112
00:05:00,951 --> 00:05:02,395
Burkhalter's sister, Gertrude.
113
00:05:02,419 --> 00:05:03,385
Right.
114
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:04,597
Congratulations, Commandant,
115
00:05:04,621 --> 00:05:06,132
you're getting a
lot of woman there.
116
00:05:06,156 --> 00:05:07,188
Please, Hogan, no jokes.
117
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,690
You're looking at
a desperate man.
118
00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:09,726
I need help.
119
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,293
A little late for
that, isn't it?
120
00:05:12,329 --> 00:05:14,090
What'd you propose
for in the first place?
121
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,580
Who proposed?
122
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:17,527
This morning, General
Burkhalter sent an order,
123
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,517
saying he was coming
here with a wedding party,
124
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,086
and I'm to make
all the arrangements
125
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,087
at the Hauserhof.
126
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,332
Hauserhof?
127
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:24,373
Yes...
128
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,907
the grand ballroom,
129
00:05:25,942 --> 00:05:29,277
the scene of some of
my greatest triumphs.
130
00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:30,312
Do you remember, Hogan,
131
00:05:30,347 --> 00:05:32,280
only last week, I told
you about that dance?
132
00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:33,693
You mean the Stormtrooper Stomp?
133
00:05:33,717 --> 00:05:34,783
Ja, ja.
134
00:05:34,818 --> 00:05:37,619
There I was, surrounded
by beautiful women.
135
00:05:37,654 --> 00:05:40,955
Twice I ran out of ink
writing down phone numbers.
136
00:05:40,991 --> 00:05:42,491
Hogan, you've got to help me.
137
00:05:42,526 --> 00:05:43,536
I think marriage
138
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,638
will be good for
you, Commandant.
139
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:47,662
That is a terrible
thing to say...
140
00:05:47,698 --> 00:05:48,764
even to an enemy.
141
00:05:48,799 --> 00:05:50,543
It's about time you settle down.
142
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,679
Really, if you ever
want to be general,
143
00:05:52,703 --> 00:05:55,014
you have to get rid
of that playboy image.
144
00:05:55,038 --> 00:05:57,472
Hogan, I guess I misjudged you.
145
00:05:57,508 --> 00:05:59,608
I always thought of
you as a romantic.
146
00:05:59,643 --> 00:06:01,309
I'm also a realist.
147
00:06:01,344 --> 00:06:02,944
Your luck has run out.
148
00:06:02,979 --> 00:06:04,858
Try to back out of
this marriage again,
149
00:06:04,882 --> 00:06:07,093
Burkhalter'll send you
to Russia like a shot.
150
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,149
Forget it.
151
00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:10,084
I'll figure a way
out of this myself.
152
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,572
I'd hate to see the playboy
of the Western world
153
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,408
wind up a colonel
on the Eastern Front.
154
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,089
What was all that
about then, sir?
155
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,814
It's Klink that's getting
married at the Hauserhof.
156
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:23,815
Wow!
157
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:24,960
He doesn't seem very happy.
158
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:26,596
It's Burkhalter's sister again.
159
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,197
He's better off on
the Russian Front.
160
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,888
Works out very nicely for us.
161
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,858
Now I'm sure I'll get an
invitation to the wedding.
162
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,103
The way I look at it,
163
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,105
we're not losing a
camp commandant,
164
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,369
we're gaining an
underground agent.
165
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,871
Frau Hilda, any messages for me?
166
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,784
Oh, General Burkhalter
and the wedding party
167
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,007
have arrived in Hammelburg.
168
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,042
They're here already?
169
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,154
Well, General Burkhalter
will be here any minute.
170
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:53,678
I'll be in my office.
171
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,151
Herr Kommandant,
congratulations.
172
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,652
I just heard the good news.
173
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:02,653
Please, Schultz.
174
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:03,689
Oh, Herr Kommandant,
175
00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:06,157
you are going to
get a wonderful girl.
176
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,237
I know, I know.
177
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,239
Ah, and she looks so healthy.
178
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,407
She seems to have
such a wonderful appetite.
179
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,463
Yes, she does.
180
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:15,267
And she's also a
very athletic woman.
181
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:18,836
I understand she got a
lot of medals for shot put.
182
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,438
Dismissed.
183
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:24,009
Oh!
184
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,054
Achtung!
185
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,306
Colonel Klink.
186
00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:30,276
General Burkhalter,
congratulations on the marriage.
187
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,066
Thank you, Schultz.
188
00:07:32,102 --> 00:07:33,279
Oh, I...
189
00:07:33,303 --> 00:07:35,569
I just noticed.
190
00:07:35,605 --> 00:07:38,106
Oh, she's the spitting image
191
00:07:38,141 --> 00:07:40,574
of you, General Burkhalter.
192
00:07:40,610 --> 00:07:42,310
Oh, you could be twins!
193
00:07:42,345 --> 00:07:43,628
Dismissed.
194
00:07:45,182 --> 00:07:46,892
Have you started
making the arrangements
195
00:07:46,916 --> 00:07:48,383
for the wedding, Klink?
196
00:07:48,418 --> 00:07:49,584
Yes, I have, sir.
197
00:07:49,619 --> 00:07:52,253
But there is something
I must discuss with you.
198
00:07:52,289 --> 00:07:53,721
What is that?
199
00:07:53,756 --> 00:07:55,590
Well, I don't have to tell you
200
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:58,910
how lucky a man would
be to get Gertrude for a wife.
201
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:01,245
She's a wonderful woman...
202
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,247
Jolly disposition...
203
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,033
great shot-putter.
204
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,868
Get to the point.
205
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:07,969
Well, you see, sir,
206
00:08:08,004 --> 00:08:09,604
this is very difficult
for me to say,
207
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:11,906
but, uh, I feel in my heart
208
00:08:11,941 --> 00:08:14,676
that I am not
worthy of Gertrude.
209
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:17,012
I feel the same way.
210
00:08:17,047 --> 00:08:19,214
Then why do you
want me to marry her?
211
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,948
Are you crazy, Klink?
212
00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:22,750
It's my niece, Frieda,
213
00:08:22,785 --> 00:08:25,720
and she's marrying
Count von Hertzel.
214
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,273
Count von Hertzel?
215
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:32,694
Do you think I would ever
let a Burkhalter marry a Klink?
216
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:35,029
But I understand
that Count von Hertzel
217
00:08:35,065 --> 00:08:36,865
is going to the Russian Front.
218
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:39,667
He has changed his mind.
219
00:08:39,702 --> 00:08:42,670
I mean, uh, his orders
have been changed.
220
00:08:42,705 --> 00:08:44,884
Oh, this must indeed be
a happy day for you, sir.
221
00:08:44,908 --> 00:08:47,375
My congratulations.
222
00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:48,410
Never mind.
223
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,345
I just want you to
make the arrangements.
224
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:51,679
I assure you, sir,
225
00:08:51,714 --> 00:08:53,326
that everything will
be taken care of.
226
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:54,927
Oh, sorry to break
in on you, sir,
227
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,662
but when my men
heard the good news,
228
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:58,364
they wanted me
to congratulate you.
229
00:08:58,388 --> 00:09:00,021
Thank you, Colonel.
230
00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:02,401
Uh, Hogan, the news is
even better than you think.
231
00:09:02,425 --> 00:09:03,724
His niece, Frieda,
232
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,905
is marrying Count von Hertzel.
233
00:09:05,929 --> 00:09:07,061
Oh?
234
00:09:07,097 --> 00:09:10,064
And I want the
best of everything.
235
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,933
Now, let me see...
236
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:15,904
Klink... how much
wine do you have?
237
00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:17,906
What a pity.
238
00:09:17,941 --> 00:09:19,852
My supply's so
low, all I've got left is
239
00:09:19,876 --> 00:09:21,120
one small bottle of Mozel.
240
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,011
Say, what about that
case of champagne
241
00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:24,663
I saw being delivered yesterday?
242
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,414
Champagne?
243
00:09:26,449 --> 00:09:28,449
It slipped my mind.
244
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,785
Thank you for
reminding me, Hogan.
245
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,253
What can we have
246
00:09:32,289 --> 00:09:34,700
in the way of hors d'oeuvres?
247
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:36,857
I can offer you two
cans of anchovies.
248
00:09:36,893 --> 00:09:38,159
There's no sense dipping
249
00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:40,728
into those jars of
caviar just for a wedding.
250
00:09:40,764 --> 00:09:41,996
He's absolutely right.
251
00:09:42,031 --> 00:09:43,909
I forgot I had all that caviar.
252
00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:46,734
It's a good thing
Colonel Hogan is here.
253
00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:49,521
You seem to have
lost your memory.
254
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:52,023
I assure you, General,
nothing is too good
255
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,975
for Frieda and
Count von Hertzel.
256
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,421
Then you'll offer
that side of prime beef
257
00:09:55,445 --> 00:09:57,525
you have in your
private food locker, sir?
258
00:09:58,615 --> 00:10:01,215
Believe me, General, I was
just about to do that for you.
259
00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:02,216
Good.
260
00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:04,330
Well, that takes
care of the menu.
261
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,466
We will discuss the
other details later.
262
00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:07,490
Excuse me, General,
263
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,458
but, uh, how's your niece
fixed for a bridal gown?
264
00:10:10,494 --> 00:10:13,606
She said she will buy it at the
department store in Hammelburg.
265
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,196
A bridal gown off the rack...
266
00:10:15,231 --> 00:10:17,465
with Yvette of Paris in town?
267
00:10:17,501 --> 00:10:18,711
Yvette of Paris?
268
00:10:18,735 --> 00:10:19,751
Mm-hmm.
269
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,469
The famous fashion designer?
270
00:10:21,504 --> 00:10:22,514
Where is she?
271
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:23,755
In my barracks.
272
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,473
In your barracks?!
273
00:10:25,508 --> 00:10:28,643
Better known to all of us
as Corporal Louis LeBeau.
274
00:10:28,678 --> 00:10:30,845
I am Yvette of Paris?
275
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,647
I sold Burkhalter on the idea
276
00:10:32,682 --> 00:10:34,915
that you're the great
Parisian couturier,
277
00:10:34,951 --> 00:10:36,017
and you're going to create
278
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,818
an exclusive wedding
dress for his niece,
279
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:40,238
who happens to
weigh in at 210 pounds.
280
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,618
There's two things
wrong with that, Colonel.
281
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:46,255
One, LeBeau doesn't know
how to design a wedding gown,
282
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,591
and two, there is
not enough material
283
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,949
in Germany to cover that bride.
284
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,318
Newkirk, you're going to
make the wedding dress,
285
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,670
and Burkhalter's going
to supply the material.
286
00:10:55,705 --> 00:10:58,406
That'll pave the way for you to
contact the underground agent
287
00:10:58,441 --> 00:10:59,591
at the Hauserhof, right?
288
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:00,636
Mm-hmm.
289
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,126
When can I meet
the bride, Colonel?
290
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,405
If I am going to design a dress,
291
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:04,829
I'd like to get her
measurements.
292
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,392
We're going into
town this afternoon.
293
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,282
Wait a minute.
294
00:11:08,317 --> 00:11:09,528
What makes you think
295
00:11:09,552 --> 00:11:11,447
you can design the bridal gown?
296
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,704
I'm French; it's in our blood.
297
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,841
LeBeau, you can't even
sew a button on a shirt.
298
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,743
Neither can Coco Chanel.
299
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:19,944
Newkirk will do the sewing;
300
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,011
I will do the creating.
301
00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,991
Come on, we've got
arrangements to make.
302
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,427
Oh, blimey...
303
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:27,117
No, apres vous, my dear Yvette.
304
00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:37,845
For the last time,
LeBeau, I'm asking you,
305
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,825
give me a hand with this stuff.
306
00:11:39,849 --> 00:11:41,782
Please, Newkirk,
Yvette is creating.
307
00:11:41,818 --> 00:11:42,818
Creating?
308
00:11:42,852 --> 00:11:44,430
You're nothing but a lazy clod.
309
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:45,598
Ah-ah-ah, Newkirk.
310
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,200
That's not the way
to talk to a lady.
311
00:11:47,224 --> 00:11:48,224
Thank you, Schultz.
312
00:11:48,258 --> 00:11:49,569
Fellas, Miss Burkhalter's room.
313
00:11:50,594 --> 00:11:51,559
Come in!
314
00:11:51,595 --> 00:11:52,727
Where's my sketch pad?
315
00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:53,972
Must have left it in the car.
316
00:11:53,996 --> 00:11:55,697
Well, I can't work
without my sketch pad.
317
00:11:55,732 --> 00:11:57,776
You fellas go on in,
I'll run back and get it.
318
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:58,800
Okay.
319
00:12:00,002 --> 00:12:02,570
Come on, he's just going
to get the sketch pad.
320
00:12:14,617 --> 00:12:17,137
Come.
321
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:21,506
Hi.
322
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,640
Don't move.
323
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:27,912
Raise your hands
and turn around slowly.
324
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:32,900
So, this is your
underground contact.
325
00:12:34,404 --> 00:12:36,871
I was just looking for the
Burkhalter wedding party.
326
00:12:40,376 --> 00:12:42,009
Boy, did I get the wrong room.
327
00:12:52,588 --> 00:12:53,800
For the last time,
328
00:12:53,824 --> 00:12:56,068
why were you trying
to contact this man?
329
00:12:56,092 --> 00:12:58,927
I told you, I'm with the
Burkhalter wedding party.
330
00:12:58,962 --> 00:13:01,562
If you don't believe me,
ask Sergeant Schultz,
331
00:13:01,597 --> 00:13:03,564
the guard that
brought us from camp.
332
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:05,799
We'll talk to the guard.
333
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,425
Schultz!
334
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:15,793
Schultz!
335
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:17,472
Oh, here you are, Colonel Hogan.
336
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,931
This gentleman thinks
I'm with the underground.
337
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,944
Will you tell him
what I'm doing here?
338
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,780
Colonel Hogan is here
with Yvette of Paris.
339
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,537
They're making a wedding gown
340
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,673
for the niece of
General Burkhalter
341
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,608
by order of General Burkhalter.
342
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,360
Thank you, Schultz.
343
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,739
This is all too upsetting.
344
00:13:33,763 --> 00:13:35,842
I cannot create under
these conditions.
345
00:13:35,866 --> 00:13:36,909
I'll be back later.
346
00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:38,213
Come, Newkirk.
347
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:39,951
But Yvette!
348
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:40,952
Later!
349
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:41,953
Colonel Hogan.
350
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,399
Please, Yvette, come back!
351
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,822
Please, Yvette!
352
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:48,417
General Burkhalter's going
to be very unhappy with you.
353
00:13:56,519 --> 00:13:57,799
Thank you.
354
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:12,616
If the Gestapo is
holding that agent,
355
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:13,985
how are we going to get
356
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,820
the information on the rockets?
357
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,400
That's Colonel Hogan's problem.
358
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:18,968
I'm just the
flipping seamstress.
359
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,602
And not a very good one either.
360
00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:21,592
Come on.
361
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,205
I'm sewing as fast as I can.
362
00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:24,462
Hey, go easy on him.
363
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,748
Newkirk's not as
young as he used to be.
364
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,951
With a ballplayer, it's
his legs that go first.
365
00:14:29,986 --> 00:14:32,436
With a seamstress,
it's the fingers.
366
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,139
That looks good enough to me.
367
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,685
That's because you don't know
368
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,938
what it takes to stop
a seam from popping.
369
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:39,962
He's right.
370
00:14:39,996 --> 00:14:41,296
Remember that old saying:
371
00:14:41,331 --> 00:14:42,764
A stitch in time saves nine.
372
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,331
There's another old saying:
373
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:45,499
Who asked you?
374
00:14:45,534 --> 00:14:47,135
That's good enough for now.
375
00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:48,313
I say it isn't!
376
00:14:48,337 --> 00:14:50,204
It's good enough to
try it on the model.
377
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:51,689
We are ready for the fitting!
378
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,824
If you are ready, I'm ready.
379
00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:55,159
Here you are.
380
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,472
Try this on.
381
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:57,806
In the fitting room, please.
382
00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,231
Aw, come on, we want
to see how he looks.
383
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:02,600
I don't like anyone
to see my creations
384
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,702
until they have
reached perfection.
385
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,573
Those dress designers...
386
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,519
They always seem peculiar.
387
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,243
Well, they get that way
388
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,679
from pinning up all those hems.
389
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,081
Come on, Schultz,
put your arms through.
390
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:18,448
There you are.
391
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,217
Here, stand on the stool, huh?
392
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:21,563
Let's take a look at you.
393
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,553
Come on.
394
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,832
Come on, up you go.
395
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,189
That's it, don't be afraid.
396
00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:27,703
You look like the
great white whale.
397
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,526
You think I'm the same size
398
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,595
as General Burkhalter's niece?
399
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:32,808
Nah, not really.
400
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:36,552
I think this might be
a bit loose on you.
401
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,071
Ah.
402
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:42,840
That is what I
call haute couture.
403
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,474
It looks nice.
404
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:45,542
Nice?
405
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,411
If Balenchia could see this,
406
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,047
he would throw himself
off the Eiffel Tower.
407
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,326
Hmm... you know,
408
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:54,329
I still say you've made
that train too long.
409
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,686
It is not too long.
410
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,800
It would be a lot more stylish
411
00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,190
with a short train.
412
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:01,926
Not when it has to
cover a big caboose.
413
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,293
Oh, LeBeau...
414
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:06,597
you do such nice work.
415
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,733
Could you design
a dress for my wife?
416
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,168
Of course... just bring
me her measurements.
417
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,948
Take mine, and you've got hers.
418
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,016
You know, Schultz,
419
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,784
if you ever get short of tanks,
420
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,285
you can send your wife in.
421
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,743
Jolly joke.
422
00:16:20,029 --> 00:16:21,929
Why is it every time
I discard an eight,
423
00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:23,030
you always take it?
424
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,309
Because I always save eights.
425
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:25,511
Where's LeBeau and Newkirk?
426
00:16:25,535 --> 00:16:27,279
They're in the fitting
room with Schultz.
427
00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:28,469
Oh.
428
00:16:28,505 --> 00:16:30,082
Before we go back
to the Hauserhof,
429
00:16:30,106 --> 00:16:32,017
we got to figure a way
to spring that agent.
430
00:16:32,041 --> 00:16:34,219
How about sending
somebody in as one of the staff?
431
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,643
Yeah, it's no good.
432
00:16:35,678 --> 00:16:37,790
They got Gestapo dressed
up as waiters, bellboys.
433
00:16:37,814 --> 00:16:40,147
I even saw a chambermaid
with five o'clock shadow.
434
00:16:40,182 --> 00:16:42,016
Well, at least they
didn't get Papa Bear.
435
00:16:42,051 --> 00:16:43,996
They might, if we
don't get the agent out.
436
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:46,064
We don't know if he's
going to crack or not.
437
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,181
Oh, my, what a lovely bride.
438
00:16:57,217 --> 00:17:00,868
It's a shame she's
already spoken for.
439
00:17:00,903 --> 00:17:02,614
Hey, Schultz, don't cry.
440
00:17:02,638 --> 00:17:04,182
You'll ruin the dress.
441
00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:05,606
I always cry at a wedding.
442
00:17:05,641 --> 00:17:07,018
How do you like
the dress, Colonel?
443
00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:08,008
It's beautiful.
444
00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:09,009
You did a great job.
445
00:17:09,044 --> 00:17:10,143
Thank you.
446
00:17:10,179 --> 00:17:11,579
General Burkhalter
will be thrilled
447
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,131
when he sees his
niece in this dress.
448
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,198
Yeah, it's a pity
449
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,334
the groom won't
get the same thrill.
450
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,601
That's better than being sent
451
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:18,753
to the Russian Front.
452
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,472
You can always desert in Russia.
453
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,174
Gentlemen!
454
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,820
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize
455
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,106
you were having a
fitting, Fräulein Frieda.
456
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:31,482
Oh, Colonel Klink,
it's me, Schultz.
457
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:35,103
Schultz, what are you doing
wearing that wedding gown?
458
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,349
I was using him as
a model for the bride.
459
00:17:37,373 --> 00:17:39,607
Uh, yes, sir, he has
the same dimensions...
460
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:42,527
48-44-46.
461
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,996
You're letting a great
little girl get away, sir.
462
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,274
Hogan, I am trusting you
463
00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:48,477
to have that gown at
the Hauserhof on time!
464
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,800
Don't worry about a thing.
465
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:50,880
Good!
466
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,102
Uh, Colonel Klink.
467
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:57,208
Oh, please, Colonel Klink!
468
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,742
LeBEAU: Hey, wait
a minute, Schultz.
469
00:17:58,777 --> 00:17:59,855
Get out of the dress now.
470
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:00,845
I have to finish it.
471
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:01,846
Oh, come on.
472
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:02,847
Newkirk.
473
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:03,848
Yes, sir.
474
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:04,893
Can I see you a minute?
475
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:05,917
Yes, sir.
476
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,062
About that dress...
477
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,485
Don't blame me, Colonel.
478
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,821
That was Lebeau's
idea about the train.
479
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,056
I thought a nice sash
480
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,824
would be in much better taste.
481
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,204
No, the dress is fine.
482
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:16,538
What I want to know is,
483
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,807
can you make another
one just like it by tomorrow?
484
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,430
Well, that's no
problem for me, sir,
485
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:22,099
but I'd better
clear it with Yvette.
486
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:24,751
You know how they
feel about copies.
487
00:18:36,165 --> 00:18:38,932
All the guests talked
about was the bridal gown.
488
00:18:38,968 --> 00:18:41,268
Funny, I didn't hear
anybody say one word
489
00:18:41,304 --> 00:18:42,370
about the dress.
490
00:18:42,405 --> 00:18:44,972
I think it looked
better on Schultz.
491
00:18:55,084 --> 00:18:56,583
You can stop crying, Schultz.
492
00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:57,852
They're already married.
493
00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:58,931
It's not the wedding.
494
00:18:58,955 --> 00:19:00,665
He's crying
because he didn't get
495
00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:02,134
a piece of the wedding cake.
496
00:19:02,158 --> 00:19:03,257
That and the drapes
497
00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:05,025
were the only
things he didn't eat.
498
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,061
Jolly joker.
499
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:10,564
Where?
500
00:19:10,599 --> 00:19:11,966
Where's the cockroach?
501
00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:13,212
After what you ate?
502
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:15,480
You're lucky we
got in the elevator.
503
00:19:15,504 --> 00:19:16,784
LeBeau's walking up.
504
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,529
Follow me!
505
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:48,563
Follow me, everybody!
506
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:49,587
Follow me!
507
00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:50,587
Follow me, everybody!
508
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:51,967
Everybody down in the basement!
509
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,857
Please, don't stay
calm... Everybody panic!
510
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:54,925
Now, come on!
511
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,671
Air Raid! Look out, everybody!
512
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:57,695
Got him!
513
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,176
Okay?
514
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,678
Perfect.
515
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:15,746
What is happening?
516
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:16,747
Is it an air raid?
517
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:17,981
Just a practice drill.
518
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:19,049
Oh.
519
00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:20,462
You see, nothing to worry about.
520
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:21,697
Let's go back in there, huh?
521
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:26,557
Never have I seen a
more beautiful bride.
522
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:27,758
Ah...
523
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:31,095
And I owe it all to you, Yvette.
524
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,830
Isn't he wond...
525
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,165
Nonsense.
526
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,744
The dress is nothing
527
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,847
unless a vision of
loveliness such as...
528
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,151
Good heavens, a seam has opened!
529
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:44,452
We'll sew it up
for you right away.
530
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,155
Don't you worry, Countess.
531
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:48,579
It'll only take a minute.
532
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:52,933
Search every room, Gustav.
533
00:20:52,969 --> 00:20:54,012
He can't get away.
534
00:20:54,036 --> 00:20:55,469
The building is surrounded.
535
00:20:58,141 --> 00:21:00,619
How dare you burst
into a lady's room
536
00:21:00,643 --> 00:21:01,820
without knocking!
537
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:02,943
I'm terribly sorry.
538
00:21:02,979 --> 00:21:04,044
Please forgive me.
539
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,412
My apologies, Fräulein.
540
00:21:07,383 --> 00:21:08,661
Blimey.
541
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:09,928
Now, don't you have
542
00:21:09,952 --> 00:21:11,630
a little something for me?
543
00:21:11,654 --> 00:21:13,053
You are Papa Bear?
544
00:21:13,088 --> 00:21:15,690
No, but I'll see
that he gets it.
545
00:21:15,725 --> 00:21:18,069
I'll put it in his porridge.
546
00:21:18,093 --> 00:21:19,093
All right.
547
00:21:30,606 --> 00:21:32,484
I'll tell him you'll
be right out.
548
00:21:32,508 --> 00:21:33,952
Thank you, Colonel Hogan.
549
00:21:33,976 --> 00:21:34,976
Yep.
550
00:21:35,978 --> 00:21:37,088
Please hurry.
551
00:21:37,112 --> 00:21:38,813
The count is waiting
552
00:21:38,848 --> 00:21:41,181
to take me on our honeymoon.
553
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,683
I'm sure he won't mind
554
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:44,318
if you're a little late.
555
00:21:44,354 --> 00:21:45,564
What do you mean?
556
00:21:45,588 --> 00:21:47,655
I mean, what are a few moments
557
00:21:47,690 --> 00:21:48,989
when you will have
558
00:21:49,024 --> 00:21:51,191
a lifetime of
happiness together?
559
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,192
Oh.
560
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:53,293
Did I hurt you, Countess?
561
00:21:53,329 --> 00:21:54,294
Oh, please hurry!
562
00:21:54,330 --> 00:21:55,295
I didn't mean to.
563
00:21:55,331 --> 00:21:56,430
I will do as fast as I can.
564
00:21:56,466 --> 00:21:58,082
Really, you're
going to be so lovely.
565
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:00,250
Oh, Count von
Hertzel, congratulations.
566
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:01,251
Thank you.
567
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:02,586
Looking for your lovely bride?
568
00:22:02,621 --> 00:22:03,820
Yes.
569
00:22:03,855 --> 00:22:05,556
She had a little
accident with her gown.
570
00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:06,557
They're repairing it.
571
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:07,558
That is her room.
572
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:08,725
This is the sewing room.
573
00:22:09,795 --> 00:22:10,760
She's ready.
574
00:22:10,796 --> 00:22:12,296
Come along, my lovely.
575
00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:15,332
Beautiful, beautiful.
576
00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:16,600
Don't she look nice?
577
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:17,601
Mm-hmm.
578
00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:18,636
Good luck.
579
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:25,242
What can be taking them so long?
580
00:22:25,277 --> 00:22:27,388
Must be the false
alarm air raid.
581
00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:29,246
Oh, here they come!
582
00:22:39,641 --> 00:22:41,141
I am so glad for Frieda.
583
00:22:41,177 --> 00:22:43,288
Congratulations,
General Burkhalter.
584
00:22:43,312 --> 00:22:44,312
Thank you, Klink.
585
00:22:44,347 --> 00:22:45,412
Did the happy couple
586
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:46,881
get off all right, General?
587
00:22:46,916 --> 00:22:48,115
Yes, Hogan.
588
00:22:48,150 --> 00:22:50,795
I have never seen your
niece look so happy.
589
00:22:50,819 --> 00:22:52,931
They make such a
handsome couple.
590
00:22:52,955 --> 00:22:53,955
Thank you.
591
00:22:56,158 --> 00:22:58,425
Has anyone seen the count?
592
00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,761
He went that way.
593
00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:01,862
Frieda!
594
00:23:01,898 --> 00:23:03,063
Wait for me!
595
00:23:19,348 --> 00:23:21,748
How could this have
happened, Klink?
596
00:23:21,784 --> 00:23:24,451
There were more SS
men at the Hauserhof
597
00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:26,631
than they have at the Reichstag.
598
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:28,022
It only proves again
599
00:23:28,057 --> 00:23:30,457
how incompetent the Gestapo is.
600
00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:32,604
Colonel Hogan to see
you, Herr Kommandant.
601
00:23:32,628 --> 00:23:34,094
Send him in, please.
602
00:23:35,731 --> 00:23:37,376
Any more news about the count?
603
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,466
The hospital says his
condition is the same.
604
00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:41,234
He's still suffering
from amnesia.
605
00:23:41,270 --> 00:23:42,469
I cannot understand it.
606
00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:43,737
Not a mark on his head,
607
00:23:43,773 --> 00:23:46,023
and he still can't
remember getting married.
608
00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:48,392
I'm sure Frieda will
nurse him back to health.
609
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:51,112
There is nothing a man needs
more than a good woman.
610
00:23:51,147 --> 00:23:52,913
You're so right, Klink.
611
00:23:52,948 --> 00:23:57,217
Maybe I will change my mind
and let my sister marry you.
612
00:23:58,353 --> 00:23:59,703
Gertrude?
613
00:23:59,738 --> 00:24:03,490
It just might make a good match.
614
00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:06,577
I don't deserve such happiness.
615
00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,623
If you are lucky enough
to get Gertrude's hand,
616
00:24:08,647 --> 00:24:10,692
there's one thing you can
count on, Commandant.
617
00:24:10,716 --> 00:24:11,716
What's that?
618
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:13,316
A gown by Yvette.
39408
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