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1
00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,027
According to what
we got by shortwave...
2
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,418
And check me on this
as I go, huh, Kinch?
3
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:54,686
Right, Colonel.
4
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,905
The train started out
from here three days ago.
5
00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:58,752
And this is Carinhall,
6
00:00:58,776 --> 00:01:01,654
the estate of Reichsmarschall
Hermann Göring,
7
00:01:01,678 --> 00:01:02,756
head of the Luftwaffe,
8
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:04,123
second in command to Hitler,
9
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,859
owner of the greatest
art collection...
10
00:01:05,883 --> 00:01:07,927
Public or private... in
the history of the world.
11
00:01:07,951 --> 00:01:10,085
Let's here it for Fat Hermann.
12
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,231
Now, when things
were going good,
13
00:01:12,255 --> 00:01:14,233
the Nazis brought
the art collection
14
00:01:14,257 --> 00:01:15,902
to Carinhall by the trainload.
15
00:01:15,926 --> 00:01:18,638
Now, they're taking
it out by the trainload.
16
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:19,895
Where to, Colonel?
17
00:01:19,930 --> 00:01:22,347
We don't know, but
undoubtedly to hide it.
18
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,548
Well, the train was headed
19
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,400
in the direction of these
mountains down here.
20
00:01:25,435 --> 00:01:27,680
If they maintain this direction,
21
00:01:27,704 --> 00:01:30,116
another day should find
them passing very close to...
22
00:01:30,140 --> 00:01:31,272
Stalag 13.
23
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:32,357
Right.
24
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:33,691
Well, it's simple, Colonel.
25
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,827
A couple of my
specials on that track
26
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,864
and then, bam, a gentle
rain of Rembrandts
27
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,198
all over the countryside.
28
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,766
Carter...
29
00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:43,869
I'm just throwing it
out for discussion.
30
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,437
Shh, Schultz's coming.
31
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,540
Colonel Hogan, Colonel Hogan,
32
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:49,975
you will never believe me
33
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:52,110
what wonderful honor
has been paid to me
34
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:54,613
by what terribly
important person...
35
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:55,747
Never, never.
36
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,093
I give up, Schultz. What?
37
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,495
I can't tell you. Good.
38
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,096
Always nice talking
to you, Schultz.
39
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,465
Now, if you'll just come
back anytime next month,
40
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,300
we'll start in right
where we left off.
41
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,225
It begins with "Hermann."
42
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:08,443
Is that the honor or the person?
43
00:02:08,478 --> 00:02:11,546
The honor has been paid to me
44
00:02:11,581 --> 00:02:13,381
to conduct an august person
45
00:02:13,417 --> 00:02:15,550
from Hammelburg to Stalag 13.
46
00:02:15,585 --> 00:02:17,196
And nobody deserves
it more, Schultz.
47
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,098
Now, it's always
nice talking to you.
48
00:02:19,122 --> 00:02:20,888
Chief Forester
of the Third Reich,
49
00:02:20,924 --> 00:02:23,992
Director of the State
Theater and Opera,
50
00:02:24,027 --> 00:02:26,461
Hunting Master of Germany,
51
00:02:26,496 --> 00:02:30,731
victorious commander of
the glorious Luftwaffe and...
52
00:02:30,767 --> 00:02:32,134
Göring?
53
00:02:32,169 --> 00:02:34,002
My lips are sealed.
54
00:02:34,037 --> 00:02:35,304
Göring... coming here?
55
00:02:35,339 --> 00:02:38,473
Why would he be coming here?
56
00:02:38,509 --> 00:02:40,987
Well, it is a Luftwaffe
prison camp, Colonel.
57
00:02:41,011 --> 00:02:42,210
Yeah, small potatoes.
58
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,845
I don't get it.
59
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,925
Well, maybe
Hermann's cracking up.
60
00:02:45,949 --> 00:02:49,217
Schultz, you sure he
asked for you personally?
61
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,920
Me personally, Sergeant Schultz,
62
00:02:51,955 --> 00:02:56,157
special and sole guard of honor!
63
00:02:58,295 --> 00:02:59,295
He's cracking up.
64
00:03:13,176 --> 00:03:15,136
WOMAN: Come in.
65
00:03:20,317 --> 00:03:24,636
Sergeant Schultz reporting
Herr Reichsmarschall!
66
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:30,058
How darling of you, Schultz.
67
00:03:30,093 --> 00:03:33,061
Herr Reichs... marschall.
68
00:03:33,096 --> 00:03:36,230
Ah, he is sleeping.
69
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:39,468
Oh...
70
00:03:39,503 --> 00:03:41,970
Oh, I beg the
Reichsmarschall's pardon.
71
00:03:42,005 --> 00:03:44,172
Oh, please, will you convey
to the Reichsmarschall...
72
00:03:44,207 --> 00:03:45,774
When he wakes up, of course...
73
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,141
That I had no intention...
74
00:03:47,177 --> 00:03:48,254
Talk normally!
75
00:03:48,278 --> 00:03:50,724
You would not awaken
Hermann with a club.
76
00:03:50,748 --> 00:03:52,581
Drink, Schultz?
77
00:03:52,616 --> 00:03:53,815
I'm on duty.
78
00:03:53,851 --> 00:03:54,851
So?
79
00:03:54,885 --> 00:03:56,518
So, I have a small one.
80
00:03:58,288 --> 00:04:01,306
You're surprised to
see me here, Schultz?
81
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:06,345
I would most definitely
say... yes and no.
82
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:09,815
And how is my dear
Commandant Klink?
83
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,884
And my small one, LeBeau?
84
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,153
And... Colonel Hogan.
85
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,588
All are in excellent health...
86
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,777
Fräulein... uh, Frau?
87
00:04:21,812 --> 00:04:22,911
Marya!
88
00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:24,545
Frau Göring we left at home.
89
00:04:24,581 --> 00:04:26,415
She's not much fun on a trip.
90
00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:29,868
Just like my wife.
91
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,736
Sit down, Schultz.
92
00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:39,094
To the war!
93
00:04:39,129 --> 00:04:40,996
May the better side win.
94
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:44,699
My point of view exactly.
95
00:04:44,734 --> 00:04:49,470
You and Hermann, you
have much in common.
96
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,439
I always consider
97
00:04:51,474 --> 00:04:55,310
that on the question of strategy
98
00:04:55,345 --> 00:04:57,179
in the air war,
99
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,648
Reichsmarschall
Göring and myself...
100
00:04:59,683 --> 00:05:01,549
You're both fat.
101
00:05:02,852 --> 00:05:04,703
Excellent observation.
102
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,990
His uniform will
fit you perfectly.
103
00:05:08,025 --> 00:05:09,875
His uniform?
104
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:14,046
Or at least as
well as it fits him.
105
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:18,083
While I'm not very good
in declining honors...
106
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:20,185
I haven't got too
much practice in it...
107
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,786
I feel that in this case...
108
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,022
Sit down, Schultz.
109
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:25,790
Why not?
110
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:29,528
Schultz, Hermann,
in his position,
111
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:33,331
has had to step on certain
toes, you understand.
112
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,300
Go on anyway.
113
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,447
And he was
paranoid to start with.
114
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:40,639
Therefore, when he
makes a public entrance,
115
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,036
he prefers a double
to do it for him.
116
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:45,827
Very good thinking.
117
00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:51,216
Therefore, when he enters
Stalag 13, it will be you.
118
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,546
Hermann will follow quietly.
119
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:56,438
I will be him?
120
00:05:56,473 --> 00:05:57,753
Exactly.
121
00:06:02,645 --> 00:06:06,181
I will be
Reichsmarschall Göring?!
122
00:06:06,216 --> 00:06:09,084
You will never regret it...
123
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,159
unless someone shoots you.
124
00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:14,022
Attention!
125
00:06:14,057 --> 00:06:17,776
Reichsmarschall Göring
has just entered the area.
126
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:22,013
I want to see every man
standing like a statue.
127
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,368
Attention!
128
00:06:26,403 --> 00:06:27,685
Attention!
129
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:39,580
Welcome to...
130
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,227
You will forgive
us, Klink, darling.
131
00:06:41,251 --> 00:06:43,618
Hermann wants to take
me to your quarters at once.
132
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,619
Who knows why?
133
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,920
Driver!
134
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,009
Hogan, I don't understand it.
135
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,445
I thought he was coming
to inspect the camp.
136
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,058
He might get around to it.
137
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,715
And that woman, the Russian,
138
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,584
every time she shows
up there's trouble.
139
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,231
Why don't you have a
man-to-man talk with him, sir?
140
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,087
With the Reichsmarschall?
141
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,988
Are you out of your mind, Hogan?
142
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:41,459
I don't know... I
think I might be.
143
00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,127
The train's headed this way,
144
00:07:43,162 --> 00:07:45,196
then Göring shows
up, with Marya.
145
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:46,198
Why?
146
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:49,078
It could be they plan
to hide all the stuff here.
147
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,068
Could be.
148
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,203
What's Marya's part in it?
149
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,482
Above reproach.
150
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:53,438
Or below.
151
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,956
One of the two.
152
00:07:54,991 --> 00:07:56,190
Okay, I don't like it,
153
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,926
but we've got a train to catch,
154
00:07:57,961 --> 00:07:59,411
so we'll have to grab Göring.
155
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,630
We're going to kidnap Göring?
156
00:08:01,665 --> 00:08:03,331
Anybody got a better way?
157
00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:15,493
Come in, Hogan, darling.
158
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,400
All right, where is he?
159
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,835
In there, asleep.
160
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:25,937
Check it.
161
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,328
He's a good sleeper, too.
162
00:08:33,363 --> 00:08:36,997
Oh-ho... you're so handsome
163
00:08:37,033 --> 00:08:39,300
in your little mask.
164
00:08:39,336 --> 00:08:40,946
And you are so beautiful.
165
00:08:40,970 --> 00:08:42,570
All right, all right, hold it.
166
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,417
Talk to me as he
does, Hogan, darling.
167
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:45,740
I would melt.
168
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:46,741
Later.
169
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,476
We've come for your boyfriend,
170
00:08:48,511 --> 00:08:51,213
which you apparently expected.
171
00:08:51,248 --> 00:08:54,749
Would you remove your
mask, Hogan, darling?
172
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,218
It has been so long.
173
00:08:56,253 --> 00:08:57,985
You don't seem to understand.
174
00:08:58,021 --> 00:08:59,887
We're not here for small talk.
175
00:08:59,923 --> 00:09:03,441
We came to kidnap
Hitler's second in command.
176
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:06,978
Take off your mask
or I shall scream!
177
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:07,846
Mmm...
178
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,981
And my small one.
179
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,650
But of course.
180
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:12,685
Me, too?
181
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:14,967
Put it back.
182
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,023
Uh, sure.
183
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,457
All right, watch the door.
184
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,625
Mmm...
185
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,094
together again...
186
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,829
in love again.
187
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:25,529
Perfect.
188
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,864
Not exactly.
189
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,466
Oh...
190
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,935
Try to get a grip on reality.
191
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,971
We're here to take Göring,
192
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,406
and when the Nazis
find out we've got him,
193
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,641
the whole roof is
going to cave in,
194
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,978
which puts all of
us... You included...
195
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,846
In the worst spot in our lives.
196
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:45,850
All of this just for a
trainload of secondhand art?
197
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:48,353
You know about the train?
198
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,821
Figures.
199
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:53,692
It is really a terrible
plan, Hogan, darling.
200
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:57,061
Suppose you force Hermann
to bring the train here.
201
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,197
How do you get
it out of Germany?
202
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,199
We're working on that.
203
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,046
And what happens
to the operation
204
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,180
here at Stalag 13?
205
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,782
You will kidnap a
Reichsmarschall
206
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,683
and go on with
business as usual?
207
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,175
I doubt it very much.
208
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:14,245
Really, Hogan, darling, you've
been too long without a woman.
209
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,930
Your brain has softened.
210
00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:18,332
Hermann!
211
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,801
Come out, Hermann.
212
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,116
We have company.
213
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:24,539
Did someone call?
214
00:10:24,574 --> 00:10:26,073
Schultz?
215
00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:28,909
Ja, it's... it's Schultz!
216
00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:31,179
Tell them it's Schultz!
217
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,113
Who are you?
218
00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:34,181
All right, what's the game?
219
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,049
Where's Göring?
220
00:10:35,085 --> 00:10:36,050
Who knows?
221
00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,162
I never met him.
222
00:10:37,186 --> 00:10:38,530
You see, she is innocent.
223
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,154
All right, knock it off.
224
00:10:40,189 --> 00:10:42,790
Uh, Colonel Hogan,
please, may I point out
225
00:10:42,826 --> 00:10:46,027
that prisoners of war
are not supposed to be
226
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,079
out of their barracks
after sunset?
227
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:49,964
No, you may not point it out.
228
00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:51,800
Just a thought.
229
00:10:51,835 --> 00:10:54,302
All right, all right,
what's going on here?
230
00:10:54,337 --> 00:10:58,106
Hogan, darling,
might it not be easier
231
00:10:58,141 --> 00:11:02,293
to get the train with a fake
Göring than the real one?
232
00:11:03,647 --> 00:11:05,480
Hmm?
233
00:11:05,515 --> 00:11:07,232
Yeah...
234
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,768
I hear nothing.
235
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,737
I see nothing.
236
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:13,772
Nothing!
237
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:16,991
Nothing!
238
00:11:17,026 --> 00:11:20,361
Would you believe it that
Sergeant Schultz has chosen
239
00:11:20,396 --> 00:11:22,608
this particular time
to go over the hill?
240
00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:24,198
Schultz AWOL... shocking, sir.
241
00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:26,345
Well, you may call it
"absent without leave,"
242
00:11:26,369 --> 00:11:28,080
I call it "desertion
under fire."
243
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:31,038
And, uh... that woman.
244
00:11:32,074 --> 00:11:33,340
There I'm with you.
245
00:11:33,376 --> 00:11:35,220
He's got a perfectly nice wife.
246
00:11:35,244 --> 00:11:36,210
Mm-hmm.
247
00:11:36,245 --> 00:11:37,790
Fine house,
great art collection.
248
00:11:37,814 --> 00:11:40,548
Why does he get
mixed up with her?
249
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:43,217
Personally, I think
that that woman is...
250
00:11:43,252 --> 00:11:45,019
Ah! Good morning.
251
00:11:45,054 --> 00:11:47,388
Good morning, how
wonderful to see you.
252
00:11:47,423 --> 00:11:49,423
You entertain prisoners
253
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,370
in your private office, Klink?
254
00:11:51,394 --> 00:11:53,305
Oh, uh, Colonel Hogan
was just leaving...
255
00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:55,062
Uh, routine business.
256
00:11:55,097 --> 00:11:56,197
Dismissed, Hogan.
257
00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:57,398
Of course, sir.
258
00:12:01,337 --> 00:12:03,370
What is that, Klink?
259
00:12:03,406 --> 00:12:04,739
A white glove?
260
00:12:04,774 --> 00:12:06,054
Schmutz.
261
00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:09,577
It is rather dirty at that.
262
00:12:09,612 --> 00:12:11,252
But, you can assure
Reichsmarschall Göring
263
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,414
when he comes here
on his inspection trip
264
00:12:13,449 --> 00:12:14,782
that there will not be
265
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,684
as much as a speck of dust...
266
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,319
And get off my desk, Hogan.
267
00:12:18,354 --> 00:12:19,354
Oh.
268
00:12:19,388 --> 00:12:21,923
The Reichsmarschall
is not here to inspect...
269
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,324
Lucky for you, Klink.
270
00:12:23,359 --> 00:12:25,009
Lucky for me, yes.
271
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:29,614
However, might I inquire
what his mission is?
272
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,983
Of course, if it's personal,
I wouldn't possibly...
273
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:34,163
Are we to share
the deepest secrets
274
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,031
of the Third Reich
with a prisoner?
275
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:36,888
Of course not.
276
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,440
Hogan, out! Now!
277
00:12:38,475 --> 00:12:40,274
Let him stay.
278
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,671
He will be part
of the work detail.
279
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,279
Work detail?
280
00:12:44,314 --> 00:12:46,581
To bring in the
paintings and statuary.
281
00:12:46,616 --> 00:12:48,628
What did I ever
see in you, Hogan?
282
00:12:48,652 --> 00:12:49,784
You never told me.
283
00:12:49,819 --> 00:12:52,186
Um, excuse me.
284
00:12:52,221 --> 00:12:53,588
Uh... paintings?
285
00:12:53,623 --> 00:12:54,589
Statuary?
286
00:12:54,624 --> 00:12:56,156
And rugs.
287
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,426
Lots of rugs.
288
00:12:58,461 --> 00:13:00,761
I don't understand.
289
00:13:00,797 --> 00:13:01,963
Should I understand?
290
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,899
There will be a train, Klink,
291
00:13:04,935 --> 00:13:06,278
reaching the station near here
292
00:13:06,302 --> 00:13:07,769
very soon.
293
00:13:07,804 --> 00:13:08,903
Blech.
294
00:13:08,939 --> 00:13:10,215
You will send out orders
295
00:13:10,239 --> 00:13:12,084
in the name of
Reichsmarschall Göring
296
00:13:12,108 --> 00:13:13,986
that the contents
of the train are
297
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,555
to be brought here for storage.
298
00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:16,859
They are priceless.
299
00:13:18,849 --> 00:13:22,416
Certainly not your
eyes, they are ordinary.
300
00:13:22,452 --> 00:13:24,051
I cannot remember.
301
00:13:24,087 --> 00:13:25,537
You'll think of it.
302
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:27,605
But priceless art objects?
303
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:30,909
A whole train, to
be brought here?
304
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,945
Give them better
care than your desk,
305
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,346
huh, Klink?
306
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,747
Come on, Hogan.
307
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,553
Must have been something.
308
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,255
We will talk about it.
309
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,392
Oh, Hogan?
310
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,061
How am I to hide
a whole trainload?
311
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,062
How?
312
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,408
Well, I could use a new rug
313
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,543
for my office,
sir... say, 4 x 5.
314
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,887
16th-century Persian
would be nice.
315
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:05,576
Quickly now, quickly.
316
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:07,245
And carefully,
most carefully, huh?
317
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,026
Colonel Klink?
318
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,182
Hogan, I'm busy. Later.
319
00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:13,396
This is a formal protest, sir.
320
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,097
The Geneva Convention
states explicitly
321
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,832
a prisoner-of-war
camp is not to be used
322
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,389
for any other purpose.
323
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,224
Colonel Hogan, given a choice
324
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,260
between obeying the
Geneva Convention
325
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,639
and obeying
Reichsmarschall Göring,
326
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,863
I know what to do.
327
00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:27,209
It's your decision, sir.
328
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,478
I just hope you don't
get hurt too badly
329
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,468
in the power struggle.
330
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,802
W-What power struggle?
331
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:32,803
Göring/Hitler.
332
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:34,973
It could pay off like
a jackpot for you...
333
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:35,974
If your side wins.
334
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,153
Ah, I'm taking no sides.
335
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,809
I am completely loyal.
336
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:39,810
To everyone.
337
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:40,846
Of course you are.
338
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,646
And good luck to you, sir.
339
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,231
Hogan...
340
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,331
All right, Kinch, cover us, huh?
341
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:50,595
Open it up and let's get going.
342
00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:57,506
All right, now, just
the paintings, huh?
343
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,774
And when you get down below,
344
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,715
get it out of the
frames, huh? Too bulky.
345
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:01,794
Kinch, confirm with London
346
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,095
about the planes
for tonight, huh?
347
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,518
Right after dark,
right, Colonel.
348
00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:06,432
All right. Carter, that's
when you stage your attack.
349
00:15:06,456 --> 00:15:08,133
You want me to make that sound
350
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,435
like a battalion or a regiment?
351
00:15:09,459 --> 00:15:10,425
Battalion's fine.
352
00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:11,904
Newkirk and
LeBeau, help him out.
353
00:15:11,928 --> 00:15:12,894
Right.
354
00:15:12,929 --> 00:15:13,961
No problem, sir.
355
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,013
No problem at all.
356
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,732
Just wait awhile.
357
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:21,301
Klink, you are a traitor!
358
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,514
I assure you, Major Hochstetter,
359
00:15:22,538 --> 00:15:24,671
I have done nothing... nothing.
360
00:15:24,707 --> 00:15:28,209
A train robbery of art
objects worth untold millions?
361
00:15:28,244 --> 00:15:29,922
That is nothing in your life?
362
00:15:29,946 --> 00:15:32,546
Major Hochstetter, I
explained that to you.
363
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:35,750
I was given orders by
Reichsmarschall Göring himself.
364
00:15:35,785 --> 00:15:38,569
You will not lie to me!
365
00:15:39,823 --> 00:15:41,300
Of course not,
Major Hochstetter.
366
00:15:41,324 --> 00:15:43,024
To anyone else, yes.
367
00:15:43,059 --> 00:15:44,959
But to the Gestapo, no.
368
00:15:44,995 --> 00:15:45,960
Never.
369
00:15:45,995 --> 00:15:48,863
That is much better, Klink.
370
00:15:48,898 --> 00:15:52,800
After all, we are both
on the same side, no?
371
00:15:52,836 --> 00:15:54,547
We should be friends, huh?
372
00:15:54,571 --> 00:15:55,571
Why not?
373
00:15:55,605 --> 00:15:57,004
Of course, Major Hochstetter.
374
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,639
Some of my best friends...
375
00:15:58,675 --> 00:16:02,643
I mean, some of my
dearest friends are Gestapo.
376
00:16:02,679 --> 00:16:03,978
Who?
377
00:16:04,013 --> 00:16:05,245
Who.
378
00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:08,415
Well, there's, uh...
379
00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:09,851
And then there's, uh...
380
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,864
Oh, what does
that matter, Klink?
381
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,072
You lied again, huh?
382
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,508
You caught me again.
383
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:17,909
But never in the big things.
384
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,543
Silence!
385
00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:21,173
Why did you rob that train?
386
00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:23,330
I told you, Major Hochstetter,
387
00:16:23,366 --> 00:16:25,266
Reichsmarschall
Göring told me to.
388
00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:27,501
Face-to-face?
389
00:16:27,537 --> 00:16:28,736
Not exactly.
390
00:16:28,772 --> 00:16:31,806
It was relayed to me
by the Russian woman.
391
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:38,228
Klink, has it somehow
escaped your vigilance
392
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:40,998
that we are fighting
the Russians?
393
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:43,634
Major Hochstetter,
nothing escapes me.
394
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,436
Nothing.
395
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:47,070
I believe she was
a White Russian.
396
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,640
Ooh, a White Russian.
397
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,319
So that when a White
Russian tells you
398
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:54,111
to hold up a train,
you do it, huh?
399
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:55,112
Not always.
400
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:57,081
Klink!
401
00:16:57,116 --> 00:17:00,885
You will stop this childish
storytelling and now.
402
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,565
Any time you say,
Major Hochstetter.
403
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:03,554
Any time.
404
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,957
Why'd he have to show up?
405
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:06,958
What now, Colonel?
406
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,136
Well, in about two minutes
407
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,705
they're going to be on their way
408
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:10,839
to inspect
Reichsmarschall Göring.
409
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,074
Schultz?
410
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:14,231
I don't think he's going
to pass inspection.
411
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,444
What happens to Marya?
412
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,167
Never mind that.
What happens to us?
413
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,536
Nothing good
unless we move fast.
414
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:20,749
Carter, get outside,
start the attack.
415
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:21,951
Yes, sir.
416
00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:23,619
Kinch, stay in radio
contact with the planes.
417
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,087
If they don't get
a landing signal,
418
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:26,956
tell them to get
out of here and fast.
419
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,490
LeBeau and Newkirk,
go with Carter.
420
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:29,658
What about you, sir?
421
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,148
I'm on my way
to Klink's quarters
422
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,078
and don't ask me why
because I don't know.
423
00:17:33,102 --> 00:17:36,003
No, no, no, no!
424
00:17:36,039 --> 00:17:37,838
Have I ever steered
you wrong, Schultz?
425
00:17:37,874 --> 00:17:38,973
Look at you.
426
00:17:39,008 --> 00:17:41,308
Have you ever lived
so well in all your life?
427
00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:42,421
Never!
428
00:17:42,445 --> 00:17:44,222
But I'd rather be
a live sergeant
429
00:17:44,246 --> 00:17:45,490
than a dead Reichsmarschall.
430
00:17:45,514 --> 00:17:47,214
How'd you like to
be a dead sergeant?
431
00:17:47,249 --> 00:17:48,360
What do...
432
00:17:48,384 --> 00:17:49,628
What do you mean by that?
433
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,329
You're going to tell
Hochstetter the whole truth.
434
00:17:51,353 --> 00:17:52,386
Completely.
435
00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:54,221
That you're only
filling in for Hermann
436
00:17:54,256 --> 00:17:55,623
till Hermann gets here.
437
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:58,226
By direct orders of
Reichsmarschall Göring himself.
438
00:17:58,261 --> 00:18:00,428
Where did you get that idea?
439
00:18:00,463 --> 00:18:02,396
From you, yesterday.
440
00:18:02,432 --> 00:18:03,509
It's true.
441
00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:05,265
Look, Schultz, if
you can't convince us,
442
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,000
what chance have you
got with the Gestapo?
443
00:18:07,036 --> 00:18:08,680
Look, Colonel Hogan,
I have done nothing.
444
00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:09,915
I ate a little bit,
445
00:18:09,939 --> 00:18:11,383
I drank a little bit champagne.
446
00:18:11,407 --> 00:18:12,740
I have done nothing.
447
00:18:12,775 --> 00:18:14,475
Schultz, we're only
trying to help you.
448
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,310
We don't care what you've done.
449
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,856
Thank you, Colonel Hogan...
450
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,458
How are you going to help me?
451
00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:21,916
Just be Fat Hermann
for five minutes longer.
452
00:18:21,951 --> 00:18:22,917
What's that?
453
00:18:22,952 --> 00:18:25,419
Nothing... nothing at all.
454
00:18:25,454 --> 00:18:27,788
And if I refuse?
455
00:18:27,823 --> 00:18:29,924
Then I'm afraid you're
stuck with a very weak story
456
00:18:29,959 --> 00:18:32,559
and I'd have to advise
you to plead guilty.
457
00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:33,605
Colonel Hogan...
458
00:18:33,629 --> 00:18:35,696
Now go in there,
Schultz... I mean Hermann...
459
00:18:35,731 --> 00:18:37,598
And put on a lot
of shaving cream.
460
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:38,765
You're going to need it.
461
00:18:38,801 --> 00:18:40,201
Oh, Colonel Hogan...
462
00:18:40,236 --> 00:18:41,902
Oh, boy.
463
00:18:41,937 --> 00:18:46,173
But Hogan darling,
things are going beautifully.
464
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,608
What do you consider bad?
465
00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,076
You're too modest.
466
00:18:49,112 --> 00:18:51,123
Your ideas are always marvelous.
467
00:18:51,147 --> 00:18:52,413
My idea?
468
00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:54,899
This whole miserable scheme
was yours from the beginning.
469
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,267
True.
470
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,513
Which is why it is so
generous of me to insist
471
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:00,871
on only one planeload.
472
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,139
One planeload of what?
473
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:04,086
Of paintings to go to Russia.
474
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:06,210
How am I going to do that?
475
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,495
They already have their orders.
476
00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:10,175
You will talk to
London, Hogan darling,
477
00:19:10,199 --> 00:19:13,433
and you do need my cooperation.
478
00:19:13,469 --> 00:19:14,568
Why you...
479
00:19:14,604 --> 00:19:17,788
Say it, Hogan darling, say it.
480
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,428
Ah.
481
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:27,899
Commandant Klink
and Major Hochstetter.
482
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,901
Did Hermann send for you?
483
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,347
A thousand pardons
for the intrusion.
484
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,748
I just wanted to make sure
485
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,250
that you had
everything you needed.
486
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:37,686
That is not the reason, Klink.
487
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,154
What is this man doing here?
488
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,477
Hogan?
489
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,057
Oh, I assure you,
Major Hochstetter that...
490
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,375
Hogan, what are you doing here?
491
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:44,749
Pouring champagne.
492
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,951
He's pouring champagne,
Major Hochstetter.
493
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,920
What is he doing here?!
494
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,990
This camp is commanded
by Russians and prisoners.
495
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,259
You do get right to the
heart of things, Major.
496
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,106
I will get to more than that...
497
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,306
You are all under arrest
498
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,931
for high treason
and train robbery.
499
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,207
Major Hochstetter, I assure you
500
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,634
this can all be cleared up
501
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,736
with just one word from
Reichsmarschall Göring.
502
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,549
Ah! Reichsmarschall
Göring is not here.
503
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:08,583
He never was here,
504
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:10,402
and tomorrow,
neither will you be.
505
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:11,636
Take them away!
506
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:12,626
Hogan!
507
00:20:12,661 --> 00:20:13,839
Frau whatever-your-name-is,
508
00:20:13,863 --> 00:20:15,179
do something.
509
00:20:16,766 --> 00:20:19,299
Hermann, darling, are you free?
510
00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:25,906
I order champagne,
511
00:20:25,942 --> 00:20:30,177
it takes five waiters
to bring one bottle.
512
00:20:30,213 --> 00:20:31,245
Out!
513
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,280
Of course, Herr Reichsmarschall.
514
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:34,726
Anything you say,
Herr Reichsmarschall.
515
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:37,585
Who is this waiter?
516
00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:41,555
Colonel Klink, your excellency,
welcoming you to Stalag 13.
517
00:20:41,590 --> 00:20:43,090
A pigpen!
518
00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:44,892
Out!
519
00:20:45,928 --> 00:20:46,928
Pigpen.
520
00:20:46,962 --> 00:20:48,273
Marvelous description,
Herr Reichsmarschall.
521
00:20:48,297 --> 00:20:49,730
You coming, Hochstetter?
522
00:20:49,766 --> 00:20:50,766
One minute.
523
00:20:54,270 --> 00:20:57,938
You understand the Gestapo
keeps track of everyone.
524
00:20:57,973 --> 00:20:59,339
Just an hour ago
525
00:20:59,375 --> 00:21:02,810
we had a Reichsmarschall
Göring at Carinhall,
526
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:05,413
now we have one here.
527
00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:09,950
There is perhaps some
simple explanation, huh?
528
00:21:09,985 --> 00:21:11,251
I doubt it very much.
529
00:21:11,287 --> 00:21:12,253
Aha!
530
00:21:12,288 --> 00:21:13,887
By which Hermann means
531
00:21:13,922 --> 00:21:17,124
he has not the time
to give explanations.
532
00:21:17,159 --> 00:21:18,391
Does he have time, Hogan?
533
00:21:19,429 --> 00:21:20,594
One can but hope.
534
00:21:20,629 --> 00:21:23,630
What is this man doing here?!
535
00:21:23,666 --> 00:21:24,832
Arrest everybody!
536
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,435
What is that?
537
00:21:27,470 --> 00:21:28,436
It sounds like gunfire.
538
00:21:28,471 --> 00:21:29,681
It's an attack.
539
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:31,072
Call out the guards!
540
00:21:31,107 --> 00:21:32,406
Call out the guards!
541
00:21:40,316 --> 00:21:42,761
The plane takes
off in two minutes.
542
00:21:45,388 --> 00:21:47,204
Hurry, keep it moving.
543
00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:48,656
Sounds like partisans, Major.
544
00:21:48,691 --> 00:21:50,691
Here to collect
some artwork, maybe.
545
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:51,925
We will wipe them out.
546
00:21:51,961 --> 00:21:53,293
Come, Klink.
547
00:21:53,328 --> 00:21:55,696
Uh, Major Hochstetter, I
think I'd better stay here
548
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:56,908
and protect the Reichsmarschall.
549
00:21:56,932 --> 00:21:58,231
Come!
550
00:21:59,769 --> 00:22:01,049
Raus.
551
00:22:03,256 --> 00:22:08,458
To the victory, Hogan
darling, of the partisans.
552
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:10,172
Colonel Hogan,
what is happening?
553
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:11,740
It's hard to predict
these things, Schultz.
554
00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:13,330
They may break
into camp far enough
555
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:14,999
to get away with
some of the paintings.
556
00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:16,000
Oh, no, not that.
557
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:17,368
And with all this going on,
558
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:19,303
Göring isn't likely
to pay us a visit.
559
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,582
Who would?
560
00:22:20,606 --> 00:22:22,139
Which releases
you for active duty,
561
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,541
so you can change
uniforms and join the fighting.
562
00:22:24,576 --> 00:22:25,742
Gladly.
563
00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:28,078
Right after I shave.
564
00:22:42,711 --> 00:22:44,878
Ah...
565
00:22:44,913 --> 00:22:48,915
Why do you constantly
fight me, Hogan darling,
566
00:22:48,950 --> 00:22:52,252
when the result is
always so perfect?
567
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,720
Why?
568
00:22:53,755 --> 00:22:55,689
Self-preservation.
569
00:23:02,898 --> 00:23:04,481
No! No! No!
570
00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:06,850
Berlin must have
better answers than this
571
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,163
or heads will roll.
572
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,621
Art masterpieces
worth millions missing.
573
00:23:10,656 --> 00:23:13,457
Was Göring here
or was he not, huh?
574
00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:16,226
A night attack in which
we suffer six wounded
575
00:23:16,261 --> 00:23:18,696
because they
shoot at each other.
576
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:21,097
Major Hochstetter,
may I point out to you
577
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,066
that my record
is still quite clear.
578
00:23:23,101 --> 00:23:24,568
In spite of the attack,
579
00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:26,704
not one, single
prisoner is missing.
580
00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:27,982
What do I care?
581
00:23:28,006 --> 00:23:29,083
Let them all escape.
582
00:23:29,107 --> 00:23:30,318
Where are the paintings?
583
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:31,675
If I may, Major...
584
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:33,911
Uh, it seems to me
they're gone for good.
585
00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:35,857
Best organized
attack I've ever seen.
586
00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:37,214
Berlin should be pretty happy
587
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:39,549
with you saving
the rest of that stuff.
588
00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:40,624
It took courage, sir.
589
00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:42,352
Did I ask for your
opinion, Hogan?
590
00:23:42,387 --> 00:23:44,399
No, sir, but I think
you're making a mistake
591
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:45,801
in not blowing your own horn.
592
00:23:45,825 --> 00:23:48,225
So? And what shall I
report about Göring, huh?
593
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,492
Was he or was he not?
594
00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:50,593
I think you're right
595
00:23:50,629 --> 00:23:52,290
in staying away from
that whole area, sir.
596
00:23:52,314 --> 00:23:54,059
How can I stay away from it?
597
00:23:54,083 --> 00:23:55,048
Why should I?
598
00:23:55,084 --> 00:23:56,049
It's touchy.
599
00:23:56,085 --> 00:23:57,528
Commandant Klink has a feeling
600
00:23:57,552 --> 00:23:59,564
that Göring may have
been here to organize
601
00:23:59,588 --> 00:24:00,766
a base against the Führer.
602
00:24:00,790 --> 00:24:01,822
I do?
603
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:03,468
You know these
high-level power struggles.
604
00:24:03,492 --> 00:24:04,792
They're tricky
605
00:24:04,827 --> 00:24:07,873
unless you're really
sure of your ground.
606
00:24:07,897 --> 00:24:11,832
Hogan, are you suggesting
that nothing should be done
607
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:15,402
about any of these
outrageous events?
608
00:24:15,437 --> 00:24:16,815
Mind like a steel trap, sir.
609
00:24:16,839 --> 00:24:17,916
Or in other words,
610
00:24:17,940 --> 00:24:21,609
all is well that ends well.
611
00:24:22,945 --> 00:24:24,544
Major Hochstetter, may I say
612
00:24:24,580 --> 00:24:26,413
it was a great pleasure
working with you.
613
00:24:26,448 --> 00:24:28,682
And you will give
my personal regards
614
00:24:28,718 --> 00:24:29,750
to Reichsführer Himmler?
615
00:24:31,020 --> 00:24:32,052
Raus!
616
00:24:33,956 --> 00:24:36,090
And I'm giving you 30
days solitary confinement
617
00:24:36,125 --> 00:24:37,658
for being absent without leave.
618
00:24:41,497 --> 00:24:44,197
How could this happen to me?
619
00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:46,066
We'll make it up
to you, Schultz.
620
00:24:46,102 --> 00:24:48,568
How about a painting?
621
00:24:48,604 --> 00:24:50,037
Oh, please.
39188
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