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1
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,316
Now, this area here, Hogan,
2
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:54,185
we want it cleared
of trees and brush.
3
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,499
You want us to do it?
4
00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:56,822
Oh, Berlin will pay.
5
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,624
Ten pfennigs an hour per man.
6
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,137
Which means they've
authorized 25 pfennigs an hour.
7
00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:03,440
You give us ten;
keep 15 to yourself.
8
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,863
Hogan, I resent that.
9
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,064
Where do you get such ideas?
10
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:07,143
Mainly from you.
11
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,812
Excuse, Herr Kommandant.
12
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,396
A Captain Bohrmann
is here to see you.
13
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:12,098
Bohrmann? I don't know
any Captain Bohrmann.
14
00:01:12,122 --> 00:01:13,438
I'm busy. Send him away.
15
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:14,322
Gestapo.
16
00:01:14,358 --> 00:01:16,241
Well, don't just let
the man sit out there.
17
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:19,127
The commandant may
be able to squeeze him in.
18
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:20,645
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
19
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,782
We'll discuss our
business later. Dismissed.
20
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,921
I hate a sloppy war.
21
00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:38,880
Colonel Klink, Heil Hitler.
22
00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:40,265
Heil Hitler.
23
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,417
Uh, please, Captain,
sit down, sit down.
24
00:01:42,453 --> 00:01:45,787
What can I do for you?
25
00:01:45,823 --> 00:01:48,401
I have been assigned to Gestapo
Headquarters in Dusseldorf.
26
00:01:48,425 --> 00:01:49,791
Mm-hmm.
27
00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:52,305
But I am living in
Hamilburg at the moment,
28
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:55,147
Houselhof Hotel, room 209.
29
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,465
Very interesting.
30
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,300
But is it important?
31
00:01:59,335 --> 00:02:00,480
Very.
32
00:02:00,504 --> 00:02:01,681
What's this captain's game?
33
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,571
Keep quiet,
maybe we'll find out.
34
00:02:03,607 --> 00:02:05,440
Of course I remember
35
00:02:05,475 --> 00:02:07,387
the plot to
assassinate the Führer.
36
00:02:07,411 --> 00:02:09,528
Could any loyal
German ever forget it?
37
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:12,364
I don't think you will.
38
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:15,634
The conspirators are
still being rounded up.
39
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,537
A very important man
was recently arrested.
40
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:22,674
I searched his house,
found this picture
41
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,459
and the negative.
42
00:02:24,494 --> 00:02:26,378
Mm-hmm.
43
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,732
No, it's not possible.
44
00:02:30,768 --> 00:02:32,917
Klink sounds like he
swallowed his monocle.
45
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,353
Must be some picture.
46
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,487
Klink and a woman, maybe?
47
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:38,122
Impossible. Klink's
in love with Klink.
48
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,985
He wouldn't let anyone
come between himself.
49
00:02:40,009 --> 00:02:42,244
General Molendorf.
50
00:02:42,279 --> 00:02:44,273
That's his arm
around your shoulders.
51
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,198
Yes, we were friends.
52
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:50,051
Close friends and very
possibly associated in the plot
53
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,086
to assassinate the Führer.
54
00:02:52,122 --> 00:02:53,538
Hardly knew the man.
55
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,418
We went to school
together for ten years,
56
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,709
saw each other every
day, but what's that?
57
00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,261
You were also best
man at his wedding.
58
00:03:00,297 --> 00:03:03,382
Oh, well, I had nothing
else to do that afternoon.
59
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:06,501
Colonel, I have a problem.
60
00:03:06,536 --> 00:03:11,273
If I turn this picture in to
Gestapo Headquarters,
61
00:03:11,308 --> 00:03:14,876
an innocent man may be executed.
62
00:03:14,911 --> 00:03:15,794
Innocent?
63
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,345
You.
64
00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:19,347
Me? I'm not innocent.
65
00:03:19,382 --> 00:03:22,083
I mean, I am innocent.
What have I done?
66
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:28,740
If I destroy the
negative or give it to you,
67
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:33,612
I won't exactly be
doing my duty, will I?
68
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:37,315
No, you do have a problem.
69
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,785
Klink's beautiful, isn't he?
70
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,564
Little Alice in Krautland.
71
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,522
How stupid can one man be?
72
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,000
Keep listening, he'll tell you.
73
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:47,275
And you expect me
to pay your hotel bill?
74
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:51,029
In addition to, say,
1,000 marks right now,
75
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,226
while I consider the problem.
76
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,917
Couldn't you consider the
problem a little less expensively?
77
00:03:55,952 --> 00:04:00,488
The life of an innocent
commandant is at stake.
78
00:04:00,524 --> 00:04:02,140
Oh.
79
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,226
I'll get the money
out of the safe.
80
00:04:08,431 --> 00:04:10,599
That's blackmail.
81
00:04:10,634 --> 00:04:12,712
Bohrmann will take Klink
for every penny he's got
82
00:04:12,736 --> 00:04:14,936
and then have him
executed anyway to cover up.
83
00:04:14,972 --> 00:04:16,315
That's nice. Yeah, lovely.
84
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,774
Au revoir, Monsieur
Klink, and I mean au revoir.
85
00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:21,654
If the Gestapo takes
him away, we're next.
86
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,356
His enemy is our enemy.
87
00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:24,591
Well, why'd you want to save
88
00:04:24,615 --> 00:04:26,247
a bloody fool like Klink?
89
00:04:26,282 --> 00:04:28,294
I don't want to,
but let's face it,
90
00:04:28,318 --> 00:04:30,752
bloody fools don't
grow on trees.
91
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,517
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
92
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,252
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
93
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,122
Detail, halt!
94
00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:53,925
Left face!
95
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,330
Roll call!
96
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:01,500
When I call your name, answer!
97
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,812
Look alive!
98
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,036
Who's alive?
99
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,331
Quiet!
100
00:05:05,355 --> 00:05:07,755
I said, look alive,
do you understand?!
101
00:05:07,791 --> 00:05:09,824
Get it over with, Schultz.
102
00:05:09,859 --> 00:05:12,326
Achtung! The commandant.
103
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,047
Commandant, hold it a minute.
104
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:17,059
Hogan, what is
it? I'm in a hurry.
105
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,799
The work's coming
along beautifully, sir.
106
00:05:18,835 --> 00:05:20,012
Yeah, beautifully, sir.
107
00:05:20,036 --> 00:05:21,580
Excellent, excellent. Carry on.
108
00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:23,421
It's a real picnic slaving away
109
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,723
out there in the cold.
110
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,091
Ja, it's a real picnic.
111
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,959
It is? Especially without pay.
112
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,645
We've been at it almost a week
now... when do we get paid?
113
00:05:30,681 --> 00:05:33,631
Hogan, is that all you
can think about? Money?
114
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,133
Only when I don't have it.
115
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,635
You'll get paid when the
paymaster arrives from Berlin.
116
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,937
Now keep up the good work.
117
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,421
Driver, go on.
118
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:49,692
As soon as the
paymaster arrives?
119
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,660
You heard what our
fearless leader said.
120
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,619
But the paymaster
arrived the night before last.
121
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:55,704
Are you sure?
122
00:05:55,739 --> 00:05:57,805
I opened the gate
for him myself.
123
00:05:57,841 --> 00:05:59,690
How's that news bulletin, folks?
124
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,020
Colonel Hogan,
125
00:06:01,044 --> 00:06:03,594
is there some monkey
business going on?
126
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:07,299
Next time you see a monkey
wearing a monocle, ask him.
127
00:06:10,053 --> 00:06:12,654
He's tapping the till,
that's what he's doing.
128
00:06:12,689 --> 00:06:14,700
Bohrmann must have
put the bite on Klink again.
129
00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:16,791
And he's using our
wages to pay off.
130
00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:19,139
And we go out every day
and work like the fools we are.
131
00:06:19,163 --> 00:06:21,579
Well, not me...
Tomorrow I go on strike.
132
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:24,499
That's all you Frenchmen
ever do, go on strike.
133
00:06:24,535 --> 00:06:26,151
And make love.
134
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,820
Yeah, you never hear them
striking about that, do you?
135
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,521
Jealousy will get you nowhere.
136
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,789
All right, knock it off.
137
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,091
We took the job Klink offered
138
00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:34,971
so we could get outside
the fence every day
139
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,035
so we could operate.
140
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,474
That's not going
to last, Colonel.
141
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:38,808
They're going to catch Klink
142
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,776
with his hand in the cash
register and chop it off.
143
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,033
Yeah, and his head, too.
144
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,779
We've got to do
something about that picture
145
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:44,947
to take the heat off Klink.
146
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,272
Us get the picture? How?
147
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,274
Go into town and ask Bohrmann.
148
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,342
Nothing to it.
149
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,177
Yeah, that's exactly
what I had in mind.
150
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,112
Kinch, do you
have the floor plan
151
00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:55,747
to the Houselhorf
Hotel in the file?
152
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:58,583
I think so. Let's see.
153
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,954
Houselhorf... right here.
154
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:04,456
Thanks.
155
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:06,824
Now, Bohrmann said he
was in room 209, second floor.
156
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,260
That's right here.
157
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,306
Do you think he'd still
have the negative on him?
158
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,142
Probably. We'll
just have to risk it.
159
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,909
Now, if we could get the
room next to Bohrmann,
160
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,133
we might have a chance.
161
00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:16,479
It doesn't look good, Colonel.
162
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:17,669
We've got no choice.
163
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,804
We move out tomorrow night.
164
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:22,374
If you ask me, sir, I
think it's a bit chancy.
165
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,209
Newkirk, nobody asked you.
166
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,189
Would you rather
have a brand-new Kraut
167
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,763
running this little old Stalag?
168
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,018
Not just any room.
169
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,254
I said number 210!
170
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,767
Impossible. There
is a reservation.
171
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:15,359
This is Oberführer
Hoganheimer. Gestapo!
172
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:18,279
We have oberführers here
all the time, nothing new.
173
00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:20,932
He's not just an
ordinary oberführer,
174
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,651
he's really ober da oberführers.
175
00:08:23,687 --> 00:08:24,919
I know.
176
00:08:24,955 --> 00:08:28,205
He's the oberest
oberführer of them all.
177
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:31,876
Now, give me the
key to 210, please!
178
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,678
It cannot be done. I'm sorry.
179
00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:35,563
Just a minute, Unterführer.
180
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:38,667
You see, I'm the unterführer,
he's the oberführer.
181
00:08:38,702 --> 00:08:39,934
Please, don't do that again.
182
00:08:39,969 --> 00:08:41,235
I'll handle this.
183
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,104
Jawohl, Oberfuhrer Hoganheimer.
184
00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:47,642
Yes, we are most
anxious to have room 210.
185
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:56,818
Eh... perhaps if I juggle
it around a bit, I can, uh...
186
00:08:56,853 --> 00:08:58,702
Juggle away, gnadige frau.
187
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,187
Please.
188
00:09:00,223 --> 00:09:04,759
Ja, Herr Oberfuhrer,
you may have room 210.
189
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:09,314
Ah, one of your officers,
Captain Bohrmann, is in 209.
190
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,783
Don't tell him we're here.
191
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,200
We'd like to surprise him.
192
00:09:13,236 --> 00:09:14,969
I understand, sir.
193
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,756
This way, please.
194
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,274
Marvelous, Oberführer.
195
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,559
Excellent.
196
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,119
Good night, gentlemen.
197
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:49,654
Good night. Good night.
198
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:51,134
Heil Hitler. Heil Hitler.
199
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,258
Heil Hitler.
200
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,004
Her and her bloody Heil Hitlers.
201
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,394
Shh.
202
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,196
I'm sorry. Shh.
203
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,865
I'm sorry.
204
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,067
Heil Hitler.
205
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,279
Newkirk.
206
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,247
Open it.
207
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,528
Well, why didn't you... Shh.
208
00:10:18,552 --> 00:10:20,684
I'm sorry.
209
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:39,070
I'm sorry.
210
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:30,054
Fire! Fire! Fire in the hall!
211
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:31,639
Fire!
212
00:11:31,675 --> 00:11:33,158
There's fire!
213
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:35,827
Fire!
214
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,295
Fire! Right down
there, there's fire!
215
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:43,651
Fire! Fire!
216
00:11:43,686 --> 00:11:45,186
Fire!
217
00:11:45,221 --> 00:11:48,355
There's fire everywhere!
218
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,543
Fire in the halls! Fire!
219
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,039
Fire!
220
00:11:54,063 --> 00:11:55,863
Okay, sir, did it work?
221
00:11:55,899 --> 00:11:57,076
He only took the leather box.
222
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,610
The negative has
got to be in there.
223
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,212
Get rid of that, will you?
224
00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:02,070
And fast!
225
00:12:05,175 --> 00:12:08,176
I got a feeling we're just
never gonna win this war.
226
00:12:08,211 --> 00:12:09,822
Oh, God.
227
00:12:09,846 --> 00:12:11,779
Come on.
228
00:12:17,086 --> 00:12:18,586
Yes, yes, Schultz, I'm aware
229
00:12:18,621 --> 00:12:20,541
you're only getting
half your pay.
230
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,956
What happened, Herr Kommandant?
231
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:25,225
I told you, the paymaster
didn't bring us enough money.
232
00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:27,846
Is there anything
wrong in Berlin?
233
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,998
Oh, Herr Kommandant, if
it's a secret, you can tell me.
234
00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:33,384
I won't tell a word to anybody.
235
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,820
There is nothing
wrong in Berlin...
236
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,688
more than usual.
237
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,807
Oh, Herr Kommandant.
238
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:42,477
My pay is nothing to start with.
239
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:46,880
If you cut it in half,
I get half of nothing.
240
00:12:46,916 --> 00:12:50,301
Schultz, is money
all that concerns you?
241
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:51,936
Don't you ever think
of the experience
242
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,304
you're getting in the service?
243
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:56,173
Herr Kommandant, couldn't
I get experience on full pay?
244
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,110
Doesn't it mean anything
to you to serve the Führer?
245
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,323
Is the Führer on half pay?
246
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:03,882
Don't you have any
love for your fatherland?
247
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,795
Oh, I do, Herr Kommandant. I do,
248
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:08,987
but couldn't I have
love and money?
249
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,923
Now, Schultz, your
service record is very good.
250
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,791
Don't spoil it by complaining.
251
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:17,261
There may even be a promotion.
252
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:21,799
If this war continues,
someday all this may be yours.
253
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,345
Who needs it? Oh, I mean,
254
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:26,504
Herr Kommandant, I'm
very happy being a sergeant.
255
00:13:32,428 --> 00:13:34,128
Colonel Hogan, what shall I do?
256
00:13:34,163 --> 00:13:36,275
Sue the Luftwaffe for my pay?
257
00:13:36,299 --> 00:13:38,232
You can accept what
they give you, Schultz,
258
00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:39,767
or sue them and
wait for the rest
259
00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:40,803
at the Russian Front.
260
00:13:40,837 --> 00:13:42,014
But it's not fair.
261
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,671
I'm a sergeant of the guard.
262
00:13:43,707 --> 00:13:45,106
Every day I risk my life
263
00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:47,052
guarding you
dangerous prisoners.
264
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,310
Shultz, take the
half pay and forget it.
265
00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:51,546
War's not only
rotten, it's expensive.
266
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,021
Why should I pay the bill?
267
00:13:55,118 --> 00:13:57,118
Uh... I got an idea.
268
00:13:59,122 --> 00:14:00,087
Maybe the prisoners
269
00:14:00,123 --> 00:14:01,823
could take up a
collection for you.
270
00:14:01,858 --> 00:14:03,102
Oh, I couldn't take money
271
00:14:03,126 --> 00:14:04,091
from the prisoners.
272
00:14:04,127 --> 00:14:05,426
I was just trying to help.
273
00:14:05,461 --> 00:14:07,439
Oh, boy, am I in trouble.
274
00:14:07,463 --> 00:14:10,031
When I send my wife
only half the money
275
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:11,777
she usually gets... oh, boy!
276
00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:13,768
Straighten it out when
you go home on leave.
277
00:14:13,803 --> 00:14:14,981
She'll straighten me out.
278
00:14:15,005 --> 00:14:16,170
Then don't go home.
279
00:14:16,205 --> 00:14:17,383
She'll come and get me.
280
00:14:17,407 --> 00:14:20,575
Uh... Colonel Hogan,
281
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:24,445
I can't take money from
the prisoners, but, uh...
282
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,248
maybe a little loan from you.
283
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:31,018
How much interest
would you charge me?
284
00:14:31,054 --> 00:14:32,603
Charge a friend interest?
285
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,271
That's insulting, Schultz.
286
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:35,586
Oh, excuse me.
287
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,142
I'm sorry.
288
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,544
Oh, Colonel Hogan,
289
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:43,481
thank you, you saved my life!
290
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,750
And you ask nothing for it.
291
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:46,951
Nothing. However...
292
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,152
However.
293
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:51,155
Uh...
294
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:52,434
Impossible.
295
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,425
Impossible, huh?
296
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,095
Impossible, but
we try it anyway.
297
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,096
Tomorrow?
298
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,097
Yeah.
299
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,098
Good boy.
300
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,213
Danke.
301
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,771
We make our move
tomorrow during the work detail.
302
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,316
That is fabulous.
Marvelous, marvelous.
303
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,807
How'd you manage that, Colonel?
304
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:10,758
I told Schultz we wanted
305
00:15:10,793 --> 00:15:12,159
to work the farms
around the camp
306
00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:13,160
for some extra food.
307
00:15:13,196 --> 00:15:14,628
As soon as we get
outside the wire,
308
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,230
we'll disappear for
a couple of hours.
309
00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:18,577
Then sneak into town and
snatch the ol' negative, eh?
310
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:20,250
Certainment. Day
is the best time
311
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:21,752
to steal it... when he's gone.
312
00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:23,721
He's small, but all brains.
313
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:24,722
What are we going to do
314
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,001
about civilian clothes, sir?
315
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:27,191
Wear them under our uniforms.
316
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,192
We'll ditch this stuff
317
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,594
as soon as we
get rid of Schultz.
318
00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:31,795
Colonel Hogan.
319
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,364
Colonel Hogan.
320
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,562
I was thinking.
321
00:15:36,586 --> 00:15:38,368
You know that's
bad for you, Schultz.
322
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:39,420
It makes you hungry.
323
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,007
I can't do what
you asked me to do.
324
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,143
I'd rather pay interest.
325
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,411
A deal's a deal, Schultz.
326
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,490
And a wife is a wife.
327
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,414
You didn't have to
marry her, you know.
328
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,748
Now he gives me advice.
329
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,183
Where were you
when I needed you?
330
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:56,954
Achtzehn, neunzehn, zwanzig.
331
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,356
All present.
332
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,624
Detail!
333
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,992
Left face!
334
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,763
Forward march!
335
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,765
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
336
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,300
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
337
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:10,779
Eins... Schultz, please.
338
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:11,969
You're confusing the men.
339
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:12,970
You're out of step.
340
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:14,721
Zwei, drei, vier.
341
00:16:14,757 --> 00:16:16,691
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
342
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,287
Eins, zwei, drei, vier. Halt!
343
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,894
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
344
00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:22,029
Just a minute! I said halt.
345
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,397
Halt!
346
00:16:24,634 --> 00:16:26,467
We were just going out
to work, Commandant.
347
00:16:26,503 --> 00:16:27,468
You're not going.
348
00:16:27,504 --> 00:16:28,647
Schultz, dismiss the men.
349
00:16:28,671 --> 00:16:29,681
I have decided to cancel
350
00:16:29,705 --> 00:16:30,766
the project. I thought we
351
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,067
were doing fine, sir. You were.
352
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,091
Was it something I said?
353
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,269
The money for their pay
354
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,570
has not come from Berlin.
355
00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:36,794
Well, that's all right.
356
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,580
Maybe we can work out time
payments. Time payments?
357
00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:41,260
Sure. Hitler's
good for the money.
358
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:42,449
Absolutely!
359
00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:44,168
You stay out of this.
360
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,837
He can always cash
in France if he has to.
361
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:48,450
You mean you
would work on credit?
362
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,090
Of course. Right, men?
363
00:16:50,126 --> 00:16:51,091
Yes. Yay!
364
00:16:51,127 --> 00:16:52,092
You bet we would.
365
00:16:52,128 --> 00:16:54,106
After all, it's our stalag, too.
366
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,095
And we love it!
367
00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:57,442
We're enemies, and
we hate each other, sir,
368
00:16:57,466 --> 00:16:58,399
but we live here.
369
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,250
For us, it's...
370
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,086
well, RFD Germany.
371
00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:05,434
Hogan,
372
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,641
I'm deeply touched.
373
00:17:07,676 --> 00:17:08,842
So am I.
374
00:17:08,878 --> 00:17:09,921
But...
375
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:12,513
I cannot have my
prisoners work on credit
376
00:17:12,548 --> 00:17:14,482
when I've promised to pay them.
377
00:17:14,517 --> 00:17:15,499
Gentlemen,
378
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,352
I thank you from the
bottom of my heart.
379
00:17:18,387 --> 00:17:20,687
Hooray!
380
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,769
Tell you what, Commandant,
we'll finish the job,
381
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:24,758
you can forget the money.
382
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,305
You mean you would
work for nothing?
383
00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:27,862
Yeah, we want to
beautify this place.
384
00:17:27,897 --> 00:17:28,897
Want it to look nice when
385
00:17:28,931 --> 00:17:30,597
General Patton's
tanks come rolling in.
386
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:32,344
Request denied.
Schultz, dismiss the men.
387
00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:33,334
But, Commandant...
388
00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:34,335
The work will resume
389
00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:36,215
when the financial
situation is cleared up.
390
00:17:36,239 --> 00:17:37,738
Dismissed.
391
00:17:37,773 --> 00:17:40,640
Work detail, dismissed!
392
00:17:43,779 --> 00:17:44,745
There goes the plan.
393
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:46,213
Yeah, looks like that Bohrmann
394
00:17:46,249 --> 00:17:48,015
is really putting
the bite on Klink.
395
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:49,094
Yeah, all the more reason
396
00:17:49,118 --> 00:17:50,562
to get him off the
hook, and fast.
397
00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:52,552
All right, we go
out tonight anyway.
398
00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:54,032
We go through the
emergency tunnel.
399
00:17:54,056 --> 00:17:55,968
Steal the negative with
Bohrmann in his room?
400
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,236
Suppose he wakes up, Colonel?
401
00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:58,692
Put him to sleep again.
402
00:17:58,727 --> 00:18:00,239
Oh. I just thought I'd ask.
403
00:18:00,263 --> 00:18:01,840
It sounds logical, though.
404
00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,008
I'll need another man.
405
00:18:03,032 --> 00:18:04,698
LeBeau, you want to volunteer?
406
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:07,246
Can I have some time
to think about it, Colonel?
407
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:08,835
I accept your offer.
408
00:18:08,871 --> 00:18:11,939
Doesn't take me long to decide.
409
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,726
Abend, gentlemen.
410
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:16,928
Heil Hitler.
411
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,846
Abend. Key 210, please.
412
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:22,466
And please see if
we have any mail.
413
00:18:27,389 --> 00:18:30,090
There are no letters
for you. I'm sorry.
414
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:31,091
Danke.
415
00:18:31,126 --> 00:18:32,760
Danke, gnadige frau.
416
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,733
Not exactly Claridge's,
but we like it.
417
00:18:39,769 --> 00:18:40,868
Shh.
418
00:18:40,903 --> 00:18:42,102
Sorry.
419
00:19:33,122 --> 00:19:35,562
We'll wait till he's asleep.
420
00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:15,529
Hmm?
421
00:20:20,336 --> 00:20:21,768
It started with me.
422
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,084
Oh, I'm sorry.
423
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,450
Just a touch of realism, sir.
424
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:37,684
Let's go.
425
00:20:47,096 --> 00:20:51,732
Let's have one more
little old drink of schnapps!
426
00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:55,403
Nein, the schnapps
is all shnapped out.
427
00:20:55,438 --> 00:20:58,221
I must have more schnapps!
428
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:03,344
And I say you can't
have more schnapps!
429
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:05,962
You want to fight?
430
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:08,765
I want to settle
it the only way.
431
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,768
Stop the noise or I'll
settle the two of you.
432
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:13,437
Who are you, mein herr?
433
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:15,456
I am trying to sleep.
434
00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:17,441
LeBEAU: That's so funny...
435
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:22,446
What have you got
against my old friend?
436
00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:23,947
Take your hands off me.
437
00:21:23,982 --> 00:21:25,282
Captain, go to heck.
438
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:27,717
No, no, no, you can't talk
439
00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:29,286
to my friend that way.
440
00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:33,274
Will you take your hands off me?
441
00:21:33,309 --> 00:21:34,886
I will have the two of you
442
00:21:34,910 --> 00:21:35,993
thrown in jail.
443
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:37,360
LeBEAU: Good. Good idea.
444
00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:39,162
It's not much trouble.
445
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:41,164
What are you
going to do about it?
446
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,232
About what?
447
00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:43,233
Anything.
448
00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:44,768
Yeah, good.
449
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:46,515
Now, do you really think...?
450
00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:48,305
Get your hands off me!
451
00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:52,109
We're terribly...
terribly sorry.
452
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:54,895
We had a little too
much schnapps.
453
00:21:54,930 --> 00:21:56,763
I should say you have.
454
00:21:56,799 --> 00:21:58,482
LeBEAU: We owe
you an apology, sir.
455
00:21:58,517 --> 00:22:00,317
Just get out of here.
456
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,332
Good night and
pleasant dreams, sir.
457
00:22:04,356 --> 00:22:05,456
Can I have a...?
458
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:06,457
Quiet down. Shh-shh.
459
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:07,458
Heil Hitler.
460
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,459
Heil Hitler.
461
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:09,460
No more noise.
462
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:10,461
Shh! Shh!
463
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,462
Heil Hitler.
464
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:13,013
Heil Hitler.
465
00:22:13,048 --> 00:22:14,598
I got it.
466
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:15,799
Great. Let's celebrate.
467
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:16,800
Can we stop at the hofbrau?
468
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:17,801
Too risky. Back to camp.
469
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:18,802
Oh, come on, Colonel.
470
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:19,803
One bottle of wine.
471
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:20,804
Don't argue.
472
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,350
Right. Remember,
I'm an oberführer.
473
00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:23,551
Right. He's the oberführer,
474
00:22:23,575 --> 00:22:24,541
I'm an unterführer.
475
00:22:24,576 --> 00:22:26,610
That also makes you
an unterführer. Got it?
476
00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:27,945
Crystal clear.
477
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,190
Good, then explain it to me
478
00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:30,380
on the way back to camp.
479
00:22:33,585 --> 00:22:34,818
Come in, come in!
480
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,297
You sent for me, Commandant?
481
00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:37,287
Yes, Hogan.
482
00:22:37,322 --> 00:22:38,889
I have been thinking
about your offer
483
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,691
to do the cleanup
work outside the fence.
484
00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:42,170
I've been thinking
about it, too.
485
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:43,160
Good, good, good. Yeah.
486
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,439
We want 25 pfennigs an hour,
487
00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:46,291
not the ten you
were going to give us.
488
00:22:46,315 --> 00:22:48,699
What? You said you
would do it for nothing.
489
00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:50,734
The offer was for
a limited time only.
490
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:51,985
It expired at midnight.
491
00:22:52,021 --> 00:22:53,553
You'd kick a man when he's down.
492
00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:54,672
Kick you, sir?
493
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:56,535
Berlin expects
this job to be done.
494
00:22:56,559 --> 00:22:57,736
They're sending an inspector,
495
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,127
and I simply do not have
the money to pay for all this.
496
00:23:00,162 --> 00:23:02,040
You're in a tough spot, sir.
497
00:23:02,064 --> 00:23:05,132
I never thought I would
beg you for anything.
498
00:23:05,167 --> 00:23:07,051
What's this?
499
00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:08,452
Looks like a negative.
500
00:23:08,487 --> 00:23:11,321
Yeah, I'm positive
it's a negative.
501
00:23:11,356 --> 00:23:13,924
"Merry Christmas from a friend."
502
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,999
A little early, but
it's a nice thought.
503
00:23:17,513 --> 00:23:18,478
Hogan.
504
00:23:18,513 --> 00:23:20,781
Do you know what
this means? Do you?
505
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,783
I don't need your help.
506
00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:25,319
Ten pfennigs an
hour, take it or leave it.
507
00:23:25,354 --> 00:23:26,798
A minute ago you were a mouse.
508
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,133
What turned you into a rat?
509
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,723
This proves that I have friends.
510
00:23:29,758 --> 00:23:31,892
People who are willing
to do things for me,
511
00:23:31,927 --> 00:23:33,394
and you are not one of them.
512
00:23:33,429 --> 00:23:35,140
I'd like to be,
sir, I really would.
513
00:23:35,164 --> 00:23:38,199
Then try harder, Hogan. Try.
514
00:23:38,234 --> 00:23:39,411
I will, and thank you, sir,
515
00:23:39,435 --> 00:23:41,875
for giving me a second chance.
516
00:23:53,131 --> 00:23:54,364
Are we all in, gents?
517
00:23:55,801 --> 00:23:56,767
Come on.
518
00:23:56,802 --> 00:23:58,246
Now, how do you
like that colonel?
519
00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,447
He only had a pair of deuces
520
00:23:59,471 --> 00:24:00,982
and he stole the
pot from us again.
521
00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:01,972
And I had wired kings.
522
00:24:02,007 --> 00:24:03,051
Why didn't you see me, then?
523
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:04,853
Newkirk, you ought to
play poker with Hitler.
524
00:24:04,877 --> 00:24:06,120
You'd bluff him out of the war.
525
00:24:06,144 --> 00:24:09,046
Abend, gentlemen. Heil...
526
00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:10,781
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!
527
00:24:10,816 --> 00:24:12,527
No gambling in the barracks!
528
00:24:12,551 --> 00:24:14,629
Glad you reminded us, Schultz.
529
00:24:14,653 --> 00:24:16,903
Oh, yeah. We got
to remember that.
530
00:24:16,938 --> 00:24:19,439
That's all I ask,
and keep it in mind.
531
00:24:19,474 --> 00:24:21,875
Colonel Hogan, I
got my back pay,
532
00:24:21,911 --> 00:24:25,111
and I want to give you
the money I owe you.
533
00:24:25,147 --> 00:24:27,781
Ah, didn't I tell you
he's a good credit risk?
534
00:24:27,816 --> 00:24:29,460
Thank you. Oh,
Schultz, as I recall,
535
00:24:29,484 --> 00:24:32,753
you owe me 25 marks
from blackjack last month.
536
00:24:32,788 --> 00:24:34,655
Thank you very much indeed.
537
00:24:34,690 --> 00:24:36,334
And you promised me ten marks
538
00:24:36,358 --> 00:24:37,802
for a strudel I made you.
539
00:24:37,826 --> 00:24:38,992
What happened?
540
00:24:39,028 --> 00:24:41,462
Looks like you have a
sudden attack of poverty.
541
00:24:41,497 --> 00:24:43,797
Uh, you want to sit in, Schultz?
542
00:24:45,117 --> 00:24:46,484
Oh, oh, Colonel Hogan,
543
00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:48,564
could you lend me some money?
544
00:24:48,588 --> 00:24:51,321
I'm sorry, Schultz, you said
no gambling in the barracks.
34943
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