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1
00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:04,699
[blows]
2
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:08,085
I just ate a bag of cheese boodles
without using my hands.
3
00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:12,006
Lazy Tuesday, you are
delivering in a big way.
4
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,375
[chuckles] Yeah, it's
nice to finally have a day
5
00:00:14,426 --> 00:00:18,379
where nothing interesting
happens whatsoever.
6
00:00:19,833 --> 00:00:21,358
[muffled roar]
7
00:00:22,017 --> 00:00:23,050
[screaming]
8
00:00:23,101 --> 00:00:26,270
Everyone get down!
Don't let it taste human flesh.
9
00:00:28,357 --> 00:00:30,191
- What is it?
- Can we keep it?
10
00:00:30,225 --> 00:00:32,193
Kill it, kill it!
11
00:00:37,449 --> 00:00:39,233
Patience.
12
00:00:39,235 --> 00:00:43,037
[growling, screeching]
And... gotcha!
13
00:00:47,376 --> 00:00:49,454
Great. Now get it outta here.
14
00:00:49,511 --> 00:00:51,553
Smells like if death could barf.
15
00:00:51,588 --> 00:00:53,214
Grunkle Ford, do you
need any help with that?
16
00:00:53,248 --> 00:00:55,499
I've read all about these
creatures in your journal,
17
00:00:55,550 --> 00:00:59,420
- and I think I know...
- No! I'm sorry, Dipper.
18
00:00:59,422 --> 00:01:03,341
On the dark, weird road I travel,
I'm afraid you cannot follow.
19
00:01:04,426 --> 00:01:08,136
Well, call me for dinner.
[beeps]
20
00:01:10,015 --> 00:01:13,017
Maybe next time then?
Or not.
21
00:01:13,068 --> 00:01:17,739
- Or never.
- Oh, Dipper, don't take it so hard.
22
00:01:17,785 --> 00:01:20,992
No, do take it hard.
Take it hard and serious.
23
00:01:21,026 --> 00:01:23,194
My brother is a
dangerous know-it-all
24
00:01:23,245 --> 00:01:25,112
and the stuff he's
messing with is even worse.
25
00:01:25,163 --> 00:01:27,448
Do yourself a favor and stay
away from him, you hear me?
26
00:01:27,450 --> 00:01:29,450
But Grunkle Stan, all summer long,
27
00:01:29,452 --> 00:01:31,419
I've wanted to know who the
author of the journal was.
28
00:01:31,453 --> 00:01:35,122
Now the guy lives in our basement,
and I can't even talk to him.
29
00:01:35,173 --> 00:01:37,174
Don't worry about
what's on the basement.
30
00:01:37,209 --> 00:01:39,960
- You belong up here with me and Mabel.
- Yeah!
31
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:44,015
Besides, the season finale
of Duck-tective is airing this Friday.
32
00:01:44,049 --> 00:01:46,217
That's all the mystery
you need this week.
33
00:01:46,268 --> 00:01:49,970
Come on, quack with us, Dipper.
Quack, quack, quack.
34
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,389
[chuckles] Yeah.
Quack, quack, quack.
35
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,441
[both quacking]
36
00:01:57,112 --> 00:01:59,146
[quacking continues]
37
00:01:59,197 --> 00:02:03,284
Quack, quack, quack!
Why isn't he quacking?
38
00:02:03,285 --> 00:02:06,599
[title music]
39
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,888
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
40
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:43,093
2x13 - Dungeons, Dungeons,
and More Dungeons
41
00:02:43,304 --> 00:02:44,771
Dear Mom and Dad,
42
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,988
we've been in Gravity
Falls for a few months,
43
00:02:47,022 --> 00:02:48,106
and so much has happened.
44
00:02:48,157 --> 00:02:51,593
Just yesterday, gravity
reversed itself, almost destroyed
45
00:02:51,594 --> 00:02:55,029
the universe, and totally
wrecking the whole town.
46
00:02:55,031 --> 00:02:58,750
Well, they say it was an earthquake,
but you know what I think?
47
00:02:58,784 --> 00:03:01,869
I think I'm gonna have to start serving
pineapple right-side up cake.
48
00:03:01,871 --> 00:03:06,098
[laughs] Am I right?
Am I right?
49
00:03:06,675 --> 00:03:09,043
Let the rebuilding of the town begin.
50
00:03:09,045 --> 00:03:11,596
Wrecking ball, start wrecking things.
51
00:03:11,630 --> 00:03:13,714
[laughs]
52
00:03:13,766 --> 00:03:16,409
But the coolest part of
the summer was
53
00:03:16,410 --> 00:03:19,053
Grunkle Stan's twin brother
came out of this portal thingy.
54
00:03:19,104 --> 00:03:21,722
Now we have two grunkles
for the price of one.
55
00:03:21,724 --> 00:03:24,979
And they are adorable together.
56
00:03:25,014 --> 00:03:27,812
"We love each other so much!"
[kissing sounds]
57
00:03:27,863 --> 00:03:30,815
Mabel, you'll never guess what
I found at the store today.
58
00:03:30,866 --> 00:03:32,733
Dogs. Dogs with hats!
59
00:03:32,785 --> 00:03:36,037
No. It's my favorite
fantasy-talking, level-counting,
60
00:03:36,071 --> 00:03:38,990
statistics and graph-paper
involving game of all time:
61
00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:41,876
Dungeons, Dungeons,
and More Dungeons!
62
00:03:41,910 --> 00:03:45,913
- You wanna play it with me?
- Well, I do like unicorns,
63
00:03:45,915 --> 00:03:47,832
and that hot elf looks promising.
64
00:03:47,883 --> 00:03:49,917
- How do you play?
- The rules are simple.
65
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:52,862
First, you roll a 38-sided
die to determine the level
66
00:03:52,863 --> 00:03:55,756
of each player's statistical
analysis power orb.
67
00:03:55,808 --> 00:03:57,809
These orbs relate
directly to the amount of
68
00:03:57,810 --> 00:03:59,811
power quadrants that your
tem has dominion over,
69
00:03:59,845 --> 00:04:02,814
which is inverse to the anti-quadrants
in your quadrant satchel.
70
00:04:02,848 --> 00:04:06,017
- And then we ride unicorns?
- Yes! [gasps]
71
00:04:06,068 --> 00:04:08,456
And no.
72
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:11,739
First, we make a graph.
73
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:14,775
[groans]
This is like Homework the Game.
74
00:04:14,777 --> 00:04:17,078
Come on, Mabel. I need at
least two people to play.
75
00:04:17,112 --> 00:04:22,510
Oh, wow, would you look at that?
Two people!
76
00:04:22,588 --> 00:04:25,953
Hey, Soos, up for a little
game of D & D & More D?
77
00:04:25,955 --> 00:04:29,790
Sorry, Dipper, I don't go in for
that pen-and-paper kinda stuff.
78
00:04:29,792 --> 00:04:31,092
- I'm more of an FCLORP-er.
- A what?
79
00:04:31,126 --> 00:04:32,960
FCLORP.
80
00:04:32,962 --> 00:04:35,630
Foam & Cardboard Legitimate
Outdoor Role Playing.
81
00:04:35,632 --> 00:04:37,715
It is where a passionate
brethren of craftsmen
82
00:04:37,766 --> 00:04:39,851
bring their dreams to magical reality.
83
00:04:39,885 --> 00:04:44,639
- Let yon priestess go, Elf Mage.
- Never, Paladin Radmaster.
84
00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:46,974
Fireball, fireball, fireball.
85
00:04:48,110 --> 00:04:49,777
I'm a fortress.
86
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,896
Well, thanks anyways, Soos.
87
00:04:51,947 --> 00:04:54,899
Say, is this that game
that's mostly math and writing
88
00:04:54,950 --> 00:04:56,984
and isn't anything like
the picture on the box?
89
00:04:56,986 --> 00:04:59,820
Yes, it is! You wanna
play with me, Grunkle Stan?
90
00:04:59,872 --> 00:05:03,875
Ha! Look, kid, I prefer to
do my dice rolling in Vegas.
91
00:05:03,909 --> 00:05:05,877
Besides, only a game designed by nerds
92
00:05:05,911 --> 00:05:08,746
would have "Charisma"
as a fantasy power.
93
00:05:08,797 --> 00:05:11,966
Check this out:
"When facing yon adversaries,
94
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:17,004
- shield thyself under an elfan buttress."
- Ha ha, say it again.
95
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:19,006
Buttress.
[both laughing]
96
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,592
Hey, laugh all you want.
97
00:05:21,643 --> 00:05:23,678
You guys just aren't smart
enough to understand it.
98
00:05:23,729 --> 00:05:26,814
[chuckles]
Sorry, dude, but it is kinda nerdy.
99
00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:29,016
Well, I'm off to lay
siege to a goblin fortress.
100
00:05:29,018 --> 00:05:30,851
To my grandma's backyard!
101
00:05:30,903 --> 00:05:32,687
[sighs]
102
00:05:33,906 --> 00:05:37,042
Oh, nice, you rolled a 17.
[bleats]
103
00:05:37,043 --> 00:05:39,076
And this is sad.
104
00:05:39,111 --> 00:05:41,779
Maybe I should start
obsessing over Wendy again.
105
00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:42,552
[crunching]
106
00:05:42,553 --> 00:05:46,918
Hey, give it back.
Come on, Gompers. Let go.
107
00:05:46,952 --> 00:05:49,702
Oh, man, my 38-sided die!
108
00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:55,041
[screams]
109
00:06:07,723 --> 00:06:10,775
- Dipper, stop!
- Great-uncle Ford.
110
00:06:10,809 --> 00:06:13,561
What did I say about coming down here?
111
00:06:13,612 --> 00:06:16,731
My work is far too dangerous
for a single living soul
112
00:06:16,733 --> 00:06:20,952
to spend even one second...
Wait. Is that a 38-sided die
113
00:06:20,986 --> 00:06:23,738
from Dungeons, Dungeons,
And More Dungeons?
114
00:06:23,789 --> 00:06:25,990
Yeah.
You know that game?
115
00:06:26,041 --> 00:06:29,660
With pen and paper, shield and sword...
116
00:06:29,711 --> 00:06:32,797
[both] ...our quest
shall be our sweet reward!
117
00:06:32,831 --> 00:06:34,632
[laughing]
118
00:06:34,666 --> 00:06:38,002
This is my favorite game
in the whole multi-verse.
119
00:06:38,053 --> 00:06:39,804
I can't believe they still make it.
120
00:06:39,838 --> 00:06:43,007
They do, and I've been looking all day
for someone to play with me.
121
00:06:43,058 --> 00:06:46,761
My boy, do you know what this means?
122
00:06:46,812 --> 00:06:50,598
We must stop everything
I've been working on at once,
123
00:06:50,649 --> 00:06:52,516
and play!
124
00:06:56,905 --> 00:06:59,364
That's going to leave a mark.
125
00:06:59,477 --> 00:07:02,389
Okay, I think we've got
everything we need to watch
126
00:07:02,471 --> 00:07:04,505
the season finale of
Duck-tective tomorrow.
127
00:07:04,556 --> 00:07:07,200
I even made mouth ramps
so we can pour food
128
00:07:07,201 --> 00:07:09,844
into our mouths without taking
our eyes off the screen.
129
00:07:09,895 --> 00:07:12,513
[chewing loudly]
130
00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:16,434
And I recreated the main character
out of spare taxidermy parts.
131
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,737
Quack, quack, I'm the Duck Detective.
Who stole my bread loaf?
132
00:07:19,771 --> 00:07:22,740
[both laughing]
That is so messed up.
133
00:07:22,774 --> 00:07:26,683
- Dipper would love that.
- Yeah, where is the little squirt anyway?
134
00:07:26,718 --> 00:07:28,684
I haven't seen him all afternoon.
135
00:07:30,532 --> 00:07:31,866
Alright, you enter the chamber.
136
00:07:31,917 --> 00:07:34,669
Princess Unattainabelle beckons you.
137
00:07:34,703 --> 00:07:36,754
But wait, it's a trap!
[gasps]
138
00:07:36,788 --> 00:07:40,842
An illusion cast by
Probabilitor the Annoying.
139
00:07:40,876 --> 00:07:42,543
You know his weakness, right?
140
00:07:42,594 --> 00:07:44,545
[both] Prime statistical
anomalies over 37
141
00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:47,465
but not exceeding 51.
142
00:07:47,516 --> 00:07:52,436
Yes! In your face,
you cardboard wizard.
143
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:55,640
Hmm, the old boy looks a bit
different the did back in my day.
144
00:07:55,691 --> 00:07:57,692
Yeah, they change the
art every few years.
145
00:07:57,726 --> 00:07:59,560
Thankfully, you missed the period
146
00:07:59,611 --> 00:08:02,446
when the creators of the game
tried to make it "cooler."
147
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:05,032
Man, this game is boring.
148
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,453
You dare challenge Probabilitizzle?
149
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,572
♪ Put the cat back
and roll the dice ♪
150
00:08:11,623 --> 00:08:13,596
♪ Don't step to the wizard
'cause the wizard... ♪
151
00:08:13,630 --> 00:08:15,145
_
152
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,661
...updated for the nine double-deuce!
153
00:08:16,712 --> 00:08:19,497
- Available wherever dope games are sold.
- Peace!
154
00:08:19,548 --> 00:08:22,583
[shudders] Must've been
dark times, those '90s.
155
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:26,504
Yeesh. Sounds like a good time to
be stuck between dimensions.
156
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,640
Great-uncle Ford, I've
been meaning to ask you.
157
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,759
Where were you before you
came out of that machine,
158
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,561
and what have you been doing down here?
159
00:08:33,645 --> 00:08:35,513
Are you working on something
behind that curtain?
160
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,850
Dipper, it's best if you and the family
stay away from that subject.
161
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:42,687
Honestly, I'm not sure any of
you could handle the real answer.
162
00:08:42,738 --> 00:08:44,689
- But I could handle it.
- Ah-ah!
163
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:47,775
But I can show you a little something
I brought back with me.
164
00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:55,583
- An infinity-sided die.
- Whoa!
165
00:08:55,617 --> 00:08:58,669
That's so cool... and impossible.
166
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:01,505
These things are outlawed
in 9,000 dimensions.
167
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:04,542
You wanna know why?
Look at those symbols.
168
00:09:04,593 --> 00:09:07,595
Infinite sides means infinite outcomes.
169
00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:11,799
If I rolled it, anything could happen.
Our faces could melt into jelly.
170
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:13,634
The world could turn into an egg.
171
00:09:13,685 --> 00:09:16,387
Or you could just roll an eight.
Who knows?
172
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,724
That's why I have to keep it in
this protective cheap plastic case.
173
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:23,611
Now, back to the game.
You've got Probabilitor on the ropes.
174
00:09:27,816 --> 00:09:29,650
[Dipper] Oh, man.
175
00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:32,787
Then if I have a Dragon here,
and then a plus-three fire...
176
00:09:32,821 --> 00:09:37,408
Dipper, are you gonna go to sleep?
You've been saying dork words for hours.
177
00:09:37,459 --> 00:09:39,827
Sorry, Mabel.
I gotta finish this dungeon.
178
00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:41,796
It's gonna totally stump
Great-uncle Ford tomorrow.
179
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:43,831
I can't wait to see
the look on his face!
180
00:09:43,882 --> 00:09:47,885
You're, uh, spending a lot of
time with old Fordsie lately, huh?
181
00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:51,589
You have no idea.
I knew the author must be cool,
182
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,424
but he's better than I imagined!
183
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,426
And he doesn't make
fun of me all the time,
184
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,813
- the way you and Grunkle Stan do.
- Give him time.
185
00:09:58,847 --> 00:10:01,515
Hi-oh!
[chuckles]
186
00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:03,200
Nah, you got me.
187
00:10:04,569 --> 00:10:07,438
You got me.
188
00:10:09,658 --> 00:10:11,442
Thanks for coming
over to watch tonight's
189
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,444
Duck-tective finale, Grenda.
190
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,747
Of course. I'm so invested in
the life of these characters.
191
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:20,668
Hey, hey, look at you.
Someone's all dressed up.
192
00:10:20,702 --> 00:10:23,287
It's a big night. I think
we all remember where
193
00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:25,873
we were when we learned
Duck-tective was shot.
194
00:10:25,924 --> 00:10:30,461
[clock strikes]
[gasps] Viewing positions, everyone!
195
00:10:30,902 --> 00:10:32,230
[all gasp]
196
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,766
Ahh! Graph paper.
Kill it, kill it!
197
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,719
Dipper, could you maybe
move this to another room?
198
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:41,689
No dice.
We ran out of room in the basement
199
00:10:41,723 --> 00:10:44,775
and we're going for a world record.
Now dice!
200
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,560
Thirty-two!
201
00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:49,780
- Yes! 7,000 points damage.
- You got me.
202
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,782
Ohh! Why with this?
203
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,701
Wanna break a record, Ford?
204
00:10:53,735 --> 00:10:55,870
You already got it for
world's nerdiest old man.
205
00:10:55,904 --> 00:10:58,789
Hey, at least I'm not all
keyed up to watch a kids' show.
206
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:01,826
I'll have you know that
Duck-tective has a big mystery
207
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,829
element, and a lot of humor
that goes over kids' heads.
208
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,666
I don't get a lot of it, but I
like animals in human situation.
209
00:11:08,717 --> 00:11:10,668
Grunkle Stan, it
starts in a few minutes.
210
00:11:12,637 --> 00:11:15,589
Move that and pay the price.
211
00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:17,842
Oh, what, 50 magical dwarf dollars?
212
00:11:17,893 --> 00:11:20,644
Don't mock our fantastical
monetary system!
213
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:22,646
I'll mock all I want.
It's my TV room.
214
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:24,432
It's my house! You...
215
00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:27,485
[sighs] Listen, Stanley,
did it ever occur to you
216
00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:29,854
that if you joined us, you
might actually have fun?
217
00:11:29,905 --> 00:11:31,689
What? Now you listen to me.
218
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,824
As long as I live, I will never...
219
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,576
- Grunkle Stan, wait!
- ever...
220
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:38,262
- Stanley!
- play your smarty-pants nerd game.
221
00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:40,079
No!
222
00:11:46,621 --> 00:11:50,624
Mortals of Dimension
46 Apostrophe Backflash.
223
00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:52,565
Kneel before me and...
224
00:11:54,546 --> 00:11:56,797
Snivel.
225
00:11:56,848 --> 00:12:01,719
I am Probabilitor,
the greatest wizard in all mathology,
226
00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:05,723
- give or take an error of 0.4.
- Uh. Is this normal?
227
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,559
Have you come to send us
on the quest of a lifetime,
228
00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:10,394
because we're the smartest
players you've ever met?
229
00:12:10,445 --> 00:12:13,531
You are the smartest
players I've ever met.
230
00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:16,700
That's why I'm going to eat your
brains, to gain your intelligence.
231
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:17,785
It's what I do.
232
00:12:17,819 --> 00:12:20,571
- It's his thing.
- What?!
233
00:12:20,622 --> 00:12:22,740
Seize them!
234
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,626
Your math is no match
for my gun, you idiot.
235
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:28,518
Math ray!
236
00:12:29,314 --> 00:12:32,661
I'm not here to play games.
237
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:36,812
Now to the forest for the ultimate game.
238
00:12:41,091 --> 00:12:44,249
So the room's free now.
239
00:12:44,359 --> 00:12:47,228
Who wants to watch Duck-tective?
[squeaks]
240
00:12:47,327 --> 00:12:50,713
Nobody?
More couch for Grenda.
241
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:53,434
Oh, no.
That crazy wizard is gonna eat
242
00:12:53,501 --> 00:12:57,121
our brother's brain.
We have to stop him!
243
00:12:57,172 --> 00:12:59,924
Maybe let him get a couple of
bites in Ford's brain first.
244
00:12:59,958 --> 00:13:01,959
Even things out, smartness-wise.
245
00:13:01,961 --> 00:13:04,295
- Grunkle Stan!
- All right, all right.
246
00:13:04,297 --> 00:13:08,098
I guess if we have no other choice,
we'll go on a... [sighs]
247
00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:09,967
epic wizard quest.
248
00:13:10,018 --> 00:13:11,477
[cheering]
249
00:13:11,478 --> 00:13:13,743
Everyone grab a weapon.
250
00:13:16,758 --> 00:13:18,025
Nice.
251
00:13:20,312 --> 00:13:23,948
We're coming for you, Dipper.
And Great-uncle Ford.
252
00:13:23,982 --> 00:13:27,660
And possibly that hot elf,
if he's got anything to do with this.
253
00:13:31,189 --> 00:13:32,990
[laughing]
254
00:13:34,075 --> 00:13:38,329
With each brain I eat,
I shall increase my enchant-elligence.
255
00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:42,216
If my hands were free,
I'd break every part of your face.
256
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:46,971
The time has come.
Hot elf, ready the brain-cooking pot.
257
00:13:47,005 --> 00:13:50,036
Uh, yes, Probabilitor.
258
00:14:00,522 --> 00:14:02,473
[slap]
We must be getting close.
259
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,391
These fairy bites are
getting more frequent.
260
00:14:04,442 --> 00:14:07,060
Hey, look, listen.
261
00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:11,281
Halt!
You interlopers are trespassing
262
00:14:11,316 --> 00:14:14,067
on the ancient forest
of Probabilitor the Wizard.
263
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:15,319
If ye wish to pass,
264
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:19,123
first ye must complete
seven unworldly quests,
265
00:14:19,157 --> 00:14:22,516
- each more difficult than the last...
- No!
266
00:14:23,378 --> 00:14:25,496
Is he... dead?
267
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,332
He's magic, sweetie.
I'm sure he's fine.
268
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:32,877
There's no cops in the forest.
We take this to our graves.
269
00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:34,505
[laughing]
270
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,057
- What do we do, what do we do?
- Stop thinking, Dipper.
271
00:14:37,091 --> 00:14:40,310
The more wrinkled your brain gets,
the more he'll wanna eat it.
272
00:14:40,345 --> 00:14:42,513
And now, a little math problem.
273
00:14:42,564 --> 00:14:45,516
When I subtract your
brain from your skull,
274
00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:49,520
add salt and divide your family,
what's the remainder?
275
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,488
[Mabel] Your butt!
276
00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:55,159
What? My butt isn't part
of this particular equation.
277
00:14:55,193 --> 00:14:56,443
[all roaring]
278
00:14:56,494 --> 00:14:59,869
Drat! How did you make
it past my one guard?!
279
00:14:59,904 --> 00:15:04,418
Very well. There's only one
way your family can save you.
280
00:15:04,452 --> 00:15:07,287
You must defeat me
281
00:15:07,338 --> 00:15:10,207
in Dungeons, Dungeons,
And More Dungeons,
282
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:12,342
[echoing] real life edition!
283
00:15:13,378 --> 00:15:16,046
[maniacal laughter]
284
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:21,051
- What? Oh, come on.
- I choose my characters versus...
285
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:24,354
[gasping]
yours.
286
00:15:24,389 --> 00:15:28,225
Oh, my ears.
They're so pointy.
287
00:15:28,276 --> 00:15:31,253
There better be something
protective under this tunic.
288
00:15:31,254 --> 00:15:34,364
- Oh, no, there isn't.
- Seriously?
289
00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:36,366
Can't we just, like,
arm wrestle or something?
290
00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:38,402
Come on, this game is a lot of fun.
291
00:15:38,453 --> 00:15:41,071
I had my mom pack me a lunch.
292
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:43,373
Ew, apple slices?
I'll eat you last.
293
00:15:43,408 --> 00:15:46,736
Just make with the rules, ugly.
294
00:15:47,492 --> 00:15:49,246
The game is a battle royale.
295
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:52,466
We help our characters by casting spells
determined by rolls of the dice.
296
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,552
If you win, I go back
to my own dimension.
297
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:59,339
But if I win, I eat their brains.
298
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:01,058
Hey, I'm not sure this is such a good...
299
00:16:01,092 --> 00:16:02,426
- Deal!
- Oh, boy.
300
00:16:02,477 --> 00:16:05,429
Let the game begin!
301
00:16:09,150 --> 00:16:11,692
Attack!
[war cry]
302
00:16:15,073 --> 00:16:16,406
What do we do?
What are our moves?
303
00:16:16,441 --> 00:16:18,870
There are no moves.
You make them up.
304
00:16:18,905 --> 00:16:22,195
- What? Really?
- Yes. I tried to tell you.
305
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:26,033
This game involves math, but
also risk and imagination.
306
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:28,168
- Risk!
- Imagination?!
307
00:16:28,202 --> 00:16:31,780
Grunkle Stan, make something up.
It's just like lying.
308
00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:34,124
I cast... uh...
309
00:16:34,175 --> 00:16:35,125
[groans]
310
00:16:35,176 --> 00:16:37,975
shield of shielding.
311
00:16:40,431 --> 00:16:45,102
- Ha! We're doin' it.
- Shield of shielding reversal spell.
312
00:16:48,106 --> 00:16:50,190
I cast giggle time bouncy boots.
313
00:16:51,658 --> 00:16:53,646
[laughing]
314
00:16:54,112 --> 00:16:56,063
Fat flame-y sword.
315
00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:58,231
Super-hot flame-y sword!
316
00:17:02,487 --> 00:17:04,204
[gasps]
No!
317
00:17:04,238 --> 00:17:06,456
Drat you. You'll never outrun my...
318
00:17:06,491 --> 00:17:12,269
Ogre-nado.
It is what it sounds like!
319
00:17:15,166 --> 00:17:19,625
I cast Centaur-taur!
Yah!
320
00:17:22,111 --> 00:17:24,141
[neighs]
321
00:17:24,142 --> 00:17:27,227
Mabel, I am so confused
and so proud right now.
322
00:17:31,516 --> 00:17:33,400
[cheering]
323
00:17:40,645 --> 00:17:43,709
- Yes!
- Ha ha! Yes!
324
00:17:49,719 --> 00:17:53,755
Ha ha ha, yes!
I was saving the worst for last.
325
00:17:53,757 --> 00:17:57,309
- Oh, no.
- The Impossi-beast.
326
00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:58,760
Hey, I thought they
banned this character.
327
00:17:58,762 --> 00:18:01,396
Think again.
I'm playing the controversial
328
00:18:01,431 --> 00:18:04,424
1991-1992 edition.
329
00:18:05,435 --> 00:18:08,520
- I'll think of some weapons.
- You don't understand.
330
00:18:08,571 --> 00:18:10,272
This is the most powerful
monster in the game.
331
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,691
He can only be defeated
by rolling a perfect 38.
332
00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:14,326
But the odds of that are...
333
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,695
Hey, long odds are what you want
334
00:18:16,746 --> 00:18:18,613
when you're a world-class gambler.
335
00:18:18,615 --> 00:18:21,333
All right, Stan, you can do this.
336
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:24,619
Papa needs a new pair of...
twins!
337
00:18:32,628 --> 00:18:36,348
- No!!
- Sorry, nerd wizard.
338
00:18:36,432 --> 00:18:39,634
All of your smarts are
no match for dumb luck.
339
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:42,155
I cast Death Muffins!
340
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,479
[both] Yes!
341
00:18:52,145 --> 00:18:53,312
[laughs]
342
00:18:53,314 --> 00:18:57,199
The game is, like, over.
Excelsi-whatever.
343
00:18:57,233 --> 00:19:00,152
No!
I'm returning to my own realm.
344
00:19:00,154 --> 00:19:05,959
I'm turning into pure math.
What are the odds?!
345
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:10,329
Grunkle Stan, that was amazing.
346
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,164
How did you know that you would win?
347
00:19:12,215 --> 00:19:14,333
Hey, a gambler never
reveals his secrets.
348
00:19:16,386 --> 00:19:20,088
Man, that was fun for ages eight to 80.
349
00:19:20,139 --> 00:19:22,474
Or a million or however
old you guys are.
350
00:19:22,508 --> 00:19:26,261
You know, I'm sorry for
making fun of your game, kiddo.
351
00:19:26,312 --> 00:19:28,914
Sure, it might be too
nerdy for me, but it's just
352
00:19:28,915 --> 00:19:31,516
the right amount of nerdy
for you and my brother.
353
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:35,103
And if you two wanna hang out
sometimes, I won't get in your way.
354
00:19:35,154 --> 00:19:38,357
Actually, after all that,
I could use a little mindless fun.
355
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:42,110
Guys, we can watch the second
showing of Duck-tective!
356
00:19:42,161 --> 00:19:43,762
It's not too late.
[squeaks]
357
00:19:47,776 --> 00:19:50,577
_
358
00:19:50,613 --> 00:19:53,205
I just don't understand who shot you.
359
00:19:53,256 --> 00:19:55,457
The only person clever
enough to defeat Duck-tective
360
00:19:55,508 --> 00:19:58,595
is... [gasps]
Duck-tective. Ugh.
361
00:20:01,378 --> 00:20:03,543
_
362
00:20:03,668 --> 00:20:05,730
_
363
00:20:07,267 --> 00:20:09,968
He had a twin brother all along?
364
00:20:10,019 --> 00:20:12,137
That's the big twist
we were waiting for?
365
00:20:12,188 --> 00:20:15,814
- What a rip-off!
- I predicted that, like, a year ago.
366
00:20:20,063 --> 00:20:23,231
- This will be here if you ever need it.
- Really?
367
00:20:23,266 --> 00:20:25,984
Even though I got us into
the whole game-playing mess?
368
00:20:26,035 --> 00:20:28,036
Ah, we both got carried away.
369
00:20:28,071 --> 00:20:31,373
I guess we'd both gone for
a while without a friend.
370
00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:34,076
Dipper, can I tell you something?
371
00:20:35,245 --> 00:20:38,213
You asked me earlier
what I was working on.
372
00:20:38,248 --> 00:20:39,998
Well...
373
00:20:40,049 --> 00:20:42,167
I dismantled the portal.
374
00:20:42,252 --> 00:20:44,303
An inter-dimensional
gateway is too dangerous
375
00:20:44,337 --> 00:20:46,088
for the world it feeds into.
376
00:20:46,139 --> 00:20:49,057
That's why I was mad
at Stan for using it.
377
00:20:49,092 --> 00:20:50,976
He saved me, but as I feared,
378
00:20:51,010 --> 00:20:54,096
the instability of the
machine created this.
379
00:20:54,147 --> 00:20:56,496
An inter-dimensional rift.
380
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,561
I've contained it for now,
but it's incredibly dangerous.
381
00:20:59,596 --> 00:21:01,527
Dipper, I don't want you
to tell anyone about this.
382
00:21:01,529 --> 00:21:03,496
Not Stan, not even your sister.
383
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:06,582
- Do you understand?
- Oh, of course.
384
00:21:06,617 --> 00:21:09,669
In my time, I've made
many powerful enemies.
385
00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:12,538
But I trust you with this secret.
386
00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:17,343
Now get yourself to bed.
I have much research to do.
387
00:21:17,378 --> 00:21:20,463
- Good night, Great-uncle Ford.
- Good night, Dipper.
388
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,192
Guys, do you ever think
maybe we're doin' this
389
00:21:36,227 --> 00:21:38,228
'cause our lives aren't special enough?
390
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,363
That we use fantasy
as an escape to avoid
391
00:21:40,397 --> 00:21:42,065
the self-improvement we all need?
392
00:21:42,116 --> 00:21:45,309
That maybe we should just go out
and grow with people?
393
00:21:45,962 --> 00:21:51,648
- Fortresses can't speak, darling.
- I'm a fortress. [screams]
394
00:21:52,326 --> 00:21:54,294
Does anyone wanna rescue him?
395
00:21:54,328 --> 00:21:56,073
- Ah, I'm tired.
- I'm fine. I'm good.
396
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:58,864
- Well, too bad for him.
- Long day...
397
00:21:59,065 --> 00:22:02,365
sync & correction by f1nc0
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