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1
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:05,454
Wait up.
Yeah, you should keep up.
2
00:00:05,489 --> 00:00:06,913
I can keep up.
3
00:00:08,566 --> 00:00:10,334
Whoa!
4
00:00:10,369 --> 00:00:11,651
Neato!
5
00:00:11,686 --> 00:00:15,130
Mysterious,
boarded-up cave.
6
00:00:15,165 --> 00:00:16,723
It might be filled with
lost prehistoric life forms.
7
00:00:16,758 --> 00:00:19,042
Or Mesoamerican gold.
8
00:00:19,077 --> 00:00:20,427
Uh, ladies first.
9
00:00:20,462 --> 00:00:22,387
[both giggling]
10
00:00:26,377 --> 00:00:28,885
Ha ha! Good thing you've
got your smarts, Poindexter.
11
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,779
I've got the other thing.
12
00:00:30,814 --> 00:00:32,773
What is it called?
Oh, right, punching.
13
00:00:34,759 --> 00:00:37,427
Cool. Splinters.
14
00:00:37,462 --> 00:00:39,913
Whoa! It's
so creepy in here.
15
00:00:39,948 --> 00:00:41,482
Hey, don't worry, bro.
16
00:00:41,517 --> 00:00:44,392
Wherever we go,
we go together.
17
00:00:44,428 --> 00:00:45,869
Don't forget to leave
our names so they know
who owns the place.
18
00:00:49,432 --> 00:00:51,875
Pines, Pines,
Pines, Pines.
19
00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:38,355
Finally, after all
these long years of waiting,
20
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,548
you're actually here.
21
00:01:40,784 --> 00:01:44,219
Brother!
22
00:01:44,255 --> 00:01:47,089
Ow! What the heck
was that for?
23
00:01:47,124 --> 00:01:49,316
This was an insanely
risky move,
24
00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:51,159
restarting the portal.
25
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,694
Didn't you read
my warnings?
26
00:01:52,729 --> 00:01:54,655
Warnings, schmarnings.
27
00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:56,915
How's about maybe
a thanks for saving you
28
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:57,966
from what appears to be,
I don't know,
29
00:01:58,001 --> 00:02:01,377
some kinda sci-fi
sideburn dimension.
30
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,154
Thank you? You really think
I'm gonna thank you
31
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:04,798
after what you did
30 years ago?
32
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,374
What I did?
33
00:02:06,409 --> 00:02:07,534
Why, you ungrateful...
34
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,614
Don't expect me
to go easy on you
35
00:02:12,649 --> 00:02:15,642
just because
you're family.
36
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,793
Hey, hi.
Mabel here.
37
00:02:16,828 --> 00:02:18,670
Quick question.
38
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:19,838
What the heck
is going on here?
39
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:24,092
Stan, you didn't tell me
there were children down here.
40
00:02:24,127 --> 00:02:26,469
And some sort of
large, hairless gopher.
41
00:02:26,505 --> 00:02:28,422
Ha ha, I get that a lot.
42
00:02:28,457 --> 00:02:30,039
They're your family,
Poindexter.
43
00:02:30,075 --> 00:02:32,033
Shermy's grandkids.
44
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:35,203
I have a niece,
and a nephew?
45
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:36,955
Greetings. Do kids
still say greetings?
46
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,258
I haven't been in
this dimension for
a really long time.
47
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,619
Whoa, six-fingered
handshake.
48
00:02:42,654 --> 00:02:44,763
It's a full finger
friendlier than normal.
49
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,873
Ha ha, I like this kid.
She's weird.
50
00:02:46,908 --> 00:02:49,267
I... I can't believe it.
51
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:51,452
You're the author
of the journals.
52
00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:53,530
You've read
my journals?
53
00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:55,207
I haven't just read them.
54
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,325
I've lived them.
55
00:02:57,361 --> 00:02:59,535
I've been waiting
for so long to meet you.
56
00:02:59,571 --> 00:03:00,737
I don't know what to say.
I have so many questions.
57
00:03:00,773 --> 00:03:03,348
[hyperventilating]
58
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:04,983
I think I'm gonna
throw up.
59
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,726
No, no, false alarm.
60
00:03:06,761 --> 00:03:09,246
Just gotta ride it out.
61
00:03:09,281 --> 00:03:11,055
Listen, there'll be time
for introductions later.
62
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,983
But first, tell me, Stan.
63
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,867
Are there any
security breaches?
64
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,653
Does anyone else
know about this portal?
65
00:03:16,689 --> 00:03:19,080
No. Just us.
66
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,123
Also, maybe the entire
U.S. government.
67
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,358
The what?!
68
00:03:22,393 --> 00:03:24,261
Fan out. We're not going anywhere
69
00:03:24,296 --> 00:03:26,996
till we find Stan Pines and those kids.
70
00:03:27,031 --> 00:03:29,224
Okay. It's all right.
71
00:03:29,259 --> 00:03:31,317
We've got a while before
they find this room.
72
00:03:31,353 --> 00:03:34,012
We just need to lay low
and think of a plan.
73
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:36,114
It looks like we're
stuck down here for a while.
74
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,984
Who wants to tell us their
entire mysterious backstory?
75
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:42,653
Yes, I have some questions
about all this myself, Stanley.
76
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,623
Stanley?
77
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,474
But your name
is Stanford.
78
00:03:46,509 --> 00:03:48,393
Wait, you took my name?
79
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,921
What have you been
doing all these years,
you knucklehead?
80
00:03:50,956 --> 00:03:52,680
Yeah, Grunkle Stan,
no more lies.
81
00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:54,216
You owe us some answers.
82
00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:55,609
What's the deal
with this portal?
83
00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:57,460
Why did you keep
this a secret?
84
00:03:57,495 --> 00:03:59,588
And what happened
between you and your brother?
85
00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:02,123
I'm hoping all this aligns
exactly with my fan-fic, Stan.
86
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,258
If not, I will be
very disappointed.
87
00:04:04,294 --> 00:04:06,286
Okay. Okay, okay.
88
00:04:06,321 --> 00:04:07,913
I know I have
a lot of explaining to do.
89
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,981
It all started
a lifetime ago.
90
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,726
1960-something.
91
00:04:12,761 --> 00:04:15,670
Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey.
92
00:04:15,706 --> 00:04:18,014
I lived with my ma and pa in the Lead Paint district
93
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:18,998
above the family pawn shop.
94
00:04:19,034 --> 00:04:21,518
Dad was a strict man.
95
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:22,902
Tough as a cinder block, and not easily impressed.
96
00:04:22,938 --> 00:04:25,038
I'm not impressed.
97
00:04:25,073 --> 00:04:27,039
Mom was a pathological liar,
98
00:04:27,075 --> 00:04:28,482
which served her well as a phone psychic.
99
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,477
That'll be 99 cents
an hour.
100
00:04:30,512 --> 00:04:32,461
No, you're overpriced.
101
00:04:32,497 --> 00:04:34,498
Yeah, I predicted
you were gonna hang up.
102
00:04:34,533 --> 00:04:36,525
And then, there was my nerdy twin brother Stanford.
103
00:04:36,601 --> 00:04:39,027
As if his abnormally high IQ wasn't enough,
104
00:04:39,062 --> 00:04:40,378
he also had a rare birth defect--
105
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:42,339
six fingers on each hand,
106
00:04:42,374 --> 00:04:43,998
which might've explained his obsession
107
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:47,243
with sci-fi mystery weirdness.
108
00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,188
As for me, I had what Mom liked to call personality.
109
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:53,474
But as different as we were,
110
00:04:53,509 --> 00:04:55,894
we were the perfect team,
111
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,112
and every day, we'd wander the beach,
112
00:04:57,147 --> 00:04:58,530
looking for adventure.
113
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,123
Whoa!
114
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,288
A shipwrecked sailboat.
115
00:05:06,323 --> 00:05:08,047
Possibly haunted by
pirate ghosts.
116
00:05:08,082 --> 00:05:10,350
This is the greatest
thing I've ever seen.
117
00:05:10,427 --> 00:05:12,169
And I once saw
a dead rat floating
in a bucket.
118
00:05:12,204 --> 00:05:15,388
[laughing]
Ew. What's wrong with you?
119
00:05:15,423 --> 00:05:17,215
Huh. You know what
this thing's missing?
120
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,575
Flags.
121
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,037
[both] Kings of New Jersey,
kings of New Jersey,
122
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,396
kings of New Jersey!
123
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,927
I dub thee
the Stan O' War.
124
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,830
Ow! What the heck?
125
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,906
Well, well, if it ain't
the loser twins.
126
00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:36,468
Nice boat. You get it
at the dump?
127
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,594
[giggles]
128
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,256
You would know,
Crampelter. Get lost!
129
00:05:41,291 --> 00:05:42,941
Listen, dorks,
and listen good.
130
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,293
You're
a six-fingered freak,
131
00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:47,770
and you're just
a dumber, sweatier
version of him.
132
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,639
And you're lucky
you have each other,
133
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,232
because neither of you
will ever make any friends.
134
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,493
[laughing]
135
00:05:53,529 --> 00:05:55,095
Dorks
and losers.
136
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,874
Hey, don't let
those idiots get to you.
137
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:01,960
But I am a freak.
138
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,987
I just wonder if there's
anywhere in the world
139
00:06:04,022 --> 00:06:05,871
where weirdos like me
fit in.
140
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,591
Hey, chin up, buddy.
Look.
141
00:06:08,626 --> 00:06:10,543
One of these days,
you and me are gonna
142
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,395
sail away from
this dumb town.
143
00:06:12,431 --> 00:06:14,497
We'll hunt for treasure,
get all the girls,
144
00:06:14,532 --> 00:06:17,475
and be an unstoppable
team of adventurers.
145
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,027
You really mean it?
146
00:06:19,062 --> 00:06:20,453
High six?
High six.
147
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,432
Those were the good times.
148
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,842
Those bullies may have been right about us
149
00:06:26,878 --> 00:06:28,611
not making many friends, but when push comes to shove,
150
00:06:28,646 --> 00:06:29,629
you only really need one.
151
00:06:36,013 --> 00:06:38,054
Ford's brain seemed to get more impressive every year.
152
00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:39,664
So did our pet project.
153
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:43,585
Sure, I got in more than my fair share of trouble,
154
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,395
but when your brother's the smartest kid in school,
155
00:06:45,430 --> 00:06:46,312
you've always got a leg up on the competition.
156
00:06:49,468 --> 00:06:53,061
The future was looking bright for both of us,
157
00:06:53,096 --> 00:06:56,731
till one day.
158
00:06:56,766 --> 00:06:58,391
[ Woman over P.A.] Pines twins to the principal's office.
159
00:06:58,426 --> 00:07:00,193
Pines twins to the principal's office.
160
00:07:00,228 --> 00:07:01,912
Ah, great.
What is it this time?
161
00:07:01,947 --> 00:07:03,621
Not you. Him.
162
00:07:11,406 --> 00:07:13,081
Now, Mr. Pines, I'd like to
speak with you
163
00:07:13,116 --> 00:07:14,708
very frankly,
if I may.
164
00:07:14,743 --> 00:07:17,034
Very frankly
is the only way I speak.
165
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,578
You have two sons.
166
00:07:18,613 --> 00:07:21,589
One of them
is incredibly gifted.
167
00:07:21,624 --> 00:07:22,699
The other one is standing
outside this room,
and his name's Stanley.
168
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,226
What are you saying?
169
00:07:25,261 --> 00:07:28,004
I'm saying your son
Stanford is a genius!
170
00:07:28,039 --> 00:07:29,881
All of his teachers
are going bananas
171
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,799
over his science fair
experiment.
172
00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:33,284
You ever heard of
West Coast Tech?
173
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:35,294
Best college
in the country.
174
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,304
Their graduates turn
science fiction
175
00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:38,206
into science fact.
176
00:07:38,241 --> 00:07:40,233
The admissions team
is visiting tomorrow
177
00:07:40,268 --> 00:07:42,552
to check out
Stanford's experiment.
178
00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:43,912
Your son may be
a future millionaire, Mr. Pines.
179
00:07:43,947 --> 00:07:46,506
I'm impressed.
180
00:07:46,541 --> 00:07:49,067
What about our little
free spirit Stanley?
181
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,768
That clown?
At this rate,
182
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,137
he'll be lucky
to graduate high school.
183
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:55,006
Look, there's a saltwater
taffy store on the dock,
184
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,742
and somebody's gotta
get paid to scrape
the barnacles off of it.
185
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:02,071
Stanford's going places, but
hey, look on the bright side.
186
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,916
At least you'll have one son
here in New Jersey forever.
187
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,793
Joke's on them
if they think
188
00:08:06,828 --> 00:08:08,544
you wanna go to
some stuffy college
189
00:08:08,579 --> 00:08:10,262
on the other side
of the country.
190
00:08:10,298 --> 00:08:12,448
Once we get
the Stan O' War complete,
191
00:08:12,483 --> 00:08:14,058
it's gonna be
beaches, babes,
192
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,043
and international
treasure hunting for us.
193
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:19,222
Look, Stan,
I can't pass up
a chance like this.
194
00:08:19,257 --> 00:08:21,007
This school has
cutting-edge programs
195
00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,017
and multi-dimensional
paradigm theory.
196
00:08:23,052 --> 00:08:25,837
Be-boop. I am a nerd robot.
197
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,222
That's you.
That's what you sound like.
198
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:30,324
[chuckles]
Ah, well,
199
00:08:30,359 --> 00:08:33,244
if the college board
isn't impressed with
my experiment tomorrow,
200
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,787
then okay, I'll do
the treasure hunting thing.
201
00:08:34,822 --> 00:08:36,473
And if they are?
202
00:08:36,508 --> 00:08:38,841
Well, then I guess
you better come visit me
203
00:08:38,877 --> 00:08:40,468
on the other side
of the country.
204
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,275
Without Ford, I was just half of a dynamic duo.
205
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,627
I couldn't make it out there without him.
206
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,270
And now, thanks to that dumb college,
207
00:08:51,305 --> 00:08:53,022
I was gonna lose my brother forever.
208
00:08:57,888 --> 00:09:00,346
This is all your fault,
you dumb machine!
209
00:09:00,381 --> 00:09:01,823
Oh, no. No, no, no.
What did I do?
210
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,028
There. All right.
211
00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:08,121
Good as new.
Probably.
212
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,586
All right, kid,
show us what you got.
213
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,897
Okay. Well,
what would you say
214
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:19,682
if I told you
the future of technology
215
00:09:19,717 --> 00:09:21,809
was beneath this sheet?
216
00:09:21,844 --> 00:09:23,085
I'd say we wasted
a car trip.
217
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,705
What?
218
00:09:25,740 --> 00:09:28,258
But it was stable yesterday.
219
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:30,451
A fuse must've blown
or something.
220
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,194
Kid, a perpetual motion
machine has one job--
221
00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:34,638
to not stop.
222
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,708
I don't think you're
West Coast Tech material.
223
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,300
No, wait. Don't go!
224
00:09:38,336 --> 00:09:39,694
I worked so hard.
225
00:09:45,468 --> 00:09:47,451
One paddle paddle paddle,
two paddle paddle.
226
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,337
Man, that Jackie O.
What a fox.
227
00:09:49,372 --> 00:09:51,064
Hey, what's the word,
sixer?
228
00:09:51,099 --> 00:09:52,681
Can you explain
what this was doing
229
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,567
next to my broken
project?
230
00:09:54,602 --> 00:09:57,170
Okay. I might've
accidentally been...
231
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:59,464
horsing around.
232
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,349
This was no accident, Stan.
You did this.
233
00:10:01,384 --> 00:10:03,075
You did this because
you couldn't handle me
234
00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:04,268
going to college
on my own.
235
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,171
Look, it was a mistake.
236
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,480
Although, if you
think about it,
237
00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,232
maybe there's
a silver lining.
238
00:10:09,267 --> 00:10:11,083
Huh? Treasure hunting?
239
00:10:11,119 --> 00:10:13,144
Are you kidding me?
240
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,779
Why would I wanna do
anything with the person
241
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:17,198
who sabotaged
my entire future?
242
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:20,101
You did what,
you knucklehead?
243
00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:23,738
Stanley, what's
going on in here?
244
00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:25,281
Wait, no.
I can explain.
It was a mistake.
245
00:10:25,316 --> 00:10:26,658
You ignoramus.
246
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:29,811
Your brother was gonna be
our ticket outta this dump.
247
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,921
All you ever do
is lie and cheat,
248
00:10:31,956 --> 00:10:34,181
and ride on
your brother's coattails.
249
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:36,059
Well, this time,
you cost our family
250
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,918
potential millions.
251
00:10:37,954 --> 00:10:40,020
And until you
make us a fortune,
252
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,739
you're not welcome
in this household.
253
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:44,092
What?! Stanford, tell him
he's being crazy.
254
00:10:48,531 --> 00:10:50,156
Stanford? Don't
leave me hanging.
255
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,683
High six?
256
00:10:54,471 --> 00:10:57,246
Fine! I can make it
on my own.
257
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,348
I don't need you,
I don't need anyone.
258
00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:00,541
I'll make millions,
and you'll rue the day
259
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:03,611
you turned
your back on me.
260
00:11:03,646 --> 00:11:05,070
Thanks to one dumb mistake, I had no brother,
261
00:11:05,106 --> 00:11:07,648
no home, no nothing.
262
00:11:07,684 --> 00:11:08,741
But I had a plan to fix everything.
263
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:15,348
Oh, this story's
so sad.
264
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,667
I know what you two
little broken teacups need.
265
00:11:17,702 --> 00:11:19,635
To hug it out.
266
00:11:19,671 --> 00:11:21,996
Hug it out.
267
00:11:22,031 --> 00:11:24,406
Hug train
comin' in the station.
268
00:11:24,442 --> 00:11:27,602
Hugapalooza 2000!
269
00:11:27,637 --> 00:11:29,395
Kid, will you
knock that off?
270
00:11:29,430 --> 00:11:31,122
I'm trying to tell
my life story here.
271
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:34,809
I had decided I wasn't gonna show my face at home
272
00:11:34,844 --> 00:11:36,986
till I proved I could make something of myself.
273
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,179
Unfortunately, the treasure hunting business
274
00:11:38,214 --> 00:11:40,857
was slow going.
275
00:11:40,892 --> 00:11:43,718
Apparently, gold is some kind of rare metal.
276
00:11:43,753 --> 00:11:45,619
Luckily, I struck another kind of gold.
277
00:11:45,655 --> 00:11:48,097
In sales.
278
00:11:48,132 --> 00:11:49,415
Hi there.
I'm Stan Pines
279
00:11:49,450 --> 00:11:51,517
of Stanco Enterprises.
280
00:11:51,552 --> 00:11:54,712
Are you sick of this
always happening to you?
281
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:57,489
Then you need
the chamois of the future.
282
00:11:57,525 --> 00:12:00,009
Made with the same material
astronauts use
283
00:12:00,044 --> 00:12:02,220
to clean up cranberry
stains on the moon.
284
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,445
That's the Sham Total.
285
00:12:03,481 --> 00:12:06,565
It's a total sham.
286
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,393
I had made my mark, all right.
287
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:09,227
Unfortunately, so did the chamois.
288
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:12,429
Apparently, the cheap dye I used to color them
289
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,640
only made stains worse.
290
00:12:14,675 --> 00:12:16,626
Customers weren't crazy about that.
291
00:12:16,661 --> 00:12:17,969
Luckily, they were chasing me
292
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,187
with Stanco-brand pitchforks.
293
00:12:20,631 --> 00:12:22,998
Suckers!
294
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,875
I was officially banned from New Jersey.
295
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,344
But with a quick name change,
296
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,412
Steve Pinington was ready to take on Pennsylvania.
297
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:30,749
Hi. I'm Steve Pinington.
298
00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:32,741
Are you sick of bandages
that are hard to remove?
299
00:12:32,777 --> 00:12:34,560
Then what you need is
the Rip Off.
300
00:12:34,595 --> 00:12:36,562
The Rip Off won't
give you rashes.
301
00:12:36,597 --> 00:12:38,506
I repeat, it won't
give you rashes.
302
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:40,208
It gave you rashes.
303
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,504
I traveled the whole country,
304
00:12:45,540 --> 00:12:47,198
sometimes outside of it,
305
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,425
always one step ahead of the law,
306
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:52,887
looking for something that would be my big break.
307
00:12:52,922 --> 00:12:55,989
Whoa. So that explains
all the fake ID's.
308
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,933
But wait,
what about you?
309
00:12:57,968 --> 00:12:59,401
Did you end up going
to your dream school?
310
00:12:59,437 --> 00:13:00,987
Not exactly.
311
00:13:01,022 --> 00:13:02,646
All right, I know
Backupsmore
312
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,673
wasn't anyone's
first choice,
313
00:13:04,708 --> 00:13:06,400
but what we lack in prestige
314
00:13:06,435 --> 00:13:09,236
we make up for in
mostly bug-free dorms.
315
00:13:09,272 --> 00:13:10,655
I'm sure your families
are proud.
316
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:14,116
More or less.
317
00:13:14,151 --> 00:13:16,594
In a place like that, I had to work twice as hard.
318
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,238
Luckily, that's what I do best.
319
00:13:18,273 --> 00:13:20,273
I went from undergrad to PhD
320
00:13:20,308 --> 00:13:22,175
three years ahead of schedule,
321
00:13:22,252 --> 00:13:23,635
wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked,
322
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,311
and was awarded an enormous grant
323
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:26,679
for my own scientific research.
324
00:13:26,714 --> 00:13:28,647
But what to study?
325
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,057
My whole life, I'd been teased
326
00:13:30,092 --> 00:13:32,101
for my six fingers.
327
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,704
But that got me thinking about anomalies.
328
00:13:34,739 --> 00:13:37,039
Things that were odd, unusual,
329
00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:38,841
statistically improbable.
330
00:13:38,877 --> 00:13:41,127
And according to my investigations,
331
00:13:41,162 --> 00:13:43,738
there was one place with a higher concentration
332
00:13:43,773 --> 00:13:46,148
of these things than anywhere else.
333
00:13:46,183 --> 00:13:48,717
A small lumber town in Roadkill County, Oregon.
334
00:13:48,753 --> 00:13:50,027
Gravity Falls.
335
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,391
Meanwhile, your old Uncle Stan was doing great.
336
00:13:55,427 --> 00:13:57,602
I'd come up with
337
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,262
a sophisticated new business strategy.
338
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:02,699
Come on. Owl, owl...
339
00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:04,125
Football player
with an omelet?!
340
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,793
Gah!
341
00:14:08,072 --> 00:14:09,647
I was in great shape, living on my own,
342
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,884
and the best part was, I didn't need help from nobody.
343
00:14:15,129 --> 00:14:19,531
[line ringing]
344
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,391
Hello. This is Stanford Pines.
345
00:14:23,637 --> 00:14:26,914
I was heading out on my own, as well.
346
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:29,491
I set to work using my grant money
347
00:14:29,527 --> 00:14:32,103
to investigate the strange properties of this town.
348
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,112
But what would I find here?
349
00:14:37,385 --> 00:14:41,028
Bingo. I began to investigate at once.
350
00:14:41,064 --> 00:14:42,955
I knew I'd have to record my findings.
351
00:14:49,614 --> 00:14:51,347
I began to keep a journal.
352
00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:54,259
[shrieking]
353
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,760
The journals!
354
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,195
Sorry, sorry.
355
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,581
[clearing throat]
Got excited there
356
00:15:00,616 --> 00:15:02,324
about the journals.
Keep talking.
357
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,493
I began to keep
a journal.
358
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:06,411
[shrieking]
359
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,214
I'm going
to ignore that.
360
00:15:08,249 --> 00:15:10,550
There were anomalies everywhere.
361
00:15:10,585 --> 00:15:12,068
And the more I looked, the more I saw.
362
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,676
Fascinating.
363
00:15:28,711 --> 00:15:30,395
What did you say
your name was?
364
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,381
Shmebulock... senior.
365
00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:35,758
It was finally a place where I felt at home,
366
00:15:35,794 --> 00:15:38,202
but something nagged at me.
367
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:39,937
Where did it all come from?
368
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:40,929
It seemed to me the answer must lie
369
00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:42,106
outside of our world,
370
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,675
a dimension of weirdness leaking into ours.
371
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,937
I realized the only way to understand Gravity Falls
372
00:15:47,972 --> 00:15:50,114
would be to build a gateway, a portal
373
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,166
to the source of its weirdness.
374
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,084
But I couldn't make it alone.
375
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,694
I decided to call up my old college buddy,
376
00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:57,221
Fiddleford McGucket,
377
00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:59,047
a young but brilliant mechanic
378
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,908
who was wasting his talent
379
00:16:00,943 --> 00:16:02,435
trying to make personal computers
380
00:16:02,470 --> 00:16:03,511
in some garage in Palo Alto.
381
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,646
[ringing]
382
00:16:05,681 --> 00:16:06,964
Hello. Fiddleford
Computermajigs.
383
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,099
You say you're trying
to build
384
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,809
a trans-universal
poly-dimensional meta vortex?
385
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,511
Well, that's
mathematically feasible,
386
00:16:12,546 --> 00:16:15,189
I reckon.
[spits]
387
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,208
Many long nights were spent perfecting the machine.
388
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,036
It would be the crowning achievement
389
00:16:20,071 --> 00:16:22,371
of my studies, an answer to the source
390
00:16:22,406 --> 00:16:24,281
of this town's anomalies.
391
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,558
Get out, get out,
get out!
392
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:29,854
The time had come to test it.
393
00:16:33,401 --> 00:16:35,534
Ready?
And...
394
00:16:35,569 --> 00:16:36,360
[yells]
What?
395
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:43,451
I got you, buddy.
396
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,649
What is it?
Is it working?
397
00:16:50,685 --> 00:16:52,185
What did you see?
398
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,346
[speaking gibberish]
399
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,265
Fiddleford?
400
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,216
When Gravity Falls
and earth becomes sky,
401
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,410
fear the beast
with just one eye.
402
00:17:01,445 --> 00:17:02,978
Fiddleford, get
a hold of yourself.
403
00:17:03,013 --> 00:17:04,505
You're not making
any sense.
404
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,365
This machine
is dangerous.
405
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,083
You'll bring about
the end of the world with this.
406
00:17:08,118 --> 00:17:09,861
Destroy it before
it destroys us all!
407
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,329
I can't destroy this.
It's my life's work.
408
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,157
I fear we've unleashed
a great danger on the world.
409
00:17:15,192 --> 00:17:17,785
One I'd just
as soon forget.
I quit.
410
00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:20,546
Fine. I'll do it
without you.
411
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:21,972
I don't need you,
I don't need anyone.
412
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,634
[eerie whispering]
413
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:28,129
What? Who said that?
414
00:17:28,164 --> 00:17:30,664
I was in over my head,
415
00:17:30,699 --> 00:17:32,608
and feared I was losing my sanity.
416
00:17:32,643 --> 00:17:34,085
I needed help. Someone I could trust.
417
00:17:36,397 --> 00:17:38,697
[pounding on door]
418
00:17:38,732 --> 00:17:40,074
Just give me a few more
days, Rico.
419
00:17:40,109 --> 00:17:41,842
I'll pay your goons back,
I swear.
420
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:04,332
You haven't seen your brother
in over ten years.
421
00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:06,033
It's okay. He's family.
He won't bite.
422
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,412
Who is it?
Have you come
to steal my eyes?
423
00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:13,683
Well, I can always
count on you
424
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:14,667
for a warm welcome.
425
00:18:20,158 --> 00:18:22,975
Stanley, did anyone
follow you, anyone at all?
426
00:18:23,010 --> 00:18:24,885
Hello to you, too, pal.
427
00:18:27,031 --> 00:18:29,915
Hey, what is this?
428
00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:32,084
Sorry. I just had to
make sure you weren't...
429
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:33,719
uh, it's nothing.
430
00:18:33,754 --> 00:18:36,172
Come in, come in.
431
00:18:36,207 --> 00:18:39,450
Are you gonna explain
what's going on here?
432
00:18:39,527 --> 00:18:41,160
You're acting like Mom
after her tenth cup of coffee.
433
00:18:41,195 --> 00:18:42,703
Listen, there
isn't much time.
434
00:18:42,738 --> 00:18:44,905
I've made huge mistakes,
435
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,682
and I don't know
who I can trust anymore.
436
00:18:46,717 --> 00:18:49,835
Hey, easy there.
Let's talk this
through, okay?
437
00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:52,187
I have something
to show you.
438
00:18:52,222 --> 00:18:54,173
Something you won't believe.
439
00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:55,883
I've been around
the world, okay?
440
00:18:55,918 --> 00:18:59,144
Whatever it is,
I'll understand.
441
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:02,056
There is nothing
about this I understand.
442
00:19:02,091 --> 00:19:04,267
It's a trans-universal
gateway,
443
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:06,853
a punched hole through
a weak spot in our dimension.
444
00:19:06,929 --> 00:19:10,147
I created it to unlock
the mysteries of the universe.
445
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:11,465
But it could just as easily
be harnessed
446
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,793
for terrible destruction.
447
00:19:13,828 --> 00:19:15,519
That's why I shut it down
and hid my journals
448
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:17,229
which explain
how to operate it.
449
00:19:17,265 --> 00:19:19,323
There's only
one journal left.
450
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,993
You are the only person
I can trust to take it.
451
00:19:23,028 --> 00:19:24,978
I have something
to ask of you.
452
00:19:25,014 --> 00:19:26,589
Remember our plans
to sail around the world
453
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,907
on a boat?
454
00:19:28,943 --> 00:19:30,776
Take this book,
get on a boat,
455
00:19:30,811 --> 00:19:32,978
and sail as far away
as you can.
456
00:19:33,013 --> 00:19:34,371
To the edge
of the earth.
457
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,415
Bury it where
no one can find it.
458
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:40,502
That's it?
459
00:19:40,537 --> 00:19:43,355
You finally wanna see me
after ten years,
460
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,850
and it's to tell me to get as
far away from you as possible?
461
00:19:45,927 --> 00:19:47,768
Stanley, you don't
understand what I'm up against.
462
00:19:47,803 --> 00:19:49,962
What I've been through.
463
00:19:49,998 --> 00:19:51,522
No, no, you don't understand
what I've been through.
464
00:19:51,599 --> 00:19:52,890
I've been to prison
in three different countries.
465
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:56,235
I once had to chew my way
out of the trunk of a car.
466
00:19:56,270 --> 00:19:57,945
You think you've
got problems?
467
00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:00,155
I've got
a mullet, Stanford.
468
00:20:00,190 --> 00:20:02,416
Meanwhile,
where have you been?
469
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,452
Living it up in
your fancy house
in the woods,
470
00:20:04,487 --> 00:20:06,512
selfishly hoarding
your college money,
471
00:20:06,547 --> 00:20:08,029
because you only
care about yourself.
472
00:20:08,065 --> 00:20:10,215
I'm selfish?
I'm selfish?
473
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,959
Stanley, how can
you say that
474
00:20:11,994 --> 00:20:13,877
after costing me
my dream school?
475
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:16,864
I'm giving you a chance
to do the first worthwhile
thing in your life,
476
00:20:16,899 --> 00:20:18,173
and you won't
even listen.
477
00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:19,992
Well, listen to this.
478
00:20:20,027 --> 00:20:21,819
You want me to get rid
of this book?
479
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,211
Fine, I'll get rid of it
right now.
480
00:20:23,247 --> 00:20:24,789
No! You don't understand.
481
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,249
You said you wanted
me to have it,
482
00:20:27,285 --> 00:20:28,217
so I'll do what
I want with it.
My research!
483
00:20:31,972 --> 00:20:33,264
Stanley, give it back.
484
00:20:36,477 --> 00:20:37,601
You want it back,
you're gonna have to
try harder than that.
485
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,439
You left me behind,
you jerk.
486
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,625
It was supposed to be
us forever.
487
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,318
You ruined my life.
You ruined your own life.
488
00:20:50,591 --> 00:20:51,723
Stanley. Oh, my gosh,
I'm so sorry.
489
00:20:51,759 --> 00:20:52,741
Are you all right?
490
00:20:58,682 --> 00:21:00,808
Some brother you
turned out to be.
491
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:03,218
You care more about
your dumb mysteries
than your family.
492
00:21:03,253 --> 00:21:05,663
Then you can have 'em.
493
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,349
Whoa, whoa, hey.
What's going on?
494
00:21:08,384 --> 00:21:10,942
Hey, Stanford...
Stanley, help me.
495
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,920
What do I do?
Stanley!
496
00:21:12,955 --> 00:21:14,896
Stanley,
do something!
497
00:21:14,932 --> 00:21:16,598
[screaming]
498
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:20,728
Stanford?
499
00:21:23,566 --> 00:21:25,232
Stanford, come back.
I didn't mean it.
500
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:29,578
I just got him back.
501
00:21:29,613 --> 00:21:31,647
I can't lose him again.
502
00:21:31,682 --> 00:21:33,031
Come on!
503
00:21:33,067 --> 00:21:35,534
[echoing]
Stanford!
504
00:21:35,569 --> 00:21:37,911
I lost him.
505
00:21:37,946 --> 00:21:39,871
I didn't know if he was dead or alive
506
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:41,924
in some distant galaxy,
507
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:43,509
but I knew his journal must have the answer
508
00:21:43,544 --> 00:21:45,002
to getting him back... somehow.
509
00:21:52,127 --> 00:21:53,260
I didn't get much sleep that night.
510
00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:58,607
Or the night after that.
511
00:21:58,643 --> 00:22:01,852
I tried for weeks to turn that dumb machine back on.
512
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:02,836
But without the other two journals,
513
00:22:02,872 --> 00:22:05,339
it was hopeless.
514
00:22:05,374 --> 00:22:07,274
Finally, I ran out of food.
515
00:22:07,309 --> 00:22:09,026
I had no choice but to go into town.
516
00:22:11,780 --> 00:22:14,006
Just the bread then,
stranger?
517
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,449
That'll be 99 cents.
518
00:22:18,328 --> 00:22:20,629
Hey, that's no stranger.
519
00:22:20,664 --> 00:22:22,840
That must be
the mysterious science guy
520
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:25,042
that lives in the woods.
521
00:22:25,078 --> 00:22:27,728
No, no, you got
the wrong guy.
522
00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:30,973
I've heard strange stories
about that old shack.
523
00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:34,184
Yeah, mysterious lights
and spooky experiments.
524
00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:36,945
Gosh, I'd pay anything
525
00:22:36,980 --> 00:22:39,273
to see what kind of
shenanigans you get
up to in there.
526
00:22:39,308 --> 00:22:41,976
Me, too.
Do you ever give tours?
527
00:22:42,011 --> 00:22:43,977
No, really, I...
528
00:22:45,672 --> 00:22:47,072
[sighs]
529
00:22:47,107 --> 00:22:49,316
Yes, I do give tours.
530
00:22:49,352 --> 00:22:51,293
Ten... no, no,
15 bucks a person.
531
00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:52,861
[cheering excitedly]
532
00:22:55,432 --> 00:22:57,641
So what did you say
your name was,
533
00:22:57,677 --> 00:22:59,684
you man of mystery?
534
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,495
Oh, Stan... ford.
535
00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:03,747
Stanford Pines.
536
00:23:06,335 --> 00:23:08,310
Step right up, folks,
537
00:23:08,346 --> 00:23:11,096
to a world of
enchantment or whatever.
538
00:23:11,131 --> 00:23:14,241
Behold the nerdy
science box.
539
00:23:14,277 --> 00:23:15,442
[electricity zaps]
540
00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:18,195
Ah! My eye!
541
00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:20,681
Uh, I can assure you,
that is in no way permanent.
542
00:23:20,716 --> 00:23:24,618
I paid $15 for this?
[people grumbling]
543
00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:27,988
Uh, you're lucky you weren't
part of the last tour group.
544
00:23:28,023 --> 00:23:30,674
They never made it
out alive.
545
00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:32,459
[chuckles nervously]
Right?
546
00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:35,395
[laughter]
547
00:23:35,430 --> 00:23:37,372
Funny.
548
00:23:37,407 --> 00:23:39,357
So I came up with a plan.
549
00:23:39,393 --> 00:23:41,067
I couldn't leave my brother's house
550
00:23:41,103 --> 00:23:42,677
until I figured out how to save him.
551
00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:43,454
But I needed to pay his mortgage somehow.
552
00:23:49,036 --> 00:23:50,294
For once in my life,
553
00:23:50,329 --> 00:23:53,138
people were actually buying what I was selling.
554
00:23:53,173 --> 00:23:55,023
And so, the Murder Hut was born.
555
00:23:55,059 --> 00:23:57,009
Later renamed the Mystery Shack.
556
00:23:57,044 --> 00:23:59,694
Finally, I'd found something I was good at.
557
00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:02,097
For once, being a liar and a cheat paid off.
558
00:24:02,133 --> 00:24:04,599
The old me was dead.
559
00:24:04,634 --> 00:24:07,544
And I faked a car crash to prove it.
560
00:24:07,579 --> 00:24:09,771
By day, I was Stanford Pines, Mr. Mystery.
561
00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:14,760
But by night, I was down in the basement,
562
00:24:14,795 --> 00:24:16,028
trying to bring the real Stanford back.
563
00:24:18,741 --> 00:24:20,173
I couldn't risk anyone learning the truth
564
00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:21,583
and sabotaging my mission.
565
00:24:21,618 --> 00:24:23,402
So I lied to everyone.
566
00:24:23,437 --> 00:24:25,037
The town, my family,
your parents.
567
00:24:25,072 --> 00:24:27,672
Even you kids.
568
00:24:27,708 --> 00:24:30,725
So all this time,
you were just trying
to save your brother.
569
00:24:30,761 --> 00:24:33,528
Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry
I didn't believe you.
570
00:24:33,564 --> 00:24:35,464
That's okay, kid.
571
00:24:35,499 --> 00:24:37,808
I probably wouldn't
have believed me either.
572
00:24:37,885 --> 00:24:39,560
[man] I heard talking.
It was coming from downstairs.
573
00:24:39,637 --> 00:24:41,262
We're too late.
The agents are
coming for us.
574
00:24:41,297 --> 00:24:43,647
What'll we do?
575
00:24:43,724 --> 00:24:45,682
Oh, man, I was so spellbound
by your dramatic tale,
576
00:24:45,718 --> 00:24:47,092
I forgot all about
those dudes.
577
00:24:47,127 --> 00:24:49,861
Wait. Forget.
That's it.
578
00:24:49,897 --> 00:24:53,081
I think I know a way we might
be able to defeat those agents.
579
00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:55,409
Of course.
580
00:24:55,486 --> 00:24:56,251
I don't know how you
got a hold of one of these,
581
00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:58,920
but this is perfect.
582
00:24:58,955 --> 00:25:01,323
I can just amplify the signal
to a radio headset frequency.
583
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:05,995
There. Now everyone,
plug your ears!
584
00:25:06,030 --> 00:25:08,313
Get down now!
585
00:25:08,348 --> 00:25:10,148
Sir, looks like there's
a hidden door
586
00:25:10,183 --> 00:25:11,592
behind the vending machines.
587
00:25:11,627 --> 00:25:15,195
Excellent. Get me
Washington on line one.
588
00:25:15,231 --> 00:25:17,305
I've been practicing making
sounds of excitement for
this very occasion.
589
00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:18,590
Hey, do you hear that?
590
00:25:28,377 --> 00:25:32,187
What? Where am I?
591
00:25:32,222 --> 00:25:35,532
Why am I standing in
some sort of goofy,
fun knick-knack house?
592
00:25:35,567 --> 00:25:37,743
Stand down, gentlemen.
593
00:25:37,820 --> 00:25:40,211
I've been sent with the latest
intel from Washington.
594
00:25:40,247 --> 00:25:41,397
According to this
very real report,
595
00:25:41,432 --> 00:25:43,415
the power surges
in Gravity Falls
596
00:25:43,450 --> 00:25:45,408
were actually
due to radiation
597
00:25:45,444 --> 00:25:47,552
from an unreported
meteor shower.
598
00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:49,904
A total embarrassment
for your whole department.
599
00:25:49,940 --> 00:25:51,940
Luckily, I'm here to take
this mess off your hands.
600
00:25:51,975 --> 00:25:54,192
I'll need all of your
floppy disks,
601
00:25:54,227 --> 00:25:57,671
and, uh, eight tracks.
Right?
602
00:25:57,706 --> 00:26:02,301
Uh, everything about
this case is contained
on this drive.
603
00:26:02,336 --> 00:26:03,893
Well, what are you
waiting for?
A kiss on the cheek?
604
00:26:03,929 --> 00:26:06,362
Get outta here before
I have your butts
court-martialed.
605
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:09,399
Uh, yes, sir.
Apologies, sir.
606
00:26:09,434 --> 00:26:11,092
[whistles]
False alarm, everyone.
607
00:26:11,127 --> 00:26:12,978
Whoa.
608
00:26:23,982 --> 00:26:26,917
Great-uncle Stanford,
that was amazing.
609
00:26:26,952 --> 00:26:28,710
Let's not go crazy.
It was serviceable.
610
00:26:28,745 --> 00:26:30,195
Ha ha, thank you, kids.
611
00:26:30,230 --> 00:26:32,156
But please, call me Ford.
612
00:26:32,191 --> 00:26:34,766
Sure. Thanks,
great-uncle Ford.
613
00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:36,818
So, uh, would you mind
if I asked you
614
00:26:36,853 --> 00:26:37,902
a couple million questions
about Gravity Falls?
615
00:26:37,938 --> 00:26:40,722
Um, well, I, uh...
616
00:26:40,757 --> 00:26:42,582
All right, kids,
it's been a long day.
617
00:26:42,618 --> 00:26:45,177
Me and my brother have
a lot to talk about.
618
00:26:45,212 --> 00:26:46,928
Why don't you
hit the hay, huh?
But it's the author.
619
00:26:46,963 --> 00:26:48,238
I've been waiting so long
to ask questions about--
620
00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:50,807
I said, hit the hay!
621
00:26:53,295 --> 00:26:56,230
I'll just let myself out.
622
00:26:56,265 --> 00:26:58,674
[phone dialing]
623
00:26:58,709 --> 00:27:00,342
Wendy, I've got something
amazing to tell you.
624
00:27:00,377 --> 00:27:01,818
Clear the next
14 hours.
625
00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:04,763
Look at us.
626
00:27:04,798 --> 00:27:06,598
When did we become
old men?
627
00:27:06,634 --> 00:27:08,550
You look like Dad.
628
00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:11,778
Don't say that.
[both laughing]
629
00:27:11,814 --> 00:27:14,506
[sighs]
Okay, Stanley,
here's the deal.
630
00:27:14,583 --> 00:27:16,967
You can stay here for the summer
to watch the kids.
631
00:27:17,002 --> 00:27:18,760
I'll stay down in
the basement
632
00:27:18,795 --> 00:27:20,428
and try to contain
any remaining damage.
633
00:27:20,463 --> 00:27:22,289
When the summer's over,
634
00:27:22,324 --> 00:27:23,874
you give me
my house back,
635
00:27:23,909 --> 00:27:25,759
you give me
my name back,
636
00:27:25,794 --> 00:27:27,235
and this Mystery Shack
junk is over forever.
637
00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:29,596
You got it?
638
00:27:29,631 --> 00:27:30,222
You really aren't gonna
thank me, are you?
639
00:27:32,343 --> 00:27:34,475
Fine. On one condition.
640
00:27:34,511 --> 00:27:36,194
Stay away from the kids.
641
00:27:36,229 --> 00:27:37,821
I don't want them
in danger.
642
00:27:37,856 --> 00:27:39,756
'Cause as far as
I'm concerned,
643
00:27:39,791 --> 00:27:42,025
they're the only family
I have left.
644
00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:50,149
Did you hear
what they said?
645
00:27:50,185 --> 00:27:51,768
I think Uncle Ford said
they're gonna buy us
646
00:27:51,803 --> 00:27:53,787
puppies made of
ice cream.
647
00:27:53,823 --> 00:27:55,597
Might be wishful
thinking, though.
648
00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:57,274
I don't know if this
is good or bad.
649
00:27:57,309 --> 00:27:59,701
I wanted to meet
the author, but...
650
00:27:59,737 --> 00:28:02,195
Yeah. I liked the way
things were here before.
651
00:28:02,231 --> 00:28:04,531
Just us and Stan,
652
00:28:04,566 --> 00:28:06,583
and the occasional
goblin monster.
653
00:28:06,618 --> 00:28:09,353
I'm sure they'll
work things out.
654
00:28:09,388 --> 00:28:11,104
Dipper, you don't think
we'll turn out
655
00:28:11,139 --> 00:28:12,664
like Stan and Ford,
do you?
656
00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:14,983
What do you mean?
657
00:28:15,018 --> 00:28:17,685
I mean, they used to be
best friends,
658
00:28:17,721 --> 00:28:20,489
but then, they got
all stupid.
659
00:28:20,524 --> 00:28:22,491
Can you promise me
you won't get stupid?
660
00:28:22,526 --> 00:28:24,692
Not stupider than you,
dum-dum.
661
00:28:24,728 --> 00:28:27,220
[giggles]
Good night, stupid.
662
00:28:27,256 --> 00:28:28,947
Good night, stupid.
663
00:28:34,455 --> 00:28:36,546
[Soos] Okay, so it turns out the second Stan,
664
00:28:36,581 --> 00:28:38,289
the Stan that we know,
665
00:28:38,325 --> 00:28:40,259
was actually Stanley,
666
00:28:40,294 --> 00:28:42,510
but the first Stan was Stanford,
667
00:28:42,545 --> 00:28:44,321
but we didn't know
668
00:28:44,356 --> 00:28:46,081
until Stanford came out of the portal,
669
00:28:46,116 --> 00:28:48,133
which was built by Stanford,
670
00:28:48,168 --> 00:28:50,260
but then Stanley pretending to be Stanford,
671
00:28:50,295 --> 00:28:52,520
he did the portal 'cause he's Stan,
672
00:28:52,555 --> 00:28:53,922
but he's not Stan.
673
00:28:53,957 --> 00:28:55,765
Soos, it's 3:00
in the morning.
674
00:28:55,801 --> 00:28:57,734
Okay, okay, I understand.
675
00:28:57,769 --> 00:28:59,177
Anyway, act two, Stan started...
676
00:28:59,212 --> 00:29:03,356
Aaaah!
48302
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