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1
00:00:36,458 --> 00:00:39,740
J where is the spot we
will love till we die j
2
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:43,914
j chiselbury, chiselbury j
3
00:00:43,917 --> 00:00:47,493
j there may we rot if
we're telling a lie &
4
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:51,414
j chiselbury, hear the cry j
5
00:00:51,417 --> 00:00:55,240
j gaudeamus, naught can harm us j
6
00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:59,038
j juvenentum, soundly sleep &
7
00:00:59,042 --> 00:01:02,956
j in our nighties or pyjamas j
8
00:01:02,958 --> 00:01:07,032
j Jim, his silent watch will keep j
9
00:01:07,042 --> 00:01:08,789
j omnia, omnia j
10
00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,664
j Willy nilly here we are j
11
00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:12,539
j here we cram, dreary damn j
12
00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:14,368
j Latin prep as nauseam j
13
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,698
j floreat, floreat j
14
00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:18,660
j you're gonna be jolly well sorry at j
15
00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:24,032
j chiselbury, chiselbury j
16
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,702
j up the school j
17
00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:53,160
Come on, giddy up, come on.
18
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,577
Giddy up!
19
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:56,583
Come on.
20
00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,827
Giddy up!
21
00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:02,831
Giddy up, come on!
22
00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:06,240
Giddy up!
23
00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:08,123
Push, you silly old fool, push!
24
00:02:08,125 --> 00:02:09,615
What is the matter with you?
25
00:02:09,625 --> 00:02:12,073
I'm doing my best, headmaster.
26
00:02:12,083 --> 00:02:13,163
I am trying.
27
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,914
You're never anything
else, Mr. pettigrew.
28
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,998
Are you my assistant
headmaster or are you not?
29
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,365
Yes, of course, headmaster.
30
00:02:19,375 --> 00:02:21,453
Well in that case, assist!
31
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:22,288
Yes.
32
00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:23,452
Come on, shove!
33
00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:24,288
Yes.
34
00:02:24,292 --> 00:02:26,243
It's not my fault
the blasted thing's stopped!
35
00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:28,413
If you weren't so mean and spent
all your money on yourself,
36
00:02:28,417 --> 00:02:29,497
we'd have been able to buy some,
37
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:32,702
be careful, look where you're going!
38
00:02:32,708 --> 00:02:34,198
Oh, look out headmaster.
39
00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:35,038
Good gracious me!
40
00:02:35,042 --> 00:02:35,872
You've ditched it!
41
00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:37,411
Oh, headmaster,
are you all right?
42
00:02:37,417 --> 00:02:38,748
'Course I'm, ow!
43
00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:40,498
Headmaster, oh, good gracious!
44
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,910
Now look what you've done!
45
00:02:41,917 --> 00:02:42,872
Oh, come here.
46
00:02:42,875 --> 00:02:44,623
Get me out of here.
47
00:02:48,542 --> 00:02:49,542
Pull me up the bank.
48
00:02:50,667 --> 00:02:52,618
You blithering idiot!
49
00:02:52,625 --> 00:02:56,448
Now, Mr. pettigrew, you
and I, Mr. pettigrew
50
00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:59,705
are going to walk all the
way to school, Mr. pettigrew,
51
00:02:59,708 --> 00:03:02,573
unless something happens
and... j there may we rot j
52
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,743
the school buses!
53
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:07,327
J chiselbury, hear the cry j
54
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:10,865
j gaudeamus, naught can harm us j
55
00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:14,407
j juvenentum, soundly sleep &
56
00:03:14,417 --> 00:03:18,410
j in our nighties or pyjamas j
57
00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:21,036
j Jim, his silent watch will keep j
58
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:25,323
all right, you dogs.
59
00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:27,035
Your headmaster can wait!
60
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,827
Surrounded by incompetence.
61
00:03:30,833 --> 00:03:31,833
Come on!
62
00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:35,414
Get the luggage, wait a minute.
63
00:03:35,417 --> 00:03:36,532
Oh!
64
00:03:36,542 --> 00:03:37,782
There's a car coming!
65
00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:40,118
Stop!
66
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:42,077
Stop! Stop!
67
00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:44,035
Ah wendover, well met.
68
00:03:44,042 --> 00:03:46,365
Hello sir, are you on
your way to school, sir?
69
00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:47,364
Yes, but we've had a...
70
00:03:47,375 --> 00:03:48,997
I'm afraid you're all wet sir.
71
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,365
Drive on, Smithers.
72
00:03:50,375 --> 00:03:52,407
See you there, sir.
73
00:03:54,542 --> 00:03:56,289
I shalln't forget that
boy wendover, in a hurry.
74
00:03:56,292 --> 00:03:57,452
Come on.
75
00:03:57,458 --> 00:03:58,948
Let's get the luggage.
76
00:03:58,958 --> 00:04:01,823
We've got a long way to walk now.
77
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:03,831
But headmaster, what about the car?
78
00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:05,164
What about the car?
79
00:04:05,167 --> 00:04:08,698
I'm sorry I ever allowed you
to lend me the blasted thing!
80
00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:13,072
J omnia, omnia j
81
00:04:13,083 --> 00:04:14,910
j Willy nilly here we are j
82
00:04:14,917 --> 00:04:16,698
j here we cram, dreary damn j
83
00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:18,660
j Latin prep ad nauseam j
84
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:20,323
j floreat, floreat j
85
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:22,081
j you're gonna be jolly well sorry at j
86
00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:27,282
j chiselbury, chiselbury j
87
00:04:27,292 --> 00:04:28,828
j up the school j
88
00:04:30,167 --> 00:04:31,498
38.
89
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:32,740
39.
90
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,532
40.
91
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,827
41.
92
00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:37,490
42.
93
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,706
43.
94
00:04:38,708 --> 00:04:40,581
Boys, boys!
95
00:04:40,583 --> 00:04:41,789
45.
96
00:04:41,792 --> 00:04:43,539
46.
97
00:04:43,542 --> 00:04:45,414
47.
98
00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:47,198
48.
99
00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:49,532
49.
100
00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:54,493
And the last one, backhand, 50!
101
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:57,827
Ah, the old arm hasn't lost its cunning.
102
00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:58,913
In fact, I get better.
103
00:04:58,917 --> 00:05:00,407
Oh, headmaster.
104
00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:02,323
Oh, miss carlini.
105
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:04,206
I've checked the medical supplies,
106
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:06,407
but there's nothing except
a few broken thermometers
107
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:08,448
and an empty bottle of syrup of figs.
108
00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:12,240
Well, lets not discuss that here.
109
00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:15,331
Let's go into that later,
shall we, just you and 1?
110
00:05:29,167 --> 00:05:30,703
Master, is that the new matron?
111
00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:31,788
Mm.
112
00:05:31,792 --> 00:05:34,115
Isn't she rather, uh...
113
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,125
She's very, er.
114
00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:40,327
Don't worry Mr. pettigrew,
she's only here for experience.
115
00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:41,413
But where did you?
116
00:05:41,417 --> 00:05:42,748
I thought I told you I had my holiday
117
00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:44,081
on the Italian riveria.
118
00:05:44,083 --> 00:05:47,118
Oh, but do you think she's quite...
119
00:05:47,125 --> 00:05:48,615
I know jolly well she isn't.
120
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,789
It's time for me to see
the new boys, isn't it?
121
00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:54,622
Yes, headmaster.
122
00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:55,614
How many new ticks are there this term?
123
00:05:55,625 --> 00:05:57,115
Only three, I'm afraid.
124
00:05:57,125 --> 00:05:58,873
But we had 67 applications.
125
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:01,243
64 of the parents changed their mind
126
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:02,998
when you sent them details of the school.
127
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,827
Oh well rather quality then quantity.
128
00:06:04,833 --> 00:06:06,911
Wheel 'em in, Mr. pettigrew, wheel 'em in.
129
00:06:09,792 --> 00:06:13,368
Come in boys, the
headmaster will see you now.
130
00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:14,375
Caps off.
131
00:06:20,208 --> 00:06:21,956
Come along boys, don't be shy.
132
00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:23,073
Come to the desk.
133
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:28,865
Welcome to chiselbury.
134
00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:31,073
Do not be afraid of me boys.
135
00:06:31,083 --> 00:06:33,948
I may look awe-inspiring but beneath
136
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:38,243
this forbidding exterior,
there beats a heart of a lamb.
137
00:06:39,417 --> 00:06:40,953
Remove that fly will you lad.
138
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,500
Into the basket.
139
00:06:46,292 --> 00:06:47,292
Basket!
140
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,705
Now what should you
know about this school?
141
00:06:53,708 --> 00:06:55,786
A phrase to remember is the Latin one,
142
00:06:55,792 --> 00:06:58,497
mens sana, corpore sanum.
143
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,698
Healthy mind, healthy body.
144
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:03,032
We give you the choice,
right, Mr. pettigrew?
145
00:07:03,042 --> 00:07:04,282
Well actually, I would say...
146
00:07:04,292 --> 00:07:05,702
You would say nothing.
147
00:07:05,708 --> 00:07:06,948
Jim does the oratory.
148
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,206
Now what are your names?
149
00:07:10,042 --> 00:07:11,122
- Wills, sir.
- Wills?
150
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,702
- Miller, sir.
- Miller.
151
00:07:12,708 --> 00:07:14,998
- Watney, sir.
- Watney!
152
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,118
Ah ha! That sounds like the
sort of lad we want here.
153
00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:20,827
Tell me, what does your father do?
154
00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:22,243
The right answer to this question
155
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:23,907
could make you a prefect overnight.
156
00:07:23,917 --> 00:07:25,157
He's a draper, sir.
157
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,407
Through the ranks for you, my boy.
158
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:33,868
Now I hope this is going
to be a happy relationship.
159
00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:38,160
I see myself and my boys
as, well, as a garden.
160
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,868
The boys are the flowers.
161
00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:43,618
Young, tender, fragile shoots, and me?
162
00:07:43,625 --> 00:07:45,868
I like to think of
myself as the fertiliser.
163
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:48,660
I'm sure that's how we all
think of you, headmaster.
164
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:51,747
All right boys, that's all.
165
00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:53,577
I may run across you once or
twice before you leave here,
166
00:07:53,583 --> 00:07:56,414
but in case I don't, good
luck in your future careers.
167
00:07:56,417 --> 00:07:58,323
Headmaster, I think we want to hear
168
00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,907
the birds and the bees.
169
00:08:00,917 --> 00:08:01,747
Not now.
170
00:08:01,750 --> 00:08:02,750
Cut along!
171
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,536
Mr. pettigrew, I thought
you always spent your holidays
172
00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:08,748
with your aged mother?
173
00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:09,580
I do.
174
00:08:09,583 --> 00:08:10,493
Then what do you want to hear
175
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,580
about the birds and the bees for?
176
00:08:11,583 --> 00:08:13,615
Oh, not me, headmaster, them.
177
00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:14,831
Oh, why didn't you remind me?
178
00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:15,822
I tried.
179
00:08:15,833 --> 00:08:18,327
In any case, with them,
it would only be revision.
180
00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:20,160
With you, it will be news.
181
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,122
What's next?
182
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,910
Tuck, pocket money and
health card inspection,
183
00:08:23,917 --> 00:08:25,248
lower third.
184
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:28,240
Lower third, eh?
185
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,823
Well, we'd better clear the decks.
186
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:35,073
Open up my secret confiscation cupboard.
187
00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:43,160
Now then, you take the collecting basket
188
00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:47,164
and I'll have the cane
with the steel core.
189
00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:49,911
Come on.
190
00:08:52,917 --> 00:08:54,823
Hey, hey, whose dog is this?
191
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:55,663
Mine sir.
192
00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:56,702
What's your name, lad?
193
00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:57,788
Baskerville, sir.
194
00:08:57,792 --> 00:09:01,448
Don't you know boy that pets
are not allowed on school...
195
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,698
Baskerville! Take him away, boy.
196
00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,331
Ah price.
197
00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:11,288
Enjoy your holidays?
198
00:09:11,292 --> 00:09:12,281
Yes, thank you, sir.
199
00:09:12,292 --> 00:09:13,748
Who's this?
200
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:14,580
My young brother, sir.
201
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:15,413
He came last term.
202
00:09:15,417 --> 00:09:16,202
Oh, yes of course.
203
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:17,163
Half price.
204
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,247
Aren't you lower third?
205
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:19,080
Yes, sir.
206
00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:20,289
Then why aren't you
in your dormitory, boy?
207
00:09:20,292 --> 00:09:21,122
I'm just coming up to inspect you
208
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:22,535
for pocket money and health cards.
209
00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:23,702
Cut along!
210
00:09:31,542 --> 00:09:33,368
- Good morning, boys.
- Good morning, sirs.
211
00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:36,410
Now, line up, at the end of your beds.
212
00:09:36,417 --> 00:09:38,706
All glad to be back at school?
213
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,618
Ask a silly question and
you get a silly answer.
214
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,788
So it's the lower third, eh?
215
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,115
Britain's answer to the h-bomb.
216
00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:50,911
Germ warfare, led by the
greatest freedom fighter
217
00:09:50,917 --> 00:09:54,865
of them all, fidel Castro grivas wendover.
218
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:57,118
No lifts given.
219
00:09:57,125 --> 00:10:00,081
I'm ready for you, wendover.
220
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,577
Let battle commence.
221
00:10:04,167 --> 00:10:05,167
Watch it!
222
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:08,167
Watch it!
223
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,663
Right now, health cards at the ready!
224
00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:12,744
Let's see what unfortunate
infectious diseases
225
00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:14,993
have been exposed to
you during the holidays.
226
00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:20,788
Clean bill, clean bill, clean bill.
227
00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:25,035
Occasional earache eh?
228
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,868
Pretty painful in your case, dumbo?
229
00:10:29,083 --> 00:10:30,083
Clean bill.
230
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:32,868
What's this you've been suffering from?
231
00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:35,831
No, sir, that's where I
come from, bally-Kelly.
232
00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:36,833
Oh, bally-Kelly.
233
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:38,750
Clean bill!
234
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,493
Excuse me sir, what happens
if a boy's been exposed
235
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,910
to any infectious diseases?
236
00:10:43,917 --> 00:10:45,453
You should know by now, crombie.
237
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:47,622
Straight home on the first train.
238
00:10:47,625 --> 00:10:50,164
I hereby certify that during the holidays,
239
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:54,285
my son Leslie contracted
hydrophobia, black death,
240
00:10:54,292 --> 00:10:57,573
beri-beri and pelmanism in the tropicals.
241
00:10:57,583 --> 00:10:59,782
Signed, his dad.
242
00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:02,077
How are you feeling now, crombie?
243
00:11:02,083 --> 00:11:03,163
Pretty rocky, sir,
244
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,285
but I think I can make it to the station.
245
00:11:05,292 --> 00:11:06,577
Oh you do, do you?
246
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:07,413
Crombie?
247
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,247
Sir?
248
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,365
It won't be the black death
but the black and blue death
249
00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:11,573
and it will be beri-beri
painful, bend over!
250
00:11:12,417 --> 00:11:14,494
Sir, I think I gave you the wrong card!
251
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:18,740
Clean bill.
252
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,452
What a relief, Mr. pettigrew, isn't it?
253
00:11:20,458 --> 00:11:21,743
Oh, I should say so.
254
00:11:24,833 --> 00:11:25,833
Clean bill, clean bill.
255
00:11:28,417 --> 00:11:31,202
Clean bill, clean bill.
256
00:11:32,542 --> 00:11:34,032
Tuck and currency examination.
257
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:36,410
Start with you mollins.
258
00:11:36,417 --> 00:11:37,827
Have you read this before?
259
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:38,788
Yes, sir.
260
00:11:38,792 --> 00:11:39,622
Have you anything to declare?
261
00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:41,282
No, sir. Do you want to look sir?
262
00:11:41,292 --> 00:11:42,077
Since you asked me, no.
263
00:11:42,083 --> 00:11:44,868
There must be more to
this than meets the eye.
264
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,577
Oh, that's an interesting
looking knot, is it not?
265
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,952
Bless my soul.
266
00:11:53,958 --> 00:11:57,240
I haven't come across
one of those since 1947.
267
00:11:58,333 --> 00:11:59,539
I've been framed, sir.
268
00:11:59,542 --> 00:12:01,414
I never knew it was there.
269
00:12:01,417 --> 00:12:02,657
How much currency?
270
00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:04,538
Two pounds, sir.
271
00:12:04,542 --> 00:12:06,956
The fine is two pounds.
272
00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:08,785
But sir, that's my pocket money.
273
00:12:08,792 --> 00:12:10,743
Couldn't I have a thousand lines?
274
00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:11,956
What a splendid idea.
275
00:12:11,958 --> 00:12:13,368
Take a thousand lines as well.
276
00:12:13,375 --> 00:12:15,123
Make a note of that, Mr. pettigrew.
277
00:12:20,292 --> 00:12:22,198
A hal
278
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,782
you look very pleased
with yourself, wendover.
279
00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:25,622
Yes, sir.
280
00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:27,703
The gay abandon of a clear conscience?
281
00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:29,786
Exactly sir, you can't whack it.
282
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:30,952
I can whack anything.
283
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:32,830
Open up.
284
00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:34,490
Please sir, take my word for it.
285
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,160
You won't find anything
in there that you like.
286
00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:38,282
Open up.
287
00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:40,198
Please sir, for your sake, I beg of you.
288
00:12:40,208 --> 00:12:41,493
Open up!
289
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:42,500
All right sir.
290
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:45,532
Could this be the double bluff?
291
00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:47,660
Don't open it, then he knows I will.
292
00:12:51,042 --> 00:12:52,789
Shap!
293
00:12:52,792 --> 00:12:55,411
Did you honestly think I was
born yesterday, wendover?
294
00:12:55,417 --> 00:12:57,323
Yes, sir, I mean, no sir.
295
00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:59,702
And thank you very much for warning me.
296
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,032
- Oh, headmaster!
- Get it off, get it off!
297
00:13:05,042 --> 00:13:06,578
Keep still, headmaster.
298
00:13:06,583 --> 00:13:07,948
Get it off!
299
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,539
Proper little rodent operator
aren't you, wendover?
300
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:17,369
All right, I was born yesterday
301
00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:20,577
but you, my friend will wish
you've never been born at all!
302
00:13:22,042 --> 00:13:26,993
Oh, headmaster, not again!
303
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,282
But sir, it was only a
beginning of term joke.
304
00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:32,740
It will have a sore ending, boy.
305
00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:34,407
Make a note of the punishment, pettigrew.
306
00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:37,789
Six of the best for attempting
to mutilate the headmaster.
307
00:13:37,792 --> 00:13:39,448
My drinking hand too,
308
00:13:39,458 --> 00:13:41,873
and six more for evading customs duty.
309
00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:43,206
A total of 15 whacks.
310
00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:44,072
Oh no, sir.
311
00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:44,913
Six and six are 12.
312
00:13:44,917 --> 00:13:46,157
Add another six for answering back.
313
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:46,997
But sir...
314
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,243
And a further six for
persistent answering back.
315
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,285
Anything more to say?
316
00:13:51,625 --> 00:13:54,581
Very well, add another
six for dumb insolence.
317
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,490
That should be a total of 42.
318
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:59,039
Well my lad, as you're a regular customer,
319
00:13:59,042 --> 00:14:01,119
I'm prepared to make it up to the round 50
320
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:02,827
with no extra charge.
321
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,911
Bend over, wendover.
322
00:14:05,833 --> 00:14:06,788
Professor Edwards.
323
00:14:06,792 --> 00:14:08,282
Professor Edwards!
324
00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:10,615
Hello, sir.
325
00:14:10,625 --> 00:14:11,990
Who is this boy?
326
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,456
I thought you might
have recognised the view,
327
00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:15,035
bishop wendover.
328
00:14:15,042 --> 00:14:16,202
Daddy!
329
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:17,539
Peregrin!
330
00:14:17,542 --> 00:14:18,702
What is going on?
331
00:14:18,708 --> 00:14:22,577
Well, I'm practising
for my gymnastic display.
332
00:14:24,292 --> 00:14:25,868
Professor Edwards.
333
00:14:25,875 --> 00:14:27,206
You'll do yourself a harm.
334
00:14:27,208 --> 00:14:28,072
Oh, no, no, no.
335
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:29,660
Are you sure you
weren't going to flog him?
336
00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:30,998
Flog him?
337
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,490
I'd flog him to the first bidder.
338
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,618
Why would I strike your son, bishop,
339
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,407
a boy I'm grooming for stardom.
340
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,577
The pick of the pops.
341
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:39,535
I would rather lose my right hand.
342
00:14:41,208 --> 00:14:43,577
Why don't you run along, Sonny boy
343
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,581
and rejoin your playmates?
344
00:14:45,583 --> 00:14:48,077
Nice Mr. pettigrew will
take you up to your dormi.
345
00:14:49,542 --> 00:14:51,619
Headmaster, I've brought
the new chairman of
346
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:52,865
the board of governors along.
347
00:14:52,875 --> 00:14:54,240
I had no idea we had a new chairman.
348
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,205
Oh indeed we have.
349
00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:58,039
The new chairman has very
decided views on education.
350
00:14:58,042 --> 00:14:58,872
Oh blimey.
351
00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:00,748
Insisted on having a
look round the school
352
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:01,750
before meeting you.
353
00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:04,827
Headmaster, may I
introduce the new chairman
354
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,243
of the chiselbury board of governors?
355
00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:08,328
Chairman? Then why is
he dressed up as a woman?
356
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:09,243
He is.
357
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:10,907
I mean, she is a woman.
358
00:15:10,917 --> 00:15:12,573
Lady Emily Gore Willoughby.
359
00:15:12,583 --> 00:15:14,490
I wish to be left alone
with the headmaster.
360
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:17,119
Oh come, come, dear
lady, we've only just met.
361
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,956
I understand, I'll have
a look at the chapel.
362
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:22,955
Pray for me, bishop.
363
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:29,164
Professor Edwards, the
scholastic standard here,
364
00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:32,123
the sports record, the conduct of the boys
365
00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:34,032
is all uniformly appalling.
366
00:15:34,042 --> 00:15:36,365
The examination results are
the worst I've ever seen.
367
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:38,823
Madam, do I detect a
tiny note of criticism?
368
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:42,115
No, you're listening to an ultimatum.
369
00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:44,323
If there is not a vast
improvement in a very short time,
370
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:47,118
you will be asked to resign
at the end of this term.
371
00:15:47,125 --> 00:15:47,955
So it's threats, is it?
372
00:15:47,958 --> 00:15:50,202
Well, madam, I think you'll
find that I don't frighten
373
00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,038
all that easy.
374
00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:53,581
If you want to sack me, go ahead
and sack me, see if I care.
375
00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:54,413
There's plenty of things
376
00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:56,198
a man of my qualifications can do.
377
00:15:56,208 --> 00:15:59,911
I can, I can..
378
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,285
Please don't sack me!
379
00:16:03,292 --> 00:16:04,122
What will I do?
380
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,205
I only know headmastering.
381
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:06,910
I'm too old to start working for a living.
382
00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:08,994
I can only assure you that
unless a miracle occurs,
383
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,414
you leave in 12 weeks time.
384
00:16:11,417 --> 00:16:12,406
A miracle?
385
00:16:12,417 --> 00:16:14,990
You mean a fatality on
the board of governors?
386
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,748
I mean the number of boys made up.
387
00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:17,865
Better examination results.
388
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:20,494
Resurgence in the field of sport.
389
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,578
Something, anything.
390
00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:23,823
Well, of course, I've
got sweeping plans.
391
00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:24,993
What plans?
392
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,748
Well they're not completely
formulated at the moment,
393
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:28,913
I need time to mince them into words.
394
00:16:28,917 --> 00:16:30,493
How much time?
395
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,248
How much time have you got?
396
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:34,123
A year, a month?
397
00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:35,827
Fortnight, a week?
398
00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:36,663
Tomorrow?
399
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,956
Tomorrow, very well,
I'll be here tomorrow
400
00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:40,615
and your plans had better be good.
401
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:46,164
Tomorrow.
402
00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:49,493
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.
403
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,785
Go away!
404
00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:55,663
What is it headmaster?
405
00:16:55,667 --> 00:17:00,664
Dash, bother, blast,
rotten, beastly, smelly.
406
00:17:01,042 --> 00:17:02,031
Good news”?
407
00:17:02,042 --> 00:17:03,122
Good news.
408
00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:05,077
The new charwoman of the board
of governors has been here.
409
00:17:05,083 --> 00:17:08,456
Unless I show some concrete
gee-up in the school affairs
410
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:11,448
this term, it's goodbye
mister, you've had your chips.
411
00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:12,914
Oh no, headmaster, that mustn't be.
412
00:17:12,917 --> 00:17:14,493
It is be.
413
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,039
She's coming here tomorrow to
see what plans I haven't got.
414
00:17:17,042 --> 00:17:18,122
Tomorrow!
415
00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:20,288
You've better round up all the
martyrs for a special meeting
416
00:17:20,292 --> 00:17:21,702
in the common room this evening,
417
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,456
as soon as I've seen the boys to bed.
418
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:41,497
What's this?
419
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:44,285
Miller, wills, watney, reveal yourselves.
420
00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:48,625
Water works?
421
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:52,073
Blubbing in bed is not
allowed at chiselbury.
422
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:54,282
It shrinks the pillowcases.
423
00:17:54,292 --> 00:17:55,868
See if these will cheer you up.
424
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,285
Old english gobstoppers.
425
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,453
Suck no further than the purple tonight,
426
00:18:06,458 --> 00:18:09,198
then go to sleep and
dream your childish dreams
427
00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:11,657
of bloodshed and massacre.
428
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:12,497
Goodnight chaps.
429
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:13,500
Goodnight, sir.
430
00:18:15,208 --> 00:18:17,206
I say, that chap wendover was right.
431
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:19,498
He said Jim was a
pushover for a good blub.
432
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,373
I bet we'd have got them anyway.
433
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:22,455
Correct, Mr. watney.
434
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:27,333
Wendover.
435
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:36,702
Good night boys.
436
00:18:36,708 --> 00:18:38,118
Goodnight, sir.
437
00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:40,865
Where are they?
438
00:18:40,875 --> 00:18:42,657
They didn't come back sir.
439
00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:44,830
I'm the only one left in this dorm, sir.
440
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:48,456
Empty saddles in the old corral eh?
441
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:50,331
Poor old, half price.
442
00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:53,831
It feels a bit googly all alone sir.
443
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,831
I bet it does.
444
00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:57,535
Here, hop out of bed and come with me.
445
00:18:57,542 --> 00:18:58,782
Oh, thank you, sir.
446
00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:00,368
We'll find you a berth next door.
447
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:01,952
Oh thank you sir.
448
00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:03,615
I know what solitary
confinement is like.
449
00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:05,948
Have you been to prison then, sir?
450
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:07,243
Yeah, during the war.
451
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:08,907
Stalag six, sir?
452
00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:10,823
No, jankers one.
453
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,118
Oh.
454
00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:20,198
We'll find a bed for you
in here with the lower third.
455
00:19:20,208 --> 00:19:22,828
Lower third, you go in first
456
00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:24,490
but wait til I give you a signal.
457
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:25,500
Yes, sir.
458
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:45,907
Stand up, the boy responsible
for that little lark.
459
00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:46,917
Me sir.
460
00:19:48,458 --> 00:19:50,907
I might have guessed it, wendover.
461
00:19:50,917 --> 00:19:52,248
So you admit it, eh?
462
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,539
Yes, sir, very sorry sir.
It wasn't meant for you, sir.
463
00:19:54,542 --> 00:19:56,118
May I ask for whom it was meant?
464
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:59,160
Theoiks from the upper fourth
if they tried a raid, sir.
465
00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:00,623
But you knew I was on my rounds.
466
00:20:00,625 --> 00:20:02,703
Yes sir, but you should've
used the other door, sir.
467
00:20:02,708 --> 00:20:04,330
Do you recall what happened last term
468
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:05,243
when I used the other door?
469
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,615
I still got the scars.
470
00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,948
Yes, sir, that's why we put
it on that one this time, sir.
471
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,663
We didn't want it to happen again.
472
00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,956
How very considerate of you.
473
00:20:13,958 --> 00:20:16,327
Wendover, this term is only one day old
474
00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:17,955
and I'm already conscious of something.
475
00:20:17,958 --> 00:20:19,368
What's that please sir?
476
00:20:20,542 --> 00:20:22,493
This joint ain't big
enough for you and me both.
477
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:25,490
Report to my study at 9.30
tomorrow morning for a whacking.
478
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,248
But sir, you can't whack a man just
479
00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,368
because you came through the wrong door.
480
00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:30,615
Point taken, wendover.
481
00:20:30,625 --> 00:20:32,407
I shall not whack you for that.
482
00:20:32,417 --> 00:20:33,247
Thank you sir.
483
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:34,330
But I shall whack you
for telling me the new boys
484
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,365
that I'm a pushover for a good blub!
485
00:20:39,292 --> 00:20:41,740
The head's career is in
the balance, gentlemen.
486
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:44,455
The new chairman of the board
of governors is after him.
487
00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:46,827
You see, it's a woman.
Well, pay the woman off.
488
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:48,118
Same as we did with that barmaid.
489
00:20:48,125 --> 00:20:50,698
No, no, no, the chairman is a woman.
490
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:54,081
Well, we mustn't lose our head.
491
00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:56,498
I mean, unless we can think
of some immediate method
492
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,498
of improving the school,
493
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,122
we shall lose our beloved headmaster.
494
00:21:02,167 --> 00:21:04,490
Well, some of you might
at least look upset.
495
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:08,990
I daresay, professor Edwards
may not always be orthodox
496
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,327
in his method but to his
staff, he has always been
497
00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:15,038
the very soul of courtesy
and consideration.
498
00:21:15,042 --> 00:21:16,282
Out of my chair, baldy.
499
00:21:16,292 --> 00:21:17,452
Well come on, come on.
500
00:21:17,458 --> 00:21:18,664
Come on gentlemen, sit down, sit down.
501
00:21:18,667 --> 00:21:21,702
Don't stand about like
a lot of spare parts.
502
00:21:21,708 --> 00:21:22,788
Well, gentlemen, here it is.
503
00:21:22,792 --> 00:21:25,827
I have thought of the only
way to put chiselbury school
504
00:21:25,833 --> 00:21:26,788
back on the map.
505
00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:29,115
In two words, pub-licity.
506
00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:31,782
Now here's what we do.
507
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:33,698
We get a team of chiselbury boys
508
00:21:33,708 --> 00:21:36,077
on to one of those round
britain quiz programmes.
509
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:39,500
Well?
510
00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:43,285
What sort of questions do
they ask in these quizzes?
511
00:21:43,292 --> 00:21:45,660
Oh just ordinary elementary
general knowledge questions.
512
00:21:45,667 --> 00:21:47,618
What was the date of
the battle of Waterloo,
513
00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:48,910
what's five times 157
514
00:21:48,917 --> 00:21:50,373
what!
515
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:51,364
What's happening?
516
00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:52,205
What?
517
00:21:52,208 --> 00:21:53,414
It's a quiz for the boys.
518
00:21:53,417 --> 00:21:55,073
What's five times 157?
519
00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:56,198
What?
520
00:21:56,208 --> 00:21:58,623
Five times 15.
521
00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:01,118
Go to sleep you silly old fool.
522
00:22:03,083 --> 00:22:04,619
Oh, I see.
523
00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:06,373
Well now, we must only
enter the very cream
524
00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:08,157
of our scholastic talent.
525
00:22:08,167 --> 00:22:10,907
Now have you got your end of
term exam markings with you?
526
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:16,452
Good, now sing out the names of all boys
527
00:22:16,458 --> 00:22:18,035
who got more than 80 out of 100.
528
00:22:26,208 --> 00:22:29,289
All right, any boy who got
more than 50 out of 100.
529
00:22:36,375 --> 00:22:38,573
Well, any boy who got double figures?
530
00:22:47,875 --> 00:22:49,285
So that's it, is it?
531
00:22:49,292 --> 00:22:52,327
Bang goes the quiz idea
and bang goes my job.
532
00:22:52,333 --> 00:22:54,657
Thanks to your bungling inefficiency.
533
00:22:54,667 --> 00:22:56,243
My blood is on your hands.
534
00:22:56,250 --> 00:22:57,581
It's nothing to do with me, sir.
535
00:22:57,583 --> 00:23:00,698
How typical of you to
try and crawl out of it.
536
00:23:00,708 --> 00:23:02,244
I never did like the look of your face.
537
00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:03,410
But you've never seen it before sir.
538
00:23:03,417 --> 00:23:04,406
I wasn't here last term.
539
00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:05,247
Why not?
540
00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:07,032
Where were you in our hour of need?
541
00:23:07,042 --> 00:23:08,823
Headmaster, Mr. colbourne
has only just arrived.
542
00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:09,822
He's a new master.
543
00:23:09,833 --> 00:23:11,164
That's no excuse.
544
00:23:11,167 --> 00:23:12,788
I shall be watching you.
545
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,990
Well, where are all these
brilliant suggestions?
546
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,873
If only we could get some
of the young aristocracy
547
00:23:16,875 --> 00:23:18,702
to come to chiselbury, headmaster.
548
00:23:18,708 --> 00:23:20,706
I'm sure that would impress
lady Gore Willoughby
549
00:23:20,708 --> 00:23:21,618
more then anything.
550
00:23:21,625 --> 00:23:23,498
Yeah, it's a pity the
prince couldn't come here.
551
00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:25,948
Not a chance, I wrote
to Buckingham Palace
552
00:23:25,958 --> 00:23:27,785
and they never even bothered to reply.
553
00:23:27,792 --> 00:23:31,660
No sir, I mean prince
hassid Ali of giwak.
554
00:23:31,667 --> 00:23:33,539
What, the son of that oil merchant?
555
00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:37,827
Yes, prince hasid Ali, heir
to the throne of oil-rich,
556
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:40,743
trouble racked giwak, will
arrive in London shortly
557
00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:42,868
and go to a British public school.
558
00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:45,615
Owing to the disturbed politcal
situation in his country,
559
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:48,872
he will use an assumed
name and the school chosen
560
00:23:48,875 --> 00:23:51,535
will remain a closely guarded secret.
561
00:23:51,542 --> 00:23:54,035
Vastly interesting,
thank you, Mr. hamley,
562
00:23:54,042 --> 00:23:55,618
you read beautifully.
563
00:23:55,625 --> 00:23:58,660
Tell me, if you were king of this giwak,
564
00:23:58,667 --> 00:24:01,035
would you send your son to chiselbury?
565
00:24:01,042 --> 00:24:02,452
Good lord, no sir.
566
00:24:03,292 --> 00:24:04,828
Well then why waste my time?!
567
00:24:04,833 --> 00:24:05,868
Why wouldn't you send him?
568
00:24:05,875 --> 00:24:08,785
Well, I don't suppose he's
ever heard of the place, sir.
569
00:24:08,792 --> 00:24:13,122
Lame, Mr. hamley, and
smacking of disloyalty.
570
00:24:13,125 --> 00:24:14,827
Well hasn't anybody got any bright ideas?
571
00:24:14,833 --> 00:24:16,785
I've got it, headmaster, the answer.
572
00:24:16,792 --> 00:24:18,368
Well, come on, come on.
573
00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:20,615
- 75.
- Eh?
574
00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:24,789
You asked me what five times 15 is, 75.
575
00:24:24,792 --> 00:24:25,952
Here are my workings.
576
00:24:25,958 --> 00:24:27,990
Thank you Mr. dinwiddie.
577
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,577
10 out of 10.
578
00:24:30,667 --> 00:24:31,952
He'll have to go, you know.
579
00:24:31,958 --> 00:24:34,698
We'll have to get another pt instructor.
580
00:24:34,708 --> 00:24:36,365
Well gentlemen, thank you for nothing.
581
00:24:36,375 --> 00:24:39,035
Goodnight and take rip
Van winkle with you.
582
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000
Come on.
583
00:24:50,375 --> 00:24:52,538
You'll find some way out, headmaster.
584
00:24:52,542 --> 00:24:55,407
Your guardian angel won't
let you down, you'll see.
585
00:24:55,417 --> 00:24:56,782
I hope not.
586
00:24:56,792 --> 00:24:58,823
Do your best, Dr. crippen.
587
00:24:58,833 --> 00:24:59,868
I'll tell you one thing, headmaster,
588
00:24:59,875 --> 00:25:01,827
if they sack you, they'll
have to sack me too.
589
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:03,911
If you go, I go.
590
00:25:03,917 --> 00:25:06,035
Petters, Oliver.
591
00:25:07,042 --> 00:25:10,448
Dim, you may be but you
should have a little lion
592
00:25:10,458 --> 00:25:13,198
stamped right there.
593
00:25:13,208 --> 00:25:14,698
You're a good egg.
594
00:25:24,333 --> 00:25:25,869
What is all this noise?
595
00:25:25,875 --> 00:25:27,081
Quiet!
596
00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:28,740
How many times did I tell you
boys about all this shouting
597
00:25:28,750 --> 00:25:30,115
and arguing in the corridors?
598
00:25:30,125 --> 00:25:32,123
Sounds like the house of commons.
599
00:25:32,125 --> 00:25:35,782
And caps are not worn indoors, storrishot,
600
00:25:35,792 --> 00:25:37,789
and take that smile off your face.
601
00:25:37,792 --> 00:25:39,910
I'll tell you when I've
said something funny.
602
00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:44,407
Sid, what are you doing here?
603
00:25:44,417 --> 00:25:46,831
A matter of 200 quid,
owing from kempton park.
604
00:25:46,833 --> 00:25:49,248
Not in front of the boys,
come in the study, quick.
605
00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:50,660
Son, you wait here.
606
00:25:53,417 --> 00:25:54,577
Have you gone raving mad?
607
00:25:54,583 --> 00:25:57,032
I can't afford to be seen
talking to a common bookmaker.
608
00:25:57,042 --> 00:25:58,532
Why do you think I place all my bets under
609
00:25:58,542 --> 00:25:59,622
the name of Benjamin disraeli?
610
00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:01,623
Common bookmaker I may be but you owe me
611
00:26:01,625 --> 00:26:02,910
an uncommon 200 quid.
612
00:26:02,917 --> 00:26:04,327
I went you a cheque for the full amount.
613
00:26:04,333 --> 00:26:05,823
Yes, sighed Benjamin disraeli.
614
00:26:05,833 --> 00:26:06,788
Now listen to me, Edwards.
615
00:26:06,792 --> 00:26:08,032
If I don't get a full settlement,
616
00:26:08,042 --> 00:26:09,498
I'm having a word with
your board of governors.
617
00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:11,532
Is this your much
vaunted credit system?
618
00:26:11,542 --> 00:26:12,907
Look sid, I haven't got 200 quid.
619
00:26:12,917 --> 00:26:14,123
I didn't think you had.
620
00:26:14,125 --> 00:26:15,907
That's why I'm willing
to take a quid pro quo.
621
00:26:15,917 --> 00:26:16,872
I haven't even got a quid.
622
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:18,827
That's Latin, it means
you scratch my back
623
00:26:18,833 --> 00:26:19,822
and I'll scratch yours.
624
00:26:19,833 --> 00:26:20,868
What a repulsive thought.
625
00:26:20,875 --> 00:26:22,748
Yeah, that's where the pro quo comes in.
626
00:26:22,750 --> 00:26:24,702
I'm experiencing a great
deal of difficulty in finding
627
00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:26,164
a school for my boy, Cecil.
628
00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:27,452
Him what's outside.
629
00:26:27,458 --> 00:26:28,447
I want you to take him.
630
00:26:28,458 --> 00:26:29,288
Me? Why?
631
00:26:29,292 --> 00:26:30,948
'Cause no one else'll take him.
632
00:26:30,958 --> 00:26:32,785
Not since they kicked him
out of the approved school.
633
00:26:32,792 --> 00:26:33,622
The what school?
634
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:35,035
I'm not having any old lags here.
635
00:26:35,042 --> 00:26:36,327
I'm in enough trouble already.
636
00:26:36,333 --> 00:26:38,331
Listen mate, there was
another schoolmaster tried
637
00:26:38,333 --> 00:26:39,322
welshing on his debts.
638
00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:41,452
One quiet word to the school governors,
639
00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:42,994
he was on the milk train next morning.
640
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,365
Milk, ugh.
641
00:26:44,375 --> 00:26:46,032
Well, professor Edwards?
642
00:26:46,042 --> 00:26:49,077
Oh, Sidney, I shan't keep you a moment.
643
00:26:49,083 --> 00:26:52,535
Urgent business,
prospective mother, parent.
644
00:26:52,542 --> 00:26:54,032
Just wait outside a second.
645
00:26:54,042 --> 00:26:56,073
I'm just placing an
order with our milkman.
646
00:26:56,083 --> 00:26:58,202
We get through so much yoghourt here.
647
00:26:58,208 --> 00:27:00,407
Lady Gore Willoughby,
what a pleasant surprise.
648
00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:02,785
Surprise? But you asked
me to come today to hear
649
00:27:02,792 --> 00:27:04,077
the details of your plans.
650
00:27:04,083 --> 00:27:05,163
Plans?
651
00:27:05,167 --> 00:27:06,247
For the future of the school.
652
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,706
The future of the school.
653
00:27:07,708 --> 00:27:10,368
Professor Edwards, stop
repeating what I say.
654
00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:11,660
I want to hear and approve of those plans
655
00:27:11,667 --> 00:27:12,873
or receive your resignation.
656
00:27:14,375 --> 00:27:16,202
There's that word again.
657
00:27:16,208 --> 00:27:19,831
Oh well, I suppose this
is the moment of truth.
658
00:27:19,833 --> 00:27:21,706
The end of the road.
659
00:27:21,708 --> 00:27:26,243
No more to tread these ancient cloisters,
660
00:27:26,250 --> 00:27:29,452
no more to touch these aged old walls
661
00:27:29,458 --> 00:27:31,622
with all their flagrant memories.
662
00:27:33,375 --> 00:27:34,375
Oh!
663
00:27:36,833 --> 00:27:40,331
Cut off from all things dear.
664
00:27:41,833 --> 00:27:45,206
Have gown, will travel.
665
00:27:45,208 --> 00:27:46,888
Are you implying that you have no plans?
666
00:27:48,708 --> 00:27:50,660
I was only speaking hypertheatrically.
667
00:27:50,667 --> 00:27:53,828
Lady Gore Willoughby, if I told
you I was in love with you,
668
00:27:53,833 --> 00:27:54,948
I supposed you wouldn't
believe it would you?
669
00:27:54,958 --> 00:27:56,990
- Certainly not!
- Well I can drop that then.
670
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,032
Professor Edwards, how
old do you think I am?
671
00:27:59,042 --> 00:28:01,410
- Oh, I've seen them older.
- Well I can assure you,
672
00:28:01,417 --> 00:28:04,914
you're not my idea of a prince charming.
673
00:28:04,917 --> 00:28:06,914
That's it, the prince.
674
00:28:08,042 --> 00:28:10,490
Thank you, Dr. crippen.
675
00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:11,831
What are you muttering about this time?
676
00:28:11,833 --> 00:28:15,160
You wanted to hear my
plans, well here's the secret.
677
00:28:15,167 --> 00:28:16,993
He is coming to chiselbury.
678
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:17,830
Who is?
679
00:28:17,833 --> 00:28:18,663
Prince hassid of giwak.
680
00:28:18,667 --> 00:28:19,452
I don't believe it.
681
00:28:19,458 --> 00:28:22,118
Not under his own name of
course, naturally, incognito.
682
00:28:22,125 --> 00:28:23,907
While he's here, he'll
be known as Cecil Biggs,
683
00:28:23,917 --> 00:28:25,248
a simple bookie's son.
684
00:28:25,250 --> 00:28:27,448
It's impossible. If it were
true, the board of governors
685
00:28:27,458 --> 00:28:28,493
would have been notified.
686
00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:29,785
Oh no, they wouldn't.
687
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:30,998
Foreign office orders.
688
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,907
Only I am supposed to know.
689
00:28:32,917 --> 00:28:34,373
But it will spread around in time.
690
00:28:34,375 --> 00:28:35,706
You and I can see to that.
691
00:28:35,708 --> 00:28:36,538
But...
692
00:28:36,542 --> 00:28:38,163
Then parents will be
queuing up to send their boys
693
00:28:38,167 --> 00:28:40,410
here, while we can charge key
money, we can put the fees up.
694
00:28:40,417 --> 00:28:42,660
Chiselbury will become so
popular that eton and harrow
695
00:28:42,667 --> 00:28:43,907
will be advertising on itv.
696
00:28:43,917 --> 00:28:46,490
And then who
knows, if we do it well,
697
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:48,948
it may be dame lady Gore Willoughby.
698
00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:50,706
Sir James Edwards.
699
00:28:51,583 --> 00:28:53,240
The possibilities are endless.
700
00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:54,581
Keep it under your hat.
701
00:28:54,583 --> 00:28:58,081
One false move and they may
take the little sheikh away.
702
00:28:58,083 --> 00:29:00,703
I'm relying on you, Emily.
703
00:29:00,708 --> 00:29:01,743
This is such wonderful news,
704
00:29:01,750 --> 00:29:02,956
why didn't you tell me before?
705
00:29:02,958 --> 00:29:04,831
I hadn't thought of it,
who'd have thought it?
706
00:29:05,667 --> 00:29:08,327
Now run along, I've got to ring the fo.
707
00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:09,664
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
708
00:29:15,917 --> 00:29:16,747
Sid.
709
00:29:16,750 --> 00:29:18,407
Look, what's going on?
710
00:29:18,417 --> 00:29:19,406
Is Cecil in orisn't he?
711
00:29:19,417 --> 00:29:20,327
He's halfway in.
712
00:29:20,333 --> 00:29:22,657
Listen, you ever heard of
prince hassid of giwak?
713
00:29:22,667 --> 00:29:23,577
Who's the trainer?
714
00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:25,456
He's not a horse you ignoramus.
715
00:29:25,458 --> 00:29:26,789
He's middle east postentate.
716
00:29:26,792 --> 00:29:28,789
Now listen, if we can make
everybody believe that Cecil
717
00:29:28,792 --> 00:29:32,198
is prince hassid under an
assumed name, then he's in.
718
00:29:32,208 --> 00:29:33,493
Have you gone potty?
719
00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:36,365
If you and I use our loaves,
we can get away with this.
720
00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:38,830
Dad, I'm bored.
721
00:29:38,833 --> 00:29:40,039
I'm absolutely bored.
722
00:29:40,042 --> 00:29:41,698
It's all right, Cecil, darling.
723
00:29:41,708 --> 00:29:43,198
You're coming to chiselbury.
724
00:29:43,208 --> 00:29:44,785
I don't want to, dad.
725
00:29:44,792 --> 00:29:45,747
I don't like him.
726
00:29:45,750 --> 00:29:46,830
Me?
727
00:29:46,833 --> 00:29:49,948
Why should any child dislike
me, the schoolboy's friend?
728
00:29:49,958 --> 00:29:51,785
I heard the boys talking, dad.
729
00:29:51,792 --> 00:29:52,872
He's always caning them.
730
00:29:52,875 --> 00:29:55,414
Oh vile, calumny, I never
raise a hand to my boys,
731
00:29:55,417 --> 00:29:56,953
except in self defence.
732
00:29:56,958 --> 00:29:57,822
What is it wendover?
733
00:29:57,833 --> 00:29:59,865
9.30, sir, I've come for my whacks.
734
00:29:59,875 --> 00:30:00,705
There you see.
735
00:30:00,708 --> 00:30:01,663
He's talking about his modelling wax.
736
00:30:01,667 --> 00:30:03,698
He's making a little
figurine of a baa-lamb,
737
00:30:03,708 --> 00:30:04,538
aren't you lad?
738
00:30:04,542 --> 00:30:05,622
First I've heard...
739
00:30:05,625 --> 00:30:07,247
Of course he is, yes come
along lad, I'll help you.
740
00:30:07,250 --> 00:30:08,535
I'll pose for you.
741
00:30:08,542 --> 00:30:10,865
Sid, see if you can make this thing work.
742
00:30:10,875 --> 00:30:12,240
I don't want to come here, dad.
743
00:30:12,250 --> 00:30:13,660
I'm about brassed off with you.
744
00:30:13,667 --> 00:30:15,157
There's not a headmaster in
the country who will take you
745
00:30:15,167 --> 00:30:16,788
and when I find an old twister who will,
746
00:30:16,792 --> 00:30:19,206
you say, I don't wanna.
But dad, he'll bash me.
747
00:30:19,208 --> 00:30:20,785
No, he won't and I'll tell you for why.
748
00:30:20,792 --> 00:30:23,206
'Cause everybody's going to
think you're an eastern prince.
749
00:30:23,208 --> 00:30:25,206
Now he'd never dare to bash
an eastern prince would he?
750
00:30:25,208 --> 00:30:26,664
How are you going to
make them think that, dad?
751
00:30:26,667 --> 00:30:27,497
You leave it to Edwards
752
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:30,205
and your old dad's got an idea
or two of his own as well.
753
00:30:32,083 --> 00:30:33,660
Now, pay attention boys.
754
00:30:33,667 --> 00:30:38,282
I want you to listen to the
beauty of the poet's cadences.
755
00:30:38,292 --> 00:30:41,202
A garden is a lovesome thing, god wot,
756
00:30:41,208 --> 00:30:43,868
fringed plot, ferned grot...
757
00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:45,411
That's your lot.
758
00:30:46,667 --> 00:30:47,827
Thank you Mr. pettigrew.
759
00:30:49,083 --> 00:30:50,956
Don't bother to stand up.
760
00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:55,872
I see you haven't.
761
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:57,873
Some of you boys in the
lower third have the manners
762
00:30:57,875 --> 00:30:59,497
of a monkey house.
763
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:02,490
As a matter of fact, I've met
monkeys with better manners.
764
00:31:03,708 --> 00:31:06,493
It occurs to me sometimes
when I think this thing over,
765
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:08,823
there isn't a boy here who really...
766
00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:09,822
Ow!
767
00:31:09,833 --> 00:31:10,663
Oh my leg!
768
00:31:10,667 --> 00:31:11,747
Oh I do apologise, wendover.
769
00:31:11,750 --> 00:31:14,198
Did I accidentally fracture your fibia?
770
00:31:14,208 --> 00:31:15,573
Scream your blooming head off lad!
771
00:31:15,583 --> 00:31:17,827
Nobody can her you out
here in the old hut.
772
00:31:17,833 --> 00:31:20,123
I'm so sorry to
interrupt you, Mr. pettigrew.
773
00:31:20,125 --> 00:31:22,830
I have something of very
important import to impart.
774
00:31:22,833 --> 00:31:26,285
Now can anybody tell me
anything about this map?
775
00:31:26,292 --> 00:31:27,281
Please sir.
776
00:31:27,292 --> 00:31:28,281
Yes, wendover.
777
00:31:28,292 --> 00:31:30,164
It's upside down, sir.
778
00:31:33,083 --> 00:31:34,619
He's right, you know.
779
00:31:34,625 --> 00:31:37,039
Still it makes no never mind
'cause the whole blooming
780
00:31:37,042 --> 00:31:39,581
thing is in arabic and none
of us can read that can we?
781
00:31:39,583 --> 00:31:41,702
Now this is the middle east.
782
00:31:41,708 --> 00:31:43,244
So called because it comes plonk
783
00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:45,823
between the east east and the west east.
784
00:31:45,833 --> 00:31:49,160
Now here, hang on.
785
00:31:50,708 --> 00:31:55,198
Here is giwak, a small but oily state.
786
00:31:55,208 --> 00:31:57,532
I'll spell that word for you.
787
00:31:57,542 --> 00:32:02,539
Giwak, g-i-w-a-k and I've got
eyes in the back of my head!
788
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,035
That'll teach you to whisper
while my back is turned.
789
00:32:07,042 --> 00:32:08,202
Come here, boy.
790
00:32:10,667 --> 00:32:11,667
Mollins!
791
00:32:19,083 --> 00:32:20,865
You will write out 5000 times,
792
00:32:20,875 --> 00:32:23,990
I must not natter while
sir is doing his patter.
793
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Go.
794
00:32:25,917 --> 00:32:28,873
Now then, giwak is an
independent state controlled
795
00:32:28,875 --> 00:32:31,243
by a tripartite pact
between britain, Russia
796
00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:34,160
and the little old usa.
797
00:32:34,167 --> 00:32:35,743
What does tripartite mean?
798
00:32:35,750 --> 00:32:36,739
Huh?
799
00:32:36,750 --> 00:32:37,580
Any boy?
800
00:32:37,583 --> 00:32:39,240
Meaning of the word tripartite?
801
00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:42,240
And the first boy who says
three parts drunk gets flogged.
802
00:32:42,250 --> 00:32:43,285
Nobody know?
803
00:32:43,292 --> 00:32:45,785
Huh! Ignorant shower!
804
00:32:45,792 --> 00:32:48,827
Please sir, what does it mean?
805
00:32:51,583 --> 00:32:54,032
Well it means, er, tripartite,
806
00:32:54,042 --> 00:32:55,993
well we all know what tripartite means.
807
00:32:57,125 --> 00:32:59,032
Don't just stand there like
a lemon, Mr. pettigrew.
808
00:32:59,042 --> 00:33:00,498
Tell him what tripartite means.
809
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:03,331
Well it means er, a
three handed agreement.
810
00:33:04,542 --> 00:33:05,577
Oh does it?
811
00:33:05,583 --> 00:33:08,368
Well anyway, the crown prince of giwak,
812
00:33:08,375 --> 00:33:10,618
price hallid asi is coming to be educated
813
00:33:10,625 --> 00:33:12,532
at a certain school in this country.
814
00:33:12,542 --> 00:33:15,161
I'm not permitted to divulge
the name of the school
815
00:33:15,167 --> 00:33:19,411
but it begins with ch and it's
not charterhouse or cheam.
816
00:33:20,750 --> 00:33:21,830
Quiet, quiet.
817
00:33:22,792 --> 00:33:25,657
Now while he's studying
in chiselbury, in england,
818
00:33:25,667 --> 00:33:28,623
ignore that slip, he'll
be under an assumed name.
819
00:33:28,625 --> 00:33:30,407
So if a new boy should arrive here today,
820
00:33:30,417 --> 00:33:32,706
calling himself Cecil Biggs,
821
00:33:32,708 --> 00:33:35,573
I don't want you to ask him any questions.
822
00:33:37,708 --> 00:33:39,198
Now, in your letters home next Sunday,
823
00:33:39,208 --> 00:33:41,993
you must make no mention
of this exciting news
824
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,289
about prince hassid of
giwak to anyone at all.
825
00:33:44,292 --> 00:33:47,994
Either the parents or
guardians, aunts or uncles,
826
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:48,830
members of parliament,
827
00:33:48,833 --> 00:33:51,327
or publicans, or any
other influential person,
828
00:33:51,333 --> 00:33:54,494
who might pass it on to the press.
829
00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,743
I am not going to threaten you about this,
830
00:33:56,750 --> 00:34:00,994
I'm merely going to rely on
your good sense, and honour.
831
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,577
Headmaster.
832
00:34:02,583 --> 00:34:03,413
What is it, Mr. pettigrew?
833
00:34:03,417 --> 00:34:05,910
I think I had rather a
brilliant flash of deduction.
834
00:34:05,917 --> 00:34:07,123
Yeah?
835
00:34:07,125 --> 00:34:12,123
Cecil Biggs is the p-r-i-n-c-e.
836
00:34:12,167 --> 00:34:12,997
Shh!
837
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,456
You shrewd old fox.
838
00:34:14,458 --> 00:34:16,206
I knew I couldn't hoodwink you.
839
00:34:16,208 --> 00:34:18,657
Well I may look a fool headmaster but...
840
00:34:18,667 --> 00:34:20,573
No buts about it.
841
00:34:22,833 --> 00:34:26,873
Now remember, Cecil Biggs is
an ordinary unassuming new boy
842
00:34:26,875 --> 00:34:28,365
slipping quietly in...
843
00:34:29,917 --> 00:34:31,327
Crombie, go and tell
that boy outside to stop
844
00:34:31,333 --> 00:34:32,955
blowing his trumpet.
845
00:34:40,417 --> 00:34:43,248
It's not a boy trumpeting
sir, it's an elephant!
846
00:34:43,250 --> 00:34:44,740
Don't be impertinent, boy.
847
00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:46,240
Mr. pettigrew, deal with the matter.
848
00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:48,743
As I was saying, Cecil Biggs
is an ordinary unassuming
849
00:34:48,750 --> 00:34:51,073
new boy slipping quietly in...
850
00:34:51,083 --> 00:34:53,115
Headmaster, it is an elephant.
851
00:34:56,667 --> 00:34:58,448
There's a boy on top of it.
852
00:34:58,458 --> 00:35:00,240
It's coming this way.
853
00:35:01,458 --> 00:35:02,868
Class, look out!
854
00:35:05,833 --> 00:35:07,039
Come back, you fools.
855
00:35:07,042 --> 00:35:08,282
Come back!
856
00:35:08,292 --> 00:35:10,198
There's no elephant at chiselbury!
857
00:35:12,667 --> 00:35:14,830
Whoa, whoa, whoa, go back!
858
00:35:28,417 --> 00:35:29,873
So it's you!
859
00:35:29,875 --> 00:35:32,289
Well, sabu, what's the big idea?
860
00:35:32,292 --> 00:35:34,164
Dad said you wanted people
to believe I was a prince
861
00:35:34,167 --> 00:35:36,581
and he knew some chaps in the circus so...
862
00:35:36,583 --> 00:35:37,493
Hey!
863
00:35:37,500 --> 00:35:40,039
You seen an elephant pass this way?
864
00:35:40,042 --> 00:35:43,448
Why sid, you...
865
00:35:43,458 --> 00:35:45,206
Cor blimey.
866
00:35:45,208 --> 00:35:47,372
Hey, Jim, Jim Edwards!
867
00:35:47,375 --> 00:35:48,375
Jim!
868
00:35:53,208 --> 00:35:57,123
Headmaster, do try
and take a sip of this.
869
00:35:59,167 --> 00:36:02,368
Water, you trying to poison me?
870
00:36:02,375 --> 00:36:03,364
Brandy!
871
00:36:03,375 --> 00:36:04,375
Brandy!
872
00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:11,664
Don't watch her, get on with it.
873
00:36:13,583 --> 00:36:14,914
Force it between my teeth.
874
00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:17,740
Force it.
875
00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:20,323
Oh headmaster, I shouldn't
drink too much of it.
876
00:36:20,333 --> 00:36:22,411
Lady Gore Willoughby is coming.
877
00:36:22,417 --> 00:36:23,327
Lady Gore Willoughby?
878
00:36:23,333 --> 00:36:24,368
Why?
879
00:36:24,375 --> 00:36:25,831
Well you see, I thought
it my duty to inform her
880
00:36:25,833 --> 00:36:27,289
that his royal highness had arrived.
881
00:36:27,292 --> 00:36:28,452
She's coming to welcome him.
882
00:36:28,458 --> 00:36:29,698
Oh, you would.
883
00:36:29,708 --> 00:36:30,538
She mustn't see him.
884
00:36:30,542 --> 00:36:32,368
He's not alone.
885
00:36:32,375 --> 00:36:34,948
Where is the little, highness?
886
00:36:34,958 --> 00:36:36,956
He's resting in the new boys' dorm.
887
00:36:36,958 --> 00:36:38,990
He's a bright lad, headmaster.
888
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,705
Though not at all my
idea of a royal prince.
889
00:36:41,708 --> 00:36:44,328
Well, you're probably not his idea of
890
00:36:44,333 --> 00:36:45,618
an assistant headmaster,
any more than you are mine.
891
00:36:45,625 --> 00:36:48,073
Headmaster, but tell
me, why does he speak
892
00:36:48,083 --> 00:36:50,202
with such a marked cockney accent?
893
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:53,198
Well probably 'cause he
had a marked cockney nanny.
894
00:36:53,208 --> 00:36:55,623
I mean, it's all the
fashion in the far east,
895
00:36:55,625 --> 00:36:57,532
you heard of Anna and the king of siam.
896
00:36:57,542 --> 00:37:01,118
Well, this is probably flossie
and the prince of giwak.
897
00:37:01,125 --> 00:37:04,702
Oh, he's an interesting boy, headmaster.
898
00:37:04,708 --> 00:37:07,448
Do you know, he told me that
the laws of the berber religion
899
00:37:07,458 --> 00:37:11,202
forbid any man to raise a finger
against a royal personage?
900
00:37:11,208 --> 00:37:12,368
What?
901
00:37:12,375 --> 00:37:15,410
He said that if any
man did cause him hurt,
902
00:37:15,417 --> 00:37:17,865
he would have to perform an eastern custom
903
00:37:17,875 --> 00:37:20,164
known as blowing the gaff.
904
00:37:21,833 --> 00:37:24,248
He said you'd understand
what he meant by that.
905
00:37:24,250 --> 00:37:26,248
I do yeah.
906
00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:27,786
Trouble.
907
00:37:27,792 --> 00:37:29,789
Now do you new ticks
want to be on my side?
908
00:37:29,792 --> 00:37:30,656
What side, when?
909
00:37:30,667 --> 00:37:31,497
Always.
910
00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:32,330
Yes.
911
00:37:32,333 --> 00:37:33,322
Right then, I'll make you all sheiks
912
00:37:33,333 --> 00:37:34,743
and you'll have thousands of oil Wells
913
00:37:34,750 --> 00:37:35,739
and all be millionaires.
914
00:37:35,750 --> 00:37:36,580
Ooh!
915
00:37:36,583 --> 00:37:37,663
What do you have to do?
916
00:37:37,667 --> 00:37:39,448
You give me a tenner
a week starting now.
917
00:37:39,458 --> 00:37:41,622
Gosh, it's worth it.
918
00:37:41,625 --> 00:37:43,202
Millionaires.
919
00:37:43,208 --> 00:37:44,288
Are we sheiks now?
920
00:37:44,292 --> 00:37:46,740
Yeah, but I'll unsheik
you ticks in half-a-tick
921
00:37:46,750 --> 00:37:48,828
if you take anybody else's
side or grass on me.
922
00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:52,080
Is your majesty ready
to receive an audience?
923
00:37:52,083 --> 00:37:52,993
Who with?
924
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,573
The reception committee
of the lower third.
925
00:37:55,583 --> 00:37:56,413
And what do you want?
926
00:37:56,417 --> 00:37:58,615
You've got to be treated
like an ordinary new boy,
927
00:37:58,625 --> 00:37:59,705
haven't you?
928
00:37:59,708 --> 00:38:00,538
Why?
929
00:38:00,542 --> 00:38:03,373
'Cause this is a democracy
and 'cause you're a new tick.
930
00:38:03,375 --> 00:38:05,248
I'm a royal new tick
and don't you forget it.
931
00:38:05,250 --> 00:38:07,077
Oh, we haven't forgotten it.
932
00:38:07,083 --> 00:38:10,786
As well as the exam,
we're going to anoint you.
933
00:38:10,792 --> 00:38:11,747
What exam?
934
00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:13,240
Oh, it's horrible!
935
00:38:13,250 --> 00:38:14,907
You stand on your head naked!
936
00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:16,157
And sing a song.
937
00:38:16,167 --> 00:38:17,498
And they pinch you!
938
00:38:17,500 --> 00:38:18,910
And if you fall down...
939
00:38:18,917 --> 00:38:20,789
Pipe down, ticks.
940
00:38:20,792 --> 00:38:22,664
Come this way please your majesty.
941
00:38:22,667 --> 00:38:23,497
Come and get me.
942
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:25,452
Oh no this is voluntary.
943
00:38:25,458 --> 00:38:26,288
But you've got to come.
944
00:38:26,292 --> 00:38:28,660
First bloke that touches
me gets a black eye.
945
00:38:28,667 --> 00:38:30,323
Oh you need cooling down.
946
00:38:31,458 --> 00:38:33,748
You know, I think we'll anoint you first.
947
00:38:34,667 --> 00:38:36,323
None of you blokes
are going to anoint me.
948
00:38:36,333 --> 00:38:37,743
I say, don't be a twerp.
949
00:38:37,750 --> 00:38:39,452
We had to do it when we were new boys.
950
00:38:39,458 --> 00:38:40,288
Yes!
951
00:38:40,292 --> 00:38:41,122
Well I don't.
952
00:38:41,125 --> 00:38:43,157
Gentlemen, please escort his highness...
953
00:38:51,917 --> 00:38:53,493
I'm a prince!
954
00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:54,831
I'm a prince!
955
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,410
To the showers, boys!
956
00:39:02,292 --> 00:39:03,702
I'm a prince!
957
00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:05,244
I'm a prince!
958
00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:06,786
Careful with him boys.
959
00:39:06,792 --> 00:39:08,990
Remember, he's a prince!
960
00:39:10,458 --> 00:39:12,698
Boys, stop it, stop it at
once, do you hear what I say?
961
00:39:15,583 --> 00:39:17,998
As you said professor,
news is sure to get about
962
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,323
and it'll do the school no end of good.
963
00:39:20,333 --> 00:39:21,539
I've already seen to that.
964
00:39:21,542 --> 00:39:23,865
You can rest assured his highness
absolutely loves it here.
965
00:39:23,875 --> 00:39:25,953
Oh good gracious me!
966
00:39:25,958 --> 00:39:26,958
What's that?
967
00:39:31,500 --> 00:39:32,500
Boys!
968
00:39:34,167 --> 00:39:36,365
They tried to drown me!
Tell them I'm a prince.
969
00:39:36,375 --> 00:39:37,205
Oh, your highness!
970
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:40,615
Back into your kennels,
you currs, at the double!
971
00:39:40,625 --> 00:39:42,407
I've told them I'm not to
be bashed about by no one,
972
00:39:42,417 --> 00:39:43,577
it's against my religion!
973
00:39:43,583 --> 00:39:45,285
Now, now, now, how, now!
974
00:39:45,292 --> 00:39:46,122
It's all over.
975
00:39:46,125 --> 00:39:48,664
There'll be no repetition,
this is disgraceful.
976
00:39:48,667 --> 00:39:49,827
Come along with me now.
977
00:39:55,750 --> 00:39:57,948
Now then you little thugs!
978
00:39:57,958 --> 00:39:58,788
Please sir, permission to speak sir?
979
00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:02,038
Yes, wendover, for this
will be your last request.
980
00:40:02,042 --> 00:40:03,993
It was only the new ticks exam, sir.
981
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,206
You allow that.
982
00:40:05,208 --> 00:40:06,910
And he refused to cooperate sir!
983
00:40:09,167 --> 00:40:10,077
Silence!
984
00:40:10,083 --> 00:40:12,993
As from this moment, whatever
the customs and traditions
985
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,539
of the school and no matter
what the provocation,
986
00:40:15,542 --> 00:40:18,788
you will leave that little berber alone!
987
00:40:21,292 --> 00:40:22,623
Professor Edwards.
988
00:40:22,625 --> 00:40:23,990
Oh, lady Gore Willoughby.
989
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,163
This is a most inauspicious beginning.
990
00:40:26,167 --> 00:40:28,164
If your mishandling should
cause the prince to leave...
991
00:40:28,167 --> 00:40:29,031
Oh, he'll stay,
992
00:40:29,042 --> 00:40:31,119
I've got everything
under complete control.
993
00:40:31,125 --> 00:40:33,323
I hope the guilty parties
will be properly dealt with.
994
00:40:33,333 --> 00:40:36,831
From top to bottom, everyone
who set foot in that shower,
995
00:40:36,833 --> 00:40:38,118
the whole blooming shower.
996
00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:46,198
You had better start now, professor.
997
00:40:51,875 --> 00:40:53,657
Thank you, Mr. pettigrew.
998
00:40:53,667 --> 00:40:55,032
Ooh, ooh!
999
00:40:55,042 --> 00:40:55,827
Headmaster!
1000
00:40:55,833 --> 00:40:56,833
Ooh, ooh!
1001
00:41:14,083 --> 00:41:15,243
Well, how's it going?
1002
00:41:15,250 --> 00:41:16,998
How many letters home have you censored?
1003
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,702
Nearly all of them, headmaster.
1004
00:41:18,708 --> 00:41:19,697
And what do you think?
1005
00:41:19,708 --> 00:41:21,740
Not one of the little
chaps has let us down.
1006
00:41:21,750 --> 00:41:23,206
Just as I thought!
1007
00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:24,038
What did they say?
1008
00:41:24,042 --> 00:41:26,331
Nothing, not one boy
has mentioned the prince.
1009
00:41:27,292 --> 00:41:28,748
Honourable little brutes!
1010
00:41:28,750 --> 00:41:29,705
What?
1011
00:41:29,708 --> 00:41:32,077
They choose this of
all times to obey me.
1012
00:41:32,083 --> 00:41:33,243
I don't understand you headmaster.
1013
00:41:33,250 --> 00:41:35,368
I thought you didn't want
them to mention the prince.
1014
00:41:35,375 --> 00:41:36,330
You never understand anything, do you?
1015
00:41:36,333 --> 00:41:38,577
It took me five years to
teach you to play snap.
1016
00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:41,744
What is the use of having a
prince in the school if we don't
1017
00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:43,372
spread it around?
1018
00:41:43,375 --> 00:41:44,285
Where's your fountain pen?
1019
00:41:44,292 --> 00:41:45,623
It's over here, headmaster.
1020
00:41:45,625 --> 00:41:47,498
Right, now then, is it full?
1021
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:48,831
Yes, I've just filled it.
1022
00:41:48,833 --> 00:41:50,164
Good, then reopen all
the letters and add a
1023
00:41:50,167 --> 00:41:51,623
p.s. Mentioning the prince.
1024
00:41:51,625 --> 00:41:52,660
Forge?
1025
00:41:52,667 --> 00:41:56,660
No headmaster, it's dishonest,
I couldn't live with myself.
1026
00:41:56,667 --> 00:41:57,998
Who you live with it your affair.
1027
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:58,830
Come on, get cracking.
1028
00:41:58,833 --> 00:42:02,456
But there are 258
headmaster, it'll take me ages.
1029
00:42:02,458 --> 00:42:04,827
You can always make yourself
a cup of tea, can you not?
1030
00:42:04,833 --> 00:42:06,369
Come on, it's for the old school.
1031
00:42:06,375 --> 00:42:08,327
Forge ahead, forge ahead!
1032
00:42:10,375 --> 00:42:14,368
Brothers! We're gathered
here to inaugment the first
1033
00:42:14,375 --> 00:42:16,573
all boys trade union to be known as
1034
00:42:16,583 --> 00:42:18,581
the royal chiselbury protection society.
1035
00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:21,077
Now membership is voluntary
1036
00:42:21,083 --> 00:42:23,035
but I pity any bloke who don't join.
1037
00:42:25,583 --> 00:42:27,365
Now the union fees will
cost you a tenner per week
1038
00:42:27,375 --> 00:42:29,373
per head in advance, no credit.
1039
00:42:29,375 --> 00:42:30,785
What do we get out of it?
1040
00:42:30,792 --> 00:42:32,077
You get an organisation that will fight
1041
00:42:32,083 --> 00:42:33,539
the exploitation of the bosses.
1042
00:42:33,542 --> 00:42:35,493
Strange words coming from a prince.
1043
00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:37,077
That's a fat lot you know, gig lamps.
1044
00:42:37,083 --> 00:42:39,743
Who's going to be leader?
1045
00:42:39,750 --> 00:42:40,580
Well I am of course.
1046
00:42:40,583 --> 00:42:42,410
You're a new tick, you
couldn't lead the wolf cubs.
1047
00:42:42,417 --> 00:42:44,073
That's a fat lot you know.
1048
00:42:44,083 --> 00:42:44,913
Look, I got old Jim where I want him.
1049
00:42:44,917 --> 00:42:46,248
He can't whack me and he can't expel me
1050
00:42:46,250 --> 00:42:47,205
so I can do what I like with him.
1051
00:42:47,208 --> 00:42:48,368
Such as?
1052
00:42:48,375 --> 00:42:49,581
Such as getting you off work,
1053
00:42:49,583 --> 00:42:50,868
you ain't entitled to do.
1054
00:42:50,875 --> 00:42:52,873
Like building the stage for founder's day.
1055
00:42:52,875 --> 00:42:54,782
Now come on, I'll show you.
1056
00:43:03,333 --> 00:43:06,073
It's a lovely Sunday for working.
1057
00:43:16,333 --> 00:43:18,873
Tote that plank, lift that bale.
1058
00:43:18,875 --> 00:43:22,373
Hurry up, wendover, we've
got no time to lose.
1059
00:43:26,458 --> 00:43:27,664
Well, put a jerk in it.
1060
00:43:27,667 --> 00:43:29,664
I don't know what's come over you. Oh!
1061
00:43:29,667 --> 00:43:31,077
Wendover come back here.
1062
00:43:31,083 --> 00:43:32,083
Wendover!
1063
00:43:34,458 --> 00:43:36,080
Wendover, what the blazes
do you think you are?
1064
00:43:36,083 --> 00:43:37,038
A helicopter?
1065
00:43:37,042 --> 00:43:38,157
Put that plank in it's proper place
1066
00:43:38,167 --> 00:43:39,948
or I'll shatter it over your skull.
1067
00:43:42,917 --> 00:43:44,077
It isn't fair, sir.
1068
00:43:44,083 --> 00:43:44,993
What isn't fair?
1069
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,907
Why should we be made to sweat like this
1070
00:43:46,917 --> 00:43:48,327
and on a Sunday?
1071
00:43:48,333 --> 00:43:50,953
What's wrong with
carrying a few boards about?
1072
00:43:50,958 --> 00:43:52,831
After all, this is a boarding school.
1073
00:43:53,750 --> 00:43:54,750
Boarding school.
1074
00:43:55,625 --> 00:43:59,123
Laugh! Your headmaster
is being jovial with you!
1075
00:44:01,292 --> 00:44:02,748
It's still not fair, sir.
1076
00:44:02,750 --> 00:44:04,577
Why aren't that lot working?
1077
00:44:04,583 --> 00:44:05,789
I have excused them all duties.
1078
00:44:05,792 --> 00:44:07,248
On what grounds, please sir?
1079
00:44:07,250 --> 00:44:11,289
On the grounds that it's no
perishing business of yours.
1080
00:44:11,292 --> 00:44:13,706
I can't understand what's
come over you, wendover.
1081
00:44:13,708 --> 00:44:16,573
A loyal lad like you should be proud to do
1082
00:44:16,583 --> 00:44:18,331
voluntary work for founders day.
1083
00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:21,038
There's nothing voluntary
about this work, sir.
1084
00:44:21,042 --> 00:44:22,823
We were press-ganged into it.
1085
00:44:22,833 --> 00:44:23,833
Is that so?
1086
00:44:24,708 --> 00:44:25,948
Were you really?
1087
00:44:25,958 --> 00:44:28,663
Tut, tut, and again tut.
1088
00:44:28,667 --> 00:44:31,327
Well, this is indeed a
parlous state of affairs.
1089
00:44:31,333 --> 00:44:34,990
I shall have no boy here
working against his will.
1090
00:44:36,458 --> 00:44:38,577
Gather round, gentlemen please, will you?
1091
00:44:40,375 --> 00:44:42,373
Now then, my friends.
1092
00:44:42,375 --> 00:44:44,407
An allegation has been
made that some of you
1093
00:44:44,417 --> 00:44:46,164
have been forced to do this work.
1094
00:44:46,167 --> 00:44:48,706
We have!
1095
00:44:48,708 --> 00:44:51,282
This is a disgraceful state of affairs.
1096
00:44:51,292 --> 00:44:54,327
Let me assure you that
no boy need lift a finger
1097
00:44:54,333 --> 00:44:55,448
unless he really wants to.
1098
00:44:58,042 --> 00:44:59,452
Lets have a show of hands, shall we?
1099
00:44:59,458 --> 00:45:02,414
Hands up any boy who
would like to stop work,
1100
00:45:02,417 --> 00:45:04,865
have the day off and go without supper
1101
00:45:04,875 --> 00:45:05,910
for the rest of term?
1102
00:45:09,583 --> 00:45:10,993
Thank you gentlemen, I
knew I could count on
1103
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,118
your continued good will and loyalty.
1104
00:45:13,125 --> 00:45:17,289
Carry on chaps, come on, come on.
1105
00:45:17,292 --> 00:45:18,498
That wall must be built.
1106
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,785
Thanks wenders, you're
a great help these days.
1107
00:45:22,792 --> 00:45:24,368
Yeah.
1108
00:45:35,708 --> 00:45:38,328
You see what I mean? Now, do
you want to join my society?
1109
00:45:38,333 --> 00:45:40,240
Society.
1110
00:45:40,250 --> 00:45:42,248
What's next on the programme boss?
1111
00:45:42,250 --> 00:45:44,157
Well, Jim's confiscated
your pocket money
1112
00:45:44,167 --> 00:45:45,623
and locked your private
belongings, hasn't he?
1113
00:45:45,625 --> 00:45:47,823
I'll say, got 'em
stowed away in his safe.
1114
00:45:47,833 --> 00:45:49,410
How'd you like them all back again eh?
1115
00:45:49,417 --> 00:45:51,073
- Yes!
- He'd never give that up.
1116
00:45:51,083 --> 00:45:52,163
Do you wanna bet?
1117
00:45:52,167 --> 00:45:53,743
And if I get them all back,
1118
00:45:53,750 --> 00:45:55,452
membership goes up to a Bob week, right?
1119
00:45:55,458 --> 00:45:56,288
Right!
1120
00:45:56,292 --> 00:45:58,911
Right, now buzz off.
1121
00:46:19,250 --> 00:46:20,706
Never should have tried that.
1122
00:46:23,583 --> 00:46:24,618
Matron?
1123
00:46:24,625 --> 00:46:26,743
Your headmaster speaking.
1124
00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:27,785
Do you think you could
slip up to my bedroom?
1125
00:46:27,792 --> 00:46:29,493
I'd like a little massage.
1126
00:46:30,583 --> 00:46:31,583
Well really?
1127
00:46:33,250 --> 00:46:34,365
Mind like a censor.
1128
00:46:35,583 --> 00:46:37,747
These continentals, really.
1129
00:46:45,667 --> 00:46:46,497
Headmaster!
1130
00:46:46,500 --> 00:46:47,535
Oh!
1131
00:46:47,542 --> 00:46:49,032
I beg your pardon!
1132
00:46:57,958 --> 00:47:00,036
Never come in like that
when I'm in mid-swig.
1133
00:47:00,042 --> 00:47:01,122
I'm terribly sorry, headmaster.
1134
00:47:01,125 --> 00:47:02,240
I might've drowned meself.
1135
00:47:02,250 --> 00:47:03,660
Oh dear.
1136
00:47:04,583 --> 00:47:05,789
What do you want anyway?
1137
00:47:05,792 --> 00:47:07,368
I'm worried, headmaster.
1138
00:47:07,375 --> 00:47:09,373
There's an atmosphere in the school.
1139
00:47:09,375 --> 00:47:12,035
There always is when the
winds blowing from the pig farm.
1140
00:47:12,042 --> 00:47:13,248
Mind you, it's worse for the pigs,
1141
00:47:13,250 --> 00:47:14,330
when the wind's from the school.
1142
00:47:14,333 --> 00:47:16,993
No, no, I mean, there's a
sort of tension among the boys.
1143
00:47:17,833 --> 00:47:18,743
Ever since the prince came,
1144
00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:20,828
young wendover lost a lot of face.
1145
00:47:20,833 --> 00:47:22,706
With that face, it's
not much lost is it?
1146
00:47:22,708 --> 00:47:24,490
No headmaster, you
can scoff if you like.
1147
00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:27,998
But wendover's been
dangerously quiet lately.
1148
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,160
I've got forebodings.
1149
00:47:29,167 --> 00:47:31,786
I don't care how many
bodings you've got.
1150
00:47:31,792 --> 00:47:33,698
As long as that boy is quiet,
that's all I worry about.
1151
00:47:33,708 --> 00:47:35,872
But is it the quiet before the storm?
1152
00:47:36,708 --> 00:47:38,244
I fear an explosion.
1153
00:47:38,250 --> 00:47:40,077
Just the sort of thing you would say.
1154
00:47:40,083 --> 00:47:41,831
You are an old woman, really.
1155
00:47:41,833 --> 00:47:46,493
Explosion.
1156
00:47:46,500 --> 00:47:48,373
My loot, looted!
1157
00:47:48,375 --> 00:47:51,080
My beautiful safe, blown up!
1158
00:47:51,083 --> 00:47:53,498
Shattered, smashed to pieces!
1159
00:47:53,500 --> 00:47:54,910
And that's what's gonna happen to you!
1160
00:47:54,917 --> 00:47:57,782
Sir, we didn't do it, I swear!
1161
00:47:57,792 --> 00:47:59,123
What was it then? Mice?
1162
00:47:59,125 --> 00:48:00,782
Sir, the boys of the lower third
1163
00:48:00,792 --> 00:48:01,747
wouldn't blow up your safe.
1164
00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:03,748
It wouldn't be sporting.
1165
00:48:03,750 --> 00:48:04,865
No.
1166
00:48:04,875 --> 00:48:06,702
Out of your own cap you stand condemned.
1167
00:48:06,708 --> 00:48:07,663
This is your cap isn't it?
1168
00:48:07,667 --> 00:48:08,497
Yes sir.
1169
00:48:08,500 --> 00:48:09,489
But it's a frame up.
1170
00:48:09,500 --> 00:48:10,330
Do you know where this cap was found?
1171
00:48:10,333 --> 00:48:12,623
Right there amongst the smoking wreckage!
1172
00:48:12,625 --> 00:48:14,823
I don't know how my cap got there, sir.
1173
00:48:14,833 --> 00:48:17,789
We're telling the truth, for once.
1174
00:48:17,792 --> 00:48:19,869
There is only one gang in this school
1175
00:48:19,875 --> 00:48:21,206
capable of such a crime.
1176
00:48:21,208 --> 00:48:24,997
A gang, a desperately anxious
to recover loss of face,
1177
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:25,830
right, Mr. pettigrew?
1178
00:48:25,833 --> 00:48:26,822
No sir, please sir.
1179
00:48:26,833 --> 00:48:30,410
Well it's not your face
that's going to worry you now.
1180
00:48:30,417 --> 00:48:31,953
Members of the lower third.
1181
00:48:31,958 --> 00:48:33,990
After a fair trial, you
have been found guilty
1182
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,910
of this abominable and dastardly crime!
1183
00:48:36,917 --> 00:48:38,948
Have you anything to say
before I pass sentence?
1184
00:48:38,958 --> 00:48:39,788
Yes, sir.
1185
00:48:39,792 --> 00:48:41,448
Well, I don't want to hear it!
1186
00:48:41,458 --> 00:48:44,910
I have no option but to award
you the extreme penalty.
1187
00:48:44,917 --> 00:48:47,285
12 strokes of the cane each, a piece.
1188
00:48:47,292 --> 00:48:52,118
All round, in front of the entire school.
1189
00:48:52,125 --> 00:48:53,285
A full scale public flogging.
1190
00:49:05,542 --> 00:49:08,532
What are we here for, Mr. pettigrew?
1191
00:49:08,542 --> 00:49:09,748
Is it a choir practise?
1192
00:49:09,750 --> 00:49:13,407
No, Mr. dinwiddie, it's
a public castigation.
1193
00:49:13,417 --> 00:49:14,907
What?
1194
00:49:14,917 --> 00:49:16,789
A public castigation.
1195
00:49:16,792 --> 00:49:19,993
Oh, well, I'll hum
the bits I don't know.
1196
00:49:21,792 --> 00:49:24,657
By the left, quick, march!
1197
00:49:44,250 --> 00:49:47,748
Those boys? They'll never sing in tune.
1198
00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:51,706
I fear not, I can't bear to look.
1199
00:49:51,708 --> 00:49:52,743
Mm?
1200
00:49:52,750 --> 00:49:53,580
- Hey Biggs.
- Yeah?
1201
00:49:53,583 --> 00:49:55,615
A lot of chaps are turning against you.
1202
00:49:55,625 --> 00:49:57,703
Why? You may not know it
but there's a code of honour
1203
00:49:57,708 --> 00:49:58,663
in British schools.
1204
00:49:58,667 --> 00:50:00,698
You can't let other chaps get
whacked for something you did.
1205
00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:01,914
So, what am I supposed to do?
1206
00:50:01,917 --> 00:50:02,747
Own up!
1207
00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:03,750
Oh, push off!
1208
00:50:04,833 --> 00:50:06,706
I'll show them who's boss around here.
1209
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,160
Silence!
1210
00:50:19,167 --> 00:50:20,788
The next boy who opens his mouth will join
1211
00:50:20,792 --> 00:50:22,282
the celebrity panel up here.
1212
00:50:24,833 --> 00:50:25,833
That's better.
1213
00:50:26,667 --> 00:50:29,782
So stand by for the
first public chastisement
1214
00:50:29,792 --> 00:50:32,907
in chiselbury school for over 50 years.
1215
00:50:32,917 --> 00:50:34,664
Yes, yes!
1216
00:50:34,667 --> 00:50:38,073
And let us start with cherry ripe.
1217
00:50:38,917 --> 00:50:40,789
J cherry ripe, cherry ripe j
1218
00:50:40,792 --> 00:50:43,285
j ripe lcry j
1219
00:50:43,292 --> 00:50:45,039
j full and fair &
1220
00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:45,906
j come and j
1221
00:50:45,917 --> 00:50:49,368
Mr. pettigrew, please
subdue this senile Sinatra.
1222
00:50:49,375 --> 00:50:52,080
My ceremonial whacking
gloves please, matron.
1223
00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:53,493
Thank you.
1224
00:50:53,500 --> 00:50:56,365
We're all very grateful to
members of the lower third,
1225
00:50:56,375 --> 00:51:00,573
for building this splendid
founders day platform so quickly.
1226
00:51:00,583 --> 00:51:01,993
It has come in very handy.
1227
00:51:03,375 --> 00:51:06,115
Whackees, attention!
1228
00:51:06,125 --> 00:51:07,125
About turn!
1229
00:51:07,958 --> 00:51:10,498
One pace step forward, march!
1230
00:51:10,500 --> 00:51:12,248
Over-bend!
1231
00:51:12,250 --> 00:51:14,282
Mr. pettigrew, will you
kindly inspect them all
1232
00:51:14,292 --> 00:51:17,123
for any signs of any
invisible protective shields?
1233
00:51:23,250 --> 00:51:24,872
Oh you foolish boy.
1234
00:51:24,875 --> 00:51:27,368
You should've concealed it better.
1235
00:51:38,083 --> 00:51:39,083
Just a minute!
1236
00:51:46,750 --> 00:51:49,410
Get back to your seat, pacifist!
1237
00:51:51,375 --> 00:51:53,032
Well Davis, you certainly
dropped a clanger there,
1238
00:51:53,042 --> 00:51:53,872
didn't you, boy?
1239
00:51:53,875 --> 00:51:55,365
One extra for you for that!
1240
00:51:56,250 --> 00:51:59,657
And six more for any boy
who does not produce padding
1241
00:51:59,667 --> 00:52:01,032
within three seconds.
1242
00:52:09,625 --> 00:52:10,455
Wendover.
1243
00:52:10,458 --> 00:52:11,288
Yes sir?
1244
00:52:11,292 --> 00:52:13,410
I see you're suffering
from the popular malady
1245
00:52:13,417 --> 00:52:15,073
of the slipped disc.
1246
00:52:15,083 --> 00:52:18,039
This one was certainly at
the bottom of the hit parade,
1247
00:52:18,042 --> 00:52:19,042
was it not?
1248
00:52:20,292 --> 00:52:21,498
It's unbreakable sir.
1249
00:52:23,042 --> 00:52:26,077
You are not, as will
be demonstrated to you
1250
00:52:26,083 --> 00:52:27,118
in a few moments.
1251
00:52:38,542 --> 00:52:40,831
Yes, I thought that would shake you all.
1252
00:52:40,833 --> 00:52:43,202
I'm using the great new detergent,
1253
00:52:43,208 --> 00:52:44,698
the five seater model.
1254
00:52:44,708 --> 00:52:47,448
Beats as it sweeps as it hurts.
1255
00:52:48,750 --> 00:52:51,243
Out of it number two, steady number one,
1256
00:52:51,250 --> 00:52:54,081
out of it number three,
number four out a bit
1257
00:52:55,292 --> 00:52:56,623
little bit more, teensy,
1258
00:52:56,625 --> 00:53:00,910
number five out a bit, are
you receiving me number five?
1259
00:53:00,917 --> 00:53:01,747
Ow!
1260
00:53:01,750 --> 00:53:03,498
Yes, Roger.
1261
00:53:10,667 --> 00:53:12,990
We are innocent!
1262
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,365
They didn't do it!
1263
00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:15,285
Bend over boy!
1264
00:53:15,292 --> 00:53:18,327
You can scrub right round
the captain Dreyfus stuff.
1265
00:53:18,333 --> 00:53:19,664
If you lay a finger on us...
1266
00:53:19,667 --> 00:53:22,407
It should be obvious to you
by now, you dim witted child,
1267
00:53:22,417 --> 00:53:24,073
that I am not going to
lay a finger on you.
1268
00:53:24,083 --> 00:53:26,623
I'm warning you sir,
if you try to whack us,
1269
00:53:26,625 --> 00:53:28,081
we'll have a revolution.
1270
00:53:28,083 --> 00:53:29,740
We'll start a sit down strike.
1271
00:53:29,750 --> 00:53:32,039
When my strike is finished,
you won't be able to sit down
1272
00:53:32,042 --> 00:53:34,827
for months, if ever, now
get back to your place!
1273
00:53:34,833 --> 00:53:38,490
Now, once more into the breeches!
1274
00:54:09,375 --> 00:54:11,453
Who the devil are you, sir?
1275
00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:12,868
Uh, uh.
1276
00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:14,411
Don't you threaten me.
1277
00:54:14,417 --> 00:54:15,702
You're trespassing so there can be
1278
00:54:15,708 --> 00:54:17,285
no question of compensation.
1279
00:54:17,292 --> 00:54:19,740
Pettigrew, take that away!
1280
00:54:23,875 --> 00:54:25,081
I don't know what you're talking about.
1281
00:54:25,083 --> 00:54:26,539
My name is garrick Jones.
1282
00:54:26,542 --> 00:54:27,372
I'm from the foreign office
1283
00:54:27,375 --> 00:54:29,248
and I have urgent business
with the headmaster.
1284
00:54:29,250 --> 00:54:31,573
Oh, welcome to chiselbury, sir.
1285
00:54:31,583 --> 00:54:33,873
You find us rehearsing our little pageant.
1286
00:54:33,875 --> 00:54:37,578
I'm boadacea, come with
me, remove my chariot!
1287
00:54:37,583 --> 00:54:39,331
Gracious, foreign office?
1288
00:54:39,333 --> 00:54:40,448
Foreign office?
1289
00:54:40,458 --> 00:54:43,078
Oh yes, I expect he's
come to check up on how our
1290
00:54:43,083 --> 00:54:44,740
young prince is getting on.
1291
00:54:44,750 --> 00:54:45,990
Oh.
1292
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:47,952
Now, Edwards, the foreign
office has received very
1293
00:54:47,958 --> 00:54:51,205
disturbing news relevant to
prince hassid Ali of giwak.
1294
00:54:51,208 --> 00:54:53,748
Oh, I knew I'd never get away with it.
1295
00:54:53,750 --> 00:54:55,993
What I have to say will
come as a tremendous shock
1296
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,748
to you as it did all of us.
1297
00:54:57,750 --> 00:54:59,913
Look, Mr. pettigrew
forged all those ps's,
1298
00:54:59,917 --> 00:55:00,747
I can prove it.
1299
00:55:00,750 --> 00:55:02,782
I have no time for your irrelevancies.
1300
00:55:02,792 --> 00:55:06,865
I have to inform you that our
of 495 British public schools,
1301
00:55:06,875 --> 00:55:10,327
yours has been chosen to take
prince hassid Ali of giwak.
1302
00:55:10,333 --> 00:55:11,823
So the rumour got around to..
1303
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:17,452
What? You mean the son
of the oil merchant?
1304
00:55:17,458 --> 00:55:20,032
Yes, his royal highness
is coming to chiselbury.
1305
00:55:20,042 --> 00:55:20,906
Coming here?
1306
00:55:20,917 --> 00:55:23,622
Only because it was
unanimously decided that this was
1307
00:55:23,625 --> 00:55:25,743
the last place anyone
would voluntarily send
1308
00:55:25,750 --> 00:55:27,407
a boy to be educated.
1309
00:55:27,417 --> 00:55:29,448
I'm not among you, elucidate me.
1310
00:55:29,458 --> 00:55:31,160
No one in their senses
would think of looking
1311
00:55:31,167 --> 00:55:32,327
for the boy here.
1312
00:55:32,333 --> 00:55:34,702
His uncle, the prime minister,
is violently anti-west
1313
00:55:34,708 --> 00:55:37,282
and greatly opposed to his
coming to school in england.
1314
00:55:37,292 --> 00:55:38,247
Out goes Biggs anyway.
1315
00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:40,664
If his whereabouts were
discovered, we fear trouble.
1316
00:55:40,667 --> 00:55:42,448
An attempt might be made to abduct him
1317
00:55:42,458 --> 00:55:44,365
and send him to a school in Moscow.
1318
00:55:44,375 --> 00:55:47,206
I shall therefore bring
his highness here tonight,
1319
00:55:47,208 --> 00:55:48,573
after dark.
1320
00:55:48,583 --> 00:55:51,493
He will come as an ordinary
new boy, in the name of Allen.
1321
00:55:51,500 --> 00:55:52,330
Allen.
1322
00:55:52,333 --> 00:55:54,160
I must impress on you, professor.
1323
00:55:54,167 --> 00:55:55,823
Nobody but you must know about this.
1324
00:55:55,833 --> 00:55:57,740
Complete secrecy is essential.
1325
00:55:57,750 --> 00:55:58,865
I shall see you later.
1326
00:56:07,625 --> 00:56:10,410
This is something
really worth celebrating.
1327
00:56:10,417 --> 00:56:13,122
A real prince at chiselbury.
1328
00:56:13,125 --> 00:56:16,577
I shall get rid of Biggs tomorrow.
1329
00:56:16,583 --> 00:56:18,490
Here's to you, Jim me lad!
1330
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,000
Ah!
1331
00:56:22,917 --> 00:56:27,407
For services rendered, sir James Edwards.
1332
00:56:27,417 --> 00:56:31,456
No, no, no, no, baron Jim of
mortlake in the breweries.
1333
00:56:32,375 --> 00:56:34,407
Headmaster, headmaster.
1334
00:56:34,417 --> 00:56:36,910
Those boys, wendover and the
others, they've disappeared.
1335
00:56:36,917 --> 00:56:39,331
Forget them, don't flinch old friend.
1336
00:56:39,333 --> 00:56:40,288
It's an amnesty.
1337
00:56:40,292 --> 00:56:42,073
Tell them the whackings are cancelled.
1338
00:56:42,083 --> 00:56:43,368
Oh headmaster, I'm so glad.
1339
00:56:43,375 --> 00:56:45,077
You look exalted.
1340
00:56:45,083 --> 00:56:47,115
Was it good news from the foreign office?
1341
00:56:47,125 --> 00:56:50,913
That is a secret between me
and her majesty's government.
1342
00:56:50,917 --> 00:56:52,493
Leave me, vassell.
1343
00:56:54,958 --> 00:56:56,323
Goodnight, your highness.
1344
00:56:57,458 --> 00:56:58,948
Goodnight, professor.
1345
00:56:58,958 --> 00:57:00,580
Goodnight.
1346
00:57:00,583 --> 00:57:01,823
Well,
1347
00:57:04,625 --> 00:57:07,615
I never got further than
Algiers during the war.
1348
00:57:07,625 --> 00:57:08,625
Imshee, chop chop.
1349
00:57:11,875 --> 00:57:16,160
Big white chif take dusky
neighbour up to his wigwam
1350
00:57:16,167 --> 00:57:17,993
for a little ol" shut eye.
1351
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:19,160
How?
1352
00:57:19,167 --> 00:57:21,581
Thank you sir, I am a little tired.
1353
00:57:21,583 --> 00:57:23,615
I would like to retire.
1354
00:57:23,625 --> 00:57:27,328
Oh yousprechen die,
er, english, velly good!
1355
00:57:28,792 --> 00:57:30,248
Up here then.
1356
00:57:32,208 --> 00:57:35,323
What's he got in here, gold?
1357
00:57:35,333 --> 00:57:38,448
Up the apples!
1358
00:57:43,542 --> 00:57:48,539
Well here you are, this
is the new boys dormitory,
1359
00:57:48,750 --> 00:57:50,498
that's where his highness will be.
1360
00:57:50,500 --> 00:57:51,956
It's too risky, supposing it's true,
1361
00:57:51,958 --> 00:57:53,706
mi5 have been tipped off about us.
1362
00:57:53,708 --> 00:57:55,198
If you work fast, he can be on my plane
1363
00:57:55,208 --> 00:57:56,243
before anybody realises what's happened.
1364
00:57:56,250 --> 00:57:57,786
What if the boy kicks up a fuss?
1365
00:57:57,792 --> 00:57:59,413
Then use force.
1366
00:57:59,417 --> 00:58:00,873
It's for his highness' good.
1367
00:58:00,875 --> 00:58:02,160
He must learn that his
country's future lies
1368
00:58:02,167 --> 00:58:03,498
with the eastern block.
1369
00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:05,948
Get on, they will all be asleep now.
1370
00:58:09,792 --> 00:58:11,248
And of course if there
is any special food
1371
00:58:11,250 --> 00:58:12,827
that your worship has
grown grown accustomed to,
1372
00:58:12,833 --> 00:58:14,785
you know like buffalo or pelican,
1373
00:58:15,708 --> 00:58:17,490
expect I can get it from
the home and colonial.
1374
00:58:17,500 --> 00:58:20,039
I will eat whatever
the other boys eat, sir.
1375
00:58:20,042 --> 00:58:21,618
What suicidal gallantry.
1376
00:58:21,625 --> 00:58:25,493
And please sir, I wish to be
treated like an ordinary boy.
1377
00:58:25,500 --> 00:58:27,618
Not on your oriental Nelly.
1378
00:58:27,625 --> 00:58:29,623
I know which side my bread's buttered.
1379
00:58:29,625 --> 00:58:32,456
Quietly from here, because
the other boys will be asleep.
1380
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,000
In there.
1381
00:58:41,625 --> 00:58:42,625
What the?
1382
00:58:43,833 --> 00:58:46,202
But it isn't bath night
for another three weeks.
1383
00:58:48,625 --> 00:58:50,115
That's Cecil Biggs' bed.
1384
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:54,955
You have this bed and wait here.
1385
00:58:54,958 --> 00:58:55,993
Yes sir.
1386
00:59:12,292 --> 00:59:14,785
I'm so sorry, headmaster.
1387
00:59:14,792 --> 00:59:16,077
Mr. pettigrew, will you
look where you're going?
1388
00:59:16,083 --> 00:59:17,323
Headmaster, I've been
looking for you everywhere,
1389
00:59:17,333 --> 00:59:18,448
the boys are revolting.
1390
00:59:18,458 --> 00:59:19,823
Have you been at this
this school for ten years
1391
00:59:19,833 --> 00:59:20,663
and only just discovered that?
1392
00:59:20,667 --> 00:59:22,123
No, no, no, I mean they're rioting.
1393
00:59:22,125 --> 00:59:23,702
They've captured Cecil Biggs.
1394
00:59:23,708 --> 00:59:24,538
Who has?
1395
00:59:24,542 --> 00:59:25,372
Wendover and the rest.
1396
00:59:25,375 --> 00:59:27,032
Masses of them, out there.
1397
00:59:30,375 --> 00:59:31,375
Attention!
1398
00:59:44,333 --> 00:59:45,368
What's this?
1399
00:59:45,375 --> 00:59:46,865
That's what I came to
tell you, headmaster.
1400
00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:48,240
It looks like a revolution.
1401
00:59:48,250 --> 00:59:49,740
But didn't you tell
them about the amnesty?
1402
00:59:49,750 --> 00:59:50,660
We never found them.
1403
00:59:50,667 --> 00:59:54,490
Then it's off, heads will roll for this!
1404
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:58,573
To your firing stations, men!
1405
01:00:19,458 --> 01:00:21,622
Testing water, water on!
1406
01:00:24,667 --> 01:00:25,998
Okay for water!
1407
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,206
Water off!
1408
01:00:27,208 --> 01:00:29,702
Hey you, these are the egg bombs.
1409
01:00:29,708 --> 01:00:31,872
The ones marked with a
cross are hard boiled.
1410
01:00:31,875 --> 01:00:32,955
The others, raw.
1411
01:00:32,958 --> 01:00:34,073
Righto.
1412
01:00:34,083 --> 01:00:36,623
No pointed arrows will be
issued without express orders
1413
01:00:36,625 --> 01:00:39,118
from the chief of staff,
and use these sparingly.
1414
01:00:41,083 --> 01:00:42,083
Hey!
1415
01:00:42,833 --> 01:00:44,039
Black up well, chaps.
1416
01:00:44,042 --> 01:00:46,702
The commandos may well play a vital role.
1417
01:00:46,708 --> 01:00:47,948
Glad to be back with you wenders.
1418
01:00:47,958 --> 01:00:49,740
So you should be.
1419
01:00:49,750 --> 01:00:53,994
Ah, how's our royal captive today?
1420
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,573
Guard, one false move from
him and let him have it.
1421
01:00:58,042 --> 01:00:59,698
Chaps, gather round!
1422
01:01:04,667 --> 01:01:07,035
Now listen everybody, this isn't a game.
1423
01:01:07,042 --> 01:01:08,202
It's war!
1424
01:01:08,208 --> 01:01:10,702
We don't want our school
run by Cecil Biggs,
1425
01:01:10,708 --> 01:01:11,993
even if he is a prince.
1426
01:01:17,292 --> 01:01:20,538
Jim may let him do what he
likes but we're not going to.
1427
01:01:20,542 --> 01:01:22,619
So we shall hold this
building until the parents
1428
01:01:22,625 --> 01:01:25,365
and governors arrive
tomorrow for the founders day
1429
01:01:25,375 --> 01:01:28,080
and then we shall insist upon a new deal.
1430
01:01:28,083 --> 01:01:30,993
So fight like Hades, men, and remember,
1431
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,998
that right is on our side!
1432
01:01:36,208 --> 01:01:40,077
J where is the spot we
will love til we die j
1433
01:01:40,083 --> 01:01:41,740
j chiselbury, chiselbury j
1434
01:01:41,750 --> 01:01:43,993
j hear ourcry j
1435
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:47,948
j there may be rot if
we're telling a lie &
1436
01:01:47,958 --> 01:01:49,740
j chiselbury, chiselbury j
1437
01:01:49,750 --> 01:01:51,993
j hear ourcry j
1438
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:55,498
j gaudeamus, naught can harm us j
1439
01:01:55,500 --> 01:01:56,330
j juvenentum &
1440
01:01:56,333 --> 01:01:57,333
stop!
1441
01:01:58,750 --> 01:02:01,410
Enemy approach, Jim and Potters.
1442
01:02:02,250 --> 01:02:03,740
J in their nighties or pyjamas j
1443
01:02:03,750 --> 01:02:06,706
j Jim his silent watch will keep j
1444
01:02:06,708 --> 01:02:09,413
oh dear, they do sound a bit well, er.
1445
01:02:09,417 --> 01:02:10,953
They'll be singing in a higher key
1446
01:02:10,958 --> 01:02:12,956
when I've finished with them.
Now leave the talking to me.
1447
01:02:12,958 --> 01:02:15,327
I know how to handle wendover.
1448
01:02:15,333 --> 01:02:16,333
Hold your fire.
1449
01:02:18,958 --> 01:02:20,198
Leave the talking to me!
1450
01:02:20,208 --> 01:02:22,828
I know how to handle Jim.
1451
01:02:22,833 --> 01:02:25,538
Now chaps, what say
we declare an amnesty
1452
01:02:25,542 --> 01:02:27,573
on all whackings, eh?
1453
01:02:27,583 --> 01:02:30,956
And if you've got any grievances,
well let's iron them out.
1454
01:02:30,958 --> 01:02:32,580
Chap to chap, eh chaps?
1455
01:02:36,333 --> 01:02:38,411
Next the honour of the school.
1456
01:02:38,417 --> 01:02:42,240
Now, lads, think of the
honour of the dear old school.
1457
01:02:42,250 --> 01:02:45,497
We don't want to let chiselbury
down like this, do we?
1458
01:02:46,458 --> 01:02:49,493
Dear old chiselbury,
that we all love so well.
1459
01:02:50,625 --> 01:02:52,577
Chaps, I come in peace.
1460
01:02:52,583 --> 01:02:53,993
I'm your friend.
1461
01:02:57,500 --> 01:02:58,785
Now the threats.
1462
01:02:58,792 --> 01:03:00,823
Once and for all.
1463
01:03:00,833 --> 01:03:03,407
If you don't open this blasted
door, I'll annihilate you.
1464
01:03:03,417 --> 01:03:05,580
I'll obliterate you.
1465
01:03:05,583 --> 01:03:07,331
I'll wipe you off the face of the earth.
1466
01:03:07,333 --> 01:03:10,706
And now he takes it
out on Mr. pettigrew.
1467
01:03:10,708 --> 01:03:13,123
I blame you for this!
1468
01:03:13,125 --> 01:03:14,114
Me, headmaster?
1469
01:03:14,125 --> 01:03:15,285
Do something about it.
1470
01:03:15,292 --> 01:03:18,123
Don't just stand there with
your great dome shining
1471
01:03:18,125 --> 01:03:20,493
in the moonlight like St.
Paul's cathedral on a wet night.
1472
01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:21,410
Do something!
1473
01:03:21,417 --> 01:03:22,748
Do what?
1474
01:03:22,750 --> 01:03:24,240
Well, break the door down.
1475
01:03:24,250 --> 01:03:25,080
What with?
1476
01:03:25,083 --> 01:03:25,913
You've got a shoulder, haven't you?
1477
01:03:25,917 --> 01:03:28,285
It's not much of one, headmaster.
1478
01:03:28,292 --> 01:03:29,828
Yours is much bigger.
1479
01:03:29,833 --> 01:03:31,369
Is this mutiny, Mr. pettigrew?
1480
01:03:31,375 --> 01:03:32,740
Perhaps you'd rather be
behind the door with the boys,
1481
01:03:32,750 --> 01:03:33,580
would you?
1482
01:03:33,583 --> 01:03:35,873
Oh yes, come over to us, mr pettigrew.
1483
01:03:35,875 --> 01:03:37,577
We've nothing against you.
1484
01:03:41,458 --> 01:03:45,115
So we're courting cheap
popularity are we now, eh?
1485
01:03:45,125 --> 01:03:47,539
Oliver pettigrew, force's favourite.
1486
01:03:47,542 --> 01:03:48,702
All right, go on, desert me.
1487
01:03:48,708 --> 01:03:50,581
Oh never headmaster.
1488
01:03:50,583 --> 01:03:51,447
I'll do it.
1489
01:03:51,458 --> 01:03:53,240
I'll break down that door.
1490
01:04:04,750 --> 01:04:07,118
Mind you don't knock the
whole ruddy building over.
1491
01:04:07,125 --> 01:04:08,581
Put some meat behind it!
1492
01:04:09,458 --> 01:04:11,702
Oh, take a run at it then.
1493
01:04:11,708 --> 01:04:13,490
Be a proper juggernaut.
1494
01:04:13,500 --> 01:04:14,535
Don't do it, Mr. pettigrew!
1495
01:04:14,542 --> 01:04:19,157
For your own sake, or
something terrible will happen!
1496
01:04:19,167 --> 01:04:20,623
Headmaster, did you hear that?
1497
01:04:20,625 --> 01:04:21,910
When wendover threatens...
1498
01:04:21,917 --> 01:04:25,163
Why you Lily livered jelly fish.
1499
01:04:25,167 --> 01:04:28,032
Why you great lump of liquid lard.
1500
01:04:28,042 --> 01:04:30,907
You, you drip on a stick.
1501
01:04:30,917 --> 01:04:31,917
Out of my way.
1502
01:04:41,208 --> 01:04:44,073
Oh headmaster, are you all right?
1503
01:04:44,083 --> 01:04:45,448
Do I look all right?
1504
01:04:45,458 --> 01:04:47,240
I might have dislocated my clavicle.
1505
01:04:47,250 --> 01:04:48,872
I'll break, oh!
1506
01:04:48,875 --> 01:04:50,035
Oh!
1507
01:05:03,125 --> 01:05:05,698
Oh that was very naughty!
1508
01:05:05,708 --> 01:05:09,748
All right, wendover,
when retribution comes,
1509
01:05:09,750 --> 01:05:12,323
remember it was you who
struck the first blow!
1510
01:05:12,333 --> 01:05:15,073
Now boys, what can you possibly gain
1511
01:05:15,083 --> 01:05:16,660
by locking yourselves in there?
1512
01:05:16,667 --> 01:05:18,414
We'll tell that to the parents
1513
01:05:18,417 --> 01:05:19,827
and governors tomorrow, sir.
1514
01:05:20,833 --> 01:05:22,073
What do they mean?
1515
01:05:22,083 --> 01:05:25,244
Now look here, wendover,
I'll do a deal with you.
1516
01:05:25,250 --> 01:05:29,118
Sorry sir, we've lost all
our faith in your deals.
1517
01:05:29,125 --> 01:05:32,407
Now look here wendover,
I give you just 30 seconds.
1518
01:05:32,417 --> 01:05:33,417
30 seconds.
1519
01:05:36,167 --> 01:05:37,868
Hasn't anybody got a watch that works?
1520
01:05:42,792 --> 01:05:43,907
Keep it up!
1521
01:05:58,542 --> 01:06:00,865
I tell ya, that's the room.
1522
01:06:00,875 --> 01:06:03,414
You're right, well let's get going.
1523
01:06:03,417 --> 01:06:04,953
Come on.
1524
01:06:22,542 --> 01:06:24,243
Right gentlemen, no smoking please
1525
01:06:24,250 --> 01:06:26,413
and if you must cough, please cough now
1526
01:06:26,417 --> 01:06:27,873
and not during my briefing.
1527
01:06:29,375 --> 01:06:31,248
Trust you, Mr. colbourne.
1528
01:06:31,250 --> 01:06:33,368
I'm still watching you, you know?
1529
01:06:33,375 --> 01:06:35,823
Well now, gentlemen, our campaign.
1530
01:06:35,833 --> 01:06:37,490
Hey, hey, hey, who's been
mucking about with my plan?
1531
01:06:37,500 --> 01:06:39,618
It was I, headmaster.
1532
01:06:39,625 --> 01:06:40,956
Annihilation, you spelt it wrong.
1533
01:06:40,958 --> 01:06:43,743
Merely to confuse the
enemy, Mr. hackforth.
1534
01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:46,323
I shall brook no interference
from junior officers.
1535
01:06:46,333 --> 01:06:49,535
On the cheese board of
strategy, you are but a prawn.
1536
01:06:50,833 --> 01:06:52,997
Now gentlemen, the campaign.
1537
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:55,573
Hello, he's off again.
1538
01:06:55,583 --> 01:06:57,581
What does he do at night?
1539
01:06:57,583 --> 01:07:00,865
Dinwiddie! I'm about to
explain my operation!
1540
01:07:00,875 --> 01:07:03,865
Oh nothing too serious, I hope!
1541
01:07:04,875 --> 01:07:06,993
My intention is to
mount a surprise attack
1542
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:08,748
by means of these smoke bombs here.
1543
01:07:14,875 --> 01:07:16,285
You're late, Mr. pettigrew.
1544
01:07:16,292 --> 01:07:17,372
Where have you been?
1545
01:07:17,375 --> 01:07:19,538
You sent me on patrol, headmaster.
1546
01:07:19,542 --> 01:07:20,372
Quite right, so I did.
1547
01:07:20,375 --> 01:07:21,205
I peeped through their window.
1548
01:07:21,208 --> 01:07:22,163
How very daring of you.
1549
01:07:22,167 --> 01:07:23,452
What did you find out?
1550
01:07:23,458 --> 01:07:24,618
Well I couldn't see very much,
1551
01:07:24,625 --> 01:07:26,327
the place was thick with smoke.
1552
01:07:26,333 --> 01:07:27,243
What already?
1553
01:07:27,250 --> 01:07:28,998
It will be smokier soon.
1554
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:30,206
How do you account for this?
1555
01:07:30,208 --> 01:07:31,744
They threw flour at me.
1556
01:07:31,750 --> 01:07:33,407
Bless my soul, we'd all been thinking
1557
01:07:33,417 --> 01:07:35,956
you had blown down your sherbet dab.
1558
01:07:35,958 --> 01:07:37,414
Dust yourself off you old fool,
1559
01:07:37,417 --> 01:07:38,782
while I get on with my briefing.
1560
01:07:38,792 --> 01:07:40,328
Now this is the tuckshop here.
1561
01:07:40,333 --> 01:07:43,038
Now the diversionary attack,
hackforth and dinwiddie,
1562
01:07:43,042 --> 01:07:45,119
will be from here but the main attack,
1563
01:07:45,125 --> 01:07:49,198
hamley and colbourne will be
from here with the smoke bombs.
1564
01:07:49,208 --> 01:07:50,744
Should this attack fail,
1565
01:07:50,750 --> 01:07:53,243
it may mean a costly frontal assault.
1566
01:07:53,250 --> 01:07:55,448
But this attack will not fail gentlemen,
1567
01:07:55,458 --> 01:07:57,490
because these smoke bombs are of
1568
01:07:57,500 --> 01:08:00,615
a particularly vicious and strong nature,
1569
01:08:00,625 --> 01:08:03,456
and will soon drive them
out of their positions.
1570
01:08:03,458 --> 01:08:06,573
Now the essence of an attack
with smoke bombs is surprise.
1571
01:08:06,583 --> 01:08:11,118
Merciless, unmitigated,
overwhelming and complete surprise.
1572
01:08:27,292 --> 01:08:29,039
Stop rescuing me you old fool!
1573
01:08:29,042 --> 01:08:29,872
I must go back.
1574
01:08:29,875 --> 01:08:31,577
No, no, headmaster, you'll suffocate!
1575
01:08:31,583 --> 01:08:33,285
I must rescue the booze!
1576
01:08:36,250 --> 01:08:39,532
Red group to hq, headmasters
study captured intact.
1577
01:08:39,542 --> 01:08:40,952
Main telephone lines cut.
1578
01:08:40,958 --> 01:08:42,990
Main telephone lines cut as instructed.
1579
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:45,448
Good work men, I'll
join you outside shortly.
1580
01:08:45,458 --> 01:08:47,748
Meanwhile, leave crombie in possession.
1581
01:08:47,750 --> 01:08:51,202
Other forces to second
objective, over and out!
1582
01:08:51,208 --> 01:08:52,448
Oh headmaster.
1583
01:08:52,458 --> 01:08:55,414
I do believe I can see boys in there.
1584
01:08:55,417 --> 01:08:57,243
What? Rubbish!
1585
01:08:57,250 --> 01:08:58,250
They'd never dare!
1586
01:09:03,708 --> 01:09:04,708
Oh headmaster!
1587
01:09:08,125 --> 01:09:09,747
You little rats!
1588
01:09:09,750 --> 01:09:11,577
You're caught in there
like rats in a trap.
1589
01:09:13,708 --> 01:09:15,907
Right, roebuck, you stop
here and guard the door.
1590
01:09:15,917 --> 01:09:17,948
Polbrooke, you go round the
outside and guard the window.
1591
01:09:17,958 --> 01:09:18,788
That's trapped some of them.
1592
01:09:18,792 --> 01:09:21,035
Oh headmaster, is that
wise with so few of us?
1593
01:09:21,042 --> 01:09:22,914
Jim's captain, don't argue!
1594
01:09:22,917 --> 01:09:23,827
The rest of you follow me.
1595
01:09:23,833 --> 01:09:25,410
We'll set up hq in my bedroom.
1596
01:09:28,292 --> 01:09:30,740
Oh I don't know, it's fantastic,
all the rooms are empty.
1597
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:32,452
There's not a boy to be seen anywhere.
1598
01:09:32,458 --> 01:09:33,288
Here, what happened?
1599
01:09:33,292 --> 01:09:34,122
I knew it.
1600
01:09:34,125 --> 01:09:35,535
Mi5 have been tipped off,
let's get out of here.
1601
01:09:35,542 --> 01:09:37,243
That boy wendover is going to find out
1602
01:09:37,250 --> 01:09:38,530
that I'm not to be trifled with.
1603
01:09:38,792 --> 01:09:40,672
He's started something
now that he can't finish.
1604
01:09:49,458 --> 01:09:52,785
Red group to hq, bedroom
seized, according to plan.
1605
01:09:52,792 --> 01:09:53,872
Roger and out.
1606
01:09:55,417 --> 01:09:57,414
I don't know what they need it for
1607
01:09:57,417 --> 01:09:59,323
but that should fix it.
1608
01:09:59,333 --> 01:10:00,333
Come on.
1609
01:10:19,625 --> 01:10:21,035
Oh, oh my back!
1610
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:23,989
What happened?
1611
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:25,456
How do I know what happened?
1612
01:10:25,458 --> 01:10:26,914
Maybe..
1613
01:10:26,917 --> 01:10:28,077
Here, someone's coming.
1614
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:30,240
Over there, quick, go on!
1615
01:10:41,250 --> 01:10:42,080
What is it?
1616
01:10:42,083 --> 01:10:44,115
Two masters crept into the boothole.
1617
01:10:44,125 --> 01:10:45,240
Chuck this in.
1618
01:10:45,250 --> 01:10:48,748
Thunderflash, that should rout 'em out.
1619
01:10:51,500 --> 01:10:55,573
Here, let's have a smoke
til everything's quiet.
1620
01:11:07,250 --> 01:11:08,285
Know your part, Mr. pettigrew?
1621
01:11:08,292 --> 01:11:10,615
Yes, I think so headmaster
but I don't like it.
1622
01:11:10,625 --> 01:11:11,956
It's underhanded.
1623
01:11:11,958 --> 01:11:13,580
Beautifully underhanded.
1624
01:11:13,583 --> 01:11:14,447
That's splendid.
1625
01:11:14,458 --> 01:11:16,206
Nice and tight around
the legs, Mr. hamley.
1626
01:11:16,208 --> 01:11:17,323
No granny knots.
1627
01:11:17,333 --> 01:11:20,073
Headmaster, supposing they
start throwing things again?
1628
01:11:20,083 --> 01:11:21,368
Well use that.
1629
01:11:21,375 --> 01:11:22,205
Oh may I?
1630
01:11:22,208 --> 01:11:23,163
Why yes, of course.
1631
01:11:23,167 --> 01:11:26,539
Belonged to our only war
hero, gentlemen, tj figgins.
1632
01:11:26,542 --> 01:11:30,285
Shot in 1943 for high treason.
1633
01:11:30,292 --> 01:11:32,831
Once inside, gentlemen, I
want you to act really tough,
1634
01:11:32,833 --> 01:11:35,032
then they'll collapse
like a pack of ninepins.
1635
01:11:35,042 --> 01:11:36,042
Come on.
1636
01:11:37,208 --> 01:11:39,623
Why didn't you remind me I was tied up?
1637
01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:52,785
Well, if you're not burglars,
1638
01:11:52,792 --> 01:11:53,747
what were you doing on the ladder then?
1639
01:11:53,750 --> 01:11:55,081
Never you mind, just
you let us get out of here
1640
01:11:55,083 --> 01:11:56,831
or it'll be the worse for you.
1641
01:12:00,250 --> 01:12:01,080
Hey wenders!
1642
01:12:01,083 --> 01:12:02,083
Yes?
1643
01:12:03,083 --> 01:12:05,373
We've captured a couple of
strangers, burglars I think.
1644
01:12:05,375 --> 01:12:08,285
Oh lummy, we'll have to
hold them here for a bit.
1645
01:12:08,292 --> 01:12:12,080
All spare forces on to
the roof at the double.
1646
01:12:15,167 --> 01:12:16,743
What the hell do we do?
1647
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:18,828
Get loose and get out of this mad house.
1648
01:12:20,208 --> 01:12:23,198
Bring your searchlights into
their forward positions, men.
1649
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,414
This will be a masterstroke.
1650
01:12:39,417 --> 01:12:41,448
Wendover is bound to swallow this.
1651
01:12:45,708 --> 01:12:47,615
You traitorous masters.
1652
01:12:47,625 --> 01:12:51,123
I'll have you all reported to
the county education officer.
1653
01:12:54,875 --> 01:12:56,827
Boys, can you hear me?
1654
01:12:56,833 --> 01:12:59,407
Yes, Mr. pettigrew, we can hear you.
1655
01:12:59,417 --> 01:13:01,956
We have turned against the headmaster.
1656
01:13:01,958 --> 01:13:06,910
We wish to join you, as an
expression of our good faith,
1657
01:13:08,667 --> 01:13:09,998
we want to hand him over to you
1658
01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:12,493
and throw ourselves on your mercy.
1659
01:13:12,500 --> 01:13:14,327
Well done, Mr. pettigrew.
1660
01:13:14,333 --> 01:13:17,414
Three cheers boys for Mr.
Pettigrew and the staff.
1661
01:13:17,417 --> 01:13:18,247
Hip hip!
1662
01:13:18,250 --> 01:13:20,248
Hooray!
1663
01:13:20,250 --> 01:13:21,114
Hip hip!
1664
01:13:21,125 --> 01:13:23,123
Hooray!
1665
01:13:23,125 --> 01:13:24,114
Hip hip!
1666
01:13:24,125 --> 01:13:25,365
Hooray!
1667
01:13:26,875 --> 01:13:29,956
Hip hip hooray, they fell for it.
1668
01:13:29,958 --> 01:13:31,323
Talk about strategy.
1669
01:13:31,333 --> 01:13:34,706
Move over monty, go on petters, go on.
1670
01:13:34,708 --> 01:13:37,869
Boys, then will you let us in?
1671
01:13:37,875 --> 01:13:41,373
Bring him in sir, we'll open the doors.
1672
01:13:41,375 --> 01:13:42,831
Now!
1673
01:13:57,958 --> 01:14:00,202
Number one artillery barrage.
1674
01:14:00,208 --> 01:14:01,208
Fire!
1675
01:14:24,583 --> 01:14:25,583
Here, catch!
1676
01:14:35,625 --> 01:14:39,282
Save me, oh save me, you rotten funks.
1677
01:14:39,292 --> 01:14:40,702
Save me!
1678
01:14:40,708 --> 01:14:42,998
Save me, save old Jim!
1679
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:44,907
A squadron, take off!
1680
01:14:57,125 --> 01:14:59,744
Save me, oh save me.
1681
01:14:59,750 --> 01:15:02,073
Cowards, all of you.
1682
01:15:02,083 --> 01:15:03,083
Cowards!
1683
01:15:07,167 --> 01:15:08,282
Dive down on Jim, quick!
1684
01:15:09,292 --> 01:15:10,292
Now on petters, quick!
1685
01:15:11,417 --> 01:15:12,417
Oh!
1686
01:15:14,708 --> 01:15:16,456
Come on, keep it going!
1687
01:15:18,542 --> 01:15:19,622
Headmaster.
1688
01:15:23,208 --> 01:15:24,698
Lovely shot!
1689
01:15:24,708 --> 01:15:27,248
Come on, keep them going around.
1690
01:15:27,250 --> 01:15:28,660
Oliver, Oliver,
1691
01:15:31,250 --> 01:15:35,198
you brave bald headed old clot!
1692
01:15:35,208 --> 01:15:37,286
I knew I could rely on you.
1693
01:15:39,292 --> 01:15:41,740
I had to come headmaster.
1694
01:15:42,833 --> 01:15:45,282
Why be so blasted long about it?
1695
01:15:45,292 --> 01:15:46,868
Dive down on Jim and petters.
1696
01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:47,875
That's it.
1697
01:15:50,625 --> 01:15:51,740
You've got such short arms.
1698
01:15:51,750 --> 01:15:52,750
Oh, oh!
1699
01:15:55,833 --> 01:15:56,833
Oh!
1700
01:16:03,750 --> 01:16:04,750
Pax!
1701
01:16:05,792 --> 01:16:06,622
Oh!
1702
01:16:06,625 --> 01:16:07,705
Please, please, stand back everybody.
1703
01:16:07,708 --> 01:16:09,198
I've had enough!
1704
01:16:10,250 --> 01:16:11,872
Pax!
1705
01:16:11,875 --> 01:16:14,956
Wendover, call off your air quadrons.
1706
01:16:21,333 --> 01:16:25,407
Call off air attack
number one commando action.
1707
01:16:29,375 --> 01:16:33,118
Roebuck, hackforth, go
out there, scare 'em off!
1708
01:16:33,125 --> 01:16:34,581
Watch out!
1709
01:16:34,583 --> 01:16:35,583
School!
1710
01:16:37,417 --> 01:16:38,532
School!
1711
01:16:38,542 --> 01:16:41,948
Too late, commandos
return to base, lights out.
1712
01:16:51,292 --> 01:16:52,292
Come on!
1713
01:16:54,958 --> 01:16:57,282
We missed Jim but we got Mr. pettigrew.
1714
01:16:57,292 --> 01:17:00,282
Hard luck chaps, it
was a near thing though.
1715
01:17:00,292 --> 01:17:01,327
Where is pettigrew?
1716
01:17:02,250 --> 01:17:06,164
Pettigrew, they've got pettigrew!
1717
01:17:10,125 --> 01:17:12,956
This time you've gone too far, wendover.
1718
01:17:14,500 --> 01:17:19,498
Now cry havoc and let
loose the dogs of war.
1719
01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:21,000
Come on.
1720
01:17:22,542 --> 01:17:24,619
Now boys, you really are being pickles.
1721
01:17:24,625 --> 01:17:26,327
This borders on disobedience.
1722
01:17:26,333 --> 01:17:28,285
Don't worry Mr. pettigrew.
1723
01:17:28,292 --> 01:17:29,828
Come and sit down.
1724
01:17:29,833 --> 01:17:32,743
Guard, fetch Mr. pettigrew
a cup of tea immediately.
1725
01:17:32,750 --> 01:17:33,580
Thank you.
1726
01:17:33,583 --> 01:17:35,747
Chaps we must prepare
for an all out attack.
1727
01:17:38,708 --> 01:17:41,032
Oh, your highness.
1728
01:17:41,042 --> 01:17:43,365
Are you a master in this zoo?
1729
01:17:43,375 --> 01:17:44,455
Yes, I'm so sorry.
1730
01:17:44,458 --> 01:17:46,622
Untie our hands quick
before that guard comes back.
1731
01:17:46,625 --> 01:17:49,285
Those boys, I do apologise.
1732
01:17:49,292 --> 01:17:52,157
If you don't want to land
in jail, you'll do it quick.
1733
01:17:52,167 --> 01:17:53,407
Get a move on.
1734
01:17:58,583 --> 01:18:02,498
Come on you lazy dogs,
put some life into it.
1735
01:18:02,500 --> 01:18:05,073
Telegraph squad, halt!
1736
01:18:06,083 --> 01:18:07,083
Let's line you up.
1737
01:18:09,208 --> 01:18:11,286
Right a bit at the back.
1738
01:18:11,292 --> 01:18:12,657
Down a bit at the front.
1739
01:18:12,667 --> 01:18:13,952
Hold it at that.
1740
01:18:13,958 --> 01:18:14,788
Whoa, whoa.
1741
01:18:14,792 --> 01:18:16,368
Oh do please hurry, headmaster,
it's so dreadfully heavy.
1742
01:18:16,375 --> 01:18:17,865
Back to you place, weakling.
1743
01:18:19,542 --> 01:18:21,910
Now gentlemen, at the
end of the countdown,
1744
01:18:21,917 --> 01:18:24,456
I want you to charge and
batter down the door.
1745
01:18:24,458 --> 01:18:27,740
Once inside, lay about you with a will
1746
01:18:27,750 --> 01:18:29,286
your first objective is wendover.
1747
01:18:29,292 --> 01:18:32,327
If you can get Mr. pettigrew
so much the better.
1748
01:18:32,333 --> 01:18:34,873
10, nine, eight and a half.
1749
01:18:40,250 --> 01:18:41,490
Quiet, quiet!
1750
01:18:42,958 --> 01:18:44,323
Don't panic men.
1751
01:18:44,333 --> 01:18:45,743
Back to your posts!
1752
01:18:47,875 --> 01:18:48,705
Now's our chance.
1753
01:18:48,708 --> 01:18:49,538
Let's get out of here.
1754
01:18:49,542 --> 01:18:50,827
We're mis, you'd better come with us.
1755
01:18:50,833 --> 01:18:52,039
His highness.
1756
01:18:57,917 --> 01:19:00,456
Now, gee up, go on!
1757
01:19:04,708 --> 01:19:05,788
Ow!
1758
01:19:05,792 --> 01:19:08,748
Oh I do beg your pardon.
1759
01:19:08,750 --> 01:19:10,498
Pardon? You nearly murdered me.
1760
01:19:10,500 --> 01:19:11,865
What the blazes are you playing at?
1761
01:19:11,875 --> 01:19:13,907
Get this out of here,
you idiot! Get this out!
1762
01:19:13,917 --> 01:19:17,032
Gentlemen extract the pole
for lady Gore Willoughby's car.
1763
01:19:17,042 --> 01:19:17,872
What's happening here?
1764
01:19:17,875 --> 01:19:19,993
I heard the most terrible
noises from my house.
1765
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:22,243
Bombs, explosions. I couldn't
get you on the telephone
1766
01:19:22,250 --> 01:19:23,535
so I dashed straight over.
1767
01:19:23,542 --> 01:19:24,702
What is going on?
1768
01:19:24,708 --> 01:19:26,535
It's a cadet exercise.
1769
01:19:26,542 --> 01:19:27,873
Night manoeuvres, yes that's it.
1770
01:19:27,875 --> 01:19:30,615
Nothing for you to worry your
pretty little head about,
1771
01:19:30,625 --> 01:19:31,910
lady Gore blimey!
1772
01:19:31,917 --> 01:19:32,917
What's that?
1773
01:19:36,458 --> 01:19:38,410
Gerrick Jones, what's he doing here?
1774
01:19:39,792 --> 01:19:41,202
The prince, where is he?
1775
01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:43,286
Well, he's up in the new
boys dormitory, what on earth...
1776
01:19:43,292 --> 01:19:45,039
Are you sure? We've
just got a tip from mi5,
1777
01:19:45,042 --> 01:19:46,868
there's a plot to kidnap him tonight.
1778
01:19:46,875 --> 01:19:48,365
Are you quite sure he's
in the dormitory, sir?
1779
01:19:48,375 --> 01:19:50,077
I took him up there myself,
1780
01:19:50,083 --> 01:19:51,448
he's getting his royal head down.
1781
01:19:51,458 --> 01:19:52,868
We may be in time,
take us to him quickly.
1782
01:19:52,875 --> 01:19:57,119
It's this way, first flight
of stairs on the right.
1783
01:20:01,917 --> 01:20:02,747
What's happening out there?
1784
01:20:02,750 --> 01:20:05,410
I don't know, keep watch
and I'll go find out.
1785
01:20:09,083 --> 01:20:10,414
There he is, fast asleep.
1786
01:20:12,083 --> 01:20:13,493
Prince.
1787
01:20:13,500 --> 01:20:14,500
Your highness?
1788
01:20:17,250 --> 01:20:18,285
Well he was here.
1789
01:20:19,250 --> 01:20:20,250
Prince.
1790
01:20:21,042 --> 01:20:22,993
Sir, an aircraft has just taken off from
1791
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:25,448
that old aircraft the
other side of the village.
1792
01:20:25,458 --> 01:20:27,331
Three men were seen driving
up to it with a boy.
1793
01:20:27,333 --> 01:20:28,163
We shall never catch 'em now,
1794
01:20:28,167 --> 01:20:29,993
we shall have to contact
whitehall, the raf.
1795
01:20:31,333 --> 01:20:34,740
Of all the incompetent,
bungling, idiotic.
1796
01:20:34,750 --> 01:20:38,327
You were told to guard him
carefully, this is the end.
1797
01:20:40,167 --> 01:20:40,997
Well, lady Gore Willoughby,
1798
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:42,240
there is nothing for me to say.
1799
01:20:42,250 --> 01:20:44,664
You will receive my
resignation in the morning.
1800
01:20:48,250 --> 01:20:50,077
Pettigrew, where have you been?
1801
01:20:50,083 --> 01:20:51,163
What's been going on?
1802
01:20:51,167 --> 01:20:52,788
Speak to me, you silly old fool.
1803
01:20:52,792 --> 01:20:54,743
Say something, answer me!
1804
01:20:54,750 --> 01:20:56,286
Professor, really!
1805
01:20:56,292 --> 01:20:58,369
Oh, headmaster, the prince.
1806
01:20:58,375 --> 01:20:59,455
They've taken the prince!
1807
01:20:59,458 --> 01:21:00,288
Who have?
1808
01:21:00,292 --> 01:21:02,369
Those two men, they said they were mi5.
1809
01:21:02,375 --> 01:21:04,743
They asked me which boy was the
prince and when I told them,
1810
01:21:04,750 --> 01:21:07,289
they tied me up and they took him away!
1811
01:21:07,292 --> 01:21:08,202
Excuse me sir.
1812
01:21:08,208 --> 01:21:09,573
Not now, boy I'm far too busy.
1813
01:21:09,583 --> 01:21:10,993
Sir, what is going on?
1814
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:13,705
It's simply that the
prince has been captured.
1815
01:21:13,708 --> 01:21:15,244
So you've escaped!
1816
01:21:15,250 --> 01:21:16,285
Escaped?
1817
01:21:16,292 --> 01:21:19,743
Sorry sir, I sneaked out to
watch the fireworks display.
1818
01:21:19,750 --> 01:21:20,865
Well, then who did they kidnap?
1819
01:21:20,875 --> 01:21:23,073
I keep telling you
headmaster, the prince,
1820
01:21:23,083 --> 01:21:24,414
it was all my fault!
1821
01:21:24,417 --> 01:21:26,164
Oh poor little Cecil Biggs.
1822
01:21:26,167 --> 01:21:29,032
Cecil Biggs!
1823
01:21:29,042 --> 01:21:31,952
They kidnapped Cecil Biggs,
they've kidnapped Cecil Biggs.
1824
01:21:31,958 --> 01:21:32,788
Have you gone mad?
1825
01:21:32,792 --> 01:21:35,115
By heavens Edwards, you're in for a..
1826
01:21:35,125 --> 01:21:36,160
Your highness.
1827
01:21:36,167 --> 01:21:37,373
Who?
1828
01:21:37,375 --> 01:21:39,032
Lady Gore Willoughby,
let me present to you,
1829
01:21:39,042 --> 01:21:41,410
his royal highness, prince
hassid Ali of giwak.
1830
01:21:41,417 --> 01:21:42,623
But.
1831
01:21:42,625 --> 01:21:43,831
What's been going on here?
1832
01:21:43,833 --> 01:21:45,410
Who's the boy in the plane?
1833
01:21:45,417 --> 01:21:46,247
A decoy.
1834
01:21:46,250 --> 01:21:48,955
Our little plan worked, eh Mr. pettigrew?
1835
01:21:48,958 --> 01:21:49,868
What plan?
1836
01:21:49,875 --> 01:21:51,331
He's still a little bit woozy you know?
1837
01:21:51,333 --> 01:21:55,157
Try and remember it as I tell it to you.
1838
01:21:55,167 --> 01:21:56,532
You see I deliberately put it round
1839
01:21:56,542 --> 01:21:59,657
that a certain boy called
Cecil Biggs was the prince.
1840
01:21:59,667 --> 01:22:01,539
I had a shrewd idea
that something like this
1841
01:22:01,542 --> 01:22:02,577
would happen, you know.
1842
01:22:02,583 --> 01:22:04,285
Edwards, that was pretty clever.
1843
01:22:04,292 --> 01:22:05,407
Pretty clever.
1844
01:22:05,417 --> 01:22:07,831
For the spur of the moment,
it was ruddy marvellous.
1845
01:22:07,833 --> 01:22:09,952
But headmaster if Cecil
Biggs wasn't the prince,
1846
01:22:09,958 --> 01:22:10,958
why was it that he...
1847
01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:57,831
Before we sign this
incorporated peace treaty
1848
01:22:57,833 --> 01:23:01,410
and new deal, I shall read
out the heads of agreement
1849
01:23:01,417 --> 01:23:03,990
so that we have quite clear
in our minds the details
1850
01:23:04,000 --> 01:23:07,327
of this momentous instrument to
1851
01:23:07,333 --> 01:23:10,865
which we shall have
appended our signatures.
1852
01:23:15,458 --> 01:23:20,244
Number one, reprisals, forgetting of.
1853
01:23:21,333 --> 01:23:23,873
Number two, pocket money, freeing of.
1854
01:23:24,792 --> 01:23:28,831
Number three, whacking, rationing of.
1855
01:23:30,333 --> 01:23:33,956
Number four, grub, increasing of.
1856
01:23:35,042 --> 01:23:38,910
Number five, manual labour, abolishing of.
1857
01:23:39,917 --> 01:23:43,493
Number six, favouritism, elimination of.
1858
01:23:43,500 --> 01:23:44,615
Satisfied?
1859
01:23:44,625 --> 01:23:45,831
Smashing, sir!
1860
01:23:45,833 --> 01:23:47,039
Very well.
1861
01:23:48,958 --> 01:23:50,368
Peace in our term.
1862
01:23:59,625 --> 01:24:00,865
Hooray!
1863
01:24:01,750 --> 01:24:02,910
Hold it sir!
1864
01:24:04,083 --> 01:24:06,115
You splodge your cross there, wendover.
1865
01:24:07,125 --> 01:24:08,365
Hooray!
1866
01:24:10,958 --> 01:24:13,373
Now, let's get back to normal.
1867
01:24:14,625 --> 01:24:15,455
Oh no, sir!
1868
01:24:15,458 --> 01:24:16,288
That's not fair.
1869
01:24:16,292 --> 01:24:18,243
There's nothing in
here about disarmament.
1870
01:24:20,042 --> 01:24:22,490
Back to your kennels, dogs, go on!
1871
01:24:24,583 --> 01:24:25,948
Thank you, gentlemen.
1872
01:24:27,000 --> 01:24:31,535
You carried that off
splendidly, masterly, headmaster.
1873
01:24:31,542 --> 01:24:33,448
Thank you.
1874
01:24:33,458 --> 01:24:37,161
Who was it who said the cane
is mightier than the pen?
1875
01:24:37,167 --> 01:24:39,581
- You headmaster.
- Oh yes, yes.
1876
01:24:39,583 --> 01:24:41,827
- At speech day.
- Oh yes, yes.
1877
01:24:41,833 --> 01:24:43,581
For the last five years.
1878
01:24:46,542 --> 01:24:50,244
I feel somehow like Mr.
Gladstone must have felt
1879
01:24:51,083 --> 01:24:53,161
when he invented his famous bag,
1880
01:24:53,167 --> 01:24:55,244
or Wellington his famous boot.
1881
01:24:55,250 --> 01:24:58,577
It's at times like this, that
I want to seek inspiration
1882
01:24:58,583 --> 01:25:01,448
from my old friend, the
late, great, Julius Caesar.
1883
01:25:03,167 --> 01:25:05,365
Oh headmaster, I forgot to tell you,
1884
01:25:05,375 --> 01:25:08,873
50 new applications
from prospective pupils.
1885
01:25:08,875 --> 01:25:10,623
We really have won through, haven't we?
1886
01:25:10,625 --> 01:25:11,990
What do you mean, we?
1887
01:25:13,208 --> 01:25:14,664
What have you done?
1888
01:25:14,667 --> 01:25:16,539
If it hadn't been for, if I hadn't...
1889
01:25:16,542 --> 01:25:17,657
Yeah?
1890
01:25:17,667 --> 01:25:18,497
Nothing.
1891
01:25:18,500 --> 01:25:22,203
Exactly, so don't try
horning in on my rewards.
1892
01:25:24,333 --> 01:25:25,333
Come in!
1893
01:25:29,375 --> 01:25:30,535
Yes boy?
1894
01:25:30,542 --> 01:25:32,831
Please sir, I have come
to give you a little present
1895
01:25:32,833 --> 01:25:33,697
from my country.
1896
01:25:33,708 --> 01:25:35,244
Present, what is it?
1897
01:25:35,250 --> 01:25:36,872
An old giwakian treasure chest, sir.
1898
01:25:36,875 --> 01:25:38,623
Treasure? Oh you shouldn't have.
1899
01:25:38,625 --> 01:25:40,948
But sir, it is made on one condition.
1900
01:25:40,958 --> 01:25:41,788
What's that?
1901
01:25:41,792 --> 01:25:44,452
That in future, I am
treated like an ordinary boy.
1902
01:25:44,458 --> 01:25:47,990
I want to be just like
wendover and all the rest.
1903
01:25:48,000 --> 01:25:51,532
Like wendover? What an
extraordinary ambition!
1904
01:25:51,542 --> 01:25:53,956
Still if that's the
way you want it my boy,
1905
01:25:53,958 --> 01:25:55,706
that's the way you shall have it.
1906
01:25:55,708 --> 01:25:57,706
You are just an ordinary boy.
1907
01:25:57,708 --> 01:25:59,952
Wendover Mark two.
1908
01:25:59,958 --> 01:26:01,118
Thank you, sir.
1909
01:26:01,125 --> 01:26:02,331
That is nice.
1910
01:26:02,333 --> 01:26:06,452
Now I feel free and it is good.
1911
01:26:06,458 --> 01:26:09,198
Barmy, I'm glad they
have me something more than
1912
01:26:09,208 --> 01:26:11,407
this rotten old horse brass here.
1913
01:26:11,417 --> 01:26:13,073
Thieving hands off!
1914
01:26:13,083 --> 01:26:15,247
This is Jim's treasure.
1915
01:26:19,875 --> 01:26:21,782
Oh what happened? My moustache!
1916
01:26:21,792 --> 01:26:22,792
My moustache!
1917
01:26:24,875 --> 01:26:27,118
Semi-detashed!
1918
01:26:29,625 --> 01:26:32,410
Oh headmaster!
1919
01:26:49,792 --> 01:26:54,282
J where is the spot we
will love til we die j
1920
01:26:54,292 --> 01:26:57,373
j chiselbury, chiselbury j
1921
01:26:57,375 --> 01:27:01,163
j there may we rot if
we're telling a lie &
1922
01:27:01,167 --> 01:27:05,497
j chiselbury here the cry j
1923
01:27:05,500 --> 01:27:07,036
> omnia omnia j
1924
01:27:07,042 --> 01:27:08,823
j Willy nilly here we are j
1925
01:27:08,833 --> 01:27:09,953
j here we cram dreary damn j
1926
01:27:11,333 --> 01:27:12,869
j Latin prep ad nauseam j
1927
01:27:12,875 --> 01:27:14,577
j floreat floreat j
1928
01:27:14,583 --> 01:27:16,581
j you're going to be jolly well sorry at j
1929
01:27:16,583 --> 01:27:22,448
j chiselbury, chiselbury j
1930
01:27:22,458 --> 01:27:24,490
j up the school j
1931
01:27:24,500 --> 01:27:30,157
j chiselbury, chiselbury j
1932
01:27:30,167 --> 01:27:32,827
j up the school j
129826
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