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0
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- * So I saw you turn from me... *
- Dean! 400 quid, by tomorrow.
1
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Well, then, lend me the money!
2
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,878
Oh, yeah, nice(!) I like that.
So it all becomes my fault.
3
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:16,876
- What about your mother?
- That's not happening.
4
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,751
Oh, come on!
5
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,633
She might lend you 400 quid
if you promise to stay away!
6
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,193
Dean!
7
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,674
(* SLOW CLUB: Suffering You, Suffering Me)
8
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* You say a week at leastfor you to clear your mind
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*And how I felt so sick the whole time
10
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:49,118
*And I was so sure that I was specialand you'd be kind
11
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:55,669
*And now I see you watch others go by
12
00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:04,119
* Now where will I wander?
13
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:09,109
* Will time wash away or will I suffer?
14
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* Suffering you
15
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,397
* Suffering me
16
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,671
* You came to me in truth
17
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* But as a liar you'll leave... *
18
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:25,994
(COUGHS)
19
00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:32,229
*... And in a year from nowI wonder if I'll find
20
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:37,149
* The thoughts of you have passed me by
21
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,156
* Or will we stay for ever
22
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:47,352
* Neither of us feeling better? *
23
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,675
(MONITOR BEEPS SLOWLY)
24
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:53,669
(BEEPS SPEED UP)
25
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,751
(FLATLINES)
26
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,353
*... Suffering you
27
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,675
* You came to me in truth
28
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* But as a liar you'll leave. *
29
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Banana.
30
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,190
(WHISPERS) Dean. So?
31
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,834
Oh... my... God!
32
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,671
It's literally a chastity belt. They used
to wear 'em in the 12th century.
33
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,109
The challenge is,
I've got to keep it on for two weeks!
34
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,470
Bloody hell, Dean.
What if you get a hard-on? What happens?
35
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,112
It can snap. Like celery.
36
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,559
That's a nice knob, Dean.
37
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,999
Thank you very much.
38
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,029
So how's it work?
39
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,878
Well, only one man holds the key,
and he lives in Bristol.
40
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,797
Apparently he wears it
on a chain round his neck,
41
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,037
like the Dungeon Master. He's got
the keys of 57 boys, jangling away.
42
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,550
Apparently, if you have wet dreams,
you can literally die of agony.
43
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,751
I had a dream last night about Jack
and Finn, and I mean Jack with Finn.
44
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,270
The pain was just fantastic.
45
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,709
- So you can still piss?
- Well, of course I can, don't be stupid.
46
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,273
- There's a tube and everything.
- Can I touch it?
47
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,309
Oh, you wish!
48
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,115
That's more than enough for you, Mr Best.
49
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,798
Come on, back to work, chop chop!
50
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:35,919
See ya!
51
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,833
And stop looking!
52
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,273
(TEXT ALERT)
53
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,512
No way!
54
00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:19,510
Scotty! I need your toolbox. Now!
55
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,795
- Did I tell you I've seen her again?
- Uh-uh.
56
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,114
Honestly, Dean, she's gorgeous.
57
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,435
Every time I look at her,
I'm all like... shiver!
58
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,913
Have you spoken to her?
59
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,997
No, I just see her every Tuesday
in the Co-op.
60
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,433
I think her name's Yvonne. All I know
for definite is, it begins with a Y.
61
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,438
Right. Well, hide that. And if
Mr Jayasundera asks where I am,
62
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,993
tell him I went to the annexe. See ya!
63
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,349
(* THE SHOES: Time To Dance)
64
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,719
* Hey, brother, get up, check the wings
65
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,639
* Do what I do, it's what I feel
66
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,910
* Up to the sun, it won't be long
67
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,919
*And now it's time for you to run
68
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,791
*And then it's time to dance... *
69
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,314
- (SONG STOPS)
- (SEDATE PIANO MUSIC)
70
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,113
(SONG RESTARTS)
71
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,676
* Hey, sister, come and kick the world
72
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,314
* The world is yoursUp to you, girl
73
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:33,148
*It was so fun, you feel so strong
74
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,749
*And now it's time for you to burn
75
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,870
*And then it's time to dance
76
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:43,948
* T-I-M-E T-O D-A-N-C-E... *
77
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,074
You're not 25.
78
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,270
I'm 19, is that OK?
79
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,557
It's almost 25.
It's close enough, isn't it?
80
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:57,874
And I bet your name's not Angel.
81
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,436
I was Angel. For a year.
It didn't work. I'm Dean.
82
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,119
I've only got 40 minutes
then I've got to go to a meeting.
83
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,798
I just thought, with this view...
84
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,559
I want to fuck
with the whole of Manchester watching.
85
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,033
OK!
86
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,514
- Right, then.
- Great.
87
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:24,594
- Oh, fantastic!
- Yeah.
88
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,674
Oh! Wait, wait!
89
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,075
Oh, oh! Ahh!
90
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,079
That was nice.
91
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,911
- Sorry.
- It's OK.
92
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,952
You're just so hot, still...
never mind.
93
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,558
Happens to all of us.
94
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:03,919
Not to me.
95
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:06,753
Do you want me to finish you off?
96
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,231
Not working, is it?
97
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,233
I knew you'd be a Geordie.
98
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,793
Good.
99
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,400
OK, '"Dean, how did you know
he was gonna be a Geordie? '"
100
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,398
Well, that wasn't just a random for me.
It was like a miracle,
101
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,000
you saying hello, cos I've had
you as a favourite for ages.
102
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,874
I first saw you when your photo had
bright, blond, spiky hair. When was that?
103
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,035
Six months ago?
104
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,036
That's... three years ago.
105
00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,514
Well, I thought, '"He's nice.'"
So I made you a favourite,
106
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,278
but I never said hello,
in case you blocked me.
107
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,072
And then I used to look at you every day
and it was fascinating,
108
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,192
cos most of the time your profile
says you were 125 miles away,
109
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,878
but every fortnight,
all of a sudden,
110
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,833
you're like 5,000 feet away. Every two
weeks I'm like, '"Here he is, he's back! '"
111
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,111
Cos I figured it out, I thought,
I bet he comes here on business,
112
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,993
and then, I knew you'd be a Geordie
cos I looked it up on the map.
113
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,917
I measured 125 miles,
with a compass,
114
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,996
not with an actual compass,
but, you know, same effect.
115
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,669
And 125 miles from Manchester
means either Newcastle, Gloucester
116
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,792
or some little town on the A69
called Haltwhistle, and look!
117
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:34,072
Here you are, a Geordie,
just like I said. Can I see you again?
118
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,473
Absolutely not.
119
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:40,349
If you charged ten quid to every person
that you've shown your cock to today,
120
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,153
you'd have the rent money by now.
Up to Easter!
121
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:47,876
That would be like prostitution, Freddie.
You shock me. Bye, then.
122
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,911
(SIGHS)
123
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,030
Hello, stranger.
124
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,753
Oh! Hello, Dean! That's funny.
125
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,518
- Are you stalking me, Mr Best?
- No.
126
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,557
Cos all this was offices,
but they never finished the conversion,
127
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,670
we haven't even got a cooker,
just a microwave.
128
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,392
Do you want a coffee?
129
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,396
Yeah, thanks. Just white, thanks.
130
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,313
I lived in a flat, after university.
Not as big as this, but...
131
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,511
Three of us.
We'd shag anything that moved.
132
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,437
Oh, that's dirty, coming from you.
133
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,755
Yeah. I miss being dirty.
134
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,392
- Doesn't suit you.
- Doesn't it?
135
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,591
- No.
- Well, there you go.
136
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,677
So this is ã400 each
and there's two of you?
137
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,314
It's 800 a month,
plus 200 for electricity.
138
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,510
And we're online cos Freddie
bought a mobile router.
139
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,118
ã800, though, that's not bad.
140
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:36,912
Is there any sort of rent book?
141
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,359
Not that I know of.
142
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,992
Freddie said they might be
laundering the money.
143
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,838
I don't really know what that means.
Can you lend me 20 quid?
144
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,713
Oh! Right. Erm... Yeah...
145
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,716
No, there, I knew that would be
embarrassing -
146
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,352
that's Freddie, he told me to ask you.
147
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,356
- Sorry.
- Fine, don't worry. Have it.
148
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,630
Take it, no need to pay me back.
149
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,028
That's brilliant. Thank you.
150
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,310
Could you lend me 100?
151
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,797
I don't think that's appropriate.
152
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,956
- No.
- Sorry.
153
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,149
No, honestly.
154
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,474
Can I keep that?
155
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,351
Yeah, yeah, yes.
156
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,469
Thanks.
157
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,280
You must have someone else
you could ask.
158
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:19,279
I mean, have you got?
Is there Mum and Dad, or?
159
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,992
I did have.
My dad died when I was little.
160
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,156
Then Mum took up with this bloke
called Trevor,
161
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,350
and he was all right,
he was nice, we got on.
162
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,231
But then he went on my computer.
163
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,635
This was about a year ago.
164
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,399
Then it all kicked off.
My mum was crying and he was shouting,
165
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,795
he was coming out with, '"God made Adam
and Eve,'" and all that shit, you know.
166
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:35,955
Jesus.
167
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,116
I know. And I said,
'"Well, I'm not gonna change.'"
168
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,674
And he said, '"You fucking well are,'"
like he was gonna punch my face in,
169
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,995
and I just stood there
cos I wasn't gonna back down,
170
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,235
but then my mother said, like,
'"You're no son of mine.
171
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,794
And I said, '"OK'". But then she said,
'"Trevor,'" and he stood up,
172
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,479
and he got all my stuff,
put it in boxes and put it out the front.
173
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:51,839
And that was it, they said, '"Get out.
174
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,871
'"Right now. Get out the house.'"
175
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,917
And that was the last time I saw 'em.
176
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,159
Did you say no sugar?
177
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,269
(MICROWAVE WHIRS)
178
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,474
(MICROWAVE BEEPS)
179
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,352
(RAUCOUS MUSIC)
180
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,590
(MUTED MUSIC
SEEPS FROM HEADPHONES)
181
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,439
What?
182
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,471
Sell that, you'd get 50 quid.
183
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,238
It's not mine, it's Karl's.
184
00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,636
Thing is,
I've only been here three weeks.
185
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,511
I can just pack my bags and go.
186
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,755
Cos we've got a landlord
who's a gangster.
187
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,473
If you can't pay your rent on time,
he'll break your neck.
188
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,751
And that's fine with me,
I'll just go and get a room at Vicky's.
189
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,155
Yeah, well, Vicky's not gonna shag you
when you're bored, is she?
190
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,475
For all of 30 seconds.
191
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:18,637
Oh, fuck off. That was your fault.
You were too...
192
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,791
...vigorous.
- I was speaking to Sam at work
193
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,717
and he says he had you at Christmas.
194
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,716
He said that lasted 30 seconds too.
195
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:26,875
Have you been talking about me?
196
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,638
Obviously.
197
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:33,310
Just fuck off! Really, really fuck off.
Fuck right off.
198
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:34,952
Fuck off.
199
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,278
Fuck off means go.
200
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,958
But can't you ask your mother?
201
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,197
I mean, 400 quid,
one-off payment, just once?
202
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,196
I told you.
She never wants to see me again.
203
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,514
Yeah, but you could try.
204
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,757
It's all right for you with your
nice mum and dad. Seriously, I can't!
205
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,756
She's got that thug
standing next to her.
206
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,030
Literally, he said, '"If you come near our
house again, I'll kick your head in.'"
207
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,071
And he meant it,
he was right in my face,
208
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,270
he was, like, furious.
He grabbed hold of me...
209
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,038
Is any of this true?
210
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,548
- You do exaggerate.
- He threw me out!
211
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,192
- Did he, though?
- My God, you're a cunt!
212
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,229
Yeah.
213
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:14,430
You know, I just keep thinking...
my friend Syma,
214
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,833
she got thrown out of home.
215
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,440
Exactly the same as you.
Dad went on her computer,
216
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,835
'"Oh, my God, my daughter's a pervert.'"
All that.
217
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,838
Indian family, only child,
my God, it was massive.
218
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:24,995
Well, that's like me.
219
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,871
Yeah, anyway, she packed up her stuff,
she said,
220
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,276
'"I'm not staying here,'"
and she carried it all out,
221
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,356
and her mum's shouting,
her dad's shouting,
222
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,630
they're all like, '"Shame, disgrace,'"
223
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:38,593
you know, bollocks like that.
And Syma gets in the car,
224
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,790
and she's like,
'"You'll never see me again.'"
225
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,957
And her mum and dad say,
'"Good riddance! '"
226
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,434
And Syma goes,
'"Right, OK, goodbye, for ever! '"
227
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,469
And then the car won't start.
228
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,557
So her mum and dad are standing there,
shouting all sorts,
229
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,795
and Syma's sitting in the car,
and she says it again,
230
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,717
she's like, '"Goodbye, for good! '"
231
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:02,116
It still won't start.
I mean, it really won't start.
232
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,549
And in the end, she has to get out.
233
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:05,999
They have to telephone the AA.
234
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,632
Turns out,
she's on her father's membership,
235
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,636
so he has to go back inside the house
and get the number.
236
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,875
And they're still saying,
'"We disown you.'"
237
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,070
She's still saying, '"I don't care.'"
238
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:18,352
And then they have to wait
45 minutes for the van to come.
239
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:23,115
Just standing there, in the street.
45 minutes.
240
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,795
Anyway, then the man comes,
he fixes the car,
241
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:31,436
and Syma gets back in,
and she says, '"I'm leaving, goodbye! '"
242
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:35,519
And then she drives off,
and that was that.
243
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,073
Because that's what happens.
244
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:44,640
When real things really happen to
real-life people, there's always...
245
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,318
a car.
246
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,238
Or a dog. Or a hat.
247
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:53,034
Or... something that doesn't fit.
248
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,150
Cos I lived with a liar.
249
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,829
I lived with a liar for years and years,
250
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,518
and I know what it sounds like
251
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,028
when you make something up.
252
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:05,675
So?
253
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:06,709
So...
254
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,069
we could have a laugh in this place, man.
255
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,799
It could be good.
256
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,195
We could even hook up every now and again,
I don't mind.
257
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,674
It's better than having a wank.
258
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,597
Certainly faster.
259
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,994
But not if you're gonna fuck it up.
260
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,160
(SIGHS) You're just so young, Dean.
261
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,679
What's that supposed to mean?
262
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,029
Anyway, I tried.
263
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,196
- (CUTLERY CLINKS)
- (SIGHS)
264
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,391
400 quid, by tomorrow, or you're fucked.
265
00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,233
Take as long as you like,
I don't mind. I'll wait here.
266
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,555
400 quid's a lot of money.
267
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,999
I'll ask her for 200, see how it goes.
268
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,077
And if they chase me out with cricket bats
and pickaxes, get ready to drive, fast!
269
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,236
- OK?
- OK.
270
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,999
- Good luck.
- Thanks, hon. Mwah!
271
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,189
(DOGS BARK)
272
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,275
Oh!
273
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,993
- Bruno! Viking!
- Hold on, hold on.
274
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,190
Hold on. It's all right, I've got 'em,
I've got 'em.
275
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,073
Hey, Bruno, Viking! Out! Out! Come on!
276
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,116
You should've said.
How's things? How are you?
277
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,878
- You all right?
- Yeah.
278
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,194
How's the job?
279
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,719
- Fine.
- How's the flat?
280
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:48,749
Fine.
281
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,789
No, don't do that.
282
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,239
- We've got pasta bake.
- I'm fine.
283
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,078
There you go.
They're excited to see you!
284
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,714
I've got a woman online,
from Germany, lives in Cologne.
285
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,399
Wants to breed them.
Could be good this time.
286
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,477
Long way to go but, you know,
I could sleep in the car.
287
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,031
How's things, then? How's the job?
288
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,308
Fine.
289
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:10,839
- How's the flat, all right?
- Fine.
290
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,440
Pete, tell Leanne her tea's ready.
291
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,118
And she's not having it upstairs.
292
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,115
Everything OK?
You all right for money?
293
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,752
- Yeah, why?
- Good.
294
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:28,435
I like your hair!
295
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:31,838
So we decided
we've got to move your nan,
296
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,598
cos that street's getting worse.
297
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,552
You can't move for bins - there's
a million bins all over the place.
298
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,830
The students make it worse.
299
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,348
They just scatter the bins
and then no-one puts them back.
300
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,870
Trying to walk through there,
it's like doing a slalom.
301
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,797
- (TEXT ALERT)
- Drives me mad.
302
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,751
So who's in that flat of yours now,
303
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,677
cos Karl's moved out, hasn't he?
304
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:51,914
Has anyone else moved in?
305
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,313
- Dunno.
- You live there.
306
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,349
So?
307
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,391
- I'm asking, that's all.
- Don't be like that now.
308
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:57,668
Like what?
309
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,075
Your mother was just asking, that's all.
We're interested.
310
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,155
Oh, shut up, Dad!
311
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,952
- Don't tell me to shut up!
- Well, shut up, then.
312
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,797
If I told you to shut up,
you'd send me to my room.
313
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,273
Yeah, well, you're not helping, Leanne,
314
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,673
- thank you very much.
- He's telling you to shut up.
315
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,199
Oh, my God, did you hear him?
316
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,673
I didn't say it, Dad did.
317
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,358
Just... pipe down, both of you.
318
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,072
It would be nice to just sit
319
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,236
and have our tea, don't you think?
Wouldn't it?
320
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:17,554
(TEXT ALERT)
321
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,320
So... who is living in the flat now, then?
322
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,954
- Oh, my God!
- It's all right, Pete, just leave it.
323
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,513
How come he can have
his phone at the table?
324
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,630
- Because he's over 18.
- Your brother's got a job.
325
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,432
- He might need it.
- So fuck off, all right?
326
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,469
Oi!
327
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,033
Come on, Dean.
There's no need for that.
328
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,753
Yeah. So don't... fuck us off.
329
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:39,994
(TEXT ALERT)
330
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,229
(TEXT ALERT)
331
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:46,829
Julie came round.
332
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,952
She said, '"How's Dean? '"
I said, '"He's still bent.'"
333
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,672
Leanne... you can stop that.
334
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:52,914
She wasyour girlfriend.
335
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:53,995
So?
336
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,917
I remember when yous broke up.
337
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,872
She was at the door, you were
in the bathroom, you were crying.
338
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,399
You cried all night.
339
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,634
You got a boyfriend?
340
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,398
Leanne, you can button it, OK?
341
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,556
Why, what's wrong with me
having a boyfriend?
342
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,033
Oh, that's right, yeah,
have a go at me!
343
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,516
No, he's too young to settle down.
Isn't that right, Dean?
344
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:14,348
All those boys out there,
I bet you're breaking hearts.
345
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:16,913
Is there... anyone?
346
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,154
Why?
347
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,235
I'm just wondering.
348
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:23,114
No, he's just saying that... Well,
if there is anyone special, then he's...
349
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,434
- he's a very lucky boy.
- Oh!
350
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:25,629
Yeah, well, I had sex this morning.
351
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,319
I had sex with a man in town
and he had me right up the bum.
352
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,713
Oh, my God, did you hear him?!
353
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,274
He fucked me up the bum,
then I fucked him.
354
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,436
- Here we go. Every time!
- What d'you mean, this morning?
355
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:35,469
Why weren't you at work?
356
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,112
Cos I was too busy getting fucked, OK?
357
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,388
- That's so disgusting.
- Dean!
358
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:39,634
Yeah, and he came right in my face.
359
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,432
- Oh, gross!
- Stop it now!
360
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,471
He spunked in my face and I licked it up
and I ate it.
361
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,035
Right, that's it, both of you, stop it!
You're not clever, just stop it, OK?
362
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,832
Oh, but she can talk about boys
and that's OK?
363
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,518
She doesn't talk about them
coming in her face!
364
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,232
- Eugh!
- I said, that's enough!
365
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:07,759
Well, I hope you're being safe.
366
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,438
Oh, for fuck's sake!
367
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:12,869
(DOOR OPENS)
368
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,069
(DOOR SHUTS)
369
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,594
- (DOOR SLAMS)
- (SIGHS)
370
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:22,349
They said no.
371
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,391
And then they said,
'"You can get out, you little queer.'"
372
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,954
Oh, my God, they're rubbish.
373
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,470
Fuck it. They're not worth it.
Come on.
374
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,273
You're driving me to 46 Verona Lane.
375
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,548
Why, what happens there?
376
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,312
(MOANS)
377
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,679
Ah! No!
378
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,233
Ah!
379
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,350
Doesn't matter. Keep going!
380
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:05,589
(CHORAL MUSIC)
381
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,996
It's not my fault.
382
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,271
They said no.
I haven't got the money.
383
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:28,357
What am I supposed to do?
384
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,756
Maybe something will turn up.
385
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,429
That's what a child says.
386
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,269
(DOOR SHUTS)
387
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,311
(BANGING ON DOOR)
388
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,756
(BANGING CONTINUES)
389
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,831
Now, first of all,
you need to get a rent book.
390
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,440
So, to get a rent book,
you need to establish Roderick's status
391
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,278
and then you need to establish
the status of this building,
392
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,675
to find out whether it's a commercial
property or whether it had
393
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:33,032
its designation changed to residential,
and if I do all of that for you...
394
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:35,275
...can I stay?
395
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,390
Can you lend me 400 quid?
396
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,589
Yes.
397
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,119
Can you give me 400 quid?
398
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,071
- Yes.
- Get in.
399
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:43,838
Ha!
28833
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