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In the beginning, there was some
dark stuff and some light stuff.
4
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:25,159
So God, or whatever, scrapped up
a bunch of the dark stuff
5
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:29,097
and shaped a great
dildo from it.
6
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,133
Wait. I'm getting
ahead of myself.
7
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:37,205
So, the space nuns were
running through the forest.
8
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:27,155
It is The Unquenchable
Thirst for Beau Nerjoose!
9
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,300
Hello, nuns.
10
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,172
I know you're in there.
11
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,174
Give me your dear Hope
12
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,243
or I will be forced
13
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:51,179
to destroy you.
14
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,181
Destroy us?
15
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,317
You couldn't destroy your dick
with both hands and a map, bud!
16
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:58,319
What?
17
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,354
Why would I destroy my dick?
18
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:02,190
I don't need two hands...
19
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:03,191
Oh!
20
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:04,258
Yeah!
21
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,194
Fine!
22
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,296
Have it your way.
23
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,200
Go get the one we
came for, boys.
24
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,355
What's your damage
you fucking psycho?
25
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,257
Hope has done nothing to you.
26
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,327
She's more than just a puzzle
piece in your sick quest!
27
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,362
Do not worry.
28
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,297
Hope will be safe with me.
29
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:48,236
I swear to you. I will
rip your goddamn dick
off, and I will eat it
30
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,338
I don't even want to do
that, but I will do it!
31
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,341
I will eat your dick!
32
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,343
I will eat your dick.
33
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,378
I will eat your dick.
34
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,247
I will eat your dick.
35
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,249
I will eat your dick!
36
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,384
Oh, ha, ha, ha, oh
37
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:08,256
Charming as ever,
Sister Dicktwister.
38
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:12,326
However, your words
mean nothing to me so
39
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,296
fuck off and die.
40
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,399
Well... just die...
41
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,269
mostly.
42
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,304
Light 'em up.
43
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,397
Ha, ha, ha!
44
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,333
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
45
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:53,467
(Dickwipe)
46
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:58,306
Wieners, Butthole,
47
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,376
Buttholes, Wieners,
48
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:06,380
Boobies, Pussy...
49
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,449
Shut the fuck up, Ron!
50
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:11,319
God, I'm trying to concentrate.
51
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,322
Gaa! You just sit there,
night after night,
52
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,391
doing nothing, k?
absolutely nothing.
53
00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:21,462
Nothing? Gee-dangit, Tracey.
54
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,398
I spend time with you.
That's what lovers do.
55
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:25,433
They hang out.
56
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:26,400
No
57
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:28,436
And do stuff together,
in love and stuff.
58
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:33,341
That's what losers do. I know
'cause I'm looking at one.
59
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,344
But Tracey, you know I love you.
60
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:37,378
You mean everything to me.
61
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:38,479
Do I?
62
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,349
Yeah, you totally do.
63
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:43,351
Ah, man.
64
00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:45,386
Ah, I gotta shit.
65
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,357
Well fuck you,
Ron! Real romantic!
66
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:59,367
Tracey. Generic toilet paper?
67
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:01,369
My butthole is
way too sensitive.
68
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,373
Maybe if you weren't a
giant fucking loser, I'd be
able to buy you something
69
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,377
other than generic toilet
paper I'm sorry you
don't have a fucking job!
70
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:10,478
Fuck!
71
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,383
I'm sorry. I've been
busy dealing with the
20-year anniversary of
my mother going crazy
72
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:19,387
and getting sent to the looney
bin. I haven't had enough time.
73
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,391
It's been 20 years already.
Get the fuck over it, Ron!
74
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,393
Maybe you're right.
75
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:32,400
But that doesn't change
the fact that I can't wipe
with generic toilet paper.
76
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,404
My butthole is
way too sensitive.
77
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:37,438
That is it!
78
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,408
God, you're always my butthole
this and my butthole that.
79
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:42,543
Well, did you ever stop and
think about my butthole's wants?
80
00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:45,479
OK, My butthole has needs too.
81
00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,482
Like a weekly rim
job, you fucking tool!
82
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,419
Fuck you! This marriage is over!
83
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,455
But Tracey!
84
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,562
Got sensitive butt, believe me.
85
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,565
and maybe she was
right to leave me home.
86
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,535
with nothing but my butt.
87
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,440
She left me sad and lonely,
88
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,476
and now it's me and only my
89
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,446
incredibly sensitive butt.
90
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:22,450
Someday I'll make
the perfect poo,
91
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,585
and wish it was inside of you,
92
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:30,458
but now it's me and
just my own poop alone.
93
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,593
Till then I'll wish upon a star
94
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,496
and wonder where
the fuck you are
95
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,499
but will not care
because you are
96
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,469
such a bitch.
97
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:46,540
Somewhere outside my butthole
98
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:50,511
I can make it my way.
99
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:57,485
Somewhere outside my butthole
100
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:01,522
a light as bright as the day
101
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:07,495
Someday I'll make
the perfect poo.
102
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,525
Hey, Man.
103
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,661
Life ain't all about
ass and titties.
104
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:44,598
Um, yeah I know that.
105
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,534
It's just...
106
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,537
sometimes...
107
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,540
life just hurts.
108
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,543
I hear ya, brother.
109
00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:00,614
The secret to life is to smoke
pot every day. Twenty-four
seven, three sixty-five.
110
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,554
It'll get you in to places.
111
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,691
Say, uh, can you help out an
aspiring street musci-magician?
112
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,627
I gotta take a mean poop.
113
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:18,566
Um, yeah, I have
this toilet paper.
114
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:25,706
Man, I can't use this.
I got a sensitive butthole.
115
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,710
Me too.
116
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:47,595
Hey man, I gotta
take a poop real bad.
117
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:51,599
Yeah man. Me too.
118
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:53,701
Me too.
119
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:29,637
Hello, Ron.
120
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,772
Oh, hey Zach.
121
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,741
How's it going?
122
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,779
Not so good. I'm still
pretty bummed about my mom,
and Tracey just left me.
123
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:43,651
What? That bitch.
124
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:45,686
Don't let it get you
down. It'll work out.
125
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,756
Just wait like 90 minutes.
126
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:50,691
Are you here to get
some hand lotion?
127
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,793
Nah, I just use spit.
128
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,664
I just... I don't know
what I'm doing Zach.
129
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,799
I gotta get my shit together.
130
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:00,768
Hey, are you guys hiring?
131
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,604
Yes, actually. However,
there is one problem.
132
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,675
All new employees
must pass a drug test.
133
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,609
Why would that be a problem?
134
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,813
Well, for one thing you're
smoking a joint right now.
135
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,615
Good point.
136
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,788
And if I'm not mistaken,
aren't you scraping the
mucus off an Amazonian toad
for ingestion purposes, no?
137
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,702
Yeah, maybe you're right.
138
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,671
Ron, don't give up so easily.
139
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:42,642
I know a guy. A guy
who can get you things.
140
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,747
Things like 100% pure
unfiltered baby urine.
141
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:48,816
Why would you filter it?
142
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,720
Have you ever smelled
a baby's dick, Ron?
143
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:55,856
It's not pleasant.
144
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:59,860
And this stuff is so
clean, you can drink it.
145
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,867
I gotta go.
146
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:08,869
I gotta take a shit.
147
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:10,738
You go, Ron.
148
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,773
Fly, fly!
149
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,745
Oh, Ah, Oh!
150
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,748
Ah, it's crowning!
151
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,752
I can feel the
shark fin forming!
152
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,756
AAAAAHHHH!
153
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:29,890
Oh boy!
154
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,860
How'm I gonna wipe my butt?
155
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,763
Ew!! Ah!!
156
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:49,910
But, don't you need it?
157
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:51,912
We can share.
158
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,815
No, it's ok.
You can keep it.
159
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,784
Thanks, man!
160
00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,821
Bring, ring!
Ring, ring!
161
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:02,923
Sorry, I got a phone call.
162
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:10,831
Yes, he's here.
163
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,801
Who may I say is calling?
164
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:18,906
It's for you.
165
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,942
It's the universe.
166
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,814
Don't get your boogers on it!
167
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,817
Don't get your boogers on it!
168
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:30,851
What?
169
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,889
Say, you wanna come back to
my house, and maybe butt-chug
some toilet wine with me?
170
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,827
It's like my pappy used to say,
171
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,964
"If you don't like the
taste, put it in your butt."
172
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:47,968
Uhhm. No thanks.
173
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,838
Maybe next time?
174
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,921
My name is Beau Nerjoose,
175
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:12,993
and I'm evil as fuck!
176
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,898
My name is Beau Nerjoose,
177
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,970
and I'm evil as fuck!
178
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:28,876
I am Beau Nerjoose.
I am Beau Nerjoose.
179
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,913
He is Beau Nerjoose.
He is Beau Nerjoose.
180
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,017
I am Beau Nerjoose.
I am Beau Nerjoose.
181
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,889
He is Beau Nerjoose.
He is Beau Nerjoose.
182
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:46,927
I am Beau Nerjoose.
I am Beau Nerjoose.
183
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:53,033
Beau!
184
00:13:56,904 --> 00:14:00,908
Nerjoose!
185
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:01,641
My name is
186
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:06,914
Beau!
187
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:12,920
Nerjoose!
188
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,019
Pants!
189
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,001
Ronny, is that you?
190
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,972
Hey mom. How's it going?
I love you
191
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,975
I love you too, Ronny.
192
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,978
The laser avocado left a rotten
193
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:16,016
you still wanna make
a jelly-bean pyramid.
194
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:21,088
Also, there's gonna
be a pirate-riot in my
ringer-jam boobie land.
195
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:28,996
Oh, that's good mom. Or bad.
Or interesting or whatever.
196
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,132
I'm sorry I'm so goddamn crazy.
197
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,036
I blame Beau Nerjoose.
198
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:41,074
Look, mom. I know you were
a prostitute, and that's ok.
Lots of moms are prostitutes,
199
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:46,146
but when you use words like
bonerjuice, it just puts
these weird images in my head.
200
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:53,120
Sorry, but Beau Nerjoose, he
messed with my titties and
made me shit out my sanity!
201
00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,024
That's just gross.
202
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:02,029
Ooo, Ronny. Your pants...
Are you crazy too?
203
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,097
No, I just found these.
204
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,099
Where are your pants?
205
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:10,037
Well, I farted and a
little poop came out.
206
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,173
You did?
Ooo, describe it to me, Ronny.
207
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,176
You and your useless
nose. I love it.
208
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:21,048
I'll always love the smell
of your farts, Ronny.
209
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,184
At least the way you
describe them to me.
210
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:30,157
And that was, "No, Fuck
You Dad," by Everclear.
211
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,061
Hey Ronny, What do
you want to do today?
212
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,196
I don't know. Hey
Mom, Guess what.
213
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,200
Ha, ha! Hilarious!
214
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,070
Describe the smell to me, Ronny.
215
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:48,208
It smells like someone
pooped puke out of an armpit.
216
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:53,146
Ha, Ha, Ha, damn Ronny.
That's a good one.
217
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,082
I love you so much!
218
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,084
Love you too, mom.
219
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:03,190
Coming up next, another shitty,
fucking song by Sublime.
220
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:10,097
Yeah, those were
some good times.
221
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,100
Mom.
222
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,135
Mom?
223
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,104
Mom?
224
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:20,107
Mom, why'd you fall
asleep for no reason?
225
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,111
Hey doctor, it's Ron.
226
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,179
Uh, my mom's gone to
sleep for no reason.
227
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,115
I think there's
something wrong with her.
228
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:29,249
Boner-time.
229
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,134
Ron.
230
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:48,268
Your mother's gone into a coma,
231
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,137
Oh God.
232
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,140
and she has genital herpes.
233
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,142
Oh God.
234
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,144
How do you know she
has genital herpes?
235
00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:00,147
Because I have genital herpes.
236
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,149
Did you have sex with my mom?
237
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:06,153
Oh yeah, I've been having sex
with her for quite sometime.
238
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,155
She's crazy, you know.
239
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:11,158
Crazy 'bout this dick!
240
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:20,167
Anyway, there's something
important we need to discuss.
241
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:21,401
Not only am I your
mother's doctor,
242
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,170
but I'm also her lawyer.
243
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,174
And as such, I must tell
you that according to
your mother's last wishes,
244
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,243
if she's in a coma longer than
a week, she is to be euthanized.
245
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,179
What should I do?
246
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,181
Definitely don't
have sex with her.
247
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,183
She's got a bad case
of genital herpes,
248
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,185
and also, she's your mom.
249
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,220
Right. Right. You're
totally right.
250
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:41,254
Here Ron.
251
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:48,295
Let me give you an invitation
to her euthanasia slash funeral
ceremony slash karaoke party.
252
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:54,201
Let's see here. A week from
today would be next Monday.
253
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,204
I really hope you can make it.
254
00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,272
I'm sure Agnes would
love to have you.
255
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,242
And take care Ron. Call me
if you have any questions.
256
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:07,314
Ah, thanks. This is
all just so awful.
257
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:12,352
Ron, genital herpes isn't that
big of a deal. One can live a
happy and healthy sexual life.
258
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:17,224
I'm talking about my
mom dying in a week.
259
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,227
Oh that. Yeah. Well.
260
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,295
C'est la vie, Ron.
261
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,231
C'est la vie.
262
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:37,310
No, it's not.
263
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:42,349
Life ain't about dicks
and wieners no matter
what you thought.
264
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:51,291
So fuckin' sad, mom's in a
coma and she's got herpes too.
265
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:58,265
So fuckin sad, my
wife is a whore...
266
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,338
Shit.
267
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,275
Poop.
268
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,213
Definetly poop.
269
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,351
Where there's poop,
there's mushrooms.
270
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,362
I really don't want to eat this.
271
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:35,234
If you don't like the
taste, put it in your butt.
272
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:44,444
OK, here we go.
273
00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:29,356
Oi, I'm flying' here.
274
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:32,459
Excuse me, helicockter.
275
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:34,494
Oh, you're a right
cunt, ain't ya.
276
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:09,462
I'm tripping on mushrooms.
277
00:22:14,401 --> 00:22:19,406
To mend my broken
heart before it splits
278
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:24,411
in two and spills blood
all over the floor.
279
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:34,487
I'm tripping on you.
280
00:22:38,425 --> 00:22:41,494
I'm tripping on everything.
281
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:46,566
There's a bear jerking
off over there.
282
00:22:47,434 --> 00:22:50,470
And he's looking at me.
283
00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:53,540
He's looking at me.
284
00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:57,544
He's looking at me.
285
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:02,582
He's looking at me.
286
00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:08,455
I'm tripping on mushrooms.
287
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:16,563
To mend my broken
heart before it splits
288
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:22,502
in two and pours blood
all over the floor.
289
00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:53,566
Weird.
290
00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:57,537
Hey Ron.
291
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:02,509
Hello?
292
00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:05,578
C'mon stupid. I'm
in your butthole.
293
00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:08,515
Yeah right. My butthole.
294
00:24:09,348 --> 00:24:11,518
No. Seriously, let's talk.
295
00:24:13,653 --> 00:24:15,555
Alright.
296
00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:24,531
I don't see anything.
297
00:24:25,932 --> 00:24:27,567
Move your dick and balls out
of the way, you fucking idiot.
298
00:24:29,536 --> 00:24:32,539
Oh hey little buddy.
How'd you get in there?
299
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,541
I was in the mushroom
you shoved up your ass!
300
00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:37,544
Oh, sorry. Oopsie doopsie.
301
00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:42,549
It's ok. I'm a bootyworm.
I like being in buttholes.
302
00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:43,215
So what's up?
303
00:24:43,950 --> 00:24:44,684
You're in danger, Ron.
304
00:24:45,685 --> 00:24:46,653
How do you know my name?
305
00:24:47,554 --> 00:24:49,556
Because you're the chosen one.
306
00:24:51,591 --> 00:24:54,561
This has been a weird day.
307
00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:56,696
My wife, Tracey left me.
308
00:24:57,564 --> 00:24:58,598
I crapped my pants.
309
00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:00,567
My mom's crazy.
310
00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:02,569
Your mom, Ron! She's
very important!
311
00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:03,870
What are you talking
about, little guy?
312
00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:05,705
There's no time for this,
Ron. Listen closely.
313
00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:08,675
There's an evil man intent
on controlling the universe.
314
00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:11,744
I've come here from the planet
Urectum to get your help.
315
00:25:12,912 --> 00:25:14,614
We've come in search of
the great fleshlight.
316
00:25:15,715 --> 00:25:17,584
I've been upside
down for a long time.
317
00:25:18,718 --> 00:25:19,619
Ron, stay with me! We
don't have much time!
318
00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:22,689
You have to save your
mother! Your mother's anus!
319
00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:24,724
Gross.
320
00:25:25,592 --> 00:25:27,594
Ron! Ron!
321
00:25:28,327 --> 00:25:30,597
That's cool, man.
322
00:25:31,130 --> 00:25:33,600
Shrooming!
323
00:25:35,668 --> 00:25:38,638
Shrooms sure make me horny.
324
00:25:40,607 --> 00:25:43,610
I'm walking all alone.
325
00:25:45,612 --> 00:25:48,648
And these shrooms
gave me a bone.
326
00:25:50,617 --> 00:25:53,620
And Tracey now I know.
327
00:25:55,622 --> 00:25:58,625
You'll never touch my bone.
328
00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:04,764
It's raining
teardrops on my boner.
329
00:26:05,832 --> 00:26:09,769
I'm crying teardrops
on my boner.
330
00:26:10,803 --> 00:26:14,774
It's raining
teardrops on my boner.
331
00:26:15,842 --> 00:26:19,712
I'm crying teardrops
on my boner.
332
00:26:20,813 --> 00:26:24,751
Bone, bone, bone,
bone, bone, bone, bone!
333
00:26:25,852 --> 00:26:29,789
Bone, bone, bone,
bone, bone, bone, bone!
334
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:38,731
Talkin' 'bout teardrops!
335
00:26:39,331 --> 00:26:43,736
On my boner!
336
00:26:44,470 --> 00:26:48,741
Talkin' 'bout teardrops!
337
00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:53,780
On my boner!
338
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:58,818
Oooo hooo wooo!
339
00:26:59,686 --> 00:27:03,823
Oooo hooo wooo!
340
00:27:04,691 --> 00:27:05,692
Oooo...
341
00:27:54,741 --> 00:27:59,746
Sometimes the world,
it'll get you down.
342
00:28:01,748 --> 00:28:06,753
It will break you up,
it will chew you out.
343
00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:12,859
When you've been
pushed and beaten down.
344
00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:19,832
You feel like crawling
into the ground.
345
00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:26,806
Let evil be, let evil be.
346
00:28:28,775 --> 00:28:33,780
Oh sad and powerless me.
347
00:28:48,795 --> 00:28:50,797
Is it him?
348
00:28:51,497 --> 00:28:53,800
I don't know, dickhead.
349
00:28:54,801 --> 00:28:55,902
Wake up, my son.
350
00:28:58,805 --> 00:28:59,839
Wake up!
351
00:29:05,812 --> 00:29:06,813
What the fuck happened?
352
00:29:08,214 --> 00:29:09,916
Well, we found you here in the
middle of the woods, young boy.
353
00:29:11,050 --> 00:29:12,885
Looks like you hit
your head pretty hard,
354
00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:16,856
but this should here
your cerebral pains.
355
00:29:22,829 --> 00:29:24,831
This taste like hot shit.
356
00:29:25,664 --> 00:29:27,867
That's because it is hot shit.
357
00:29:29,435 --> 00:29:31,838
We have no coffee out
here. We're in the
middle of the woods.
358
00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:32,839
C'mon.
359
00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:33,840
Right, right.
360
00:29:34,306 --> 00:29:34,841
Hello.
361
00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:38,878
I am Sister Buttfister.
362
00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:43,916
This is Sister Fuckface
and Sister Dicktwister.
363
00:29:44,650 --> 00:29:44,984
What's your name, boy?
364
00:29:45,852 --> 00:29:46,919
Ron. Ron. I'm Ron.
365
00:29:47,386 --> 00:29:48,855
Oh.
366
00:29:49,856 --> 00:29:50,890
God, I had the
weirdest day yesterday.
367
00:29:51,357 --> 00:29:51,924
Really?
368
00:29:52,859 --> 00:29:53,860
Yeah, my wife, Tracey left me.
369
00:29:54,927 --> 00:29:55,061
She said I'm not
good enough for her,
370
00:29:55,928 --> 00:29:56,929
and then blah, blah, blah.
371
00:29:57,864 --> 00:29:58,865
Do you think he's the one?
372
00:30:00,867 --> 00:30:03,903
I doubt it. The prophecy said
nothing of the chosen one
being covered in bear semen.
373
00:30:05,838 --> 00:30:08,908
Bear semen? Why do you
think it's bear semen?
374
00:30:10,042 --> 00:30:12,811
Let's just say I
wasn't always a nun.
375
00:30:14,713 --> 00:30:17,950
And then I hit my head
on that tree, and it
knocked my out right here.
376
00:30:19,118 --> 00:30:22,821
Oh my. Now that
is quite the tale.
377
00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:24,924
Now tell me Ron. At any
point in your journey,
378
00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:27,894
did you come across
a nun just like us?
379
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:29,929
Younger? Slightly sexier?
380
00:30:30,796 --> 00:30:32,899
Her name was Sister Hope.
381
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:37,036
Not unless Sister Hope is
fully erect claymation bear.
382
00:30:38,270 --> 00:30:40,940
No, I see no reason why
she'd have an erection.
383
00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:45,912
Hope has been captured
by the evil Dr. Nerjoose.
384
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,950
There's worm in my
butthole that was talking
about an evil doctor.
385
00:30:52,651 --> 00:30:54,853
Ron, we're nuns of an
ancient religion that
speaks of a prophecy.
386
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,991
This prophecy speaks of
a man and woman that will
end all suffering on Earth.
387
00:31:00,426 --> 00:31:02,962
We believe Hope may be this
woman. And you may be this man.
388
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,064
Yeah right. Sure.
389
00:31:06,999 --> 00:31:10,937
Ron, the prophecy speaks
of a booty worm much
like your own booty worm.
390
00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:16,008
Let me guess. Does Hope
have one of these talking
worms in her asshole?
391
00:31:17,944 --> 00:31:18,945
No!
392
00:31:20,079 --> 00:31:23,049
Hope's butthole is as
pure as the driven snow!
393
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:25,952
I'm sorries.
394
00:31:26,818 --> 00:31:27,954
Sister Hope is very dear to us.
395
00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:31,090
We've cherished her since the
day she came to our convent
396
00:31:31,958 --> 00:31:34,961
nineteen years ago!
397
00:31:36,328 --> 00:31:39,031
Me and the girls were outside
sunbathing the titties,
398
00:31:40,166 --> 00:31:43,002
and Hope just appeared
on our door step.
399
00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:46,072
I remember it like
it was yesterday,
400
00:31:46,973 --> 00:31:49,976
yesterday, yesterday, yesterday,
401
00:31:50,876 --> 00:31:53,980
yesterday, yesterday, yesterday,
402
00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:54,981
yesterday...
403
00:32:00,119 --> 00:32:01,120
Holy shit!
404
00:32:02,588 --> 00:32:04,991
Someone left a baby on
the steps of our convent.
405
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:06,125
Oh Fuck that.
406
00:32:06,993 --> 00:32:09,028
Oh she's adorable. That's it!
407
00:32:10,196 --> 00:32:11,998
We're keeping her, and
we'll name her Hope.
408
00:32:12,864 --> 00:32:14,000
Oh look! She has a bottle.
409
00:32:15,101 --> 00:32:17,069
What the fuck is in there?
410
00:32:18,537 --> 00:32:20,139
I don't know, but it fucking
stinks like fucking maggots.
411
00:32:27,013 --> 00:32:28,014
What is this?
412
00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:29,081
It sure looks shitty.
413
00:32:30,516 --> 00:32:32,051
We got some mother fucking
maggots on our titties!
414
00:32:32,651 --> 00:32:33,119
I don't like it.
415
00:32:34,020 --> 00:32:35,021
This is the pits.
416
00:32:36,322 --> 00:32:37,156
We got some mother fucking
maggots on our tits!
417
00:32:38,024 --> 00:32:40,059
Fuck! We got tittie maggots!
418
00:32:40,926 --> 00:32:43,029
Fuck! Talkin' tittie maggots!
419
00:32:43,862 --> 00:32:45,164
Fuck! We got tittie maggots!
420
00:32:46,032 --> 00:32:47,066
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
421
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:48,067
Fuckin' tittie maggots!
422
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,135
This fuckin' blows.
423
00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:51,037
This fuckin' sucks.
424
00:32:52,371 --> 00:32:53,139
I got some mother fucking
maggots on my jugs!
425
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:54,173
This is fucked.
426
00:32:55,041 --> 00:32:56,042
It's totally whack!
427
00:32:57,409 --> 00:32:59,045
I've got some mother
fucking maggots on my rack!
428
00:32:59,911 --> 00:33:01,180
Fuck! We got tittie maggots!
429
00:33:02,148 --> 00:33:04,083
Fuck! Talkin' tittie maggots!
430
00:33:04,950 --> 00:33:07,053
Fuck! We got tittie maggots!
431
00:33:07,853 --> 00:33:08,154
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
432
00:33:09,055 --> 00:33:09,188
Fuckin' tittie maggots!
433
00:33:10,056 --> 00:33:12,091
Fuck! We got tittie maggots
434
00:33:12,958 --> 00:33:15,061
Fuck! Talkin' tittie maggots
435
00:33:15,861 --> 00:33:17,163
Fuck! We got tittie maggots.
436
00:33:18,064 --> 00:33:19,098
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
437
00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,100
Fuckin' tittie maggots!
438
00:33:26,072 --> 00:33:30,109
And we've had these
fucking maggots on our
titties ever since!
439
00:33:30,576 --> 00:33:33,079
Oh No!
440
00:33:37,216 --> 00:33:40,086
I'm at the weigh
station of refusal.
441
00:33:44,090 --> 00:33:46,092
Holy shit.
442
00:33:46,658 --> 00:33:48,160
He is the one.
443
00:33:48,627 --> 00:33:51,130
Totally.
444
00:33:51,730 --> 00:33:53,165
For sure.
445
00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:14,253
Hello, my dear.
446
00:34:15,121 --> 00:34:16,155
What shall it be?
447
00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:19,125
Fortune or pleasure?
448
00:34:20,259 --> 00:34:24,163
Well, everything's been
so screwed up lately.
449
00:34:25,331 --> 00:34:27,199
I have no idea where
I'm going in life.
450
00:34:27,933 --> 00:34:29,201
I feel so directionless.
451
00:34:30,269 --> 00:34:32,271
I could really use a hand
452
00:34:33,139 --> 00:34:34,240
job.
453
00:34:35,141 --> 00:34:38,144
Sure, honey. That'll be 25.
454
00:34:47,186 --> 00:34:49,255
Save some for next time, Ron!
455
00:34:50,156 --> 00:34:50,289
Ok.
456
00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:54,193
Let's see what the universe
has in store for you.
457
00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:58,164
Oh my. I see such sorrow.
458
00:34:58,897 --> 00:35:00,166
Did you lose someone?
459
00:35:00,966 --> 00:35:02,301
Well, my wife just left me.
460
00:35:02,901 --> 00:35:04,303
That's not it.
461
00:35:05,171 --> 00:35:07,173
I see something else...
462
00:35:07,839 --> 00:35:09,175
something deeper.
463
00:35:09,641 --> 00:35:11,210
Well...
464
00:35:12,378 --> 00:35:15,181
my mom did just
slip into a coma,
465
00:35:16,482 --> 00:35:18,184
but she's been looney-toons
crazy for 20 years.
466
00:35:19,050 --> 00:35:21,187
20 years? Oh my God, that's it!
467
00:35:22,053 --> 00:35:23,255
Are you little Ronny Wartyhymen?
468
00:35:23,989 --> 00:35:25,191
How did you know?
469
00:35:26,525 --> 00:35:29,195
Well, Agnes Wartyhymen
was the best whore we had.
470
00:35:30,329 --> 00:35:31,297
Oh, we gobbled a lot
of hogs together.
471
00:35:32,198 --> 00:35:35,234
Oh, we had some crazy times.
472
00:35:36,702 --> 00:35:40,206
She was the only whore in
town to do the chili dog.
473
00:35:41,006 --> 00:35:41,207
Do you know what that is?
474
00:35:41,607 --> 00:35:42,208
No.
475
00:35:44,009 --> 00:35:46,278
Oh, it's goddamn
disgusting. I puked the
first time I saw her do it.
476
00:35:47,713 --> 00:35:50,282
But the men, they would line
up around the block to see it.
477
00:35:51,617 --> 00:35:53,319
Just stop. That's
disgusting. That's gross.
478
00:35:54,220 --> 00:35:55,221
I don't wanna hear it.
479
00:35:56,255 --> 00:35:58,357
Sorry kid. I was
just being nostalgic.
480
00:35:59,458 --> 00:36:01,327
You see, I haven't
seen Agnes in 20 years,
481
00:36:02,761 --> 00:36:06,232
ever since she went crazy
and was sent to the looney bin.
482
00:36:06,932 --> 00:36:07,366
What happened that day?
483
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:13,239
The day she went crazy and
got sent to the looney bin?
484
00:36:14,373 --> 00:36:17,343
Well, it started out
like any other day.
485
00:36:18,544 --> 00:36:20,246
She had a visit from
one of her regulars.
486
00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:21,280
A doctor.
487
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,249
He was a real pig,
488
00:36:25,251 --> 00:36:26,352
and your mother was
worried that he might be
falling in love with her,
489
00:36:27,819 --> 00:36:30,289
because he just couldn't stop
putting his penis inside her.
490
00:36:32,391 --> 00:36:35,361
I could hear them all
the way across the whore
house, so I went to make
sure everything was ok.
491
00:36:38,364 --> 00:36:40,332
All I could I see was his butt.
492
00:36:41,066 --> 00:36:43,302
His sweaty, hairy butt.
493
00:36:44,503 --> 00:36:47,273
And then this white
light began to glow.
494
00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:54,280
He ran out of the whore house
like his balls were on fire.
495
00:36:56,282 --> 00:37:00,286
I ran into Agnes' room to
find out what happened.
496
00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:05,291
Whatever happened to her
that night changed her.
497
00:37:06,425 --> 00:37:08,394
Now she's just a
goddamn fruitcake.
498
00:37:08,994 --> 00:37:11,330
That bastard!
499
00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:13,299
I had no idea.
500
00:37:13,832 --> 00:37:15,301
I mean...
501
00:37:16,001 --> 00:37:18,337
I still have no idea.
502
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:19,338
What does that mean?
503
00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:22,374
Well, there's something
I want to show you.
504
00:37:23,509 --> 00:37:25,444
and then maybe
you'll understand.
505
00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:30,316
Soon, this will all make sense.
506
00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:32,318
The booty worms.
507
00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:33,419
The tittle maggots.
508
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,455
It's part of a great prophecy.
509
00:37:37,623 --> 00:37:39,458
A long time ago like
15 galaxies away,
510
00:37:40,859 --> 00:37:43,329
there was the peaceful,
but smelly planet of Urectum
511
00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:47,333
where booty worms and tittie
maggots lived happily together.
512
00:37:48,634 --> 00:37:50,469
We were the first and most
powerful planet in the universe.
513
00:37:51,337 --> 00:37:53,339
That shit was to so cool.
514
00:37:54,139 --> 00:37:55,341
Because of how awesome we were,
515
00:37:56,442 --> 00:37:57,343
the big guy in the
sky or whatever,
516
00:37:58,477 --> 00:37:59,378
came down from the
heavens or whatever,
517
00:38:00,579 --> 00:38:02,381
and entrusted us, the
keys to the universe.
518
00:38:03,582 --> 00:38:04,483
The great dildo and
the great fleshlight
519
00:38:05,351 --> 00:38:07,353
kept the stars burning bright
520
00:38:08,387 --> 00:38:10,389
and breathed life
throughout the galaxies.
521
00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:13,359
But then there
was the great war.
522
00:38:14,860 --> 00:38:17,463
Evil space pirates
crashed on Urectum and
started fucking shit up.
523
00:38:18,664 --> 00:38:20,399
They were raping and
murdering everybody.
524
00:38:21,533 --> 00:38:23,369
To protect the universe,
it was decided that
525
00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:26,405
we would move the great
dildo and the great
flashlight elsewhere.
526
00:38:27,573 --> 00:38:29,408
For if evil were ever
to get ahold of the two,
527
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,379
the universe would descend
into darkness forever.
528
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,381
The great dildo
was moved to Earth
529
00:38:37,383 --> 00:38:39,451
and entrusted to a whore
who in lived in a whore
house with her whore sister
530
00:38:40,185 --> 00:38:41,520
who was also a whore.
531
00:38:42,588 --> 00:38:43,522
And the great fleshlight
was entrusted to
532
00:38:44,590 --> 00:38:46,392
an earthling fellowship
that promised to
533
00:38:47,493 --> 00:38:49,395
protect it until the
end of days was near.
534
00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:53,399
Your mother was the keeper
of the great dildo, Ron.
535
00:38:54,199 --> 00:38:54,500
She kept it in her butthole.
536
00:38:55,967 --> 00:38:59,538
The man who took her sanity took
it by stealing the great dildo.
537
00:39:00,406 --> 00:39:02,441
What was the name of this man?
538
00:39:03,875 --> 00:39:05,444
The man who took the great
dildo from her butthole.
539
00:39:06,311 --> 00:39:07,413
His name was Dr. Nerjoose.
540
00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:09,415
Dr. Beau Nerjoose.
541
00:39:10,816 --> 00:39:14,453
He had an unquenchable
thirst for Beau Nerjoose.
542
00:39:15,887 --> 00:39:18,457
Ron, you must reunite your
mother with the great dildo.
543
00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:21,427
Only then, will
her sanity return.
544
00:39:22,494 --> 00:39:23,562
But first you will need
the great flashlight
545
00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:26,565
To get the great fleshlight,
you must climb Dick Mountain.
546
00:39:28,434 --> 00:39:30,469
It's a day's hike. I
would bring lots of water
and some cliff bars.
547
00:39:31,336 --> 00:39:31,570
I don't even have hiking shoes.
548
00:39:32,671 --> 00:39:33,539
Stop being a fucking
asshole, Ron.
549
00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:35,574
REI is a great
place to get them.
550
00:39:36,742 --> 00:39:37,509
You can return them
when you're done.
551
00:39:38,243 --> 00:39:39,445
But be careful, Ron.
552
00:39:40,579 --> 00:39:42,448
Dr. Beau Nerjoose is
pure unadulterated evil.
553
00:39:43,181 --> 00:39:44,450
Good luck, my son.
554
00:39:45,617 --> 00:39:50,489
I'm gonna shit all
over Beau Nerjoose.
555
00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:56,528
I'm gonna shit on Beau Nerjoose.
556
00:39:57,963 --> 00:40:00,566
Yeah, you know that you
have got nothing to lose.
557
00:40:01,767 --> 00:40:04,536
If I snooze I lose. I've
got to do what's right.
558
00:40:05,971 --> 00:40:09,475
Yeah you know you gotta
get the great fleshlight.
559
00:40:10,942 --> 00:40:13,512
'cause when the clock ticks
down, and I've got no time.
560
00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:18,450
You've gotta put your
balls on the fucking line.
561
00:40:19,317 --> 00:40:22,454
I will do what I need to do.
562
00:40:23,655 --> 00:40:25,524
Find that man and
make him eat poo.
563
00:40:26,391 --> 00:40:30,562
I'm gonna shit on Beau Nerjoose.
564
00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:38,637
Wait.
565
00:40:40,539 --> 00:40:43,441
The great tittle maggot
said that my mom was a whore
566
00:40:44,342 --> 00:40:45,611
who lived in a whore house
567
00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:47,546
with her sister
568
00:40:48,313 --> 00:40:49,447
who was also a whore.
569
00:40:50,348 --> 00:40:50,549
Are you my mom's whore...
570
00:40:51,182 --> 00:40:52,450
sister? Yes.
571
00:40:53,084 --> 00:40:53,485
Your aunt.
572
00:40:54,119 --> 00:40:54,586
Your whore-aunt.
573
00:40:56,555 --> 00:40:59,625
But you gave me a hand-job.
A really good one, too.
574
00:41:00,926 --> 00:41:02,728
That's disgusting.
Why didn't you say something?
575
00:41:04,195 --> 00:41:07,533
Well, I didn't realize who you
were until after the hand-job.
576
00:41:08,667 --> 00:41:10,536
And then I didn't want
to make things weird.
577
00:41:11,336 --> 00:41:12,638
Yeah, I guess you're right.
578
00:41:13,539 --> 00:41:15,541
You want another one, Ron?
579
00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:17,543
Family discount?
580
00:41:18,376 --> 00:41:19,611
In fact, it's on the house.
581
00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:20,679
No
582
00:41:21,547 --> 00:41:22,581
question about it.
583
00:41:30,556 --> 00:41:32,558
You sure did save some!
584
00:41:33,692 --> 00:41:36,562
Fuck REI, Ron.
585
00:41:37,929 --> 00:41:39,665
All you need for your trip
to dick mountain is in here.
586
00:41:41,567 --> 00:41:42,568
Thanks, Aunt Esmerelda.
587
00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:43,702
You're welcome.
588
00:41:45,103 --> 00:41:46,705
Now you have a treacherous
journey ahead of you,
589
00:41:48,173 --> 00:41:50,609
and Aunt Esmerelda can't
be around to jack you off,
590
00:41:51,777 --> 00:41:53,579
so here's something
for your wiener.
591
00:41:56,582 --> 00:41:58,584
Thanks, Aunt Esmerelda.
592
00:41:59,217 --> 00:42:00,719
You're so sweet.
593
00:42:01,587 --> 00:42:02,721
No kissing customers.
594
00:42:03,454 --> 00:42:04,590
It's one of my rules.
595
00:42:05,423 --> 00:42:06,625
It's one of my whore-rules.
596
00:42:07,092 --> 00:42:07,593
Oh.
597
00:42:08,727 --> 00:42:10,629
I understand.
598
00:42:11,697 --> 00:42:12,631
Good-bye Ron.
599
00:42:13,498 --> 00:42:14,666
Good-bye, Aunt Esmerelda.
600
00:42:34,686 --> 00:42:36,622
Oh...
601
00:42:37,422 --> 00:42:38,690
we're going up the mountain.
602
00:42:39,157 --> 00:42:40,726
To...
603
00:42:41,627 --> 00:42:42,728
get the great big fleshlight
604
00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:44,696
with...
605
00:42:45,430 --> 00:42:47,633
my friend the booty worm
606
00:42:48,033 --> 00:42:48,734
yeah...
607
00:42:49,635 --> 00:42:52,671
together gonna save the world.
608
00:42:54,673 --> 00:42:56,708
Save the world!
609
00:43:03,782 --> 00:43:05,684
Oh...
610
00:43:06,551 --> 00:43:07,753
we're going up the mountain.
611
00:43:08,654 --> 00:43:09,788
To...
612
00:43:10,656 --> 00:43:12,658
get the great big fleshlight
613
00:43:13,058 --> 00:43:13,759
with...
614
00:43:14,660 --> 00:43:16,662
my friend the booty worm
615
00:43:17,062 --> 00:43:18,664
yeah...
616
00:43:19,464 --> 00:43:20,799
together gonna save the world.
617
00:43:21,667 --> 00:43:21,800
Shhhhh!
618
00:43:22,668 --> 00:43:23,769
Hey, hey!
619
00:43:24,502 --> 00:43:25,804
What? What is it?
620
00:43:26,672 --> 00:43:28,707
I think we made it.
621
00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:30,809
I think we made it to
the top of dick mountain.
622
00:43:31,677 --> 00:43:32,678
How do you know?
623
00:43:33,879 --> 00:43:35,681
Well because I can
see a giant dick.
624
00:43:36,114 --> 00:43:37,783
Yes!
625
00:43:40,819 --> 00:43:42,688
Hey there.
626
00:43:46,692 --> 00:43:47,693
Hello, sir.
627
00:43:48,727 --> 00:43:50,696
My name's Ron.
628
00:43:51,496 --> 00:43:53,699
I'm here to save the universe.
629
00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:56,702
I'm on a quest to save my mom.
630
00:43:57,836 --> 00:43:59,705
She was the keeper
of the great dildo.
631
00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:02,874
until Dr. Beau Nerjoose
took it from her.
632
00:44:03,709 --> 00:44:04,743
Is this Dick Mountain?
633
00:44:06,712 --> 00:44:06,812
Ron!
634
00:44:07,278 --> 00:44:07,746
Shhh!
635
00:44:08,213 --> 00:44:08,346
Ron!
636
00:44:08,814 --> 00:44:09,715
Shhhhh!
637
00:44:11,717 --> 00:44:12,851
Hold on just one second.
638
00:44:15,854 --> 00:44:17,789
What do you want?
This is really embarrassing!
639
00:44:18,724 --> 00:44:19,758
Let me doing the talking.
640
00:44:20,926 --> 00:44:22,728
I can clear this whole
thing up real quick.
641
00:44:24,129 --> 00:44:25,731
No way! I'm not gonna shove my
butthole into that guy's face.
642
00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:28,867
No, no, no, no. I need to
talk to his booty worm.
643
00:44:29,835 --> 00:44:30,869
Fine!
644
00:44:32,971 --> 00:44:35,741
Um, do you wanna
go butt-to-butt?
645
00:44:45,884 --> 00:44:47,886
Hey, this guy's the chosen one.
646
00:44:48,954 --> 00:44:50,889
Really?
He kinda looks like an asshole.
647
00:44:51,757 --> 00:44:51,857
Are you sure?
648
00:44:52,457 --> 00:44:53,759
I'm pretty sure.
649
00:44:54,860 --> 00:44:55,761
His mom was the keeper
of the great dildo.
650
00:44:56,862 --> 00:44:57,896
What does he have to do
to get the fleshlight?
651
00:44:59,064 --> 00:45:01,767
He's got to prove his
worth to the fellowship.
652
00:45:02,934 --> 00:45:03,769
In order to get the
great fleshlight,
653
00:45:05,170 --> 00:45:06,805
he has to break all ten
commandments in 24 hours.
654
00:45:07,939 --> 00:45:09,775
Sounds pretty stupid
and convoluted.
655
00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:10,909
Yes. Yes it is,
656
00:45:11,777 --> 00:45:12,878
but once he breaks them,
657
00:45:14,012 --> 00:45:15,781
the great fleshlight
will appear before him.
658
00:45:16,481 --> 00:45:16,848
One more thing Phil.
659
00:45:18,016 --> 00:45:19,785
The chosen one must do
this without your help.
660
00:45:21,352 --> 00:45:22,888
You need to stay here
on dick mountain in this
bald guy's butthole.
661
00:45:23,621 --> 00:45:24,823
Ok, I'll tell him.
662
00:45:25,991 --> 00:45:27,793
May the dildo fuck
the fleshlight!
663
00:45:29,928 --> 00:45:30,896
Hey Ron!
664
00:45:31,797 --> 00:45:31,863
Yeah buddy?
665
00:45:32,463 --> 00:45:32,931
I got the info.
666
00:45:34,099 --> 00:45:37,869
You need to break
all 10 commandments
667
00:45:38,603 --> 00:45:39,938
What? Are you serious?
668
00:45:41,139 --> 00:45:42,808
And you have to do
this on your own.
669
00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:45,877
Please pick me up and pop me
in the old man's butthole.
670
00:45:47,045 --> 00:45:47,879
I don't know if I
can do this myself.
671
00:45:49,314 --> 00:45:50,816
I've been getting use to
having a worm in my butt.
672
00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:53,852
You can do this.
You're the chosen one.
673
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:56,822
Ok. I'll do it...
674
00:45:57,222 --> 00:45:57,823
for mom.
675
00:46:00,959 --> 00:46:02,894
Good luck, Ron!
676
00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:05,831
I enjoyed staying
in your butthole!
677
00:46:13,905 --> 00:46:15,874
Ten commandments.
678
00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:18,844
So... Are we good?
679
00:46:19,244 --> 00:46:19,945
Ok.
680
00:46:22,981 --> 00:46:24,850
This way?
681
00:46:38,930 --> 00:46:42,868
Thou shall not work
on the sabbath.
682
00:46:43,935 --> 00:46:45,904
What day is the sabbath?
683
00:46:46,872 --> 00:46:47,873
Sunday?
684
00:46:48,406 --> 00:46:48,974
What's today?
685
00:46:50,942 --> 00:46:52,878
Tuesday.
686
00:46:54,012 --> 00:46:55,881
Shit, I've got
some time to kill.
687
00:47:19,037 --> 00:47:23,008
Thou shalt not work
on the sabbath.
688
00:47:23,741 --> 00:47:25,043
Let's start out slow.
689
00:47:26,511 --> 00:47:30,015
Thou shall not take the name
of the lord thy God in vein.
690
00:47:34,019 --> 00:47:39,024
Jesus fucking Christ goddamn it
Mary Joseph cock-gobbling dicks!
691
00:47:49,034 --> 00:47:51,970
Honor thy father and thy mother.
692
00:47:59,010 --> 00:48:00,045
Boner-time.
693
00:48:00,778 --> 00:48:02,013
Hey Doctor, It's Ron.
694
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:02,981
Ron.
695
00:48:04,182 --> 00:48:04,950
Hey can you hold up
the phone to my mom?
696
00:48:05,483 --> 00:48:05,951
Yeah, Ron.
697
00:48:06,351 --> 00:48:06,952
Thanks.
698
00:48:07,618 --> 00:48:08,954
Hey mom. It's Ron.
699
00:48:09,955 --> 00:48:10,989
Fuck you!
and you know what?
700
00:48:12,323 --> 00:48:13,992
I don't know who dad was,
but fuck him too.
701
00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:15,961
He was probably a dick.
702
00:48:20,065 --> 00:48:23,068
Holy shit. What a good start!
703
00:48:49,995 --> 00:48:51,997
If you wanna win the fight,
704
00:48:53,198 --> 00:48:56,001
sometimes you gotta do
things you don't like.
705
00:48:56,734 --> 00:48:59,004
There's no easy way out.
706
00:49:01,006 --> 00:49:03,174
You can't have your doubts,
707
00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:06,011
'cause only the strong survive.
708
00:49:07,378 --> 00:49:11,049
You gotta sell your soul
if you wanna get out alive.
709
00:49:12,017 --> 00:49:13,018
You gotta be the best.
710
00:49:13,751 --> 00:49:14,152
You gotta be better...
711
00:49:15,020 --> 00:49:16,054
better than the rest
712
00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:17,088
to win the fight.
713
00:49:18,256 --> 00:49:20,125
You gotta be a little
better than that to win
714
00:49:21,026 --> 00:49:22,027
to win the fight
715
00:49:22,727 --> 00:49:25,030
to win the fight!
716
00:49:25,696 --> 00:49:27,065
Do it for boobies!
717
00:49:28,033 --> 00:49:30,135
Boo- boobies!
718
00:49:31,036 --> 00:49:32,103
Boo- boobies!
719
00:49:32,570 --> 00:49:34,039
Boobies!
720
00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:36,041
Boobies!
721
00:49:36,774 --> 00:49:38,076
Do it for boobies!
722
00:49:39,077 --> 00:49:42,047
Boo- boobies!
723
00:49:42,580 --> 00:49:44,049
Boo- boobies!
724
00:49:44,449 --> 00:49:45,083
Boobies!
725
00:49:45,550 --> 00:49:47,185
Boobies!
726
00:49:49,054 --> 00:49:51,056
Take no prisoners.
727
00:49:51,922 --> 00:49:54,059
You gotta have a burning desire!
728
00:49:55,226 --> 00:49:58,063
You gotta beat them
at their own game.
729
00:50:00,098 --> 00:50:03,000
You gotta be a believer.
730
00:50:03,734 --> 00:50:04,169
Show them what you got.
731
00:50:05,370 --> 00:50:10,007
No pain, no gain, never
back down. No surrender.
732
00:50:11,076 --> 00:50:12,143
You gotta be the best.
733
00:50:12,877 --> 00:50:14,045
You gotta be better...
734
00:50:14,779 --> 00:50:15,180
better than the rest
735
00:50:15,913 --> 00:50:16,214
to win the fight.
736
00:50:17,382 --> 00:50:19,217
You gotta be a little
better than that to win
737
00:50:20,051 --> 00:50:21,119
to win the fight
738
00:50:21,852 --> 00:50:24,089
to win the fight!
739
00:50:24,822 --> 00:50:26,157
Do it for boobies!
740
00:50:27,092 --> 00:50:30,027
Boo- boobies!
741
00:50:30,628 --> 00:50:32,029
Boo- boobies!
742
00:50:32,497 --> 00:50:33,131
Boobies!
743
00:50:33,598 --> 00:50:36,167
Boobies!
744
00:50:36,901 --> 00:50:38,035
You gotta be the best.
745
00:50:38,769 --> 00:50:39,137
You gotta be better...
746
00:50:39,904 --> 00:50:41,038
better than the rest
747
00:50:41,806 --> 00:50:42,073
to win the fight.
748
00:50:43,274 --> 00:50:45,110
You gotta be a little
better than that to win
749
00:50:45,743 --> 00:50:46,211
to win the fight
750
00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:49,247
to win the fight!
751
00:50:50,047 --> 00:50:52,049
Do it for boobies!
752
00:50:52,817 --> 00:50:54,152
Thou shall not kill.
753
00:50:54,919 --> 00:50:56,053
Oh, I can't do that.
754
00:50:56,821 --> 00:50:57,188
and commit adultery?
755
00:50:58,356 --> 00:50:59,257
I can't even get
my wife to fuck me.
756
00:51:03,261 --> 00:51:05,263
They're gonna kill
my mom in two hours.
757
00:51:06,131 --> 00:51:08,166
Everything is so convoluted!
758
00:51:10,201 --> 00:51:12,137
I don't even know what to do.
759
00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:16,207
I don't even know
what to hope to do.
760
00:51:18,143 --> 00:51:22,180
What is the color
of my hope tonight?
761
00:51:24,149 --> 00:51:28,286
What is the color
of my hope tonight?
762
00:51:31,156 --> 00:51:35,160
I just couldn't do it.
763
00:51:37,162 --> 00:51:41,166
I just couldn't kill yet.
764
00:51:42,333 --> 00:51:46,237
What is the color
of my hope tonight?
765
00:51:48,173 --> 00:51:53,178
What is the color
of my hope tonight?
766
00:51:55,180 --> 00:51:58,249
I just couldn't do it.
767
00:52:01,186 --> 00:52:06,191
I just couldn't kill yet.
768
00:52:07,325 --> 00:52:12,197
I just wanted the
great fleshlight!
769
00:52:13,198 --> 00:52:18,203
So I could save the universe!
770
00:52:19,370 --> 00:52:24,209
I just wanted the
great fleshlight!
771
00:52:25,210 --> 00:52:30,215
So I could save the universe!
772
00:52:31,349 --> 00:52:34,285
What is the color
of my hope tonight?
773
00:52:37,355 --> 00:52:39,257
Ron!
774
00:52:39,724 --> 00:52:40,358
Hello?
775
00:52:41,226 --> 00:52:42,227
Ron, I need you.
776
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:43,328
Please save me.
777
00:52:43,928 --> 00:52:44,362
Who are you?
778
00:52:45,230 --> 00:52:46,364
I'm Hope. I'm lost.
779
00:52:47,232 --> 00:52:48,333
Please find me. Save me.
780
00:52:49,234 --> 00:52:50,235
What? How? Where are you?
781
00:52:51,636 --> 00:52:53,338
Ron, do something. Dr. Beau
Nerjoose has captured me.
782
00:52:54,539 --> 00:52:55,373
Although life ain't all
about ass and titties,
783
00:52:56,574 --> 00:52:57,375
ass and titties are
a big part of it.
784
00:52:58,276 --> 00:53:00,245
Please find my ass and titties
785
00:53:00,945 --> 00:53:02,247
for the universe.
786
00:53:07,385 --> 00:53:09,254
No!
787
00:53:21,332 --> 00:53:23,268
I can do it!
788
00:53:27,372 --> 00:53:30,275
How will I find the
elusive Beau Nerjoose?
789
00:53:31,008 --> 00:53:33,411
I know. The phonebook.
790
00:53:41,286 --> 00:53:43,354
I need a fucking taxi.
791
00:53:43,954 --> 00:53:45,290
Ron's house.
792
00:53:47,325 --> 00:53:49,294
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
793
00:53:50,461 --> 00:53:51,296
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
794
00:53:52,463 --> 00:53:53,298
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
795
00:53:54,465 --> 00:53:55,366
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
796
00:53:56,534 --> 00:53:59,370
I'm gonna find you
if it takes all day.
797
00:54:00,538 --> 00:54:03,374
And nothing's gonna
fuckin' stand in my way.
798
00:54:04,542 --> 00:54:05,310
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
799
00:54:06,477 --> 00:54:07,345
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
800
00:54:08,513 --> 00:54:09,314
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
801
00:54:10,481 --> 00:54:11,449
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
802
00:54:12,617 --> 00:54:15,453
Beau Nerjoose, you made
me drive so far south.
803
00:54:16,621 --> 00:54:19,357
Beau Nerjoose, I can
taste you in my mouth.
804
00:54:20,525 --> 00:54:21,326
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
805
00:54:22,493 --> 00:54:23,328
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
806
00:54:24,495 --> 00:54:25,363
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
807
00:54:26,531 --> 00:54:27,465
Hot on the trail
of Beau Nerjoose.
808
00:54:29,334 --> 00:54:29,434
Keep the change.
809
00:54:30,335 --> 00:54:30,435
Thank you.
810
00:54:31,436 --> 00:54:33,338
No.
811
00:54:34,038 --> 00:54:35,373
I don't kiss my clients.
812
00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:37,375
It's one of my rules.
813
00:54:38,509 --> 00:54:40,345
It's one of my
taxi-driver-rules.
814
00:54:40,878 --> 00:54:41,379
I understand.
815
00:54:43,381 --> 00:54:44,382
Have a good night.
816
00:55:21,386 --> 00:55:23,421
Time to shit or get off the pot.
817
00:55:33,431 --> 00:55:34,532
A pass code.
818
00:55:37,535 --> 00:55:40,471
One, two, three, four, five.
819
00:55:42,540 --> 00:55:45,510
Sixty-nine, sixty-nine.
820
00:55:46,511 --> 00:55:48,446
C'mon Ron, think!
821
00:55:50,448 --> 00:55:53,551
The secret to life is
to smoke pot every day.
822
00:55:54,752 --> 00:55:58,523
Twenty-four seven,
three sixty-five.
823
00:55:59,424 --> 00:56:00,525
It'll get you into places.
824
00:56:03,461 --> 00:56:06,431
Four-twenty,
825
00:56:07,097 --> 00:56:09,434
twenty-four seven,
826
00:56:10,167 --> 00:56:11,469
three sixty-five!
827
00:56:29,454 --> 00:56:30,521
For the last time, Hope
828
00:56:30,988 --> 00:56:31,456
Hope.
829
00:56:32,289 --> 00:56:34,525
Where is the great fleshlight?
830
00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:36,561
For the last time
Dr. Beau Nerjoose,
831
00:56:37,161 --> 00:56:38,463
I don't know.
832
00:56:38,996 --> 00:56:39,530
Beau Nerjoose.
833
00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:40,598
Fine!
834
00:56:42,032 --> 00:56:44,502
If you won't tell me where
the great fleshlight is,
835
00:56:45,369 --> 00:56:48,573
then I will have to destroy you.
836
00:56:51,476 --> 00:56:53,478
No you don't, Beau Nerjoose!
837
00:57:02,487 --> 00:57:03,621
How did you get in here?
838
00:57:04,789 --> 00:57:06,557
That's for me to know
and you to find out.
839
00:57:07,658 --> 00:57:09,627
Yeah. I know.
That's why I asked.
840
00:57:10,495 --> 00:57:12,497
I never understood that phrase.
841
00:57:13,297 --> 00:57:13,564
What's with the candy bar?
842
00:57:14,298 --> 00:57:16,567
Who the fuck are you?
843
00:57:17,502 --> 00:57:18,636
I'm your worst nightmare.
844
00:57:20,638 --> 00:57:24,509
You mean, you mean the
one where I'm jacking off
in my car at the drive-in
845
00:57:25,576 --> 00:57:27,512
and I start shitting
all over myself,
846
00:57:28,779 --> 00:57:30,515
and the shit keeps
getting higher and higher,
847
00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:33,551
and I have to eat the shit
to keep my head above it,
848
00:57:34,985 --> 00:57:36,521
but there's just so much
shit that I start choking
849
00:57:37,688 --> 00:57:38,656
on the shit, just
when I'm jizzing!
850
00:57:39,524 --> 00:57:40,658
That's who you are?
851
00:57:41,526 --> 00:57:42,660
No, I'm Ron.
852
00:57:43,528 --> 00:57:44,562
Ron Wartyhymen.
853
00:57:45,162 --> 00:57:46,531
Wartyhymen?
854
00:57:47,331 --> 00:57:48,533
That name rings my balls.
855
00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:49,534
Oh I know.
856
00:57:51,168 --> 00:57:54,572
I used to have sex with
a woman named Wartyhymen
many many many times.
857
00:57:56,607 --> 00:57:58,609
You're fucking
dead, Beau Nerjoose.
858
00:57:59,544 --> 00:58:01,679
Dead? Right.
Gentlemen.
859
00:58:02,547 --> 00:58:03,648
Yes sir. Right away, sir.
860
00:58:26,604 --> 00:58:27,672
How long was I out?
861
00:58:28,405 --> 00:58:29,640
Just a few minutes.
862
00:58:31,576 --> 00:58:33,578
Oh Ron, I'm so glad
you're here. I was hoping
you'd come and save me.
863
00:58:37,715 --> 00:58:41,619
I don't think I'm gonna
be able to save you.
We're pretty much fucked.
864
00:58:42,987 --> 00:58:45,656
No, Ron. Now that you're
here, we're not fucked at all.
865
00:58:47,658 --> 00:58:49,694
For you're the chosen one.
You're gonna deliver the
light into the darkness.
866
00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:52,597
I don't think so.
867
00:58:53,998 --> 00:58:55,633
Didn't you see me just try and
fight that guy with a candy bar?
868
00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:58,636
Yeah. It was cute.
869
00:58:59,737 --> 00:59:02,607
Really? You thought
that was cute?
870
00:59:03,007 --> 00:59:03,140
Yeah.
871
00:59:05,175 --> 00:59:09,614
Sister Fuckface always
said the chosen ones use
the least chosen methods.
872
00:59:11,015 --> 00:59:13,684
Sister Fuckface. I met her
and the other space nuns.
873
00:59:14,885 --> 00:59:16,754
They said that Dr. Beau
Nerjoose kidnapped you.
874
00:59:17,622 --> 00:59:18,656
How long have you been here?
875
00:59:19,857 --> 00:59:21,759
A week. I think, but it
feels like an eternity.
876
00:59:23,193 --> 00:59:24,729
Dr. Beau Nerjoose is looking
for the great fleshlight.
877
00:59:25,630 --> 00:59:26,697
I know.
878
00:59:28,132 --> 00:59:29,667
I too have been looking
for the great fleshlight.
879
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:31,702
Do you know where it is?
880
00:59:32,169 --> 00:59:33,638
No.
881
00:59:34,438 --> 00:59:35,740
I'm afraid all is lost hope.
882
00:59:37,174 --> 00:59:38,643
I tried to find the great
fleshlight. I really tried.
883
00:59:39,777 --> 00:59:40,645
It's as if it's right
there in front on me.
884
00:59:41,779 --> 00:59:43,648
I just can't reach
out and grab it.
885
00:59:47,652 --> 00:59:48,786
Fuck it. I'm giving up.
886
00:59:50,220 --> 00:59:54,659
Ron. Listen to me. You can't
give up. You can do this.
887
00:59:55,826 --> 00:59:59,664
No I can't. I totally
failed. I'm a failure.
888
01:00:01,065 --> 01:00:01,766
Without failure, we'd never
know what it is to succeed.
889
01:00:02,833 --> 01:00:04,635
The only real failure
is to give up.
890
01:00:06,070 --> 01:00:08,806
Did Jesus give up when he was on
the cross, dying for our sins?
891
01:00:10,808 --> 01:00:13,644
Yeah, kinda.
892
01:00:14,511 --> 01:00:17,815
Oh. Ok, that was a bad example.
893
01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:19,684
Yeah.
894
01:00:21,686 --> 01:00:25,622
Did the kids from Footloose give
up when their parents told them
they couldn't dance anymore?
895
01:00:26,090 --> 01:00:26,691
No.
896
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:28,659
No, fuck no!
897
01:00:29,827 --> 01:00:30,761
They danced their
goddamn hearts out.
898
01:00:31,929 --> 01:00:32,763
Yeah they did. And
they didn't give up.
899
01:00:33,497 --> 01:00:34,765
And neither should you.
900
01:00:35,365 --> 01:00:35,833
You're right.
901
01:00:37,034 --> 01:00:39,670
But in order to make the
great fleshlight appear,
902
01:00:41,271 --> 01:00:43,741
I have to break a couple
more commandments, and
they're tough ones.
903
01:00:44,641 --> 01:00:45,642
I won't be able to do it alone.
904
01:00:46,410 --> 01:00:46,811
Well, can I help?
905
01:00:48,012 --> 01:00:49,780
I mean, the universe
is at stake, Ron.
906
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:51,816
Well...
907
01:00:54,785 --> 01:00:56,754
I have to commit adultery.
908
01:00:57,387 --> 01:00:57,855
You're married?
909
01:01:00,457 --> 01:01:03,728
Technically, but now she's
banging some guy with a
belly button ring, so I'm
pretty sure it's over.
910
01:01:04,795 --> 01:01:05,863
Oh.
911
01:01:06,731 --> 01:01:07,765
I'm sorry.
912
01:01:08,498 --> 01:01:09,734
No. It's ok. She sucks.
913
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:14,772
But I'm a nun. I can't have sex.
914
01:01:15,639 --> 01:01:15,873
I mean, I'm a bride of christ.
915
01:01:17,274 --> 01:01:19,744
That's not just committing
adultery. That's committing...
916
01:01:20,277 --> 01:01:20,811
devine adultery.
917
01:01:26,817 --> 01:01:28,753
Yeah. No, I understand.
918
01:01:30,755 --> 01:01:31,822
That's too bad.
919
01:01:32,757 --> 01:01:34,759
Yeah, I guess it's too bad.
920
01:01:36,761 --> 01:01:38,763
Too bad for the universe.
921
01:01:39,930 --> 01:01:42,767
Well I mean, if it's
for the universe...
922
01:01:43,934 --> 01:01:45,803
I guess I could do
it just this once.
923
01:01:46,403 --> 01:01:47,772
Just this once?
924
01:01:48,538 --> 01:01:49,774
For the universe.
925
01:01:52,810 --> 01:01:54,845
Gotta give it up.
926
01:01:56,881 --> 01:02:00,818
Just this once
927
01:02:02,787 --> 01:02:07,792
to save the universe.
928
01:02:09,927 --> 01:02:12,897
I'm a slutty, space nun.
929
01:02:14,832 --> 01:02:17,802
Yeah, I'm a harlot.
930
01:02:19,804 --> 01:02:23,808
I'm a dick-smoking
skank that feeds on cock
931
01:02:24,541 --> 01:02:26,944
to mother fucking live.
932
01:02:27,812 --> 01:02:30,815
So put it in my frum frum.
933
01:02:31,816 --> 01:02:34,885
then stuff it in my bum bum.
934
01:02:36,887 --> 01:02:40,925
And I will lick
your butt and stuff,
935
01:02:41,826 --> 01:02:45,830
and it's gonna be awesome.
936
01:02:46,363 --> 01:02:47,832
Dirty sanchez.
937
01:02:48,398 --> 01:02:51,936
Un tiempo
938
01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:56,974
para universo.
939
01:02:58,142 --> 01:03:01,879
One time for the
universe. One time.
940
01:03:02,847 --> 01:03:04,949
One time for the universe.
941
01:03:05,850 --> 01:03:09,854
Un tiempo
942
01:03:10,387 --> 01:03:14,859
para universo.
943
01:03:15,993 --> 01:03:18,996
One time for the
universe. One time.
944
01:03:19,864 --> 01:03:22,867
One time for the universe.
945
01:03:23,433 --> 01:03:26,937
Un tiempo
946
01:03:27,537 --> 01:03:31,976
para universo.
947
01:03:33,110 --> 01:03:36,914
One time for the
universe. One time.
948
01:03:37,781 --> 01:03:39,984
One time for the universe.
949
01:03:40,584 --> 01:03:44,021
Un tiempo
950
01:03:44,889 --> 01:03:49,894
para universo.
951
01:03:50,995 --> 01:03:54,031
One time for the
universe. One time.
952
01:03:54,899 --> 01:03:57,902
One time for the universe.
953
01:03:58,435 --> 01:04:01,972
Un tiempo.
954
01:04:04,074 --> 01:04:06,911
What's going on in here?
955
01:04:07,577 --> 01:04:09,914
A little hanky panky?
956
01:04:10,714 --> 01:04:12,016
How monastic of you, Hope!
957
01:04:12,482 --> 01:04:13,918
Here.
958
01:04:14,919 --> 01:04:16,020
Clean yourself up.
959
01:04:18,989 --> 01:04:22,026
Well I trust you
enjoyed yourself, Ron.
960
01:04:22,626 --> 01:04:24,061
I wouldn't know.
961
01:04:25,262 --> 01:04:27,031
I haven't had sex
in over 20 years.
962
01:04:28,498 --> 01:04:30,968
And it's all because of that
whore-witch mother of yours!
963
01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:33,003
You shut the fuck up.
964
01:04:34,004 --> 01:04:35,940
My mother was a whore,
965
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:37,942
but she's not a witch.
966
01:04:38,475 --> 01:04:38,976
I don't think.
967
01:04:39,944 --> 01:04:40,945
What did you do to her?
968
01:04:41,611 --> 01:04:41,946
What did I do to her?
969
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:44,081
More like, what
did she do to me?
970
01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:48,085
Just because I got a
little rough with her...
971
01:04:48,953 --> 01:04:50,955
Once...
972
01:04:51,355 --> 01:04:51,956
Once.
973
01:04:53,958 --> 01:04:56,060
Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.
974
01:04:56,526 --> 01:04:58,095
Groovy.
975
01:04:58,963 --> 01:05:00,097
I'm ready to get some ass on.
976
01:05:00,965 --> 01:05:01,999
Sorry Beau.
977
01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,001
I'm outta commish.
978
01:05:05,169 --> 01:05:06,971
I've got a raging
yeast infection.
979
01:05:07,637 --> 01:05:08,038
Fuck that, Agnes.
980
01:05:09,439 --> 01:05:12,109
You know I don't give a
shit about some yeasty puss.
981
01:05:12,977 --> 01:05:14,011
How 'bout I give you a poke,
982
01:05:15,379 --> 01:05:17,982
and then you can chow
down on my pig in a blanket?
983
01:05:18,515 --> 01:05:19,049
Fuck off, Beau!
984
01:05:19,783 --> 01:05:21,018
I'm not working today.
985
01:05:21,751 --> 01:05:22,019
Come back tomorrow.
986
01:05:23,620 --> 01:05:27,057
Oh, Agnes. It's so cute
that you think you have
a say in the matter.
987
01:05:27,992 --> 01:05:28,993
Now give me some.
988
01:05:30,127 --> 01:05:32,997
No Beau! Get your
boner away from me!
989
01:05:33,730 --> 01:05:37,001
And then, we made love.
990
01:05:37,901 --> 01:05:39,003
No you didn't.
You raped her.
991
01:05:40,004 --> 01:05:41,105
Tomato, potato.
992
01:05:42,272 --> 01:05:45,009
Get the fuck out of
my room, you bastard!
993
01:05:46,110 --> 01:05:49,013
Come on, Agnes! It's
not gonna suck itself.
994
01:05:50,047 --> 01:05:52,049
It will from now on.
995
01:05:59,089 --> 01:06:00,124
From now on,
996
01:06:01,158 --> 01:06:03,060
your dick will
constantly suck itself!
997
01:06:04,028 --> 01:06:06,030
You're never gonna rape again!
998
01:06:15,039 --> 01:06:16,140
Oh, I know what
you're thinking, Ron.
999
01:06:16,873 --> 01:06:19,043
Ooo, that's pretty cool!
1000
01:06:20,144 --> 01:06:21,045
Having a dick that
can suck itself.
1001
01:06:21,578 --> 01:06:23,047
Well, it is...
1002
01:06:27,051 --> 01:06:28,152
for a while.
1003
01:06:30,054 --> 01:06:33,190
I was standing in your mothers
whore-den for ten hours
before I realized this...
1004
01:06:35,125 --> 01:06:38,062
was a curse.
1005
01:06:40,164 --> 01:06:43,200
I'm never gonna come again!
1006
01:06:44,601 --> 01:06:48,072
It turns out my dick's pretty
terrible at sucking dick.
1007
01:06:49,239 --> 01:06:51,075
So I took my revenge
upon your mother.
1008
01:06:52,176 --> 01:06:54,178
I stole the great
dildo from her butthole
1009
01:06:54,911 --> 01:06:56,180
and along with it,
1010
01:06:56,780 --> 01:06:59,183
her sanity.
1011
01:06:59,649 --> 01:07:01,218
Oh.
1012
01:07:02,086 --> 01:07:03,120
Now I get it.
1013
01:07:04,554 --> 01:07:08,158
And my dick has been
sucking itself ever since!
1014
01:07:09,093 --> 01:07:12,096
Oh my God. That's disgusting!
1015
01:07:13,263 --> 01:07:16,233
It looks like it's
trying to uncirucumsize itself.
1016
01:07:19,136 --> 01:07:21,105
Is that hair?
1017
01:07:23,107 --> 01:07:24,141
It is awful.
1018
01:07:25,309 --> 01:07:28,112
But I thought once I
stole the great dildo,
1019
01:07:28,912 --> 01:07:29,113
the curse would be broken,
1020
01:07:30,514 --> 01:07:32,249
but alas I needed the
great fleshlight as well.
1021
01:07:33,117 --> 01:07:36,120
Once I put my penis inside it,
1022
01:07:36,986 --> 01:07:39,123
the curse will be broken!
1023
01:07:40,690 --> 01:07:43,127
I know exactly what
needs to be done to get
the great fleshlight,
1024
01:07:44,228 --> 01:07:46,230
and I've brought Ron
here to do just that.
1025
01:07:48,031 --> 01:07:52,136
You see, I've been
measuring the seismic shifts
for the last 24 hours.
1026
01:07:54,003 --> 01:07:57,174
I know that Ron has one let
commandment to break before
the great fleshlight appears...
1027
01:07:58,208 --> 01:07:59,276
Murder.
1028
01:08:06,183 --> 01:08:08,185
Such a pity.
1029
01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:10,220
Oh, this is shitty.
1030
01:08:13,157 --> 01:08:14,158
Halt.
1031
01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:17,194
Ron,
1032
01:08:18,162 --> 01:08:19,196
Are you familiar
with the phrase,
1033
01:08:20,330 --> 01:08:23,300
"Shit in one hand,
hope in the other, and
1034
01:08:24,168 --> 01:08:26,170
see which one fills up faster?"
1035
01:08:27,237 --> 01:08:29,173
I don't think so.
1036
01:08:30,340 --> 01:08:34,244
After tonight, you will
never, ever forget it.
1037
01:08:35,312 --> 01:08:38,182
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
1038
01:08:38,848 --> 01:08:43,187
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
1039
01:08:46,190 --> 01:08:49,193
Lock him into position!
1040
01:08:55,332 --> 01:08:58,268
Now, as you may
have gathered, Ron,
1041
01:08:59,203 --> 01:09:03,307
This contraption
acts as a scale.
1042
01:09:07,311 --> 01:09:10,214
Lock Hope into position!
1043
01:09:12,282 --> 01:09:17,221
As you can see, Ron, this
thingamabob which I have called,
1044
01:09:18,087 --> 01:09:20,257
"The scales of Joostice!"
1045
01:09:20,857 --> 01:09:22,226
or "Whack-a-ho."
1046
01:09:23,327 --> 01:09:24,228
I'm going back and
forth. I can't decide.
1047
01:09:25,094 --> 01:09:27,231
It will allow you to murder.
1048
01:09:28,031 --> 01:09:31,235
In one hand, you will have hope.
1049
01:09:31,968 --> 01:09:34,371
In the other... Shit!
1050
01:09:35,539 --> 01:09:37,374
Shit. Shit.
We need more shit. More shit!
1051
01:09:39,343 --> 01:09:42,312
Ha, ha, ha!
1052
01:09:43,280 --> 01:09:45,282
Oh, and Hope,
1053
01:09:47,251 --> 01:09:50,287
if you look up you'll see
a Hunter-Douglas brand
high-speed, oscillating fan
1054
01:09:51,421 --> 01:09:53,257
made of solid,
razor-sharp steel.
1055
01:09:55,325 --> 01:09:57,261
Ron could save you,
1056
01:09:57,861 --> 01:09:58,395
hypothetically,
1057
01:10:00,397 --> 01:10:04,200
but instead I think
he will murder you...
1058
01:10:04,801 --> 01:10:05,235
to death...
1059
01:10:07,304 --> 01:10:08,204
forever!
1060
01:10:10,374 --> 01:10:11,308
No!
1061
01:10:12,041 --> 01:10:13,277
No. No. wait. Hold on.
1062
01:10:14,010 --> 01:10:14,411
How is this Ron's fault?
1063
01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:16,212
This isn't murder.
1064
01:10:17,080 --> 01:10:17,281
Oh really? Is that what you?
1065
01:10:18,448 --> 01:10:19,383
Well, either way,
you'll be dead.
1066
01:10:20,517 --> 01:10:24,220
So fuck off and
die, Hope. Forever.
1067
01:10:24,954 --> 01:10:26,323
Ron, you can do it.
1068
01:10:27,056 --> 01:10:28,292
It's ok if you kill me,
1069
01:10:29,459 --> 01:10:31,261
but I have to tell
you something first.
1070
01:10:31,861 --> 01:10:32,296
What is it?
1071
01:10:32,896 --> 01:10:35,265
I have HPV.
1072
01:10:36,700 --> 01:10:40,304
Everybody has HPV. Seriously.
Everybody. But I don't care.
1073
01:10:42,272 --> 01:10:45,375
I've loved you since
yesterday when I saw your
tits for the first time.
1074
01:10:53,283 --> 01:10:54,451
If you're struggling now,
1075
01:10:55,685 --> 01:10:59,356
just wait till the
shit hits the fan.
1076
01:11:02,459 --> 01:11:05,329
There's something else
I have to tell you.
1077
01:11:05,862 --> 01:11:06,363
What is it?
1078
01:11:07,831 --> 01:11:09,399
Well, it's really not a big
deal, but when I was a kid,
1079
01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,336
I found this litter of puppies
and they were really cute.
1080
01:11:13,403 --> 01:11:13,537
They had been abandoned
by their mother,
1081
01:11:15,004 --> 01:11:18,475
and they were just this really
adorable, little balls of fur.
1082
01:11:20,477 --> 01:11:25,482
I put them in a box
with cotton balls and
soaked them with gasoline
1083
01:11:26,683 --> 01:11:29,419
and lit 'em on fire and
put them out on a lake,
1084
01:11:30,554 --> 01:11:33,357
and it was like a viking
funeral for puppies.
1085
01:11:34,391 --> 01:11:36,493
That's not...
That's not that bad.
1086
01:11:38,362 --> 01:11:40,497
More shit! We need more
shit, you shit heads!
1087
01:11:41,365 --> 01:11:42,399
Sir, we're almost out of shit.
1088
01:11:42,999 --> 01:11:45,402
Well, make more.
1089
01:11:46,269 --> 01:11:47,371
Yes sir. Right away, sir.
1090
01:11:48,505 --> 01:11:52,376
Ron, is there anything
you want to tell me?
1091
01:11:52,809 --> 01:11:55,379
Uh...
1092
01:11:55,812 --> 01:11:56,380
Nope.
1093
01:12:06,390 --> 01:12:06,523
Yes.
1094
01:12:13,397 --> 01:12:15,399
No!
1095
01:12:29,413 --> 01:12:33,417
Nuns, what are you doing here?
You're ruining everything!
1096
01:12:34,518 --> 01:12:37,421
I'm about to eat your
dick, Beau Nerjoose!
1097
01:12:38,422 --> 01:12:39,456
Henchmen!
1098
01:12:40,056 --> 01:12:43,493
Get them!
1099
01:12:49,433 --> 01:12:50,534
Oh shit!
1100
01:13:04,481 --> 01:13:05,482
Ron, listen to me.
1101
01:13:06,916 --> 01:13:08,452
You must find his weakness
and use it against him.
1102
01:13:09,152 --> 01:13:10,520
Everyone has a weakness.
1103
01:13:15,459 --> 01:13:16,460
No, No!
1104
01:13:17,561 --> 01:13:19,463
Yeah, you're
ticklish aren't you?
1105
01:13:20,630 --> 01:13:21,498
You're tickling
him far too much!
1106
01:13:29,506 --> 01:13:31,475
Don't get your boogers on it.
1107
01:13:58,502 --> 01:14:00,504
Oh yeah!
1108
01:14:08,545 --> 01:14:10,547
I knew he could do it.
1109
01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:11,648
I can't believe it.
1110
01:14:12,516 --> 01:14:15,519
Now it will appear.
1111
01:14:16,419 --> 01:14:17,521
Where is it?
Where is it?
1112
01:14:19,556 --> 01:14:21,525
Ron!
Look.
1113
01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:23,527
There it is.
1114
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,536
It's beautiful.
1115
01:14:33,903 --> 01:14:37,607
Give it to me you little shit.
The curse must be lifted.
1116
01:14:38,341 --> 01:14:39,676
Fuck you, Beau Nerjoose.
1117
01:14:40,544 --> 01:14:42,546
I must have the fleshlight.
1118
01:14:43,212 --> 01:14:44,548
I need the dildo.
1119
01:14:44,948 --> 01:14:45,682
Well...
1120
01:14:46,816 --> 01:14:48,585
Then you see our
delimma, don't you?
1121
01:14:52,556 --> 01:14:54,558
We must fight.
1122
01:14:54,958 --> 01:14:55,592
Oh shit.
1123
01:14:57,594 --> 01:15:02,566
You can do it, Ron.
I believe in you.
1124
01:15:03,366 --> 01:15:05,635
I've got to. To save mom.
1125
01:15:06,369 --> 01:15:07,604
To save the universe.
1126
01:15:37,601 --> 01:15:39,603
Oh fucking shit-dicks!
1127
01:15:40,737 --> 01:15:44,608
And now, the power of
the universe is mine!
1128
01:15:45,742 --> 01:15:48,612
Ah, yes!
1129
01:15:50,046 --> 01:15:53,617
Ron, you mustn't let him jam
the great dildo up his butt.
1130
01:16:08,632 --> 01:16:10,667
He cut his teeth off.
1131
01:16:14,638 --> 01:16:15,639
Get out of here!
1132
01:16:16,505 --> 01:16:17,674
I'm coming right behind you!
1133
01:16:22,779 --> 01:16:23,747
You good?
1134
01:16:28,652 --> 01:16:29,653
Yeah, I'm good.
1135
01:16:30,787 --> 01:16:31,655
No!
1136
01:16:32,121 --> 01:16:32,656
No!
1137
01:16:33,690 --> 01:16:35,659
Not the dildo!
1138
01:16:38,762 --> 01:16:40,797
No!
1139
01:16:44,801 --> 01:16:49,806
Holy shit! It's crumbling
before our very eyes!
1140
01:16:50,707 --> 01:16:51,808
I can't believe it!
1141
01:16:53,342 --> 01:16:56,746
It would be so expensive
to recreate this in
a cinematic medium.
1142
01:16:58,214 --> 01:17:01,685
I can't believe I left it in
there. I've got to go back.
1143
01:17:02,385 --> 01:17:02,686
I've come all this way.
1144
01:17:03,419 --> 01:17:04,721
No Ron. Don't do that.
1145
01:17:05,588 --> 01:17:06,790
You have the great dildo now.
1146
01:17:07,691 --> 01:17:09,793
You can save your whore-mother.
1147
01:17:11,761 --> 01:17:12,729
You're right, Hope.
1148
01:17:15,732 --> 01:17:17,701
Oh, it's my friend, Zach.
1149
01:17:18,301 --> 01:17:18,768
Come on, ladies.
1150
01:17:27,711 --> 01:17:29,746
Hey buddy.
1151
01:17:30,714 --> 01:17:31,781
Who are you new friends?
1152
01:17:32,381 --> 01:17:32,816
Shut up, Zach.
1153
01:17:34,718 --> 01:17:35,752
No time to explain.
1154
01:17:37,353 --> 01:17:39,723
We've got to get to the
Don't Stop Bereaving
Funeral Home Karoke Bar.
1155
01:17:40,890 --> 01:17:42,759
Alright. Hold on to
your tits, ladies.
1156
01:17:45,729 --> 01:17:46,830
So what was Beau Nerjoose
doing back there?
1157
01:17:48,264 --> 01:17:48,865
It looks like he shoving his
penis in the great fleshlight
1158
01:17:50,333 --> 01:17:51,801
and he was gonna shove this
great dildo up his butthole.
1159
01:17:53,136 --> 01:17:55,739
Oh Ron, the great fleshlight
and the great dildo
1160
01:17:57,073 --> 01:17:58,742
must be combined together
to bring world peace,
1161
01:17:59,408 --> 01:17:59,743
but not that way.
1162
01:18:00,810 --> 01:18:01,745
Beau Nerjoose knows
that if he reunites them
1163
01:18:02,746 --> 01:18:03,847
on his penis and
up his butthole,
1164
01:18:05,081 --> 01:18:06,750
then he can use his
taint as a conduit
1165
01:18:07,817 --> 01:18:09,886
to gain ultimate power
over the universe.
1166
01:18:12,856 --> 01:18:13,890
Seriously?
1167
01:18:15,091 --> 01:18:17,761
Yes, and Ron, we can
not let that happen.
1168
01:18:18,895 --> 01:18:19,829
The great dildo and
the great fleshlight
1169
01:18:20,764 --> 01:18:21,898
have to be combined directly.
1170
01:18:23,066 --> 01:18:24,801
Whoa. What are you
guys talking about?
1171
01:18:26,235 --> 01:18:28,905
Shut the fuck up Zach. I told
you. There's no time to explain.
1172
01:18:29,773 --> 01:18:30,807
Here it is. Pull over.
1173
01:18:43,920 --> 01:18:48,925
Alright, buddy. Just give me
a call later or something.
1174
01:18:51,828 --> 01:18:55,799
You ever hit me with a
dildo again, I'll kill you.
1175
01:19:00,804 --> 01:19:03,940
On the end of my dick was
your butt baby brother.
1176
01:19:04,808 --> 01:19:06,810
Aborted butt bro.
1177
01:19:07,911 --> 01:19:10,880
He'd been removed from
the ass of your mother.
1178
01:19:11,480 --> 01:19:12,916
Where did he go?
1179
01:19:14,818 --> 01:19:17,821
I shot my wad in such a way.
1180
01:19:18,387 --> 01:19:19,823
In such a way.
1181
01:19:20,990 --> 01:19:23,960
That your brother
flew covered in my
1182
01:19:24,828 --> 01:19:26,930
Mother-fucking jizz-spray.
1183
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:30,867
I'm so glad that Agnes
wanted her funeral here.
1184
01:19:32,035 --> 01:19:33,870
She always did love
to party, didn't she?
1185
01:19:40,910 --> 01:19:41,911
Alright!
1186
01:19:42,846 --> 01:19:43,980
Let's get this party started!
1187
01:19:44,848 --> 01:19:46,850
By the power invested in me,
1188
01:19:48,017 --> 01:19:49,853
I hereby euthanize
Agnes Wartyhymen
1189
01:19:50,686 --> 01:19:51,988
as requested in her last wishes.
1190
01:19:53,890 --> 01:19:55,859
Now normally, this would
be done by a painless
injection, but we rain out.
1191
01:19:56,425 --> 01:19:56,860
So instead...
1192
01:19:57,726 --> 01:19:58,895
We'll be using this brick.
1193
01:20:03,867 --> 01:20:05,902
She'll never know
the difference.
1194
01:20:06,635 --> 01:20:08,804
She's in a coma, people.
1195
01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:41,905
My butthole!
1196
01:20:42,906 --> 01:20:44,007
My sanity.
1197
01:20:44,640 --> 01:20:45,841
It's returned.
1198
01:20:46,475 --> 01:20:47,843
What happened?
1199
01:20:49,045 --> 01:20:51,047
Oh my God. I think she's
regaining her sanity.
1200
01:20:51,847 --> 01:20:52,048
I think...
1201
01:20:53,216 --> 01:20:54,850
I think it's from the
dildo up her butt.
1202
01:20:55,351 --> 01:20:55,985
Oh.
1203
01:20:56,619 --> 01:20:58,054
That's great.
1204
01:20:59,989 --> 01:21:03,059
I'm so sorry I didn't understand
what you were trying to tell me.
1205
01:21:04,427 --> 01:21:05,929
When you said Beau
Nerjoose took your sanity,
1206
01:21:07,096 --> 01:21:09,999
I thought you meant boner juice,
not Beau Nerjoose.
1207
01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:13,970
Like Beau's his first name
and Nerjoose is his last name.
1208
01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:15,038
I thought you meant...
1209
01:21:16,472 --> 01:21:18,942
Well, I thought you meant
the juice from an erection.
1210
01:21:19,542 --> 01:21:21,010
Like semen or
1211
01:21:21,610 --> 01:21:22,078
man-milk or
1212
01:21:22,946 --> 01:21:23,980
cream of meat
1213
01:21:24,447 --> 01:21:25,014
splooge
1214
01:21:25,614 --> 01:21:26,950
chode-chowder
1215
01:21:27,483 --> 01:21:27,984
protien shake or
1216
01:21:28,584 --> 01:21:29,052
man-ranch
1217
01:21:29,953 --> 01:21:30,954
maybe jism or
1218
01:21:31,654 --> 01:21:31,955
a shlong-smoothie,
1219
01:21:32,555 --> 01:21:33,022
baby-batter,
1220
01:21:33,756 --> 01:21:34,958
ball-fredo sauce.
1221
01:21:35,791 --> 01:21:35,959
You know what I'm saying.
1222
01:21:36,825 --> 01:21:38,995
It's ok, Ron. It's my fault.
1223
01:21:40,063 --> 01:21:41,097
I should have explained
my self better.
1224
01:21:47,103 --> 01:21:48,972
What happened?
1225
01:21:49,505 --> 01:21:50,106
I took a shit.
1226
01:21:51,307 --> 01:21:53,977
She took a shit on
the dance floor.
1227
01:21:55,144 --> 01:21:57,113
She took a shit on
the dance floor, baby.
1228
01:21:58,514 --> 01:22:00,984
You know that shit, it
just drives me oh so crazy.
1229
01:22:02,151 --> 01:22:04,087
She took a shit on
the dance floor, baby.
1230
01:22:05,521 --> 01:22:09,125
You know that shit, it
just drives me oh so crazy.
1231
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:20,069
Because it is hot shit.
1232
01:22:21,104 --> 01:22:25,074
Both hands and a map, bud!
1233
01:22:26,142 --> 01:22:30,013
I will eat your dick!
1234
01:22:31,147 --> 01:22:32,015
Oh Ronny, it's so
great to see you.
1235
01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:35,118
I feel reborn now that the great
dildo is back in my butthole.
1236
01:22:36,285 --> 01:22:38,154
That's cool mom. I'm
gonna go take a shit.
1237
01:23:01,177 --> 01:23:04,080
Agnes Wartyhymen!
1238
01:23:08,117 --> 01:23:10,053
Beau Nerjoose!
1239
01:23:13,122 --> 01:23:14,090
There's no time.
1240
01:23:14,957 --> 01:23:18,194
Hello. Long time no Beau...
1241
01:23:19,062 --> 01:23:20,063
Nerjoose.
1242
01:23:21,064 --> 01:23:23,066
Where's everybody going?
1243
01:23:23,899 --> 01:23:25,068
The party's just starting.
1244
01:23:26,102 --> 01:23:29,105
All I wanted was a family.
1245
01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:31,074
Is that too much to ask?
1246
01:23:32,475 --> 01:23:35,078
Oh, and maybe a dick that
doesn't suck it's own dick?
1247
01:23:36,079 --> 01:23:38,147
But no, no. Dr. Beau Nerjoose,
1248
01:23:39,348 --> 01:23:41,217
he can't be happy,
can he? Oh no. No.
1249
01:23:42,418 --> 01:23:45,088
but now I have fucked
the great fleshlight,
1250
01:23:46,255 --> 01:23:48,191
and my dick doesn't suck
its own dick anymore.
1251
01:23:48,657 --> 01:23:49,158
Look!
1252
01:23:50,093 --> 01:23:51,127
It doesn't suck itself anymore.
1253
01:23:52,095 --> 01:23:53,196
It does look a lot better.
1254
01:23:56,199 --> 01:23:57,133
It does, doesn't it?
1255
01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:00,136
Oh Agnes. You made a new friend.
1256
01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:03,172
My dear, sweet Hope.
1257
01:24:04,107 --> 01:24:05,274
I think it's time you knew.
1258
01:24:06,709 --> 01:24:09,112
It was I who left you on
the steps of that convent
1259
01:24:09,778 --> 01:24:13,116
for I am your father.
1260
01:24:14,417 --> 01:24:17,153
I stole you from that
looney bin you were born in
1261
01:24:18,020 --> 01:24:21,157
for Agnes is your mother.
1262
01:24:21,757 --> 01:24:23,126
Is that true?
1263
01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:27,196
But how would you know?
You haven't seen her
since she was a...
1264
01:24:27,796 --> 01:24:29,132
A mother knows!
1265
01:24:30,433 --> 01:24:34,137
But that means that Hope
and I are brother and sister.
1266
01:24:36,139 --> 01:24:40,143
But we totally boned, and
she totally liked it a lot.
1267
01:24:41,177 --> 01:24:43,246
Well, you're only half-siblings.
1268
01:24:44,447 --> 01:24:48,184
Ron, your father was a
man named We Nerjoose.
1269
01:24:49,051 --> 01:24:52,155
But wait. That's my father too.
1270
01:24:52,821 --> 01:24:53,289
You're my half-brother?
1271
01:24:54,157 --> 01:24:55,191
That means I'm...
1272
01:24:56,058 --> 01:24:58,161
Hope's uncle and brother.
1273
01:24:59,162 --> 01:25:01,164
Half-uncle, half-brother.
1274
01:25:01,864 --> 01:25:03,199
This is totally fucked!
1275
01:25:04,833 --> 01:25:07,270
If it makes you feel any
better, my half-brother
killed my mother too.
1276
01:25:08,471 --> 01:25:10,173
How is that supposed to
make me feel any better?
1277
01:25:11,274 --> 01:25:13,209
Oh. I don't know.
Because of this.
1278
01:25:17,213 --> 01:25:18,181
No!
1279
01:25:18,614 --> 01:25:19,215
Mom.
1280
01:25:19,682 --> 01:25:20,283
No.
1281
01:25:27,190 --> 01:25:31,227
It smells like a old,
rabid raccoon got caught
in a cotton candy machine.
1282
01:25:31,827 --> 01:25:33,196
Shhh. Shhh.
1283
01:25:33,862 --> 01:25:36,232
Ronny, come closer.
1284
01:25:37,300 --> 01:25:41,204
I could smell the whole time.
1285
01:25:46,309 --> 01:25:49,345
I cannot believe this is
all the Coldplay they have.
1286
01:25:50,213 --> 01:25:51,214
This place sucks.
1287
01:25:55,318 --> 01:25:57,220
Beau Nerjoose.
1288
01:26:00,223 --> 01:26:02,291
I've got a bone
to pick with you.
1289
01:26:05,261 --> 01:26:07,230
Oh hey, Ron.
1290
01:26:07,796 --> 01:26:09,232
You still here?
1291
01:26:11,234 --> 01:26:12,235
Yeah, dude.
1292
01:26:13,569 --> 01:26:15,238
You just killed my mom.
That seriously pisses me off.
1293
01:26:16,339 --> 01:26:17,306
Don't be a baby. Be
like my old dick,
1294
01:26:17,906 --> 01:26:19,275
and suck it up.
1295
01:26:21,244 --> 01:26:22,245
Now die!
1296
01:26:48,304 --> 01:26:50,273
Yeah!
1297
01:26:55,278 --> 01:26:56,279
Uppercock!
1298
01:26:57,280 --> 01:26:58,281
Guys, I'm winning!
1299
01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:01,417
Uppercunt!
1300
01:27:03,319 --> 01:27:04,287
No!
1301
01:27:26,375 --> 01:27:28,411
Do it! Do it now!
1302
01:27:29,612 --> 01:27:31,380
No! You don't know
what you're doing!
1303
01:27:33,316 --> 01:27:36,352
May the dildo fuck
the fleshlight!
1304
01:27:43,326 --> 01:27:45,328
What the fuck?
1305
01:27:46,329 --> 01:27:48,331
Here's something
for your wiener.
1306
01:28:16,359 --> 01:28:17,360
Fuck!
1307
01:28:17,926 --> 01:28:19,362
Beau Nerjoose.
1308
01:28:20,095 --> 01:28:22,365
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
1309
01:28:22,965 --> 01:28:23,499
Stupid idiot!
1310
01:28:33,376 --> 01:28:35,444
Now feel the wrath of my taint!
1311
01:28:41,417 --> 01:28:44,453
I have ultimate power!
1312
01:28:46,389 --> 01:28:49,425
I am master of the universe!
1313
01:28:50,158 --> 01:28:53,496
I control everything!
1314
01:28:56,399 --> 01:28:56,499
Wait.
1315
01:28:57,400 --> 01:28:58,401
Something's wrong.
1316
01:28:59,067 --> 01:29:00,403
I can't control it.
1317
01:29:01,103 --> 01:29:01,437
Something's wrong.
1318
01:29:02,037 --> 01:29:02,438
It hurts.
1319
01:29:03,038 --> 01:29:03,472
My balls.
1320
01:29:06,409 --> 01:29:07,543
My taint.
1321
01:29:33,569 --> 01:29:37,540
Beau Nerjoose is dead.
1322
01:29:38,273 --> 01:29:40,476
Beau Nerjoose is dead.
1323
01:29:41,477 --> 01:29:45,548
Beau Nerjoose is dead.
1324
01:29:46,281 --> 01:29:48,484
Beau Nerjoose is dead.
1325
01:29:49,552 --> 01:29:51,454
Beau Nerjoose is
1326
01:29:51,887 --> 01:29:56,459
dead.
1327
01:29:57,593 --> 01:29:59,462
Beau Nerjoose is
1328
01:29:59,895 --> 01:30:04,500
dead.
1329
01:30:05,601 --> 01:30:07,436
Beau Nerjoose is
1330
01:30:07,903 --> 01:30:12,508
dead.
1331
01:30:13,609 --> 01:30:15,444
Beau Nerjoose is
1332
01:30:15,911 --> 01:30:20,516
dead.
1333
01:30:28,557 --> 01:30:29,592
What is that?
1334
01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:31,594
It's what's left
of Beau Nerjoose.
1335
01:30:34,530 --> 01:30:37,533
I told you I'd eat your dick.
1336
01:30:42,437 --> 01:30:45,474
I guess no one man's taint
can rule the universe.
1337
01:30:46,875 --> 01:30:49,512
Yes Ron. And thank you for
helping us defeat Beau Nerjoose.
1338
01:30:50,746 --> 01:30:53,516
Now we can commence
with out evil plan.
1339
01:30:55,518 --> 01:30:56,519
Wait.
1340
01:30:57,019 --> 01:30:57,452
Evil?
1341
01:30:58,654 --> 01:30:59,622
Oh you didn't know?
We're super evil.
1342
01:31:01,590 --> 01:31:02,591
All of you?
1343
01:31:03,225 --> 01:31:03,659
Even Hope?
1344
01:31:04,459 --> 01:31:05,661
Yeah I'm evil as fuck.
1345
01:31:06,394 --> 01:31:08,531
How would a nun get HPV?
1346
01:31:09,064 --> 01:31:09,532
I don't know.
1347
01:31:11,534 --> 01:31:12,535
A pogo-stick?
1348
01:31:13,602 --> 01:31:15,604
That is rich my friend.
1349
01:31:16,071 --> 01:31:16,672
Rich.
1350
01:31:17,540 --> 01:31:18,574
You fuckin' nuts?
1351
01:31:19,742 --> 01:31:21,577
Yeah. Booty worms.
Tittie maggots.
1352
01:31:22,444 --> 01:31:23,546
It's all super-evil shit.
1353
01:31:24,680 --> 01:31:25,548
We made you break
the ten commandments.
1354
01:31:26,414 --> 01:31:27,650
It's totally fucking evil.
1355
01:31:29,284 --> 01:31:33,556
Oh yes. And now that we
have the great dildo and
the great fleshlight,
1356
01:31:35,090 --> 01:31:38,661
we can speed up the
gestation process so
Hope will have her baby
1357
01:31:40,563 --> 01:31:43,566
and yours.
1358
01:31:44,299 --> 01:31:48,604
But I'm Hope's brother
1359
01:31:49,204 --> 01:31:50,573
and her uncle.
1360
01:31:52,007 --> 01:31:53,709
Oh yes. It'll probably
be super-inbred-retarded.
1361
01:31:54,943 --> 01:31:55,578
Not to mention that
fact that it's also
1362
01:31:57,112 --> 01:31:58,647
totally the anti-christ
that will exterminate
all of humanity.
1363
01:31:59,147 --> 01:31:59,615
What?
1364
01:32:00,649 --> 01:32:01,617
Do it!
1365
01:33:05,714 --> 01:33:06,715
Son?
1366
01:33:16,659 --> 01:33:18,661
Daddy!
1367
01:33:25,801 --> 01:33:30,673
And then I jacked off and I
shot my dad with my laser dick.
1368
01:33:31,807 --> 01:33:32,675
I shot like loads
of people with it.
1369
01:33:33,408 --> 01:33:34,677
Pretty much everybody.
1370
01:33:35,543 --> 01:33:36,812
I'm totes the anti-christ.
1371
01:33:37,680 --> 01:33:39,682
Honey, I'm making sandwiches.
1372
01:33:42,751 --> 01:33:43,752
What kind?
1373
01:33:45,721 --> 01:33:47,690
Bologna.
1374
01:33:48,356 --> 01:33:49,825
Bologna, fuck yeah!
1375
01:33:54,697 --> 01:33:59,702
He died for you, and me too,
1376
01:34:00,836 --> 01:34:04,773
and all the dead people too.
1377
01:34:05,708 --> 01:34:09,845
He died for you, and me too,
1378
01:34:11,747 --> 01:34:15,718
and all the dead people too.
1379
01:34:16,584 --> 01:34:20,789
He died for you, and me too,
1380
01:34:22,725 --> 01:34:26,729
and all the dead people too.
1381
01:34:27,529 --> 01:34:31,734
He died for you, and me too,
1382
01:34:32,868 --> 01:34:36,839
and all the dead people too.
1383
01:34:37,740 --> 01:34:41,877
He died for you, and me too,
1384
01:34:43,779 --> 01:34:47,750
and all the dead people too.
1385
01:34:48,616 --> 01:34:52,821
He died for you, and me too,
1386
01:34:54,757 --> 01:34:58,861
and all the dead people too.
1387
01:35:02,865 --> 01:35:04,767
Oh.
1388
01:35:05,801 --> 01:35:06,769
Oh.
1389
01:35:08,804 --> 01:35:10,839
Oh, it was just a dream.
1390
01:35:24,820 --> 01:35:25,854
Daddy.
96706
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