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1
00:00:03,546 --> 00:00:05,776
And then there's a big explosion
and lots of bubbles.
2
00:00:05,848 --> 00:00:07,873
That's where babies come from.
3
00:00:07,950 --> 00:00:10,145
(Laughing)
4
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:13,120
Oh, well, close enough.
5
00:00:13,189 --> 00:00:15,453
I did the math once.
6
00:00:15,525 --> 00:00:18,289
It turns out every 17.4 dinners
7
00:00:18,361 --> 00:00:20,761
my family actually has
a pleasant meal together.
8
00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:21,762
Hey, look at this.
9
00:00:21,831 --> 00:00:23,799
I made a pea angel.
10
00:00:23,866 --> 00:00:25,891
Oh, you're a pea angel.
11
00:00:25,968 --> 00:00:27,401
Stop playing with your food.
12
00:00:29,105 --> 00:00:30,129
(Laughs)
13
00:00:31,874 --> 00:00:34,172
Oh, Mom...
14
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,608
Don't you dare.
15
00:00:35,678 --> 00:00:37,111
Relax, I wasn't really going to.
16
00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:38,340
Then don't.
17
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:39,438
I wasn't going to.
18
00:00:39,515 --> 00:00:41,312
Then don't.
19
00:00:41,384 --> 00:00:43,978
Well, don't accuse me of something
that I wasn't going to do.
20
00:00:46,489 --> 00:00:48,320
Interesting mood shift.
21
00:00:48,391 --> 00:00:51,189
It would take hours to explain
the psychology behind this.
22
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,319
So let me just put it this way:
23
00:00:53,396 --> 00:00:54,658
Dynamite...
24
00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:56,288
kid with matches.
25
00:00:56,365 --> 00:00:58,026
You're going to throw that at Mom?
26
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,795
I wasn't going to.
27
00:00:59,869 --> 00:01:01,200
Jeez Louise. Reese...
28
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,498
Hal, I can handle this.
29
00:01:02,572 --> 00:01:05,132
Reese, I'm warning you.
30
00:01:05,208 --> 00:01:06,368
I wasn't going to.
31
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:08,672
But if you think I would,
then maybe I should.
32
00:01:08,744 --> 00:01:10,735
Oh, good.
Now he's panicking.
33
00:01:10,813 --> 00:01:14,112
Just put the spoon down and apologize.
34
00:01:14,183 --> 00:01:16,310
Okay, she gave him an out.
35
00:01:16,385 --> 00:01:18,751
Apologize for what?
I wasn't going to do anything.
36
00:01:18,821 --> 00:01:21,654
Just stop talking!
Just stop talking and let me think!
37
00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:23,021
Dad, do something.
38
00:01:23,092 --> 00:01:25,151
I got it.
39
00:01:39,775 --> 00:01:42,710
What do you think you're doing?
40
00:01:44,447 --> 00:01:46,438
I'm being cute and spontaneous?
41
00:01:49,919 --> 00:01:52,114
(Laughs)
42
00:01:54,123 --> 00:01:55,647
(Laughing)
43
00:02:02,632 --> 00:02:04,532
Don't do it.
44
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,932
I wasn't going to.
45
00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,870
Yep, this is a good dinner.
46
00:02:09,939 --> 00:02:13,397
* Yes, no, maybe *
47
00:02:13,476 --> 00:02:15,944
* I don't know *
48
00:02:16,012 --> 00:02:19,277
* Can you repeat the question? *
49
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,475
* You're not the boss of me now *
50
00:02:21,551 --> 00:02:23,416
* You're not the boss of me now *
51
00:02:23,486 --> 00:02:25,351
* You're not the boss of me now *
52
00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:28,447
* And you're not so big *
53
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,958
* You're not the boss of me now *
54
00:02:31,027 --> 00:02:32,961
* You're not the boss of me now *
55
00:02:33,029 --> 00:02:34,496
* You're not the boss of me now *
56
00:02:34,564 --> 00:02:38,193
* And you're not so big *
57
00:02:38,267 --> 00:02:41,998
* Life is unfair. *
58
00:02:53,349 --> 00:02:54,338
(Bell Rings)
59
00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:55,509
Malcolm.
60
00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,382
Yeah?
61
00:02:59,455 --> 00:03:01,923
Can I see you for a minute, please?
62
00:03:03,326 --> 00:03:04,452
Ooh.
63
00:03:04,527 --> 00:03:06,017
Teacher's favorite.
64
00:03:06,095 --> 00:03:07,357
Teacher's pet.
65
00:03:08,764 --> 00:03:11,198
"Dear... Penthouse..."
66
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:14,532
"Yesterday I pushed my friend Stevie
down some stairs."
67
00:03:14,604 --> 00:03:17,698
Point... taken...
68
00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:22,304
What?
69
00:03:22,378 --> 00:03:24,573
Malcolm, I'm a little concerned.
70
00:03:24,647 --> 00:03:29,584
You're doing very well in your studies,
but... I still sense
71
00:03:29,652 --> 00:03:31,745
an emotional distance between us.
72
00:03:31,821 --> 00:03:33,982
And I hate it.
73
00:03:34,056 --> 00:03:38,789
I'd really like us to try to connect
on a deeper level.
74
00:03:38,861 --> 00:03:41,523
Whoa. She is coming on to me.
75
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,588
I thought you were dating the janitor.
76
00:03:43,666 --> 00:03:45,361
Who told you that?
77
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,129
God. One drink and...
78
00:03:47,203 --> 00:03:48,135
Never mind.
79
00:03:49,739 --> 00:03:53,436
What I am trying to say is,
I know your parents.
80
00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:56,444
I know you have a colorful home life.
81
00:03:56,512 --> 00:03:59,606
So, just remember if you ever
need anything at all...
82
00:03:59,682 --> 00:04:02,082
a sympathetic ear,
a shoulder to cry on...
83
00:04:02,151 --> 00:04:05,177
I want you to come to me.
84
00:04:05,254 --> 00:04:09,088
Yeah. That's what I need...
another mom.
85
00:04:09,158 --> 00:04:10,455
Okay. Great.
86
00:04:10,526 --> 00:04:11,515
Thanks a lot.
87
00:04:11,594 --> 00:04:15,121
Well, I got to go do the... thing.
88
00:04:16,365 --> 00:04:18,424
And then I drew a robot, Francis.
89
00:04:18,501 --> 00:04:19,729
But my crayon broke.
90
00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,269
And then I had a Popsicle.
91
00:04:21,337 --> 00:04:23,305
I mean, I had 12 Popsicles.
92
00:04:23,372 --> 00:04:25,431
You like Popsicles, Francis?
93
00:04:25,508 --> 00:04:27,635
Shut up, Dewey.
Stop bugging Francis.
94
00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:29,177
I'm so glad you're home.
95
00:04:29,245 --> 00:04:32,942
You don't know what it's like
dealing with these little kids all day.
96
00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:34,812
It's the coolest thing.
97
00:04:34,884 --> 00:04:37,819
It's the first time Francis
is home from military school.
98
00:04:37,887 --> 00:04:40,014
Mom and Dad are going off
to some wedding
99
00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:43,058
and Francis is in charge of us
for the whole weekend.
100
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:44,683
I can't believe how much I missed him.
101
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:45,852
Hey.
102
00:04:45,928 --> 00:04:46,986
Hmph.
103
00:04:47,063 --> 00:04:49,031
He's so great.
104
00:04:49,098 --> 00:04:53,364
Boys! The number for the hotel
is on the counter.
105
00:04:53,436 --> 00:04:56,997
I left money for pizza,
but I want a receipt and exact change.
106
00:04:58,808 --> 00:05:01,470
Yep, that underwear
is going to wrinkle.
107
00:05:02,712 --> 00:05:06,045
It's kind of nice having Francis
back in the house, don't you think?
108
00:05:07,149 --> 00:05:09,083
- What?
- Nothing.
109
00:05:09,151 --> 00:05:12,052
You're just cute
when you think you're being subtle.
110
00:05:12,121 --> 00:05:14,919
Really?
111
00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:17,356
Of course it's nice
having Francis home.
112
00:05:17,426 --> 00:05:19,121
Well, it's been
a few months now.
113
00:05:19,195 --> 00:05:21,595
Maybe it's time to,
you know, think about it.
114
00:05:21,664 --> 00:05:23,097
I don't know. Maybe.
115
00:05:23,165 --> 00:05:26,157
We'll see how he does this weekend.
116
00:05:26,235 --> 00:05:29,068
God, I hate this hairdo.
117
00:05:29,138 --> 00:05:32,266
I don't even know why I bother
trying to impress your family anymore.
118
00:05:32,341 --> 00:05:33,774
They've always hated me.
119
00:05:33,843 --> 00:05:37,472
Well, you are the one who stole
their little Hally away from them.
120
00:05:39,281 --> 00:05:41,545
Better get moving.
121
00:05:41,617 --> 00:05:43,050
And then it got away.
122
00:05:43,119 --> 00:05:45,144
But I found another one,
but it died.
123
00:05:45,221 --> 00:05:46,245
And then...
124
00:05:46,322 --> 00:05:47,914
I said leave him alone,
you butt-munch.
125
00:05:47,990 --> 00:05:48,922
Let me go.
126
00:05:48,991 --> 00:05:49,923
Make me.
127
00:05:53,963 --> 00:05:56,227
Guys, quit it.
128
00:05:56,298 --> 00:05:58,289
Listen for a second.
129
00:05:58,367 --> 00:05:59,595
I just heard Mom and Dad.
130
00:05:59,668 --> 00:06:01,829
They're thinking about
letting Francis come home.
131
00:06:03,372 --> 00:06:05,499
You serious?
132
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,304
Yeah. They want to see
how he does with us this weekend.
133
00:06:08,377 --> 00:06:10,675
- Okay? So we can't screw up.
- Cool.
134
00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,213
- Let's go tell him.
- No.
135
00:06:12,281 --> 00:06:14,749
You know how Francis gets
when people tell him what to do.
136
00:06:14,817 --> 00:06:16,580
I am warning you.
137
00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:20,713
If you get your nose pierced,
you are going to military school.
138
00:06:20,790 --> 00:06:24,590
And I mean it. Really.
Do you hear me?
139
00:06:25,561 --> 00:06:27,290
Hey, Mom.
140
00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:29,923
What's for dinner?
141
00:06:29,999 --> 00:06:31,626
Right.
142
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:32,758
What are we going to do?
143
00:06:32,835 --> 00:06:34,462
We're going to be good, that's what.
144
00:06:34,537 --> 00:06:35,765
How do we be good?
145
00:06:35,838 --> 00:06:36,896
I don't know.
146
00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:39,372
Honestly,
it's never come up before.
147
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,466
Look, we're just not
going to do anything.
148
00:06:41,544 --> 00:06:43,512
That way, we can't
get in any trouble.
149
00:06:43,579 --> 00:06:47,640
Honey. We're late.
We better hit the road.
150
00:06:47,716 --> 00:06:50,344
Fine. I'll shave my legs
in the car.
151
00:06:50,419 --> 00:06:51,647
Okay.
152
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,712
I've marked the liquor bottles, and
we can taste when they're watered down.
153
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:57,281
I've locked out the smut channel,
counted your father's cigars.
154
00:06:57,359 --> 00:07:00,260
I've checked the odometer on the car
and the balance on the credit cards.
155
00:07:00,329 --> 00:07:01,887
We love you, have a good time.
156
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:05,422
And just remember, Dewey will tell us
everything you did while we're gone.
157
00:07:05,501 --> 00:07:07,662
Uh, what your mother said, boys.
158
00:07:07,736 --> 00:07:09,704
Minus one.
159
00:07:13,609 --> 00:07:17,375
Don't even think about it.
160
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:19,738
Think about what?
161
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:21,715
She's bluffing.
162
00:07:21,784 --> 00:07:25,345
Okay, I am going to show you guys
the coolest thing you have ever seen.
163
00:07:25,421 --> 00:07:29,551
Get me some lighter fluid, a waffle iron
and one of Dewey's stuffed animals.
164
00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:31,320
The furrier, the better.
165
00:07:31,393 --> 00:07:33,588
Actually, we're kind of tired.
166
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,061
Tired?
167
00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:37,223
Yeah. Tired.
168
00:07:37,299 --> 00:07:38,926
I'm not tired.
169
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,799
Okay, yeah, I'm tired.
170
00:07:41,871 --> 00:07:43,532
Let's just go watch TV.
171
00:07:43,606 --> 00:07:46,507
Whatever.
172
00:07:51,247 --> 00:07:53,579
This plan better work.
173
00:07:53,649 --> 00:07:58,143
The only thing worse than no TV
is golf on TV.
174
00:07:58,220 --> 00:08:00,586
Oh, come on, guys.
Let's go outside.
175
00:08:00,656 --> 00:08:01,714
Let's go do something.
176
00:08:01,790 --> 00:08:03,621
No. They're only
on the sixth hole.
177
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:07,025
They're only on the sixth hole.
178
00:08:07,096 --> 00:08:08,893
(Telephone Rings)
179
00:08:08,964 --> 00:08:10,158
Hello.
180
00:08:10,232 --> 00:08:12,792
Francis, bud,
I heard you were in town.
181
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,028
You da man, Francis!
182
00:08:14,103 --> 00:08:16,833
Hey, guys, what's going on?
183
00:08:16,906 --> 00:08:19,136
Same old, same old, man.
184
00:08:20,576 --> 00:08:22,771
Oh, Circus says hi.
185
00:08:22,845 --> 00:08:26,713
Dude, you're not going to believe it.
I finally moved out.
186
00:08:26,782 --> 00:08:29,842
I'm living in the basement now.
Total freedom, dude.
187
00:08:29,919 --> 00:08:31,386
You da man, Francis!
188
00:08:31,453 --> 00:08:35,253
Mom, you're supposed to knock.
189
00:08:35,324 --> 00:08:36,586
Dude, we're coming over.
190
00:08:36,659 --> 00:08:38,718
Okay. Hey, Richie and the guys
are coming over.
191
00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:40,318
Maybe they shouldn't.
192
00:08:40,396 --> 00:08:42,728
You know, Mom and Dad are gone.
193
00:08:42,798 --> 00:08:44,789
Okay, got it.
Richie, listen to me.
194
00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:47,233
I'm watching my brothers,
so we got to hang here.
195
00:08:47,303 --> 00:08:49,168
And no parties okay?
196
00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:50,364
I'm serious.
197
00:08:50,439 --> 00:08:51,929
It's got to be just the three of you.
198
00:08:54,810 --> 00:08:58,211
Huh. You wouldn't think only three guys
could do so much damage.
199
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,475
Call us next time you're in town.
200
00:09:00,549 --> 00:09:01,777
You da man, Francis!
201
00:09:07,690 --> 00:09:11,148
* Skyrockets in flight *
202
00:09:11,226 --> 00:09:12,659
* Afternoon delight... *
203
00:09:12,728 --> 00:09:15,458
Are you trying to seduce me?
204
00:09:15,531 --> 00:09:17,465
I can't believe
we're going to this wedding.
205
00:09:17,533 --> 00:09:18,932
What a waste of time.
206
00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:20,832
Oh, come on,
I promise it'll be fun.
207
00:09:20,903 --> 00:09:22,427
Hal, I'm not Dewey.
208
00:09:22,504 --> 00:09:26,201
Sorry. But still, we're alone,
we're away from the kids.
209
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:30,177
Right now, we're just
two unencumbered consenting adults.
210
00:09:30,245 --> 00:09:33,043
I say we enjoy it.
211
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,446
Yeah, you're right.
212
00:09:34,516 --> 00:09:37,713
It will be nice to have some
time for just the two of us.
213
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:42,519
And I'm going to love not having
to yell at somebody every 20 seconds.
214
00:09:42,591 --> 00:09:46,891
Either speed up or get
off the road, jackass!
215
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:49,362
Absolutely deserved it.
216
00:09:52,401 --> 00:09:53,959
(Spitting):
I hate those guys.
217
00:09:54,036 --> 00:09:56,937
Did you see Circus
break that cinder block with his head?
218
00:09:57,006 --> 00:09:58,667
That's a good lesson for you guys.
219
00:09:58,741 --> 00:10:02,837
It didn't break the first six times.
But did he quit trying? No, sir.
220
00:10:03,912 --> 00:10:05,539
Francis, we have to clean this up.
221
00:10:05,614 --> 00:10:06,672
Yeah.
222
00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:07,773
No. I mean now.
223
00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:09,977
If Mom and Dad see this
they'll freak.
224
00:10:10,052 --> 00:10:13,544
So what else is new?
They always freak. I'm used to it.
225
00:10:13,622 --> 00:10:15,351
This is different.
We have to clean up.
226
00:10:15,424 --> 00:10:17,324
What's with you guys?
I'm in charge here.
227
00:10:17,393 --> 00:10:19,486
I'm the only one who'll
get in trouble. Relax.
228
00:10:19,561 --> 00:10:23,019
- But we want you to come home.
- What?
229
00:10:23,098 --> 00:10:24,588
I heard Mom and Dad talking.
230
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:27,191
This weekend is like a test for you,
or a trap.
231
00:10:27,269 --> 00:10:29,032
If you do good,
they may let you come home.
232
00:10:29,104 --> 00:10:32,198
And if you don't, they're gonna toss
your butt back into military school.
233
00:10:32,274 --> 00:10:33,571
Okay, look...
234
00:10:33,642 --> 00:10:35,610
Francis, it sucks
around here without you.
235
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,668
Can't you just try for our sake?
236
00:10:37,746 --> 00:10:39,771
Look, guys,
I appreciate your sentiment.
237
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:42,316
But they're not going
to decide my whole future
238
00:10:42,384 --> 00:10:46,150
based on how I behave over one weekend
without even telling me about it.
239
00:10:46,221 --> 00:10:48,553
It's too arbitrary.
It's unreasonable.
240
00:10:48,624 --> 00:10:49,818
It's Mom.
241
00:10:49,892 --> 00:10:51,655
Okay, let's clean up.
242
00:11:01,770 --> 00:11:05,171
* I'm not done *
243
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,038
* And I won't be *
244
00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:11,773
* Till my head falls off *
245
00:11:15,451 --> 00:11:16,941
It's perfect.
246
00:11:17,019 --> 00:11:18,782
The house has never
been this clean.
247
00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:19,980
Uh-oh.
248
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,022
What?
249
00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:22,990
It's too clean.
250
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,719
You're right.
251
00:11:24,793 --> 00:11:26,283
They'll never buy it.
252
00:11:26,361 --> 00:11:30,525
* I'm not done *
253
00:11:30,599 --> 00:11:33,227
* And I won't be *
254
00:11:33,302 --> 00:11:36,635
* Till my head falls off *
255
00:11:36,705 --> 00:11:40,937
* Though that may not be
a long way off *
256
00:11:41,009 --> 00:11:45,878
* I won't be done
until my head *
257
00:11:45,948 --> 00:11:53,980
* Falls off *
258
00:11:55,791 --> 00:12:00,490
Ah. Looks like we're the only ones
who gave them pot holders.
259
00:12:02,898 --> 00:12:04,331
- Hi.
- Hi.
260
00:12:04,399 --> 00:12:05,889
It's great to see you.
261
00:12:05,968 --> 00:12:07,731
You, too. You look terrific.
262
00:12:07,803 --> 00:12:10,237
How long do you think it's been?
263
00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:11,636
I don't know.
264
00:12:11,707 --> 00:12:13,698
Will you excuse me?
265
00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:24,475
Well, that was worth
driving 600 miles for.
266
00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:26,020
Who was that guy?
267
00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:29,546
It's the groom, Hal.
268
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:32,685
I wish people would wear
name tags at these things.
269
00:12:34,029 --> 00:12:35,758
Oh, perfect.
270
00:12:35,831 --> 00:12:38,026
Nice touch with
the bread crumbs, Dewey.
271
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,397
Huh?
272
00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:41,834
I clipped my toenails
on the coffee table.
273
00:12:41,904 --> 00:12:44,099
Attaboy.
She will never know a thing.
274
00:12:44,173 --> 00:12:45,504
Wait.
275
00:12:50,279 --> 00:12:51,610
Ta-da!
276
00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,854
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
277
00:12:59,922 --> 00:13:02,652
Malcolm!
Malcolm, are you okay?
278
00:13:02,724 --> 00:13:04,282
I think so.
279
00:13:04,359 --> 00:13:05,326
Ow.!!
280
00:13:05,394 --> 00:13:06,326
Hold still.
281
00:13:06,395 --> 00:13:07,589
Come here and let me see it.
282
00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:08,527
Let me see it.
283
00:13:08,597 --> 00:13:09,723
How does it look?
284
00:13:09,798 --> 00:13:10,822
Not... too bad.
285
00:13:10,899 --> 00:13:12,366
Put his face back on!
286
00:13:12,434 --> 00:13:14,698
Oh, man, what's that white stuff?
287
00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:16,795
- Is that bone?
- What?!
288
00:13:16,872 --> 00:13:18,203
Get ice and some paper towels.
289
00:13:18,273 --> 00:13:19,672
We have to put pressure on it.
290
00:13:19,741 --> 00:13:20,765
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- I'm sorry.
291
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,571
I have to put pressure on it.
292
00:13:22,644 --> 00:13:23,611
Reese, give me the ice!
293
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,010
We don't have any.
We've got this.
294
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,548
Fine. Give me some antiseptic.
295
00:13:27,616 --> 00:13:28,674
(Phone Ringing)
296
00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:29,774
Don't answer that.
297
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:30,875
Dewey:
Hello.
298
00:13:30,953 --> 00:13:31,885
Lois:
Hi, Dewey.
299
00:13:31,954 --> 00:13:33,046
Hi, Mom.
300
00:13:33,121 --> 00:13:35,612
We're just calling to check in.
Let me speak with Francis.
301
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:36,749
He's...
302
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,459
in the bathroom.
303
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:40,825
Well, let me talk to Malcolm.
304
00:13:40,896 --> 00:13:42,955
He's in the bathroom.
305
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,795
They're both in the bathroom?
What are they doing in there?
306
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,630
I have to go to the bathroom.
307
00:13:50,772 --> 00:13:51,966
We have to get you stitches.
308
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,132
Let's go to the hospital.
309
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:54,232
No! You can't.
310
00:13:54,309 --> 00:13:55,606
Mom and Dad will find out.
311
00:13:55,677 --> 00:13:58,874
Malcolm, this is a head injury.
You could have a concussion.
312
00:13:58,947 --> 00:14:01,541
Concussion?
I think he's making too much of this.
313
00:14:01,617 --> 00:14:03,346
I'm not as figgled as he hoogers.
314
00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:04,544
No!
315
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:05,587
I don't care.
316
00:14:05,654 --> 00:14:06,916
I'm not going to the hospital.
317
00:14:06,989 --> 00:14:08,013
Do you hear me?
318
00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:09,887
There is no way that I...
319
00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:11,858
Get the car!
320
00:14:14,796 --> 00:14:15,990
I can't see anything.
321
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:18,328
You want to get blood
all over the car?
322
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,061
Wait! We can't take the car.
323
00:14:20,135 --> 00:14:21,261
They'll know.
324
00:14:21,336 --> 00:14:22,928
Mom checked the odometer, remember?
325
00:14:23,005 --> 00:14:24,063
I'm on top of it.
326
00:14:27,009 --> 00:14:27,998
Whee! Hi, school!
327
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,010
Oh, Malcolm, you should see this!
328
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,409
Francis is kicking ass!
329
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:32,538
(Radio Blasting)
330
00:14:32,614 --> 00:14:33,945
I hate this '80s crap.
331
00:14:34,016 --> 00:14:36,109
One good thing about a head injury:
332
00:14:36,184 --> 00:14:39,244
There's a good chance
I won't remember any of this.
333
00:14:39,321 --> 00:14:40,982
Oh, great. A one-way street.
334
00:14:41,056 --> 00:14:43,524
How does that work
if I'm going backwards?
335
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,389
And on this joyous day,
336
00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:51,558
as we celebrate the occasion
of two souls joining into one...
337
00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:55,228
Do you think this is going to be
one of those long services?
338
00:14:57,205 --> 00:14:59,139
What's wrong?
339
00:15:01,076 --> 00:15:04,477
Did you know that your family
has given me a nickname?
340
00:15:04,546 --> 00:15:07,982
Really? That's nice.
What is it?
341
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:14,012
Lois... Common... Denominator.
342
00:15:16,692 --> 00:15:19,024
Hey, come on.
343
00:15:19,094 --> 00:15:21,255
It's just that they've
never seen anyone like you.
344
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:24,766
I mean, you're,
you're honest, and, uh...
345
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:26,562
unpretentious.
346
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,227
Direct.
347
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:31,670
They're baffled by that.
348
00:15:31,740 --> 00:15:35,938
I'm the only one that gets you, Lois,
and, frankly, I...
349
00:15:36,011 --> 00:15:38,707
I like that.
350
00:15:38,780 --> 00:15:41,908
Kind of makes you my secret treasure.
351
00:15:46,788 --> 00:15:49,348
Oh, Hal.
352
00:15:51,226 --> 00:15:52,523
...Between the Lord and us,
353
00:15:52,594 --> 00:15:58,157
his servants, two people
brought together in love...
354
00:15:58,233 --> 00:16:01,031
(Moaning Softly)
355
00:16:12,381 --> 00:16:14,212
Oh, for God's sake.
356
00:16:14,282 --> 00:16:15,749
You kids again?
357
00:16:15,817 --> 00:16:17,216
And a head injury.
358
00:16:17,285 --> 00:16:20,482
You boys like to
keep it interesting, don't you?
359
00:16:20,555 --> 00:16:23,183
We kind of have a history here.
360
00:16:23,258 --> 00:16:24,850
* I was in the right place *
361
00:16:24,926 --> 00:16:26,621
* But it must have been
the wrong time *
362
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:29,528
* Thought I said the right thing *
363
00:16:29,598 --> 00:16:31,828
* But it must have been
the wrong line *
364
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,993
* I was in the right world *
365
00:16:34,069 --> 00:16:37,470
* But it seemed like it was
wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong *
366
00:16:43,111 --> 00:16:45,636
Look, Doc, uh, about the bill...
367
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,579
Oh, don't worry.
We'll send it to your parents.
368
00:16:47,649 --> 00:16:48,877
Yeah, well...
369
00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:51,180
we were kind of thinking
we'd pay for it now.
370
00:16:51,253 --> 00:16:54,188
Okeydokey, but it's probably
going to be about $400.
371
00:16:54,256 --> 00:16:55,689
- What?!
- $400?
372
00:16:55,757 --> 00:16:59,591
Don't you have a frequent customer
discount like at the car wash?
373
00:16:59,661 --> 00:17:01,288
Or maybe we could work it off.
374
00:17:01,363 --> 00:17:03,558
We could empty bedpans,
or wash cadavers.
375
00:17:03,632 --> 00:17:06,226
It's probably not nearly as cool
as it sounds.
376
00:17:06,301 --> 00:17:08,235
Sorry.
377
00:17:10,806 --> 00:17:13,934
Well, we're screwed.
378
00:17:14,009 --> 00:17:17,570
Come on, there's got to be something
we can do, someone we can call.
379
00:17:17,646 --> 00:17:19,876
There's no one, Malcolm.
380
00:17:19,948 --> 00:17:24,044
Actually, there might be,
but I'm not sure if it's worth it.
381
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:25,950
(Gasping):
Oh, Malcolm!
382
00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:27,249
Are you all right?
383
00:17:27,322 --> 00:17:29,051
Sorry it took me so long.
384
00:17:29,124 --> 00:17:33,060
I was having a chardonnay when
you called, and I had to take a cab.
385
00:17:33,128 --> 00:17:36,154
Oh, God, I knew we made
a deeper connection. I just knew it.
386
00:17:36,231 --> 00:17:38,699
Now it's going to be hard
to turn against your parents,
387
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,098
but in time you'll see...
388
00:17:40,168 --> 00:17:41,362
No! You don't understand.
389
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,733
My parents didn't do this.
390
00:17:42,804 --> 00:17:45,602
It was just an accident,
and they can't find out about it.
391
00:17:45,674 --> 00:17:46,538
What?
392
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,633
It's kind of complicated.
393
00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:50,803
See, my parents
are away at a wedding,
394
00:17:50,879 --> 00:17:53,905
and my brother is home
from military school to take care of us.
395
00:17:53,982 --> 00:17:57,816
I don't think people should be punished
just 'cause their dad uses cheap nails.
396
00:17:57,886 --> 00:17:59,911
We need $400, lady.
397
00:17:59,988 --> 00:18:01,285
Will you let me talk?!
398
00:18:01,356 --> 00:18:03,586
We need the money
for the doctor bill,
399
00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:06,456
because if my parents
find out that I got hurt
400
00:18:06,528 --> 00:18:09,497
then they'll send Francis away,
and we'll never see him again,
401
00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:12,658
and, you know, we love him.
402
00:18:13,869 --> 00:18:16,497
Malcolm, I can't do that.
403
00:18:16,571 --> 00:18:19,131
But you said
if I ever needed anything...
404
00:18:19,207 --> 00:18:21,835
Yes, I was talking
about emotional stuff.
405
00:18:21,910 --> 00:18:26,176
I... Do you have any idea
what a teacher earns?
406
00:18:26,248 --> 00:18:29,115
I have $62 in my checking account.
407
00:18:29,184 --> 00:18:30,515
They take credit cards.
408
00:18:30,585 --> 00:18:32,746
I'm sorry.
409
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:36,587
I'm... I'm, I'm just sorry.
410
00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,227
We can break her.
411
00:18:41,296 --> 00:18:42,957
Guilt. Go for guilt.
412
00:18:43,031 --> 00:18:44,055
I got it.
413
00:18:44,132 --> 00:18:45,599
That's okay.
414
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:48,158
Thanks, anyway.
415
00:18:48,236 --> 00:18:50,466
Well, squirt,
416
00:18:50,539 --> 00:18:53,201
looks like I'm going to be
going back to military school
417
00:18:53,275 --> 00:18:56,836
and I'm not going to see you
for a really, really long time.
418
00:18:56,912 --> 00:19:00,848
But I need you to be brave.
Can you do that for me, squirt?
419
00:19:00,916 --> 00:19:02,975
Stop, Francis!
420
00:19:03,051 --> 00:19:06,020
I wish I could, kiddo,
but I can't.
421
00:19:06,087 --> 00:19:09,454
(Dewey Crying)
422
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,618
- Why are you doing this?
- I'm not doing this, Dewey.
423
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:14,855
It's just the way life is sometimes.
424
00:19:14,930 --> 00:19:16,454
(Dewey Crying)
425
00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:18,396
Please stop crying.
426
00:19:18,466 --> 00:19:21,663
- It hurts!
- I know it does. It hurts me too.
427
00:19:21,736 --> 00:19:24,296
Wait! I'll, I'll do it.
428
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,000
I guess Jamaica
isn't going anywhere.
429
00:19:28,143 --> 00:19:29,667
Where is my credit card?
430
00:19:29,744 --> 00:19:32,736
- It fell out of your wallet.
- How did that happen?
431
00:19:32,814 --> 00:19:35,339
Let's go.
Processing is right over here.
432
00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:38,011
Right near the vending machines.
Do you have any change?
433
00:19:38,086 --> 00:19:39,417
Thank you.
434
00:19:39,487 --> 00:19:41,512
Way to take one for the team, buddy.
435
00:19:41,590 --> 00:19:44,684
When we get home
you can eat ice cream until you puke.
436
00:19:44,759 --> 00:19:47,990
(Still Sobbing):
Yay.
437
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:52,056
(Whooping And Laughing)
438
00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:00,340
- (Groaning And Exclaiming)
- Hey! Ocupado.
439
00:20:06,615 --> 00:20:09,106
Huh. Well...
440
00:20:09,184 --> 00:20:12,950
I don't see any holes
or crappy attempts to plaster them up.
441
00:20:13,021 --> 00:20:15,216
But I'm sure there's something.
442
00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:17,224
There's always something.
443
00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:21,358
What are you hiding
underneath that hat?
444
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,590
Nothing.
I was just wearing...
445
00:20:28,903 --> 00:20:31,303
You boys.
446
00:20:31,373 --> 00:20:33,705
That's it?
447
00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:36,710
So, you guys think Francis
did a good job taking care of us, then?
448
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:38,973
- Oh, a great job.
- Absolutely.
449
00:20:39,047 --> 00:20:41,379
You know, Francis, we were having
our doubts about that school,
450
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:43,383
but it's really matured you.
451
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:46,420
In fact, I think
it's the best decision we ever made.
452
00:20:46,488 --> 00:20:47,580
(Chuckling)
453
00:20:49,424 --> 00:20:52,484
Mom: 62,437...
454
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,585
Kids: Zero.
455
00:20:57,332 --> 00:21:00,130
So, we get to see Francis again
in a month or two.
456
00:21:00,201 --> 00:21:02,431
I know. It sucks,
but we gave it a shot.
457
00:21:02,504 --> 00:21:03,971
And school's easier now
458
00:21:04,039 --> 00:21:07,236
because Caroline won't even
make eye contact with me anymore.
459
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:10,106
So it wasn't a complete waste,
and Mom always says
460
00:21:10,178 --> 00:21:13,511
it's not a wasted experience
if you learn something from it.
461
00:21:13,581 --> 00:21:15,310
And I definitely think I did.
462
00:21:15,383 --> 00:21:18,113
Okay! Ready!
30593
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