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1
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,666
It's going to snow again.
2
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,925
The weather is
getting a little nippy.
3
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,938
Yes, good thing
the mail arrived.
4
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,430
Why? Are you expecting
any warm clothing?
5
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:05,642
No, I use the letters
6
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,577
to cover the holes
in my underwear.
7
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,435
I could use a
few letters myself.
8
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:10,881
Yeah, in your case, Schultz,
9
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:13,417
you'd need the New York
Times, Sunday edition.
10
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,073
Gentlemen.
11
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,992
Gentlemen, what
is your pleasure?
12
00:01:18,028 --> 00:01:20,529
Okay, fellows, time
for an eggplant break.
13
00:01:20,564 --> 00:01:22,764
Nein, nein, nein,
nein, nein, nein.
14
00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:23,765
Verboten.
15
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,366
It's against regulation.
16
00:01:25,402 --> 00:01:27,413
But Schultz, if
you don't let him in,
17
00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:29,032
we can't buy his vegetables.
18
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:30,950
And if we don't
buy his vegetables,
19
00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:32,774
he doesn't buy from the farmers.
20
00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:36,211
The farmer has no one to
sell to, he stops planting crops.
21
00:01:36,246 --> 00:01:37,979
Without crops, there's no food.
22
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,948
And without food,
the army starves.
23
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,878
You see, Schultz,
24
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,462
if you don't let him
in the front gate,
25
00:01:43,486 --> 00:01:44,864
you're going to
blow World War II.
26
00:01:44,888 --> 00:01:46,371
All right.
27
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,440
Ah, that's it.
28
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:49,486
You're a good old boy.
29
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:51,943
Hey, you're a good one.
30
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:52,989
Here we go.
31
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:53,979
Come on.
32
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,291
Come on in, then.
33
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,548
We'll help you.
34
00:01:56,583 --> 00:02:00,052
It's cucumbers, tomatoes...
35
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,789
I'll have a tomato.
36
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,642
I'll take two tomatoes.
37
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,026
Yes, certainly, yes.
38
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:09,293
Um...
39
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:12,648
Cucumbers, tomatoes...
40
00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:14,261
Oh, I'll have this cucumber.
41
00:02:14,285 --> 00:02:15,617
Carter, that's a little small.
42
00:02:15,653 --> 00:02:16,653
Here, take the big one.
43
00:02:16,687 --> 00:02:17,753
I'll take the little one.
44
00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:18,831
Oh no, it's fine, sir.
45
00:02:18,855 --> 00:02:20,889
Carter, I think I'd better
have that cucumber.
46
00:02:20,924 --> 00:02:22,335
Oh, no, sir, you
take the big one.
47
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:23,325
But Carter...
48
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,693
This is fine...
49
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,768
What kind of crazy cucumb...
50
00:02:28,799 --> 00:02:31,133
I told you I should
have this one.
51
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,168
Some celery...
52
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,253
Production figures
for the Luftwaffe.
53
00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:36,421
Some cucumber.
54
00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:38,990
Get this to the
underground after roll call.
55
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,026
Right, Colonel.
56
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,662
Schultz!
57
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,547
Schultz!
58
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:46,815
What is going on here?
59
00:02:46,850 --> 00:02:48,049
Herr Kommandant,
60
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,251
we are saving the German
army from starvation.
61
00:02:50,286 --> 00:02:51,297
What?
62
00:02:51,321 --> 00:02:52,453
You see, Herr Kommandant,
63
00:02:52,489 --> 00:02:54,522
if the prisoners do
not buy from this man,
64
00:02:54,557 --> 00:02:56,758
this man is not going
to buy from the farmers,
65
00:02:56,793 --> 00:02:58,927
the farmers are not
going to do any planting,
66
00:02:58,962 --> 00:03:00,662
and if the farmers
do not do any...
67
00:03:00,697 --> 00:03:01,663
Schultz!
68
00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:03,242
Throw that peddler out.
69
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,633
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
70
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,648
Ich geh schon, ich geh schon.
71
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:09,771
Geh schon.
72
00:03:09,806 --> 00:03:12,218
No one goes in
and out of here today
73
00:03:12,242 --> 00:03:13,541
without my permission.
74
00:03:13,576 --> 00:03:15,877
Sounds like we're
going to have company.
75
00:03:15,912 --> 00:03:18,713
Is it Two-Ton Herman
or the little sign painter?
76
00:03:18,749 --> 00:03:22,250
Hogan, it is not the
Führer or Marshal Göring.
77
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:25,203
Don't tell me it's Himmler
with the laughing face.
78
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:26,504
We are honored tomorrow
79
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,707
by the presence of
Field Marshal Kesselring.
80
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,459
He's coming through here
on his way to Berchtesgaden.
81
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,420
Ah, Major Feldkamp,
very good to see you.
82
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,167
Klink, what are
these prisoners doing
83
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,156
here at the gate?
84
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:46,758
Oh, they're here
on a work detail.
85
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:48,260
You see, it's the maid's day off
86
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:50,455
and we thought with the
field marshal coming...
87
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,025
Are there any
other state secrets
88
00:03:52,049 --> 00:03:53,994
that you think the
prisoners should have?
89
00:03:54,018 --> 00:03:55,617
Major Feldkamp, I assure you...
90
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,330
Why don't you
give them the plans
91
00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:59,165
of the Normandy
fortification, hmm?
92
00:03:59,189 --> 00:04:01,589
Thanks, anyway, Major,
but we already have those.
93
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,624
Hogan!
94
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,171
Confine these
prisoners to barracks
95
00:04:05,195 --> 00:04:06,161
and double the guards.
96
00:04:06,196 --> 00:04:08,096
Confine these
prisoners to barracks
97
00:04:08,131 --> 00:04:09,363
and double the guards.
98
00:04:09,399 --> 00:04:10,999
I confine you to the barracks
99
00:04:11,034 --> 00:04:12,366
and I double the guards.
100
00:04:12,402 --> 00:04:13,402
Raus!
101
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,154
How do I get this to
the underground now?
102
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,111
I suggest you consult
with the chaplain.
103
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,709
I got an idea.
104
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,657
We sneak into Klink's quarters.
105
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:41,992
Now, we got the figures
106
00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:43,760
on the Luftwaffe's production.
107
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,629
We slip it into his bathing suit
108
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:46,830
and we very carefully
109
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,431
sort of cut the drawstring.
110
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,133
Then when he goes for a swim
111
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,635
and he dives in the water,
112
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,292
the drawstring breaks,
his trunks float away,
113
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:57,763
and we've got another underground
agent waiting downstream.
114
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,731
You have gone crackers.
115
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,012
Well, I just wanted to see
116
00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:05,170
if anybody was paying attention.
117
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,571
I'm almost desperate enough
118
00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:07,739
to go with the plan.
119
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,085
I say we slip the message
120
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,720
into one of the dog's collars,
121
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,944
round up some fleas,
put them on the dog.
122
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,891
They'll send him
to a veterinarian,
123
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,749
and we have an agent
waiting at the doctor's office.
124
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:21,419
I think I liked the
bathing suit plan better.
125
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,427
Come back later,
Schultz, we're busy.
126
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:31,174
Just a moment, Colonel Hogan.
127
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,682
I'm inviting your men
to a cocktail party.
128
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,050
Is that the bash for
Field Marshal Kesselring?
129
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:37,352
That's correct.
130
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:40,266
What time you sending the
car around for us, Schultzy?
131
00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:41,801
Boy, I hope it's not formal,
132
00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:43,920
because this is the
only outfit I have.
133
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,261
Don't worry about your outfit.
134
00:05:46,296 --> 00:05:49,513
You are all going to
wear white jackets.
135
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,315
What, the old
busboy routine again?
136
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,018
Well, you can
tell Klink I'm out.
137
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,453
And I'm not going to
be a waiter again either.
138
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:58,006
And you can get yourself
another bartender.
139
00:05:58,041 --> 00:06:00,041
Oh, come on,
you're going to spoil
140
00:06:00,076 --> 00:06:02,010
Kommandant
Klink's whole evening.
141
00:06:02,045 --> 00:06:05,046
He planned a cocktail
party for Marshal Kesselring
142
00:06:05,081 --> 00:06:07,448
in his quarters, and
then a dinner party
143
00:06:07,484 --> 00:06:09,033
in town at the Hauserhof.
144
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,035
If we don't get to go
145
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,081
to the dinner,
Schultz, forget it.
146
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:14,255
Oh, Colonel Hogan,
please talk to the men.
147
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,623
Now, wait a minute, fellows.
148
00:06:15,658 --> 00:06:17,358
You shouldn't let
Colonel Klink down.
149
00:06:17,393 --> 00:06:19,727
After all, he's done a
lot of nice things for us.
150
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:20,879
Yeah, you're right.
151
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:23,248
I haven't thanked
him yet for my scurvy.
152
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,649
How about you, LeBeau?
153
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:28,035
Are you going to make
those little hors d'oeuvres, eh?
154
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:29,387
For the party?
155
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:30,449
Of course.
156
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,439
Oh, good.
157
00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:33,675
And Klink will serve
me breakfast in bed
158
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:34,738
on Bastille Day.
159
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,578
LeBeau!
160
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,096
Turnabout's fair play.
161
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:40,832
Please, Colonel
Hogan, tell them.
162
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:43,535
All right, Schultz,
but in private.
163
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,936
I hear nothing!
164
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,608
Adolf Hitler wears
clip-on bow ties.
165
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,221
What did you say, Kinch?
166
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,710
Just testing, Schultz.
167
00:06:58,718 --> 00:06:59,884
This may be a way
168
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,986
to get that paper
to the underground.
169
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,134
But we're not going
to the Hauserhof.
170
00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:05,857
I know, but Klink is.
171
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,593
We could use him as the courier.
172
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,795
But Major Feldkamp,
I don't understand you.
173
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:13,164
Why invite Colonel
Hogan to a cocktail party?
174
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:15,650
I thought you were afraid
of giving him secrets.
175
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,119
I thought it would
be nice for a change
176
00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:20,216
if we got some secrets from him.
177
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,985
But we've never
been able to before.
178
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,842
A change of atmosphere,
a few glasses of schnapps
179
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,294
might loosen his tongue.
180
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,713
Very clever... It's
always loosened mine.
181
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,030
Ja.
182
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:32,061
We have all that in
your bulging dossier.
183
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,713
Well, that's not
what I meant, I...
184
00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:36,337
Just see that Colonel
Hogan is there.
185
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:39,974
I've sent Sergeant Schultz
with a personal invitation.
186
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,071
Any idea how we can
plant the paper on Klink?
187
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,828
In his belt.
188
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,041
That may be difficult.
189
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,448
Not if we switch belts.
190
00:07:46,483 --> 00:07:49,517
Carter, you think you
can duplicate Klink's belt?
191
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:50,985
Oh, I don't have any leather.
192
00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:52,353
I used the last piece I had
193
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,839
to make a carrying case
for my Dear John letters.
194
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:58,025
No problem, for Newkirk.
195
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,761
Hey, uh, Schultz,
got good news for you.
196
00:08:00,797 --> 00:08:01,762
Huh?
197
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,008
I've got good news for you.
198
00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:04,799
Oh, they're going
to serve at the party?
199
00:08:04,834 --> 00:08:05,834
That's right.
200
00:08:07,637 --> 00:08:09,070
Thank you.
201
00:08:09,106 --> 00:08:10,171
Thank you very much.
202
00:08:10,207 --> 00:08:11,306
Thank you very much.
203
00:08:11,341 --> 00:08:13,219
LeBEAU: What time
shall we be there?
204
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,243
What?
205
00:08:14,277 --> 00:08:15,521
What time shall we be there?
206
00:08:15,545 --> 00:08:16,578
At 6:00.
207
00:08:16,613 --> 00:08:19,114
Yeah, well, tell Klink to
start icing the champagne.
208
00:08:19,149 --> 00:08:20,726
Oh, that's wonderful, wonderful.
209
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,518
Thank you from the bottom
of Marshal Kesselring's heart.
210
00:08:24,887 --> 00:08:26,621
So long, Schultz.
211
00:08:26,656 --> 00:08:27,666
Ta-dah!
212
00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:28,701
No problem, Colonel.
213
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:29,690
Great.
214
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,659
Hey, hey!
215
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,529
Excuse me, did...
216
00:08:34,564 --> 00:08:37,265
did anybody see my belt?
217
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:39,867
No, I was surprised when
you came in without it, Schultz.
218
00:08:39,902 --> 00:08:42,704
But don't worry, we won't tell
Klink you were out of uniform.
219
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,522
Thank you, Colonel Hogan.
220
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:48,627
Funny, I could have sworn I
was wearing it when I came in.
221
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,578
Must have lost it, Schultz.
222
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,091
Hey, just be grateful
223
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,675
it wasn't holding
up your trousers.
224
00:08:58,721 --> 00:08:59,732
Ta-dah!
225
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,475
Oh, beautiful.
226
00:09:09,499 --> 00:09:10,832
Thank you, Herr Kommandant.
227
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,193
Uh, uh, uh, Schultz.
228
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,795
This is for the brass.
229
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:24,830
Schultz.
230
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,809
Herr Kommandant,
I came to tell you
231
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,243
that all security measures
232
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,568
for Marshal Kesselring
have been taken.
233
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:31,769
What he really came for
234
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,838
is to swipe a few of
the hors d'oeuvres.
235
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:34,884
That's not true.
236
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,252
I had a lovely dinner
at the mess hall.
237
00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:40,478
Schultz, please, help
yourself to the hors d'oeuvres.
238
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:41,479
Herr Kommandant...
239
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:42,680
Quiet, Cockroach.
240
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,216
You mean it, Herr Kommandant?
241
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,601
Why, of course.
242
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:49,920
Class distinction between
officers and unlisted men
243
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,356
is old-fashioned.
244
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:54,325
We're all in this together,
comrades-in-arms,
245
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,143
fighting for the fatherland.
246
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:59,547
How's it going?
247
00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:03,551
Do you feel anything
cutting your gums, huh?
248
00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:04,652
Any nausea?
249
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:05,753
Dizziness?
250
00:10:05,788 --> 00:10:07,088
Double vision?
251
00:10:07,123 --> 00:10:09,340
How many fingers do I have?
252
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,559
You're using him
as a food taster.
253
00:10:11,594 --> 00:10:12,594
I'm shocked!
254
00:10:12,628 --> 00:10:14,028
T-T-That's all right.
255
00:10:14,064 --> 00:10:15,496
Let him do it.
256
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,975
I'll show you, Herr Kommandant,
257
00:10:16,999 --> 00:10:18,444
there's nothing to worry about.
258
00:10:18,468 --> 00:10:19,945
Have some stuffed eggs, Colonel.
259
00:10:19,969 --> 00:10:21,035
Oh, thank you.
260
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:24,784
You see, Herr Kommandant,
261
00:10:24,808 --> 00:10:26,619
there's no poison in
the hors d'oeuvres.
262
00:10:26,643 --> 00:10:28,754
And no hors d'oeuvres
in the hors d'oeuvres.
263
00:10:28,778 --> 00:10:30,590
Well, I have another
tray in the kitchen
264
00:10:30,614 --> 00:10:31,958
if you want to take a chance.
265
00:10:31,982 --> 00:10:33,626
Then go out and
get one, Cockroach.
266
00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:34,927
Herr Kommandant, I go, too,
267
00:10:34,951 --> 00:10:37,964
to see there is no
funny business going on.
268
00:10:37,988 --> 00:10:39,754
Um, am I the first, sir?
269
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:41,634
I don't want you to
cause any trouble
270
00:10:41,658 --> 00:10:43,669
while Field Marshal
Kesselring is here.
271
00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:44,770
It'll mean the cooler.
272
00:10:44,794 --> 00:10:45,794
Me, cause trouble?
273
00:10:45,828 --> 00:10:47,273
And none of your jokes, Hogan.
274
00:10:47,297 --> 00:10:49,308
The Field Marshal
has no sense of humor.
275
00:10:49,332 --> 00:10:50,465
I wouldn't say that.
276
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,100
He's got some pretty funny
planes in the Luftwaffe.
277
00:10:53,136 --> 00:10:54,547
What are you saying, Hogan?
278
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,304
Well, take the
Messerschmitt 110...
279
00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:58,439
Has no maneuverability
with a bomb load,
280
00:10:58,475 --> 00:10:59,907
and that's just for openers.
281
00:10:59,942 --> 00:11:01,809
Yeah, it's only
good as a fighter.
282
00:11:01,844 --> 00:11:03,789
I don't want you to
mention one word of this
283
00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:05,190
in front of the field marshal.
284
00:11:05,214 --> 00:11:07,382
Why should I straighten him out?
285
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,385
And the ME-109...
It has no air brakes.
286
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,320
It's no good as an escort.
287
00:11:12,355 --> 00:11:13,721
No?!
288
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,390
They're no match for our planes,
289
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,457
that's for sure.
290
00:11:16,493 --> 00:11:18,804
Kesselring selected
those planes personally.
291
00:11:18,828 --> 00:11:21,195
And you said he didn't
have a sense of humor?
292
00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:22,241
Hogan, I order you
293
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,842
not to mention one word of this
294
00:11:23,866 --> 00:11:25,511
while the field marshal is here.
295
00:11:25,535 --> 00:11:27,201
Relax, Colonel, it's our secret.
296
00:11:27,236 --> 00:11:29,596
Achtung.
297
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,595
Ah, welcome, Field
Marshal Messerschmitt.
298
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,596
Kesselring.
299
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:39,597
Kesselring.
300
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,877
Nice to see you
again, Colonel Klink.
301
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:42,933
Thank you, sir.
302
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:45,269
May I present Colonel Hogan.
303
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:46,270
Colonel.
304
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,271
Fräulein Ziegler,
305
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,584
Colonel Klink, Colonel Hogan.
306
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,586
Sir, would you care for
some hors d'oeuvres?
307
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:51,810
Thank you.
308
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,825
We switched the belt
on old Klink's coat.
309
00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:57,815
Good.
310
00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:58,882
Mmm.
311
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,156
Ah, Colonel Hogan.
312
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:07,325
The Field Marshal
and I were having
313
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,377
a friendly little
argument today.
314
00:12:09,412 --> 00:12:11,479
Tell me, why are your
American airplanes
315
00:12:11,514 --> 00:12:13,515
so inferior to those
of the Luftwaffe?
316
00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:15,160
Well, I think it's the speed.
317
00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:17,886
Our new planes can't go
over 500 miles an hour.
318
00:12:17,921 --> 00:12:21,556
You have a plane that
goes 500 miles an hour?
319
00:12:21,591 --> 00:12:22,668
Did I say 500?
320
00:12:22,692 --> 00:12:23,824
I meant 300.
321
00:12:23,860 --> 00:12:26,394
You Gestapo have
a way of tricking us.
322
00:12:26,429 --> 00:12:29,230
Well, this is just a
friendly little conversation.
323
00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:32,366
Tell me, have you ever flown
a radar-equipped airplane?
324
00:12:32,401 --> 00:12:34,921
I understand they are
very hard to maneuver.
325
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,018
Um, have you known
the field marshal long?
326
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:40,407
A year.
327
00:12:40,443 --> 00:12:43,244
I always seem to be
attracted to military men.
328
00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:44,645
How nice.
329
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,915
Especially a military
genius like the field marshal.
330
00:12:47,951 --> 00:12:49,962
Uh, did you know
that the Luftwaffe
331
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:52,097
considers us both
military geniuses?
332
00:12:52,121 --> 00:12:53,388
Oh?
333
00:12:53,423 --> 00:12:55,322
I think my stock went up
334
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:59,210
when Kessie picked the
Messerschmitt 110 and 109.
335
00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:01,512
You feel that was a mistake?
336
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:03,381
It is a known fact that the 110
337
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,767
has no maneuverability
with a bomb load.
338
00:13:05,802 --> 00:13:08,002
I thought that was
a military secret.
339
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,054
You're right, you are an expert.
340
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:13,257
No, it's, uh, genius.
341
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,926
This is fascinating.
342
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,394
Tell me more.
343
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,997
Well, you see the
109 has no air brakes
344
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:22,400
and it's very difficult to
use as a bomber escort.
345
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:25,069
And you know all these
things about all our planes?
346
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:26,571
Of course, my dear.
347
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,756
Will you excuse me for a moment?
348
00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:29,923
I'll be right back.
349
00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:32,092
I want to hear more
from my genius.
350
00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:33,439
Anything you wish to know,
351
00:13:33,463 --> 00:13:34,828
just ask me.
352
00:13:34,864 --> 00:13:36,842
Will you excuse us
for a moment, Colonel?
353
00:13:36,866 --> 00:13:37,866
Of course.
354
00:13:41,671 --> 00:13:43,482
How are you doing
with Fräulein Ziegler?
355
00:13:43,506 --> 00:13:45,005
She thinks I'm
a military genius.
356
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,006
Really?
357
00:13:46,041 --> 00:13:47,675
Oh, she's fascinated by me.
358
00:13:49,512 --> 00:13:52,113
I hope that the field
marshal is not jealous.
359
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,859
Well, maybe he'll retire early
360
00:13:53,883 --> 00:13:55,461
and you can make your move.
361
00:13:55,485 --> 00:13:59,320
I don't need you, Hogan, to
tell me when to make my move.
362
00:13:59,355 --> 00:14:00,321
Colonel Klink.
363
00:14:00,356 --> 00:14:01,322
Ah!
364
00:14:01,357 --> 00:14:02,690
Your coat.
365
00:14:02,725 --> 00:14:04,736
Major Feldkamp, how
very, very nice of you.
366
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,744
And now we're off
to the Hauserhof.
367
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,357
No, we are off to
the guardhouse.
368
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,125
You have revealed
military secrets.
369
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:11,760
You are under
arrest for treason.
370
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:12,917
Just a minute, Major.
371
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,485
Colonel Klink didn't discuss
372
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,087
any military secrets with me.
373
00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:18,956
Ah, no, but he did
with Fräulein Ziegler,
374
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:21,311
who is one of our
top Gestapo agents.
375
00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:22,810
After you, Colonel.
376
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,837
You know, Klink has a
good chance of being shot.
377
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,184
Yeah, and we planted
that paper on him.
378
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,942
Maybe we can get him to
leave that belt to us in his will.
379
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,732
You have a visitor,
Herr Kommandant.
380
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,433
Dismissed, Hogan.
381
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,657
Don't be too hasty, sir.
382
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,169
Hogan, I don't
need your sympathy.
383
00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:55,304
Please go away.
384
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,806
All right, but I
just brought you
385
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,046
a little something to eat.
386
00:14:58,081 --> 00:14:59,158
Something to eat?
387
00:14:59,182 --> 00:15:01,382
Open up, Schultz, open up.
388
00:15:01,551 --> 00:15:02,816
Leftover hors d'oeuvres, sir.
389
00:15:04,387 --> 00:15:06,487
A shame you had to
leave the party so early...
390
00:15:06,523 --> 00:15:08,523
It really started to
swing after you left.
391
00:15:08,558 --> 00:15:09,635
Mmm... you have any more?
392
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,025
Oh, yeah.
393
00:15:11,061 --> 00:15:12,427
A little desert.
394
00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:14,195
Mmm, thank you.
395
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,863
Here, uh, let me
loosen that belt.
396
00:15:15,898 --> 00:15:18,166
You seem a little
stuffed from all that food.
397
00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:19,201
What food?
398
00:15:19,235 --> 00:15:21,102
It's the first thing
I've had all day.
399
00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:22,848
Yeah, well, then let
me take your coat.
400
00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:24,116
It's a little warm in here.
401
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,173
Warm in here?
402
00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:26,407
It must be freezing.
403
00:15:26,443 --> 00:15:28,454
Well, it's not the
temperature, it's the humidity.
404
00:15:28,478 --> 00:15:29,710
Hogan, please leave me alone.
405
00:15:29,745 --> 00:15:31,079
You've caused enough problems.
406
00:15:31,114 --> 00:15:33,114
Well, you're the one
that shot off his mouth...
407
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,416
Had to try to be a big
man to that little blonde.
408
00:15:35,452 --> 00:15:36,595
You're cruel, Hogan.
409
00:15:36,619 --> 00:15:37,585
Well, it's the truth.
410
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:39,398
All a dame has to
do is say hello to you,
411
00:15:39,422 --> 00:15:42,056
and you're ready to give her
a road map to Hitler's bunker.
412
00:15:42,091 --> 00:15:44,291
So I like women... kill me.
413
00:15:44,326 --> 00:15:45,893
I wouldn't say that
too loud in here.
414
00:15:45,929 --> 00:15:47,339
Hogan, the saddest
day of my life
415
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,641
was the day you got captured.
416
00:15:48,665 --> 00:15:49,775
Are you kidding?
417
00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:51,544
Before I arrived, you
had so many escapes
418
00:15:51,568 --> 00:15:54,079
they were going to put a
revolving door at the front gate.
419
00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:55,770
You told me about
the Messerschmitt 110!
420
00:15:55,805 --> 00:15:56,837
Who asked you?
421
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:57,983
Thought you'd like to know
422
00:15:58,007 --> 00:15:59,451
what's going on
in the Luftwaffe.
423
00:15:59,475 --> 00:16:01,508
I am the commandant
of a prisoner-of-war camp,
424
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,910
not a military expert.
425
00:16:02,946 --> 00:16:05,012
That's "genius."
426
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:07,014
Mein Herr Ex-Kommandant.
427
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,260
What is it, Schultz?
428
00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:09,750
I've good news and bad news.
429
00:16:09,786 --> 00:16:11,586
Give him the good
news first, Schultz.
430
00:16:11,621 --> 00:16:14,021
They ordered you to be
shot first thing in the morning.
431
00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:17,458
That's good news?
432
00:16:17,493 --> 00:16:18,926
What's the bad news?
433
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:21,596
They're not giving
you a blindfold.
434
00:16:21,631 --> 00:16:24,415
That's hard to believe,
even for the Gestapo.
435
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:27,852
They're asking for
volunteers for the firing squad.
436
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:31,522
Hah! They'll never get eight
volunteers from my men.
437
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:34,191
I beg to report, Herr
Kommandant, they did.
438
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:35,993
How many volunteered?
439
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:37,061
Seventy-six.
440
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:38,262
How many men do you have?
441
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:40,114
Eighty-two.
442
00:16:40,149 --> 00:16:42,099
At least six of
my men are loyal.
443
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:43,668
No, Herr Kommandant.
444
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:47,438
Two are in the hospital
and four are on furlough.
445
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,273
Well, that makes it unanimous.
446
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,475
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
447
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:52,827
We only have 80 men.
448
00:16:52,862 --> 00:16:57,064
Not counting the two deserters,
but they came back this morning
449
00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:00,201
when they heard that
you were going to be shot.
450
00:17:10,746 --> 00:17:11,846
Gin.
451
00:17:11,881 --> 00:17:13,047
Gin?
452
00:17:13,082 --> 00:17:14,414
Did I catch you with much?
453
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,983
I got so many kings and queens,
454
00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:18,219
it looks like a dance
at Buckingham Palace.
455
00:17:21,557 --> 00:17:22,835
You didn't get Klink's belt.
456
00:17:22,859 --> 00:17:24,024
No, I didn't,
457
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:26,538
and to tell you the truth,
I'm just as glad I didn't.
458
00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:27,661
Why?
459
00:17:27,696 --> 00:17:29,947
He may have to
eat it for dinner.
460
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,794
They're really putting the
screws on him, aren't they?
461
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,162
They have the firing squad
462
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,397
taking target practice
outside his window.
463
00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,155
That's cruel, even
for the Boche.
464
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:39,791
Worse yet, they're using
a monocle for a bulls-eye.
465
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,125
How's Klink taking it?
466
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,905
He's taking it like
the man that he is...
467
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,473
On his knees,
sobbing hysterically.
468
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,731
We've got to come up with
a plan for Klink's escape
469
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,032
or we'll never get that belt.
470
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,701
Aw, he could never
handle an escape.
471
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,369
Yeah, the colonel is right.
472
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,438
Some guard would
shoot him in five minutes.
473
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:55,439
I think he's safer
474
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:57,554
in front of the firing squad.
475
00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:58,809
Hi, Schultz.
476
00:17:58,845 --> 00:17:59,810
Shh.
477
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:00,945
Shh!
478
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:01,980
What's up?
479
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:07,018
I have a plan to get
Commandant Klink to Switzerland,
480
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,318
but I need your help.
481
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:09,487
Forget it, Schultz.
482
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,022
It won't work.
483
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,890
You haven't even heard my plan.
484
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,325
All right, let's
hear it, Schultz.
485
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,360
Shh.
486
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:20,164
I put a little something
into the dogs' food
487
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:22,366
that will make them sleep.
488
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,802
Then when Corporal
Wolfschmidt comes on guard duty,
489
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,871
I offer him a little schnapps.
490
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:31,742
He goes into my room...
That will give me the chance
491
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:36,347
to plant some dynamite in
front of Commandant Klink's cell
492
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:37,814
and blow it up.
493
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,816
Then I'll take the
Commandant Klink
494
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:43,287
and put him into my brother-
in-law's car outside the fence
495
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:45,122
and off he goes to Switzerland!
496
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,733
Don't like my plan, huh?
497
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,702
Uh, Schultz, why
don't you just use
498
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,337
the key you have here
to unlock his cell door?
499
00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:01,850
If you got enough dynamite
500
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,319
to blow up the door,
it'll blow up Klink.
501
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:07,245
How about the part with the dog?
502
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,546
They hate you, Schultz.
503
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,764
You couldn't get
within 20 feet of them.
504
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,065
He's right.
505
00:19:12,101 --> 00:19:13,200
I have a plan.
506
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,435
Come here.
507
00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:16,614
Stay with Wolfschmidt
and the schnapps bit,
508
00:19:16,638 --> 00:19:19,017
forget the dogs... they bite
the hand that feeds them...
509
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:21,053
And also cancel your
brother-in-law's car.
510
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,844
But what do we use to
get Klink to Switzerland?
511
00:19:23,879 --> 00:19:26,191
Field Marshal Kesselring's car.
512
00:19:26,215 --> 00:19:29,083
Oh, wunderbar, wonderful!
513
00:19:29,118 --> 00:19:30,262
Now, have Klinky in the car
514
00:19:30,286 --> 00:19:31,952
exactly 9:05 and
leave the rest to us.
515
00:19:31,988 --> 00:19:33,265
Oh, thank you, thank you.
516
00:19:33,289 --> 00:19:35,200
I knew I could count
on the prisoners
517
00:19:35,224 --> 00:19:37,304
to help the
commandant to escape.
518
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,605
I thought we were not going
to try to help Klink escape.
519
00:19:40,629 --> 00:19:42,429
Well, you don't think
that Laurel and Hardy
520
00:19:42,465 --> 00:19:44,198
can really make their
plan work, do you?
521
00:19:44,233 --> 00:19:45,410
But if they try,
522
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,979
they'll be shot by
the ruddy Gestapo.
523
00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:48,035
No, they won't.
524
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:49,303
I've got another plan.
525
00:19:49,338 --> 00:19:51,038
It's going to save Klink's life,
526
00:19:51,073 --> 00:19:52,673
and we wind up with the belt.
527
00:19:52,708 --> 00:19:56,644
Care to have some
schnapps, Wolfschmidt?
528
00:19:56,679 --> 00:20:00,514
I have a bottle under
the pillow in my room.
529
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:02,416
Go and get it.
530
00:20:07,323 --> 00:20:09,563
What's the word, Schultz?
531
00:20:09,992 --> 00:20:12,326
I have good news and bad news.
532
00:20:12,361 --> 00:20:14,072
This time give me
the bad news first.
533
00:20:14,096 --> 00:20:16,597
Headquarters turned
down your reprieve.
534
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,544
So what could be good news?
535
00:20:18,568 --> 00:20:22,369
They're giving you
steak with your last meal.
536
00:20:22,405 --> 00:20:26,256
Oh, Herr Kommandant,
I have a very good idea.
537
00:20:31,347 --> 00:20:32,879
Herr Kommandant, I have a plan.
538
00:20:32,915 --> 00:20:34,714
If you follow me,
539
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:39,219
you will be in
Switzerland in the morning.
540
00:20:39,255 --> 00:20:41,288
Me run?
541
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,435
Huh! Schultz, you forget...
542
00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:45,159
I am a German officer.
543
00:20:45,194 --> 00:20:47,794
My father before me
was a German officer.
544
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:51,065
All the Klink men have
always served in the military,
545
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:52,132
and the one thing
546
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,834
that has set them
apart from all the others
547
00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:56,002
was their courage.
548
00:20:56,038 --> 00:20:58,439
How would you like your steak?
549
00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,040
What do you want me to do?
550
00:21:05,414 --> 00:21:06,654
Stand back.
551
00:21:08,784 --> 00:21:10,484
Ooh! Ooh, ooh.
552
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,796
I'm... I'm sorry.
553
00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:14,354
I-I wanted to break
down the door.
554
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:16,756
You don't have to.
555
00:21:18,227 --> 00:21:19,426
Use the key!
556
00:21:19,462 --> 00:21:21,306
Oh, I'm sorry... I forgot.
557
00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:23,810
Just a moment, Herr Kommandant.
558
00:21:26,935 --> 00:21:27,935
Shh!
559
00:21:34,743 --> 00:21:35,943
We've got five minutes left.
560
00:21:35,978 --> 00:21:36,943
Any sign of them?
561
00:21:36,979 --> 00:21:37,979
Not yet, sir.
562
00:21:39,648 --> 00:21:41,449
Sounds like Stan and Ollie now.
563
00:21:41,484 --> 00:21:42,917
Clumsy idiot.
564
00:21:42,952 --> 00:21:44,329
I'm sorry, Herr Kommandant.
565
00:21:44,353 --> 00:21:45,397
I didn't see the can.
566
00:21:45,421 --> 00:21:47,421
Next time watch
where you're going.
567
00:21:47,457 --> 00:21:48,457
Shh.
568
00:21:49,692 --> 00:21:51,742
They'll be shot before
they even reach the car.
569
00:21:53,679 --> 00:21:55,312
Ooh... shh!
570
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:00,617
Here they come.
571
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:01,652
Stand by.
572
00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:12,062
Ow!
573
00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:13,930
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
574
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,365
Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
575
00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:18,602
Herr Kommandant, they have
wonderful doctors in Switzerland.
576
00:22:18,637 --> 00:22:20,237
Dismissed.
577
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:21,671
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
578
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:24,641
Herr Kommandant, good
luck, and I hope we meet again.
579
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,960
Never mind, I'll do it.
580
00:22:33,502 --> 00:22:34,735
Something wrong?
581
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:36,014
The car won't start.
582
00:22:37,639 --> 00:22:38,605
We can push it.
583
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:39,920
That's right.
584
00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:43,360
Now, push hard, Schultz.
585
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:44,894
Hurry up.
586
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,830
Push, Schultz.
587
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,566
What happened, Colonel?
588
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:50,800
The battery's dead.
589
00:22:50,836 --> 00:22:52,836
All right, come on,
everybody, push.
590
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:53,837
All right, fine.
591
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:54,838
I'll get in now.
592
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:55,839
Oh, no, not yet.
593
00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:57,007
What? But wait!
594
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,275
Hey, wait, wait!
595
00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:01,077
My car, it's gone.
596
00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:02,579
My only chance for freedom.
597
00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:03,847
Ah... oh!
598
00:23:09,772 --> 00:23:11,350
What is going on here?
599
00:23:11,374 --> 00:23:14,441
Klink, what are you
doing out of the cooler?
600
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:15,642
Well, for one thing,
601
00:23:15,677 --> 00:23:18,262
saving the life of Field
Marshal Kesselring.
602
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:19,880
What are you talking about?
603
00:23:19,916 --> 00:23:20,881
It's obvious.
604
00:23:20,917 --> 00:23:23,217
Colonel Klink looked
out of his cell window,
605
00:23:23,252 --> 00:23:26,253
saw somebody planting a
bomb in the field marshal's car,
606
00:23:26,289 --> 00:23:28,923
overpowered the guard,
and at the risk of his own life
607
00:23:28,958 --> 00:23:30,690
ran out to save
the life of the man
608
00:23:30,726 --> 00:23:32,092
who condemned him to death.
609
00:23:32,128 --> 00:23:34,073
Is that what happened,
Colonel Klink?
610
00:23:34,097 --> 00:23:36,764
Sir, I couldn't have
told it better myself.
611
00:23:36,799 --> 00:23:39,533
I am very grateful
to you, Colonel.
612
00:23:39,568 --> 00:23:41,218
You are a brave man.
613
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:42,614
Thank you, sir.
614
00:23:42,638 --> 00:23:43,670
All right, Schultz.
615
00:23:43,705 --> 00:23:45,705
Take the colonel
back to the cooler.
616
00:23:45,741 --> 00:23:47,185
No need for that, Major.
617
00:23:47,209 --> 00:23:48,753
I am dropping the charges
618
00:23:48,777 --> 00:23:51,740
and reinstating him as
Commandant of Stalag 13.
619
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:54,164
Thank you, sir.
620
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,277
Well, I think this
calls for a celebration.
621
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:58,080
Why don't we all
go to the Hauserhof?
622
00:23:58,104 --> 00:24:00,838
I'm sure Colonel Klink and I
will be glad to buy the drinks.
623
00:24:00,873 --> 00:24:01,839
Excellent idea!
624
00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:02,884
We can go in my car.
625
00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:04,575
What are you talking about?
626
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:06,043
This man is a prisoner!
627
00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:07,912
I keep forgetting.
628
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:10,297
I'm sorry, sir, you'll have
to host this party yourself.
629
00:24:27,016 --> 00:24:29,016
Dismissed, Schultz.
630
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,448
Get in touch with
the underground?
631
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:36,240
They're at the Hauserhof
waiting for Klink and his belt.
632
00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:37,341
Well, gentlemen,
633
00:24:37,376 --> 00:24:39,143
we have good news and bad news.
634
00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:40,922
What's the good news, Schultz?
635
00:24:40,946 --> 00:24:42,947
Colonel Klink is back.
636
00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,331
What's the bad news?
637
00:24:44,366 --> 00:24:47,434
We have to call
off the firing squad.
41642
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