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1
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,440
Oh, Schultz, I
just heard that...
2
00:00:58,476 --> 00:01:01,060
This is very nice.
3
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:04,063
Germany is locked in a death
struggle with her enemies,
4
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,414
and you're practicing
to be a trained seal.
5
00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:08,650
He's got to have a
trade for after the war, sir.
6
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:09,963
Hogan, what are you doing here?
7
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,853
Shopping for a trained seal act.
8
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,316
If you don't mind, I would like
9
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:14,951
to conduct some
Luftwaffe business.
10
00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:16,074
Okay.
11
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:18,543
Major Strauss
called from Stalag 4.
12
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,457
General Burkhalter
and Captain Ritter
13
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,880
are on their way over here.
14
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,727
Have the VIP
quarters been cleaned?
15
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,435
All is in order,
Herr Commandant.
16
00:01:26,470 --> 00:01:28,370
And lucky for you. Carry on.
17
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,022
You... out!
18
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,124
Dismissed.
19
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:36,812
Who's Captain Ritter?
20
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,147
Luftwaffe staff officer,
Intelligence Section.
21
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,350
Any idea why he's
coming to Shangri-La?
22
00:01:41,385 --> 00:01:43,697
The big shot doesn't
tell us anything.
23
00:01:43,721 --> 00:01:44,953
Yeah.
24
00:01:44,988 --> 00:01:46,020
I can see you're busy.
25
00:01:46,056 --> 00:01:47,056
I'll see you later.
26
00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:51,926
Ah?
27
00:01:54,165 --> 00:01:55,430
Intelligence officer?
28
00:01:55,466 --> 00:01:56,965
Right, and due
here in a few hours.
29
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:57,966
Could be important.
30
00:01:58,001 --> 00:01:59,968
Kinch, radio London,
tell them to stand by.
31
00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:01,436
We may have something for them.
32
00:02:01,472 --> 00:02:02,638
Right.
33
00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:03,972
LeBeau, Carter, when Burkhalter
34
00:02:04,007 --> 00:02:05,340
and this Captain Ritter arrive,
35
00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:06,675
I want you to get in the office
36
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,776
and clean it... ears open.
37
00:02:07,811 --> 00:02:09,389
We already did that once, sir.
38
00:02:09,413 --> 00:02:10,579
Clean it again, Carter.
39
00:02:10,614 --> 00:02:12,013
Hasn't anyone ever told you
40
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,282
war is a dirty business?
41
00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:29,213
Bonjour!
42
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,149
Hi, folks.
43
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,828
What are you doing in here?
44
00:02:32,852 --> 00:02:34,486
We've come to clean the office.
45
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,098
But you cleaned it this morning.
46
00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:37,072
That's right.
47
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,102
Where does the time go?
48
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,604
Out!
49
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,472
The officers are
having a meeting.
50
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,795
No one allowed in here.
51
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,096
Well, with all that brass here,
52
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,898
you want everyone to
look busy, don't you?
53
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,028
Never mind.
54
00:02:48,052 --> 00:02:49,095
We'll tell Colonel Hogan
55
00:02:49,119 --> 00:02:50,430
you wouldn't let us clean it.
56
00:02:50,454 --> 00:02:51,936
And he'll tell Klink.
57
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,249
And Klink will tell you.
58
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,773
Oh, boy, will he tell you.
59
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,107
Hey, drop us a postcard.
60
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:58,894
Let us know which combat
unit you've been assigned to.
61
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,228
Bye, ma'am. Au revoir.
62
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,441
Wait a minute!
63
00:03:01,465 --> 00:03:03,432
Come in.
64
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:06,067
Go ahead. Clean...
But make it fast.
65
00:03:13,811 --> 00:03:16,445
Would you move your
great bulk aside, Sergeant?
66
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:17,979
Wh-Wh-What for?
67
00:03:18,014 --> 00:03:21,149
We have to clean inside
the closet. Thank you.
68
00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:36,197
What brings you to Stalag 13?
69
00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:38,344
Captain Ritter has been ordered
70
00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:41,002
to acquaint himself
with Luftwaffe
71
00:03:41,038 --> 00:03:43,338
prisoner-of-war facilities.
72
00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:44,717
The general was kind enough
73
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:47,003
to let me tag along
on the inspection tour.
74
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,594
I'm at your disposal, Captain.
75
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:52,314
I will give you any
information that I have.
76
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,748
Danke, Herr Colonel.
77
00:03:53,784 --> 00:03:57,485
You may learn a few
things anyway. Hmm!
78
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:01,272
Will you be filing a report
with Headquarters, sir?
79
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:03,386
I mean, are they
contemplating any changes?
80
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,311
Klink's a very secure man.
81
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:07,490
No report, Colonel.
82
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,658
My work is
Luftwaffe Intelligence.
83
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,451
There, there is
nothing more intelligent
84
00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,453
than Intelligence, I always say.
85
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:19,124
Unfortunately, that's
what he always says,
86
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,942
among other things.
87
00:04:20,978 --> 00:04:22,561
The general knows me so well.
88
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,946
It has not been easy.
89
00:04:24,982 --> 00:04:26,615
Well, Captain,
90
00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:27,815
we shall try to make things
91
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,384
as comfortable
as possible for you.
92
00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:30,985
Now, if there is
anything I can do.
93
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,599
There is one small
thing, Colonel.
94
00:04:32,623 --> 00:04:33,788
Mm-hmm.
95
00:04:33,823 --> 00:04:35,768
I have a Luftwaffe
code book with me.
96
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,003
Top secret, of course.
97
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,794
I wonder if you could
put it in your safe.
98
00:04:39,829 --> 00:04:41,796
Captain.
99
00:04:41,831 --> 00:04:45,567
I shall make it my
personal responsibility.
100
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:56,961
Voilà.
101
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,813
In the safe it goes.
102
00:04:58,849 --> 00:04:59,959
In the office safe.
103
00:04:59,983 --> 00:05:02,417
Oui. Wrapped in a nice
waterproof package.
104
00:05:02,453 --> 00:05:03,418
Luftwaffe codes.
105
00:05:03,454 --> 00:05:05,420
Just what London
wants for Christmas.
106
00:05:05,456 --> 00:05:07,300
It's not what I want
for Christmas, boy.
107
00:05:07,324 --> 00:05:08,423
Can we get it?
108
00:05:08,459 --> 00:05:09,969
I'd have to steal it
long enough to copy it.
109
00:05:09,993 --> 00:05:11,838
Boy, what I'd like for Christmas
110
00:05:11,862 --> 00:05:14,563
is some new tires for my
motorcycle back home.
111
00:05:14,598 --> 00:05:16,631
Newkirk could open
the commandant's safe.
112
00:05:16,667 --> 00:05:17,766
I've done it before.
113
00:05:17,801 --> 00:05:18,767
Very risky.
114
00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:20,313
A man could get killed that way.
115
00:05:20,337 --> 00:05:21,448
Not if you don't speed.
116
00:05:21,472 --> 00:05:22,571
It's worth a try.
117
00:05:22,606 --> 00:05:24,038
All right, Newkirk'll
get the book.
118
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,440
Kinch, you handle
the switchboard.
119
00:05:25,476 --> 00:05:26,716
We need Klink out of his office
120
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,176
for about ten
minutes. That's it.
121
00:05:28,211 --> 00:05:29,622
Boy, wouldn't do any good
122
00:05:29,646 --> 00:05:32,581
to get those tires to my
motorcycle for Christmas.
123
00:05:32,616 --> 00:05:34,794
I'd have to be back
home to enjoy them.
124
00:05:34,818 --> 00:05:36,295
Boy, that's what I wish.
125
00:05:36,319 --> 00:05:38,197
I wish I was a civilian again.
126
00:05:38,221 --> 00:05:39,320
So do we, Carter.
127
00:05:39,356 --> 00:05:40,422
So do we.
128
00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:44,437
Just answer my
question, Newkirk.
129
00:05:44,461 --> 00:05:46,072
Do you call these windows clean?
130
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,273
I do the best I can, sir.
131
00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:49,242
Well, if that's an
example of your best,
132
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,943
maybe you ought
to try your worst.
133
00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:52,078
That's very funny, Colonel.
134
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,413
I don't mind being knocked about
135
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:54,580
with a touch of humor, sir.
136
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,605
What is going on here?
137
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,689
Just a minute, Commandant.
138
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,658
When you do a job,
don't you try to be perfect?
139
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,093
I mean, when you're working,
what are you thinking about?
140
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:03,239
Girls, mostly, sir.
141
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,523
It's been a long war.
142
00:06:04,547 --> 00:06:06,047
This is my office, you know.
143
00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:07,214
What's going on here?
144
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,394
The colonel doesn't fancy
145
00:06:08,418 --> 00:06:10,463
the job I did on your
windows, Commandant.
146
00:06:10,487 --> 00:06:12,232
Well, if the windows
in the nerve center
147
00:06:12,256 --> 00:06:13,967
of Stalag 13 can't
be clean, I give up.
148
00:06:13,991 --> 00:06:15,490
They look all right to me.
149
00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:17,370
Commandant, do
you want Burkhalter
150
00:06:17,394 --> 00:06:20,095
to tell that gang in Berlin
that you've got DW?
151
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,830
DW?
152
00:06:21,865 --> 00:06:23,131
Dirty windows.
153
00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:25,300
Oh, never mind. Get on with it.
154
00:06:25,335 --> 00:06:27,179
Commandant, would
you like to step outside
155
00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:28,848
for a few minutes
while I do the job?
156
00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:31,839
No, the commandant would
like to continue his work.
157
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:35,310
Now, clean the
windows and do it quietly.
158
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,867
Colonel Klink speaking.
159
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:42,984
Heil Hitler.
160
00:06:43,019 --> 00:06:45,286
Sergeant of the guard,
Herr Commandant.
161
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,789
General Burkhalter
requests that you report
162
00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,207
to his quarters at once.
163
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,541
I'll be there immediately.
164
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:13,631
Schultz!
165
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,234
Yes, Herr Commandant.
166
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,214
Schultz, did you send for me?
167
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,637
Me send for you?
168
00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:21,806
I never send for anybody,
169
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,142
not even if I need them.
170
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,255
I was told the general
wanted to see me.
171
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,490
I walked in there and
interrupted his nap.
172
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,215
Ooh, how terrible.
173
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:35,153
Interrupting a general's
nap could cost a promotion.
174
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,655
If it costs me a
promotion, Schultz,
175
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:39,836
imagine what it would cost you.
176
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,994
I've got to build up
my efficiency rating.
177
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:46,097
What do we have on
the disciplinary file?
178
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:49,968
The prisoners were writing
nasty things about you
179
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,770
on the barracks walls.
180
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,771
Old stuff.
181
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:53,972
Old, but true.
182
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,107
Oh, shut up. Who cares?
183
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,110
Oh...
184
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,279
There are five silver spoons
185
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,115
missing from the officers mess.
186
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,118
No, that's not... Wait.
187
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,788
That could be it.
188
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:13,191
Call a special formation
of all prisoners at once.
189
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,760
Everyone must be
there, no exceptions.
190
00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:29,224
Tell Kinch to start sending that
191
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,259
to London immediately.
192
00:08:30,293 --> 00:08:31,459
I'll stay here and cover.
193
00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:32,560
Right.
194
00:08:34,497 --> 00:08:35,463
Oh, Colonel.
195
00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:36,909
If you ever get
anything valuable,
196
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,277
I wouldn't keep
it in that bloody
197
00:08:38,301 --> 00:08:39,345
crackerbox if I were you.
198
00:08:39,369 --> 00:08:40,434
Not with you around.
199
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,924
Where do you think
you're going, soldier?!
200
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,304
I'm going to the barracks.
201
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,427
Halt!
202
00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:52,430
There has been a special
formation called at once!
203
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:53,977
Right, Herr
Schultz. I'll be there
204
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,778
and if I'm not there,
start without me.
205
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:57,913
Hold it, now...
206
00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,048
Get this man to the special
207
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,038
formation at once!
208
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,784
Take it easy, take it easy.
209
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,319
There's no need to get alarmed.
210
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,459
Good Lor...
211
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,866
See what you nearly made me do.
212
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,369
Achtung!
213
00:09:14,404 --> 00:09:15,720
Prisoners,
214
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:19,290
the mess sergeant reports that
five silver spoons are missing
215
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:20,609
from the officers mess.
216
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:24,646
The guilty man has 48
hours to return those spoons
217
00:09:24,681 --> 00:09:26,748
and report himself
to the sergeant
218
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,282
for suitable punishment.
219
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:31,552
If he fails to do
so, the entire camp
220
00:09:31,587 --> 00:09:36,758
will be restricted to quarters
and all privileges revoked.
221
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:39,060
Dismissed.
222
00:09:49,139 --> 00:09:51,317
Why did you have
to throw it in the well?
223
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:52,506
I was making a wish.
224
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:54,453
I couldn't eat the bloody
code book, could I?
225
00:09:54,477 --> 00:09:55,688
The question now is, how do we
226
00:09:55,712 --> 00:09:56,989
get the book out of the well?
227
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,779
We could tunnel
up to it, Colonel.
228
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:00,315
Yeah, it'd take too long.
229
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,818
Find an excuse to work
over there... above ground.
230
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,187
We start digging and tell them
231
00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:08,189
we're trying to get
the well started again.
232
00:10:08,224 --> 00:10:09,335
Carter, go away.
233
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,253
Help the Krauts
find those spoons.
234
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,676
Well, hold it, hold it.
235
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:14,145
We could dig that well,
236
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,025
but they'd have to need water.
237
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,481
Okay, we cut the pipes.
238
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:21,152
No, we need more time for
digging. Something bigger.
239
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,182
How about the water
works at Hamelburg?
240
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,422
Hey, that's marvelous!
241
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,002
Hey, see, guys, I
did have an idea.
242
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,703
Blow up the water
works in Hamelburg.
243
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,493
Uh-huh.
244
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,173
The water works in Hamel...
245
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:32,241
Colonel, wait a minute!
246
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:33,231
Don't listen to me!
247
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,226
I don't always know
what I'm saying!
248
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:06,974
Klink!!
249
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,117
And you expect people
to go without water?
250
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,219
What?
251
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,687
I see.
252
00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:38,222
Heil Hitler.
253
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,925
How long will the water be
turned off, Herr Kommandant?
254
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,294
Oh, it may take days.
255
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:45,930
But we do have wine,
General Burkhalter.
256
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:48,983
I've never tried brushing
my teeth with wine.
257
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:52,987
We have several
bottles of Riesling 1936.
258
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,523
And I have no intention
of walking around
259
00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:57,826
with drunken bridgework.
260
00:12:58,862 --> 00:12:59,961
Come in, come in, come in.
261
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:00,962
Excuse me, gentlemen.
262
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,208
A word with you, Commandant?
263
00:13:02,232 --> 00:13:03,331
Not now, Hogan. I'm busy.
264
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:04,498
It's very important, sir.
265
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:05,778
It's about the water supply.
266
00:13:05,802 --> 00:13:07,168
I said not now.
267
00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:08,815
Well, I mean, my
men are without water.
268
00:13:08,839 --> 00:13:10,599
We want you to turn
on the reserve supply.
269
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,123
Reserve supply?
270
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,125
There is no reserve supply.
271
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,694
No reserve supply?
That's shocking.
272
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:19,008
What are your plans to
meet the emergency, sir?
273
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,332
Well, we are considering
the problem right now.
274
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,434
This is a high-level
meeting for just that purpose.
275
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:27,438
A high-level meeting
with low-level thinking.
276
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,541
Have you suggested
the dry well, sir?
277
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,243
I haven't gotten to that yet.
278
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:33,555
Might be reactivated.
279
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,991
Give us the tools,
we can start digging.
280
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,515
Of course, start digging...
281
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,516
a tunnel.
282
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:40,818
Request denied.
283
00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:42,320
No escape today.
Thank you, Hogan.
284
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,989
Just a minute, Klink.
285
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,859
You think there is a chance
you could reach water?
286
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,371
What do we got to lose, General?
287
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,494
This high-level talking
288
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,108
isn't going to
solve the problem.
289
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,043
See that tools are
issued to them at once.
290
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,000
Yes, sir. And I think
it's a excellent idea.
291
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,001
Thank you, General.
292
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,547
We'll get to work
on it right away.
293
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,604
Dismissed, Hogan.
294
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,274
Well, gentlemen, to
consider the problem...
295
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:06,244
Klink, get me a
bottle of that Riesling.
296
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,611
At once, sir.
297
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,215
I would like to wash
up before lunch.
298
00:14:21,044 --> 00:14:22,487
I got the book, Colonel.
299
00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:24,411
All right, good. Hold on to it.
300
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,014
Hey, Colonel, water's seeping
into the bottom of the well.
301
00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:28,649
How about that,
we really did a job.
302
00:14:28,685 --> 00:14:30,017
Let's get back to the barracks.
303
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,054
Just a minute, Colonel Hogan.
304
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,840
They are not going
back to the barracks yet.
305
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,174
Line up. Schnell.
306
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,176
What's the idea, Schultz?
307
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:42,046
Spot check. Orders
by the Kommandant.
308
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,814
Come on, we've
been working for hours!
309
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:46,216
Quiet!
310
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:48,096
Still looking for the spoons?
311
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,922
Yes. Klink says he's
going to look for them
312
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:52,523
till the end of the Earth.
313
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,770
And let's hope
it's a one-way trip.
314
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:58,146
Now I'm going to
make the search.
315
00:14:58,181 --> 00:14:59,891
Hey, just a moment, Schultz.
316
00:14:59,915 --> 00:15:01,393
Am I in the right place?
317
00:15:01,417 --> 00:15:02,795
No. I stand over there.
318
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:03,829
You're not over here.
319
00:15:03,853 --> 00:15:05,586
I mean, you're
always on my right.
320
00:15:05,621 --> 00:15:06,754
No, no, I...
321
00:15:06,790 --> 00:15:08,267
I don't care where...
322
00:15:08,291 --> 00:15:11,159
I don't, I don't care
where you stand!
323
00:15:11,194 --> 00:15:12,994
Line up!
324
00:15:13,029 --> 00:15:14,328
Keep it that way!
325
00:15:14,363 --> 00:15:16,130
That's better!
326
00:15:29,745 --> 00:15:31,791
I say forget the
code book, Colonel.
327
00:15:31,815 --> 00:15:33,047
It's lost.
328
00:15:33,082 --> 00:15:35,649
Okay, Ritter checks out,
he asks for it, no book,
329
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,750
big investigation.
330
00:15:36,786 --> 00:15:39,020
You know how it ends?
They shoot us as spies.
331
00:15:39,055 --> 00:15:40,487
Well, we're not spies, Colonel.
332
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,488
We're just POWs.
333
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:42,935
Blowing up bridges and factories
334
00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:44,425
in our spare time.
335
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:46,071
Well, it keeps
us out of trouble.
336
00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:47,161
There's no choice.
337
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,446
Somebody's got to dive for it.
338
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,926
By now there's ten feet
of ice water in the well.
339
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,595
He'll need
earplugs, a flashlight.
340
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,380
We'll waterproof it
with wax and gum.
341
00:15:54,404 --> 00:15:55,837
Who's "he," Colonel?
342
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,288
He's you, that's who he is.
343
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,819
Me?! Dive for that
book in that ice water?!
344
00:15:59,843 --> 00:16:01,420
Carter, you're in
good physical shape.
345
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:02,888
I know you're not
afraid of water.
346
00:16:02,912 --> 00:16:04,812
Just because I take a
bath every Saturday...
347
00:16:04,848 --> 00:16:06,097
That doesn't prove anything.
348
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,976
We have to get most of
the Krauts out of camp.
349
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,120
I've got an idea. Who
hasn't escaped lately?
350
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,734
I don't care to
escape. I like it here.
351
00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:17,603
I've got a plan for a diversion.
352
00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:19,143
It may involve shooting.
353
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:20,945
Makes it sound like fun.
354
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:21,980
What about me?
355
00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:23,454
I'm going to be
under that ice water.
356
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,616
Andrew, you look
better that way.
357
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,520
An escape?
358
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:30,738
Which prisoner?
359
00:16:30,773 --> 00:16:31,972
LeBeau, the Frenchman.
360
00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:33,752
The cockroach wants to leave us?
361
00:16:33,776 --> 00:16:35,254
I thought he liked it here.
362
00:16:35,278 --> 00:16:36,377
Oh, shut up.
363
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:37,662
Go on, Hogan.
364
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,830
Well, he's dyed a blanket
to make a crude uniform.
365
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:42,667
Tomorrow night he wants
me to report a prisoner missing.
366
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,135
The alert starts,
in the confusion,
367
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,236
slips out of the barracks,
joins the search party
368
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:47,312
and leaves camp with them.
369
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,306
Yes, yes.
370
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,307
Once outside the wire,
371
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,308
he slips away,
372
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,623
takes off the
uniform, he's gone.
373
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,377
Brilliant.
374
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:54,692
Stupid.
375
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,182
Uh, stupid and brilliant.
376
00:16:58,217 --> 00:16:59,550
Schultz, arrest the Frenchman.
377
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:00,818
Throw him into the cooler.
378
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,452
Give him a chance
to think it over.
379
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:03,598
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
380
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:04,588
Wrong, Commandant.
381
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,301
Smarter to let him go
through with his plan.
382
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:08,003
Arrest him outside
the wire tomorrow night.
383
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:08,993
What for?
384
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,372
Well, if he has any
outside contacts,
385
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:11,506
pick them up, too.
386
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,308
We are the Luftwaffe, not
the Gestapo. I don't like it.
387
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:15,443
And it would look better
on your efficiency rating.
388
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:17,001
However, I like to
keep an open mind.
389
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,446
We'll try it. Good
thinking, sir.
390
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:20,121
Hogan.
391
00:17:20,156 --> 00:17:22,507
Why are you reporting
one of your own men?
392
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,008
I don't want him to get hurt.
393
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,943
I've learned from
bitter experience...
394
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:28,646
Nobody escapes from
Stalag 13 and the Iron Colonel.
395
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,526
Iron Colonel? Who's that?
396
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,618
Schultz, I wish
you would escape.
397
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,970
I wouldn't raise a
finger to stop you.
398
00:17:43,746 --> 00:17:45,913
Oh, Florence
Chadwick, I presume.
399
00:17:45,948 --> 00:17:48,282
Huh! The Krauts are
all standing by, sir.
400
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,483
Good.
401
00:17:49,518 --> 00:17:51,529
That uniform is perfect,
LeBeau... just bad enough.
402
00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:52,564
Where'd you get the gun?
403
00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:53,353
Belongs to Schultz.
404
00:17:53,389 --> 00:17:54,532
What's he going to use?
405
00:17:54,556 --> 00:17:55,700
That's his problem.
406
00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:56,902
All right, let's get organized.
407
00:17:56,926 --> 00:17:58,804
Newkirk, you'll be in
charge of the flashlight,
408
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,272
the rope and the
blanket. Right, sir.
409
00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:01,606
Kinch, London all
set for the code?
410
00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:02,596
Standing by, Colonel.
411
00:18:02,631 --> 00:18:03,597
Okay, this is it.
412
00:18:03,632 --> 00:18:04,598
LeBeau, let's move out.
413
00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:05,599
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!
414
00:18:05,634 --> 00:18:06,600
Please don't be too German.
415
00:18:06,635 --> 00:18:07,802
They'll never believe it.
416
00:18:08,871 --> 00:18:09,837
Almost set, Carter?
417
00:18:09,872 --> 00:18:10,838
Yes, sir. Okay.
418
00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:12,173
Good luck with
your Channel swim.
419
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:13,288
Thanks.
420
00:18:14,110 --> 00:18:15,976
Oh, that's charming.
421
00:18:27,790 --> 00:18:28,755
Schultz!
422
00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:29,956
Schultz!
423
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:32,843
There's a man missing.
424
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,078
He's gone.
425
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,313
Looks like an escape.
426
00:18:36,348 --> 00:18:40,317
Prisoner escaped!
427
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,902
Prisoner escaping!
428
00:18:41,938 --> 00:18:43,849
Search party, schnell,
schnell, schnell!
429
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,252
Search party, come
on, let's go! Schnell!
430
00:18:46,276 --> 00:18:47,241
Prepare to move out!
431
00:18:47,277 --> 00:18:48,576
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
432
00:18:48,611 --> 00:18:50,444
Schnell, schnell! Let's go!
433
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,790
Come on, let's go.
434
00:18:51,814 --> 00:18:53,976
Schnell, schnell,
schnell, schnell, schnell!
435
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,133
Search party, let's go!
436
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,313
Come on, in the truck!
437
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,448
Schnell, schnell,
schnell, schnell!
438
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,938
Come on, let's go!
439
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:01,974
Schnell!
440
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,847
Forward!!
441
00:19:41,463 --> 00:19:42,463
Come on.
442
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,749
Now, got the signals?
443
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,785
Two tugs on the rope
means we'll pull you up.
444
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:25,223
Three tugs means
trouble, stay down.
445
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,657
Good luck.
446
00:20:35,785 --> 00:20:38,225
Think a short prayer
might be in order, sir.
447
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,323
Is he in the water yet?
448
00:20:42,358 --> 00:20:44,959
It's a half mile down there.
449
00:20:48,364 --> 00:20:50,214
Any more questions, Colonel?
450
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:54,446
We've given him enough time.
451
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,614
Schultz, over there.
452
00:20:55,638 --> 00:20:58,118
The rest of you come with me.
453
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:01,676
That cockroach is
here somewhere.
454
00:21:01,711 --> 00:21:03,177
I think I hear breathing.
455
00:21:03,212 --> 00:21:05,572
I bloody well hope so.
456
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,933
He's ready to come up.
457
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,901
I got that impression myself.
458
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,217
Let's get him up.
459
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:23,831
Hey, he's got it.
460
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:26,150
Watch it. Kraut
coming. Take cover.
461
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,381
LeBeau!
462
00:21:58,417 --> 00:22:01,217
Can you hear me?
463
00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:03,537
I know you're in there.
464
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:05,117
Now come out with your hands up
465
00:22:05,141 --> 00:22:06,301
and you won't get hurt.
466
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,893
LeBeau, don't be a fool.
467
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:10,411
You haven't got a chance.
468
00:22:10,446 --> 00:22:12,780
I will count till three.
469
00:22:12,815 --> 00:22:14,715
If you do not come out,
470
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,918
I will have the patrol fire.
471
00:22:17,953 --> 00:22:19,564
Prepare to fire.
472
00:22:21,123 --> 00:22:22,673
All right, LeBeau.
473
00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:24,475
At the count of three.
474
00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:27,077
One... two... three.
475
00:22:27,112 --> 00:22:28,912
Don't hurt him.
476
00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:31,660
He makes marvelous strudel.
477
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:32,716
Oh, shut up.
478
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:33,784
Fire!
479
00:22:38,307 --> 00:22:40,207
Cease fire!
480
00:22:42,078 --> 00:22:44,644
Get London working
on that right away, huh?
481
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:45,690
Right.
482
00:22:45,714 --> 00:22:47,981
Let's get this blanket on him.
483
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:52,586
Nice going, Carter. Nice going.
484
00:22:53,655 --> 00:22:55,222
There you are, champ.
485
00:22:55,257 --> 00:22:56,968
You did a great job.
486
00:22:56,992 --> 00:22:59,159
He's got an affinity for water.
487
00:22:59,195 --> 00:23:00,527
A natural frogman.
488
00:23:00,563 --> 00:23:02,429
Be a smash in the Navy.
489
00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:05,199
If they ask for him, I'll have
to sign the transfer papers.
490
00:23:08,204 --> 00:23:09,970
If you guys don't mind,
491
00:23:10,005 --> 00:23:11,705
I'll see myself home.
492
00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:26,470
Colonel Hogan, I'm not in...
493
00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:28,150
Newkirk, what are
you doing here?
494
00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:30,252
I was just inspecting
your windows, sir.
495
00:23:30,276 --> 00:23:32,242
Out. Dismissed.
496
00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:36,646
Commandant, you knew
about the escape in advance.
497
00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:38,293
30 days in the
cooler is too stiff.
498
00:23:38,317 --> 00:23:40,317
The man did try to escape.
499
00:23:40,352 --> 00:23:42,314
But I tipped you off.
500
00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:44,638
And what's more,
LeBeau stole those spoons
501
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:47,208
so he could finance
himself once he got out.
502
00:23:47,243 --> 00:23:50,077
Now, nobody steals the
property of the Third Reich
503
00:23:50,112 --> 00:23:51,378
and gets away with it!
504
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:54,715
The spoons.
505
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,833
Will wonders never cease.
506
00:23:56,868 --> 00:23:57,918
But how did they...?
507
00:23:57,953 --> 00:24:00,273
Good fairies must have
returned them during the night.
508
00:24:01,157 --> 00:24:02,589
I knew I would get them back.
509
00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:04,136
Yeah, you've had
a big week, sir.
510
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,570
The spoons have been returned,
511
00:24:05,594 --> 00:24:07,472
you recaptured the
prisoner, we struck water.
512
00:24:07,496 --> 00:24:10,230
Come on now, reduce
LeBeau's sentence.
513
00:24:10,266 --> 00:24:12,132
All right, 15 days
in the cooler.
514
00:24:12,168 --> 00:24:14,546
Come on, Commandant,
that's not like you.
515
00:24:14,570 --> 00:24:16,548
You're so strong
and compassionate
516
00:24:16,572 --> 00:24:18,750
and efficient and
likable and warm
517
00:24:18,774 --> 00:24:20,952
and human and just and fair.
518
00:24:20,976 --> 00:24:24,289
Now, come on, you can
afford to make a gesture.
519
00:24:24,313 --> 00:24:27,314
Why, thank you for the
compliments, Hogan.
520
00:24:27,349 --> 00:24:30,417
One week... and believe
me it's not easy for me
521
00:24:30,452 --> 00:24:31,885
to reduce a sentence.
522
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,532
Believe me, it's not easy for me
523
00:24:33,556 --> 00:24:35,500
to think up those
compliments for you.
524
00:24:36,625 --> 00:24:38,659
Dismissed!
33821
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