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1
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:53,136
Hmm.
2
00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:58,706
Interesting, very interesting.
3
00:00:58,742 --> 00:00:59,774
Hmm.
4
00:01:07,084 --> 00:01:11,053
Concentration, Hogan...
That's the answer.
5
00:01:11,088 --> 00:01:14,689
And knowing exactly
what to look for.
6
00:01:14,724 --> 00:01:15,757
Mm-hmm.
7
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,795
Yep.
8
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,630
You're so right, Commandant.
9
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:25,300
My move?
10
00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:27,035
Not... quite.
11
00:01:29,406 --> 00:01:31,006
Your dinner, Herr Kommandant.
12
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,045
Mm-hmm!
13
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,160
I've got you.
14
00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:12,798
Checkmate.
15
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,466
How do you do it, sir?
16
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:15,801
That's fantastic!
17
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,669
It's very simple, Hogan:
18
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:21,005
I play chess exactly
like I run Stalag 13...
19
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:25,477
Eyes open, watching
your every move.
20
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,190
I, uh... must say, Commandant,
21
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,392
I wish you wouldn't
eat when you play.
22
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,656
You got grease all
over these pieces.
23
00:02:32,969 --> 00:02:33,935
I did?
24
00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:34,953
Mm-hmm.
25
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,288
The way you wolfed
that chicken leg down...
26
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,623
Bad for the digestion.
27
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:41,476
I'm still hungry.
28
00:02:41,511 --> 00:02:43,440
Well, you left your
vegetables and potato.
29
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,308
If you're going to
leave that much food,
30
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,227
I'm going to bring a
doggy bag over here.
31
00:02:49,152 --> 00:02:51,019
Come in.
32
00:02:51,054 --> 00:02:52,020
Excuse me, sir.
33
00:02:52,055 --> 00:02:54,389
Colonel Hogan, you're
needed at the hut.
34
00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:55,635
Okay.
35
00:02:55,659 --> 00:02:57,504
Another game later, Commandant?
36
00:02:57,528 --> 00:02:59,861
Hogan, when will
you ever give up, huh?
37
00:02:59,897 --> 00:03:00,973
Beat you again, Colonel?
38
00:03:00,997 --> 00:03:01,963
Uh-huh.
39
00:03:01,998 --> 00:03:03,476
Sir, you're letting
our side down.
40
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,930
Have Kinch pass
those train schedules
41
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:19,965
on to headquarters, huh?
42
00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:20,965
What's up?
43
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:21,966
Message from London.
44
00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:24,180
One of our agents
posing as a German officer
45
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,214
got himself wounded.
46
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,438
Where is he?
47
00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:28,751
Well, they're going to bring
him into a local hospital.
48
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,553
He's got a lot of top
secret information.
49
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:31,743
And they want us to get it?
50
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:32,955
Right.
51
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:36,559
The only thing is, how do
we get into a German hospital?
52
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,450
Have to visit a sick German.
53
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:41,631
They won't let a
prisoner in to see a Kraut.
54
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,388
They will if it's Klink.
55
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:44,389
He's not sick.
56
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:46,224
No, but he's going to be.
57
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,655
The contact's name
is Major Zimmer.
58
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,923
Recognition code,
one word: Moonglow.
59
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,792
He's got important information.
60
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,115
London wants it fast.
61
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:12,116
They always do.
62
00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:13,418
Tell them we'll try.
63
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,998
May one inquire how you
expect to get into that hospital?
64
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:17,822
Klink's going to be
our ticket, I hope.
65
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,157
Colonel Hogan, Commandant
Klink wants his car.
66
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,460
Help yourself, Schultz,
and good luck to you.
67
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,061
Hey, guys, what are you doing?
68
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,207
Who? Us?
69
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:27,577
Well, what does it look
like we're doing, Schultz?
70
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,901
We are building a giant
metal Wiener schnitzel.
71
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,570
Oh, come on.
72
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,238
And then we send it to Hitler.
73
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,239
For his birthday.
74
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,674
Ridiculous.
75
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,909
But it's not bad.
76
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,055
Schultz, we're repairing
77
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,823
the bloody commandant's
car, aren't we?
78
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,613
And the commandant
wants it right away!
79
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:43,614
Well, it's not ready!
80
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,150
Well, he must
have it right away!
81
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,151
His orders.
82
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,230
He can't have it!
83
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,020
What do you mean,
he can't have it?
84
00:04:53,677 --> 00:04:55,810
Donnerwetter!
85
00:04:55,846 --> 00:04:57,979
No, actually it's
wheel bearing trouble.
86
00:04:58,015 --> 00:04:59,826
Commandant Klink
is going to kill me.
87
00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:00,860
It's war, Schultzy.
88
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,717
You should have
thought of that, mate,
89
00:05:02,753 --> 00:05:04,252
before you marched into Poland.
90
00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:06,471
Schultz!
91
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,806
Trouble.
92
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,761
Trouble, trouble!
93
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,778
Why isn't the car ready?
94
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,925
H-Herr Kommandant, it is them.
95
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:16,992
They... they...
96
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:19,517
they... they didn't!
97
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,518
Commandant...
98
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,554
The men are sorry.
99
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,788
They're trying to do a
good job and it takes time.
100
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,001
Mm-hmm... up to your old
tricks again, Hogan, huh?
101
00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:26,991
Me, sir?
102
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:29,004
Hogan, you'll never learn.
103
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:30,173
I'm on to you.
104
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:33,965
If your purpose is to delay
the German war machine,
105
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,111
it won't work.
106
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,667
Schultz, my motorcycle.
107
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:38,948
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
108
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,138
I wouldn't do that, sir.
109
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,539
I mean, it's in need of repair.
110
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:42,540
Huh!
111
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:43,641
It's not safe.
112
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:44,642
Sir!
113
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,545
Hogan, stop your
foolish little game.
114
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:48,691
It won't work.
115
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,049
I'm on to your every thought.
116
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,853
When will you learn that
the German mind is superior?
117
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,154
Schultz, let's go.
118
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:01,137
Don't move, sir.
119
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,171
Don't move.
120
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,978
Hogan, this is your fault.
121
00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:04,996
My fault?
122
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,231
I told you not to take it.
123
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,027
Carter, you'd better
get an ambulance.
124
00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:09,668
I don't need an
ambulance, I'm all right.
125
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,735
All right?
126
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,848
That's the worst case of
whiplash I've ever seen.
127
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,673
Here, does that hurt?
128
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:15,873
Yes!
129
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:19,744
Oh, boy, it's not just whiplash,
probably brain damage, too.
130
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,179
Hurry, Carter, hurry!
131
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:23,381
Why didn't he believe me?
132
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,382
Why?
133
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:25,983
I'll tell you why...
134
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,654
Because he's a stubborn,
mean, rotten, old...
135
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,323
Schultz!
136
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:32,390
I'm surprised at you.
137
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,559
Aren't you even going to
visit him in the hospital?
138
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:36,277
I know he'd love to
see a friendly face.
139
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,278
Hmm.
140
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,713
That leaves me out.
141
00:06:38,749 --> 00:06:41,716
I wouldn't waste my
time going to see him
142
00:06:41,752 --> 00:06:43,718
for anything in the world.
143
00:06:43,753 --> 00:06:44,736
Okay, Schultz.
144
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,371
He'll recover, come back here
145
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,251
and remember
you didn't visit him.
146
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:49,307
So what?
147
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,142
So how are things at Stalingrad?
148
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:55,363
I'll go and pick up some
nice flowers on my way.
149
00:06:55,399 --> 00:06:57,332
Mind if I come along?
150
00:06:57,367 --> 00:06:58,333
You, Colonel Hogan?
151
00:06:58,368 --> 00:06:59,434
Klink needs us, Schultz.
152
00:06:59,469 --> 00:07:01,703
I know my visit will
mean a lot... to both of us.
153
00:07:05,942 --> 00:07:07,586
Just a minute, Schultz.
154
00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:08,576
Excuse me.
155
00:07:08,611 --> 00:07:10,589
Could you tell me what
room Major Zimmer's in?
156
00:07:10,613 --> 00:07:11,913
Zimmer?
157
00:07:11,948 --> 00:07:13,648
Oh, yes, he's one of the wounded
158
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,784
on the train arriving
at 10:00 tonight.
159
00:07:15,819 --> 00:07:16,785
10:00 tonight.
160
00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:17,786
Thank you.
161
00:07:17,821 --> 00:07:19,120
Who is Major Zimmer?
162
00:07:19,156 --> 00:07:20,321
Oh, just a friend.
163
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,835
How did you know he
was going to be here?
164
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:23,925
Letter from home.
165
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,172
But if he was just wounded...
166
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,162
Air mail.
167
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,197
Oh.
168
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,465
Do I feel feverish to you?
169
00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:32,779
No, Colonel.
170
00:07:32,803 --> 00:07:34,335
Oh, it's probably your presence.
171
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,470
You don't mind if I
call you Gerta, do you?
172
00:07:36,506 --> 00:07:38,472
Oh, what a lovely little hand.
173
00:07:40,443 --> 00:07:42,321
You have visitors, Colonel.
174
00:07:42,345 --> 00:07:43,345
Visitors?
175
00:07:45,315 --> 00:07:49,450
Herr Kommandant, Sergeant
Schultz reporting for a visit...
176
00:07:49,485 --> 00:07:50,562
One visit.
177
00:07:50,586 --> 00:07:51,586
What are you doing here?
178
00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:53,221
You're responsible
for my being here.
179
00:07:53,256 --> 00:07:54,667
How are they treating you, sir?
180
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:55,656
You feeling well?
181
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,792
You tried to kill me,
that's what you did.
182
00:07:57,828 --> 00:07:59,972
That's cruel, sir,
and I don't deserve it!
183
00:07:59,996 --> 00:08:01,379
You deserve it, you deserve it.
184
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,131
I know we're enemies, but...
185
00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:06,635
well, it's... it's like Wellington
felt about Napoleon...
186
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:09,453
He fought him, but he
had to admire the mind.
187
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,655
Napoleon?
188
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:14,325
I know it's wrong, but, in a
way, I've put you on a pedestal.
189
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,893
I had no idea, Hogan.
190
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:20,615
Colonel, the results
of your tests are in...
191
00:08:20,651 --> 00:08:22,083
All negative.
192
00:08:22,118 --> 00:08:24,497
And Dr. Klaus
says you may leave.
193
00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:26,254
Thank you, Nurse Gerta.
194
00:08:26,289 --> 00:08:27,789
Schultz, check with the orderly
195
00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:29,836
and see what they've
done with my uniform.
196
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:31,470
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
197
00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:34,395
Oh, Herr Kommandant,
if you keep any records,
198
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,165
will you please put
me down for one visit?
199
00:08:38,301 --> 00:08:39,434
You can't leave, Colonel.
200
00:08:39,469 --> 00:08:40,435
You're not well.
201
00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:42,003
You have a head
injury, whiplash.
202
00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:43,572
You should be under observation.
203
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:44,918
Oh, yes. For days.
204
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,608
Mm-hmm. Weeks, months.
205
00:08:46,643 --> 00:08:48,543
At least until 10:00 tonight.
206
00:08:48,579 --> 00:08:51,312
I think Dr. Klaus
knows what he's doing.
207
00:08:51,348 --> 00:08:53,565
Which patient are
you talking about?
208
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,399
Klink, Klink... Wilhelm Klink.
209
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:56,501
He's in room 216.
210
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,470
Don't give up, Doctor.
211
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:01,238
I know these hands can save him.
212
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,607
Ja, ja, danke.
213
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:03,942
Klink, huh?
214
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:04,943
Uh-huh.
215
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,678
Wilhelm Klink.
216
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,458
Wilhelm... Ja, ja, here.
217
00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:10,047
He's leaving us today.
218
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,215
Oh, it's much too soon.
219
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,985
I don't know how you could
even consider releasing him.
220
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,665
Well, we are not
forcing him out.
221
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,300
If the colonel feels that
he is not ready to leave,
222
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:19,769
we would insist that he stay.
223
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,192
Thank you, Dr. Klaus, thank you.
224
00:09:22,178 --> 00:09:23,311
Hogan!
225
00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:26,748
Why are you trying to
make me stay here, huh?
226
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:27,849
Why?
227
00:09:27,884 --> 00:09:31,524
No use trying to outsmart
you, but I had to try.
228
00:09:31,588 --> 00:09:32,921
She was desperate.
229
00:09:32,956 --> 00:09:33,989
She begged me.
230
00:09:34,024 --> 00:09:35,807
I... I couldn't refuse.
231
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:36,941
"She"?
232
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,343
Gerta, your nurse.
233
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:41,312
I found her crying
in the linen closet.
234
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,049
Poor kid, she heard
you were leaving.
235
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,462
Something about a woman's tears.
236
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:47,618
But why would Gerta...?
237
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,632
You underestimate
yourself, Commandant.
238
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,489
She lost her heart.
239
00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:52,690
She did?
240
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:56,172
Anything... anything just to
spend one evening with you...
241
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:59,342
To have those lifelong
memories with her forever.
242
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,643
I told her I'd try.
243
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:01,682
I see.
244
00:10:01,717 --> 00:10:05,520
All that affection just
waiting to be released.
245
00:10:05,555 --> 00:10:07,605
But you know best.
246
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,320
Your uniform, Herr Kommandant.
247
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,811
Put it in the closet, Schultz.
248
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,157
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
249
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:15,747
I won't be leaving right away.
250
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,248
♪ Ba-dum, ba-dum, da, da. ♪
251
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,129
Oh, Hogan, you could have
told me that to begin with.
252
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,564
I understand these things.
253
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,021
Yeah, just be gentle, sir.
254
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,056
She deserves it.
255
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:36,116
What are you doing here?
256
00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:39,470
Oh, Dr. Klaus wants you
to have a copy of his book.
257
00:10:39,505 --> 00:10:42,456
He's giving them to
everyone in the hospital.
258
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,326
Where's my Nurse Gerta?
259
00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:47,061
Oh, she's off duty.
260
00:10:47,097 --> 00:10:48,997
I'm taking her place.
261
00:10:49,032 --> 00:10:51,816
If you need
anything, just call me.
262
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,234
She gave up hope, poor kid.
263
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,024
Schultz, bring me my uniform.
264
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,292
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
265
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,460
And hurry up about it.
266
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,894
Jawohl.
267
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,063
I can't wear that!
268
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,598
Go back to camp,
get me a fresh uniform,
269
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,200
and take Hogan with you.
270
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,301
Out!
271
00:11:14,057 --> 00:11:15,701
I can't understand it.
272
00:11:15,725 --> 00:11:18,193
How could Klink go
through a crash like that
273
00:11:18,228 --> 00:11:19,561
and not break anything?
274
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:20,995
Luck of the Irish.
275
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:22,074
My fault, I guess...
276
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,877
I just didn't sabotage that
bloody motorcycle enough.
277
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:25,866
Next time, try
278
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:28,047
for a collarbone or
a wrist or something.
279
00:11:28,071 --> 00:11:30,538
I'm a soldier, not a surgeon!
280
00:11:30,574 --> 00:11:31,539
All right!
281
00:11:31,575 --> 00:11:32,575
Forget it.
282
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,743
We got a problem.
283
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:36,744
Right.
284
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,045
Klink's leaving the hospital,
285
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,359
so how do we get in there
tonight to contact Zimmer?
286
00:11:40,383 --> 00:11:41,910
It's simple... get somebody else
287
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:43,145
admitted to the hospital.
288
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,135
Somebody else?
289
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,503
Just who did you have in mind?
290
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,548
I'm busy.
291
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:48,283
And besides, I'm too healthy.
292
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:52,026
Well, who's going to
volunteer to jump off the roof?
293
00:11:52,061 --> 00:11:54,862
Come on, guys, what's one
little broken leg for the war effort?
294
00:11:56,566 --> 00:11:57,765
Sprained ankle?
295
00:11:59,068 --> 00:12:00,668
Sore throat?
296
00:12:00,703 --> 00:12:02,904
Anybody?
297
00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,672
Would you like to pick
your own sickness?
298
00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:05,885
It's no good.
299
00:12:05,909 --> 00:12:08,053
Anyway, that hospital is
only for Luftwaffe officers.
300
00:12:08,077 --> 00:12:09,622
They wouldn't
send any of us there.
301
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,346
LeBeau's right... we've had it.
302
00:12:11,381 --> 00:12:13,364
Looks like we're dead.
303
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,533
Not dead, maybe a little sick.
304
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:19,904
What if we picked one of the
doctor's favorite diseases, huh?
305
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:22,807
We might get his interest.
306
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,709
How's that one sound?
307
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:31,582
"One of the rare diseases of
the far north is polaris extremis.
308
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:34,451
"It is found only among Eskimos.
309
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:38,122
"Symptoms are pain in
nerve endings in fingers,
310
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,691
"craving for greens in the diet,
311
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:45,062
peripheral motor vascular spasms
in anterior mandible cartilage."
312
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,832
Ho-ho... sounds a
bit naughty, doesn't it?
313
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,166
It's interesting, though.
314
00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:50,634
Yeah, I think the butler did it.
315
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:53,070
A guy could get sick just
reading the symptoms.
316
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,206
All right, all right, come
on, come on... read it.
317
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:56,407
This is the important part.
318
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,586
Right, sir.
319
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,589
"Only known effective
treatment for polaris extremis
320
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,591
is extended bed
rest in hospital."
321
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,581
That's it.
322
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,632
I don't get it.
323
00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:06,801
You don't, but I do.
324
00:13:06,836 --> 00:13:08,135
Kinch, notify London tonight.
325
00:13:08,171 --> 00:13:09,470
LeBeau, get out my old parka.
326
00:13:09,506 --> 00:13:11,584
Newkirk, you're going
to the hospital with me.
327
00:13:11,608 --> 00:13:13,352
You're going to bring
the message back.
328
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,087
Now, let's go over
the symptoms again.
329
00:13:15,111 --> 00:13:19,213
Colonel, are you going to
get that polaris extremis?
330
00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:21,115
That's right, Carter.
331
00:13:21,150 --> 00:13:22,116
Boy, that's tough.
332
00:13:22,151 --> 00:13:23,418
Why?
333
00:13:23,453 --> 00:13:26,086
Well, I don't think your
insurance covers it.
334
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,591
You are fine now, Colonel,
335
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,693
but take it easy for
the next few days, ja?
336
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:38,717
Ja, ja, ja.
337
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:40,997
Come, come.
338
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,021
Ah, my uniform.
339
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,321
Good, good.
340
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,689
Ah, it's good to see you're
fully recovered, Colonel.
341
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:46,757
Iron constitution...
342
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,571
Clean living does it
every time, Schultz.
343
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:49,860
Hogan, what are you doing here?
344
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,824
Herr Kommandant,
please, I told him...
345
00:13:51,848 --> 00:13:53,047
I had to come, Colonel.
346
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,517
I found the man responsible
for the motorcycle.
347
00:13:55,552 --> 00:13:57,351
I want him to see
the pain and suffering
348
00:13:57,387 --> 00:13:58,953
caused by his
criminal negligence.
349
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:01,022
You! In here.
350
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,793
Do you see what you've done?
351
00:14:05,829 --> 00:14:07,529
Well, I've never been
any good, have I?
352
00:14:07,564 --> 00:14:08,897
I've been a bad'n all me life.
353
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:11,076
I have a nephew like him.
354
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,066
It's terrible!
355
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:12,883
Shut up.
356
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:13,868
The men hoped you'd give him
357
00:14:13,904 --> 00:14:14,885
severe punishment, sir.
358
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,171
I'll take care of
this at Stalag 13.
359
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,624
We certainly want
to thank you, Doctor,
360
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,104
for all that you've
done for him.
361
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,094
It's nothing.
362
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:24,473
By the way, as long as I'm here,
363
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,463
I thought you might...
364
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,548
Eskimo.
365
00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:29,783
Oh, it's a little something
my mother made for me.
366
00:14:29,819 --> 00:14:30,951
Helps fight off the cold.
367
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,854
What is it?
368
00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:35,890
Oh, it's just the usual...
369
00:14:35,925 --> 00:14:38,525
Peripheral motor
vascular spasms.
370
00:14:38,561 --> 00:14:39,821
Are you all right now?
371
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:42,930
Mandible cartilage
kicking up again.
372
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:46,884
There is a lot of that
going around nowadays.
373
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,564
You know, I have always
374
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,899
been interested in Eskimo life.
375
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:54,141
Ja, I spent three years in
Alaska, near Anchorage.
376
00:14:54,176 --> 00:14:55,143
Really?
377
00:14:55,178 --> 00:14:56,677
Maybe you met my grandmother.
378
00:14:56,712 --> 00:14:58,679
She was one of the
Anchorage Eskimos.
379
00:14:58,714 --> 00:14:59,925
Ah.
380
00:14:59,949 --> 00:15:01,549
I suppose not... big country.
381
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:02,645
Yes, yeah.
382
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,780
You know, I have written a book
383
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,815
about medicine in the Arctic.
384
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,072
Oh, really?
385
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,628
Uh, you... you have
pain in your fingertips?
386
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:17,765
No, it's not a problem,
just... just hangnails.
387
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,302
What was that you said
about mandible cartilages?
388
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,756
Oh, just the usual... peripheral
motor vascular spasms.
389
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,492
It's really not that bad...
I took a couple of aspirin.
390
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,245
You should drink
plenty of water.
391
00:15:32,248 --> 00:15:34,576
Is it possible?
392
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,784
One moment, please.
393
00:15:36,819 --> 00:15:38,820
Let me see here.
394
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:42,924
Motor vascular...
mandible cartilages...
395
00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:44,186
Where is it?
396
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,576
Page 87.
397
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,180
Ja, ja.
398
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,347
There it is.
399
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:53,017
I knew there was something.
400
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,088
Colonel!
401
00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:00,474
You have polaris extremis!
402
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,931
And I thought he
was just hungry.
403
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:17,909
What is this?
404
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,510
He has got to stay here.
405
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,445
Polaris extremis.
406
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,613
Hogan?
407
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,665
Impossible.
408
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:26,867
Herr Kommandant, you should see
409
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,869
his fingers and his stomach.
410
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:32,139
And he ate the doctor's plant.
411
00:16:32,175 --> 00:16:35,309
Oh, he is a very sick man.
412
00:16:35,345 --> 00:16:36,844
Are you sure, Doctor?
413
00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:39,090
Absolutely... he must not leave.
414
00:16:39,114 --> 00:16:43,183
You know, this is my very
first case of polaris extremis.
415
00:16:43,218 --> 00:16:44,585
Well, if you really think so.
416
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:45,681
Ja, ja, ja.
417
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,955
Now, Schultz, you take
the other one, the criminal.
418
00:16:47,991 --> 00:16:49,090
We're going back to camp.
419
00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:50,719
Colonel, couldn't
he stay with me?
420
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,828
I mean, he's not much,
but... he is one of my kind.
421
00:16:53,863 --> 00:16:54,863
Just in case.
422
00:16:54,897 --> 00:16:56,447
I see absolutely no reason...
423
00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:59,499
I came to be with you, and
now you deny me a friend?
424
00:16:59,535 --> 00:17:01,652
Well, perhaps a few hours.
425
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:03,971
But that's all!
426
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,828
I am Major Zimmer.
427
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:11,829
Oh, yes.
428
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,831
Room 216, Major.
429
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,146
Danke.
430
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:25,476
Zimmer's here, sir.
431
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:27,645
He's in room 216
just down the hall.
432
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,314
Oh, Colonel Hogan.
433
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:32,650
Kommandant Klink wants me
to take Newkirk back to camp.
434
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:33,651
Thank you.
435
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:34,652
Do you feel better?
436
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,153
Oh, much better.
437
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:37,288
Much better.
438
00:17:38,541 --> 00:17:40,240
Terrible.
439
00:17:40,275 --> 00:17:43,177
Please, sir, you've had enough.
440
00:17:43,212 --> 00:17:45,679
Could we be alone for a
few more minutes, Schultz?
441
00:17:45,715 --> 00:17:46,697
Well, I...
442
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,677
I'm making out my
will... It's rather personal.
443
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:49,667
Oh, your will.
444
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,502
Well... ten minutes, hurry up.
445
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:52,537
Good, good.
446
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,484
Well, how do we get
in Zimmer's room?
447
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:56,540
The window?
448
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,053
There's no ledge,
I've checked it.
449
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,077
There's got to be a...
450
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,245
Get in bed, quick!
451
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,281
I'm on my way.
452
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,559
Schultz is out there, sir.
453
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:05,727
You just can't walk out.
454
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:06,717
That's right.
455
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,712
Why walk when I
can take the trolley?
456
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,355
Guten Tag.
457
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:14,391
Fruit juice, Colonel Hogan.
458
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:19,864
Oh, would you like me to
put your flowers in the water?
459
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:23,299
No, thanks, I'll eat them here.
460
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:36,975
Oh... oh, I'm so sorry.
461
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,410
Oh, that's perfectly all right.
462
00:18:38,434 --> 00:18:39,511
May I help you, please?
463
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:42,303
Oh, danke, Sergeant.
464
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:49,877
Mmm.
465
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:55,167
Major Zimmer?
466
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:56,211
Ja?
467
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:58,235
Here's some fruit juice for you.
468
00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,570
I am your night nurse.
469
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:02,072
If you need anything,
just ring the bell
470
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:04,341
and I'll bring it
to you, all right?
471
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,657
Danke.
472
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:14,285
Zimmer.
473
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,752
Who are you?
474
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,555
Papa Bear, your contact.
475
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,356
Code name: Moonglow.
476
00:19:21,277 --> 00:19:23,088
Come on, we
haven't got much time.
477
00:19:23,112 --> 00:19:25,295
All right.
478
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,099
The battleship
Tirpitz is making a run
479
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:30,034
for the open sea tonight.
480
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:33,104
If she gets loose in
the Murmansk convoys,
481
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,455
they are finished.
482
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:37,608
They have got
to get her tonight.
483
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:40,945
I'm sorry, Colonel Hogan,
but I have to pick up Newkirk,
484
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,813
so if you will...
485
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,414
Where is Newkirk?
486
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,886
Where is Newkirk?!
487
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,254
Newkirk, where are you?!
488
00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:52,589
Where is Newkirk,
Colonel Hogan, please...!
489
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,226
Oh...
490
00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:56,827
Thank goodness.
491
00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:00,598
For a minute I thought
you were not here.
492
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:01,599
Oh, I'm here.
493
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,100
This is me, all right, Schultz.
494
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,135
Good.
495
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,807
If it's you... where is he?
496
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:10,658
He who?
497
00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:13,393
He Hogan, that's
he... I mean who.
498
00:20:15,497 --> 00:20:17,031
Where were you, Schultz?
499
00:20:17,066 --> 00:20:18,332
Fine guard you are.
500
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:21,435
You came out, I
came in, I didn't see...
501
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,580
Yeah. How come?
502
00:20:22,604 --> 00:20:24,071
Can Newkirk
stay a little longer?
503
00:20:24,106 --> 00:20:25,072
Absolutely not!
504
00:20:25,107 --> 00:20:26,218
Come on, let's go!
505
00:20:26,242 --> 00:20:27,641
All right, well,
here's the will.
506
00:20:27,676 --> 00:20:28,876
Get it notarized and send it
507
00:20:28,911 --> 00:20:29,944
to my lawyer in London.
508
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:30,979
Will do, sir.
509
00:20:33,382 --> 00:20:34,448
Halt!
510
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,267
This man must not leave.
511
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,236
Your sickness may be contagious.
512
00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:41,739
You are to stay here for a
few days under observation.
513
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,273
Right, it's a marvelous idea.
514
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:45,409
We'll start first
thing in the morning.
515
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:48,245
You must not leave this
room, and that is an order.
516
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,650
Well, that's it, we've had it.
517
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:54,085
We've got the
bloody information;
518
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,519
now we can't get
it back to camp.
519
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:56,565
Are you kidding?
520
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,467
I didn't get polaris
extremis for nothing.
521
00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,456
We'll get it back.
522
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,025
How? Klink.
523
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:02,805
He got us here
in the first place,
524
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:04,762
he'll get us home again.
525
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,431
I didn't know you
Eskimos were so clever.
526
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:13,720
Colonel Klink's office.
527
00:21:13,756 --> 00:21:14,721
Hello, Hilda?
528
00:21:14,757 --> 00:21:15,901
This is Colonel Hogan.
529
00:21:15,925 --> 00:21:17,724
It's for me, Colonel.
530
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,992
It's personal.
531
00:21:23,932 --> 00:21:25,032
Yes?
532
00:21:25,067 --> 00:21:27,584
Listen, I want you
to say my name...
533
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,581
Not too soft, not too loud.
534
00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:31,421
Hogan?
535
00:21:33,443 --> 00:21:36,544
We're escaping from
the hospital tonight...
536
00:21:36,579 --> 00:21:37,722
Out the window.
537
00:21:37,746 --> 00:21:40,381
I'll send you some nylon
stockings from England.
538
00:21:40,416 --> 00:21:41,443
We're on our way.
539
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:46,987
I knew, I knew.
540
00:21:47,022 --> 00:21:48,422
I've got him.
541
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,698
All right, leave it
there so they'll see it.
542
00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:03,722
Right.
543
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:07,558
Herr Kommandant,
it must be a mistake.
544
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:09,760
Colonel Hogan
is a very sick man.
545
00:22:09,795 --> 00:22:11,840
You watch, they'll
come out of that window.
546
00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:13,797
But, Herr Kommandant,
547
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:16,867
their room is on the other side.
548
00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:19,286
Nonsense, that's the one.
549
00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:23,907
What was that?
550
00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:25,609
A garbage can.
551
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:29,024
The things you
have to do these days
552
00:22:29,048 --> 00:22:31,093
to make an unsuccessful escape.
553
00:22:31,117 --> 00:22:32,397
Come on.
554
00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:43,460
Shh!
555
00:22:43,495 --> 00:22:44,444
Shh!
556
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:45,362
Shh!
557
00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:46,981
You didn't have to do it twice!
558
00:22:47,016 --> 00:22:48,093
I didn't do it twice.
559
00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:49,117
You...
560
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,084
Halt!
561
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,103
There they are!
562
00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:53,665
Don't take another step!
563
00:22:53,689 --> 00:22:56,890
Good try, Hogan,
but not good enough.
564
00:22:56,925 --> 00:22:58,754
Uh... we were just
out taking a walk.
565
00:22:58,778 --> 00:23:00,422
Could we go back
to the hospital?
566
00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:01,411
I don't feel well.
567
00:23:01,447 --> 00:23:03,447
No more!
568
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:07,952
Oh, you can fool Schultz,
you can fool the doctors,
569
00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,520
but you can't fool me, Hogan.
570
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,189
Your plan failed, do you hear?
571
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:13,624
It failed.
572
00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:16,894
You are going back to
camp now, this instant.
573
00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:18,562
How do you like that?
574
00:23:18,598 --> 00:23:19,808
You win again.
575
00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:21,977
How does he do it?
How does he do it?
576
00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:24,561
It's uncanny, sir, uncanny.
577
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:38,977
Did you fix the
commandant's car?
578
00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:40,250
LeBEAU: Boy, did I fix it.
579
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:41,251
Good.
580
00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:42,452
Colonel Hogan!
581
00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:43,587
Yes?
582
00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:45,623
Colonel Hogan,
you're not resentful
583
00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:49,159
because I prevented your
escape from the hospital, are you?
584
00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:49,843
No, sir.
585
00:23:49,879 --> 00:23:51,277
You wouldn't try to do anything
586
00:23:51,313 --> 00:23:52,357
to get even, would you?
587
00:23:52,381 --> 00:23:53,046
Never.
588
00:23:53,082 --> 00:23:54,281
But you did know
589
00:23:54,317 --> 00:23:57,150
I was taking a drive
this afternoon...
590
00:23:57,186 --> 00:24:00,187
along the river
road... the steep hills?
591
00:24:00,222 --> 00:24:01,572
Yes, sir.
592
00:24:03,892 --> 00:24:05,571
I've changed my mind.
593
00:24:05,595 --> 00:24:07,160
No. Changed your mind?
594
00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:08,890
You are taking a
drive this afternoon.
595
00:24:08,914 --> 00:24:09,713
Oh, no.
596
00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:12,249
And you will sit where
I would have been.
597
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,345
Oh... I can't.
598
00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:15,097
I'm restricted to
the motor pool.
599
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:17,082
The restriction
has been revoked.
600
00:24:17,106 --> 00:24:18,472
Get in.
601
00:24:20,610 --> 00:24:22,075
Schultz, drive!
602
00:24:22,111 --> 00:24:23,711
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
603
00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:35,459
Twice around the park, Schultz.
604
00:24:41,664 --> 00:24:44,264
I thought you said
you fixed the car.
605
00:24:44,299 --> 00:24:45,699
I did fix it.
606
00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:47,067
It's perfect.
37763
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