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1
00:00:02,505 --> 00:00:04,610
And the final stop
on our little private tour
2
00:00:04,610 --> 00:00:08,618
is an exhibit devoted to
Grimsburg's biggest industry--
3
00:00:08,618 --> 00:00:09,820
murder.
4
00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:11,356
[thunder booming]
5
00:00:11,356 --> 00:00:14,830
Jeff the Ripper,
the Deathguard,
6
00:00:14,963 --> 00:00:17,268
Killex, featuring DJ Khaled.
7
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:19,138
Notice a pattern here?
8
00:00:19,138 --> 00:00:20,474
They're all men.
9
00:00:20,474 --> 00:00:23,379
And yet women make up
half of our population.
10
00:00:23,379 --> 00:00:25,852
Look, if you're trying
to murder my sausage
11
00:00:25,852 --> 00:00:27,588
on this date, it's working.
12
00:00:27,722 --> 00:00:28,624
Ooh!
13
00:00:28,758 --> 00:00:29,626
An empty one!
14
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:30,795
I'm going in.
15
00:00:30,895 --> 00:00:31,864
Look at me!
16
00:00:31,864 --> 00:00:33,033
Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh!
17
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,135
[cackles]
18
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,705
Whose exhibit is this?
19
00:00:35,705 --> 00:00:37,575
It's mine.
20
00:00:39,646 --> 00:00:42,885
How can it be yours
if I'm the one inside the box
21
00:00:42,986 --> 00:00:44,657
that's rapidly filling up
with gas?
22
00:00:44,657 --> 00:00:48,865
Because I'm a killer, and I'm
killing you to make the point
23
00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:50,602
that women-- you know what?
24
00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:51,671
Forget it.
25
00:00:51,671 --> 00:00:53,306
If you think this is
gonna get me to go out
26
00:00:53,306 --> 00:00:57,882
with you again, I just might.
27
00:00:57,882 --> 00:01:00,922
[dramatic music]
28
00:01:00,922 --> 00:01:08,069
♪
29
00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:18,657
[glass shatters]
30
00:01:18,657 --> 00:01:19,593
[birds chirping]
31
00:01:19,593 --> 00:01:21,463
Look, Harm,
I appreciate you letting me
32
00:01:21,463 --> 00:01:23,567
move into the basement
after I abandoned the family
33
00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,437
to pursue my talent
for alcoholism.
34
00:01:25,437 --> 00:01:27,241
But how can I fix
things with you and Stan
35
00:01:27,341 --> 00:01:28,578
if I'm not welcome upstairs?
36
00:01:28,578 --> 00:01:30,815
I would do anything
to change your mind.
37
00:01:32,719 --> 00:01:38,330
And when I say anything,
I mean most things.
38
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,967
Stan, to your room!
39
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,469
[kissing]
40
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:44,275
I gave you two simple rules
when you moved back in.
41
00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:46,312
One, stay in the basement,
42
00:01:46,312 --> 00:01:50,722
and two,
no Vin Diesel movie nights.
43
00:01:50,822 --> 00:01:52,826
OK, fan club's over!
44
00:01:52,826 --> 00:01:54,730
It's not a fan club.
45
00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:56,032
It's a family.
46
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,836
all: Family.
47
00:01:57,836 --> 00:01:59,071
Out.
48
00:01:59,172 --> 00:02:00,407
Look, I need to be
allowed upstairs.
49
00:02:00,508 --> 00:02:02,110
That's where my family is.
- Family.
50
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:03,747
And the good bathroom
with the magazines
51
00:02:03,747 --> 00:02:06,085
I'd never buy myself but whose
advice I've come to rely on.
52
00:02:06,185 --> 00:02:07,522
I'm doing this for Stan.
53
00:02:07,522 --> 00:02:09,526
He doesn't need a father
who runs off every time he
54
00:02:09,526 --> 00:02:12,999
can't crack a case or has a bad
experience at a four-way stop.
55
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,368
But I've changed.
56
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:15,303
Now I just close my eyes
and floor it.
57
00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:17,609
You say you've changed,
but you never change.
58
00:02:17,609 --> 00:02:19,245
So you're not coming
upstairs until you
59
00:02:19,245 --> 00:02:20,480
can change that
and prove you've
60
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,285
actually changed for a change.
61
00:02:22,285 --> 00:02:23,788
Now, I got to go change.
62
00:02:23,888 --> 00:02:25,525
The "Grimsburg's Got Talent
Talent Show" is coming up,
63
00:02:25,658 --> 00:02:28,897
and I'm competing
to be a judge.
64
00:02:31,871 --> 00:02:33,040
Family.
65
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,911
Wow, how do you clog
a bucket?
66
00:02:36,011 --> 00:02:37,582
[bell rings]
67
00:02:38,851 --> 00:02:40,453
Think fast!
68
00:02:41,256 --> 00:02:43,126
OK, not a sports kid.
69
00:02:43,227 --> 00:02:46,967
Finished my art project,
Mr. Flesh.
70
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,402
Ha-ha!
71
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:51,242
Look who made a picture frame
for his divorced parents
72
00:02:51,242 --> 00:02:53,380
to remind them
of the good ol' days.
73
00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:55,250
I thought it might help.
74
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,653
When you gonna get it
75
00:02:56,653 --> 00:02:59,025
through your thick skull,
Stan, huh?
76
00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:01,162
You can't fix them!
77
00:03:01,162 --> 00:03:02,999
Tyge Hilden,
78
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:06,405
your parents are here to give
you a hug, just because.
79
00:03:06,506 --> 00:03:09,145
You got lucky today, Stan.
80
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:13,387
Almost as lucky as I did being
born to parents who make love
81
00:03:13,387 --> 00:03:16,158
seem uncomplicated.
82
00:03:16,158 --> 00:03:17,261
I said almost.
83
00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:19,899
[laughter]
84
00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:23,439
Let's rip out their spines
and slurp 'em like spaghetti,
85
00:03:23,540 --> 00:03:25,176
"Lady and the Tramp"-style!
86
00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:28,417
Or we could prove
them wrong by getting
87
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,987
my parents back together.
88
00:03:29,987 --> 00:03:31,289
Fine.
89
00:03:31,289 --> 00:03:32,358
But now, we've got
to get some chow,
90
00:03:32,458 --> 00:03:33,895
because now I'm craving pasta.
91
00:03:33,995 --> 00:03:35,564
Or dogs.
92
00:03:36,332 --> 00:03:37,702
The victim is Hort Jomes,
93
00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:39,573
won the talent show
two years ago.
94
00:03:39,573 --> 00:03:41,910
He swallowed three swords
and his trophy.
95
00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:44,348
Turns out it was more of
a compulsion than a talent.
96
00:03:44,448 --> 00:03:46,086
I miss swallowing.
97
00:03:46,086 --> 00:03:47,588
This talent show again?
98
00:03:47,588 --> 00:03:49,893
It's like that's all anyone
can talk or murder about.
99
00:03:49,993 --> 00:03:52,498
Time to see what my Crime Mind
is recommending for us...
100
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,437
recommending for us,
recommending for us...
101
00:03:55,437 --> 00:03:57,843
[remote control clicking]
102
00:03:57,943 --> 00:03:58,477
[screen chimes]
103
00:03:58,578 --> 00:04:01,817
[eerie electronic music]
104
00:04:01,917 --> 00:04:02,819
♪ ♪
105
00:04:03,019 --> 00:04:04,823
If we figure out the motive,
we can catch the killer.
106
00:04:04,823 --> 00:04:06,993
Oh! Do these bikes have
any suspension?
107
00:04:07,127 --> 00:04:09,933
The killerth diorama wath
in the thenter of the room
108
00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:11,135
to get our atthenshun.
109
00:04:11,269 --> 00:04:13,473
So the killer feels they're
not being recognized, and--
110
00:04:13,473 --> 00:04:14,408
[in high-pitched voice]
Ah, yep!
111
00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:15,612
That ball is inside me now.
112
00:04:15,712 --> 00:04:17,515
And what better way
to express
113
00:04:17,515 --> 00:04:19,251
your displeasure
with how society
114
00:04:19,251 --> 00:04:21,122
recognizes talent than by--
115
00:04:21,122 --> 00:04:22,257
Killing talent show...
116
00:04:22,257 --> 00:04:23,259
[in normal voice]
Winners.
117
00:04:23,259 --> 00:04:24,930
It dropped.
Thanks.
118
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,600
Ugh, I miss the '80s.
119
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,336
Enjoy Michael Jackson
while you can,
120
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,106
but don't hang out with him.
121
00:04:30,106 --> 00:04:31,543
Well, you could.
122
00:04:31,643 --> 00:04:33,347
[screams]
123
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,450
Wynona, seen any other
talent show winners
124
00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:36,820
in the morgue recently?
125
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:37,655
[sniffing]
126
00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:39,058
Actually,
the winners from three,
127
00:04:39,158 --> 00:04:42,566
four, five, six, and seven
years ago also died this week.
128
00:04:42,666 --> 00:04:44,435
Maybe I should have
mentioned that earlier.
129
00:04:44,536 --> 00:04:45,772
OK, here's the plan.
130
00:04:45,772 --> 00:04:47,542
He's coming for last
year's winner next,
131
00:04:47,542 --> 00:04:49,211
and when that no-talent
psychopath shows up,
132
00:04:49,211 --> 00:04:50,314
we'll be there.
133
00:04:50,414 --> 00:04:52,017
Case closed.
134
00:04:52,118 --> 00:04:53,520
Nice work, Wynona.
135
00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:54,388
What?
136
00:04:54,388 --> 00:04:55,824
No, it's-- ugh.
137
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:58,396
Heard you moved back home.
138
00:04:58,396 --> 00:04:59,633
How's it going with Harm?
139
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,135
Until I can prove
I've changed,
140
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,237
I'm trapped in the basement.
141
00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:03,139
But how's she gonna know I
changed if she never sees me?
142
00:05:03,239 --> 00:05:05,043
I'm trapped
in a basement all day.
143
00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:08,316
But I'm surrounded by corpses,
so it's not as bad.
144
00:05:08,316 --> 00:05:09,819
Well, then
you need to see Harmony
145
00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:11,990
outside the house to prove
to her you've changed.
146
00:05:11,990 --> 00:05:12,825
Good idea, Kang.
147
00:05:12,925 --> 00:05:14,662
You're like a walking
toilet magazine.
148
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:18,938
[laughs] Oh, you always
give the best advice.
149
00:05:19,038 --> 00:05:21,309
Well,
I give good advice too.
150
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,714
Flute,
your pants are too tight.
151
00:05:23,814 --> 00:05:26,753
I won't apologize
for having drip.
152
00:05:28,456 --> 00:05:29,960
[horn fanfare]
153
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,333
Welcome to the annual
"Grimsburg's Got Talent"
154
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,604
Talent Competition
Judging Competition,
155
00:05:35,604 --> 00:05:38,209
a contest to pick the judges
to judge the contest.
156
00:05:38,309 --> 00:05:39,946
I know. It is confusing.
157
00:05:39,946 --> 00:05:41,850
But the rules
are the rules, my friends,
158
00:05:41,983 --> 00:05:43,587
and they were written
by a nine-year-old
159
00:05:43,687 --> 00:05:45,424
who won another contest
to write those rules.
160
00:05:45,424 --> 00:05:47,428
That's Grimsburg, baby!
161
00:05:47,428 --> 00:05:48,898
What are you doing here?
162
00:05:48,998 --> 00:05:50,568
I figured maybe this dumb,
stupid talent show isn't
163
00:05:50,668 --> 00:05:52,437
so stupid, dumb after all.
164
00:05:52,538 --> 00:05:54,208
I guess you could say
I've chan--
165
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:55,410
[cannon booms]
166
00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:59,084
[dramatic percussive music]
167
00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:00,588
This event makes sense.
168
00:06:00,588 --> 00:06:02,324
A judge needs to be physically
fit so we're racing.
169
00:06:02,324 --> 00:06:03,661
- [growls]
- And you are running,
170
00:06:03,761 --> 00:06:06,199
but like a bear, because you
were raised by bears!
171
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,367
[growls]
172
00:06:07,502 --> 00:06:08,771
Oh, I get it!
173
00:06:08,771 --> 00:06:10,741
A good judge must make
lightning-quick decisions
174
00:06:10,741 --> 00:06:12,845
while balancing between
being a Simon Cowell
175
00:06:12,945 --> 00:06:16,720
and whatever pop diva is trying
to land a Vegas residency.
176
00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:18,323
Pogo-sticking--
177
00:06:18,323 --> 00:06:20,060
[growls]
178
00:06:20,194 --> 00:06:21,195
[loud explosions]
179
00:06:21,195 --> 00:06:22,798
through the old minefield?
180
00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:26,640
All right, well,
this is just a Squid Game.
181
00:06:26,740 --> 00:06:28,610
And it looks like
we have our three judges.
182
00:06:28,710 --> 00:06:32,150
As always, Harmony Flute,
town dry-cleaner Skid Marcus,
183
00:06:32,251 --> 00:06:34,488
and Marvin Flute!
184
00:06:34,488 --> 00:06:35,891
OK, back to "Fortnite."
185
00:06:35,891 --> 00:06:39,331
Oh, it's gonna be so fun
judging together.
186
00:06:39,331 --> 00:06:40,634
Fun?
187
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,639
Everywhere you go,
crime follows.
188
00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:44,909
Uh, you say that
like it's not super cool.
189
00:06:44,909 --> 00:06:48,082
You turned our son's birth
into a sting operation.
190
00:06:48,182 --> 00:06:49,553
How do you think I feel?
191
00:06:49,653 --> 00:06:51,657
You turned my sting operation
into Stan's birth.
192
00:06:51,757 --> 00:06:53,393
Besides, that was the old me.
193
00:06:53,393 --> 00:06:54,395
I can turn it off.
194
00:06:54,495 --> 00:06:56,031
[snaps]
There. It's off.
195
00:06:56,031 --> 00:06:59,271
Mm-hmm, then what are
you doing right now?
196
00:06:59,271 --> 00:07:00,406
Uh, not crime stuff.
197
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,111
Have a nice day, Squiggles.
198
00:07:02,244 --> 00:07:03,547
You'll see I've changed.
199
00:07:03,547 --> 00:07:04,481
I'm not gonna let
work interfere at all
200
00:07:04,582 --> 00:07:05,952
with the two of us judging.
[crowd screaming]
201
00:07:06,052 --> 00:07:09,191
Hey! That clown is killing
everyone he sees!
202
00:07:09,292 --> 00:07:10,661
[crowd screaming]
203
00:07:10,661 --> 00:07:12,665
People are literally
screaming with excitement
204
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,702
about us judging together.
205
00:07:18,109 --> 00:07:21,015
[jazzy music]
206
00:07:21,115 --> 00:07:23,688
♪ ♪
207
00:07:23,688 --> 00:07:25,390
Commencing Operation
Undercover Talent
208
00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:26,894
Show Winner Stakeout, over.
209
00:07:26,894 --> 00:07:29,364
Handsome Falcon
is on the beach, over.
210
00:07:29,364 --> 00:07:30,835
We did not agree
to code names.
211
00:07:30,935 --> 00:07:32,805
You're breaking up there,
Wet Blanket.
212
00:07:32,805 --> 00:07:34,442
How's our insurance
agent doing?
213
00:07:34,543 --> 00:07:35,778
Any sign of the killer, Jake?
214
00:07:35,878 --> 00:07:37,147
Hard to say.
215
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,918
I've been busy trying to bundle
someone's home and auto plans.
216
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:40,688
Hey, Flute, aren't you
supposed to be getting
217
00:07:40,688 --> 00:07:42,190
ready for the talent show?
- It's fine.
218
00:07:42,324 --> 00:07:43,961
I'll catch the killer,
wrap this up,
219
00:07:43,961 --> 00:07:45,463
be over there in plenty of time
to give a young performer
220
00:07:45,463 --> 00:07:46,700
a reality check.
221
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,537
Made out to "you suck"
in the amount
222
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:49,806
of "never gonna make it"
dollars
223
00:07:49,806 --> 00:07:52,311
and 42 cents
from the Bank of Failure.
224
00:07:52,311 --> 00:07:53,914
Memo line, "give up."
225
00:07:54,048 --> 00:07:55,651
Routing number--
- Flute!
226
00:07:55,651 --> 00:07:57,956
Got something for you.
227
00:07:57,956 --> 00:08:00,293
Back when my dead wife
was my alive wife,
228
00:08:00,293 --> 00:08:01,563
she hated the job too.
229
00:08:01,563 --> 00:08:03,099
So I started taking DetectOff.
230
00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:06,239
One pill shuts off detective
brain for up to 12 hours.
231
00:08:06,239 --> 00:08:09,613
Flute, are you happy with
your life insurance policy?
232
00:08:09,713 --> 00:08:12,317
Because someone's
behind you with a knife!
233
00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,088
[dramatic music]
234
00:08:14,188 --> 00:08:15,190
Freeze!
235
00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:16,225
Ah, damn.
236
00:08:16,325 --> 00:08:18,496
♪ ♪
237
00:08:18,597 --> 00:08:20,367
You're under arrest.
238
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,636
Ma'am?
239
00:08:21,636 --> 00:08:24,342
My apologies,
we clearly made a mistake here.
240
00:08:24,342 --> 00:08:25,578
On your way, milady.
241
00:08:25,578 --> 00:08:26,947
- Thanks, m'turd.
- What?
242
00:08:27,047 --> 00:08:28,517
No!
She had a knife!
243
00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:30,353
K, you see where
that knife went?
244
00:08:30,921 --> 00:08:35,096
Aw, man, I just bought
this parka six years ago.
245
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,570
Now to try some of that
sensitivity training
246
00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:40,039
I slept through.
247
00:08:40,039 --> 00:08:41,877
You rarely hear about women
in the serial killer game.
248
00:08:41,877 --> 00:08:43,781
I mean, uh,
not that you can't kill,
249
00:08:43,881 --> 00:08:45,918
because you can-- and did,
very well, I might add.
250
00:08:46,018 --> 00:08:47,756
Everyone you killed
is quite dead, so good on you.
251
00:08:47,756 --> 00:08:49,492
Equality. Suffrage.
252
00:08:49,626 --> 00:08:50,928
You know, your body.
Rachel Maddow.
253
00:08:50,928 --> 00:08:53,266
I'm an ally.
- Gee. Thanks.
254
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,339
While there have been plenty
of female serial killers,
255
00:08:56,339 --> 00:08:58,511
there wasn't one
in that exhibit.
256
00:08:58,611 --> 00:09:00,013
Well, I'm out to change that.
257
00:09:00,013 --> 00:09:01,517
Hey, I'm all for
shattering traditional
258
00:09:01,517 --> 00:09:02,852
female stereotypes.
259
00:09:02,852 --> 00:09:04,488
For starters,
can we turn the AC off?
260
00:09:04,488 --> 00:09:05,791
Because I'm freezing.
261
00:09:05,891 --> 00:09:07,662
[phone chimes]
Oh, hey, Harm.
262
00:09:07,762 --> 00:09:08,764
Of course you're late.
263
00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:10,400
I knew you'd never change.
264
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,637
No, I am not late.
265
00:09:11,637 --> 00:09:13,808
I'm gonna be there in--
266
00:09:13,941 --> 00:09:16,546
I made it in four minutes,
barely broke any laws to do it.
267
00:09:16,646 --> 00:09:17,615
Marvin?
268
00:09:17,615 --> 00:09:19,753
Who's that?
269
00:09:19,753 --> 00:09:21,823
Oh, this is Anna,
friend from not work.
270
00:09:21,823 --> 00:09:23,393
The restraints are for
her own protection.
271
00:09:23,393 --> 00:09:24,563
She's super clumsy.
272
00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:26,833
Augh, this is bad.
273
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,806
We can't find our third judge,
Skid Marcus.
274
00:09:29,806 --> 00:09:31,676
Maybe your friend here
could fill in?
275
00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:33,847
No, I don't think she should.
276
00:09:33,847 --> 00:09:34,816
Why?
277
00:09:34,816 --> 00:09:37,722
Too many women
in power for you, Flute?
278
00:09:37,822 --> 00:09:39,792
What? Me?
No, I love women in power.
279
00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:42,264
I voted for Hilary... Swank...
in my Oscar pool.
280
00:09:42,397 --> 00:09:43,266
Let's have Anna judge.
281
00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:44,569
Wonderful.
282
00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:46,439
If someone could
help me out of this?
283
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,911
Oh, look, I did it myself.
284
00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:51,884
[eerie music]
285
00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:52,718
♪ ♪
286
00:09:52,818 --> 00:09:53,987
[upbeat dance music]
287
00:09:53,987 --> 00:09:56,159
And now,
your Mastermind of Ceremonies,
288
00:09:56,259 --> 00:09:59,131
Grimsburg Middle's
top teacher by way of Grimsburg
289
00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:02,404
Prison's most ill-conceived
work-release program,
290
00:10:02,404 --> 00:10:05,009
Dr. Rufis Pentos.
291
00:10:05,009 --> 00:10:05,978
What a night.
292
00:10:05,978 --> 00:10:08,183
I can feel the buzz in the air.
293
00:10:08,183 --> 00:10:08,851
Wait!
294
00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:11,155
That's my ankle bracelet.
295
00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:12,057
[laughter]
296
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:15,598
Let's meet our
unacceptably all white judges.
297
00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:17,868
Hashtag, do better.
298
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,508
I'm Harmony Flute,
and I know talent can come from
299
00:10:20,608 --> 00:10:22,612
anywhere--
even the humble cave,
300
00:10:22,612 --> 00:10:24,716
where I grew up
with a rock as my pillow
301
00:10:24,716 --> 00:10:26,152
and bears as my parents.
302
00:10:26,152 --> 00:10:28,590
Thank you for your sympathy
and your upcoming
303
00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:30,360
applause for my bravery.
[applause]
304
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,763
Oh!
[laughs]
305
00:10:31,863 --> 00:10:34,502
I'm Anna,
and I hope the winner has
306
00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:37,909
a talent that's... to die for.
307
00:10:38,009 --> 00:10:40,313
Also, I'm a sucker
for tap dancing.
308
00:10:43,854 --> 00:10:45,390
What? Oh. Uh, hi!
309
00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:48,597
I'm Detective Marvin Flute,
and I'll be collecting evidence
310
00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:50,233
of who is the most talented.
311
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,339
But not the usual evidence like
carpet fibers, blood samples,
312
00:10:53,439 --> 00:10:55,645
gunpowder residue, or--
oh, semen.
313
00:10:55,745 --> 00:10:57,013
So much!
314
00:10:57,113 --> 00:10:58,884
Honestly, the first time
you walk into a crime scene
315
00:10:58,884 --> 00:11:01,690
covered in it, you think,
"Well, that happened."
316
00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:02,992
And then, by the 20th time,
you're like,
317
00:11:02,992 --> 00:11:04,796
"What is wrong with people?"
318
00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,399
And then by the 50th time,
you're like,
319
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,070
"What is wrong with me?"
320
00:11:10,406 --> 00:11:13,179
Let's get things started
with our first act,
321
00:11:13,179 --> 00:11:16,152
Eddie the telepathic donkey,
who will convince one of you
322
00:11:16,152 --> 00:11:19,992
in the audience
to steal the Popemobile.
323
00:11:20,126 --> 00:11:22,030
[donkey brays]
324
00:11:22,030 --> 00:11:25,605
I thought you said you could
turn off the detective stuff.
325
00:11:25,605 --> 00:11:26,639
God, I should have known.
326
00:11:26,639 --> 00:11:28,042
You're just like James Corden.
327
00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:30,346
You ruin everything you touch.
328
00:11:30,346 --> 00:11:33,052
[donkey braying]
329
00:11:37,828 --> 00:11:40,266
Yes, Eddie.
330
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,370
I obey.
331
00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:45,778
What are we waiting
in this line for?
332
00:11:45,778 --> 00:11:48,784
I'm going to sing a song.
333
00:11:48,784 --> 00:11:50,420
[laughs]
You?
334
00:11:50,521 --> 00:11:51,690
Singing a song?
335
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:54,795
Not "a song."
My parents' favorite song.
336
00:11:54,795 --> 00:11:56,700
When it came on,
no matter how mad they were,
337
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,102
everything changed.
338
00:11:58,102 --> 00:11:59,806
They'd send me to my room,
and then I'd hear them
339
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,109
move furniture around.
340
00:12:01,109 --> 00:12:02,645
Dad would get tired,
but Mom would say,
341
00:12:02,645 --> 00:12:04,014
"Don't stop. Don't stop."
342
00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:05,216
And then once they
rearrange it,
343
00:12:05,216 --> 00:12:06,986
she'd ask if that's
how he liked it.
344
00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:08,991
And he'd say,
"I love that, mistress."
345
00:12:08,991 --> 00:12:10,994
Obviously, he meant "mattress."
And then--
346
00:12:10,994 --> 00:12:12,898
Stangello, you can't do this.
347
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,838
The Stable Boys
will tear you apart.
348
00:12:15,838 --> 00:12:19,579
Not if I tear my parents
back together first.
349
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,585
[upbeat music]
350
00:12:22,685 --> 00:12:24,188
♪ ♪
351
00:12:24,288 --> 00:12:25,858
[applause]
352
00:12:25,958 --> 00:12:28,964
I'm not a big fan of coyotes,
but I'm giving you
353
00:12:28,964 --> 00:12:31,503
a "hibern-eight" out of "den!"
354
00:12:31,603 --> 00:12:33,139
[laughs] Raised by bears.
355
00:12:33,139 --> 00:12:35,711
Dancing is the lowest
discipline of the arts.
356
00:12:35,811 --> 00:12:36,947
It's basically
a weird way of walking,
357
00:12:36,947 --> 00:12:40,086
except you don't go anywhere,
and your arms get tired.
358
00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:41,155
But guess what.
359
00:12:41,255 --> 00:12:43,259
I love your song choice,
I love your costumes,
360
00:12:43,259 --> 00:12:45,496
and I love that your love
is illegal in most states.
361
00:12:45,496 --> 00:12:46,900
It's a nine.
362
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,069
[cheers and applause]
363
00:12:48,169 --> 00:12:51,075
[upbeat music]
364
00:12:51,175 --> 00:12:53,446
♪ ♪
365
00:12:53,446 --> 00:12:55,584
[laughter]
366
00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:59,324
♪
367
00:12:59,424 --> 00:13:00,459
[laughing]
368
00:13:00,459 --> 00:13:01,596
[both screaming]
369
00:13:01,596 --> 00:13:04,134
[cheers and applause]
370
00:13:04,134 --> 00:13:06,639
That performance was hot,
hot, hot!
371
00:13:06,739 --> 00:13:08,644
[cheers and applause]
372
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:11,215
[upbeat music]
373
00:13:11,315 --> 00:13:13,352
One day,
that'll be my family.
374
00:13:13,452 --> 00:13:16,726
Yeah, sure,
we get some zip ties and gags,
375
00:13:16,726 --> 00:13:18,396
and they're all yours!
376
00:13:18,396 --> 00:13:20,568
♪
377
00:13:20,568 --> 00:13:23,506
[grunting]
378
00:13:23,506 --> 00:13:26,779
♪ ♪
379
00:13:26,913 --> 00:13:30,353
I give it a "roller sk-nine!"
380
00:13:32,056 --> 00:13:34,629
And our final performance
tonight is...
381
00:13:34,629 --> 00:13:36,499
Stan Flute?
382
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,637
[audience gasps]
383
00:13:38,637 --> 00:13:41,509
I think we found our loser.
384
00:13:41,643 --> 00:13:43,379
Is this on?
It is.
385
00:13:43,479 --> 00:13:44,314
Good.
386
00:13:44,314 --> 00:13:46,452
I didn't want
to have to repeat that.
387
00:13:46,452 --> 00:13:48,355
You sure you don't
want to wear a mask?
388
00:13:48,355 --> 00:13:51,061
It might go better if they
think you're Rudy Giuliani.
389
00:13:51,061 --> 00:13:54,034
[microphone feedback]
390
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:57,473
♪ There's always
that one person that ♪
391
00:13:57,473 --> 00:14:00,346
Oh, God, he's gonna
live with me until he's 30.
392
00:14:00,346 --> 00:14:02,183
This is why I kept
saying we should
393
00:14:02,183 --> 00:14:04,789
have those spinny chairs from
"The Voice" and an open bar.
394
00:14:04,789 --> 00:14:06,959
♪ I did from the start ♪
395
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:10,099
♪ Know that you're
that one for me ♪
396
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:14,976
♪ It's clear for
everyone to see, baby ♪
397
00:14:14,976 --> 00:14:17,849
[audience booing]
398
00:14:17,849 --> 00:14:23,059
♪ You will always be my boo ♪
399
00:14:23,059 --> 00:14:25,564
[audience cheering]
400
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,402
♪ Now I don't know about
y'all, but I know about us ♪
401
00:14:28,402 --> 00:14:31,475
♪ And it's the only way
we know how to ride ♪
402
00:14:31,576 --> 00:14:33,278
♪ My boo ♪
403
00:14:33,378 --> 00:14:37,420
♪ I know we haven't
seen each other in a while ♪
404
00:14:37,521 --> 00:14:44,603
both: ♪ But you will always be
my boo ♪
405
00:14:44,603 --> 00:14:47,842
[cheers and applause]
406
00:14:47,976 --> 00:14:51,481
This year's
talent show winner is...
407
00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:52,585
[dramatic music]
408
00:14:52,585 --> 00:14:56,124
Stan Flute!
409
00:14:58,295 --> 00:15:01,603
I got to say, you didn't ruin
this with your detective stuff
410
00:15:01,603 --> 00:15:02,771
like you normally do.
411
00:15:02,871 --> 00:15:03,907
Maybe you have changed.
412
00:15:03,907 --> 00:15:05,777
Looks like it might be time
for someone to get
413
00:15:05,877 --> 00:15:07,414
upstairs pooping privileges.
414
00:15:07,414 --> 00:15:09,986
Have either of you two
no-longer-in-love-birds
415
00:15:09,986 --> 00:15:13,860
seen Anna or Stan?
416
00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:15,130
And look at this.
417
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:17,868
[mysterious music]
418
00:15:17,868 --> 00:15:20,674
Oh, I think
we might have a problem.
419
00:15:20,674 --> 00:15:21,876
I want a divorce!
420
00:15:21,976 --> 00:15:23,179
Wait!
421
00:15:23,179 --> 00:15:25,551
We can still be
a stable family!
422
00:15:25,651 --> 00:15:26,553
Save it, hack!
423
00:15:26,653 --> 00:15:27,889
You had a chance to keep
this family together,
424
00:15:27,889 --> 00:15:29,725
and it was on stage!
425
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,236
- Uh, uh...
- [sighs]
426
00:15:35,236 --> 00:15:38,042
So you brought a killer whose
MO is she kills talent show
427
00:15:38,142 --> 00:15:40,648
winners to the talent show,
which our son won,
428
00:15:40,781 --> 00:15:41,950
and now she's kidnapped him.
429
00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:43,419
Congrats.
430
00:15:43,419 --> 00:15:45,189
You're the grand marshall
of the Dumb-Dumb parade.
431
00:15:45,289 --> 00:15:47,026
Ooh, thanks.
Do I get a sash?
432
00:15:47,026 --> 00:15:49,465
Just do
your Crime Mind thing
433
00:15:49,566 --> 00:15:51,936
so we can wrap up
this little Flute-scapade.
434
00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:55,042
Uh, right.
I'm on it.
435
00:15:55,042 --> 00:15:57,915
[machine beeping, trilling]
436
00:15:58,482 --> 00:16:02,057
Uh, the Crime Mind
is kind of offline.
437
00:16:02,057 --> 00:16:04,261
Oh, of course it is.
438
00:16:04,394 --> 00:16:05,564
Wait, look!
439
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,803
The ground is sinking
in similarly sized
440
00:16:08,903 --> 00:16:10,206
and spaced intervals.
441
00:16:10,206 --> 00:16:11,977
Neat!
I'm gonna pee in them.
442
00:16:12,077 --> 00:16:12,879
Those are footprints,
you idiot.
443
00:16:12,979 --> 00:16:14,314
What's wrong with you?
- Right, right.
444
00:16:14,414 --> 00:16:16,084
They must be Anna and Stan's.
445
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,222
OK, so here's what we're
gonna do-- pee in them.
446
00:16:18,222 --> 00:16:19,291
You pee in the big ones,
I'll go to the small.
447
00:16:19,291 --> 00:16:21,094
No, we should follow them.
448
00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:22,330
Yes! Right.
449
00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:24,969
Follow-- what, exactly?
- The footprints!
450
00:16:24,969 --> 00:16:26,806
Right.
And we just pee wherever.
451
00:16:26,806 --> 00:16:28,075
[sighs]
452
00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:31,281
[eerie music]
453
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:32,383
♪
454
00:16:32,383 --> 00:16:34,522
Just wait here,
Mr. Talent Show winner.
455
00:16:34,622 --> 00:16:39,598
I need to pick up some knives
for the, uh, awards ceremony.
456
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,003
Come to apologize?
457
00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:43,540
Apologize?
458
00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:46,244
No, I came to tell you
that lady's got more screws
459
00:16:46,244 --> 00:16:47,948
loose than that steering column
460
00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:49,819
I loosened
all the screws on to get you
461
00:16:49,819 --> 00:16:50,954
out of that field trip.
462
00:16:50,954 --> 00:16:52,491
Now, let's get out of here.
463
00:16:52,491 --> 00:16:54,494
You just can't stand
when I succeed.
464
00:16:54,595 --> 00:16:56,164
My parents are almost
back together.
465
00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:58,002
My plan is working,
and nobody had
466
00:16:58,002 --> 00:16:59,237
to get hurt
or lose their class B
467
00:16:59,237 --> 00:17:01,142
commercial bus driver's
license.
468
00:17:01,142 --> 00:17:02,744
Who were you talking to?
469
00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:08,121
Just a big old bag of nobody.
470
00:17:08,121 --> 00:17:11,863
[eerie music]
471
00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:15,269
[bird caws]
472
00:17:15,269 --> 00:17:17,440
The footprints stop here.
473
00:17:17,575 --> 00:17:19,945
[sniffs]
474
00:17:19,945 --> 00:17:21,749
[growls]
475
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:29,665
♪
476
00:17:31,368 --> 00:17:32,972
Hmm.
477
00:17:32,972 --> 00:17:35,009
Flute!
Skid Marcus is in here!
478
00:17:35,009 --> 00:17:37,380
Finally!
I've been here for days.
479
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,051
I know exactly where Anna is.
480
00:17:39,051 --> 00:17:41,556
Clam it, dirtbag!
481
00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:44,027
What the hell?
Why would you do that?
482
00:17:44,027 --> 00:17:46,431
I don't know.
483
00:17:46,431 --> 00:17:47,702
I thought I could change,
but I couldn't.
484
00:17:47,702 --> 00:17:50,139
So I took some DetectOff
to make you think I did.
485
00:17:50,239 --> 00:17:52,477
I needed drugs,
because you're right about me.
486
00:17:52,578 --> 00:17:54,815
I'm a one-trick pony,
just like that donkey
487
00:17:54,915 --> 00:17:55,917
that did that one trick.
488
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,757
Wait, what's the difference
between a pony and a donkey?
489
00:17:58,757 --> 00:17:59,458
Is one gay?
490
00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:01,194
So you took the drugs for me?
491
00:18:01,328 --> 00:18:04,334
That's so-- sweet.
492
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:07,040
The old you
only took drugs for you,
493
00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:10,346
which means
maybe you've changed.
494
00:18:10,346 --> 00:18:12,551
Yes! I told you!
In your face! Sorry!
495
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:13,954
The competitive part
of me still needs
496
00:18:14,087 --> 00:18:14,956
a little bit of work.
497
00:18:15,089 --> 00:18:16,091
You loser!
498
00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:17,794
[chuckles]
Sorry, again.
499
00:18:17,894 --> 00:18:19,197
[gasps]
500
00:18:19,197 --> 00:18:20,232
I know where she went.
501
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:21,669
I solved it, even on DetectOff!
502
00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:22,470
Ah!
503
00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:23,773
Your mom could go suck a butt!
504
00:18:23,773 --> 00:18:25,644
I'm so sorry.
505
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:29,952
[suspenseful music]
506
00:18:30,052 --> 00:18:31,421
While I'm sorry
you have to die,
507
00:18:31,421 --> 00:18:34,494
if I can inspire just one girl
to believe she can kill
508
00:18:34,494 --> 00:18:36,833
as good as a man,
your horrifying death
509
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:38,703
will be worth it.
510
00:18:40,372 --> 00:18:42,377
Did you come here to gloat?
511
00:18:42,377 --> 00:18:44,982
I have a better idea.
512
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,519
If we're gonna go down,
513
00:18:46,519 --> 00:18:48,222
we're gonna go down together,
514
00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:49,559
like Bonnie and Clyde,
515
00:18:49,559 --> 00:18:51,829
or Thelma and Louise,
or Thelma and Louise
516
00:18:51,929 --> 00:18:53,933
in that deleted scene.
517
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,002
Mr. Flesh?
518
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,505
Yes, Stan and Deliver?
519
00:18:56,605 --> 00:18:58,242
I should have
listened to you.
520
00:18:58,342 --> 00:19:00,647
I know all my therapists
say you're pretend,
521
00:19:00,781 --> 00:19:04,822
but you're the only real friend
I've ever had.
522
00:19:08,996 --> 00:19:10,867
Are you crying?
523
00:19:10,867 --> 00:19:12,003
Oh, what?
524
00:19:12,003 --> 00:19:13,272
No.
525
00:19:13,372 --> 00:19:15,811
[chuckles]
Come on, crying is for babies
526
00:19:15,811 --> 00:19:19,150
and YouTube videos of soldiers
coming home to their dogs.
527
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,856
[sobbing]
Their sweet, sweet dogs.
528
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:24,695
Ladies and gentlemen,
for too long
529
00:19:24,695 --> 00:19:26,833
Grimsburg has
refused to recognize
530
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,404
the strides women have
made in the art of death--
531
00:19:29,505 --> 00:19:33,412
sociopaths like Cyanide Cindy,
the Lawnmower Ma'am,
532
00:19:33,412 --> 00:19:35,750
Jeffrey Dahm-her,
Princess Die--
533
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:38,890
that's D-I-E-- they all
had to endure having
534
00:19:38,990 --> 00:19:41,027
their grisly work overlooked.
535
00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:43,031
Tonight that ends.
536
00:19:43,031 --> 00:19:45,303
[bell dings]
537
00:19:45,303 --> 00:19:48,042
[dramatic music]
538
00:19:48,042 --> 00:19:49,143
Family!
539
00:19:49,143 --> 00:19:50,413
I mean, freeze!
540
00:19:50,514 --> 00:19:53,085
You may have found me,
but you can't stop me
541
00:19:53,085 --> 00:19:54,053
from killing the winner.
542
00:19:54,153 --> 00:19:55,557
Maybe not.
543
00:19:55,557 --> 00:19:57,394
But you should know,
Stan's not the winner.
544
00:19:57,394 --> 00:19:58,797
- What?
- [gasps]
545
00:19:58,797 --> 00:19:59,598
[all gasp]
546
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,301
The talent show
rule book clearly states
547
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,139
that contestants may not
be related to any judge
548
00:20:03,239 --> 00:20:04,474
due to a conflict of interest.
549
00:20:04,575 --> 00:20:07,313
Therefore, our son,
Stan, is disqualified.
550
00:20:07,313 --> 00:20:09,050
But there is a winner.
551
00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:10,588
You.
552
00:20:10,588 --> 00:20:12,323
After everything you did
to get here,
553
00:20:12,323 --> 00:20:14,995
you are truly
Grimsburg's most talented.
554
00:20:14,995 --> 00:20:16,031
We see you.
555
00:20:16,164 --> 00:20:17,199
I did it!
556
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,305
I'm the talent show winner!
557
00:20:20,305 --> 00:20:24,047
But I kill talent show winners.
558
00:20:24,047 --> 00:20:26,184
All of them.
559
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:27,755
[knife clangs]
560
00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:32,096
But we appreciate the
strides you've made for women.
561
00:20:32,196 --> 00:20:33,232
Thank God!
562
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:34,802
I don't want to die any--
563
00:20:34,802 --> 00:20:36,806
[screams]
564
00:20:39,277 --> 00:20:40,814
- Family.
- Seriously?
565
00:20:40,814 --> 00:20:41,516
Gas money?
566
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:42,952
You only drove us three blocks.
567
00:20:42,952 --> 00:20:43,953
[engine turning over]
568
00:20:43,953 --> 00:20:45,590
[engine revving]
569
00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:48,730
Whoa, that flying car
just landed on a plane,
570
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:52,369
and it landed on a cloud,
and the cloud is a rocket!
571
00:20:52,369 --> 00:20:53,606
You know what?
572
00:20:53,606 --> 00:20:55,710
That's still more realistic
than "Furious 7."
573
00:20:58,348 --> 00:20:59,619
Hell of a voice, child boy.
574
00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:01,355
You know,
I used to sing myself
575
00:21:01,355 --> 00:21:03,124
before I realized it was
illegal for detectives
576
00:21:03,124 --> 00:21:04,127
to be artistic.
577
00:21:04,127 --> 00:21:05,396
Wow.
578
00:21:05,396 --> 00:21:07,400
Should we all have
some ice cream at home?
579
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,937
That would be great.
580
00:21:09,037 --> 00:21:11,976
Maybe you could leave a bowl at
the top of the stairs for me.
581
00:21:14,782 --> 00:21:17,286
From now on,
you can come upstairs.
582
00:21:18,188 --> 00:21:19,457
[glasses clanking]
583
00:21:19,457 --> 00:21:22,531
What do you mean there's
a split plate charge?
584
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,233
Uh, we should go.
585
00:21:24,233 --> 00:21:26,004
[donkey braying]
586
00:21:26,004 --> 00:21:26,973
Hey, wait!
587
00:21:26,973 --> 00:21:29,377
[screaming]
588
00:21:29,377 --> 00:21:32,449
Seeing it now,
he definitely should have won.
589
00:21:36,158 --> 00:21:37,861
Bento.
41223
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