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1
00:00:02,071 --> 00:00:06,012
[dramatic music]
2
00:00:06,012 --> 00:00:08,450
Why do we always
paint the cabins red?
3
00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:11,055
Because if they were blue,
they'd match Tad's bag
4
00:00:11,055 --> 00:00:13,928
after he didn't get any
from Cyndy last night.
5
00:00:13,928 --> 00:00:17,067
[laughter]
6
00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:19,305
Let's be counselors
every summer for the rest
7
00:00:19,305 --> 00:00:21,710
of our definitely long lives.
8
00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:25,718
[screams]
9
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:27,789
[screams]
Please, no!
10
00:00:27,789 --> 00:00:31,396
I told all my friends I wasn't
gonna get murdered this summer!
11
00:00:31,396 --> 00:00:32,999
[screams]
12
00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:34,536
Sounds like you're all
getting hacked to pieces
13
00:00:34,669 --> 00:00:36,439
with a machete out here.
14
00:00:36,574 --> 00:00:38,410
♪ ♪
15
00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:39,846
Oh.
16
00:00:39,947 --> 00:00:42,452
This is why we paint
the cabins red.
17
00:00:42,553 --> 00:00:43,621
[groans]
18
00:00:43,722 --> 00:00:46,594
[exciting music]
19
00:00:46,694 --> 00:00:53,741
♪ ♪
20
00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:08,236
Hello, and welcome
to my Stan Speak.
21
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,539
[sighs]
Another one?
22
00:01:09,539 --> 00:01:12,044
He uses up all my good
boba straws as head mics.
23
00:01:12,044 --> 00:01:13,446
I needs my bubble tea.
24
00:01:13,548 --> 00:01:15,685
School's out,
which means as parents,
25
00:01:15,685 --> 00:01:18,524
you're forced to figure out
something to do with me.
26
00:01:18,524 --> 00:01:20,762
But what if there
was another way?
27
00:01:20,862 --> 00:01:21,664
There is!
28
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:24,803
And it's called
My Summer of Screens.
29
00:01:24,803 --> 00:01:29,178
My entire vacation spent
playing indie games on Steam
30
00:01:29,178 --> 00:01:30,781
while watching Mr. Beast clips,
31
00:01:30,781 --> 00:01:33,453
a TikToker who lives
in a trampoline mansion,
32
00:01:33,453 --> 00:01:35,424
and Stanley Tucci wearing linen
33
00:01:35,424 --> 00:01:37,194
while eating his way
through Italy.
34
00:01:37,294 --> 00:01:39,699
What about Camp Grimsburg?
You're old enough now.
35
00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:42,037
They shut that camp down
after the slasher outbreak.
36
00:01:42,037 --> 00:01:42,939
What?
37
00:01:43,039 --> 00:01:45,377
And besides, there's
too much nature at camp.
38
00:01:45,377 --> 00:01:48,182
What?
Um, a word?
39
00:01:48,182 --> 00:01:50,053
Don't move.
40
00:01:50,053 --> 00:01:51,255
Yeah.
41
00:01:51,255 --> 00:01:52,892
That's the plan for the summer.
42
00:01:52,892 --> 00:01:54,429
- I can't believe it.
- I know.
43
00:01:54,429 --> 00:01:55,931
Camp Grimsburg
made me who I am.
44
00:01:56,031 --> 00:01:57,468
It was the single
most important
45
00:01:57,569 --> 00:01:58,837
character-building experience
of my life
46
00:01:58,837 --> 00:02:00,875
besides learning how
to beatbox without fainting.
47
00:02:00,975 --> 00:02:04,482
No, I mean Stan wanting
to stay inside all summer.
48
00:02:04,482 --> 00:02:07,054
I mean, you don't hibernate
this time of year.
49
00:02:07,154 --> 00:02:08,356
It's unnatural.
50
00:02:08,356 --> 00:02:10,360
The idea
that my half-bear kid--
51
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:12,264
Harm, come on.
He's bear-ish.
52
00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:13,601
You know, culturally.
53
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,437
Well, I'm going
to do something about it.
54
00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:17,542
Me too.
But for my thing.
55
00:02:17,542 --> 00:02:18,978
I don't care
about yours as much.
56
00:02:18,978 --> 00:02:21,082
Now to provide a soundtrack
to my determined walk off--
57
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,218
[clears throat]
58
00:02:22,218 --> 00:02:23,655
♪ Let me clear my throat
59
00:02:23,755 --> 00:02:25,090
[beat boxing]
60
00:02:25,190 --> 00:02:27,094
[gasping]
61
00:02:27,094 --> 00:02:28,965
Oh, God.
62
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,000
Listen up.
63
00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:33,172
This week we got the Grimsburg
Spider Parade and--
64
00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:35,779
Wynona, you're not a detective.
65
00:02:35,779 --> 00:02:37,849
Do you need me to get
the spray bottle again?
66
00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:39,519
No, no, please, no.
67
00:02:39,519 --> 00:02:42,725
How could you close Camp--
68
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:46,567
Grimsburg?
69
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,170
That place made me
into what I am today.
70
00:02:48,170 --> 00:02:49,539
A big, fat loser?
71
00:02:49,539 --> 00:02:51,510
No, that's what I was
when I arrived at camp.
72
00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:53,781
But by the time I left,
I was a big, fat leader.
73
00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:55,618
In fact, I ended up
being a counselor there,
74
00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:58,490
helping to shape young lives,
and also shape clay bowls
75
00:02:58,490 --> 00:02:59,893
when I filled in
for the pottery instructor
76
00:02:59,893 --> 00:03:02,532
because she was off dry humping
the kayaking instructor.
77
00:03:02,632 --> 00:03:05,037
And that's what
the children of Grimsburg need.
78
00:03:05,137 --> 00:03:07,174
Not the dry humping,
but the life-shaping.
79
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,044
Sorry, Flute,
but we had to close the camp.
80
00:03:09,044 --> 00:03:12,284
Too many counselors were
murdered, even for Grimsburg.
81
00:03:12,384 --> 00:03:13,486
Then what are we waiting for?
82
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:14,388
Let's go up there
and catch that guy.
83
00:03:14,488 --> 00:03:15,490
Oh, we caught him already.
84
00:03:15,490 --> 00:03:16,927
But the slasher returned.
85
00:03:17,027 --> 00:03:18,396
Then the slasher lived.
86
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,267
And a final chapter,
a final revenge,
87
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,572
and a final beginning.
88
00:03:22,672 --> 00:03:24,977
After he took Manhattan,
we had to shut the camp down.
89
00:03:25,077 --> 00:03:25,912
And it worked.
90
00:03:26,079 --> 00:03:27,782
There hasn't been
a counselor killed since.
91
00:03:27,882 --> 00:03:28,918
Great, so he moved on.
92
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:31,122
We'll reopen the camp
and slasher proof the place
93
00:03:31,255 --> 00:03:32,124
in case he comes back.
94
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:33,126
No!
95
00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:35,297
This sounds like the
beginning of a horror movie.
96
00:03:35,397 --> 00:03:37,536
Let's go up to the old,
abandoned summer camp?
97
00:03:37,636 --> 00:03:39,438
Did someone say let's go up
98
00:03:39,438 --> 00:03:41,209
to the old, abandoned
summer camp?
99
00:03:41,309 --> 00:03:42,645
Camp would be so fun.
100
00:03:42,645 --> 00:03:44,983
We got to go.
- Uh, wow, who are they?
101
00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:48,558
The new detectives, part
of our hot recruit program.
102
00:03:48,558 --> 00:03:51,229
This department's
been getting real fugly.
103
00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:52,732
[giggles]
Stop.
104
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,772
You're getting my boobs wet.
- You splashed my crotch first.
105
00:03:55,772 --> 00:03:57,074
Ooh!
[giggling]
106
00:03:57,074 --> 00:03:58,376
Mm, mm.
107
00:03:58,376 --> 00:03:59,880
Pack your stuff.
108
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,616
We're going to murder camp.
109
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,020
Not you, Wynona.
110
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,722
♪ ♪
111
00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:07,795
I thought you said we
were going out for lunch.
112
00:04:07,795 --> 00:04:10,167
Yes, outside.
113
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,469
It's just a short hike.
114
00:04:11,469 --> 00:04:12,638
[eagle screeches]
115
00:04:12,638 --> 00:04:14,910
Mom, you can't
force an indoor cat
116
00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:16,312
to be an outdoor cat.
117
00:04:16,312 --> 00:04:18,016
Some cats are meant
to stay in their room
118
00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:22,290
watching YouTube videos of
outdoor cats wearing a GoPro.
119
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:24,461
This just isn't me.
120
00:04:24,461 --> 00:04:26,132
I'm bad at nature.
121
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:27,000
Oh, come on.
122
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,336
It's good for you
to be out here.
123
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,741
Nobody is bad at nature.
124
00:04:32,277 --> 00:04:33,914
Ah, ah!
[grunts]
125
00:04:34,014 --> 00:04:34,916
Wha--
126
00:04:35,016 --> 00:04:37,354
[yelping]
127
00:04:38,290 --> 00:04:41,162
[groaning]
128
00:04:41,162 --> 00:04:42,197
[panting]
129
00:04:42,297 --> 00:04:43,466
You're OK.
130
00:04:43,466 --> 00:04:45,304
We have a backup pair.
131
00:04:45,304 --> 00:04:46,841
[sighs]
132
00:04:46,941 --> 00:04:48,376
[bird clucking]
133
00:04:49,445 --> 00:04:51,482
[ominous music]
134
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,854
This is where I die again.
135
00:04:53,854 --> 00:04:56,358
If you do, I'll be
right here to autopsy you.
136
00:04:56,358 --> 00:04:59,231
Wynona, I told you
to stay at your morgue.
137
00:04:59,231 --> 00:05:02,572
It's OK.
I brought my work with me.
138
00:05:02,672 --> 00:05:04,576
Hey, no fighting
because we just went
139
00:05:04,576 --> 00:05:07,582
from coworkers to
"co-ounselors."
140
00:05:07,582 --> 00:05:09,886
Welcome to Camp Grimsburg.
141
00:05:09,886 --> 00:05:12,692
Anybody got a sewing kit,
so I can let out this crotch?
142
00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:15,999
[upbeat music]
143
00:05:15,999 --> 00:05:18,671
OK, it's time
to slasher-proof the camp.
144
00:05:18,771 --> 00:05:21,008
So if you see an item
that can be used to slice,
145
00:05:21,008 --> 00:05:23,513
stab, skewer, hang,
fillet, or jostle,
146
00:05:23,513 --> 00:05:25,885
we need to make it not be
able to do those things.
147
00:05:25,885 --> 00:05:29,058
Hey, Wynona, are you my pants
at the end of "Conjuring II"?
148
00:05:29,058 --> 00:05:30,761
Because you're
about to get wet.
149
00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:31,897
[screams]
150
00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:33,768
Camp razzing, so fun.
151
00:05:33,868 --> 00:05:38,276
♪ ♪
152
00:05:38,376 --> 00:05:39,680
Camp hijinks.
153
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,215
More fun!
154
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:45,858
♪
155
00:05:45,958 --> 00:05:47,829
Camp misuse of power.
156
00:05:47,829 --> 00:05:48,998
The funnest!
157
00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:51,803
I love being a leader.
158
00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:56,814
Can't believe
Mom took all my screens.
159
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,249
What am I, Amish?
160
00:05:58,349 --> 00:05:59,520
[distant clattering]
161
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:00,955
What's happening?
162
00:06:00,955 --> 00:06:03,560
Someone better not be
stealing all our good garbage.
163
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,766
[ominous music]
164
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:13,880
♪ ♪
165
00:06:14,716 --> 00:06:15,450
[screams]
166
00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:16,787
Stan, it's OK.
167
00:06:16,887 --> 00:06:19,759
Stay calm, and say
hello to your grandma.
168
00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:22,430
[roars]
169
00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:25,538
[screaming]
170
00:06:26,005 --> 00:06:29,277
So should I cook,
or did you fill up on trash?
171
00:06:29,277 --> 00:06:30,714
Ooh, my turn.
172
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:35,056
Never have I ever had
a crush on Summers.
173
00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:37,194
No one?
Never?
174
00:06:37,194 --> 00:06:38,296
Haven't you ever?
175
00:06:38,396 --> 00:06:41,937
Never have I ever
kissed a dead body.
176
00:06:44,776 --> 00:06:45,845
OK.
177
00:06:45,845 --> 00:06:47,548
No more communal
coffee mugs for me.
178
00:06:47,548 --> 00:06:49,451
[both giggling]
179
00:06:49,552 --> 00:06:50,788
Where are they going?
180
00:06:50,788 --> 00:06:52,257
They're gonna go play
seven minutes in heaven,
181
00:06:52,257 --> 00:06:54,863
or as you call it, "what are
the other six minutes for?"
182
00:06:54,963 --> 00:06:56,332
Well, they're
going to miss out
183
00:06:56,432 --> 00:06:58,470
on a hallowed
Camp Grimsburg tradition,
184
00:06:58,470 --> 00:06:59,872
the marshmallow roast.
185
00:06:59,872 --> 00:07:00,975
I'll go first.
186
00:07:00,975 --> 00:07:03,145
Hi, I'm Wynona, and if I
was a Girl Scout cookie,
187
00:07:03,145 --> 00:07:05,350
I'd be a Tagalong
because it's the worst cookie
188
00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:07,487
and a perfect description
for what I am.
189
00:07:07,487 --> 00:07:09,124
[guffaws]
Ya roasted.
190
00:07:09,224 --> 00:07:09,993
Ow!
191
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,095
Why don't you leave
her alone, Flute?
192
00:07:11,328 --> 00:07:13,033
And why don't you tell me
what's on top of a table?
193
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,336
You can't because you're small,
like a peanut.
194
00:07:15,437 --> 00:07:16,574
Ya honey roasted!
195
00:07:16,574 --> 00:07:18,409
Also like a peanut.
196
00:07:18,409 --> 00:07:20,447
I'm Summers,
and I'm annoyingly positive
197
00:07:20,447 --> 00:07:22,450
no matter what happens.
198
00:07:22,551 --> 00:07:24,321
Cool, a free marshmallow.
199
00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:25,156
All right. That's it.
200
00:07:25,323 --> 00:07:27,328
I'm done LARPing
this chump's childhood.
201
00:07:27,328 --> 00:07:28,965
Let's go.
202
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,935
[distant screaming]
203
00:07:30,935 --> 00:07:32,505
[dramatic music]
204
00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:34,542
[all gasp]
205
00:07:35,944 --> 00:07:37,615
They're dead.
206
00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:39,251
Bet you're pretty glad
I came now, huh?
207
00:07:39,385 --> 00:07:41,355
Looks like
the slasher's back.
208
00:07:41,355 --> 00:07:42,525
And he took their heads.
209
00:07:42,626 --> 00:07:43,828
Can't blame him.
210
00:07:43,828 --> 00:07:45,898
There's no way he has a hotter
pair in his head collection.
211
00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:47,635
Then we're not
going anywhere.
212
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:50,373
There's a killer on the loose,
and our next camp activity
213
00:07:50,373 --> 00:07:52,211
is Capture the Maniac.
214
00:07:52,211 --> 00:07:54,949
But first, flashlight tag!
215
00:07:55,049 --> 00:07:57,254
You're it.
No way you're going to find me.
216
00:07:57,254 --> 00:07:59,358
Are you guys even
trying to find me?
217
00:07:59,358 --> 00:08:02,497
Guys? Guys? Guys?
218
00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:04,000
Guys?
219
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,571
Guys?
220
00:08:08,844 --> 00:08:10,581
Well, the slasher is back,
221
00:08:10,681 --> 00:08:12,051
and just like in horror movies,
222
00:08:12,051 --> 00:08:14,689
he took out the overly
sexual hotties first.
223
00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:18,429
Maybe if we figure out which
trope each of us falls into,
224
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:20,568
we can get ahead
of who he goes after next.
225
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:21,703
We got the tough chick.
226
00:08:21,803 --> 00:08:23,607
- What did you call me?
- The skeptic.
227
00:08:23,607 --> 00:08:24,876
- Prove it.
- The scaredy cat.
228
00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:27,247
- Cat, where?
- Ooh, who am I?
229
00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:28,517
Oh, we already had a hot guy.
230
00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:29,452
But can there be a hot leader?
231
00:08:29,653 --> 00:08:32,424
What about a cool leader
or a cool, hotter leader guy
232
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:33,426
who's also the fastest?
233
00:08:33,426 --> 00:08:35,397
Time me!
234
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,937
Uh, so who usually
gets killed next?
235
00:08:38,937 --> 00:08:41,175
Unfortunately,
the killers almost
236
00:08:41,175 --> 00:08:42,845
always move on to minorities.
237
00:08:42,945 --> 00:08:45,450
So as the token Sasquatch
of the group,
238
00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:47,287
I guess that means me.
239
00:08:47,387 --> 00:08:49,324
Actually,
the four of us--oh!
240
00:08:49,424 --> 00:08:51,763
Yep, she's
the only minority here.
241
00:08:51,863 --> 00:08:53,601
- That's true.
- I don't see any others.
242
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,869
Uh, that's right.
243
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,440
She's stealing our America.
244
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:58,075
Too far?
245
00:08:58,075 --> 00:09:00,715
You guys, I found footprints.
246
00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:02,450
Anybody get my time on that?
247
00:09:02,552 --> 00:09:05,123
[ominous music]
248
00:09:05,223 --> 00:09:07,862
Oh, no, the tracks end
at the Triple Dog Dare Drop.
249
00:09:07,962 --> 00:09:09,566
Should we jump,
or are we going to let
250
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:10,801
a sign tell us what to do?
251
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,005
That's what signs
are designed for.
252
00:09:13,005 --> 00:09:14,008
What's that?
253
00:09:14,108 --> 00:09:15,711
You guys will accept me
if I jump first?
254
00:09:15,711 --> 00:09:17,581
[laughs]
OK.
255
00:09:17,581 --> 00:09:20,219
I'm fitting in!
256
00:09:21,222 --> 00:09:23,026
All right.
Who's next?
257
00:09:23,026 --> 00:09:25,330
That's it.
I'm calling for backup.
258
00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:27,034
Where's my phone?
- Right here.
259
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,971
I took your phone,
so you could unplug.
260
00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:30,975
You're all acting like
a bunch of screen-agers.
261
00:09:31,075 --> 00:09:33,580
Wait, did I just coin
the hot, new phrase?
262
00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:35,183
I'll trademark it
and be richer than the guy
263
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,418
who came up with Zoom fatigue.
264
00:09:36,418 --> 00:09:38,624
I got to use one of your phones
to call my patent lawyer.
265
00:09:38,724 --> 00:09:41,228
Wait, no,
sticking with the plan.
266
00:09:41,328 --> 00:09:41,997
Ow!
267
00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:43,299
Wait, my charger
was in there.
268
00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:46,171
My battery's about to die, and
I haven't converted to solar.
269
00:09:46,171 --> 00:09:48,309
Honestly, I just need
a weekend to run the numbers,
270
00:09:48,309 --> 00:09:51,015
which I'll never get to do
because I'm going to die here.
271
00:09:51,015 --> 00:09:52,752
Yeah, I remember worrying
about my finances
272
00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:55,089
before I had screen-ager money.
273
00:09:56,258 --> 00:09:58,964
[soft music]
274
00:09:59,064 --> 00:10:01,503
Aw, did your friends
trick you into jumping
275
00:10:01,603 --> 00:10:03,473
off a waterfall too?
276
00:10:03,473 --> 00:10:06,513
[panting]
277
00:10:06,613 --> 00:10:07,615
My grandma!
278
00:10:07,749 --> 00:10:09,151
She's terrifying.
279
00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:12,023
Yeah, I thought
she'd be more of a Paddington,
280
00:10:12,023 --> 00:10:15,163
you know, maybe a Pooh,
but she is full-on "Revenant."
281
00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:17,300
Stan, don't be rude
to your grandmother.
282
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:20,642
She came here to help you
learn how to love nature.
283
00:10:20,642 --> 00:10:22,277
But she's a bear.
284
00:10:22,411 --> 00:10:23,914
How do you know
she won't eat me?
285
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,450
Please.
You're much too small.
286
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:26,786
Most of your body
weight is cape.
287
00:10:26,786 --> 00:10:29,692
Come on.
You can do this.
288
00:10:29,792 --> 00:10:31,295
Stan, don't give in.
289
00:10:31,295 --> 00:10:32,699
She's gaslighting you.
290
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,434
First you get some fresh air,
291
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:36,072
then your mental health
improves,
292
00:10:36,072 --> 00:10:38,209
and then what happens
to me, hmm?
293
00:10:38,209 --> 00:10:40,413
I lay dormant
until you accidentally see
294
00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:42,718
someone get run over by a bus?
295
00:10:43,654 --> 00:10:45,090
Oh, good.
We're lost.
296
00:10:45,090 --> 00:10:47,327
Check that slasher movie
cliché off the list.
297
00:10:47,427 --> 00:10:50,066
Next it's person going missing,
and we'll be at,
298
00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:53,072
"seriously, guys, it's not
funny anymore," soon enough.
299
00:10:53,072 --> 00:10:55,578
Oh, and look at that,
an abandoned cabin.
300
00:10:55,678 --> 00:10:57,849
Right on time.
301
00:10:57,849 --> 00:10:59,886
Hey, there, little friend.
302
00:10:59,886 --> 00:11:01,723
You want to join
the cuddle crew?
303
00:11:01,723 --> 00:11:02,758
You think you can cut it?
304
00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:04,829
It's a pretty cuddly crew.
305
00:11:04,829 --> 00:11:06,599
Whoever lives here
is a real talent.
306
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:07,535
I'm talking Maroon 5 level.
307
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:10,774
This guy's got moves like
Jagger, but for crafts.
308
00:11:12,545 --> 00:11:14,381
[dramatic music]
309
00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:18,356
And is obviously a psychopath,
like Adam Levine.
310
00:11:18,356 --> 00:11:20,661
But look at the craftsmanship
on this popsicle stick
311
00:11:20,661 --> 00:11:21,897
model of the entire camp.
312
00:11:21,897 --> 00:11:22,799
Huh.
313
00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:23,867
Loser's hoisted
on the flagpole.
314
00:11:23,867 --> 00:11:25,169
Classic camp game.
315
00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:27,340
Takes me back.
316
00:11:29,579 --> 00:11:30,581
[distant laughter]
317
00:11:30,715 --> 00:11:33,586
This wedgie
is reversing my puberty.
318
00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:37,093
[guffawing]
319
00:11:37,093 --> 00:11:37,962
Aw, come on.
320
00:11:37,962 --> 00:11:39,766
Those are my only clothes.
321
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,170
I didn't pack well.
322
00:11:44,976 --> 00:11:46,813
My name's not Stinky.
323
00:11:46,813 --> 00:11:48,382
It's Stinkowski.
324
00:11:48,482 --> 00:11:49,719
Oh, wait, I remember him.
325
00:11:49,719 --> 00:11:50,988
Stinky.
326
00:11:50,988 --> 00:11:52,023
I wonder what
happened to Stinky?
327
00:11:52,157 --> 00:11:53,961
He's probably still all smelly.
328
00:11:53,961 --> 00:11:56,031
That's Stinky for you.
329
00:11:56,031 --> 00:11:58,603
♪
330
00:11:58,704 --> 00:12:00,473
So he grew up to--
331
00:12:00,473 --> 00:12:01,510
oh, right.
332
00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:03,279
Now I'm up to speed.
333
00:12:03,379 --> 00:12:04,749
♪ ♪
334
00:12:04,883 --> 00:12:08,122
[campers screaming]
335
00:12:09,793 --> 00:12:12,130
Who did this to you?
336
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:14,001
You did.
337
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,302
Oh.
338
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:18,042
So, wait, can I ask you,
how much does a slasher make?
339
00:12:18,142 --> 00:12:20,213
Basically, anything you find
in your victims' pockets
340
00:12:20,313 --> 00:12:21,415
you can keep.
341
00:12:21,415 --> 00:12:23,018
Everything in their cabins
is up for grabs too.
342
00:12:23,018 --> 00:12:24,655
A lot of my income comes
from reselling their stuff
343
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:26,024
on nextdoor.com.
344
00:12:26,024 --> 00:12:27,928
I know, it's mostly
boomers and fascists,
345
00:12:28,028 --> 00:12:30,033
but that's where
the buyers are.
346
00:12:30,033 --> 00:12:31,903
Right, right, well,
good seeing you.
347
00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:35,544
Catch you later.
- Not if I catch you first.
348
00:12:35,544 --> 00:12:38,650
So you created
this monster, Flute?
349
00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:42,190
Well, um...
350
00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:44,094
maybe.
351
00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:46,299
You're always talking
about live streaming.
352
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,371
Here, you're literally
in a live stream.
353
00:12:49,371 --> 00:12:51,275
Go!
Play with grandma.
354
00:12:51,275 --> 00:12:53,278
[growls]
355
00:13:01,495 --> 00:13:06,907
Uh, not to human-splain,
but the water flow is too wide.
356
00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:08,844
You need an obstruction!
357
00:13:08,844 --> 00:13:11,950
It's like in Minecraft.
358
00:13:11,950 --> 00:13:13,085
What could we use?
359
00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:16,693
Uh, oh, that could work.
360
00:13:16,793 --> 00:13:18,596
Use rock.
361
00:13:18,596 --> 00:13:21,335
Put there.
362
00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:23,673
[growls]
363
00:13:23,774 --> 00:13:24,942
She's doing it.
364
00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:26,813
She understood me.
365
00:13:26,813 --> 00:13:28,817
Did I just speak bear?
366
00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:32,057
[soft music]
367
00:13:32,057 --> 00:13:34,461
♪
368
00:13:34,562 --> 00:13:36,031
Yeah!
369
00:13:36,031 --> 00:13:37,334
Maybe you're right.
370
00:13:37,434 --> 00:13:40,240
Maybe I am an outside kid.
371
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,878
Go, follow that bear
into the woods.
372
00:13:42,878 --> 00:13:44,849
Just be home before winter.
373
00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:46,118
No, I'm kidding.
374
00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:47,420
I was trying
to be a cool mom,
375
00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:49,892
but I do want
to see you before then.
376
00:13:49,992 --> 00:13:51,362
Wait, you can't go.
377
00:13:51,495 --> 00:13:52,865
This is all your fault.
378
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:53,934
If it wasn't for you,
379
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:57,273
those hot recruits would
still be alive and hot.
380
00:13:57,273 --> 00:13:58,978
Well, at least
we finally figured out
381
00:13:58,978 --> 00:14:00,580
which movie trope you are.
382
00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,117
You're the bully.
- Bully?
383
00:14:02,117 --> 00:14:03,386
The last person
who called me that
384
00:14:03,386 --> 00:14:05,390
got an atomic wedgie,
a nuclear noogie,
385
00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:07,194
and a half-assed swirly
in the sink.
386
00:14:07,294 --> 00:14:08,930
I was pretty tired
after the first two.
387
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,268
[tires squeal]
388
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:12,571
Thank you for pulling over.
389
00:14:12,571 --> 00:14:15,376
We're trying to--what the--
390
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:19,919
I know I'm unflappable,
but consider me flapped.
391
00:14:20,019 --> 00:14:21,288
I didn't need
those guys anyway
392
00:14:21,288 --> 00:14:23,493
because now it's very clear
which trope I am.
393
00:14:23,493 --> 00:14:25,029
I'm the final girl.
394
00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:26,498
And to celebrate,
I'm going to go take
395
00:14:26,498 --> 00:14:28,670
a shower with lots of suds.
396
00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:30,641
[tense music]
397
00:14:30,641 --> 00:14:31,509
[clattering]
398
00:14:31,509 --> 00:14:32,678
Wait, is somebody there?
399
00:14:32,778 --> 00:14:35,216
Seriously, guys,
it's not funny anymore.
400
00:14:35,216 --> 00:14:36,520
Ah!
401
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,222
Ahh!
402
00:14:38,222 --> 00:14:42,765
♪ ♪
403
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,635
[yelps]
404
00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:51,649
♪
405
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,805
Right,
we plastic wrapped the lake,
406
00:15:02,805 --> 00:15:04,509
so the slasher
couldn't drown anyone.
407
00:15:04,509 --> 00:15:07,681
[plastic squeaking]
408
00:15:11,021 --> 00:15:13,827
[tense music]
409
00:15:13,827 --> 00:15:15,797
Counselor Flute.
410
00:15:15,897 --> 00:15:16,966
Remember me?
411
00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:19,605
Triangle cabin,
bunk 11, Stinky?
412
00:15:19,605 --> 00:15:22,243
You thought it was funny when
you tricked me into sitting
413
00:15:22,243 --> 00:15:23,981
on a chocolate bar
before the talent show
414
00:15:24,114 --> 00:15:27,386
and told everybody my talent
was pooping in my pants.
415
00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:30,226
Yes, poop is always funny.
Name a time it's not.
416
00:15:30,226 --> 00:15:32,230
And don't say
"during a dental cleaning"
417
00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:34,400
because I got a story.
418
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,639
Wait, wait, please, at least
let me make it up to you.
419
00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:38,544
I'll give you the camp
experience you never had,
420
00:15:38,544 --> 00:15:40,179
and then you can kill me.
421
00:15:40,179 --> 00:15:43,352
I was really planning to do
this at peak killing anger,
422
00:15:43,352 --> 00:15:45,223
so I don't want to lose that.
423
00:15:45,223 --> 00:15:47,729
But I think I can
tap into it again.
424
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:48,764
OK.
425
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,737
[upbeat music]
426
00:15:51,837 --> 00:15:58,750
♪ ♪
427
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,819
[laughs]
428
00:16:16,819 --> 00:16:19,758
[crickets chirping]
429
00:16:20,894 --> 00:16:28,075
♪
430
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:42,036
Have you ever,
like, tongue kissed?
431
00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:44,642
Dude, I've gone all the way.
432
00:16:46,478 --> 00:16:49,518
This is the best day
of my life.
433
00:16:49,518 --> 00:16:50,453
Mine too.
434
00:16:50,554 --> 00:16:52,892
But you're still
going to die.
435
00:16:52,892 --> 00:16:55,095
For sure.
436
00:16:57,634 --> 00:16:58,937
[phone chimes]
437
00:16:59,037 --> 00:17:00,941
Are you aware that you
have four screens open?
438
00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:02,310
Uh, yes, bitch.
439
00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:04,481
I earned it
with some great parenting.
440
00:17:04,615 --> 00:17:06,953
Plus, I'm an adult,
so my brain's already wrecked.
441
00:17:06,953 --> 00:17:07,955
[phone rings]
442
00:17:07,955 --> 00:17:08,990
Hello?
443
00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:10,827
Ms. Flute,
we have a problem.
444
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:14,535
Please don't shoot her.
445
00:17:14,635 --> 00:17:16,806
Yes, she's tasted
human flesh, but--
446
00:17:16,907 --> 00:17:18,543
It's not a she.
447
00:17:19,344 --> 00:17:21,348
Stan, stay calm.
You're OK.
448
00:17:21,348 --> 00:17:22,183
[growls]
449
00:17:22,183 --> 00:17:23,687
Mom, what do we do?
450
00:17:23,687 --> 00:17:25,056
- [growls]
- [gasps]
451
00:17:25,056 --> 00:17:27,060
I am not eating my young.
452
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:28,496
Who do you think I am,
453
00:17:28,496 --> 00:17:31,101
Bear 1425
from the west-facing caves?
454
00:17:31,101 --> 00:17:33,238
[growling]
455
00:17:33,338 --> 00:17:34,708
Then just abandon him?
456
00:17:34,708 --> 00:17:38,082
Oh, ho, ho, of course
that's your answer.
457
00:17:38,082 --> 00:17:40,253
That's what you did
to me when I was 12.
458
00:17:40,253 --> 00:17:42,257
And before you start huffing,
459
00:17:42,357 --> 00:17:44,360
I know that's how
bears raise their young.
460
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:46,164
But I was the one
who got adopted and had
461
00:17:46,164 --> 00:17:48,870
to suddenly live inside
a house when all I knew
462
00:17:48,971 --> 00:17:51,008
was the outdoors.
463
00:17:51,008 --> 00:17:53,880
Just like Stan has no idea
what to do out here.
464
00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:56,084
Ugh!
Hang on, baby, I'm coming.
465
00:17:56,084 --> 00:17:57,955
I was just trying
to do what you wanted.
466
00:17:58,055 --> 00:17:59,992
And now I'm up here,
and the view's nice,
467
00:18:00,092 --> 00:18:01,028
but it's way too high.
468
00:18:01,228 --> 00:18:03,866
And I saw some birds and maybe
half a cloud under me.
469
00:18:03,967 --> 00:18:06,071
And that kind of messed
with my head.
470
00:18:06,071 --> 00:18:07,641
No, this is all my fault.
471
00:18:07,641 --> 00:18:10,280
I was worried that you were
too indoors, so I pushed you,
472
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,650
and that made you too outdoors.
473
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,987
I should have found
a happy middle ground,
474
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,891
one that's just right.
475
00:18:16,025 --> 00:18:18,863
Oh, like
in that Goldilocks story.
476
00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:20,534
No, no,
we don't talk about that.
477
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:23,405
Look, I need to respect
that you are an inside kid.
478
00:18:23,506 --> 00:18:25,376
But you need to respect
that sometimes
479
00:18:25,476 --> 00:18:27,380
it's a mom's job to push you.
480
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,384
I just need to find
the right level.
481
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,021
- How's this?
- How's what?
482
00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:32,891
[screams]
483
00:18:32,991 --> 00:18:33,993
Whoo!
484
00:18:33,993 --> 00:18:35,262
That felt good.
485
00:18:35,262 --> 00:18:36,665
Maybe too good.
486
00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:38,570
[dramatic music]
487
00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:40,273
Today was exactly
what I thought
488
00:18:40,273 --> 00:18:41,576
camp was going to be like.
489
00:18:41,676 --> 00:18:43,580
I'm not sure
I can kill you now.
490
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,651
Well, you won't hear
any arguments from me.
491
00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:46,820
Or my dental hygienist.
492
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,590
She's made it very clear that
she wants to pull the trigger.
493
00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:50,326
Oh, no,
I'm going to kill you.
494
00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:51,696
Just not right now.
495
00:18:51,696 --> 00:18:54,869
Because first,
I'm gonna finally humiliate you
496
00:18:54,869 --> 00:18:56,304
in front of all your friends
497
00:18:56,304 --> 00:19:00,513
for the good old-fashioned Camp
Grimsburg marshmallow roast.
498
00:19:00,513 --> 00:19:01,550
I'll go first.
499
00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:03,419
Looks like you've gained
some weight, Flute.
500
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,289
What have you been doing
since camp,
501
00:19:05,389 --> 00:19:07,093
eating other camps?
502
00:19:07,193 --> 00:19:08,664
Ya roasted!
- Ow!
503
00:19:08,764 --> 00:19:10,432
So who's next?
Come on.
504
00:19:10,432 --> 00:19:12,638
I know you all hate him.
Roast him!
505
00:19:12,738 --> 00:19:14,709
No, I won't let you
subject them to that.
506
00:19:14,709 --> 00:19:16,211
It's way too hard
to come up with anything
507
00:19:16,311 --> 00:19:17,280
but compliments for me.
508
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,482
You are pretty stupid.
509
00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:19,619
Your mustache has food in it.
510
00:19:19,619 --> 00:19:22,056
You're off-putting socially,
personally, hygienically.
511
00:19:22,156 --> 00:19:24,160
Clearly, they're
grasping at straws here,
512
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,462
so I'll roast myself.
513
00:19:25,462 --> 00:19:27,033
Hmm, what to say about myself?
514
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,503
Hey, Flute,
when you meet a date,
515
00:19:28,503 --> 00:19:30,206
do you say,
"Your ex's basement or mine?"
516
00:19:30,306 --> 00:19:31,509
[laughs]
I'm roasted.
517
00:19:31,509 --> 00:19:33,346
Hey, Flute, the gorilla cage
at the zoo called.
518
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:35,015
It wants its stench back.
519
00:19:35,015 --> 00:19:36,384
I'm roasted.
520
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:38,055
Hey, Flute,
a cage actually can't
521
00:19:38,055 --> 00:19:39,090
make a phone call, idiot.
522
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,226
I'm roasted.
523
00:19:40,226 --> 00:19:41,796
No, stop.
524
00:19:41,896 --> 00:19:43,331
This isn't how it goes.
525
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:45,102
It doesn't hurt
if you're in on it.
526
00:19:45,102 --> 00:19:46,605
Maybe not,
but does this hurt?
527
00:19:46,739 --> 00:19:49,444
Potato bomb,
my partner, pronto!
528
00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:50,847
♪
529
00:19:50,947 --> 00:19:52,116
Oh.
530
00:19:52,116 --> 00:19:53,987
♪ ♪
531
00:19:53,987 --> 00:19:55,691
Oh.
532
00:19:55,691 --> 00:19:57,561
♪
533
00:19:57,661 --> 00:19:59,799
Now let's see the twisted,
malformed visage
534
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,336
that matches
your hideous, gnarled soul.
535
00:20:02,336 --> 00:20:05,209
[gasps]
The super hot recruit!
536
00:20:05,209 --> 00:20:07,480
But we saw your hot, dead body.
537
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,288
You saw a hot,
dead body with no head.
538
00:20:11,388 --> 00:20:12,758
You'd be shocked
what influencers
539
00:20:12,758 --> 00:20:15,163
will do if you promise
you can increase engagement.
540
00:20:15,263 --> 00:20:16,431
I guess you guys were right.
541
00:20:16,431 --> 00:20:17,768
We should have kept
this place closed.
542
00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:19,505
Sorry I bullied you all
into coming up here.
543
00:20:19,605 --> 00:20:22,410
Well, we did learn
a little about ourselves.
544
00:20:22,511 --> 00:20:24,381
Yeah, I learned
that the scaredy cat could
545
00:20:24,481 --> 00:20:27,386
end up being the hero dog.
546
00:20:27,386 --> 00:20:28,523
And I learned
that even though I'm
547
00:20:28,623 --> 00:20:30,393
not technically
one of the gang,
548
00:20:30,393 --> 00:20:33,231
I'm still one of the gang.
549
00:20:33,231 --> 00:20:35,804
And I learned
that killing is not OK,
550
00:20:35,804 --> 00:20:38,777
no matter how badly someone
embarrassed you as a child.
551
00:20:38,877 --> 00:20:40,145
Thanks, guys.
552
00:20:40,246 --> 00:20:42,384
And that is what
camp is all about.
553
00:20:42,384 --> 00:20:43,686
- Uh, Flute?
- Hold on.
554
00:20:43,786 --> 00:20:45,757
I learned I was a bully,
and now I want to change that.
555
00:20:45,857 --> 00:20:47,127
- Flute.
- Quiet.
556
00:20:47,227 --> 00:20:49,097
And so we all came up
to camp one person,
557
00:20:49,097 --> 00:20:49,898
but we're leaving--
558
00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:51,467
- Flute, he's getting away.
- Right.
559
00:20:51,569 --> 00:20:52,637
But we're leaving
as different people.
560
00:20:52,637 --> 00:20:53,806
Come back.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
561
00:20:57,848 --> 00:20:58,783
Hey, guys.
562
00:20:58,883 --> 00:20:59,918
So I caught a fish.
563
00:21:00,018 --> 00:21:01,555
Oh, that's great, sweetie.
564
00:21:01,555 --> 00:21:03,191
No, I'm not talking to you.
565
00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:06,331
I'm talking to my Stan stans,
all two of them.
566
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,466
Sorry, guys.
567
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,438
Now, let's attach
a GoPro to this thing
568
00:21:09,539 --> 00:21:11,709
and flush it down the toilet.
569
00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:12,978
Yeah, there's no way
that'll fit.
570
00:21:12,978 --> 00:21:15,182
I tried flushing something
that size earlier.
571
00:21:15,182 --> 00:21:17,053
Did not go well.
572
00:21:17,053 --> 00:21:19,423
Oh, I love Grimsburg
in the summer.
573
00:21:19,558 --> 00:21:21,428
Smells like French fries.
- Yeah.
574
00:21:21,428 --> 00:21:24,768
You can really smell
the power station tonight, huh?
575
00:21:24,768 --> 00:21:27,708
[tense music]
576
00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:32,684
♪ ♪
577
00:21:36,391 --> 00:21:38,061
Bento.
39969
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