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1
00:00:04,676 --> 00:00:06,212
This is so boring.
2
00:00:06,212 --> 00:00:08,784
Yeah, nobody ever wants
to play with us.
3
00:00:08,784 --> 00:00:10,788
[barks]
[dramatic music]
4
00:00:10,888 --> 00:00:12,659
- Look!
- [sniffs]
5
00:00:14,796 --> 00:00:15,798
[whines]
6
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,702
Oh, my God.
7
00:00:17,802 --> 00:00:19,806
We can play two-on-two!
8
00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:22,211
[upbeat music]
9
00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:24,415
Whoa!
- Pass it, Hockey Dog!
10
00:00:24,516 --> 00:00:26,419
I'm open!
11
00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:29,458
- All right!
- Get it, Hockey Dog!
12
00:00:29,559 --> 00:00:31,864
Yeah!
13
00:00:31,864 --> 00:00:33,099
[laughs]
14
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:36,172
Great job, Hockey Dog.
You're a real winner.
15
00:00:36,172 --> 00:00:38,845
Hooray for friendship!
16
00:00:38,845 --> 00:00:40,948
[barking]
17
00:00:40,948 --> 00:00:43,954
[dramatic music]
18
00:00:43,954 --> 00:00:51,302
♪ ♪
19
00:01:00,588 --> 00:01:01,723
[glass shatters]
20
00:01:03,259 --> 00:01:05,030
Well, with the one
Hockey Dog found,
21
00:01:05,030 --> 00:01:06,600
that's four victims this week.
22
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,673
No link besides the scratches
on their palms.
23
00:01:09,673 --> 00:01:10,541
Don't bother, Summers.
24
00:01:10,641 --> 00:01:13,313
Flute's already deep
in his crime mind.
25
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,785
Or chasing the mailman.
26
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,893
Welcome to "Are You
Smarter Than a Murderer?"
27
00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:20,996
I'm Steve Harvey,
28
00:01:21,096 --> 00:01:22,231
and this is the best game show
29
00:01:22,231 --> 00:01:24,435
I've ever hosted this week.
30
00:01:24,536 --> 00:01:27,008
Let's meet our contestant.
- Hi, I'm Marvin Flute.
31
00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:29,178
I'm excited to play
and more excited to win,
32
00:01:29,178 --> 00:01:31,316
because I never lose anything,
except my wallet,
33
00:01:31,416 --> 00:01:34,288
my temper, and my virginity
at 13 to a vacuum cleaner.
34
00:01:34,288 --> 00:01:35,558
Sent me to the ER, but still,
35
00:01:35,558 --> 00:01:38,196
first in my friend group
to lose it, so I won.
36
00:01:38,196 --> 00:01:39,533
Would love to delve
into that,
37
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,737
but I'm hosting
"Celebrity Pasta Slurp-Off,"
38
00:01:41,737 --> 00:01:44,543
and Leighton Meester ain't
gonna wait for that bucatini.
39
00:01:44,543 --> 00:01:47,414
Let's play! Spanx on the floor.
[buzzer dings]
40
00:01:47,414 --> 00:01:49,418
The victim had been trying
to squeeze into a slim dress.
41
00:01:49,418 --> 00:01:50,922
Correct.
[bell dings]
42
00:01:51,022 --> 00:01:52,592
Wine stain on her purse.
43
00:01:52,592 --> 00:01:54,730
Based on the spatter pattern,
that stain could only come
44
00:01:54,730 --> 00:01:57,267
from one thing: someone who
barely touched their dinner,
45
00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,171
had a few too many,
and is drunkenly flailing
46
00:01:59,171 --> 00:02:02,645
on a dance floor to "YMCA."
47
00:02:02,645 --> 00:02:05,818
Correct. And in that purse,
there was rice.
48
00:02:05,818 --> 00:02:08,256
She went to a wedding!
49
00:02:08,356 --> 00:02:11,597
Congratulations.
You won a possible lead.
50
00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:13,032
So is there
a regular "Slurp-Off,"
51
00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:15,571
or is it just celebrities, and
where can I send my slurp tape?
52
00:02:15,571 --> 00:02:18,209
And wait, there's--
I have more questions.
53
00:02:18,309 --> 00:02:20,346
The vic went to a wedding
the night of her murder.
54
00:02:20,346 --> 00:02:23,320
The other victims had also
recently attended weddings.
55
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:25,290
And they all had scratches
on their palms,
56
00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:29,098
as if they were clamoring
to grab a wedding bouquet!
57
00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:31,336
Someone's targeting
bouquet catchers.
58
00:02:31,336 --> 00:02:34,408
Looks like we got ourselves
a serial killer.
59
00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:41,122
Yeah, we really gotta stop
doing that.
60
00:02:41,222 --> 00:02:42,859
[tense music]
61
00:02:42,959 --> 00:02:44,228
Okay, I'll make this fast.
62
00:02:44,228 --> 00:02:45,230
- Make it fast, would you?
- Yes.
63
00:02:45,364 --> 00:02:46,332
- Thanks.
- The Bouquet Butcher's
64
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,370
on the loose, and there's
a big wedding this week.
65
00:02:48,470 --> 00:02:49,639
- How big?
- Very big.
66
00:02:49,739 --> 00:02:51,342
The killer will be there--
- And so should we.
67
00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:53,112
- We catch that bouquet--
- Well, we catch the killer.
68
00:02:53,246 --> 00:02:54,248
Any questions?
69
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:57,689
Why are
we walking in a circle?
70
00:02:57,789 --> 00:02:58,624
Listen up.
71
00:02:58,725 --> 00:03:00,628
We're going undercover
at a wedding,
72
00:03:00,628 --> 00:03:02,364
and we need to send
in the detective
73
00:03:02,364 --> 00:03:05,037
who gives us the best chance
to catch the bouquet--
74
00:03:05,137 --> 00:03:06,272
me!
75
00:03:06,272 --> 00:03:08,142
I'm built for this.
76
00:03:08,242 --> 00:03:10,346
Oh, I'm excited
to see you in action.
77
00:03:10,346 --> 00:03:12,051
You haven't been out
in the field since way back
78
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:13,888
when Clarissa explained it all.
79
00:03:13,888 --> 00:03:15,023
You're in for a treat.
80
00:03:15,123 --> 00:03:19,265
Back in the day, I won an award
for Best Undercover Detective.
81
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,238
The award is undercover
as a clock.
82
00:03:22,238 --> 00:03:24,242
Flute, you and I will go
as a couple.
83
00:03:24,242 --> 00:03:25,878
Oh, you two do look like
a couple.
84
00:03:25,878 --> 00:03:28,551
A couple of people who
definitely aren't a couple.
85
00:03:28,651 --> 00:03:31,255
Don't worry, I can fake
sexual chemistry with anything.
86
00:03:31,255 --> 00:03:33,159
Watch this.
87
00:03:33,293 --> 00:03:35,430
[everyone oohs]
88
00:03:35,531 --> 00:03:37,468
- Martinez?
- Whatever you need, Chief.
89
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,004
I can be the flower girl, DJ.
90
00:03:39,104 --> 00:03:41,677
Maybe you bake me in the cake,
I pop out, cuff the perp--
91
00:03:41,677 --> 00:03:44,215
- You're gonna be the pastor.
- Got it.
92
00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:46,318
Just enrolled
in seminary school.
93
00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:48,156
The rest of you will
be going undercover
94
00:03:48,156 --> 00:03:50,027
as the wedding band.
95
00:03:50,027 --> 00:03:51,296
I don't know, Chief.
96
00:03:51,396 --> 00:03:52,699
Don't you think
we're a little too big
97
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:56,272
to be going undercover
as a wedding ring?
98
00:03:56,272 --> 00:03:58,409
I got this. Hey, Summers.
99
00:03:58,409 --> 00:03:59,746
Hey, you got something
on your neck, buddy.
100
00:03:59,846 --> 00:04:02,284
Oh, that's just my power--
[speech slurring]
101
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,453
As the wedding band,
102
00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:04,823
you'll have
the perfect vantage point
103
00:04:04,823 --> 00:04:07,428
from the stage
to spot anything suspicious.
104
00:04:07,428 --> 00:04:08,731
And to get you ready,
105
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:13,039
I hired the best music teacher
in Grimsburg!
106
00:04:13,139 --> 00:04:16,412
[upbeat keytar solo]
107
00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:25,598
You are no longer detectives!
108
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:31,943
From today henceforth you will
be known as Wed Zeppelin.
109
00:04:33,446 --> 00:04:35,483
I haven't been to a wedding
since I officiated mine.
110
00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:37,321
Saved a ton,
skipped the boring parts,
111
00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:38,490
and nobody got
to tell me when I could
112
00:04:38,624 --> 00:04:40,193
or could not kiss the bride.
113
00:04:40,193 --> 00:04:41,329
Not starting my marriage
114
00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:42,632
getting ordered around
by a virgin.
115
00:04:42,632 --> 00:04:45,336
Hey.
I'm Terry, uncle of the bride.
116
00:04:45,470 --> 00:04:47,207
I'm Mark Milkshack,
and this is my girlfriend,
117
00:04:47,207 --> 00:04:48,309
Teresa Smoothé.
118
00:04:48,309 --> 00:04:50,046
I don't see you on the list.
119
00:04:50,046 --> 00:04:51,048
How do you know the couple?
120
00:04:51,048 --> 00:04:52,250
Uh...
121
00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:54,221
I'm the mother of the bride.
[chuckles]
122
00:04:54,354 --> 00:04:57,260
So you're my sister?
123
00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:58,530
[laughs]
You think your sister
124
00:04:58,530 --> 00:04:59,900
is the bride's actual mother?
125
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,937
She's been lying to you
this whole time, Uncle Terry,
126
00:05:01,937 --> 00:05:03,608
or should I say, Terry,
the guy who got duped
127
00:05:03,608 --> 00:05:05,410
into working the door
at a stranger's wedding
128
00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:07,949
when he could be out
on the lake windsurfing.
129
00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:09,118
You're right!
130
00:05:09,118 --> 00:05:12,024
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[laughs]
131
00:05:12,024 --> 00:05:13,628
You know, I feel bad
her uncle is gonna miss this,
132
00:05:13,628 --> 00:05:16,566
but statistically,
he's probably a pervert.
133
00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:20,273
Remember, keep an eye out
for anyone suspicious.
134
00:05:20,374 --> 00:05:22,244
Hey, no sitting
on the equipment!
135
00:05:22,344 --> 00:05:24,382
Does that say "chair" on it?
136
00:05:24,382 --> 00:05:26,386
I mean, do any chairs?
137
00:05:26,386 --> 00:05:27,656
I'm guessing
you're the A/V guy?
138
00:05:27,656 --> 00:05:30,426
No, I'm the A/V guy.
139
00:05:30,528 --> 00:05:32,999
I just did four weddings
back-to-back.
140
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,001
Lemme tell ya,
141
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,372
it was murder.
142
00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:37,542
[suspenseful music]
143
00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:39,011
Everybody dropping the mic
144
00:05:39,111 --> 00:05:41,951
at the end of their toasts.
145
00:05:41,951 --> 00:05:44,121
What if I came to your house
and dropped your baby
146
00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:46,292
on its head?
147
00:05:46,292 --> 00:05:47,996
That would be much worse.
148
00:05:47,996 --> 00:05:49,632
Agree to disagree.
149
00:05:49,632 --> 00:05:51,435
Where the hell have you been?
150
00:05:51,536 --> 00:05:53,674
I've been waiting
in the practice room!
151
00:05:53,674 --> 00:05:55,544
We're not actually
gonna practice.
152
00:05:55,544 --> 00:05:57,214
I thought
we were just lip-syncing.
153
00:05:57,214 --> 00:05:58,851
But it must be believable.
154
00:05:58,951 --> 00:06:00,855
Because if one person
does not believe
155
00:06:00,855 --> 00:06:03,326
we are a real band
playing cover songs,
156
00:06:03,426 --> 00:06:06,098
the entire operation
will be compromised!
157
00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:08,036
Now to the practice room.
158
00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:10,273
The work starts yesterday!
159
00:06:10,273 --> 00:06:13,581
[gasps] That was a day ago!
[chatter]
160
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,183
Let's keep an eye out
for anything suspicious.
161
00:06:15,317 --> 00:06:16,586
Or those tiny little
hamburgers.
162
00:06:16,586 --> 00:06:18,457
Oh, and this is
really important:
163
00:06:18,457 --> 00:06:19,826
make sure
you throw away the napkins,
164
00:06:19,826 --> 00:06:21,597
so they don't know how many
we've already had.
165
00:06:21,597 --> 00:06:23,835
By the way, I know I kind of
beefed it before,
166
00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:27,208
but I just have to relax
and not overthink it.
167
00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:29,078
I'll go get us some wine.
168
00:06:29,178 --> 00:06:30,581
No, that's how I walk.
169
00:06:30,581 --> 00:06:34,054
But how does
Teresa Smoothé walk?
170
00:06:34,054 --> 00:06:36,058
[soft music]
171
00:06:36,058 --> 00:06:38,196
♪
172
00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:41,335
Wow.
She is a tall drink of useless.
173
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:43,607
What the Helena Bonham Carter?
174
00:06:43,607 --> 00:06:47,180
So there I am, butt naked--
175
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:50,320
can you excuse me for a sec?
176
00:06:50,454 --> 00:06:52,491
- What are you doing here?
- Shh!
177
00:06:52,491 --> 00:06:54,495
I'm wedding crashing.
Like the movie.
178
00:06:54,495 --> 00:06:55,899
Like the movie?
I love the movie!
179
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,835
It's the perfect combination
of raunch and heart,
180
00:06:57,835 --> 00:06:59,471
with a tasteful amount
of nudity.
181
00:06:59,471 --> 00:07:00,774
But what are you doing here?
182
00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:03,379
I told you,
I'm wedding crashing.
183
00:07:03,479 --> 00:07:04,883
Like the movie.
- Yes, Harmony.
184
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,553
I loved it.
Weren't you listening?
185
00:07:06,553 --> 00:07:08,524
Vince Vaughn turns
in a tour de force performance,
186
00:07:08,624 --> 00:07:10,761
while Rachel McAdams
is the film's beating heart.
187
00:07:10,894 --> 00:07:13,232
Marvin,
I am wedding crashing.
188
00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:15,470
Here. At this current moment.
189
00:07:15,571 --> 00:07:17,642
Oh, like the movie.
190
00:07:17,776 --> 00:07:19,478
I love that movie.
[smacks lips]
191
00:07:19,478 --> 00:07:20,915
Wow, so this is
who you are now?
192
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:23,453
A lady who sneaks into
strangers' weddings for fun?
193
00:07:23,453 --> 00:07:25,792
Yes, Marvin.
I am, because I'm fun.
194
00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:28,029
I was the fun one
in our marriage.
195
00:07:28,129 --> 00:07:28,897
[scoffs] You?
196
00:07:28,897 --> 00:07:32,539
The fun one?
Marriage? In our? Was?
197
00:07:32,639 --> 00:07:34,543
[chuckles] Ha!
198
00:07:34,543 --> 00:07:36,813
I was the fun one.
- Oh, please. Look at you.
199
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,684
You can't even have fun
at a wedding.
200
00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,020
Oh, really?
I'll have so much fun
201
00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:42,124
at this wedding that when
people ask for my number--
202
00:07:42,124 --> 00:07:42,926
and they all will--
203
00:07:42,926 --> 00:07:44,294
they'll save it
in their phones
204
00:07:44,294 --> 00:07:45,631
as Funmaster Flex.
205
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,568
Oh, you wanna do this?
Let's do this.
206
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,305
Fun-petition begins now.
207
00:07:49,405 --> 00:07:51,175
And yes, that is
the more fun way
208
00:07:51,275 --> 00:07:52,477
to describe a fun competition.
209
00:07:52,477 --> 00:07:54,515
Wrong, competish-fun
is way better.
210
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:56,151
Point for me.
One-nothing.
211
00:07:56,251 --> 00:07:57,989
Ooh, make that two-nothing.
212
00:07:57,989 --> 00:07:58,824
[grunts]
213
00:07:58,958 --> 00:08:01,462
Oh, wow, my teeth
are having so much fun.
214
00:08:01,462 --> 00:08:03,032
[grimaces] And so is my brain.
[pop]
215
00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:06,139
Ooh, and now my dislocated knee
is too.
216
00:08:06,139 --> 00:08:07,141
Five-zip!
217
00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:08,710
I'm just funning up the score.
218
00:08:11,984 --> 00:08:13,687
[soft organ music]
219
00:08:13,787 --> 00:08:16,225
Harmony thinks she's the fun
one in our relationship?
220
00:08:16,225 --> 00:08:17,562
Well, then what's this?
221
00:08:17,662 --> 00:08:19,766
Would you cut it out?
We're undercover.
222
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,469
Which means
you don't know Harmony,
223
00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:22,772
and I'm about to get found out
224
00:08:22,872 --> 00:08:25,077
because I don't know
if Teresa Smoothé cries
225
00:08:25,077 --> 00:08:25,778
at weddings or not.
226
00:08:25,778 --> 00:08:29,720
I'll just split the difference.
227
00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:32,190
♪ ♪
228
00:08:32,190 --> 00:08:35,296
Too bad she doesn't look
absolutely perfect in that.
229
00:08:35,296 --> 00:08:37,034
[laughter]
- You're fun.
230
00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:37,802
Oh--oh yeah?
231
00:08:37,802 --> 00:08:39,071
Well, I think it's too bad
232
00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:43,714
she looks like
an absolute swamp monster.
233
00:08:43,714 --> 00:08:45,517
That guy's fun.
Life of the party.
234
00:08:45,517 --> 00:08:46,987
She does look like a monster.
235
00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:48,724
I think he meant that as a joke
to prove that he's fun.
236
00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:50,260
Well, I didn't.
She's hideous,
237
00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:51,261
and I'm going home to barf.
238
00:08:54,869 --> 00:08:56,105
Good evening, my children.
239
00:08:56,238 --> 00:08:58,744
I hope you're all prepared
to eat the body of Christ,
240
00:08:58,744 --> 00:08:59,947
drink the blood of Christ,
241
00:09:00,047 --> 00:09:02,317
and just generally welcome
a lot of Christ
242
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,121
into your digestive system.
243
00:09:04,221 --> 00:09:07,427
[Kool & the Gang's
"Celebration" playing]
244
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:10,233
♪
245
00:09:12,471 --> 00:09:14,710
You call that not playing?
246
00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:17,114
You might as well
really not be playing,
247
00:09:17,114 --> 00:09:21,088
if you're going to be
fake playing that bad!
248
00:09:21,088 --> 00:09:22,257
Summers?
249
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,294
Oh, sure thing, Maestro.
250
00:09:24,294 --> 00:09:27,301
Thank you.
251
00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:30,173
Is this a sting operation
252
00:09:30,173 --> 00:09:32,745
or a stink operation?
253
00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:35,751
Summers, how can
a computer not keep time?
254
00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:39,057
Wynona, your keyboard skills
are like your love life--
255
00:09:39,057 --> 00:09:40,460
nonexistent!
256
00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:43,500
And Kang,
tone down the raw sexuality!
257
00:09:43,601 --> 00:09:44,903
It's a triangle.
258
00:09:45,003 --> 00:09:48,877
I need the ding,
and all I'm getting is dong!
259
00:09:48,977 --> 00:09:50,514
Why do you think
I shroud myself
260
00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:52,383
in this oversized parka?
261
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,754
It's just safer for all of us.
262
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:57,260
Do any of you know what's
on the line here?
263
00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:58,630
Stopping a murderer?
264
00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:00,835
Starting the party!
265
00:10:00,935 --> 00:10:05,344
That is the wedding band's
sacred responsibility!
266
00:10:05,344 --> 00:10:06,513
[laughs] I'm sorry.
267
00:10:06,613 --> 00:10:10,020
Do you mind fetching me
one more?
268
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:12,525
Uh, this is for sitting,
though, right?
269
00:10:12,658 --> 00:10:14,929
Um.
270
00:10:14,929 --> 00:10:16,900
I know what
you're all wondering:
271
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:19,839
"Is Teresa Smoothé
left-handed or right?"
272
00:10:19,839 --> 00:10:22,778
Well, obviously there is
a very simple answer to that,
273
00:10:22,878 --> 00:10:24,682
which will fit perfectly
with everything you've seen
274
00:10:24,682 --> 00:10:27,688
from me so far.
275
00:10:27,788 --> 00:10:29,124
The wedding dinner
is the perfect place
276
00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:30,093
to get my fun on.
277
00:10:30,093 --> 00:10:31,797
Watch me start
a lively conversation
278
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,198
that'll take us
from a table of strangers
279
00:10:33,198 --> 00:10:35,938
to lifelong friends who summer
together on a gross lake.
280
00:10:36,038 --> 00:10:38,544
So harvesting fetal tissue
for stem cell research.
281
00:10:38,644 --> 00:10:41,517
How do we feel about that, huh?
Huh?
282
00:10:41,617 --> 00:10:43,854
[mic rings]
- Hi.
283
00:10:43,954 --> 00:10:45,991
So I'll keep it short,
'cause I know we all wanna see
284
00:10:46,092 --> 00:10:48,964
this guy out
on the dance floor.
285
00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:50,701
Can she do this?
Like, isn't this a violation
286
00:10:50,701 --> 00:10:51,836
of wedding laws?
287
00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:54,474
Just relax
and enjoy the dinner.
288
00:10:54,474 --> 00:10:57,748
Um, and my last rule
for a successful marriage--
289
00:10:57,848 --> 00:10:59,217
never go to bed angry,
290
00:10:59,217 --> 00:11:00,955
unless he doesn't let you
watch your shows.
291
00:11:01,055 --> 00:11:02,625
And she watches shows!
[laughs]
292
00:11:02,726 --> 00:11:05,731
I do!
[laughs] I love watching shows.
293
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,735
And we like
watching things too,
294
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:08,971
especially you two,
295
00:11:09,104 --> 00:11:10,841
finding each other
in law school,
296
00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:12,812
falling in love,
and becoming partners
297
00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:16,118
in the law firm
of Happily, Ever, and After.
298
00:11:16,118 --> 00:11:18,690
Oh, good thing I wore
this waterproof mascara.
299
00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:20,327
I didn't.
300
00:11:20,327 --> 00:11:22,732
Now let's party!
301
00:11:22,865 --> 00:11:24,702
[cheers and applause]
302
00:11:24,702 --> 00:11:27,776
[dark music]
303
00:11:27,876 --> 00:11:29,345
[Kool & the Gang's
"Celebration" playing]
304
00:11:29,445 --> 00:11:30,147
They're buying it!
305
00:11:30,414 --> 00:11:32,217
I guess all your physical
and mental abuse
306
00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:33,319
was justified.
307
00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:34,656
It was.
308
00:11:34,756 --> 00:11:36,292
Kang, please!
309
00:11:36,292 --> 00:11:38,095
There are children!
310
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:41,903
Hello, my child.
Anything you'd like to confess?
311
00:11:41,903 --> 00:11:43,607
I'm running a special
on murders.
312
00:11:43,607 --> 00:11:45,476
Klaren,
let's start a conga line.
313
00:11:45,577 --> 00:11:47,615
[laughing] Oh,
you're so fun!
314
00:11:47,615 --> 00:11:49,653
Don't you wanna join in
on the fun?
315
00:11:49,653 --> 00:11:50,988
[grunts] No thanks.
316
00:11:50,988 --> 00:11:52,625
I'm starting
a funner conga line
317
00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:53,760
where we hold
each other's butts.
318
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:55,797
Somebody grab my--ooh!
319
00:11:57,233 --> 00:11:58,837
One song left.
320
00:11:58,837 --> 00:12:02,277
Are you thinking
what I am thinking?
321
00:12:02,377 --> 00:12:03,179
Right then, lads!
322
00:12:03,279 --> 00:12:06,485
Let's tear
the bloody house down, yeah?
323
00:12:06,586 --> 00:12:09,358
["The Chicken Dance" playing]
324
00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:10,795
I know it's silly,
325
00:12:10,895 --> 00:12:12,163
but I've been dreaming
of this since I was a--
326
00:12:12,263 --> 00:12:13,633
- Out of the way, lovebirds!
- Hey!
327
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:14,936
- What the--
- Give it up, Flute.
328
00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:16,773
I'm clearly the fun one here.
329
00:12:16,873 --> 00:12:19,377
Uh, please, I've got fun
coming out of my pores.
330
00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:20,781
Those are just blackheads.
331
00:12:20,881 --> 00:12:23,119
Which are way more fun
to pop than whiteheads.
332
00:12:23,219 --> 00:12:24,388
Faster!
333
00:12:24,523 --> 00:12:26,527
[song speeds up]
334
00:12:26,627 --> 00:12:27,795
- Just quit.
- I won't quit
335
00:12:27,795 --> 00:12:29,665
until Stan has
to bury one of us.
336
00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:30,901
You'll never finish
at this pace.
337
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:32,204
Maybe you forgot,
but in our marriage,
338
00:12:32,204 --> 00:12:33,641
you were the one
who never finished.
339
00:12:33,641 --> 00:12:34,809
I always did.
- I don't think
340
00:12:34,909 --> 00:12:36,078
that's something to brag about.
341
00:12:36,078 --> 00:12:38,650
Probably, but chickens
are not that smart.
342
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:40,921
[clucking]
343
00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:42,791
Are you--oh, my--
you're flying!
344
00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:44,328
I am flying. And you stopped.
345
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:47,233
I beat you, and gravity,
and probably evolution.
346
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,404
And--and I don't know how
to land this thing.
347
00:12:49,505 --> 00:12:50,607
Oh. Uh, somebody help me.
348
00:12:50,607 --> 00:12:52,143
I'm gonna crash!
349
00:12:52,243 --> 00:12:53,947
[thud]
350
00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:56,987
[cheers and applause]
351
00:12:56,987 --> 00:13:01,261
We'll be right back
after a quick break.
352
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,168
Let's talk to the bartender,
353
00:13:04,168 --> 00:13:06,038
see what he knows about
these murders.
354
00:13:06,038 --> 00:13:07,942
[laughs] You're incredible!
355
00:13:07,942 --> 00:13:10,080
I've never seen
a better lip-sync band.
356
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,816
And I should know,
because I've been lip-syncing
357
00:13:11,816 --> 00:13:13,452
this whole time.
358
00:13:13,452 --> 00:13:14,254
[goofy voice] Sign here.
359
00:13:14,254 --> 00:13:16,125
I'll take you to the top
of the charts.
360
00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:17,962
This is what
we've been working towards
361
00:13:17,962 --> 00:13:20,400
our entire afternoon!
362
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,974
There's no way
it can all come crashing down.
363
00:13:24,074 --> 00:13:25,677
Can I have your autograph?
364
00:13:25,677 --> 00:13:27,080
Uh, right here.
365
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,249
Stay away
from my future husband,
366
00:13:28,249 --> 00:13:30,019
if I ever get the courage
to tell him!
367
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,857
Shirley Temple.
Make it a double.
368
00:13:31,857 --> 00:13:32,958
Haven't you had enough?
369
00:13:32,958 --> 00:13:35,931
You work for me!
370
00:13:38,570 --> 00:13:40,740
Kang, the camera loves you.
371
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,076
Why don't you come
to the front?
372
00:13:42,076 --> 00:13:44,749
So now he is the front man?
373
00:13:44,749 --> 00:13:46,853
We're just Kang and the Gang?
374
00:13:46,853 --> 00:13:49,024
I quit.
- Meet your son.
375
00:13:49,124 --> 00:13:51,830
He's got your lack of a smile
and your outerwear.
376
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:52,865
Call my lawyer.
377
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:53,867
He'll set you up with an NDA
378
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:54,902
and a college fund.
379
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,640
Let him have his fun.
380
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,842
I'm too busy with my brand.
381
00:13:57,942 --> 00:13:59,578
I've gone viral.
382
00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:00,981
[slurring] This is my family.
383
00:14:00,981 --> 00:14:04,154
My aunt Shirley.
My uncle Temple.
384
00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:08,029
You have replaced me
with Gerard Way?
385
00:14:08,029 --> 00:14:09,397
Maybe there's room
for two front men.
386
00:14:09,497 --> 00:14:14,241
No, we either do it my way
or the Gerard Way.
387
00:14:14,341 --> 00:14:15,376
Exactly.
388
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:16,145
Let's go!
389
00:14:16,145 --> 00:14:18,282
We're back from our break.
390
00:14:18,282 --> 00:14:21,254
Who's ready
to "Cha Cha Slide"?
391
00:14:23,158 --> 00:14:25,029
You know, one day we're gonna
look back on this and laugh.
392
00:14:25,129 --> 00:14:27,167
Probably because
of something I said or did,
393
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,237
because I clearly won
the fun-petition.
394
00:14:29,237 --> 00:14:31,308
Uh, not if I catch
this thing.
395
00:14:31,409 --> 00:14:33,514
Everybody loves
the bouquet catcher.
396
00:14:33,514 --> 00:14:36,519
[mysterious music]
397
00:14:36,519 --> 00:14:37,755
You got this.
398
00:14:37,755 --> 00:14:39,224
Don't even waste a second
thinking about
399
00:14:39,324 --> 00:14:41,629
how you screwed up
everything else so far.
400
00:14:41,629 --> 00:14:43,198
Oh, God, the bouquet toss!
401
00:14:43,198 --> 00:14:45,336
Ooh, somebody's getting
nervous he's about to lose.
402
00:14:45,336 --> 00:14:47,340
I'm serious.
You can't catch it.
403
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:50,313
Wait, this isn't about
the fun-petition at all, is it?
404
00:14:50,313 --> 00:14:52,618
[gasps] You're afraid
I'll get married again.
405
00:14:52,618 --> 00:14:54,220
What? No, there's a mur--
406
00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:55,957
wait, would you get married
again?
407
00:14:55,957 --> 00:14:57,828
I mean, yeah.
Eventually.
408
00:14:57,828 --> 00:14:59,364
- To someone other than me?
- Yes.
409
00:14:59,464 --> 00:15:02,203
- Before I die?
- Based on your diet, maybe.
410
00:15:02,303 --> 00:15:04,509
And what, he and I will
share the basement?
411
00:15:04,609 --> 00:15:07,213
What? No. He'll sleep in
my bedroom, and you'd move on.
412
00:15:07,313 --> 00:15:08,917
What, did you think
you were gonna live
413
00:15:08,917 --> 00:15:10,186
in my basement forever?
414
00:15:10,186 --> 00:15:12,056
What? No.
It's not like I just put
415
00:15:12,056 --> 00:15:13,727
a non-refundable deposit
towards building
416
00:15:13,827 --> 00:15:15,196
a breakfast nook
in the basement.
417
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:18,102
Oh, my God, Stan's college fund
is even more gone.
418
00:15:18,236 --> 00:15:20,941
Good luck.
Here's to true love.
419
00:15:20,941 --> 00:15:23,947
[cheering]
420
00:15:23,947 --> 00:15:26,620
[tense music]
421
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:28,690
- [gasps]
- [grunts]
422
00:15:28,690 --> 00:15:29,825
[guests screaming]
423
00:15:29,825 --> 00:15:31,830
[dramatic music]
424
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:34,000
[barks]
425
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,073
[gasps] Oh!
426
00:15:37,073 --> 00:15:39,110
Harmony caught the bouquet.
427
00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:41,849
That means she's gonna suffer
the worst fate imaginable.
428
00:15:41,949 --> 00:15:43,820
Oh, you mean get married?
429
00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:45,222
Ba dum tss.
430
00:15:45,222 --> 00:15:47,694
No, but she is in a lot
of danger.
431
00:15:51,736 --> 00:15:53,741
Here's your vodka bread bowl.
432
00:15:53,741 --> 00:15:54,876
It's the perfect drink,
433
00:15:54,976 --> 00:15:56,980
'cause the bread soaks up
the alcohol twice.
434
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,249
[groans] I can't believe
435
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,518
Harmony's next in line
to get murdered
436
00:15:59,518 --> 00:16:01,656
and married--
neither of which sound fun,
437
00:16:01,756 --> 00:16:02,958
and yet she still beat me.
438
00:16:02,958 --> 00:16:05,997
[slurps] No,
I'm the real loser here.
439
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,737
I thought I could be back
in the field, but I choked.
440
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,373
If I was a better pastor,
441
00:16:10,373 --> 00:16:12,512
the murderer would have
already confessed to me.
442
00:16:12,512 --> 00:16:15,517
I wish I could choke
on something and die.
443
00:16:15,617 --> 00:16:19,024
That's how a musician
is supposed to leave the band!
444
00:16:19,024 --> 00:16:20,894
Speaking of dying,
445
00:16:20,994 --> 00:16:22,029
who's watching Harmony?
446
00:16:22,129 --> 00:16:24,602
[all gasp]
- Oh, God, Harmony!
447
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:30,013
Ugh, so tasty,
but so structurally unsound.
448
00:16:30,113 --> 00:16:31,783
I heard
there's an after-party.
449
00:16:31,883 --> 00:16:32,952
We have to go.
450
00:16:32,952 --> 00:16:34,922
Maybe you'll meet
your future husband!
451
00:16:34,922 --> 00:16:36,192
You're not going anywhere.
452
00:16:36,325 --> 00:16:37,661
I've been looking for you.
453
00:16:37,762 --> 00:16:39,030
You're gonna pay.
454
00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:41,503
Bocka brebbull.
455
00:16:41,503 --> 00:16:42,904
[grunts]
456
00:16:43,005 --> 00:16:45,043
[gasps] I did
something undercover!
457
00:16:45,176 --> 00:16:47,614
And I won another award.
458
00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:48,750
She's gonna pay!
459
00:16:48,850 --> 00:16:50,052
Seems like they got this.
460
00:16:50,152 --> 00:16:51,355
Come on.
We should get outta here.
461
00:16:51,355 --> 00:16:54,028
See you at the after-party,
I guess.
462
00:16:54,028 --> 00:16:55,564
What is going on?
463
00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:59,203
Aren't you guys a wedding band,
a normal couple, and a pastor?
464
00:16:59,203 --> 00:17:00,941
And which one of you
is paying me?
465
00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:02,243
- Paying you?
- Yeah.
466
00:17:02,243 --> 00:17:05,985
The blonde speech lady made
a big show and dented my mic.
467
00:17:06,085 --> 00:17:07,622
Now I gotta get a replacement.
468
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:10,861
I just can't stand wedding
crashers like those two,
469
00:17:10,961 --> 00:17:12,665
coming in here--
- Those two?
470
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,467
No. Klaren's a guest.
471
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,708
[scoffs] Yeah,
and I'm an IT guy.
472
00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:21,716
That woman's crashed the past
four weddings I've worked.
473
00:17:21,816 --> 00:17:23,418
[tense music]
474
00:17:24,555 --> 00:17:27,260
Finally. [sighs]
It's just me and--
475
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,530
Commandeering this vehicle.
476
00:17:28,530 --> 00:17:31,836
We're all detectives, and we're
also all too drunk to drive.
477
00:17:31,936 --> 00:17:33,807
What?
Aren't you guys the band?
478
00:17:33,907 --> 00:17:35,142
[scoffs] We were.
479
00:17:35,242 --> 00:17:37,247
But then we let our egos get
in the way.
480
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,119
And learned that sometimes,
when you hit play,
481
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:41,454
it's hard to hit stop.
482
00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:44,127
We would have loved
this limo back in the day.
483
00:17:44,127 --> 00:17:46,365
Way back when, 40 minutes ago.
484
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:49,938
It is better
to have rocked and lost
485
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:52,645
than never to have rolled
at all.
486
00:17:52,645 --> 00:17:56,084
Wait, does this mean
you weren't even a real pastor?
487
00:17:56,185 --> 00:17:58,088
You really thought
I was a pastor?
488
00:17:58,188 --> 00:18:00,861
Only because you told us
you were!
489
00:18:00,861 --> 00:18:02,731
Oh, bless you both.
490
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,067
[ominous music]
491
00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:06,271
[laughs] No, you lose.
492
00:18:06,372 --> 00:18:09,077
You made a face.
- You made a face too.
493
00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:11,014
[laughs] You're so fun.
494
00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:12,718
That's what I've been saying.
495
00:18:12,718 --> 00:18:13,987
Oh, man.
496
00:18:13,987 --> 00:18:16,024
It sucks we can't
hang out anymore.
497
00:18:16,124 --> 00:18:17,861
- Why not?
- 'Cause I'm not some weirdo
498
00:18:17,861 --> 00:18:19,163
who hangs out with corpses.
499
00:18:19,163 --> 00:18:21,134
Whoa. Oh, whoops.
Skipped a step.
500
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,238
I meant to tell you,
I have to kill you.
501
00:18:23,238 --> 00:18:25,143
[gasps] Wait, is this
a new drinking game?
502
00:18:25,143 --> 00:18:26,244
Let me find a knife too.
Okay.
503
00:18:26,344 --> 00:18:27,882
Uh, will a spoon work?
504
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,017
This isn't a game.
505
00:18:29,117 --> 00:18:30,554
This is my chance
at happiness,
506
00:18:30,654 --> 00:18:33,258
and you ruined it
by catching that bouquet.
507
00:18:33,258 --> 00:18:35,129
I'm supposed
to get married next.
508
00:18:35,129 --> 00:18:36,565
I subscribe
to all the magazines.
509
00:18:36,666 --> 00:18:38,269
I've been a bridesmaid
so many times,
510
00:18:38,269 --> 00:18:41,341
I have 27 dresses.
Like the movie.
511
00:18:41,441 --> 00:18:43,312
Like the movie?
Duh, I loved it.
512
00:18:43,312 --> 00:18:44,882
It's Katherine Heigl
at her most charming.
513
00:18:44,982 --> 00:18:46,318
But please don't kill me!
514
00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:49,424
I've gone to every wedding
in town trying to catch one,
515
00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:52,798
but there's always someone
like you who steals my bouquet,
516
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:56,405
someone who's gonna have
my wedding, my perfect life!
517
00:18:56,405 --> 00:19:00,079
I'm tired of losing.
It's my turn to win!
518
00:19:00,179 --> 00:19:01,448
Stop.
519
00:19:01,549 --> 00:19:04,087
Harmony didn't
catch the bouquet.
520
00:19:04,187 --> 00:19:06,926
Yes, she did.
I was there. I saw it.
521
00:19:06,926 --> 00:19:08,295
You saw her catch a bouquet.
522
00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:09,297
But what you didn't know was
523
00:19:09,297 --> 00:19:11,569
that the pastor
wasn't licensed.
524
00:19:11,569 --> 00:19:14,140
She's an undercover officer,
which means--
525
00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:15,744
Which means their marriage
wasn't official,
526
00:19:15,844 --> 00:19:18,517
so the bouquet was devoid
of all matrimonial magic.
527
00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:20,320
Exactly.
But this one is real.
528
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,090
I am a licensed officiant.
529
00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:24,160
So I started the ceremony
on the way over,
530
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,496
and it's time to wrap it up.
531
00:19:25,496 --> 00:19:29,939
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
532
00:19:30,039 --> 00:19:31,876
Pentos.
533
00:19:31,876 --> 00:19:33,346
[dramatic beat]
- No!
534
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:35,216
I forgot the tape player!
535
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,686
This might be crazy,
536
00:19:36,686 --> 00:19:40,092
but what if we actually
played our instruments?
537
00:19:40,192 --> 00:19:43,231
It just might work!
538
00:19:43,231 --> 00:19:46,204
[strange "Bridal Chorus"
rendition]
539
00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:48,777
Bouquet toss.
540
00:19:48,777 --> 00:19:53,319
♪
541
00:19:53,319 --> 00:19:56,559
I did it!
I'm gonna get married!
542
00:19:56,659 --> 00:19:59,230
Where you're going,
orange is the new white.
543
00:19:59,330 --> 00:20:00,800
I'll be honest, I came up with
that in the car.
544
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,506
I had one in the ball and chain
area, but it felt too obvious.
545
00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:04,942
And I would have had more,
but those two
546
00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:06,211
were yapping the whole time.
547
00:20:06,211 --> 00:20:08,382
- We were doing our vows.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
548
00:20:08,382 --> 00:20:10,854
Oh, and you look radiant,
by the way.
549
00:20:10,954 --> 00:20:12,223
[triumphant music]
550
00:20:12,223 --> 00:20:13,893
♪
551
00:20:13,893 --> 00:20:18,636
Hey, I guess you saved
my life or whatever, so thanks.
552
00:20:18,736 --> 00:20:21,040
Just doing my job
as a detective
553
00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:22,476
and an ex-husband
who would hate
554
00:20:22,476 --> 00:20:23,647
to see anything happen to you.
555
00:20:23,747 --> 00:20:25,884
You know,
after watching the twisted way
556
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,053
Klaren treated marriage,
557
00:20:27,153 --> 00:20:28,289
I realized we've been looking
558
00:20:28,289 --> 00:20:29,525
at our divorce wrong.
559
00:20:29,625 --> 00:20:32,263
We don't need to be so comp--
- Competitive!
560
00:20:32,363 --> 00:20:35,168
We said it at the same time,
so it's a tie.
561
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:37,240
And it wasn't much
of a competition.
562
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,377
You always were the fun one.
563
00:20:39,377 --> 00:20:41,549
You win.
- Hey, we're both winners,
564
00:20:41,549 --> 00:20:43,786
because at least
we're not married.
565
00:20:43,886 --> 00:20:45,523
[both laugh]
566
00:20:45,523 --> 00:20:47,393
When I'm right,
I'm right, you know?
567
00:20:47,393 --> 00:20:49,665
- Ours will be different.
- Talk to us in two years.
568
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,569
Uh, pro tip:
don't have a kid.
569
00:20:51,569 --> 00:20:53,773
Locks you in way longer
than you need to be there.
570
00:20:53,773 --> 00:20:56,211
[both laugh]
571
00:20:56,311 --> 00:20:58,182
Ahh.
572
00:20:58,282 --> 00:20:59,751
Where is Stan?
573
00:21:03,458 --> 00:21:06,431
Klaren, are you reading
more wedding magazines?
574
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,069
Well, it's coming up.
575
00:21:08,069 --> 00:21:09,304
Somebody's gotta plan it.
576
00:21:09,304 --> 00:21:11,174
I'm thinking barn style.
577
00:21:11,174 --> 00:21:13,245
Like, mason jars instead
of wine glasses.
578
00:21:13,245 --> 00:21:15,249
Oh, and wedding bands
made of twine.
579
00:21:15,249 --> 00:21:16,284
Look.
580
00:21:16,284 --> 00:21:18,088
Oh, I love it.
581
00:21:18,088 --> 00:21:19,157
Now can you tell me again about
582
00:21:19,257 --> 00:21:20,561
the chicken man at the wedding?
583
00:21:20,561 --> 00:21:22,430
Why do you always ask me
about that?
584
00:21:22,430 --> 00:21:24,434
There was a man who did
the chicken dance so hard
585
00:21:24,434 --> 00:21:27,172
that he flew, duh.
586
00:21:27,273 --> 00:21:28,943
Delusions resistant
to treatment.
587
00:21:28,943 --> 00:21:29,912
Increase dosage.
588
00:21:30,012 --> 00:21:31,047
Also get mason jars.
589
00:21:31,047 --> 00:21:32,383
Could be fun.
590
00:21:36,091 --> 00:21:37,794
Bento.
42765
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