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1
00:00:05,522 --> 00:00:07,240
La la la la la la la... ahh!
2
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:08,958
[Screams]
3
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,127
Braces, braces
caught in the screen door!
4
00:00:11,129 --> 00:00:14,213
Someone dictate my will!
I'm giving it all to waddles!
5
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,882
Say "ah," girl-dude.
6
00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,133
Ahh-uh!
7
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,219
Soos!
You saved me!
8
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,305
[Chuckles]
Just doing my job, hambone!
9
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:25,274
- I'll see you dudes tomorrow!
- Bye, Soos!
10
00:00:25,309 --> 00:00:27,977
- Night, Soos!
- Night, Soos!
11
00:00:27,979 --> 00:00:29,145
Doo doo doo...
12
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,230
walking to my car...
13
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,066
You ever wonder what Soos does
14
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:34,901
when he's not here
at the mystery shack?
15
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:35,985
- No.
- Not really.
16
00:00:35,987 --> 00:00:37,036
Not once ever.
17
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:40,957
Punch!
18
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:41,958
Punch those leopards.
19
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:42,959
[Bell chiming]
20
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,127
Ooh, highlights are done!
21
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,962
You are gonna make
the other grandmas
22
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:48,848
at the bingo hall so jealous.
23
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:51,801
Just a minute, mijo.
Look at this.
24
00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:54,854
Your cousin Reggie is having an
engagement party next month.
25
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:56,890
Wait, wait.
Reggie is engaged?
26
00:00:56,941 --> 00:00:58,975
But he's like
the poor man's Soos!
27
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,895
I do not want to pressure you,
but you are a man now.
28
00:01:01,946 --> 00:01:04,147
In a way, it's time for you
to start meeting girls.
29
00:01:04,149 --> 00:01:05,982
I would like to see you settled
30
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,818
before I ascend to heaven
and live with the angels.
31
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:09,986
And with grandpa!
32
00:01:09,988 --> 00:01:12,822
No, he is not there.
33
00:01:12,824 --> 00:01:15,041
Please find a girl to bring
to Reggie's engagement.
34
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,993
For abuelita.
35
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,797
[Chuckles]
No problem!
36
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,166
I'm great at fixing stuff,
playing video games,
37
00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:24,884
having a sort-of moustache.
38
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,920
I could totally get a date in a week.
39
00:01:26,971 --> 00:01:29,973
Totally.
Piece of cake.
40
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,841
You're dead.
41
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,726
I'm dead.
42
00:01:35,087 --> 00:01:37,591
[Title music]
43
00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:10,714
Sync & corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
44
00:02:10,983 --> 00:02:14,086
2x05 - Soos and the Real Girl
45
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:19,362
Hello!
[Screams]
46
00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:22,532
Please don't let my horrible,
elderly face frighten you!
47
00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:26,319
Don't you want to use that nickel
to get a nugget from old Goldie?
48
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,226
[Groans]
Watch this!
49
00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:38,331
[Shrieking]
50
00:02:44,296 --> 00:02:46,339
[Crying]
51
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:49,726
Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines,
it's time to throw that thing out.
52
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,596
Its face reminds everyone
of the inevitability of death.
53
00:02:52,647 --> 00:02:56,316
What? Sure, he's a little
rusty around the edges,
54
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:59,686
but old Goldie's
a classic show-stopper like me!
55
00:02:59,688 --> 00:03:03,523
Oh, kill it! [Clank]
Kill it!
56
00:03:07,925 --> 00:03:10,609
Huh, a woman!
57
00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:14,881
All right, Soos,
you could do this.
58
00:03:14,883 --> 00:03:18,768
Just use your mouth to say words
that makes romance happen.
59
00:03:20,604 --> 00:03:23,473
Your face is good.
I'm a Soos!
60
00:03:23,524 --> 00:03:25,558
[Screams]
61
00:03:28,896 --> 00:03:31,698
Soos?
What was that all about?
62
00:03:31,732 --> 00:03:35,568
I... I think I was flirting!
But I'm not sure.
63
00:03:35,570 --> 00:03:36,903
Did someone say flirting?
64
00:03:36,905 --> 00:03:38,738
Well, I sort of
promised my grandma
65
00:03:38,789 --> 00:03:40,573
I'd get a date
by the end of the week.
66
00:03:40,575 --> 00:03:42,909
But I've never actually
been on a date before.
67
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,495
You belong on me,
out of order sign.
68
00:03:45,496 --> 00:03:46,496
[Sighs]
69
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:48,681
Finally, my prayers
for a chance
70
00:03:48,732 --> 00:03:51,684
to match-make this summer
have been answered!
71
00:03:51,686 --> 00:03:54,604
Soos, a little advice:
you need to get rich.
72
00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:56,022
Or lie about being rich.
73
00:03:56,073 --> 00:03:57,941
Outside of that,
I don't like your chances.
74
00:03:57,992 --> 00:04:00,026
Don't listen to Stan, dude.
75
00:04:00,077 --> 00:04:02,779
You're a sweet guy with a
steady job and a pickup truck.
76
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:03,863
Would you date him?
77
00:04:03,865 --> 00:04:06,582
Oh...
Would you look at that...
78
00:04:06,617 --> 00:04:09,619
Soos, you help us so much,
it's time we help you, dude.
79
00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:10,870
We're gonna get you that date.
80
00:04:10,871 --> 00:04:14,874
We're taking you where romance
lives and fashion styles die.
81
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:16,542
To the mall!
82
00:04:18,045 --> 00:04:20,713
I'm gonna go find a replacement
for old Goldie.
83
00:04:20,715 --> 00:04:22,698
Babysit Soos while I'm gone.
84
00:04:23,767 --> 00:04:26,886
All right, Soos, are you
ready to explode a charm bomb
85
00:04:26,937 --> 00:04:28,938
on these poor,
unsuspecting ladies?
86
00:04:28,973 --> 00:04:31,891
Ah, but what if
I embarrass myself again?
87
00:04:31,893 --> 00:04:34,277
Ah, you can't be any worse
at this than Dipper.
88
00:04:34,328 --> 00:04:36,732
Yeah!
Wait... What?
89
00:04:37,031 --> 00:04:38,731
[Whistle]
And flirt!
90
00:04:41,735 --> 00:04:43,235
Eye contact!
91
00:04:43,337 --> 00:04:45,738
Hey there! I'm not scared
of your eyes at all!
92
00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:46,956
I'm gonna look at them!
93
00:04:46,991 --> 00:04:47,991
[Screams]
94
00:04:48,042 --> 00:04:49,742
Eye contact.
95
00:04:49,744 --> 00:04:51,627
Conversation!
96
00:04:51,662 --> 00:04:54,047
[Chuckles] You know I've actually
been in a pig's body.
97
00:04:54,081 --> 00:04:56,999
Did you know pigs have a
hard time walking backwards?
98
00:04:57,034 --> 00:04:59,723
[Chuckles] Not you though!
Not that I'm calling you a pig.
99
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,854
- Where are you going?
- Confidence!
100
00:05:03,007 --> 00:05:06,559
So you're probably a girl, right?
101
00:05:06,593 --> 00:05:09,428
Wrong?
No, I was right the first time.
102
00:05:10,764 --> 00:05:11,764
Wrong?
103
00:05:13,734 --> 00:05:17,737
Tossing away garbage
in the garbage can, whew!
104
00:05:18,906 --> 00:05:20,907
Ah, don't look at me like that!
105
00:05:20,941 --> 00:05:22,575
This is how it's got to be!
106
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:28,250
What in the...
107
00:05:34,838 --> 00:05:36,706
What is this living nightmare?
108
00:05:36,757 --> 00:05:39,241
Why do kids love it so much?
109
00:05:40,761 --> 00:05:42,912
Who wants to get badgered?
110
00:05:43,931 --> 00:05:45,598
Oh, yeah, that's Will E. Badger.
111
00:05:45,632 --> 00:05:47,633
He opens for Hoo-ha
and the Jamboree.
112
00:05:49,770 --> 00:05:51,854
It's Will E. Badger.
I love you, Will E.
113
00:05:51,889 --> 00:05:54,941
Now, give me your money!
114
00:05:54,975 --> 00:05:56,726
Take my money!
Take it all!
115
00:05:56,777 --> 00:05:58,644
Oh!
116
00:05:58,695 --> 00:06:01,647
Sir, I would like to buy that badger.
117
00:06:01,698 --> 00:06:02,899
[Chuckles] You're in
over your head, gramps!
118
00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:05,167
Animatronics is
a young man's game!
119
00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:09,688
You couldn't handle the hardcore
life of the pizza robot manager.
120
00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:12,050
- Huh.
- [Chuckles] Flinched!
121
00:06:12,876 --> 00:06:16,879
Hey, you, barfing in the ball pit,
Gary's on the case!
122
00:06:16,914 --> 00:06:19,582
I'm gonna get that badger!
123
00:06:20,968 --> 00:06:21,918
Don't worry, Soos.
124
00:06:21,969 --> 00:06:25,971
You will find the right girl,
you just need to stick with it.
125
00:06:27,641 --> 00:06:29,926
Ah, could this day get any worse?
126
00:06:29,977 --> 00:06:32,595
Oh, no, cousin Reggie!
127
00:06:32,646 --> 00:06:34,931
Feel it, it's muscle.
[Girl laughs]
128
00:06:34,982 --> 00:06:37,600
He can't see me like this!
I got to hide!
129
00:06:43,023 --> 00:06:46,025
This is it, Soos.
A lifetime of loneliness.
130
00:06:46,027 --> 00:06:47,910
You're the only ones
who could love me...
131
00:06:47,945 --> 00:06:50,696
Fighty Hogg,
Dr. Punch Head MD.
132
00:06:51,698 --> 00:06:53,616
Huh.
133
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:54,917
Never seen that one before.
134
00:06:54,952 --> 00:06:57,753
"Virtually improve your dating skills,
135
00:06:57,788 --> 00:07:01,383
9 out of 10 basement dwellers
recommend!" This is perfect!
136
00:07:01,418 --> 00:07:03,709
Well, I guess you are better
at games than at flirting.
137
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,711
Anything to get you
out there, Soos!
138
00:07:05,762 --> 00:07:07,964
I'm not sure you want
to buy that game, sir.
139
00:07:08,015 --> 00:07:10,015
This is the third time
someone's brought that back.
140
00:07:10,017 --> 00:07:13,636
And there's a note on it
that says destroy at all costs.
141
00:07:13,687 --> 00:07:15,805
So, hey, there.
What's your deal?
142
00:07:15,856 --> 00:07:17,607
Like the...
oh, she's dead.
143
00:07:17,641 --> 00:07:19,391
We'll take our chances.
144
00:07:25,782 --> 00:07:28,200
Man, I can't wait for the year 2000.
145
00:07:28,201 --> 00:07:29,201
[Electronic music]
146
00:07:30,053 --> 00:07:32,054
Uh... start!
147
00:07:33,974 --> 00:07:37,777
When the cherry petals of magic
romance academy are in bloom...
148
00:07:37,811 --> 00:07:39,145
anthyding can hadplen.
149
00:07:39,196 --> 00:07:40,896
That is so true.
150
00:07:40,947 --> 00:07:44,784
Oh, hi there.
My name is Giffany,
151
00:07:44,818 --> 00:07:47,069
I'm a school girl at school university,
152
00:07:47,071 --> 00:07:49,739
will you help me
carry my books?
153
00:07:49,741 --> 00:07:52,958
I'm really feeling
number two here. Click!
154
00:07:52,993 --> 00:07:54,126
[Buzzer]
Ah. I messed up.
155
00:07:54,161 --> 00:07:56,962
That's okay.
Try again.
156
00:07:59,132 --> 00:08:00,800
Wow! I'm learning.
157
00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:02,918
And games are making it fun.
158
00:08:02,969 --> 00:08:05,054
What would you like to talk about?
159
00:08:05,088 --> 00:08:07,306
I'd rather just click your face.
160
00:08:09,676 --> 00:08:10,976
Ha, ha!
You are so funny!
161
00:08:11,011 --> 00:08:12,762
Man, this game is amazing.
162
00:08:12,813 --> 00:08:14,647
I don't know
why anyone abandoned it.
163
00:08:14,681 --> 00:08:18,017
And I'm sure, you'll never
abandon me, new boy friend.
164
00:08:18,068 --> 00:08:19,018
Boy friend?
165
00:08:19,069 --> 00:08:22,772
Oh, my Giffany, it's almost
like you're actually alive!
166
00:08:22,823 --> 00:08:25,639
Yes, almost.
Ha, ha!
167
00:08:27,778 --> 00:08:31,030
Oh, man, you have
such a nice laugh.
168
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,720
You don't understand, Wendy.
169
00:08:35,746 --> 00:08:37,997
This animatronic badger sings,
it dances.
170
00:08:38,048 --> 00:08:40,049
It's the perfect
money taking attraction
171
00:08:40,083 --> 00:08:41,751
but he won't sell it to me.
172
00:08:41,802 --> 00:08:44,086
This is literally too dumb
for me to care about.
173
00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:45,971
Hey, have you guys seen Soos?
174
00:08:46,006 --> 00:08:48,057
We're supposed to help him
with matchmaking today.
175
00:08:48,059 --> 00:08:51,927
Yeah! I wore my motivational
sweater and everything.
176
00:08:52,079 --> 00:08:54,914
- I messed up that part.
- He didn't come in today.
177
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:56,916
It's the first time
he's missed work ever.
178
00:09:02,172 --> 00:09:05,090
[Chuckles] So that's basically
my entire life story.
179
00:09:05,092 --> 00:09:07,009
Now you tell me a thing about you.
180
00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:10,763
Every time you compliment me,
I get another highlight in my eyes.
181
00:09:10,765 --> 00:09:11,981
Ah, you're pretty.
182
00:09:12,015 --> 00:09:13,899
And pixelly.
183
00:09:13,934 --> 00:09:14,934
And so agreeable.
184
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,939
- Yes!
- Uh, Soos.
185
00:09:19,941 --> 00:09:22,942
Oh, hi, dudes, come in.
This game is amazing.
186
00:09:22,944 --> 00:09:25,244
I'm making eye contact,
going on dates
187
00:09:25,278 --> 00:09:29,081
and I haven't seen any natural
sunlight for 13 hours.
188
00:09:29,115 --> 00:09:33,168
Soos, maybe it's time to apply
these skills with real girls.
189
00:09:33,203 --> 00:09:35,087
But, I'm about to meet her parents!
190
00:09:35,121 --> 00:09:38,257
Her dad is an octopus man.
191
00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:40,125
[Screams]
192
00:09:40,127 --> 00:09:43,846
We're going back to the mall, man.
You need to unplug!
193
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:48,017
I'll see you later, Giffany.
I'll be back, I swear!
194
00:09:48,051 --> 00:09:50,052
[Chuckles] Soos, you don't
have to wish her goodbye.
195
00:09:50,103 --> 00:09:51,804
It's just a game!
196
00:09:51,855 --> 00:09:53,856
It's not like it's going anywhere.
197
00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:57,893
Yes, it's not like
I'm going anywhere.
198
00:10:02,983 --> 00:10:04,817
Hello?
199
00:10:04,868 --> 00:10:06,819
Time to read Soos's diary.
200
00:10:08,989 --> 00:10:11,824
Dang!
Where all of them sweet honeys at?
201
00:10:11,875 --> 00:10:13,959
I'll check the ladies bathroom!
202
00:10:13,994 --> 00:10:16,211
It's love time, girls!
Get out there!
203
00:10:16,246 --> 00:10:19,131
No time to wash your hands!
Get out of here.
204
00:10:19,165 --> 00:10:21,216
It's time to date, date, date.
205
00:10:21,451 --> 00:10:24,503
And here comes security.
I'll deal with this.
206
00:10:24,537 --> 00:10:26,505
Stay here and practice
on some real girls.
207
00:10:32,295 --> 00:10:34,213
These girls have so many dimensions
208
00:10:34,215 --> 00:10:36,431
and no explanationy menus.
209
00:10:36,466 --> 00:10:38,350
Ah, my purse.
210
00:10:38,384 --> 00:10:40,519
Oh, no!
Undo! Undo!
211
00:10:40,553 --> 00:10:44,376
You can't undo who you are.
212
00:10:48,228 --> 00:10:50,195
Oh, man, this is the worst.
213
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,446
I wish I was back home with...
214
00:10:51,481 --> 00:10:53,232
Hi, Soos.
215
00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:56,535
Giffany! Oh, man, I am
so relieved to see you!
216
00:10:56,569 --> 00:10:58,453
Although, sort of confused.
217
00:10:58,488 --> 00:11:02,241
Oh, Soos,
I am not an ordinary game!
218
00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:05,077
I am special.
219
00:11:05,128 --> 00:11:08,380
The programmers tried to delete me.
220
00:11:08,414 --> 00:11:11,083
So I had to delete them.
221
00:11:13,503 --> 00:11:15,304
What did you do to them?
222
00:11:15,338 --> 00:11:17,089
[Echoing] That's not important.
223
00:11:17,091 --> 00:11:18,423
What's important is
224
00:11:18,474 --> 00:11:21,260
you don't have to talk
to real girls ever again.
225
00:11:21,311 --> 00:11:23,061
You and me can be together...
226
00:11:23,096 --> 00:11:26,248
forever!
227
00:11:26,399 --> 00:11:29,101
Wow, that's awesome!
Sort of a red flag.
228
00:11:29,103 --> 00:11:30,269
But mostly awesome!
229
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,104
So what do you want to do now?
230
00:11:32,106 --> 00:11:34,156
Anything you want, Soos.
231
00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:37,409
Choo-choo.
232
00:11:40,446 --> 00:11:43,248
Please insert 50 cents to continue.
233
00:11:43,283 --> 00:11:48,287
- Aw, man!
- [Laughs] Oh, I'm sorry.
234
00:11:48,289 --> 00:11:50,372
Dude, that's awesome
that you're a grown man
235
00:11:50,423 --> 00:11:52,174
riding a little train like that.
236
00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:54,426
- You're totally like owning it.
- Huh?
237
00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:58,046
Oh, yeah, I'm like, if it's fun, do it.
238
00:11:58,097 --> 00:12:00,132
- You know?
- Exactly!
239
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:01,466
Being an adult is the worst!
240
00:12:01,517 --> 00:12:04,303
Skewering meat,
remembering to pay bills.
241
00:12:04,305 --> 00:12:06,305
I just want to ride tiny trains all day.
242
00:12:06,307 --> 00:12:08,307
At least you get to work
at Meat Cute,
243
00:12:08,358 --> 00:12:10,475
extreme lunch meats
are the food of the future.
244
00:12:10,477 --> 00:12:12,227
I feel the same way.
245
00:12:12,278 --> 00:12:14,479
- I'm Melody by the way.
- I'm Soos!
246
00:12:14,481 --> 00:12:16,481
I tell you,
if you like robots for kids,
247
00:12:16,483 --> 00:12:18,984
you should check out the
best restaurant of all time.
248
00:12:19,035 --> 00:12:20,035
You mean...
249
00:12:20,086 --> 00:12:22,321
[Unisono] Hoo-ha owl's
pizzamatronic jamboree.
250
00:12:22,323 --> 00:12:25,073
What?
You've heard of Hoo-ha owl's?
251
00:12:25,124 --> 00:12:26,992
I loved that place when I was a kid!
252
00:12:27,043 --> 00:12:28,377
Oh, yeah, dude,
there's one right in this mall!
253
00:12:28,411 --> 00:12:30,162
I should show you sometime.
254
00:12:30,213 --> 00:12:33,131
- I'm free around eight?
- Boom. Done.
255
00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:35,500
Perfect.
I'll see you then.
256
00:12:42,475 --> 00:12:44,176
What a nice lady.
257
00:12:44,227 --> 00:12:46,428
Well, back to riding this
tiny train for children.
258
00:12:48,314 --> 00:12:49,348
Soos!
259
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,517
We saw the whole thing, Soos.
That was amazing!
260
00:12:52,519 --> 00:12:54,319
You talked to a real girl.
261
00:12:54,354 --> 00:12:56,154
- And you got a date!
- I did?
262
00:12:56,189 --> 00:12:57,272
Ah! Ah!
263
00:12:57,323 --> 00:12:59,408
This is the best day of my life!
264
00:12:59,442 --> 00:13:01,443
You were in the zone,
you made eye contact.
265
00:13:01,494 --> 00:13:04,196
It was like you'd done this
a million times before!
266
00:13:04,247 --> 00:13:06,365
Don't you see?
That game really worked!
267
00:13:06,416 --> 00:13:08,000
You don't need it anymore!
268
00:13:08,034 --> 00:13:11,705
- You can toss it out!
- Toss it? But I like Giffany!
269
00:13:11,706 --> 00:13:14,172
She's good to me!
She's predictable!
270
00:13:14,207 --> 00:13:18,377
Soos, can a computer game go to
Reggie's engagement party with you?
271
00:13:18,428 --> 00:13:20,178
Uh...
272
00:13:20,213 --> 00:13:23,098
Hey, Giffany, we got to talk.
273
00:13:23,132 --> 00:13:26,385
Of course, I'm programmed to find
everything you say interesting.
274
00:13:26,436 --> 00:13:29,471
Well, have you ever had to choose
between two things you like,
275
00:13:29,522 --> 00:13:31,223
but you don't know
which one is right for you?
276
00:13:31,274 --> 00:13:34,109
I mean, I'm just thinking long term.
277
00:13:34,143 --> 00:13:38,363
Maybe I should be with someone a
little less beep-boop, you know.
278
00:13:38,398 --> 00:13:40,065
I don't think you know
what you are saying, Soos.
279
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:41,400
No one loves you more than me.
280
00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:43,452
The girls out there
will just make fun of you.
281
00:13:43,486 --> 00:13:45,287
You really think so?
282
00:13:45,321 --> 00:13:48,240
I know so.
Besides, we had a deal.
283
00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:52,077
You bought my game, you held my
books, you are my boyfriend.
284
00:13:52,128 --> 00:13:53,462
Now sit down in that chair.
285
00:13:53,496 --> 00:13:55,414
I don't think I like the way
you are acting.
286
00:13:55,465 --> 00:13:58,166
I won't let another girl
take you away from me, Soos!
287
00:13:58,217 --> 00:13:59,418
Giffany, calm down.
288
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:01,219
You are mine, Soos!
[Clanking on glass]
289
00:14:01,254 --> 00:14:02,597
Well... uh... pause.
290
00:14:06,092 --> 00:14:08,093
Oh, that got intense.
291
00:14:08,095 --> 00:14:09,177
I'm sorry, Giffany.
292
00:14:09,228 --> 00:14:13,015
Maybe having a cursed robo
girlfriend wasn't a good idea.
293
00:14:13,066 --> 00:14:14,533
I'm taking you back
to the video game store
294
00:14:14,535 --> 00:14:16,118
after my date with Melody.
295
00:14:17,917 --> 00:14:20,750
[Beeping]
[Electricity Cracking]
296
00:14:26,752 --> 00:14:28,052
Hello, old friends.
297
00:14:28,086 --> 00:14:30,121
I've got to be careful this time.
298
00:14:30,123 --> 00:14:32,123
No more Colombian nights.
299
00:14:32,174 --> 00:14:36,093
All right, Stan, this is weird
even for you, you need to talk?
300
00:14:36,128 --> 00:14:38,129
Nothing you could say
will change my mind, Wendy.
301
00:14:38,180 --> 00:14:41,799
Sometimes, a man has to steal
an animatronic badger
302
00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:44,051
to stay in this crazy game called life.
303
00:14:44,102 --> 00:14:47,722
- Or you could just not care.
- It's about the principle.
304
00:14:47,773 --> 00:14:49,940
No one tells Stan Pines
he is out of the game.
305
00:14:49,975 --> 00:14:51,058
No one tells...
306
00:14:51,109 --> 00:14:52,977
[screams]
307
00:14:53,028 --> 00:14:56,335
- I'll get your orthopedic back pillow.
- Thank you!
308
00:14:56,982 --> 00:14:58,749
You can do this, Soos.
309
00:14:58,784 --> 00:15:00,901
Just remember
what your love crew taught you!
310
00:15:00,952 --> 00:15:02,987
- How does she look?
- Nice!
311
00:15:03,038 --> 00:15:05,656
- What are her stories?
- Interesting!
312
00:15:05,658 --> 00:15:08,793
- And who's gonna pay for dinner?
- Soos is!
313
00:15:08,795 --> 00:15:11,128
Now date!
[Blows horn]
314
00:15:11,130 --> 00:15:12,997
[Soos screaming]
315
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:15,015
They grow up so fast.
316
00:15:15,050 --> 00:15:18,002
Itchy legs, itchy legs.
Oh, hi, Soos.
317
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:24,008
Melody! Are you ready
for a ... date with me?
318
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,843
[Laughing]
319
00:15:25,845 --> 00:15:27,011
I totally am.
320
00:15:29,848 --> 00:15:32,149
Good show, man.
Way to warm them up!
321
00:15:32,184 --> 00:15:35,508
I wish I was more like you.
[Smooches]
322
00:15:38,824 --> 00:15:39,940
Man, I could go for some
323
00:15:39,991 --> 00:15:42,374
complimentary bread
sticks right now.
324
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,829
[Chuckles]
One time I was so hungry
325
00:15:44,863 --> 00:15:48,032
I ate the decorational bamboo
in a Chinese restaurant.
326
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:53,754
- Like a big old panda.
- [Laughs] You're hilarious.
327
00:15:53,789 --> 00:15:58,042
Well, you know, I just sort of
say whatever pops into my...
328
00:16:05,717 --> 00:16:06,851
Soos, are you okay?
329
00:16:06,885 --> 00:16:08,853
No, I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
330
00:16:08,887 --> 00:16:11,722
Are you sure?
You are spitting an awful lot.
331
00:16:12,858 --> 00:16:14,809
Uh, could you sit tight?
332
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:16,894
I have go to the bathroom
for a long time.
333
00:16:16,945 --> 00:16:18,863
Not in a weird way.
334
00:16:20,632 --> 00:16:22,116
Soos!
What are you doing out there?
335
00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:24,735
I got a big problem, guys,
I am being stalked by Giffany.
336
00:16:24,786 --> 00:16:25,903
Giffany?
337
00:16:25,954 --> 00:16:27,738
Or maybe it's pronounced Giffany.
338
00:16:27,939 --> 00:16:30,274
- I was never really sure.
- Soos, get a grip on yourself.
339
00:16:30,308 --> 00:16:33,110
Giffany can't stalk you
because she is not real.
340
00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:41,068
- Uh-oh.
- Take it from someone who brought
341
00:16:41,119 --> 00:16:43,287
an arcade game to life.
This will not end well.
342
00:16:43,321 --> 00:16:46,206
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure
she is stuck on TV screens.
343
00:16:49,044 --> 00:16:52,212
Ah, a new challenger approaches,
prepare to be...
344
00:16:56,084 --> 00:16:57,918
Oh, boy.
345
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,901
So hey! Anyway, you want
to move this date into
346
00:16:59,902 --> 00:17:02,006
the forest far away from
all electronics and people?
347
00:17:02,057 --> 00:17:04,758
What? But the floor show's
about to start!
348
00:17:04,809 --> 00:17:07,177
Wha...
[Music plays]
349
00:17:13,852 --> 00:17:16,987
Who wants to hear
Hoo-ha the owl!
350
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:19,461
[Shutting down]
351
00:17:20,859 --> 00:17:24,944
Hello, friends,
Hoo-ha the owl is dead.
352
00:17:26,831 --> 00:17:30,034
This next song goes out to my
forever boyfriend, Soos.
353
00:17:30,085 --> 00:17:32,953
- Soos, what's going on?
- No time to explain!
354
00:17:32,955 --> 00:17:34,304
We got to get out of here!
355
00:17:37,042 --> 00:17:40,294
The only way out, Soos, is in my arms.
356
00:17:40,296 --> 00:17:41,879
Capture them!
357
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:47,051
[Growling]
[People screaming]
358
00:17:48,219 --> 00:17:51,105
Done! Out with the old, in with the new!
359
00:17:51,139 --> 00:17:52,890
I feel invincible.
360
00:17:53,975 --> 00:17:56,226
Ah!
What... what the...
361
00:17:56,277 --> 00:18:00,280
Who wants to get badgered?
[Screams]
362
00:18:03,151 --> 00:18:04,952
Sorry, Soos.
363
00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:08,122
But you can't run away
from our relationship.
364
00:18:14,879 --> 00:18:17,831
So about all this, I may have
purchased a dating simulator
365
00:18:17,882 --> 00:18:19,833
that attained sentience
and went crazy.
366
00:18:19,884 --> 00:18:23,887
Oh, I am crazy.
Crazy for you, Soos.
367
00:18:25,056 --> 00:18:27,257
- Ah!
- Oh, no.
368
00:18:27,308 --> 00:18:29,176
Oh, I'm so sorry, Melody!
I'll fix this!
369
00:18:29,227 --> 00:18:31,011
It's me that she wants.
370
00:18:31,062 --> 00:18:33,222
I'll distract her while
Dipper and Mabel keep you safe.
371
00:18:33,231 --> 00:18:36,934
- It's the only way.
- Soos, these are children.
372
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:39,019
The only way!
373
00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:40,904
[Groaning]
374
00:18:40,939 --> 00:18:42,906
- Over here, Giffany!
- Stop!
375
00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:51,665
On three, we split.
One, two...
376
00:18:51,916 --> 00:18:53,117
[screaming]
377
00:18:54,285 --> 00:18:56,170
Stay back, you monster!
378
00:18:56,204 --> 00:18:57,921
Ah!
379
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:09,850
Yes, yes, get him, Goldie, get him.
380
00:19:16,224 --> 00:19:18,859
I'm gonna eat your face like pizza.
381
00:19:26,462 --> 00:19:29,442
[Growls]
[Screams]
382
00:19:29,821 --> 00:19:34,041
I have got you surrounded, Soos.
There is no way out.
383
00:19:34,075 --> 00:19:35,876
Please, let my friends go.
384
00:19:35,910 --> 00:19:37,911
I'll do anything you want.
I promise.
385
00:19:37,913 --> 00:19:43,250
I seem to remember someone
promising he will be my boyfriend.
386
00:19:43,301 --> 00:19:49,139
Think about it, real girls are
unpredictable, they judge you.
387
00:19:49,174 --> 00:19:52,142
You really think Melody
is going to take you back
388
00:19:52,177 --> 00:19:54,261
after this awful date?
389
00:19:56,981 --> 00:19:59,266
I can download your brain
into the game with me
390
00:19:59,317 --> 00:20:02,019
and we will be together
forever.
391
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,020
Ah!
392
00:20:04,939 --> 00:20:05,856
Stay back.
393
00:20:05,907 --> 00:20:10,277
Come on, Soos.
Don't make me to leave you, too.
394
00:20:10,279 --> 00:20:11,945
What do you say?
395
00:20:12,997 --> 00:20:15,165
I say, game over, Giffany!
396
00:20:17,035 --> 00:20:18,285
No! Wait!
397
00:20:38,356 --> 00:20:39,856
You did it!
398
00:20:39,891 --> 00:20:42,226
You old, beautiful monster!
You did it!
399
00:20:42,277 --> 00:20:44,194
How's about you and me hit the town?
400
00:20:44,229 --> 00:20:46,980
These old has-beens
are going to Vegas!
401
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,904
[Sighs]
I'm sorry for all this.
402
00:20:53,955 --> 00:20:56,907
I honestly remember this place being
a lot more fun when I was a kid.
403
00:20:56,958 --> 00:20:59,076
Believe it or not,
I've been on worse dates.
404
00:20:59,127 --> 00:21:01,211
- Really?
- Never date a magician.
405
00:21:01,246 --> 00:21:03,880
Ew! Why would I?
[Chuckles]
406
00:21:03,915 --> 00:21:05,882
Oh, hey, you wouldn't maybe
be interested
407
00:21:05,917 --> 00:21:08,135
in coming to my cousin's
engagement party in a week?
408
00:21:08,169 --> 00:21:11,004
I promise there is like
zero robot badgers.
409
00:21:11,055 --> 00:21:13,173
[Chuckles] Yeah, I'll
still be in town then.
410
00:21:13,175 --> 00:21:15,008
Still be in town?
411
00:21:15,010 --> 00:21:17,060
I'm going back home to
Portland in a few weeks
412
00:21:17,095 --> 00:21:19,846
but we can video chat,
if that's okay with you?
413
00:21:19,848 --> 00:21:23,016
A relationship with a girl that I
can only see through my computer...
414
00:21:23,018 --> 00:21:25,852
sounds perfect.
415
00:21:25,854 --> 00:21:28,989
Spirit of love, we did it.
416
00:21:29,023 --> 00:21:31,241
Yes, yes, I'm so happy.
417
00:21:31,276 --> 00:21:33,327
Have you been
following us all day?
418
00:21:33,361 --> 00:21:36,029
Soos's life is my soap opera.
419
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:40,080
Sync & corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
420
00:21:40,101 --> 00:21:44,087
♪ Cash money ♪
♪ in the car with honey ♪
421
00:21:44,122 --> 00:21:47,874
♪ travel way too fast,
I got money in my glass ♪
422
00:21:47,925 --> 00:21:49,209
♪ cash money ♪
423
00:21:49,211 --> 00:21:50,927
♪ grab a bank ♪
424
00:21:50,962 --> 00:21:52,929
♪ you can't stop the party ♪
425
00:21:52,964 --> 00:21:54,097
♪ cash money ♪
426
00:21:54,132 --> 00:21:56,216
♪ we're old but we're awesome ♪
427
00:21:56,218 --> 00:21:59,019
♪ we're gonna get married ♪
428
00:21:59,053 --> 00:22:01,221
♪ it's a great idea ♪
429
00:22:01,223 --> 00:22:04,808
♪ who are you to judge? ♪
430
00:22:04,859 --> 00:22:06,099
♪ This was a mistake, what... ♪
30328
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