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♪ grandiose music playing ♪
2
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♪ theme song playing ♪
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♪
4
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[alarm clock beeping]
5
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[alarm stops]
6
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Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
7
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Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
- Oh my! Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!
8
00:00:50,594 --> 00:00:53,597
I'll change Stinky.
You serve breakfast to Picky.
9
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I'm not picky!
10
00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:58,727
Ew, gross! You got egg white in my egg!
11
00:00:58,727 --> 00:01:01,605
[Mandy struggling]
- Ugh! Just get dressed, Mandy!
12
00:01:01,605 --> 00:01:03,732
These are kids' clothes, Mom!
13
00:01:03,732 --> 00:01:05,275
I'm not wearing these!
14
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Me neither!
[squishing]
15
00:01:07,027 --> 00:01:08,904
[grunts]
[splat, sizzle]
16
00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:11,740
Ew, gross!
You got egg white on his diaper.
17
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♪
18
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[rattling]
- I don't get why my kids are so spoiled.
19
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We have tons of money,
we give them everything they want,
20
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and still totally spoiled!
21
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Your kids should see how
I grew up in the Orphanarium.
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[whack]
Ugh. We could only dream
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of being spoiled and obnoxious.
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[blows raspberry]
25
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Oh yeah?
[blows flaming raspberry]
26
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:36,139
Hey, does the Orphanarium
allow visitors?
27
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:38,308
You know,
so people can feel good about themselves,
28
00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:40,227
and also frighten their own children?
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Sure! It's called volunteering.
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♪ upbeat music playing ♪
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Ew! This place smells worse than Mandy!
32
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- Does not!
- Well, I, for one,
33
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think volunteering is a fantastic idea.
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I wouldn't miss it for the world.
35
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[phone ringing]
36
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Lieutenant Kroker!
Report for emergency briefing.
37
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Oh, thank God. I'll be back in a month!
38
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[frantic panting]
39
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[buzzer]
[door creaks]
40
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[children giggling]
41
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Warden Vogel!
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Leela! It seems like only yesterday
43
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you were this tall
and riddled with scurvy.
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[both laughing]
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Lot of bad memories.
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Is this gonna be my new family?
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No, Albert.
These folks are here to provide
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useless, unskilled labor,
not adopt you.
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Oh, thank God.
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Get ready for some super fun
hands-on volunteer work.
51
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[fly buzzing]
[water drips]
52
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But don't touch anything.
53
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It's snack time, so you can start
by cutting these grapes in half.
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Ah, so the little ones don't choke.
55
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,042
No, so there's enough to go around.
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[annoyed sigh]
[snipping]
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Next, cut the blankets.
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00:02:50,797 --> 00:02:52,215
[bubbling]
59
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This soup smells delicious!
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Can I help serve and eat it, yum-yum?
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You've gotta make it first.
That's just tap water.
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[gurgling]
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Mm, chunky.
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[slurping]
65
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Shall I take this putrid trash out?
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That isn't trash. It's the donation bin.
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Donors put their trash in it.
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00:03:11,985 --> 00:03:14,738
Okay, kids, line up.
[kids cheer]
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Each child will receive
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precisely 0.6 kilograms of toy.
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Two-thirds of a basketball for you,
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a clump of melted army men for you,
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three stuffed animals
with tomato sauce for you,
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and a tricy-- uh, bicycle for you.
[clatters]
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Albert, you get a cookie.
- Yum!
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[chomp]
[tire pops, deflates]
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
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This used to be my room.
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It's the only one with a window.
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[raccoon chittering]
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That's Bandit.
He gave me my first rabies.
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This is way nicer than my room at home!
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Mine has too much furnitures.
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And it's all so matchy-matchy.
[squish]
85
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And her toys have lots of sauce on them!
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Mine don't have any! [crying]
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You want me to kick her?
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♪ bright music playing ♪
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Here you go.
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[plate shatters]
And one for you.
91
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[plate shatters]
[baby talk] And one for you.
92
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[plate slides, shatters]
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[normal]
Ah. It just feels so good to help.
94
00:04:19,761 --> 00:04:22,931
Can you fix our table, Mr. Shiny Pants?
95
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I thought you'd never ask!
96
00:04:24,891 --> 00:04:27,477
[grunts]
[children cheer]
97
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Can you bend my spoon straight?
98
00:04:29,771 --> 00:04:32,148
No problem, kid. [grunts]
99
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How'd that happen anyway?
100
00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:36,319
Damien did it. With his brain.
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♪ eerie music playing ♪
102
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My man, Damien!
103
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[antenna squeaks]
[yelps]
104
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[bird caws]
105
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I apologize, kids.
That was just horrible!
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00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,832
I'll buy you all ponies to make up for it.
107
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Mine better be a big one!
108
00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:52,627
Hey, where's Mandy?
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[bed squeaking]
[kids laugh]
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I love it here! Whee!
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[bed smashes]
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[laughter]
113
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Wanna play toys?
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The raccoon lick'ded
some of the p'sghetti sauce off.
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Aw, so cute!
[squishing]
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Hi! My name is Bearinara!
[giggles]
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I like your ear!
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[giggles]
119
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[squishing]
- I like your big empty forehead.
120
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[both laugh]
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You're a little green froggy
just like my daddy!
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[smooch]
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
124
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Mandy! Stop kissing garbage!
125
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But, we're having fun!
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Come on. It's time to go.
127
00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,961
Can I at least give her a hug goodbye?
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[whispers]
I said not to touch anything dirty.
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♪ sad music playing ♪
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[feet scraping]
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♪ dramatic music playing ♪
132
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Reporting for briefing, sir!
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You know, Kif, among certain females,
134
00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:52,395
I'm better known for my de-briefing.
135
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:54,898
[laughing]
[Kif groans]
136
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At ease, gentlemen.
[startled grunt]
137
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Admirella? And in combat uniform?
138
00:06:01,738 --> 00:06:03,156
This must be important.
139
00:06:03,156 --> 00:06:04,783
Very important, Lieutenant.
140
00:06:04,783 --> 00:06:07,077
What I'm about to show you is top secret.
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00:06:07,077 --> 00:06:10,038
That's why I've been keeping it
close to my chest.
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00:06:10,038 --> 00:06:11,539
[unzipping]
- Uh...
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00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,167
I-I should get a map like that for Amy.
144
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:16,795
Unidentified hostile aliens
have wiped out
145
00:06:16,795 --> 00:06:18,755
several of our remote bases
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00:06:18,755 --> 00:06:20,882
here, here, and here.
[beeping]
147
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I've been to two of those bases.
148
00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:24,886
And they're on a direct course for...
149
00:06:24,886 --> 00:06:27,013
well, I'm not at liberty to say,
150
00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:29,516
but one of the DOOP's
most important planets.
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00:06:29,516 --> 00:06:32,310
Not Amphibios 9, my home world?!
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[both laughing]
153
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Important means Earth, Lieutenant.
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00:06:39,484 --> 00:06:42,862
The very survival of Earth is at stake.
155
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Pfft. Amphibios 9.
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[both laughing]
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00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:49,703
♪ ominous crescendo ♪
- Oh, ho, ho.
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♪
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[splashing]
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Those orphans sure taught us a lot
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about not being spoiled.
Right, kids?
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[sniffing]
Are these domestic bath salts?
163
00:07:01,882 --> 00:07:03,341
What are we, bankrupt?
164
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:06,761
I miss Sally. And her fuzzly toys.
165
00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:09,514
I'll get you a clean new fuzzly toy.
166
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I'm sure you can find them anywhere.
167
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
168
00:07:12,642 --> 00:07:14,019
Sold out?
169
00:07:14,019 --> 00:07:15,020
♪ dramatic sting ♪
170
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:17,022
Sold out?!
171
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
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00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:19,858
Ah. There they are.
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[all arguing]
174
00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:25,405
Hey!
- Grab. Hands off my kajigger!
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00:07:25,405 --> 00:07:26,948
It's a present for my whatsit!
176
00:07:26,948 --> 00:07:29,367
Your whatsit's too old
to play with kajiggers.
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00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:31,828
[both struggling]
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00:07:32,662 --> 00:07:36,625
Ooh! Looks like we've got
a little Fuzzy Funbag collector!
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00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:39,377
- People collect these things?
- Oh God, yes.
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00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:42,130
From the moment I nabbed
my first one, I was like...
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00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:44,633
♪ Gotta collect 'em all! ♪
182
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[electronic jingle playing]
SIGN: ♪ Gotta collect 'em all! ♪
183
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Now that I know they're hard to get,
I want them!
184
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:51,806
[punch lands]
- Ow!
185
00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:53,934
There! I collected 'em all.
186
00:07:53,934 --> 00:07:57,437
Oh, honey,
that's not even close to 'em all.
187
00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:59,439
You've got, like, 195 to go.
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Shman. Then, I better get started.
189
00:08:02,609 --> 00:08:04,778
- Hey!
- Oh, grow up.
190
00:08:04,778 --> 00:08:07,656
♪ triumphant music playing ♪
191
00:08:07,656 --> 00:08:08,907
[computer alert]
[gasps]
192
00:08:08,907 --> 00:08:11,493
A Bitey Bedbug came up on bBay!
193
00:08:12,285 --> 00:08:13,787
[scoffs]
[clicks remote]
194
00:08:13,787 --> 00:08:15,789
- In business news...
- Turn that off!
195
00:08:15,789 --> 00:08:18,750
...the Fuzzy Funbag index
hit an all-time high today--
196
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,418
[beep]
- [gasps] Turn that on!
197
00:08:20,418 --> 00:08:21,920
Experts agree,
198
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,923
the mass-produced bags
can only go up in value,
199
00:08:24,923 --> 00:08:26,841
much like Bitcoin or tulips.
200
00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:29,094
Gotta collect 'em all.
201
00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:32,097
♪ spirited music playing ♪
202
00:08:32,097 --> 00:08:33,139
[gasps]
203
00:08:34,641 --> 00:08:35,892
[squishing, pop]
204
00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:38,812
♪ dark music playing ♪
205
00:08:42,315 --> 00:08:45,318
[inaudible]
206
00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:48,196
Hm...
207
00:08:48,196 --> 00:08:49,864
One to go.
208
00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:51,825
Cashew CuddleFish,
209
00:08:51,825 --> 00:08:54,536
I'm gonna collect you so hard!
210
00:08:54,536 --> 00:08:58,039
♪
211
00:08:58,039 --> 00:08:59,708
Business is booming!
212
00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:02,627
We're delivering whatever
these things are by the millions!
213
00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:03,962
[yelps]
214
00:09:03,962 --> 00:09:06,882
This one! The CuddleFish!
Has anyone seen it?!
215
00:09:06,882 --> 00:09:10,176
You seem kinda worked up, Amy.
Though it is awful cute.
216
00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:12,596
Gimme that drawing!
[both struggle]
217
00:09:13,263 --> 00:09:16,057
You know, there's actually
quite a bit of science
218
00:09:16,057 --> 00:09:18,518
behind the concept of cuteness.
219
00:09:18,518 --> 00:09:21,187
Ooh! Lecture, lecture!
[beep]
220
00:09:21,187 --> 00:09:22,772
PROFESSOR:
Since baby mammals
221
00:09:22,772 --> 00:09:25,442
have relatively large eyes at birth,
222
00:09:25,442 --> 00:09:28,069
we evolved to find that cute,
223
00:09:28,069 --> 00:09:31,907
so we'd care for our offspring
instead of strangling them.
224
00:09:31,907 --> 00:09:34,034
Clever little bastards.
225
00:09:34,034 --> 00:09:36,411
[beep]
- Let's run an experiment.
226
00:09:36,411 --> 00:09:37,829
[cart rattling]
227
00:09:37,829 --> 00:09:40,123
I'm going to show a series of images,
228
00:09:40,123 --> 00:09:42,334
and my cu-trometer will measure
229
00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:45,128
how loud you say "aww."
230
00:09:45,128 --> 00:09:46,129
[beep]
231
00:09:46,129 --> 00:09:47,547
ALL:
Aww.
232
00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:49,758
[beep]
[louder] Aww!
233
00:09:49,758 --> 00:09:52,427
[beep]
[even louder] Aww!
234
00:09:52,427 --> 00:09:53,595
[beep]
235
00:09:53,595 --> 00:09:54,721
- Ew!
- Yuck!
236
00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:58,558
Correct! This face has
zero cuteness coefficient.
237
00:09:58,558 --> 00:10:01,645
The pinprick pupils
are ugly and off-putting.
238
00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:03,313
Turn it off! Turn it off!
239
00:10:03,313 --> 00:10:07,150
But these Funbags,
why, they take it to the next level!
240
00:10:07,150 --> 00:10:08,735
[beep]
241
00:10:08,735 --> 00:10:11,196
ALL [loudest] Aww!
[beeping, breaking]
242
00:10:11,196 --> 00:10:14,950
Our desire to obtain them
is beyond our control.
243
00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:17,160
I don't know
if it's literally beyond our--
244
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,161
[alarm blaring]
245
00:10:18,161 --> 00:10:20,288
A CuddleFish is up for auction!
246
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,666
[piercing shriek, laugh]
247
00:10:22,666 --> 00:10:24,459
[tires screeching]
248
00:10:25,377 --> 00:10:28,380
Just sneak in and pretend
to be orphans till I get back!
249
00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:31,633
Go, go, go!
[engine roaring, tires squealing]
250
00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:35,136
♪ posh music playing ♪
251
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:36,471
[auction chatter]
252
00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:40,517
Wow. You own your own bidding paddle?
253
00:10:40,517 --> 00:10:42,852
I own my own number.
254
00:10:42,852 --> 00:10:46,606
We now start the bidding for the rarest
and cutest of all Funbags.
255
00:10:46,606 --> 00:10:48,692
Cashew the CuddleFish.
256
00:10:48,692 --> 00:10:50,277
[audience ooh's and aww's]
257
00:10:50,277 --> 00:10:53,154
All the money in
my children's college funds!
258
00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:54,447
[audience gasps]
259
00:10:54,447 --> 00:10:57,784
Madam, that bid is more
than makes any sense.
260
00:10:57,784 --> 00:10:59,911
We have More Than Makes Any Sense,
More Than Makes Any Sense.
261
00:10:59,911 --> 00:11:02,372
Do I hear More Than Makes
Any Sense and a Half?
262
00:11:02,372 --> 00:11:04,833
[squishing]
[audience murmurs]
263
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,418
We have More Than Makes
Any Sense and a Half.
264
00:11:06,418 --> 00:11:08,837
Do I hear Girl, Are You
Kidding Me Right Now?
265
00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:10,922
You only live once, Mother.
266
00:11:10,922 --> 00:11:13,216
[mutters]
Although it's been a very long once.
267
00:11:13,216 --> 00:11:15,510
Girl, are you kidding me right now?
268
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:16,511
Ow!
269
00:11:16,511 --> 00:11:18,555
Objection! Stop the bidding!
270
00:11:18,555 --> 00:11:20,640
This Funbag is a fake!
271
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,434
[audience gasps]
AMY: What?!
272
00:11:22,434 --> 00:11:24,102
Note how the fabric on the underseam
273
00:11:24,102 --> 00:11:26,438
is a slightly lighter shade
than it should be.
274
00:11:26,438 --> 00:11:29,065
And instead of reading
"Cashew CuddleFish,"
275
00:11:29,065 --> 00:11:30,150
the tag reads,
276
00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:31,776
"Knockoff Phonyfish."
277
00:11:31,776 --> 00:11:34,362
You're a professional Funbag appraiser!
278
00:11:34,362 --> 00:11:36,573
How did you not notice that before?
279
00:11:36,573 --> 00:11:39,784
Honestly, I was just too
distracted by its cuteness.
280
00:11:39,784 --> 00:11:43,747
Ugh!
Has anyone even seen a real CuddleFish?
281
00:11:43,747 --> 00:11:45,290
Maybe they don't exist!
282
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:48,668
Maybe it's all just some kinda
sick, fuzzy-wuzzy game!
283
00:11:48,668 --> 00:11:50,587
Now, now, calm down.
284
00:11:50,587 --> 00:11:53,590
Remember, Miss Wong,
you have actual kids to hug.
285
00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:55,550
Who? Oh, right!
286
00:11:55,926 --> 00:11:59,137
[gasps] That stain
looks like a moldy bunny.
287
00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:02,265
MANDY:
That one looks like a cockaroach!
288
00:12:02,265 --> 00:12:03,558
Oh, it ran away.
289
00:12:03,558 --> 00:12:05,977
Let's play Funbags!
290
00:12:07,437 --> 00:12:10,106
Come on, Mandy,
let's go home and take a bath
291
00:12:10,106 --> 00:12:11,816
and incinerate those clothes.
292
00:12:11,816 --> 00:12:13,235
♪ dramatic sting ♪
293
00:12:13,235 --> 00:12:15,528
[gasping]
294
00:12:15,528 --> 00:12:16,821
[thud]
295
00:12:17,822 --> 00:12:20,825
♪ fanciful music playing ♪
296
00:12:20,825 --> 00:12:22,702
♪ slightly tense music playing ♪
297
00:12:22,702 --> 00:12:23,954
Wow.
298
00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:26,456
What an interesting little toy.
299
00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:29,876
It is? What's interesting about it?
300
00:12:29,876 --> 00:12:31,920
I mean, nothing really.
301
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,714
They're just... so fun to trade, right?
302
00:12:34,714 --> 00:12:36,716
Why do you sound weird, Mom?
303
00:12:36,716 --> 00:12:38,802
[stilted]
I don't sound weird.
304
00:12:38,802 --> 00:12:40,804
Go wait in the car!
305
00:12:42,389 --> 00:12:45,016
[normal]
That one is so dirty.
306
00:12:45,016 --> 00:12:47,686
Wouldn't you rather have
some nice clean ones?
307
00:12:47,686 --> 00:12:50,313
No, I like my dirty one better.
308
00:12:50,313 --> 00:12:51,940
It matches me.
309
00:12:51,940 --> 00:12:55,443
Oh, b-but this purple lion
is slightly rare!
310
00:12:55,443 --> 00:12:57,237
And I'll throw in a whole bag
311
00:12:57,237 --> 00:13:00,031
of gold variant hugger whales.
312
00:13:00,031 --> 00:13:02,075
You can just have it if you want.
313
00:13:02,075 --> 00:13:03,326
Take the deal!
314
00:13:03,326 --> 00:13:06,246
♪ suspenseful music playing ♪
315
00:13:06,246 --> 00:13:08,415
Approaching Outpost Merveena 6,
316
00:13:08,415 --> 00:13:10,500
the latest base to fall silent.
317
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,086
I have a weird feeling about this, Kif.
318
00:13:13,086 --> 00:13:15,714
Set tension level to maximum.
319
00:13:15,714 --> 00:13:16,715
[sighs]
320
00:13:16,715 --> 00:13:19,551
[tense whirring]
321
00:13:19,551 --> 00:13:22,554
♪ tense music playing ♪
322
00:13:24,848 --> 00:13:25,849
♪ dramatic sting ♪
323
00:13:25,849 --> 00:13:27,475
Holy fri-jo-les!
324
00:13:27,475 --> 00:13:29,269
It's horrifying!
325
00:13:29,269 --> 00:13:30,312
After you, Kif.
326
00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:31,855
[grunts]
327
00:13:32,647 --> 00:13:35,609
Their windpipes and rib cages
have been crushed.
328
00:13:35,609 --> 00:13:38,028
It's as if they had their very lives
cuddled out of them!
329
00:13:38,028 --> 00:13:40,488
[typing]
ZAPP: Let's check the security footage.
330
00:13:40,488 --> 00:13:43,742
Whoever arrived here last
must be the massacre-er.
331
00:13:43,742 --> 00:13:46,202
[audio rewinding]
[static]
332
00:13:47,579 --> 00:13:48,580
[Kif gasps]
333
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:51,207
That's Amy's boss' delivery crew's ship!
334
00:13:51,207 --> 00:13:54,502
[dolly squeaking]
335
00:13:54,502 --> 00:13:56,296
[bottles clatter]
336
00:13:56,296 --> 00:13:57,547
[Bender giggles]
337
00:13:57,547 --> 00:14:00,717
They just made a harmless delivery
and stole some stuff.
338
00:14:00,717 --> 00:14:02,302
Nothing illegal about that.
339
00:14:02,302 --> 00:14:04,721
[ship roaring]
340
00:14:04,721 --> 00:14:07,849
Some monster must've
stowed aboard that ship,
341
00:14:07,849 --> 00:14:09,976
then murdered everything here...
342
00:14:09,976 --> 00:14:11,645
To the death.
343
00:14:11,645 --> 00:14:13,647
Do you think it's still around? [gasps]
344
00:14:13,647 --> 00:14:15,899
Or maybe already headed to Earth?
345
00:14:15,899 --> 00:14:17,400
I don't think.
346
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,070
I run away! [whimpering]
347
00:14:20,070 --> 00:14:22,614
Oh, I hope Amy and the kids are alright.
348
00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:23,990
[panting]
349
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,578
Can't go on a work trip and not bring back
a cute present. [panting]
350
00:14:28,578 --> 00:14:31,498
♪
351
00:14:31,498 --> 00:14:34,626
So, after long
and careless consideration,
352
00:14:34,626 --> 00:14:36,711
your pension is now fully invested
353
00:14:36,711 --> 00:14:38,421
in Fuzzy Funbags.
354
00:14:38,421 --> 00:14:40,924
It's just prudent.
[Zapp panting]
355
00:14:40,924 --> 00:14:43,593
Any alien invaders around here?
356
00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:44,886
Uh-oh. The fuzz!
357
00:14:44,886 --> 00:14:48,098
Something wiped out
the outpost at Merveena 6.
358
00:14:48,098 --> 00:14:49,849
But, we were just there!
359
00:14:49,849 --> 00:14:53,228
Uh, they had a precious vase!
Much like this one!
360
00:14:53,228 --> 00:14:56,982
Some unthinkable horror
may have stowed away in your cargo hold.
361
00:14:56,982 --> 00:14:58,233
What were you delivering?
362
00:14:58,233 --> 00:15:00,569
The only thing
we deliver anywhere anymore.
363
00:15:00,569 --> 00:15:02,612
Fuzzy Funbags. Like that.
364
00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:04,030
♪ dramatic sting ♪
365
00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:05,615
Exactly like this?
366
00:15:05,615 --> 00:15:08,243
Let me see that Funbag.
367
00:15:11,496 --> 00:15:12,747
Scalpel.
368
00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:16,585
[fabric ripping]
[all gasping, gagging]
369
00:15:16,585 --> 00:15:18,420
My God!
370
00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:19,671
What? What's in there?
371
00:15:19,671 --> 00:15:23,049
Little plastic beads! Or beans!
372
00:15:23,049 --> 00:15:25,719
What did you expect?
It's a beanbag.
373
00:15:28,263 --> 00:15:30,432
Whoa, this is no bean.
374
00:15:30,432 --> 00:15:32,809
It's alive!
- Aren't beans alive?
375
00:15:32,809 --> 00:15:34,185
Cork it, nerd!
376
00:15:34,185 --> 00:15:35,770
[beeping]
377
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:38,773
[whirring]
[slicing, squishing]
378
00:15:38,773 --> 00:15:40,191
[all gasp]
ZOIDBERG: Yum.
379
00:15:40,984 --> 00:15:44,029
The entire organism
is filled with spores!
380
00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:47,532
It's essentially just
one big reproductive organ.
381
00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:50,452
Much like certain humans,
eh, Leela? [clicks tongue]
382
00:15:50,452 --> 00:15:52,662
Is it possible these little fun bags
383
00:15:52,662 --> 00:15:54,706
could've caused such devastation?
384
00:15:54,706 --> 00:15:56,750
Not on their own, no.
385
00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:58,418
They have no brain!
386
00:15:58,418 --> 00:16:00,837
Much like certain humans, eh, Leela?
387
00:16:00,837 --> 00:16:02,380
Eh-- No, uh, wait.
388
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:06,009
There would have to be some
malicious variant to command them.
389
00:16:06,009 --> 00:16:07,761
A highly unusual one
390
00:16:07,761 --> 00:16:10,639
with diabolical intelligence.
391
00:16:10,639 --> 00:16:12,849
"The Alpha Funbag."
392
00:16:12,849 --> 00:16:14,226
♪ dramatic sting ♪
393
00:16:14,226 --> 00:16:16,353
♪ I got it, I got it! ♪
394
00:16:16,353 --> 00:16:18,480
♪ The rarest in the world! ♪
395
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,776
♪ By ripping off a little orphan girl! ♪
396
00:16:23,443 --> 00:16:26,988
I'm a terrible person. [sobbing]
397
00:16:26,988 --> 00:16:30,533
♪ sad music playing ♪
398
00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:33,954
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
399
00:16:33,954 --> 00:16:37,499
So these Funbags are invading Earth?
How is that possible?
400
00:16:37,499 --> 00:16:40,961
Cuteness is a brilliant
evolutionary strategy.
401
00:16:40,961 --> 00:16:42,712
They can't build spaceships,
402
00:16:42,712 --> 00:16:45,006
or even their own shelves to sit on.
403
00:16:45,006 --> 00:16:46,424
Heh-heh, losers.
404
00:16:46,424 --> 00:16:47,884
But they don't have to.
405
00:16:47,884 --> 00:16:50,887
They evolved to be irresistibly cute,
406
00:16:50,887 --> 00:16:54,432
so fools like everyone but me
would collect them.
407
00:16:54,432 --> 00:16:57,811
This is an invasion where
we're buying the invaders
408
00:16:57,811 --> 00:17:00,105
and bringing them into our homes!
409
00:17:00,105 --> 00:17:03,775
Like my black mold Chia Pet?
[coughing]
410
00:17:03,775 --> 00:17:05,819
What would their leader look like?
411
00:17:05,819 --> 00:17:07,237
The Alpha Funbag?
412
00:17:07,237 --> 00:17:09,573
Well, it wouldn't be a common one,
413
00:17:09,573 --> 00:17:10,782
like Chutney the Chipmunk
414
00:17:10,782 --> 00:17:13,410
or Extincty the Black Rhino.
415
00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:16,705
No, it would be rare and expensive.
416
00:17:16,705 --> 00:17:19,624
One only within
the purview of a top collector,
417
00:17:19,624 --> 00:17:22,627
such as myself, or Amy.
Mm-hmm.
418
00:17:22,627 --> 00:17:24,588
Or Amy?
419
00:17:24,588 --> 00:17:25,589
Mm-hmm.
420
00:17:25,589 --> 00:17:28,341
♪ mysterious music playing ♪
421
00:17:28,341 --> 00:17:31,094
Mandy, Mommy did something wrong,
422
00:17:31,094 --> 00:17:33,096
and it's time to make it right.
423
00:17:33,096 --> 00:17:36,308
You mean abandoning us for weeks
to go toy shopping?
424
00:17:36,308 --> 00:17:38,894
No, but that was also an oopsie.
425
00:17:38,894 --> 00:17:41,146
Here you go, Albert.
426
00:17:41,146 --> 00:17:43,523
And this one's for you, Nina.
427
00:17:43,523 --> 00:17:45,317
Got one to spare for a warden
428
00:17:45,317 --> 00:17:48,862
with an empty space on his shelf?
And in his heart?
429
00:17:48,862 --> 00:17:50,405
Of course!
430
00:17:50,405 --> 00:17:52,073
Enjoy, kids.
431
00:17:52,073 --> 00:17:56,036
I'm donating my whole collection
to the Orphanarium!
432
00:17:56,036 --> 00:17:59,998
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
433
00:18:01,917 --> 00:18:03,168
I'm back!
434
00:18:03,168 --> 00:18:04,878
[gasps] Mandy!
435
00:18:04,878 --> 00:18:07,839
I was scareded I'd never see you again.
436
00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:10,258
Sally, I did a bad thing.
437
00:18:10,258 --> 00:18:12,552
Taking away your special toy.
438
00:18:12,552 --> 00:18:14,679
It's rare and valuable,
439
00:18:14,679 --> 00:18:16,681
and it belongs to you.
440
00:18:16,681 --> 00:18:18,350
It's okay, you can keep it.
441
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:20,685
I like the one you gave me more.
442
00:18:20,685 --> 00:18:23,897
That cheap common one
that anybody can get?
443
00:18:23,897 --> 00:18:25,398
Are you crazy?!
444
00:18:25,398 --> 00:18:26,566
It's special to me,
445
00:18:26,566 --> 00:18:30,028
'cause it's the first time a mommy
ever gived me a present.
446
00:18:30,028 --> 00:18:31,863
♪ heartwarming music playing ♪
447
00:18:31,863 --> 00:18:34,157
Please, please take it back.
448
00:18:34,157 --> 00:18:37,577
Mm-mmm. It's important to you
in some grown-up way,
449
00:18:37,577 --> 00:18:39,704
but to me, it's just a toy.
450
00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:42,332
But that's the most
important thing it can be.
451
00:18:42,332 --> 00:18:44,960
Just take it and have fun.
452
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,380
No! It's only fun to play with someone,
453
00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:50,340
especially Mandy.
454
00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:52,592
Is she allowed to play with me again?
455
00:18:53,468 --> 00:18:57,305
You and Mandy can play together
as much as you want.
456
00:18:57,305 --> 00:18:58,807
Then, okay.
457
00:18:58,807 --> 00:19:00,058
[squishing]
458
00:19:00,058 --> 00:19:01,977
[Amy and Sally struggle]
459
00:19:01,977 --> 00:19:04,271
Mommy, you're not letting go of it.
460
00:19:04,271 --> 00:19:06,565
[grunting, gasps]
461
00:19:06,565 --> 00:19:09,484
You'll be okay. It's just a toy.
462
00:19:09,484 --> 00:19:12,112
[blinking]
- [deep, scratchy voice] Let's cuddle!
463
00:19:12,112 --> 00:19:15,115
[screaming]
464
00:19:15,115 --> 00:19:18,159
♪ ominous music playing ♪
465
00:19:18,159 --> 00:19:21,997
[scared whimpering]
466
00:19:21,997 --> 00:19:23,582
♪
467
00:19:23,582 --> 00:19:25,125
♪ dramatic sting ♪
468
00:19:25,125 --> 00:19:26,668
[Zapp humming heroic charge music]
469
00:19:26,668 --> 00:19:28,211
Ow.
470
00:19:28,211 --> 00:19:29,796
[gasps]
[door creaks]
471
00:19:29,796 --> 00:19:31,006
[all gasp]
472
00:19:31,006 --> 00:19:32,924
[grunts] Help!
473
00:19:32,924 --> 00:19:36,177
[squeezing]
It's... hugging my... neck!
474
00:19:36,177 --> 00:19:38,430
[choking]
475
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:40,056
Fear not!
476
00:19:40,056 --> 00:19:42,100
Kif, put him out of his misery.
477
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:43,143
[zap]
478
00:19:43,143 --> 00:19:45,270
[rattling]
479
00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:46,897
[comical popping]
480
00:19:46,897 --> 00:19:48,523
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
481
00:19:48,523 --> 00:19:49,566
Ah!
482
00:19:50,692 --> 00:19:51,943
Dear lord!
483
00:19:51,943 --> 00:19:53,820
When the Funbags explode,
484
00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:56,114
it triggers the beans to hatch!
485
00:19:56,114 --> 00:19:58,033
So how are we supposed to kill them?
486
00:19:58,033 --> 00:20:00,660
With my monkey-killing barrel,
of course.
487
00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:03,038
Just place the fun bags in and...
488
00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:04,039
[imitates cutting throat]
489
00:20:04,039 --> 00:20:05,373
[kids whimpering]
490
00:20:05,373 --> 00:20:06,958
You've met your match,
491
00:20:06,958 --> 00:20:09,669
tiny motionless cuddly animal.
492
00:20:09,669 --> 00:20:12,297
♪ heartwarming music playing ♪
493
00:20:12,297 --> 00:20:15,091
I can't do it. It's too adorable!
494
00:20:15,091 --> 00:20:18,136
Don't be ridiculous. Give it to me.
495
00:20:18,136 --> 00:20:19,930
♪ music continues ♪
496
00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:21,890
Oh! Dammit!
497
00:20:21,890 --> 00:20:24,434
The cuteness is too much, even for me!
498
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:26,686
And I believe Bambi's mother deserved it!
499
00:20:26,686 --> 00:20:29,981
It's no use. We're totally outgunned.
500
00:20:29,981 --> 00:20:32,734
AMY: Kif! Help!
- Amy!
501
00:20:32,734 --> 00:20:34,444
[whimpering]
502
00:20:34,444 --> 00:20:36,196
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
503
00:20:36,196 --> 00:20:37,864
♪ creepy cute music playing ♪
504
00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:40,825
Cuddle formation!
505
00:20:40,825 --> 00:20:42,118
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
506
00:20:42,118 --> 00:20:44,412
Forward, hug!
507
00:20:44,412 --> 00:20:46,081
♪ dramatic crescendo ♪
508
00:20:46,081 --> 00:20:48,541
I'm scared, Mama! I need a hug!
509
00:20:48,541 --> 00:20:51,836
No, Mandy! Whatever you do, no hugging!
510
00:20:51,836 --> 00:20:55,006
♪ tense music playing ♪
511
00:20:56,508 --> 00:20:58,885
[whispers]
We mustn't release the spores,
512
00:20:58,885 --> 00:21:00,845
so don't shoot anything.
513
00:21:00,845 --> 00:21:04,641
How could I?
Their eyes are just so big and cute.
514
00:21:05,392 --> 00:21:06,393
♪ dramatic sting ♪
515
00:21:06,393 --> 00:21:09,437
Ah! Those tiny pinprick pupils!
516
00:21:09,437 --> 00:21:12,107
[zapping]
517
00:21:12,107 --> 00:21:15,694
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
518
00:21:15,694 --> 00:21:18,863
[popping]
519
00:21:18,863 --> 00:21:21,366
[all screaming]
520
00:21:21,366 --> 00:21:24,119
[screaming, wailing]
521
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,705
[phone ringing]
- Amy, I may not make it!
522
00:21:26,705 --> 00:21:29,457
You've got to kill the Alpha Funbag!
523
00:21:29,457 --> 00:21:31,126
The Alpha Who-bag?
524
00:21:31,126 --> 00:21:34,379
The leader! The leader! [choking]
525
00:21:34,379 --> 00:21:35,463
[static]
526
00:21:35,463 --> 00:21:36,756
That's it!
527
00:21:36,756 --> 00:21:39,885
Nobody gets to hug Kif to death but me!
528
00:21:40,677 --> 00:21:42,596
Prepare to die!
529
00:21:42,596 --> 00:21:44,222
You can't kill me!
530
00:21:44,222 --> 00:21:46,850
I'm the cutest thing in the universe!
531
00:21:46,850 --> 00:21:49,144
Wrong! Because to a mother,
532
00:21:49,144 --> 00:21:52,522
the cutest thing in the universe
is her own child.
533
00:21:52,522 --> 00:21:54,232
[choking]
534
00:21:54,232 --> 00:21:56,526
[Mandy choking]
[Cashew CuddleFish laughing]
535
00:21:56,526 --> 00:21:58,486
Mom! Stop it!
536
00:21:58,486 --> 00:21:59,696
Oops!
537
00:22:00,697 --> 00:22:02,490
[sniffles] Goodbye...
538
00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:04,367
[coughing]
539
00:22:04,367 --> 00:22:07,871
I know you said not to hug,
but we're gonna!
540
00:22:07,871 --> 00:22:10,081
Yeah, let's do.
541
00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:13,251
Yes. Come give me a nice hug.
542
00:22:13,251 --> 00:22:14,961
You're making this too easy!
543
00:22:14,961 --> 00:22:17,547
[evil laughter]
544
00:22:17,547 --> 00:22:20,634
[crunching]
[gagging] Hey!
545
00:22:20,634 --> 00:22:23,595
You're hugging too hard!
546
00:22:23,595 --> 00:22:25,388
[gasping, groans]
547
00:22:32,062 --> 00:22:34,272
[panting] Am I too late?
548
00:22:34,272 --> 00:22:38,235
No, but I may be a little
snuggle-shy for a while.
549
00:22:38,235 --> 00:22:41,738
That's okay.
Although, I did just get you a map suit.
550
00:22:43,031 --> 00:22:45,367
The Alpha Funbag is dead?
551
00:22:45,367 --> 00:22:47,410
How on earth did you do it?!
552
00:22:47,410 --> 00:22:50,413
Cute recognize cute.
553
00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:52,207
[popping]
554
00:22:52,207 --> 00:22:54,000
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
555
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,752
[screaming]
556
00:22:55,752 --> 00:22:57,003
[heavy thudding]
557
00:22:58,672 --> 00:23:01,758
Hm. It seems the CuddleFish
has been reduced
558
00:23:01,758 --> 00:23:03,385
to a common variant,
559
00:23:03,385 --> 00:23:05,470
with no special powers.
560
00:23:05,470 --> 00:23:07,138
That's a convenient relief.
561
00:23:07,138 --> 00:23:10,058
And look how many
rare ones there are now.
562
00:23:10,058 --> 00:23:11,476
We're all rich!
563
00:23:11,476 --> 00:23:13,728
[all cheering]
564
00:23:13,728 --> 00:23:17,649
They may be lousy toys,
but they're a great investment.
565
00:23:17,649 --> 00:23:19,943
And I collected 'em all!
566
00:23:19,943 --> 00:23:22,946
♪ gentle music playing ♪
567
00:23:25,031 --> 00:23:27,576
♪ operatic vocalizing ♪
568
00:23:27,576 --> 00:23:30,912
[bulldozer engine roaring]
569
00:23:30,912 --> 00:23:33,707
♪ Gotta collect 'em, gotta collect 'em ♪
570
00:23:33,707 --> 00:23:36,084
♪ Gotta collect 'em all! ♪
571
00:23:37,294 --> 00:23:40,297
♪
572
00:23:40,347 --> 00:23:44,897
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