All language subtitles for English_Teacher_S01E04

[birds chirping]

[moaning]

Hi, handsome.

- How are you?
- Good.

You slept here.

- Oh, I spent the night?
- You did.

- We got to do
less of these sleepovers.
- Why?

Because it makes us think
that we're boyfriends again.

And that means--

It's a sleepover.
It's fine, baby.

Don't call me "baby."

Call me "Evan."

- I'm Evan.
- You're not just "Evan" to me.

You're "baby," you're my baby.

We just let ourselves float
back into being boyfriends.

- Where is the hole?
- It's there...

And we're gonna
be boyfriends again,

and then guess what's
gonna have to happen--

we're gonna have to
break up again.

- You're good.
- Thank you.

You're not gonna be able

to find a real relationship

if we keep doing this.

I can't just be complacent
in my own life.

Shut up, rude. Being with me

is the only exciting part
of your life, remember that.

You are very interesting.

Do you have a clean toothbrush?

I don't want to use yours again.

Baby, I literally spat
in your mouth last night.

Remember?

That's different bacteria.

[laughs] You remember.

Don't go.

Let me give you head.

I have to go.

Wait. Kiss.

Hello?
I love being your boyfriend.

- Okay.
- Bye.

♪♪ Kyrie eleison down the road ♪

♪♪ That I must travel ♪

♪♪ Kyrie eleison
on a highway... ♪

[Evan]
Siri, text Malcolm.

"No, I don't have
your Apple Watch.

"I don't know when you would've
even left that at my place.

I'm always at your place,
honestly--"

[gunfire echoes]

[gunshots]

Wha-- Mr. Marquez, no--
What the fuck?

- Yo, what? Chill, queen.
- [yelps]

[whispering] Put your phones
on silent. Get down.

Is this gay panic?

[Evan]
Lay flat, lay flat.

Lay flat. What are you doing?!

What are you doing?

Mr. Marquez,
that's not a shooting.

It's gun club.

- What?
- [Jeff] Chill the F out.

Gun club?

Yeah, Coach Hillridge
started that shit back up.

[breathing heavily]

Why is...?

Why is there a gun club?

To...

shoot guns?

[Becca]
You should change that shirt.

I have a crop top in my locker.

Do you want it?

♪♪ My heart is old ♪

♪♪ It holds my memories ♪

♪♪ My body burns
a gem-like flame... ♪

Fire! Fire!

Barrels down.

♪♪ Soft machine
is where I find my-- ♪

[gunshot echoes]

We have to talk about the list.
Have you seen the list?

No, but whatever that is, I have
something way more important.

Gwen, I thought
I was gonna die this morning.

Is it the tonsil?
It's getting bigger.

[inhales] I'm sorry.

- Let me look, let me see.
- No... it's not that.

- Gun-- I heard gunshots.
- Oh, wait.

- Markie--
- [gasps] He shot people?

He's shooting people?
He's hunting people?

- No.
- Evan, Gwen,

please with the distractions.

I'm low blood sugar right now.

- Do you need an apple?
- Psst.

Ev, do you need a shirt?

I got some at home.

I have shirts at home, too.

- [Rick laughs]
- [Grant] Okay, so,

if you have any more ideas
to contribute,

just talk to Lacey by 4:00 p.m.

on Friday or forever
hold your peace.

And that is the last item
on my godforsaken agenda.

Okay, anything else? No?
Thank you, great. All right--

Hi! Hello.

No, Evan, no, please,
we're already running late.

This morning I was
involved in a shooting.

- [all] What?
- At least I thought

it was a shooting, okay?
It was actually

Markie's new gun club.

[all groaning, murmuring]

My life flashed before my eyes.

To hear the sound of gunshots

in a school environment
in this day and age--

Are you gonna say triggered?

[Grant]
Thank you, Evan, for expressing

your feelings about this.

We all understand,
we all hear you.

I thought
I was gonna die at work.

Do you guys fucking get it?

People are being
gunned down in America

- every day...
- Yes.

...and I thought
it was gonna be us today.

Okay, it felt so real.

We need to shut
this gun club down.

Not happening, buddy, seriously.

The firearms safety program,

it was shut down
in the dark days of '99, okay?

I am not about to let it

- get railroaded again.
- Okay, fine. So actually

we can just wait for
one of your little gun protégés

to walk through that door
with a semiautomatic--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, that is not--

Evan, it's a firearm safety
program.

Safety.

It's designed to protect, man.

It's all about
teaching these kids

how to do the right thing
with these guns

that are already out there.
This is Texas.

I-I can't even believe other
people are okay with this.

- You all support this?
- [others murmuring]

It's not a democracy!
It doesn't matter who's okay

with it
and who's not okay with it.

What matters is
that it is legal and it's

school board approved and that
is the end of this conversation.

And for God's sakes,
change your fucking shirt.

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean
to use the f-word.

I'm so sorry. Please, Gwen.

Can I have that apple now,
please, all right?

Dismissed, go.
Inspire young minds, please.

Oh, my God, I got to go.

My mom and dad are
getting back together.

- Marquez? Evan?
- What?

Are you serious in there, man?

Every time I try
and do something important

at this school,

it's like you want
to get it shut down.

I can't even talk to you
about this, Markie.

This is not a discussion.

This is not some cute thing
that you're doing wrong.

- This is people's lives.
- Well, hold on, man.

You're hot and bothered
right now.

And where do
the false equivalencies

- end with you?
- Where did you learn
that expression?

I'm doing, like,
a Harvard Extension

- online thing, I'm--
- I'm so impressed!

I did UT online. I'm so in debt.

There's no false equivalency,
Markie. A gun is a gun.

You give a kid a gun,
you're giving a kid a gun.

And now everybody
actually thinks

you're a piece of shit, so...

You are adorable
when you're angry.

I am giving them an education.
I'm an educator, okay?

Save this activist thing

- for Facebook.
- Nobody's on Facebook, Markie.

How old are you?
I'm shutting it down.

[scoffs] I'm your age.

No, you're not!

Can we talk about the list now?

There's a list online

of the hottest teachers ranked.

What?
And what, you're number one?

- I'm 26.
- What?

- That's crazy. You're so hot.
- Yeah.

You must be reading it ba--
Maybe 26 is the highest number.

No, I know. No, but I'm not
reading it wrong. I'm 26th.

It's insane, I'm going insane.

- Where did you find this?
- The student Discord.

Rick texted it to me.
He's on there under,

- like, a fake student name...
- He should not be doing that.

- Anyway I'm just
shutting it down.
- You're gonna shut it down

- 'cause you're low on the list.
- No, for feminist reasons.

This is terrible.

Not because you're number 26?

No, why would I care
about that?!

How do you shut down a list
that you're not even supposed

- to know about?
- No, that's the question now.

Listen, this gun stuff,
I'm serious.

Like, you, me,
all of these kids,

we could be dead right now.

34 years old, that would be it.

Yeah, I switched to saying

I'm 32 recently, but yeah.

I'm not just watching this stuff

happen on the news anymore, okay?

I'm not gonna be a statistic.

I'm doing something about this.

Wow, that's good. You say that,

and I'm, like, I'm on your side.

I'm not gonna let you guys
become statistics.

I'm doing something about this.

Yeah, I'm gonna do something
about this dick.

That's what you got out of that,
Frank? Come on, man.

I mean, it's a gun safety
course, Mr. Marquez.

You think
shutting that down's gonna

do anything about gun violence?

- It's the principle of it.
- He's trying to take a stand.

[Evan]
I am taking a stand, Jeff.

I'm taking a stand, okay?

I don't care if you guys get it.

Of course we get it.

We've been doing drills
our entire lives.

We're used to it.

You shouldn't be used to it!

That is so depressing.

- It's not that depressing.
- [Hartman] Mr. Marquez,

I'm with you.
I'm super anti-gun.

Hartman,
we know you're anti-gun.

Your parents are, like, hippies.

They are, like,
anti-electricity.

They're not anti-electricity,
they're pro-wind turbines.

Look, I get that you guys
have gotten used to this,

but you shouldn't be
used to it, okay?

To me, if I grew up
in this environment,

I would feel insane.

Like, you are probably having
levels of cortisol

in your body that you don't
even realize are there.

What's cortisol?

There's really nothing
we can do about it.

It's like a...
it's like a shark attack.

It's like a force of nature
kind of thing.

It's not a force of nature.

This is what I'm saying.

This is a completely
preventable problem.

But it's not preventable
if we can't get the government

to do anything about it.

The gun lobby's too powerful.

They killed my stepdad.

Oh, my God, Jeff, that's crazy.

This is the kind of stuff
I'm talking about.

Nah, I'm just playing with you,
but you know the vibes.

Jeff, you have trauma.

- From being so cool.
- Who said you're cool?

I mean, safety-wise,
there's that one door

that has metal detectors.

Becca, nobody goes
through that door.

You can't bring
metal through it.

No, you can go through it,
it just beeps.

I don't know, I just feel
like when I was your guys' age,

like... if we wanted
to change something,

we would do something about it,
we would speak truth to power,

you know?

Like, about what?

Like, we would protest, like,

Bush getting re-elected.

We were trying to get
Kerry in office.

[Jeff]
Did it work?

- [sighs]
- [Becca] Oh, my God!

I just thought of something.
I'm a genius.

What if we did a protest?

But, like, to show that
we disagree with the gun club.

Right, well, that is what I've
been saying this whole time.

- But, yes, sure.
- Okay, but if we're gonna
do a protest,

it needs to be inside,
because my hair will get insane.

Oh, my cousin just did
a drunk-driving protest

at her school, we could try
to do something like that.

But I wouldn't know
how to organize that.

What is it hard to organize?

You guys are on all these
group chats, right?

I'm not in any group chats.

I'm a one-on-one guy.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dude, is this one of those
drunk-driving things?

It's an "anti-getting killed
by guns" protest.

The kids are making their voices
heard, I'm joining them.

That's good, I'm so anti-death.

So I'm, like, so on board.

Ghosts, the duality
of life and death.

Día de los Muertos.

It's an anti-gun club protest.

Oh, it's not reading like that.

What is going on?
You look like Erin Brockovich.

- I always look like this.
- [Rick] Lies.

She's doing it
because of the list.

No! But, seriously,
who is making that list?

Right? Because we know
who is making the hot list.

Who makes it?

- Who is it?
- Um, I don't know.

- Damn it.
- [Evan] Nobody knows
who makes the list.

♪ ♪

- What the hell...
- Oh, God.

...is this?

Just a little protest.
Yeah, that's right.

Some of the kids
in my program heard about

what y'all were up to,
and decided they wanted

to make their voices known, too.

You're doing a protest?
What are you protesting?

Protesting y'all
for bullying us.

- Bullying you?
- Yeah.

Trying to bully us
out of having guns.

If we can't have guns,
then we can't protect ourselves.

Protect yourselves
against what, Markie?

People with guns.

You're saying if you can't
protect yourself from guns,

then you're dead,
so guns are the problem.

If there were no guns,
there would be no problem.

Are you starting to see that?

I'm starting to see
that you're the problem.

You don't understand
that we already live in a world

- where guns exist, Evan.
- [Grant]
Mr. Marquez, Coach Hillridge!

We already live in a...
Guns are already here.

Coach!

- What?
- What?!

- What?!
- Let's go.

- [sighs]
- [Markie]
Yeah, we're not even meeting

- on school grounds!
- You are promoting death.

- I am not promoting death.
- You are promoting death.

Please, please,
just try to be civil.

- Civil, civil, civil.
- [Markie and Evan arguing]

[Evan] What does a gun do
other than kill people?

Uh, protects people!
It protects people!

- From what?
- From people who are...

- From people who have guns...
- ...who don't know how to use--

- ...to kill people!
- You know, Evan, man,

I'm trying to do
something for the kids.

I'm trying to
give 'em a skill, a lesson.

Yeah, but the problem is,
when you do something like that,

it doesn't work
'cause you're an idiot.

[Grant]
Markie, Markie,

Markie, Markie, M-Markie.

Oh, God, Evan.

Oh, God, I feel bad
for saying that.

Look...

...politically,
I agree with you.

You're anti-gun?

Eh, you know. But, you know.

See, I can't
track your politics.

I do it on purpose.

I can't. So you have to, mm.

Look, I can't do anything
about it.

The-the rules are very clear,

and, uh, I just have
to stay out of it

in every possible way.

- I just have to.
- That's your favorite
thing to do.

Basically, yes.

All right? So the club stays.

Unless there's an active threat,
which there is not.

What constitutes
an active threat?

Evan, do not do anything stupid.

What? I wasn't even
thinking of doing anything.

I'm literally asking,
what's an active threat?

Now I'm thinking something.

Hello?

Crime and Punishment.

An incredible book,
but what if that were you?

What if you were Raskolnikov

and you could
get away with anything?

- [chuckles]
- We all have this

voice inside of us that's kind
of dark and weird and scary,

and society tells us to
push that down.

I say,
"Eff you, society." Right?

We got to express ourselves.

That's what
our friend Fyodor did.

Worked out pretty well for him.

And this book sold
a lot of copies.

Guys, this is
English class, okay?

This is a safe space
for you to say anything,

no matter how scary, how dark.

I want you, when you
write in here, to forget

anything that anyone
reading this might think

about what you're writing
and just write.

You're talking about
creative writing?

Creative writing.
That's what we're doing.

Three pages of creative writing,
and the subject is:

If you could get away
with any heinous act,

what would you do?

Really get into this one, guys.

Go wild.

It's gonna be fun.
I want to hear

some nasty stuff, okay?

And if it's
a little bit of this...

you know, I don't want to
say the word for this,

but if these are involved,

maybe a little bit of
extra credit.

Question. Is this for a grade?

Just pass/fail, yeah,
and as long as it's

violent and heinous,
it's a pass.

So, like, is
this double-spaced or...

I don't care.

So, I don't get it.

Like, you want someone to
write an essay

- about killing you?
- No, it doesn't need to
be about me.

It just has to
be something, like,

- threatening for the school.
- Mm.

- Yo, where's Nick?
- He's at Buffalo Wild Wings

with his work friends.
Or his ex-work friends,

'cause they still work there,
but he got laid off, obviously.

Glad I don't have a day job.

- Hi.
- [Rick] Malcolm.

- [Gwen] Come on in.
- Oh, God.

[Malcolm]
Oh, my fucking God.

Wait, what happened to
your yard?

Were you bombed?
It looks horrible.

No, Nick's building a pool.

By hand?

Why is that what
everybody focuses on?

Pay, pay people to do that.

Malcolm, check it out.

I found these rocks in the hole.
They look like teeth.

- Oh, those are teeth.
- What?

[whispering]
You invited him?

Yeah, he said you guys
are back together.

We're not back together.

What? He sent me
a picture of you in bed.

- [Malcolm] Gwen?
- Yeah?

This look, very sexy. I love it.

- It's a new for you, right?
- I knew you'd like it.

- You usually look
kind of not sexy.
- Okay.

- [Malcolm] No, it looks nice.
- She's doing it

because she fell
six spots down the list.

- [Gwen] No, I'm not.
- Oh-oh, my God. Oh, my God.

What, what? What?

- Active threat. Active threat.
- What?

Active threat.

[Evan]
Th-This is it. This is the one.

This is... this is...

really intense. I mean,
this is concerning, maybe.

- Like, how?
- Like look at this. He goes,

"They'll pay.
They'll pay with their lives."

That doesn't seem bad.

"This is me talking.
This isn't fiction anymore.

"I've got an unslakable thirst

that can only be
quenched by blood."

Blood? It could be a vampire.

Ultimately compelling.
I mean, like, I'm hooked.

This is gonna work.

- We're shutting it down.
- Incredible. Shut it down!

As you all know,
an active threat

was found
in our community last night.

A number of measures
have been taken.

Of course,
the student in question,

who will not be named here,

will be entering
immediate evaluation.

Also, metal detectors

will be installed
at the remaining entrances

throughout the school.

This is awful news.

And I suppose this part goes
without saying,

but effective immediately,
the gun club...

Firearms safety program.

...will be
suspended indefinitely.

- [sighs of relief]
- [woman] What? No...

- There it is.
- Okay.

And that's how
gun club dies again,

not with a bang
but with a whimper.

Taken out back and just

George and Lennie.
Just that's it, we're done?

Markie, if... please.
If you make a speech,

- then Evan has to
make a speech and...
- Yeah, sure, sure.

- No speeches while
I'm speaking, okay?
- Okay, fine, fine, fine.

I shouldn't have to
say that. All right.

Anyway, gun thing is canceled.

Okay?

However,

per the district's instructions,

thanks to Evan here...

Whoo-hoo! Evan's our guy.

...we will now begin immediate

firearms training
for all faculty.

- What?
- I'm sorry, what?

Never mind, that's bad.

Each classroom will now
have a gun in a lockbox

to be accessed
in case of a threat.

- Okay, I'd like to
opt out of that option.
- Too bad.

Firearm training
starts tomorrow,

and Markie will lead it.

Oh. You're all in good hands.

Okay, you know what?
You know what?

[clears throat]
I have something to say.

Is this not a speech?

I don't think this is all bad,

even though, you know,
we all have to

learn how to use guns now,
because the kids

no longer have guns,

and that is really what
this was all about to me,

and it should have been
about that to you all, too.

- So a success was achieved.
- [Rick] Legendary.

Nice one, buddy.

[Grant]
And last but not least,

free writing assignments
will now be banned.

- Yes.
- That's terrible.

That is good, actually,

with how this all shook out.

Hey, Jeff. Hey.

What's up, Ms. Sanders?

So, you like making lists, huh?

How do you know about that?

I know about it 'cause I've been
working on this all week.

And Becca literally
just told me that it's you.

- Damn.
- Listen,

Jeff... [sighs]

I just, I-I just
want to know, like,

why am I low on the list?
Just out of curiosity.

I don't actually care,
just I'm curious.

You want the truth?

Yeah, of course. Yes.

Well, ever since
I saw the list was

affecting how you dress,

I started manipulating you.

Sick. What?

What? No, no.
Like, I want you to dress well.

Elegant.
You're a 34-year-old woman--

- 32.
- You still have nearly half
your life ahead of you.

- You think I'm gonna live to 60?
- You don't have to wear
plain dresses

all the time just because
you have a tough job

and you're
boyfriend's going insane.

What?

Look, I actually put together

- some looks for you.
- You put together some looks?

Oh, wow, that's... Okay.

What do you got here?

I like that blazer. That's good.

I like that belt, too,
that high. That's good.

God, I like these shoes, though.

Looks cute with the...
with the wedge.

Those are Giuseppe Zanotti.

"Zaseppe" Zanotti?

No. Stop. Okay.

Email this to me, but seriously,

this is wrong, Jeff.

You know what?
I'm gonna give you detention

'cause you shouldn't be
manipulating teachers.

You shouldn't be
o-objectifying teachers.

Okay, I'm just saying
you look good in teal.

Shut up. But thank you.

What the fuck, Mr. Marquez?

Oh, Pablo, hey.
I-I'm so sorry about

all this,

but th-that was really
a particularly violent essay.

What's wrong with violent?
I was inspired by

the concept of murder.

You were what?

I was inspired by
the concept of murder.

Well, look, I mean,

it's all gonna be fine.

You're under 18,

this is not gonna go
on your permanent record,

and I even wrote a letter
for your file

taking full responsibility for

the assignment. You'll be fine.

Now I have to go to therapy
three times a week.

Yeah. I mean, people pay a lot
of money for therapy, right?

You're getting it for free.
[chuckles]

I guess now I know

who to talk to
about my intrusive thoughts.

What intrusive thoughts
do you have?

Just stuff
about buying a new car.

Right. Exactly.

So we can
call it a win-win, right?

- Okay.
- I guess we're cool.

Don't get on my list, though.

I can't believe we have to
get firearms training now.

Markie's gonna fucking shoot us.

It's fine,
we'll just get through it.

You're just saying that
'cause it's your fault.

I was trying to do
something good.

What if we all get into
gunfights, like, every day now?

Yeah, that would suck.

Well, at least we get to be
outside. We're together.

See, this outfit is working.

I know! Ah!

All right.

The only thing stronger than
a bad guy with a gun is...

A girl with a gun.

...a good guy with a gun.

Which one are you?

Listen, Evan. I know, man.

I know you're pissed at me,

I know you think
you won something.

I did win, okay?

In my own way because, no,

I didn't end gun violence,

but I got some guns

out of some kids' hands,
and that is good, Markie.

- I made the world
a better place.
- I don't care

how much shit you give me,
we're on the same side,

okay, buddy? Seriously,

we're the good guys here, man.

Think about it like this.

You've worked your whole life
to become a power bottom,

now you get to be
a power bottom with a gun.

You think I'm a bottom?
After this whole week?

- [Markie] Honestly?
- He's only bottomed, like, once.

Can we please shoot, please?

Evan, can you... can...?

Markie, please.

Here we go. This is what

- we're here for. Aim--
- Markie.

- What?
- I don't need your advice.

I know you need my advice.

- Please back up.
- Buddy--

This is very straightforward.

- It's not very straightforward.
- There's the bull's-eye,

here's the gun, I'm doing it.

- Back up.
- No, it's called recoil.

- [shouts]
- [Rick] Oh, shit, man! Whoa!

- Okay. You okay?
- [Gwen] Did you
break your wrist?

- [Markie] Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

- You okay?
- I don't know. I don't know.

Actually...

Hey, look at that. Bull's-eye.

Huh? Look at you.

Feel that power, buddy.

Oh, hell yeah.

♪♪ Kyrie eleison down the road
that I must travel ♪

♪♪ Kyrie eleison through
the darkness of the night ♪

♪♪ Kyrie eleison, where I'm
going, will you follow? ♪

♪♪ Kyrie eleison
on a highway in the light ♪

♪♪ Kyrie eleison down the road
that I must travel ♪

♪♪ Kyrie eleison through
the darkness of the night ♪

♪♪ Kyrie eleison, where I'm
going, will you follow? ♪

♪♪ Kyrie eleison
on a highway in the light ♪

- ♪♪ Kyrie eleison down the road
that I must travel ♪
- ♪♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪♪ Yeah, yeah,
will you follow? ♪
- ♪♪ Kyrie. ♪