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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:48,997 --> 00:00:53,164 This is dj suckaslam spinnin' an old school tonight, 2 00:00:53,165 --> 00:00:57,031 inviting all of New York to forget your y2k worries, 3 00:00:57,032 --> 00:00:58,464 turn up your radio 4 00:00:58,465 --> 00:00:59,999 and help good old Chuck brown "bust loose." 5 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,680 And help good old Chuck brown "bust loose." 6 00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:07,432 Oh, yeah! Bust it up, New York! 7 00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:10,966 ♪ I feel like bustin' loose bustin' loose ♪ 8 00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:15,968 ♪ Bustin' loose in the evenin' bustin' loose can be pleasin' ♪ 9 00:01:17,769 --> 00:01:20,768 ♪ Talkin' about bustin' loose ♪ 10 00:01:20,769 --> 00:01:23,302 ♪ Bustin' loose in the meantime ♪ 11 00:01:23,303 --> 00:01:26,236 ♪ Bustin' loose make you feel fine ♪ 12 00:01:26,237 --> 00:01:29,236 ♪ Talkin' about bustin' loose ♪ 13 00:01:29,237 --> 00:01:29,999 ♪ Bustin' loose to my love Jones ♪ 14 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,436 ♪ Bustin' loose to my love Jones ♪ 15 00:01:31,437 --> 00:01:34,405 ♪ Bustin' loose to each his own ♪ 16 00:01:36,038 --> 00:01:38,238 ♪ Gimme the bridge, y'all ♪ 17 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,139 ♪ Hey, Leroy ♪ 18 00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:51,006 ♪ Gimme some of that horn right here ♪ 19 00:01:58,308 --> 00:01:59,999 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 20 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:00,500 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 21 00:02:03,142 --> 00:02:05,876 ♪ Give me some of that horn ♪ 22 00:02:07,742 --> 00:02:09,775 ♪ Wah, wah, wow! ♪ 23 00:02:09,776 --> 00:02:11,942 Taxi! 24 00:02:11,943 --> 00:02:13,310 Oooh. Oh! 25 00:02:16,277 --> 00:02:20,811 ♪ I feel like bustin' loose bustin' loose, y'all ♪ 26 00:02:33,247 --> 00:02:35,279 Can I give you a ride? 27 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,112 The way you drive? 28 00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:41,913 ♪ I feel like bustin' loose bustin' loose, now ♪ 29 00:02:41,914 --> 00:02:44,047 ♪ Bustin' loose when you want to deal ♪ 30 00:02:44,048 --> 00:02:45,915 ♪ Bustin' loose doin' what you feel ♪ 31 00:02:47,782 --> 00:02:50,947 ♪ Talkin' about bustin' loose, girl ♪ 32 00:02:50,948 --> 00:02:52,982 ♪ Bustin' loose when you want to deal ♪ 33 00:02:52,983 --> 00:02:54,916 ♪ Bustin' loose doin' what you feel ♪ 34 00:02:56,750 --> 00:02:58,883 ♪ Talkin' about bustin' loose, now ♪ 35 00:02:58,884 --> 00:02:59,999 ♪ Bustin' loose when you want to sing ♪ 36 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:00,883 ♪ Bustin' loose when you want to sing ♪ 37 00:03:00,884 --> 00:03:03,151 ♪ Bustin' loose baby, do your thing ♪ 38 00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,017 ♪ Talkin' about bustin' loose, girl ♪ 39 00:03:07,018 --> 00:03:09,784 ♪ Bustin' loose when you want to sing ♪ 40 00:03:09,785 --> 00:03:12,752 ♪ Bustin' loose baby, do your thing ♪ 41 00:03:14,752 --> 00:03:16,787 ♪ Gimme the bridge, y'all ♪ 42 00:03:21,154 --> 00:03:22,986 So how you doing? 43 00:03:22,987 --> 00:03:26,188 Wow, you sure got a lot of confidence. 44 00:03:27,188 --> 00:03:28,620 Ralph. 45 00:03:28,621 --> 00:03:29,999 Ralph kramden. 46 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:30,654 Ralph kramden. 47 00:03:30,655 --> 00:03:33,789 Operator of this machine and, uh... 48 00:03:34,855 --> 00:03:36,589 This machine. 49 00:03:38,056 --> 00:03:39,122 Alice. 50 00:03:39,123 --> 00:03:40,889 Alice Gibson. 51 00:03:40,890 --> 00:03:42,923 What's up, Alice Gibson? 52 00:03:46,024 --> 00:03:47,589 So, Ralph kramden, 53 00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:48,890 are you taking me to Brooklyn, or what? 54 00:03:48,891 --> 00:03:50,657 I'll take you anywhere you wanna go. 55 00:03:50,658 --> 00:03:52,724 Crown heights. Red hook. Bushwick. 56 00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:55,259 I'll take you to the moon, Alice. Come on. 57 00:03:58,125 --> 00:03:59,999 ♪ Ooh, yeah ♪ 58 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,226 ♪ Ooh, yeah ♪ 59 00:04:00,227 --> 00:04:03,025 I hope you're not going to lose your job over this. 60 00:04:03,026 --> 00:04:04,292 So what if I do? 61 00:04:04,293 --> 00:04:05,592 I mean, this right here, 62 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:06,659 this whole bus-driver thing? 63 00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:07,592 This is temporary. 64 00:04:07,593 --> 00:04:09,126 I'm an entrepreneur. 65 00:04:09,127 --> 00:04:12,028 And, uh, this is going to make me a millionaire. 66 00:04:13,928 --> 00:04:16,661 "Kramden international y2k ultra deluxe survival kit"? 67 00:04:16,662 --> 00:04:17,628 Yeah. 68 00:04:17,629 --> 00:04:18,961 And when y2k hit, 69 00:04:18,962 --> 00:04:21,028 you gonna need all that stuff in there. 70 00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:22,995 You think y2k is gonna be that bad? 71 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,696 You ain't been watching CNN? 72 00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:26,295 I mean, when every computer in the world 73 00:04:26,296 --> 00:04:28,762 shuts down on new year's Eve, 74 00:04:28,763 --> 00:04:29,999 that kit, plus a check or money order 75 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,263 that kit, plus a check or money order 76 00:04:31,264 --> 00:04:33,863 for $29.99, plus shipping and handling, 77 00:04:33,864 --> 00:04:35,631 is the only thing that is going to protect you 78 00:04:35,632 --> 00:04:36,830 against total chaos. 79 00:04:36,831 --> 00:04:38,764 Wow. Total chaos? 80 00:04:38,765 --> 00:04:41,198 Yeah, I mean, you know, if I'm lucky. 81 00:04:41,199 --> 00:04:44,598 I guess my dream's a little bit more practical. 82 00:04:44,599 --> 00:04:45,732 Oh, yeah? 83 00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:46,899 Like what? 84 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,665 My own home. 85 00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:49,799 Nothing fancy, 86 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,033 just a little place all my own. 87 00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:53,200 You know? 88 00:04:53,201 --> 00:04:54,800 No landlord 89 00:04:54,801 --> 00:04:58,200 or haggling with the super to fix the pipes 90 00:04:58,201 --> 00:04:59,934 or rent increases. 91 00:04:59,935 --> 00:05:00,000 Just my name on a deed 92 00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:01,600 just my name on a deed 93 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:04,001 and, well, some lawn chairs on the front porch 94 00:05:04,002 --> 00:05:06,535 so I can watch my kids play ball in the street. 95 00:05:06,536 --> 00:05:07,803 You got kids? 96 00:05:09,503 --> 00:05:11,103 I'm playing. 97 00:05:13,171 --> 00:05:15,736 Can't you feel it, Alice? 98 00:05:15,737 --> 00:05:18,170 We're on the verge of a new millennium. 99 00:05:18,171 --> 00:05:19,737 You need to stick with your boy, 100 00:05:19,738 --> 00:05:21,237 because I'm about to blow up! 101 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,271 I mean, you'll see, this job, 102 00:05:24,272 --> 00:05:26,971 these empty pockets, this waistline, gone! 103 00:05:26,972 --> 00:05:28,238 Yeah. 104 00:05:28,239 --> 00:05:29,999 One day... 105 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:30,139 One day... 106 00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:32,773 I'm gonna own this town! 107 00:05:34,473 --> 00:05:35,872 Is that what you think? 108 00:05:35,873 --> 00:05:37,473 I own this town? 109 00:05:37,474 --> 00:05:38,873 I just asked you to talk to the super 110 00:05:38,874 --> 00:05:39,873 about the pipes, Ralph. 111 00:05:39,874 --> 00:05:40,907 That's all. 112 00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:41,873 Today? 113 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,140 The mets are in the seventh game 114 00:05:43,141 --> 00:05:44,507 of the world series, 115 00:05:44,508 --> 00:05:45,674 and you know this, Alice, 116 00:05:45,675 --> 00:05:47,235 and you want me to think about plumbing? 117 00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:53,709 Okay, so it make a little noise, but so do you, 118 00:05:53,710 --> 00:05:55,042 and I've learned to live with that. 119 00:05:55,043 --> 00:05:56,243 Ralph. 120 00:05:58,043 --> 00:05:59,999 Fine. But I'm not dragging the super into this. 121 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,943 Fine. But I'm not dragging the super into this. 122 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,510 I'm calling my boy Norton. 123 00:06:02,511 --> 00:06:03,077 He works in the sewers. 124 00:06:03,078 --> 00:06:04,578 He knows pipes. 125 00:06:06,212 --> 00:06:07,745 Yo, Norton! 126 00:06:09,546 --> 00:06:11,445 What's up with the mets? 127 00:06:11,446 --> 00:06:12,645 Today's the day, baby! 128 00:06:12,646 --> 00:06:13,678 Yeah, I'm ready. 129 00:06:13,679 --> 00:06:14,746 Oh. 130 00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,112 Oh, my god! 131 00:06:17,113 --> 00:06:18,153 What did you do to my baby? 132 00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:21,646 I didn't do anything! 133 00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:23,513 Never mind them, ralphie. 134 00:06:23,514 --> 00:06:25,014 I got a new riddle for you. 135 00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:26,914 A man was born in 1955, what--? 136 00:06:26,915 --> 00:06:28,081 Not now! 137 00:06:28,082 --> 00:06:29,581 Alice wants you to get down here 138 00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:30,000 and take a look at these pipes. 139 00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:30,881 And take a look at these pipes. 140 00:06:30,882 --> 00:06:31,881 She's driving me crazy. 141 00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:32,749 All right. 142 00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:37,849 Don't come down that-- 143 00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:39,449 That thing is gonna kill you. 144 00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:41,084 He's coming down the fire escape. 145 00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:44,116 Hey, Alice. 146 00:06:44,117 --> 00:06:45,583 Hey, ed. 147 00:06:45,584 --> 00:06:46,516 Come on, Ralph. 148 00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:48,117 A man was born in 1955. 149 00:06:48,118 --> 00:06:49,983 Today is his 18th birthday. 150 00:06:49,984 --> 00:06:51,552 How's that possible, huh? 151 00:06:53,585 --> 00:06:55,951 1955 is not the year he was born. 152 00:06:55,952 --> 00:06:57,118 It's the number 153 00:06:57,119 --> 00:06:59,485 of the hospital room he was born in. 154 00:06:59,486 --> 00:06:59,999 Damn, you smart. 155 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,152 Damn, you smart. 156 00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:03,919 What seems to be the problem, Alice? 157 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,153 Listen, ed. 158 00:07:10,621 --> 00:07:11,620 I'm on it. 159 00:07:11,621 --> 00:07:12,721 He's on it. 160 00:07:12,722 --> 00:07:14,121 Yeah, why does he gotta be on it? 161 00:07:14,122 --> 00:07:15,388 What happened to you? 162 00:07:15,389 --> 00:07:16,722 Knock, knock. 163 00:07:16,723 --> 00:07:17,855 Morning, kramdens. 164 00:07:17,856 --> 00:07:18,888 Oh, hey, trix. 165 00:07:18,889 --> 00:07:20,089 What you got there, trixie? 166 00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:21,588 I made French toast. 167 00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:23,589 Alice, I tried this new powdered sugar, 168 00:07:23,590 --> 00:07:25,756 tastymeds. It's the one they give to the diabetics 169 00:07:25,757 --> 00:07:27,389 right when they wake up from the coma. 170 00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:28,723 Ninety-nine cents. 171 00:07:28,724 --> 00:07:29,999 There's a slight little aftertaste, 172 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:30,024 there's a slight little aftertaste, 173 00:07:30,025 --> 00:07:31,457 but it's still good, 174 00:07:31,458 --> 00:07:33,590 right, Ralph? Mm. See? 175 00:07:33,591 --> 00:07:35,124 Trixie makes ed French toast. 176 00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:37,124 That's cause Ed's not on trimspa. 177 00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:38,758 Oh, you got jokes. 178 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,424 You just a regular upn sitcom, huh, Alice? 179 00:07:40,425 --> 00:07:42,158 I gotta get to these pipes. 180 00:07:42,159 --> 00:07:43,891 Look, just fix it, okay? 181 00:07:43,892 --> 00:07:45,692 It'd be good to have some peace and quiet 182 00:07:45,693 --> 00:07:46,992 around here. 183 00:07:46,993 --> 00:07:48,592 Yo! 184 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:49,826 Oh, my god! Yo! 185 00:07:49,827 --> 00:07:50,992 Oh, my god! 186 00:07:50,993 --> 00:07:52,593 Ed, what'd you do now? 187 00:07:52,594 --> 00:07:54,460 They wanted me to fix their pipes. 188 00:07:54,461 --> 00:07:55,727 Yeah, not knock a big hole in the wall! 189 00:07:55,728 --> 00:07:57,594 That's where the pipes are, Ralph. 190 00:07:57,595 --> 00:07:58,894 If you'd just talked to the landlord 191 00:07:58,895 --> 00:07:59,999 like I asked you to in the first place... 192 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,594 Like I asked you to in the first place... 193 00:08:00,595 --> 00:08:01,861 That's a much better idea, 194 00:08:01,862 --> 00:08:03,695 'cause I do my best work down below. 195 00:08:03,696 --> 00:08:04,995 Ooh, now that is true, baby. 196 00:08:04,996 --> 00:08:05,995 You did say that. 197 00:08:05,996 --> 00:08:07,096 I mean, I'm a professional. 198 00:08:07,097 --> 00:08:08,695 People always call me 199 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,096 and want me to work on their plumbing all... 200 00:08:10,097 --> 00:08:12,863 Get out! 201 00:08:12,864 --> 00:08:15,663 It's all right. It's okay. 202 00:08:15,664 --> 00:08:17,130 Ah, ah, ah, ah... 203 00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:19,098 Take the wife, leave the French toast. 204 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:19,997 Oh, man. 205 00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:21,031 See you at the diner, Alice. 206 00:08:21,032 --> 00:08:22,797 Later, trix. 207 00:08:22,798 --> 00:08:24,031 Hey, Ralph, 208 00:08:24,032 --> 00:08:27,332 after work we gonna watch that game-- out! 209 00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:28,565 Go, mets. 210 00:08:28,566 --> 00:08:29,999 You are certifiable, you know that? 211 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,766 You are certifiable, you know that? 212 00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:32,999 You ought to have your head examined. 213 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,033 I'll have my head examined anywhere in the United States. 214 00:08:35,034 --> 00:08:36,567 And you know what they're gonna find 215 00:08:36,568 --> 00:08:37,734 when they look in there? 216 00:08:37,735 --> 00:08:38,735 Nothing! 217 00:08:41,601 --> 00:08:43,867 I asked you to do one thing. One thing! 218 00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:46,701 You never appreciate anything. You go on and on. 219 00:08:46,702 --> 00:08:47,769 I can't take it anymore! 220 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:49,835 You gotta go. I am late. 221 00:08:49,836 --> 00:08:50,802 Here's your lunch. 222 00:08:50,803 --> 00:08:52,102 Hey, tasty cakes. 223 00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:54,469 Yeah. Be careful. 224 00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:56,371 Always am. 225 00:09:01,738 --> 00:09:03,804 Stay out of the bus Lane! 226 00:09:03,805 --> 00:09:05,604 Hey! 227 00:09:05,605 --> 00:09:07,404 Vivek, my man! 228 00:09:07,405 --> 00:09:09,338 The mets are going all the way, Ralph. 229 00:09:09,339 --> 00:09:10,739 You'll do very well. 230 00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:13,039 Oh, yeah. You know that. 231 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,839 Do you have a wager on the game tonight, Ralph? 232 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,339 Well, no, not exactly. 233 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:18,806 Let's just say I'm taking advantage 234 00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:20,973 of certain economic opportunities. 235 00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:22,740 Or, as my investment guru... 236 00:09:22,741 --> 00:09:24,340 Bart Roberts, says, 237 00:09:24,341 --> 00:09:26,474 "kick open the door 238 00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:28,640 and opportunity don't have to knock." 239 00:09:28,641 --> 00:09:29,999 Heh, heh. Yeah, Bart Roberts. 240 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,120 Heh, heh. Yeah, Bart Roberts. 241 00:09:34,377 --> 00:09:35,809 Order up! 242 00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:39,476 Girls, come over here. 243 00:09:39,477 --> 00:09:40,642 Come over here. 244 00:09:40,643 --> 00:09:42,743 I have something to show you. 245 00:09:42,744 --> 00:09:45,577 This is your new uniform. 246 00:09:45,578 --> 00:09:47,344 Oh, no. No. 247 00:09:47,345 --> 00:09:48,744 You don't like it? Mm-mm. 248 00:09:48,745 --> 00:09:50,711 But I like the neckline, the v-- 249 00:09:50,712 --> 00:09:52,611 The health inspector is coming soon. 250 00:09:52,612 --> 00:09:54,711 We got to keep everything clean. 251 00:09:54,712 --> 00:09:55,911 Now, I'm gonna show you something. 252 00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:57,912 You see this? 253 00:09:57,913 --> 00:09:58,879 Ah. 254 00:09:58,880 --> 00:09:59,999 And then... 255 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,013 And then... 256 00:10:00,014 --> 00:10:01,946 See? Spotless. 257 00:10:01,947 --> 00:10:03,546 Voilà. 258 00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:04,613 Yes. 259 00:10:04,614 --> 00:10:05,713 Excuse me! 260 00:10:05,714 --> 00:10:07,948 I'd... I'd like to order. 261 00:10:09,682 --> 00:10:10,947 Alice, please take him, 262 00:10:10,948 --> 00:10:12,314 because I can tell 263 00:10:12,315 --> 00:10:13,814 he's gonna get on my nerves. 264 00:10:13,815 --> 00:10:16,315 Hi. How can I help you today? 265 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,281 Yes, uh... Alice. 266 00:10:18,282 --> 00:10:19,782 I would like an egg-white omelet, 267 00:10:19,783 --> 00:10:22,015 and if I could get a clean glass of water. 268 00:10:22,016 --> 00:10:24,282 Well, precious, we don't separate our eggs here, 269 00:10:24,283 --> 00:10:26,383 and that's about as clean as it's gonna get. 270 00:10:26,384 --> 00:10:27,750 Well, what do you have 271 00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:29,999 that's similar to an egg-white omelet? 272 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,517 That's similar to an egg-white omelet? 273 00:10:30,518 --> 00:10:31,751 Eggs. 274 00:10:31,752 --> 00:10:33,584 Well, then by all means, 275 00:10:33,585 --> 00:10:35,884 why don't you just bring me whatever's convenient for you. 276 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,451 Ah, do I need to take off my heels? 277 00:10:38,452 --> 00:10:40,451 No, no, not yet. 278 00:10:40,452 --> 00:10:41,718 I've angered you. 279 00:10:41,719 --> 00:10:42,952 I'm sorry. 280 00:10:42,953 --> 00:10:44,386 It happens a lot. 281 00:10:44,387 --> 00:10:46,252 Alice, hello. 282 00:10:46,253 --> 00:10:47,719 Oh, hi, miss benvenuti. How are you? 283 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,220 I'm fine. Hi, trixie. 284 00:10:49,221 --> 00:10:50,720 Miss benvenuti, what a pleasure. 285 00:10:50,721 --> 00:10:51,820 Please. 286 00:10:51,821 --> 00:10:53,587 If you just buy my house, 287 00:10:53,588 --> 00:10:55,454 that will be pleasure enough. 288 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,454 Miss benvenuti, you're selling 289 00:10:57,455 --> 00:10:59,454 that cute little duplex over on hart street? 290 00:10:59,455 --> 00:10:59,999 Yes. I can't take the winters anymore. 291 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,589 Yes. I can't take the winters anymore. 292 00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:05,422 Mr. Davis here and his company 293 00:11:05,423 --> 00:11:07,655 are thinking of buying my house. 294 00:11:07,656 --> 00:11:08,856 Yes, we are. 295 00:11:08,857 --> 00:11:11,656 So if you girls could just go 296 00:11:11,657 --> 00:11:13,590 and cook something. Ignoring you. 297 00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:15,590 Yeah, I wish we would've known, 298 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,324 because we've been looking to buy a duplex for years. 299 00:11:17,325 --> 00:11:18,624 Well, I'm sorry, 300 00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:19,891 but my company's already buying this one. 301 00:11:19,892 --> 00:11:21,524 We're not a company or anything, 302 00:11:21,525 --> 00:11:22,924 but we would like a nice place 303 00:11:22,925 --> 00:11:24,558 to move into with our husbands, 304 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,492 have a few little babies. 305 00:11:25,493 --> 00:11:26,725 A little trixie. 306 00:11:26,726 --> 00:11:28,925 Everything's so expensive nowadays. 307 00:11:28,926 --> 00:11:29,999 Yes, it is. Wishing you hadn't dropped out of high school? 308 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,726 Yes, it is. Wishing you hadn't dropped out of high school? 309 00:11:31,727 --> 00:11:33,359 Still ignoring you. 310 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,659 So, miss benvenuti, 311 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,728 how much are you asking for the duplex? 312 00:11:40,495 --> 00:11:41,728 Alice? 313 00:11:46,295 --> 00:11:48,263 Cool. 314 00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:56,697 Yo, Norton! 315 00:11:56,698 --> 00:11:58,730 Yeah? Let's go, mets! 316 00:11:58,731 --> 00:11:59,999 Bottom of the ninth inning... 317 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:00,797 Bottom of the ninth inning... 318 00:12:00,798 --> 00:12:02,398 This is killing me right here. 319 00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:03,698 I'm telling you, Ralph, 320 00:12:03,699 --> 00:12:05,197 the mets is gonna do their thing. 321 00:12:05,198 --> 00:12:07,298 But Cameron can't strike out this time, man. 322 00:12:07,299 --> 00:12:08,432 I mean, what is he doing? 323 00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,298 Yeah, right! I know! 324 00:12:10,299 --> 00:12:11,699 And the guy hits good. 325 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,732 Ed, the most amazing thing 326 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,400 happened today. You have to listen-- 327 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,666 We don't bother you 328 00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,199 when you're watching your stories. 329 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,700 Now, let us watch the game. 330 00:12:19,701 --> 00:12:21,234 No, but we've got great news, though. 331 00:12:21,235 --> 00:12:22,434 Not now, baby. This is the last inning. 332 00:12:22,435 --> 00:12:24,134 You have money on this game? 333 00:12:24,135 --> 00:12:25,200 No. 334 00:12:25,201 --> 00:12:27,335 I'm a businessman, okay, not a gambler. 335 00:12:27,336 --> 00:12:28,634 Come on, mets. 336 00:12:28,635 --> 00:12:29,999 Okay, wait. You remember miss benvenuti? 337 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:30,169 Okay, wait. You remember miss benvenuti? 338 00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:31,435 Well, she's selling her duplex. 339 00:12:31,436 --> 00:12:32,869 Mm-hm. It's a huge duplex, 340 00:12:32,870 --> 00:12:34,468 and all we have to do is come up with $20,000 341 00:12:34,469 --> 00:12:35,802 for the down payment. 342 00:12:35,803 --> 00:12:37,436 But she's only giving us two weeks. 343 00:12:37,437 --> 00:12:38,403 Two-one pitch. 344 00:12:38,404 --> 00:12:39,736 Cameron grounds out. 345 00:12:39,737 --> 00:12:40,903 Swing the bat! Would you guys listen? 346 00:12:40,904 --> 00:12:42,504 Just listen. 347 00:12:42,505 --> 00:12:43,771 Yeah, between the four of us, 348 00:12:43,772 --> 00:12:45,337 we already have half of it. 349 00:12:45,338 --> 00:12:46,871 They've got $5000 saved, and we got $5300, right? 350 00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:49,271 Oh, yeah, something like that, give or take. 351 00:12:49,272 --> 00:12:50,605 He's got a full count, man. Ah! 352 00:12:50,606 --> 00:12:52,171 What are they trying to do, kill me? 353 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,538 Wait, wait, wait. 354 00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,372 What do you mean, give or take? Ralph... 355 00:12:55,373 --> 00:12:56,572 You didn't take any money 356 00:12:56,573 --> 00:12:58,439 out of our savings account, did you? 357 00:12:58,440 --> 00:12:59,999 Don't know what she's talking about. You know. 358 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:00,141 Don't know what she's talking about. You know. 359 00:13:00,142 --> 00:13:02,306 Look, look, maybe I went into our account, 360 00:13:02,307 --> 00:13:03,507 and maybe I took some money. 361 00:13:03,508 --> 00:13:04,807 But then again, 362 00:13:04,808 --> 00:13:06,607 maybe someone has a birthday coming up, 363 00:13:06,608 --> 00:13:08,840 and I'm just trying to surprise her. 364 00:13:08,841 --> 00:13:11,307 My birthday's in eight months, Ralph. 365 00:13:11,308 --> 00:13:14,375 Okay, maybe I got the dates mixed up. 366 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:15,742 She know who the boss is. 367 00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:19,842 I know who the boss, baby. 368 00:13:19,843 --> 00:13:21,243 Here they go. Here they go, man. 369 00:13:21,244 --> 00:13:23,143 Make me some money, baby! 370 00:13:23,144 --> 00:13:25,076 Get this hit right here. It's for the marbles! 371 00:13:25,077 --> 00:13:26,643 Three-two-pitch. Cameron swings... 372 00:13:26,644 --> 00:13:28,710 Oh! And sends it deep to left! 373 00:13:28,711 --> 00:13:29,999 Oh, he got hold of it! It's going deep! 374 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:30,711 Oh, he got hold of it! It's going deep! 375 00:13:30,712 --> 00:13:32,445 It's outta here! 376 00:13:33,678 --> 00:13:34,744 Yeah! 377 00:13:34,745 --> 00:13:35,844 Yeah, mets! 378 00:13:35,845 --> 00:13:37,311 That's what I thought! 379 00:13:37,312 --> 00:13:38,812 Hey! Baby! 380 00:13:38,813 --> 00:13:40,378 Whoo! 381 00:13:40,379 --> 00:13:41,578 Oh! My baby! 382 00:13:41,579 --> 00:13:42,645 Is he okay? 383 00:13:42,646 --> 00:13:44,413 We don't have no insurance. 384 00:13:44,414 --> 00:13:45,446 Norton, get up! The mets! Mets! 385 00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:47,413 What did I tell you? 386 00:13:47,414 --> 00:13:48,347 What did I tell you? 387 00:13:48,348 --> 00:13:49,846 Go, mets! 388 00:13:49,847 --> 00:13:51,313 What did I tell you? 389 00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:53,313 I'm gonna show you what's in these boxes. 390 00:13:53,314 --> 00:13:54,814 You wanna see? I wanna see it. 391 00:13:54,815 --> 00:13:56,314 There's money in these boxes, baby. 392 00:13:56,315 --> 00:13:57,481 Money, money, money. 393 00:13:57,482 --> 00:13:58,515 Money for anything you want. 394 00:13:58,516 --> 00:13:59,448 Money for the house. 395 00:13:59,449 --> 00:13:59,999 Money for anything. 396 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,315 Money for anything. 397 00:14:01,316 --> 00:14:02,549 You gotta be fast on your feet 398 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:03,516 to make it in this world. 399 00:14:03,517 --> 00:14:05,349 You know what I'm saying? 400 00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:07,049 When I'm the first one to hit the streets with this, 401 00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:08,183 I'm gonna make a fortune. 402 00:14:08,184 --> 00:14:09,116 What stuff, ed? 403 00:14:09,117 --> 00:14:10,083 Mets stuff. 404 00:14:10,084 --> 00:14:11,717 Official merchandise. 405 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,050 Ralph met a guy on the bus who gave him a godfather deal. 406 00:14:14,051 --> 00:14:16,584 Yeah, that's right. Godfather deal. 407 00:14:16,585 --> 00:14:18,552 Yo. Boom! 408 00:14:22,586 --> 00:14:24,585 Never seen a met fan wearing one of those. 409 00:14:24,586 --> 00:14:26,086 No, that's a throwback. 410 00:14:26,087 --> 00:14:27,419 It's gotta be in the other box. 411 00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:28,552 This one's the wrong one. 412 00:14:28,553 --> 00:14:29,999 We don't play. 413 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:30,120 We don't play. 414 00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:32,686 It's this box right here. 415 00:14:32,687 --> 00:14:33,753 There you go. 416 00:14:33,754 --> 00:14:35,187 They just made a mistake. Yeah. 417 00:14:35,188 --> 00:14:36,187 It's all good. 418 00:14:36,188 --> 00:14:37,687 Get ready, ladies. 419 00:14:37,688 --> 00:14:40,320 - Yeah. That's is it. - Cashola. 420 00:14:40,321 --> 00:14:41,188 This is it. 421 00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:42,621 Here we go. 422 00:14:42,622 --> 00:14:44,689 There it is. Boom! 423 00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:49,322 What the...? 424 00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:50,556 Ralph, why? 425 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,289 You had to know better. 426 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,290 This would've been big money, baby. 427 00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:56,190 I mean... 428 00:14:56,191 --> 00:14:58,123 I was investing in your future. 429 00:14:58,124 --> 00:14:59,323 Really? 430 00:14:59,324 --> 00:14:59,999 Like the time you invested $900 431 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,690 like the time you invested $900 432 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,291 to market the, uh...? 433 00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,591 Oh! The pet cactus? 434 00:15:04,592 --> 00:15:05,725 Hey. 435 00:15:05,726 --> 00:15:07,192 A couple kids get poked in the eye 436 00:15:07,193 --> 00:15:08,426 and get cornea colitis 437 00:15:08,427 --> 00:15:10,025 and ruin it for everybody? Yeah. 438 00:15:10,026 --> 00:15:11,192 That's not my fault. 439 00:15:11,193 --> 00:15:12,526 Oh, my personal favorite, 440 00:15:12,527 --> 00:15:15,460 the velour Fanny pack. 441 00:15:15,461 --> 00:15:17,226 That's a man-purse. 442 00:15:17,227 --> 00:15:20,060 And I was this close to getting al roker to wear one 443 00:15:20,061 --> 00:15:21,627 on the today show, wasn't I? 444 00:15:21,628 --> 00:15:23,294 - He sure was. - He was this close. 445 00:15:23,295 --> 00:15:25,227 I was with him the day-- You're not helping. 446 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,694 Listen, Alice, 447 00:15:26,695 --> 00:15:28,462 we'll get the money for the house somehow. 448 00:15:28,463 --> 00:15:29,999 No, we won't. 449 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,162 No, we won't. 450 00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,062 It's always going to be like this, trix. 451 00:15:33,063 --> 00:15:35,029 Living paycheck to paycheck, 452 00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,296 hand-to-mouth, 453 00:15:36,297 --> 00:15:38,029 never having anything to call our own. 454 00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:40,130 But, no, you know what? Hey, it's cool, right? 455 00:15:40,131 --> 00:15:42,331 'Cause most people in the world live like this, right? 456 00:15:44,365 --> 00:15:47,165 I just didn't think it'd be so hard. 457 00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:48,732 Alice. Alice, come on. 458 00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,566 I know from the outside looking in, 459 00:15:58,567 --> 00:15:59,999 it seems as though I have a perfect relationship, 460 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,333 it seems as though I have a perfect relationship, 461 00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:03,700 but the truth of the matter 462 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:06,101 is that Alice and I don't always get along. 463 00:16:06,102 --> 00:16:07,500 Wow, I never noticed that! 464 00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:08,934 Ooh! 465 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,968 Look, man, she's mad, but she'll get over it. 466 00:16:11,969 --> 00:16:13,169 She wasn't mad. 467 00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:14,568 Mad, you do get over. 468 00:16:14,569 --> 00:16:15,968 Mad, I can handle. 469 00:16:15,969 --> 00:16:17,369 I know how to deal with mad. 470 00:16:17,370 --> 00:16:19,202 But the look she had on her face, 471 00:16:19,203 --> 00:16:20,569 it was like... 472 00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:22,270 She was disappointed in me. 473 00:16:22,271 --> 00:16:24,703 Like she didn't believe in me anymore. 474 00:16:24,704 --> 00:16:26,537 And I don't know, if that's the case, 475 00:16:26,538 --> 00:16:28,037 then how do you come back from that? 476 00:16:28,038 --> 00:16:29,999 Show her that you're sorry. Buy her ass something. 477 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:30,172 Show her that you're sorry. Buy her ass something. 478 00:16:30,173 --> 00:16:32,371 With what? I'm broke! 479 00:16:32,372 --> 00:16:34,071 Look, check this out. 480 00:16:34,072 --> 00:16:36,405 I know a dude right now selling Cadillac wheels. 481 00:16:36,406 --> 00:16:38,505 I'm talking about the spinners. The gold ones. 482 00:16:38,506 --> 00:16:39,972 We ain't got no damn car. 483 00:16:39,973 --> 00:16:42,006 I also know a dude that sell earrings-- 484 00:16:42,007 --> 00:16:43,273 Norton. 485 00:16:43,274 --> 00:16:44,673 Look... 486 00:16:44,674 --> 00:16:46,073 It's getting crazy out here. 487 00:16:46,074 --> 00:16:47,040 Okay, come on, 488 00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:48,640 let's go shoot some pool. 489 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,507 That's why I never like to brainstorm around you. 490 00:16:50,508 --> 00:16:52,009 You're very critical. 491 00:16:54,508 --> 00:16:55,641 Whoa. Wait, now. 492 00:16:55,642 --> 00:16:57,275 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 493 00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:58,508 Why do you get to break? 494 00:16:58,509 --> 00:16:59,999 I'll tell you why I get to break. 495 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:00,143 I'll tell you why I get to break. 496 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,608 Because you broke last time. 497 00:17:01,609 --> 00:17:03,543 Oh, no, no. You broke last time. 498 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,910 Know what? Fine. We'll flip for it. 499 00:17:05,911 --> 00:17:08,343 Here. You call. 500 00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,444 I wanna flip. 501 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,944 Okay, flip. 502 00:17:11,945 --> 00:17:13,178 Okay, I'm gonna flip it. 503 00:17:13,179 --> 00:17:14,244 Flip it. 504 00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:15,278 Heads. 505 00:17:15,279 --> 00:17:16,511 No, I wanted heads. 506 00:17:16,512 --> 00:17:18,244 Well, tails then. 507 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,478 I wanted tails too. 508 00:17:19,479 --> 00:17:21,279 I got a big appetite for tails too. 509 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,412 Just break! 510 00:17:22,413 --> 00:17:24,045 All right, I'm gonna do it. 511 00:17:24,046 --> 00:17:26,113 You are the most ridiculous man I've ever met. 512 00:17:26,114 --> 00:17:29,180 Maybe so, but I'm breaking. 513 00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:29,999 ♪ Talkin' sexy... ♪ 514 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,614 ♪ Talkin' sexy... ♪ 515 00:17:36,382 --> 00:17:38,915 ♪ Oh... ♪ 516 00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,915 ♪ You know I hit it right tonight ♪ 517 00:17:40,916 --> 00:17:43,449 ♪ beat them off like a Tyson fight ♪ 518 00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:44,916 ♪ all that go nice ♪ 519 00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:47,449 ♪ draws on like a headset manolos ♪ 520 00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:49,916 ♪ lookin' just right you damn right ♪ 521 00:17:49,917 --> 00:17:52,049 ♪ oh, yeah let me take you out the door ♪ 522 00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:53,883 ♪ whisper truth in your ear ♪ 523 00:17:53,884 --> 00:17:55,417 ♪ tell you all them naughty things ♪ 524 00:17:55,418 --> 00:17:56,950 ♪ you been dyin' to hear waitin' in the back ♪ 525 00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,918 ♪ while you tuck in your hair ♪ 526 00:17:58,919 --> 00:17:59,999 ♪ we can take it from the dance floor ♪ 527 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,019 ♪ we can take it from the dance floor ♪ 528 00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:01,551 ♪ onto a chair, come on ♪ 529 00:18:01,552 --> 00:18:04,084 ♪ top on the broad day lettin' 'em stare ♪ 530 00:18:04,085 --> 00:18:06,118 ♪ that's the cd gettin' you off ♪ 531 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,452 ♪ bring you back to the crib ♪ 532 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,020 Would you just shoot! 533 00:18:10,187 --> 00:18:12,286 ♪ Fire don't you know ♪ 534 00:18:12,287 --> 00:18:13,519 ♪ I'm on fire ♪ 535 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,187 That's on you, Ralph. 536 00:18:15,188 --> 00:18:16,587 Oh, no, you don't, Norton. 537 00:18:16,588 --> 00:18:18,187 Hey. 538 00:18:18,188 --> 00:18:20,021 Oh, it's on, baby. 539 00:18:20,022 --> 00:18:21,455 Ralphie! Norton! 540 00:18:25,289 --> 00:18:27,088 Where's my other hand? 541 00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:28,488 I can't find my other hand! 542 00:18:28,489 --> 00:18:29,999 It's right there. It's there. 543 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,120 It's right there. It's there. 544 00:18:32,924 --> 00:18:34,489 No, no. I'm gonna go back in there. 545 00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:35,823 Don't hold me back. Don't hold me back. 546 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,290 How you gonna throw kramden out? 547 00:18:37,291 --> 00:18:38,858 Ralph. I'm gonna go back. 548 00:18:40,158 --> 00:18:41,357 What are you doing? 549 00:18:41,358 --> 00:18:42,890 I was about to go back in there. 550 00:18:42,891 --> 00:18:44,024 What's wrong with you? No time to play. 551 00:18:44,025 --> 00:18:46,391 We got a major backup in the sewer system. 552 00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:48,325 How come every time a toilet clogs up in this town 553 00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:50,125 they call you? I'm a specialist. 554 00:18:50,126 --> 00:18:52,425 It's like being a brain surgeon or spider-man. 555 00:18:52,426 --> 00:18:54,992 Spider-man. Spider-man wouldn't have got us beat down 556 00:18:54,993 --> 00:18:56,527 and thrown out of no pool hall! 557 00:18:59,494 --> 00:18:59,999 Come in, trix. 558 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,194 Come in, trix. 559 00:19:02,195 --> 00:19:05,794 ♪ Everybody want something ♪ 560 00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:07,561 ♪ and they don't earn it ♪ 561 00:19:07,562 --> 00:19:10,861 ♪ everybody wanna get money ♪ 562 00:19:10,862 --> 00:19:12,195 What do you have on? 563 00:19:12,196 --> 00:19:14,296 Don't act like you don't recognize my Ralph gear. 564 00:19:14,297 --> 00:19:15,995 I got my loud-ass lime-green t-shirt 565 00:19:15,996 --> 00:19:17,563 that should've made us millionaires, 566 00:19:17,564 --> 00:19:20,463 my 1987 leopard-print Fanny pack, 567 00:19:20,464 --> 00:19:22,564 complete inside with a baby pet cactus 568 00:19:22,565 --> 00:19:24,897 in case a brother wanna get rowdy on the train, 569 00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:26,430 'cause you know how they can act up. 570 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,399 And to top it off... 571 00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:33,066 The rainbrella kangol. 572 00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:35,898 And you know I'll wear it 24-7 573 00:19:35,899 --> 00:19:37,365 'cause rain ain't got no schedule. 574 00:19:37,366 --> 00:19:39,132 It's kinda sexy. 575 00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:40,299 Come on, Alice, 576 00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:41,966 you gotta admit, your man is tryin'. 577 00:19:41,967 --> 00:19:44,801 Yeah. Yeah. 578 00:20:11,472 --> 00:20:14,038 This is what I do, huh? 579 00:20:14,039 --> 00:20:15,938 Right, hey! 580 00:20:15,939 --> 00:20:18,238 Hey! Hey! Hey, yeah! 581 00:20:18,239 --> 00:20:19,872 Yeah, baby, man! 582 00:20:19,873 --> 00:20:21,039 Come on, Ralph. 583 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,905 I know I smell a little stinky, 584 00:20:22,906 --> 00:20:24,773 but come on and give your man some love. 585 00:20:24,774 --> 00:20:27,306 I'm-- I'm cool on the love. 586 00:20:27,307 --> 00:20:28,440 Thank you. 587 00:20:28,441 --> 00:20:29,474 Can we go? 588 00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:29,999 It's this way. 589 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:30,907 It's this way. 590 00:20:34,142 --> 00:20:36,308 Come on, Ralph, I got something to show you. 591 00:20:36,309 --> 00:20:37,308 This the scenic route. 592 00:20:37,309 --> 00:20:38,975 We're lost, aren't we? 593 00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,209 Ralph, if you lay it out end to end, 594 00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:43,442 the New York City sewer system 595 00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:47,076 will stretch about 6600 miles. 596 00:20:47,077 --> 00:20:48,776 A city beneath the city. 597 00:20:48,777 --> 00:20:53,177 And I got it all right here. 598 00:20:54,778 --> 00:20:56,344 It's just around here, Ralph. 599 00:20:56,345 --> 00:20:58,177 Check this out. 600 00:20:58,178 --> 00:20:59,278 It's gonna be worth it. 601 00:21:07,713 --> 00:21:11,113 Whoa. 602 00:21:15,415 --> 00:21:19,080 City beneath the city. 603 00:21:19,081 --> 00:21:21,048 Whoo, damn! 604 00:21:21,049 --> 00:21:23,181 Mahogany paneling, velvet curtains. 605 00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:24,381 This is bad. 606 00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:25,882 What did I tell you? 607 00:21:25,883 --> 00:21:27,281 We find these down here from time to time. 608 00:21:27,282 --> 00:21:28,882 Owned by some rich white dude 609 00:21:28,883 --> 00:21:29,999 before flying got popular, Ralph. 610 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:30,815 Before flying got popular, Ralph. 611 00:21:30,816 --> 00:21:32,282 Solid brass. 612 00:21:32,283 --> 00:21:33,449 Imagine that. 613 00:21:33,450 --> 00:21:35,150 Rich enough to own your own train. 614 00:21:35,151 --> 00:21:37,417 Well, someone's going to. 615 00:21:37,418 --> 00:21:38,917 The city's auctioning it off. 616 00:21:38,918 --> 00:21:40,717 I don't know what for, though. 617 00:21:40,718 --> 00:21:42,385 Who would want to own their own train car? 618 00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:52,319 Norton! 619 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,419 What is it, Ralph? 620 00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:54,419 This is it. 621 00:21:54,420 --> 00:21:55,886 What's it? 622 00:21:55,887 --> 00:21:58,220 We buy the train. 623 00:21:58,221 --> 00:21:59,887 We put an engine on it. 624 00:21:59,888 --> 00:22:00,000 Slap some wheels on it. Maybe a new paint job. 625 00:22:00,001 --> 00:22:01,287 Slap some wheels on it. Maybe a new paint job. 626 00:22:01,288 --> 00:22:02,820 I can get Alice to decorate. 627 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,721 And we'll give tours of New York City. 628 00:22:04,722 --> 00:22:06,387 "I'm Ralph kramden, 629 00:22:06,388 --> 00:22:08,888 and welcome to New York and all the five boroughs." 630 00:22:08,889 --> 00:22:10,288 You know what, Ralph? 631 00:22:10,289 --> 00:22:12,388 Those tours make a lot of money too, man. 632 00:22:12,389 --> 00:22:14,789 This is why you need me to do the thinking. Yeah. 633 00:22:14,790 --> 00:22:16,623 Because sometimes you gotta take the long view. 634 00:22:16,624 --> 00:22:18,022 Yeah. 635 00:22:18,023 --> 00:22:20,890 Okay. So we won't be able to get the girls 636 00:22:20,891 --> 00:22:22,756 some little duplex now. 637 00:22:22,757 --> 00:22:23,790 All right. 638 00:22:23,791 --> 00:22:24,824 But soon... 639 00:22:24,825 --> 00:22:25,757 Yeah? 640 00:22:25,758 --> 00:22:27,891 We can buy 'em a palace. 641 00:22:27,892 --> 00:22:29,757 Awwww... 642 00:22:29,758 --> 00:22:30,000 Kapow! 643 00:22:30,001 --> 00:22:30,991 Kapow! 644 00:22:30,992 --> 00:22:32,759 Yeah, man, this is it! 645 00:22:40,293 --> 00:22:41,860 Oh, yeah. 646 00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,660 This is the place where it's gonna go down. 647 00:22:43,661 --> 00:22:46,193 Hey, I got another riddle for you, Ralph. 648 00:22:46,194 --> 00:22:48,627 Norton, not now, okay? I'm assessing the room. 649 00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:50,294 Look, look. 650 00:22:50,295 --> 00:22:51,828 Twelve o'clock right there. 651 00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:52,895 It's a fellow entrepreneur. 652 00:22:52,896 --> 00:22:54,062 I know one when I see him. 653 00:22:54,063 --> 00:22:55,928 He's looking at our train. 654 00:22:55,929 --> 00:22:58,262 We don't have the cash to get into a bidding war. 655 00:22:58,263 --> 00:22:59,829 We really don't. 656 00:22:59,830 --> 00:23:00,000 According to my investment guru, Bart Roberts, 657 00:23:00,001 --> 00:23:02,029 according to my investment guru, Bart Roberts, 658 00:23:02,030 --> 00:23:03,796 "if you know you can't compete, 659 00:23:03,797 --> 00:23:06,731 you may have to practice deceit." 660 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:25,166 Now, that there is a very fine train. 661 00:23:25,167 --> 00:23:26,833 Ralph kramden. 662 00:23:26,834 --> 00:23:28,800 Hitako kawakami. 663 00:23:28,801 --> 00:23:29,967 Hmm. 664 00:23:29,968 --> 00:23:30,000 Well, thank you, Mr... 665 00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:31,267 Well, thank you, Mr... 666 00:23:31,268 --> 00:23:33,602 "Hikato kamakwami." 667 00:23:34,602 --> 00:23:36,168 Here we go. 668 00:23:36,169 --> 00:23:38,668 This is me right here. 669 00:23:38,669 --> 00:23:41,735 "Ralph kramden... International"? 670 00:23:41,736 --> 00:23:43,035 Well, for now. 671 00:23:43,036 --> 00:23:46,237 But we are expanding to a more global approach. 672 00:23:49,171 --> 00:23:50,770 Man, they must have dug in the archives 673 00:23:50,771 --> 00:23:51,871 for this old picture. 674 00:23:51,872 --> 00:23:53,871 What do you mean? 675 00:23:53,872 --> 00:23:56,171 This doesn't look anything like the train they're selling. 676 00:23:56,172 --> 00:23:57,239 No. 677 00:23:58,739 --> 00:23:59,905 You've seen it? 678 00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:00,000 Have I seen--? 679 00:24:00,001 --> 00:24:01,305 Have I seen--? 680 00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:02,671 Of course I've seen it. 681 00:24:02,672 --> 00:24:04,038 It's right out the door. 682 00:24:04,039 --> 00:24:05,138 Come with me, 683 00:24:05,139 --> 00:24:06,740 and I'll show you the train. 684 00:24:11,007 --> 00:24:12,807 Sold! 230. 685 00:24:12,808 --> 00:24:14,740 Lucky lady in the back. Next up. 686 00:24:14,741 --> 00:24:16,107 It's back and to the left. 687 00:24:16,108 --> 00:24:17,274 An off-site item, 688 00:24:17,275 --> 00:24:18,241 a Pullman train car. 689 00:24:18,242 --> 00:24:20,641 Train car? 690 00:24:20,642 --> 00:24:22,674 We'll start the bidding at $1000. 691 00:24:22,675 --> 00:24:23,841 One thousand dollars. 692 00:24:23,842 --> 00:24:25,775 I want to bid! 693 00:24:25,776 --> 00:24:26,809 Do I hear 2? 694 00:24:26,810 --> 00:24:27,809 Two thousand! 695 00:24:27,810 --> 00:24:28,942 Ralph! 696 00:24:28,943 --> 00:24:29,999 Two thousand. 697 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:30,277 Two thousand. 698 00:24:30,278 --> 00:24:32,610 Two thousand from the guy over by the door. 699 00:24:32,611 --> 00:24:34,110 Norton, stop! Do I hear 2500? 700 00:24:34,111 --> 00:24:35,877 Twenty-five hundred. It's finally going 701 00:24:35,878 --> 00:24:37,644 in the right direction. No, no. 702 00:24:37,645 --> 00:24:38,711 Three thousand dollars! 703 00:24:38,712 --> 00:24:40,144 Three thousand. Get him out! 704 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,144 Thirty-five hundred! No-- 705 00:24:42,145 --> 00:24:43,777 Thirty-five hundred going once... 706 00:24:43,778 --> 00:24:45,879 Over here! I'm bidding over here. 707 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,112 Once, twice, three times! The train is mine! 708 00:24:48,113 --> 00:24:49,145 Sold! 709 00:24:49,146 --> 00:24:50,179 Thank you. 710 00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:53,014 Aah! 711 00:24:55,747 --> 00:24:57,248 I wish you would. I'm a purple belt. 712 00:25:01,148 --> 00:25:05,648 ♪ America, America ♪ 713 00:25:05,649 --> 00:25:06,748 You're so good, trix. 714 00:25:06,749 --> 00:25:08,982 Why didn't you ever become a singer? 715 00:25:08,983 --> 00:25:10,682 I know I should've, but I have acid reflux. 716 00:25:10,683 --> 00:25:12,115 Ooh. You know that. 717 00:25:12,116 --> 00:25:13,716 Uh-oh. It's the competition. 718 00:25:13,717 --> 00:25:15,849 Hi, Alice. Hi, Alice's friend. 719 00:25:15,850 --> 00:25:18,116 My name is trixie, and I don't like you. 720 00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:20,050 Oh, stop, please. 721 00:25:20,051 --> 00:25:21,483 We got off to a bad start. 722 00:25:21,484 --> 00:25:23,217 I'd like to make amends. 723 00:25:23,218 --> 00:25:24,784 It's about time somebody does. 724 00:25:24,785 --> 00:25:26,150 You want to live in the benvenuti place 725 00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:27,251 and I want to own it. 726 00:25:27,252 --> 00:25:28,584 We can all get what we want. 727 00:25:28,585 --> 00:25:29,618 Should I cut him? 728 00:25:29,619 --> 00:25:30,000 Let's go. 729 00:25:30,001 --> 00:25:31,018 Let's go. 730 00:25:31,019 --> 00:25:32,752 No, listen. I'm developing 15 affordable units 731 00:25:32,753 --> 00:25:35,052 on that property. 732 00:25:35,053 --> 00:25:37,219 I'll save a big fat sunny corner unit for each of you. 733 00:25:37,220 --> 00:25:38,953 I'm a fun landlord. 734 00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:40,653 15 units on that little lot? 735 00:25:40,654 --> 00:25:41,720 That doesn't make a lot of sense. 736 00:25:41,721 --> 00:25:43,953 I'm developing the whole block. 737 00:25:43,954 --> 00:25:46,988 But I need her property to close the deal. 738 00:25:46,989 --> 00:25:48,687 I think he's crazy, Alice. Look at him. 739 00:25:48,688 --> 00:25:50,021 Forget it. 740 00:25:50,022 --> 00:25:51,488 We don't do crazy. 741 00:25:51,489 --> 00:25:53,890 Mm-hmm. 742 00:25:56,023 --> 00:25:57,689 How's it looking, Lenny? 743 00:25:57,690 --> 00:25:59,999 It's not bad. 744 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:00,524 It's not bad. 745 00:26:01,724 --> 00:26:03,657 I have four or five old engines 746 00:26:03,658 --> 00:26:05,023 back at the bus yard. 747 00:26:05,024 --> 00:26:06,190 Drive shaft. 748 00:26:06,191 --> 00:26:07,590 Wheels. 749 00:26:07,591 --> 00:26:10,024 I can turn this into a first-rate tour bus! 750 00:26:10,025 --> 00:26:11,057 What'd I tell you? 751 00:26:11,058 --> 00:26:12,591 What'd I tell you? 752 00:26:12,592 --> 00:26:14,025 Lenny, the best mechanic in the whole mta. 753 00:26:14,026 --> 00:26:15,992 He said it. How much, Lenny? How much? 754 00:26:15,993 --> 00:26:17,958 Oh, for Ralph? Whatever it costs for parts. 755 00:26:17,959 --> 00:26:19,592 I get most for free, if you know what I mean. 756 00:26:19,593 --> 00:26:20,926 Ha, ha! We gonna be rich! 757 00:26:20,927 --> 00:26:22,792 We gonna be rich! 758 00:26:22,793 --> 00:26:24,159 Norton, what'd I tell you? 759 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,894 You said it. Gonna be rich! 760 00:26:25,895 --> 00:26:27,060 Hey, Lenny, I'm gonna let you in on it too. 761 00:26:27,061 --> 00:26:28,493 I'm gonna give him something. 762 00:26:28,494 --> 00:26:29,693 Hey, Ralph, 763 00:26:29,694 --> 00:26:30,000 I got one question for you. 764 00:26:30,001 --> 00:26:31,994 I got one question for you. 765 00:26:31,995 --> 00:26:34,161 How you gonna get this thing out of here? 766 00:26:34,162 --> 00:26:35,794 Lenny, it's a train, okay? 767 00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:37,795 We're just gonna roll it out. 768 00:26:37,796 --> 00:26:40,428 We're gonna roll it out. 769 00:26:40,429 --> 00:26:42,830 How you gonna do that when all you have is, uh... 770 00:26:44,163 --> 00:26:46,097 20 feet of track? 771 00:26:52,465 --> 00:26:53,964 Uh, you don't...? 772 00:26:53,965 --> 00:26:57,032 You don't need track to roll a train out, do you? 773 00:26:59,599 --> 00:27:00,000 It's 60 feet below street level. 774 00:27:00,001 --> 00:27:01,765 It's 60 feet below street level. 775 00:27:01,766 --> 00:27:02,832 It's gonna cost you a fortune 776 00:27:02,833 --> 00:27:04,733 to move that train. 777 00:27:04,734 --> 00:27:07,133 Well, Ralph... 778 00:27:07,134 --> 00:27:09,733 Look like you... 779 00:27:09,734 --> 00:27:11,934 Gladys knight without the pips. 780 00:27:17,868 --> 00:27:20,002 What are you doing out so late, miss Celestine? 781 00:27:20,003 --> 00:27:22,435 I could ask you the same question. 782 00:27:22,436 --> 00:27:25,135 It looks like I'm gonna be doing a lot of double shifts 783 00:27:25,136 --> 00:27:26,469 from now on. 784 00:27:26,470 --> 00:27:27,669 Oh, really? 785 00:27:27,670 --> 00:27:29,999 Em, what's your poison? 786 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:30,137 Em, what's your poison? 787 00:27:30,138 --> 00:27:31,103 Gambling? 788 00:27:31,104 --> 00:27:32,603 Drink? 789 00:27:32,604 --> 00:27:33,870 Hos? 790 00:27:33,871 --> 00:27:35,870 Oh, no. No, no. None of that. 791 00:27:35,871 --> 00:27:37,037 Just... 792 00:27:37,038 --> 00:27:38,871 Worked myself into a jam 793 00:27:38,872 --> 00:27:40,471 trying to get along a little better. 794 00:27:40,472 --> 00:27:42,572 Aren't we all? 795 00:27:46,773 --> 00:27:49,572 ♪ Some people got to have it ♪ 796 00:27:49,573 --> 00:27:51,072 ♪ yeah, yeah ♪ 797 00:27:51,073 --> 00:27:54,740 ♪ some people really need it ♪ 798 00:27:54,741 --> 00:27:56,541 ♪ listen to me, y'all ♪ 799 00:27:56,542 --> 00:27:59,999 ♪ do things, do things do things, bad things with it ♪ 800 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:00,741 ♪ do things, do things do things, bad things with it ♪ 801 00:28:00,742 --> 00:28:02,741 Man, I worked four double shifts this week. 802 00:28:02,742 --> 00:28:05,008 Damn, Ralph, we need to pimp some midgets, 803 00:28:05,009 --> 00:28:06,876 you know what I mean? Yeah, tell me about it. 804 00:28:08,010 --> 00:28:09,608 What was that? I don't know. 805 00:28:09,609 --> 00:28:10,975 Sounded like a big rat or something. 806 00:28:10,976 --> 00:28:12,010 Come on, let's go. 807 00:28:13,644 --> 00:28:15,410 What are you do--? Norton, what are you doing, man? 808 00:28:15,411 --> 00:28:16,843 Get away from the dumpster. 809 00:28:16,844 --> 00:28:18,477 It's a dog. Aw, man. 810 00:28:18,478 --> 00:28:19,944 Why would somebody do this to a dog? 811 00:28:19,945 --> 00:28:21,510 Ralph, give me some help. What? 812 00:28:21,511 --> 00:28:22,544 I'm not coming near no dumpster! 813 00:28:22,545 --> 00:28:23,578 Give me some help. 814 00:28:23,579 --> 00:28:24,846 An innocent dog-- 815 00:28:25,846 --> 00:28:26,946 Oh, come on. Get him out. 816 00:28:37,813 --> 00:28:39,313 Oh, wow. 817 00:28:39,314 --> 00:28:40,680 Look at him, Ralph. 818 00:28:40,681 --> 00:28:41,880 I'm gonna clean him up, 819 00:28:41,881 --> 00:28:43,548 put him a nice little collar on him, 820 00:28:43,549 --> 00:28:45,447 some rhinestones. 821 00:28:45,448 --> 00:28:48,315 Call him iggy. 822 00:28:48,316 --> 00:28:49,448 Iggy? 823 00:28:49,449 --> 00:28:51,382 Iggy's the perfect name for a dog in the hood. 824 00:28:51,383 --> 00:28:52,815 Come on, don't get so excited, all right? 825 00:28:52,816 --> 00:28:54,415 We're not keeping the dog. 826 00:28:54,416 --> 00:28:55,582 Besides, the super would never let us 827 00:28:55,583 --> 00:28:57,383 have him in the building. 828 00:28:57,384 --> 00:28:59,283 I ain't got time for a dogany. 829 00:28:59,284 --> 00:28:59,999 The dog is not coming with us. 830 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:00,850 The dog is not coming with us. 831 00:29:00,851 --> 00:29:01,951 Let's go. 832 00:29:04,585 --> 00:29:05,717 Don't worry about it, iggy. 833 00:29:05,718 --> 00:29:07,818 You're coming home with us, baby. 834 00:29:16,053 --> 00:29:17,619 Oh, boy. 835 00:29:17,620 --> 00:29:20,020 There's some leftovers in the kitchen. 836 00:29:20,021 --> 00:29:21,853 Oh, it's okay, baby. 837 00:29:21,854 --> 00:29:23,920 I ate already with Norton. 838 00:29:23,921 --> 00:29:25,987 Sorry to wake you. You didn't wake me. 839 00:29:25,988 --> 00:29:27,987 I couldn't sleep. I keep hearing barking. 840 00:29:27,988 --> 00:29:29,999 I think somebody snuck a dog in the building or something. 841 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:30,688 I think somebody snuck a dog in the building or something. 842 00:29:30,689 --> 00:29:33,889 I'm sure you're just imagining things. 843 00:29:36,256 --> 00:29:37,556 Ooh! 844 00:29:37,557 --> 00:29:40,422 These double shifts are killing me. 845 00:29:40,423 --> 00:29:42,856 Baby? 846 00:29:42,857 --> 00:29:44,623 Yeah. 847 00:29:44,624 --> 00:29:46,523 That house means the world to me 848 00:29:46,524 --> 00:29:48,523 and I'm not gonna lose it without a fight. 849 00:29:48,524 --> 00:29:50,424 I mean, if we can't get the money by next Monday, 850 00:29:50,425 --> 00:29:52,491 Mrs. b's gonna be forced to sell to that idiot developer, 851 00:29:52,492 --> 00:29:53,824 William Davis. 852 00:29:53,825 --> 00:29:55,491 And... 853 00:29:55,492 --> 00:29:57,358 Well, um... 854 00:29:57,359 --> 00:29:59,559 I'm gonna ask my mama for the money. 855 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:00,000 What? Your mama don't have that kind of money. 856 00:30:00,001 --> 00:30:02,359 What? Your mama don't have that kind of money. 857 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,593 It's $10,000. That's all we need, right? 858 00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:06,459 Well, sure. 859 00:30:06,460 --> 00:30:08,294 If I hadn't spent the rest of it on the train. 860 00:30:08,295 --> 00:30:09,626 Huh? 861 00:30:09,627 --> 00:30:11,994 No, I was just kind of adding it up in my brain. 862 00:30:12,562 --> 00:30:14,561 And... 863 00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:16,861 Baby, you really should go by and see the house. 864 00:30:16,862 --> 00:30:19,795 I mean, Norton's already seen it. 865 00:30:19,796 --> 00:30:22,429 Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna get by there. 866 00:30:22,430 --> 00:30:23,596 Yeah? 867 00:30:23,597 --> 00:30:26,596 Yeah. Yeah. 868 00:30:26,597 --> 00:30:28,564 Thank you. 869 00:30:36,198 --> 00:30:37,598 I talked to some guys 870 00:30:37,599 --> 00:30:38,831 about getting the train out of the sewer. 871 00:30:38,832 --> 00:30:39,865 How much? 872 00:30:39,866 --> 00:30:41,364 You don't want to know. 873 00:30:41,365 --> 00:30:42,498 We gotta get ahold of some cash. 874 00:30:42,499 --> 00:30:43,865 Today. 875 00:30:43,866 --> 00:30:47,332 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 876 00:30:47,333 --> 00:30:48,666 Look at that, man. 877 00:30:48,667 --> 00:30:50,668 Break party. Break party. 878 00:31:02,303 --> 00:31:05,769 ♪ Universal b-boy looking for the perfect beat ♪ 879 00:31:05,770 --> 00:31:07,937 ♪ beat, beat, beat, beat ♪ 880 00:31:17,871 --> 00:31:19,837 ♪ looking for the perfect beat ♪ 881 00:31:19,838 --> 00:31:21,238 ♪ searching for the perfect beat ♪ 882 00:31:21,239 --> 00:31:22,737 ♪ seeking for the perfect beat ♪ 883 00:31:22,738 --> 00:31:24,171 ♪ I must get mine I'm out to get it ♪ 884 00:31:24,172 --> 00:31:25,471 Sorry to disturb you at this time, ma'am. 885 00:31:25,472 --> 00:31:26,772 My name is ed. 886 00:31:26,773 --> 00:31:28,172 And I'm Ralph, 887 00:31:28,173 --> 00:31:29,605 and what a lovely home you have. 888 00:31:29,606 --> 00:31:30,000 Help us. 889 00:31:30,001 --> 00:31:31,339 Help us. 890 00:31:31,340 --> 00:31:33,573 We can't see a thing. 891 00:31:33,574 --> 00:31:34,739 Billy. 892 00:31:34,740 --> 00:31:36,540 What's up? It's Ralph kramden. 893 00:31:36,541 --> 00:31:38,240 How you doing? Vacation. 894 00:31:38,241 --> 00:31:39,640 Oh, it's William now. 895 00:31:39,641 --> 00:31:41,874 Remember I loaned you $6? 896 00:31:41,875 --> 00:31:43,442 You got that? 897 00:31:51,510 --> 00:31:53,242 The Brooklyn youth program 898 00:31:53,243 --> 00:31:55,410 is a program to keep young little brothers like ourselves 899 00:31:55,411 --> 00:31:56,709 off the street from stealing hubcaps 900 00:31:56,710 --> 00:31:58,443 and breaking into your house 901 00:31:58,444 --> 00:31:59,578 while you're not at home. Yes. 902 00:32:07,712 --> 00:32:08,911 Jeannie Lincoln. 903 00:32:08,912 --> 00:32:10,679 Remember we went on a date 904 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,178 and it was supposed to be Dutch but I paid? 905 00:32:13,179 --> 00:32:14,845 Two blind men and a dog. 906 00:32:14,846 --> 00:32:17,246 That's a nice little sweater there. 907 00:32:17,247 --> 00:32:18,346 Hey... 908 00:32:18,347 --> 00:32:20,646 ♪ This is what you gotta do ♪ 909 00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:22,348 ♪ this is what you must do beat this! ♪ 910 00:32:25,448 --> 00:32:26,615 ♪ Beat this! ♪ 911 00:32:29,316 --> 00:32:29,999 ♪ Beat this! ♪ 912 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:30,582 ♪ Beat this! ♪ 913 00:32:30,583 --> 00:32:33,214 Look at that, man. 914 00:32:33,215 --> 00:32:35,715 Throw a dog a bone! Throw a dog-- 915 00:32:35,716 --> 00:32:37,882 Wait a minute. I want some money. 916 00:32:37,883 --> 00:32:39,416 Give me $5, man! 917 00:32:39,417 --> 00:32:41,749 ♪ Looking for the perfect beat ♪ 918 00:32:41,750 --> 00:32:43,816 ♪ and it will help you reach your peak ♪ 919 00:32:43,817 --> 00:32:45,483 ♪ keep dancing to our perfect beat ♪ 920 00:32:45,484 --> 00:32:47,283 ♪ and it will help you reach your peak ♪ 921 00:32:47,284 --> 00:32:49,217 Hey, come here! What are you doing? 922 00:32:49,218 --> 00:32:50,518 ♪ And it will help you reach your peak ♪ 923 00:32:50,519 --> 00:32:51,619 Damn! 924 00:32:55,686 --> 00:32:57,552 Oh! 925 00:32:57,553 --> 00:32:59,118 Get off of me! 926 00:32:59,119 --> 00:32:59,999 Ed! You've gotta do something about this dog! 927 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,552 Ed! You've gotta do something about this dog! 928 00:33:01,553 --> 00:33:02,786 I told you, 929 00:33:02,787 --> 00:33:03,786 I'm watching him for a friend. 930 00:33:03,787 --> 00:33:05,119 Here, boy! 931 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:06,687 Go get it! 932 00:33:06,688 --> 00:33:08,753 If things go right with this house, 933 00:33:08,754 --> 00:33:11,087 we can get a dog for the yard. 934 00:33:11,088 --> 00:33:12,688 And name him patches? 935 00:33:12,689 --> 00:33:14,421 Or iggy! 936 00:33:14,422 --> 00:33:16,121 Iggy? 937 00:33:16,122 --> 00:33:18,188 ♪ Baby, if you only knew... ♪ 938 00:33:18,189 --> 00:33:21,622 I mean, man, have you seen the house? Wow. 939 00:33:21,623 --> 00:33:23,722 It's got a back yard for iggy and everything. 940 00:33:23,723 --> 00:33:25,156 Yeah, man. 941 00:33:25,157 --> 00:33:28,190 So Alice invited her mother over for dinner. 942 00:33:28,191 --> 00:33:29,823 Her mama's coming over? 943 00:33:29,824 --> 00:33:30,000 I better come over there with my referee t-shirt on, then. 944 00:33:30,001 --> 00:33:31,824 I better come over there with my referee t-shirt on, then. 945 00:33:31,825 --> 00:33:34,657 She plans on asking her for the money for the house. 946 00:33:34,658 --> 00:33:37,291 Wait a minute. You done told Alice about the train money? 947 00:33:37,292 --> 00:33:38,458 Oh, no! 948 00:33:38,459 --> 00:33:40,191 It's been my experience 949 00:33:40,192 --> 00:33:42,725 that too much honesty can ruin a good relationship. 950 00:33:42,726 --> 00:33:44,159 Yeah. 951 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,059 Look at them over there. 952 00:33:46,060 --> 00:33:48,459 What do you think they're talking about? 953 00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:50,260 Us, bad weaves, 954 00:33:50,261 --> 00:33:51,827 fake Louis vuitton purses. 955 00:33:51,828 --> 00:33:54,493 I mean, what do they always talk about? 956 00:33:54,494 --> 00:33:57,161 Let's say the conforming interest rate is 6.5 percent 957 00:33:57,162 --> 00:33:58,695 at one-and-a-half points. 958 00:33:58,696 --> 00:33:59,999 Does that leave us room for a two-one buydown? 959 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:00,162 Does that leave us room for a two-one buydown? 960 00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:01,628 I don't think you'd want to do that 961 00:34:01,629 --> 00:34:03,195 in the first three years, 962 00:34:03,196 --> 00:34:04,495 but we could always run the numbers. 963 00:34:04,496 --> 00:34:06,062 Hmm. 964 00:34:06,063 --> 00:34:07,762 Look at them over there. No, no, no, ed. 965 00:34:07,763 --> 00:34:09,596 What do you think they're talking about? 966 00:34:09,597 --> 00:34:11,363 You know how men are. 967 00:34:11,364 --> 00:34:14,064 They'd like us to believe they're talking about religion 968 00:34:14,065 --> 00:34:16,197 or politics or economic injustice... 969 00:34:16,198 --> 00:34:18,064 But you know all they really care about is-- 970 00:34:18,065 --> 00:34:20,164 Beyoncé is more peach-shaped. 971 00:34:20,165 --> 00:34:21,497 Like the way chaka Khan used to be 972 00:34:21,498 --> 00:34:23,131 back in the day. 973 00:34:23,132 --> 00:34:25,365 Chaka Khan used to be built like a bleach bottle 974 00:34:25,366 --> 00:34:26,399 back in the day. 975 00:34:29,566 --> 00:34:30,000 Yeah. 976 00:34:30,001 --> 00:34:31,399 Yeah. 977 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,499 Hi, iggy. 978 00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:35,701 Go! 979 00:34:37,001 --> 00:34:37,766 Ooh. 980 00:34:37,767 --> 00:34:39,300 Damn, that dog can run! 981 00:34:39,301 --> 00:34:41,135 - Oh, yeah. - You better believe it. 982 00:34:42,568 --> 00:34:44,468 Norton, that's it! 983 00:34:44,469 --> 00:34:46,703 We race iggy! 984 00:34:52,270 --> 00:34:54,603 How many years did you guys say you've been racing greyhounds? 985 00:34:54,604 --> 00:34:55,769 Oh, 11. Six. 986 00:34:55,770 --> 00:34:59,303 Ah, 11 years, but six times 987 00:34:59,304 --> 00:34:59,999 in dog years, of course. 988 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:00,537 In dog years, of course. 989 00:35:00,538 --> 00:35:02,004 Give or take. 990 00:35:02,005 --> 00:35:03,571 Right. Right. Five or ten years. 991 00:35:03,572 --> 00:35:05,104 He got in it first. Yeah. 992 00:35:05,105 --> 00:35:07,237 Actually, I brought him into the business. 993 00:35:07,238 --> 00:35:08,471 See, actually, we are... 994 00:35:08,472 --> 00:35:09,538 Brothers. Cousins. 995 00:35:09,539 --> 00:35:11,172 Different moms. Yeah. 996 00:35:11,173 --> 00:35:13,039 My father used to train neglected chihuahuas-- 997 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:13,973 Gentlemen. 998 00:35:13,974 --> 00:35:14,739 And then-- 999 00:35:14,740 --> 00:35:16,206 It really doesn't matter. 1000 00:35:16,207 --> 00:35:17,473 What I do want to know is 1001 00:35:17,474 --> 00:35:19,573 how it is you've been racing greyhound champions 1002 00:35:19,574 --> 00:35:21,740 for six to 11 years... 1003 00:35:21,741 --> 00:35:23,307 And I never heard of you? 1004 00:35:23,308 --> 00:35:26,641 Well, actually, I can explain that. 1005 00:35:26,642 --> 00:35:28,308 You know, actually, we-- 1006 00:35:28,309 --> 00:35:29,674 The past few years, 1007 00:35:29,675 --> 00:35:30,000 we've been racing exclusively in Argentina. 1008 00:35:30,001 --> 00:35:32,108 We've been racing exclusively in Argentina. 1009 00:35:32,109 --> 00:35:34,109 Yeah, you might've seen us on telemundo before? 1010 00:35:34,110 --> 00:35:35,408 No, I didn't. 1011 00:35:35,409 --> 00:35:37,176 I didn't know they raced dogs in Argentina. 1012 00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:39,343 Yeah, ever since the shah took over. 1013 00:35:39,344 --> 00:35:42,277 The shah of Argentina? 1014 00:35:42,278 --> 00:35:43,510 Look, Mr. Kirby, 1015 00:35:43,511 --> 00:35:45,711 we got a dog here who's itching to run. 1016 00:35:45,712 --> 00:35:47,444 How about this weekend? 1017 00:35:47,445 --> 00:35:50,445 This weekend is the track's anniversary derby. 1018 00:35:50,446 --> 00:35:51,578 Well, good. Sign us up. 1019 00:35:51,579 --> 00:35:53,578 Gentlemen. Gentlemen. 1020 00:35:53,579 --> 00:35:56,145 That's a $20,000 stakes race. 1021 00:35:56,146 --> 00:35:58,512 Twenty thousand dollars? American dollars? 1022 00:35:58,513 --> 00:35:59,999 What he is saying is that 1023 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:00,146 what he is saying is that 1024 00:36:00,147 --> 00:36:01,613 we don't normally race for such low stakes. 1025 00:36:01,614 --> 00:36:03,180 No, we don't. 1026 00:36:03,181 --> 00:36:04,714 But we'll make an exception. 1027 00:36:04,715 --> 00:36:06,615 Hell, yeah, we will make an exception. 1028 00:36:08,115 --> 00:36:09,448 Stop. 1029 00:36:09,449 --> 00:36:11,081 Well, kennel sickness 1030 00:36:11,082 --> 00:36:13,514 has hit us pretty hard this week. 1031 00:36:13,515 --> 00:36:15,448 It's a very extensive screening process. 1032 00:36:15,449 --> 00:36:16,482 Who's his sire? 1033 00:36:16,483 --> 00:36:17,315 What's a sire? 1034 00:36:17,316 --> 00:36:18,382 His dam? 1035 00:36:18,383 --> 00:36:19,582 His damn what? 1036 00:36:19,583 --> 00:36:21,149 His lineage? 1037 00:36:21,150 --> 00:36:22,916 Are you talking about his tailor? 1038 00:36:22,917 --> 00:36:24,216 No, he don't wear clothes. 1039 00:36:24,217 --> 00:36:26,084 He's got a 10-inch inseam. 1040 00:36:27,417 --> 00:36:29,999 Mr. Kirby, look. We got a dog. He's ready to run. 1041 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:30,285 Mr. Kirby, look. We got a dog. He's ready to run. 1042 00:36:30,286 --> 00:36:32,184 You've had some scratches. 1043 00:36:32,185 --> 00:36:33,284 All we want is a chance. 1044 00:36:33,285 --> 00:36:34,152 That's it. 1045 00:36:36,186 --> 00:36:38,452 All right, I'm going to give him a time trial tomorrow. 1046 00:36:38,453 --> 00:36:40,585 If he qualifies, 1047 00:36:40,586 --> 00:36:41,885 he runs. 1048 00:36:41,886 --> 00:36:43,286 Oh, that's what I'm sayin'! 1049 00:36:43,287 --> 00:36:44,386 Who's his trainer? 1050 00:36:44,387 --> 00:36:46,186 He don't need no trainer. No. 1051 00:36:46,187 --> 00:36:47,867 He don't need no trainer. He's housebroken. 1052 00:36:49,088 --> 00:36:51,355 He needs a trainer. 1053 00:36:53,955 --> 00:36:55,487 Get dodge. 1054 00:36:55,488 --> 00:36:56,888 He's the guy for you. 1055 00:37:10,024 --> 00:37:11,357 You dodge? 1056 00:37:11,358 --> 00:37:12,490 Hell, no. 1057 00:37:12,491 --> 00:37:14,290 You got the wrong sucker. 1058 00:37:14,291 --> 00:37:15,423 Why? Who's asking? 1059 00:37:15,424 --> 00:37:17,158 We're looking for a trainer. 1060 00:37:19,225 --> 00:37:20,625 Why didn't you say so, man? 1061 00:37:20,626 --> 00:37:22,126 What are you, socially retarded? 1062 00:37:23,126 --> 00:37:24,958 What's up? The name is dodge. 1063 00:37:24,959 --> 00:37:26,126 What's up? Okay. 1064 00:37:27,159 --> 00:37:28,259 Who--? Mr. Kirby sent you? 1065 00:37:28,260 --> 00:37:29,592 Yeah. Well, that's cool, 1066 00:37:29,593 --> 00:37:30,000 'cause I'm a canine behaviorist. 1067 00:37:30,001 --> 00:37:31,126 'Cause I'm a canine behaviorist. 1068 00:37:31,127 --> 00:37:33,026 I train, board and breed greyhounds. 1069 00:37:33,027 --> 00:37:35,060 I specialize in temperamentally unsound, 1070 00:37:35,061 --> 00:37:37,127 psychologically unstable genetical throwbacks. 1071 00:37:37,128 --> 00:37:38,927 I do not pick up excreta. 1072 00:37:38,928 --> 00:37:40,061 And I run my facilities 1073 00:37:40,062 --> 00:37:41,196 right out of this place. 1074 00:37:43,196 --> 00:37:45,629 It says here you sell timeshares in the poconos. 1075 00:37:45,630 --> 00:37:48,895 What? Let me see that. 1076 00:37:48,896 --> 00:37:49,929 Oh, yeah, my bad. 1077 00:37:49,930 --> 00:37:50,895 Wrong card, man. 1078 00:37:50,896 --> 00:37:52,196 "Importifications." 1079 00:37:52,197 --> 00:37:54,063 "Underage mail order brides." 1080 00:37:54,064 --> 00:37:55,496 "S&m fashion consultant." 1081 00:37:55,497 --> 00:37:57,030 You know what? We don't need cards, man. 1082 00:37:57,031 --> 00:37:59,430 We don't need cards. We're dog people. 1083 00:37:59,431 --> 00:37:59,999 We got a bond, a fellowship. 1084 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:00,998 We got a bond, a fellowship. 1085 00:38:00,999 --> 00:38:02,864 Hey, look at the dog. Look at him. 1086 00:38:02,865 --> 00:38:04,465 He seems really bright, alert. 1087 00:38:04,466 --> 00:38:05,431 What's his name? 1088 00:38:05,432 --> 00:38:06,565 That's iggy. 1089 00:38:06,566 --> 00:38:08,531 I'm Ralph and this is ed. 1090 00:38:08,532 --> 00:38:10,366 Hey, Ralph, ed. 1091 00:38:10,367 --> 00:38:12,199 You carry your dog around on a rope? 1092 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:13,933 You siphon gas out of a car. 1093 00:38:13,934 --> 00:38:15,100 What's your point, man? 1094 00:38:15,101 --> 00:38:17,033 What? What, you--? That? 1095 00:38:17,034 --> 00:38:17,966 Yeah. 1096 00:38:17,967 --> 00:38:20,001 You think I'm stealing? 1097 00:38:20,002 --> 00:38:21,300 Man, that's my friend's car. 1098 00:38:21,301 --> 00:38:22,533 Come on. 1099 00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:24,401 We prank each other all the time. 1100 00:38:24,402 --> 00:38:26,334 You know. I siphon gas out of his car, 1101 00:38:26,335 --> 00:38:29,435 he siphons out of my car, yada-yada, blasé-blasé. 1102 00:38:29,436 --> 00:38:29,999 Hey, tell you what I'm gonna do. 1103 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,035 Hey, tell you what I'm gonna do. 1104 00:38:31,036 --> 00:38:33,969 I'm gonna train your dog for $500. Cash. 1105 00:38:33,970 --> 00:38:35,236 I don't know. 1106 00:38:35,237 --> 00:38:38,169 You know what? I'll let you think about it. 1107 00:38:38,170 --> 00:38:39,303 Give you a moment. 1108 00:38:39,304 --> 00:38:40,570 No pressure. 1109 00:38:40,571 --> 00:38:42,903 I don't know. Does this guy look like a dog trainer? 1110 00:38:42,904 --> 00:38:45,337 What does a dog trainer look like? I don't know. 1111 00:38:45,338 --> 00:38:47,337 Kirby said dodge. Yeah. That's... 1112 00:38:47,338 --> 00:38:49,205 He said dodge, right? That's what Kirby said. 1113 00:38:49,206 --> 00:38:50,472 Okay. All right. Okay, we'll do it. 1114 00:38:50,473 --> 00:38:51,871 We'll do it. 1115 00:38:51,872 --> 00:38:52,905 All right. Good decision, man! 1116 00:38:52,906 --> 00:38:54,772 Five hundred cash. 1117 00:38:54,773 --> 00:38:55,839 That's it, baby. 1118 00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,106 Let me check. 1119 00:38:58,107 --> 00:38:59,999 Hey! Hey, nice man-purse! 1120 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:00,539 Hey! Hey, nice man-purse! 1121 00:39:00,540 --> 00:39:03,173 You mean this Fanny-pack thing? 1122 00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:05,140 I got this off a homeless guy for a quarter. 1123 00:39:05,141 --> 00:39:07,041 Some sucker made, like, a thousand of these. 1124 00:39:07,042 --> 00:39:09,141 Hey, look, what are we going to do about the training? 1125 00:39:09,142 --> 00:39:11,341 It's like this. Let break it down for you, okay? 1126 00:39:11,342 --> 00:39:13,174 We're a partnership now, a ménage à trois, all right? 1127 00:39:13,175 --> 00:39:15,109 You put in capital, I put in experience. 1128 00:39:15,110 --> 00:39:16,376 At the end, you get the experience. 1129 00:39:16,377 --> 00:39:17,842 I keep the capital. Is that cool? 1130 00:39:17,843 --> 00:39:19,976 Great. Great. 1131 00:39:19,977 --> 00:39:21,442 The thing is, I like to work at night, 1132 00:39:21,443 --> 00:39:22,876 if you don't mind. 1133 00:39:22,877 --> 00:39:24,776 During the day, it's just too crowded. 1134 00:39:24,777 --> 00:39:25,944 Too many people, too many dogs. 1135 00:39:25,945 --> 00:39:27,176 So let's say we meet out 1136 00:39:27,177 --> 00:39:28,744 back over there about 9 sharp? 1137 00:39:28,745 --> 00:39:29,999 Okay, 9, 9:00, okay. 1138 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:30,844 Okay, 9, 9:00, okay. 1139 00:39:30,845 --> 00:39:32,144 Remember, there are no bad dogs, 1140 00:39:32,145 --> 00:39:34,112 only bad owners. 1141 00:39:34,113 --> 00:39:35,444 All right? Remember that. 1142 00:39:35,445 --> 00:39:36,779 I gotta bounce. 1143 00:39:45,047 --> 00:39:46,279 Hi, mom! 1144 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:47,947 Somewhere around the third flight of stairs, 1145 00:39:47,948 --> 00:39:49,081 I think I caught tb. 1146 00:39:50,448 --> 00:39:52,914 Here. Oh, a pie! 1147 00:39:52,915 --> 00:39:54,414 Oh, and a box of wine. 1148 00:39:54,415 --> 00:39:56,315 That is so nice. 1149 00:39:56,316 --> 00:39:57,781 Don't get too excited. 1150 00:39:57,782 --> 00:39:59,181 I'm taking back what we don't drink. 1151 00:39:59,182 --> 00:39:59,999 Just have a seat on the couch and relax, 1152 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,016 just have a seat on the couch and relax, 1153 00:40:01,017 --> 00:40:03,016 and I'll just pop a hole in the top 1154 00:40:03,017 --> 00:40:04,349 and bring you a glass. 1155 00:40:04,350 --> 00:40:05,949 Table setting for three? 1156 00:40:05,950 --> 00:40:06,883 Does that mean he's going to be here? 1157 00:40:06,884 --> 00:40:07,883 He lives here. 1158 00:40:07,884 --> 00:40:09,350 Not for long, 1159 00:40:09,351 --> 00:40:11,050 if Jesus would quit making movies 1160 00:40:11,051 --> 00:40:12,852 and answer the prayers of a righteous woman. 1161 00:40:19,886 --> 00:40:24,420 ♪ Seconds of pleasure ♪ 1162 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,999 ♪ life's little treasures ♪ 1163 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,087 ♪ life's little treasures ♪ 1164 00:40:33,855 --> 00:40:35,454 Hey, sweet face. 1165 00:40:38,322 --> 00:40:41,023 Hell, no! Oh, no. 1166 00:40:42,356 --> 00:40:43,688 What happened? 1167 00:40:43,689 --> 00:40:44,756 You married a damn pervert! 1168 00:40:44,757 --> 00:40:46,255 That's what happened! 1169 00:40:46,256 --> 00:40:48,089 Look, baby, it was just a big misunderstanding. 1170 00:40:48,090 --> 00:40:50,256 Next, you'll probably say you thought I was Alice. 1171 00:40:50,257 --> 00:40:52,289 Of course I thought you were Alice! 1172 00:40:52,290 --> 00:40:54,124 Aha! 1173 00:40:54,125 --> 00:40:56,723 That's exactly what a pervert would say. 1174 00:40:56,724 --> 00:40:59,157 Woman, one day, you are gonna push me too far! 1175 00:40:59,158 --> 00:40:59,999 The only thing that can push you is a bulldozer! 1176 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,225 The only thing that can push you is a bulldozer! 1177 00:41:02,226 --> 00:41:04,225 Mom. 1178 00:41:04,226 --> 00:41:05,925 Mom, how about you go wash up, 1179 00:41:05,926 --> 00:41:07,358 'cause everything's under control, 1180 00:41:07,359 --> 00:41:10,193 and I'll just deal with my little pervert here. 1181 00:41:16,827 --> 00:41:19,694 What is she doing here? 1182 00:41:19,695 --> 00:41:21,761 I'm asking my mother for the money tonight. 1183 00:41:21,762 --> 00:41:22,894 Tonight? Yes. 1184 00:41:22,895 --> 00:41:24,294 No. No, no, no. Not tonight. 1185 00:41:24,295 --> 00:41:27,294 Tonight you can't because, um, 1186 00:41:27,295 --> 00:41:29,862 Norton and I have to go to the lodge. 1187 00:41:29,863 --> 00:41:30,000 The lodge? 1188 00:41:30,001 --> 00:41:31,029 The lodge? 1189 00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:32,295 What are you, Fred flintstone? 1190 00:41:32,296 --> 00:41:33,863 The lodge? 1191 00:41:33,864 --> 00:41:36,729 Look, I-- woman, I-- I got somewhere to be. 1192 00:41:36,730 --> 00:41:38,063 That's all you need to know. 1193 00:41:38,064 --> 00:41:40,630 And that's it-tah! 1194 00:41:40,631 --> 00:41:42,064 I refuse to lose this house 1195 00:41:42,065 --> 00:41:44,031 over another one of your half-assed schemes. 1196 00:41:44,032 --> 00:41:46,097 Half-assed schemes? 1197 00:41:46,098 --> 00:41:46,998 Mm-hm. 1198 00:41:46,999 --> 00:41:48,831 Let me tell you something. 1199 00:41:48,832 --> 00:41:51,332 This country was built on half-assed schemes. 1200 00:41:51,333 --> 00:41:53,632 I'm talking about real inventive stuff here. 1201 00:41:53,633 --> 00:41:56,932 Like the guy who came up with the thong. Okay? 1202 00:41:56,933 --> 00:41:59,733 He was short on material and he used what he had! 1203 00:41:59,734 --> 00:42:00,000 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 1204 00:42:00,001 --> 00:42:00,800 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 1205 00:42:00,801 --> 00:42:03,034 I'm asking my mother 1206 00:42:03,035 --> 00:42:04,933 for the money for the house tonight, 1207 00:42:04,934 --> 00:42:06,701 and I expect you to be on your very best behavior. 1208 00:42:06,702 --> 00:42:09,301 Look-- Ralph kramden... 1209 00:42:09,302 --> 00:42:12,636 Your very best behavior. 1210 00:42:24,738 --> 00:42:27,304 Well, so far, everything's edible. 1211 00:42:34,639 --> 00:42:35,772 Uh... 1212 00:42:35,773 --> 00:42:37,172 How about I get the entrées? 1213 00:42:37,173 --> 00:42:38,305 Ooh, entrées! 1214 00:42:38,306 --> 00:42:40,273 You going to France for those? 1215 00:42:46,775 --> 00:42:49,141 Just one good swing. 1216 00:42:49,142 --> 00:42:50,840 What are you doing? 1217 00:42:50,841 --> 00:42:53,141 Trixie's coming home. I couldn't let her see iggy. 1218 00:42:53,142 --> 00:42:55,208 You can't leave him here. Alice's mama is over for dinner. 1219 00:42:55,209 --> 00:42:57,242 She's in there right now asking for our house money. 1220 00:42:57,243 --> 00:42:59,999 So if Alice get the check and she tries to deposit-- 1221 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:00,709 So if Alice get the check and she tries to deposit-- 1222 00:43:00,710 --> 00:43:02,776 I know. She's gonna know the account is empty. 1223 00:43:02,777 --> 00:43:04,809 That's why this meal can't go well. 1224 00:43:04,810 --> 00:43:05,877 How you gonna do that? 1225 00:43:05,878 --> 00:43:07,077 I know you're in there 1226 00:43:07,078 --> 00:43:08,110 eating all our dinners. 1227 00:43:08,111 --> 00:43:09,244 Just don't make 1228 00:43:09,245 --> 00:43:10,810 the same mistake you made last time. 1229 00:43:10,811 --> 00:43:14,079 When you hit plate, stop! 1230 00:43:14,945 --> 00:43:16,612 Ha, ha! 1231 00:43:28,181 --> 00:43:29,999 Oh, you going straight to hell for this one. 1232 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,720 Oh, you going straight to hell for this one. 1233 00:43:33,014 --> 00:43:35,248 Mother Gibson, that's free-range chicken. 1234 00:43:35,249 --> 00:43:37,148 What a chicken does on his free time 1235 00:43:37,149 --> 00:43:39,248 is no never mind to me. 1236 00:43:39,249 --> 00:43:41,281 This is too much food for me. I'm on a diet. 1237 00:43:41,282 --> 00:43:43,149 Oh, here, take my plate. I don't have that much. 1238 00:43:43,150 --> 00:43:44,748 Thank you, baby. 1239 00:43:44,749 --> 00:43:46,182 I wanted your mother to have the white meat. 1240 00:43:46,183 --> 00:43:47,503 I'm perfectly happy with the dark. 1241 00:43:48,950 --> 00:43:50,216 Give me the white meant, then. 1242 00:43:50,217 --> 00:43:51,283 No, it's fine. Give it. 1243 00:43:51,284 --> 00:43:52,250 Ralph. 1244 00:43:52,251 --> 00:43:53,884 No, give me-- Ralph-- 1245 00:43:53,885 --> 00:43:55,784 Give me the plate, woman! 1246 00:43:55,785 --> 00:43:56,851 Mama? 1247 00:43:58,152 --> 00:43:59,151 Mm. 1248 00:43:59,152 --> 00:43:59,999 Mm-mm-mm. 1249 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,152 Mm-mm-mm. 1250 00:44:01,153 --> 00:44:03,918 The chicken is delicious. 1251 00:44:03,919 --> 00:44:05,252 Ralph? 1252 00:44:05,253 --> 00:44:06,218 Eat. 1253 00:44:06,219 --> 00:44:07,986 Yeah. 1254 00:44:07,987 --> 00:44:09,627 I've never seen you turn down food before. 1255 00:44:15,021 --> 00:44:17,820 So, what do you want, Alice? 1256 00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:20,587 I thought we'd wait till after dinner to talk about that. 1257 00:44:20,588 --> 00:44:22,155 I thought you'd marry a lawyer. 1258 00:44:22,156 --> 00:44:24,156 Apparently, we both thought wrong. 1259 00:44:25,890 --> 00:44:27,689 Oh, let me guess. 1260 00:44:27,690 --> 00:44:28,655 You need money? 1261 00:44:28,656 --> 00:44:29,999 We want to buy a house. 1262 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:30,157 We want to buy a house. 1263 00:44:30,158 --> 00:44:32,222 It's a duplex, actually, with ed and trixie. 1264 00:44:32,223 --> 00:44:33,956 Well, you know, truth be told, 1265 00:44:33,957 --> 00:44:36,856 buying a house is a big investment. 1266 00:44:36,857 --> 00:44:38,123 Yeah, that is the truth. 1267 00:44:38,124 --> 00:44:39,991 That is the truth. And it hurts, you know? 1268 00:44:39,992 --> 00:44:41,524 I can see that. 1269 00:44:41,525 --> 00:44:44,692 Never seen you so torn up about money before. 1270 00:44:44,693 --> 00:44:47,525 We are putting in all of our savings, but we're still short. 1271 00:44:47,526 --> 00:44:48,758 About $10,000. 1272 00:44:48,759 --> 00:44:51,092 Ten thousand dollars? 1273 00:44:51,093 --> 00:44:52,726 Who do you think I am, weezy Jefferson? 1274 00:44:52,727 --> 00:44:53,893 God rest her soul. 1275 00:44:53,894 --> 00:44:57,627 But it's a beautiful duplex, mama, 1276 00:44:57,628 --> 00:44:59,727 with a back yard and everything. 1277 00:44:59,728 --> 00:45:00,000 Right near the diner, even. 1278 00:45:00,001 --> 00:45:00,994 Right near the diner, even. 1279 00:45:00,995 --> 00:45:02,460 So, what do you think? 1280 00:45:02,461 --> 00:45:03,927 You should have married Larry filmore. 1281 00:45:03,928 --> 00:45:05,661 He's taking over the funeral parlor. 1282 00:45:05,662 --> 00:45:07,095 Aah! Bathroom! 1283 00:45:08,929 --> 00:45:10,728 Just give me some time to marinate on it. 1284 00:45:10,729 --> 00:45:12,995 That's fair enough. 1285 00:45:12,996 --> 00:45:14,696 Is something wrong with you? 1286 00:45:14,697 --> 00:45:15,729 You know, it's just 1287 00:45:15,730 --> 00:45:17,029 that we've been so worried 1288 00:45:17,030 --> 00:45:19,163 about asking you for the money for the house, 1289 00:45:19,164 --> 00:45:23,663 and sharing a meal over it is just a beautiful thing. 1290 00:45:23,664 --> 00:45:24,930 I'm ready for dessert. Anybody? 1291 00:45:24,931 --> 00:45:26,464 Yeah. Mama brought a pie. 1292 00:45:26,465 --> 00:45:27,865 And mama's gonna go get it. 1293 00:45:28,865 --> 00:45:29,999 Mama's coming to the kitchen? 1294 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:30,864 Mama's coming to the kitchen? 1295 00:45:30,865 --> 00:45:32,465 Your mama's going to the kitchen! 1296 00:45:32,466 --> 00:45:33,965 Tell the truth. 1297 00:45:33,966 --> 00:45:35,733 You're on the pipe, aren't you, boy? 1298 00:45:37,500 --> 00:45:39,866 Oh, there it is! 1299 00:45:39,867 --> 00:45:43,001 My famous apple crumble crisp pie! 1300 00:45:46,001 --> 00:45:46,968 Oh! 1301 00:45:49,535 --> 00:45:50,967 I don't even want to know. 1302 00:45:50,968 --> 00:45:51,901 Where do you keep the paper towels? 1303 00:45:51,902 --> 00:45:53,135 Oh, right up under the... 1304 00:45:55,636 --> 00:45:56,935 We don't have any. 1305 00:45:56,936 --> 00:45:58,602 We, you know, I don't believe in that, 1306 00:45:58,603 --> 00:45:59,999 with the rain forest and everything. 1307 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:00,636 With the rain forest and everything. 1308 00:46:00,637 --> 00:46:03,504 You know, there's something really, really wrong with you. 1309 00:46:08,771 --> 00:46:09,737 Where's the dog? 1310 00:46:09,738 --> 00:46:11,105 He's right there. 1311 00:46:16,139 --> 00:46:17,905 Look, we gotta go right now. 1312 00:46:17,906 --> 00:46:18,806 They said if we don't get there by 9, 1313 00:46:18,807 --> 00:46:20,105 we can't race. 1314 00:46:20,106 --> 00:46:22,872 They're not going to let me leave right now. 1315 00:46:22,873 --> 00:46:24,673 Ralph, come join us for dessert! 1316 00:46:24,674 --> 00:46:27,040 Okay, babe. I'll be in there in just a second. 1317 00:46:27,041 --> 00:46:28,740 The pilot light went out. 1318 00:46:28,741 --> 00:46:29,999 He's fixing the pilot. 1319 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,007 He's fixing the pilot. 1320 00:46:31,008 --> 00:46:32,441 He's handy. 1321 00:46:32,442 --> 00:46:33,641 How do we get out of here? 1322 00:46:33,642 --> 00:46:35,176 The fire escape. 1323 00:46:37,042 --> 00:46:38,642 Oh, hell, no. 1324 00:46:38,643 --> 00:46:40,942 Boy, you coming in here or not? My pie's getting stale. 1325 00:46:40,943 --> 00:46:42,476 Damn. 1326 00:46:43,576 --> 00:46:44,742 I got another riddle for you. 1327 00:46:44,743 --> 00:46:46,076 What's lighter than a feather, 1328 00:46:46,077 --> 00:46:49,643 but yet the strongest man can't hold it very long? 1329 00:46:49,644 --> 00:46:51,043 Not now, Norton, okay? 1330 00:46:51,044 --> 00:46:52,976 I'm trying not to break my neck up here. 1331 00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:54,610 Come on. What's lighter than a feather--? 1332 00:46:54,611 --> 00:46:55,977 Your breath. 1333 00:46:55,978 --> 00:46:57,811 Wow, you a genius! 1334 00:46:57,812 --> 00:46:59,044 Ralph? 1335 00:46:59,045 --> 00:46:59,999 Almost got it, babe. 1336 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:00,012 Almost got it, babe. 1337 00:47:00,013 --> 00:47:01,912 I'll be right there. 1338 00:47:01,913 --> 00:47:04,579 Are you sure this thing can hold us? 1339 00:47:04,580 --> 00:47:07,014 We come down this all the time, Ralph. 1340 00:47:08,947 --> 00:47:10,014 Oh, man! 1341 00:47:11,381 --> 00:47:12,979 Norton, you know I hate heights. 1342 00:47:12,980 --> 00:47:14,413 Come on, Ralph. 1343 00:47:14,414 --> 00:47:16,381 You can do it. 1344 00:47:16,382 --> 00:47:17,848 Just chill, man. I'll help you. 1345 00:47:18,981 --> 00:47:20,414 I can't, man. 1346 00:47:20,415 --> 00:47:21,981 I ain't gonna be able to do this, man. 1347 00:47:21,982 --> 00:47:23,948 Ralph, you're gonna get us busted! 1348 00:47:23,949 --> 00:47:25,415 Go slow. 1349 00:47:25,416 --> 00:47:26,982 Aaah! Whoa, whoa. 1350 00:47:26,983 --> 00:47:28,882 Hold on, Ralph. Come on, Ralph. 1351 00:47:28,883 --> 00:47:29,999 What's the noise, man? 1352 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:30,716 What's the noise, man? 1353 00:47:30,717 --> 00:47:32,450 Come on. Come on. 1354 00:47:32,451 --> 00:47:33,750 I'm cool, right? 1355 00:47:33,751 --> 00:47:35,550 I'm good. Everything-- See, Ralph? 1356 00:47:35,551 --> 00:47:36,550 It ain't that bad. 1357 00:47:36,551 --> 00:47:37,751 Everything-- 1358 00:47:38,951 --> 00:47:40,051 Jesus! 1359 00:47:47,319 --> 00:47:49,418 - You see anything? - No. 1360 00:47:49,419 --> 00:47:51,720 Now, where'd that crazy husband of yours run off to? 1361 00:47:51,721 --> 00:47:53,453 You know, mom, I think he said something 1362 00:47:53,454 --> 00:47:54,786 about a meeting at the lodge tonight. 1363 00:47:54,787 --> 00:47:57,420 Ooh! 1364 00:47:57,421 --> 00:47:59,688 Oh, well, that's more dessert for us. 1365 00:48:02,988 --> 00:48:06,922 Ralph, I gotta confess something to you. 1366 00:48:06,923 --> 00:48:08,755 Man, just hold on. We gonna die! 1367 00:48:08,756 --> 00:48:09,922 I gotta get my life right with the lord. 1368 00:48:09,923 --> 00:48:12,923 One day, I was coming down there 1369 00:48:12,924 --> 00:48:15,556 to get some milk from y'all on the fire escape, 1370 00:48:15,557 --> 00:48:17,324 and I seen Alice naked. 1371 00:48:18,725 --> 00:48:19,623 I ain't lyin'. 1372 00:48:19,624 --> 00:48:21,724 And sometimes... 1373 00:48:21,725 --> 00:48:22,991 I think about her. 1374 00:48:24,325 --> 00:48:25,325 You-- 1375 00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:37,627 Ah! 1376 00:48:39,627 --> 00:48:40,760 I forgot my keys. 1377 00:48:40,761 --> 00:48:42,359 Yeah, right. 1378 00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:43,960 Hey, I'm not going to lie to you, man. 1379 00:48:43,961 --> 00:48:45,661 I'm having problems, okay? 1380 00:48:45,662 --> 00:48:47,494 My wife left me. 1381 00:48:47,495 --> 00:48:49,761 Technically, she's not my wife, she's somebody else's. 1382 00:48:49,762 --> 00:48:51,028 But the pain lingers all the same, 1383 00:48:51,029 --> 00:48:52,062 you know what I mean? 1384 00:48:53,029 --> 00:48:54,462 Duck, duck, duck! 1385 00:48:54,463 --> 00:48:56,995 What you mean, "duck"? What's going on? 1386 00:48:56,996 --> 00:48:59,730 It's okay. It's all right. No problem. He didn't see us. 1387 00:48:59,731 --> 00:49:00,000 Are we breaking in here? 1388 00:49:00,001 --> 00:49:00,996 Are we breaking in here? 1389 00:49:00,997 --> 00:49:02,696 We not breaking in. 1390 00:49:02,697 --> 00:49:04,796 Why you profiling me, baby? Why you profiling me? 1391 00:49:04,797 --> 00:49:06,397 It's a competitive business! 1392 00:49:06,398 --> 00:49:08,364 I don't want other trainers to steal my secrets! 1393 00:49:11,466 --> 00:49:12,598 Okay, fellas. 1394 00:49:12,599 --> 00:49:14,765 Dog racing is about show business, 1395 00:49:14,766 --> 00:49:15,865 and the show counts. 1396 00:49:15,866 --> 00:49:17,466 And it starts the minute 1397 00:49:17,467 --> 00:49:19,432 you walk your dog onto the battlefield. 1398 00:49:19,433 --> 00:49:20,667 And this is the walk. 1399 00:49:23,633 --> 00:49:25,633 Brisk. Brisk. Brisk. Brisk. Brisk. Brisk. 1400 00:49:25,634 --> 00:49:27,467 Arms down, arms down, arms down. 1401 00:49:27,468 --> 00:49:29,500 Confidence. Don't be arrogant. Don't be arrogant. 1402 00:49:29,501 --> 00:49:30,000 It's not a tug of war. It's not a tug of war. 1403 00:49:30,001 --> 00:49:32,768 It's not a tug of war. It's not a tug of war. 1404 00:49:32,769 --> 00:49:34,634 Watch out! Watch out! Get the dog! Get the dog! 1405 00:49:34,635 --> 00:49:35,635 Get the dog! Get the dog! 1406 00:49:36,802 --> 00:49:39,602 There you go. Good boy. 1407 00:49:39,603 --> 00:49:41,469 He's great, man, great. Six-five pounds. 1408 00:49:41,470 --> 00:49:43,769 Less than 4 percent body fat. 1409 00:49:43,770 --> 00:49:45,703 All musc-les. Yeah. 1410 00:49:45,704 --> 00:49:48,003 You know, I had a French aerobics teacher. 1411 00:49:48,004 --> 00:49:50,537 Leslie was her name. Just like that, really flexible, 1412 00:49:50,538 --> 00:49:53,572 except not enough soft places, you know what I'm saying? Right? 1413 00:49:56,872 --> 00:49:58,472 Okay, for iggy to be competitive, 1414 00:49:58,473 --> 00:49:59,999 he's gotta run at least a 32.30. 1415 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:00,473 He's gotta run at least a 32.30. 1416 00:50:00,474 --> 00:50:01,772 This is the moment of truth, fellas. 1417 00:50:01,773 --> 00:50:04,439 Ralph, Eddie, you ready? 1418 00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:05,607 Three! Two! One! 1419 00:50:08,841 --> 00:50:10,507 All right, fellas. 1420 00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:13,307 We run into a couple problems. Nothing minor. 1421 00:50:13,308 --> 00:50:15,241 I gotta train his mind. 1422 00:50:15,242 --> 00:50:18,441 That's it, iggy. Relax. Relax. That's it. 1423 00:50:18,442 --> 00:50:19,575 Good boy. 1424 00:50:19,576 --> 00:50:20,909 Breathe. 1425 00:50:22,609 --> 00:50:23,743 Breathe. That's it. 1426 00:50:36,178 --> 00:50:37,643 You know, my parents find it 1427 00:50:37,644 --> 00:50:38,910 really difficult to explain to people 1428 00:50:38,911 --> 00:50:40,911 what I do for a living. Hm. 1429 00:50:40,912 --> 00:50:44,645 Iggy, you are one of the most ancient canine breeds. 1430 00:50:44,646 --> 00:50:46,212 The pharaoh's favorite. 1431 00:50:46,213 --> 00:50:48,879 The Greek king's son. 1432 00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:50,612 You're a born winner. A born winner, boy. 1433 00:50:50,613 --> 00:50:51,481 Live up to it. 1434 00:50:58,749 --> 00:50:59,999 I... I don't know. I don't know. 1435 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,240 I... I don't know. I don't know. 1436 00:51:01,949 --> 00:51:05,348 - Listen to me, pooch. - Okay? I'm talking to you! 1437 00:51:05,349 --> 00:51:06,882 Nobody quits on Tony Montana, you hear me? 1438 00:51:06,883 --> 00:51:08,849 You're a dog. 1439 00:51:08,850 --> 00:51:11,583 It's a racetrack. 1440 00:51:11,584 --> 00:51:13,182 You can win this thing! 1441 00:51:13,183 --> 00:51:15,150 Iggy, baby, you listen to me. 1442 00:51:15,151 --> 00:51:16,583 I'm not who you think I am. 1443 00:51:16,584 --> 00:51:18,450 I'm not the best trainer in the world. 1444 00:51:18,451 --> 00:51:20,250 I started out with nothing and I still got most of it left. 1445 00:51:20,251 --> 00:51:22,450 They wanted me to get you pregnant by a pit bull. 1446 00:51:22,451 --> 00:51:24,184 Iggy! 1447 00:51:24,185 --> 00:51:26,284 Look at me when I'm talking to you! 1448 00:51:26,285 --> 00:51:28,152 Your dogs would've had little bodies with big heads, 1449 00:51:28,153 --> 00:51:29,999 just walking down the street like this. 1450 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:30,386 Just walking down the street like this. 1451 00:51:30,387 --> 00:51:34,219 You could have been a contender, but instead, you're a bum! 1452 00:51:34,220 --> 00:51:36,753 You win that race, you get the power, 1453 00:51:36,754 --> 00:51:38,221 and then you get the bitches! 1454 00:51:39,488 --> 00:51:40,588 Oh, yeah, so many bitches. 1455 00:51:47,222 --> 00:51:50,122 All right, fellas, the dog's a straight-up dud. 1456 00:51:50,123 --> 00:51:51,722 What? A dud? Who you calling a dud? 1457 00:51:51,723 --> 00:51:53,188 What do you mean? 1458 00:51:53,189 --> 00:51:54,188 You're a trainer. Train the dog. 1459 00:51:54,189 --> 00:51:55,622 I've seen this dog move. 1460 00:51:55,623 --> 00:51:58,456 I've seen him move too. You're a dud! Iggy! 1461 00:51:58,457 --> 00:51:59,999 Were you drinking at the time when you saw him move? 1462 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:00,757 Were you drinking at the time when you saw him move? 1463 00:52:00,758 --> 00:52:03,590 Iggy, it's not that hard. 1464 00:52:03,591 --> 00:52:04,492 Watch this. 1465 00:52:06,792 --> 00:52:08,257 Let me think about it. 1466 00:52:08,258 --> 00:52:10,624 Let me just think, let me think. 1467 00:52:10,625 --> 00:52:12,492 I got it. I got it. 1468 00:52:12,493 --> 00:52:14,859 Why don't we Nancy kerrigan the other dogs? 1469 00:52:14,860 --> 00:52:16,792 You mean hit the dogs in the knee? 1470 00:52:16,793 --> 00:52:18,659 No, just the back, the hind legs. No. 1471 00:52:18,660 --> 00:52:20,259 All right, that's a little too aggressive for you? 1472 00:52:20,260 --> 00:52:22,193 Don't worry about it. Vitamins? 1473 00:52:22,194 --> 00:52:24,427 A little stronger than that. It works for me. 1474 00:52:24,428 --> 00:52:26,327 Nobody needs to know. They don't screen dogs. 1475 00:52:26,328 --> 00:52:27,494 They don't? 1476 00:52:27,495 --> 00:52:28,393 No, no. 1477 00:52:28,394 --> 00:52:29,999 It's just between you and me. 1478 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:30,229 It's just between you and me. 1479 00:52:30,230 --> 00:52:31,728 What'd you get? 1480 00:52:31,729 --> 00:52:33,328 That was fast. 1481 00:52:33,329 --> 00:52:34,829 Hey, nice lap, Norton. 1482 00:52:35,829 --> 00:52:38,195 Eddie. Eddie, what do you think? 1483 00:52:38,196 --> 00:52:40,630 I don't know how we gonna get this dog to run. 1484 00:52:58,433 --> 00:52:59,665 Whoo! 1485 00:52:59,666 --> 00:53:00,000 Check that out. 1486 00:53:00,001 --> 00:53:00,700 Check that out. 1487 00:53:04,067 --> 00:53:06,700 Hey, boss. Psst. Check that out. 1488 00:53:06,701 --> 00:53:09,433 You're impressed at it, ain't you? 1489 00:53:09,434 --> 00:53:11,300 He's in. 1490 00:53:11,301 --> 00:53:13,334 Yeah! 1491 00:53:13,335 --> 00:53:16,301 Assuming you have all the proper paperwork. 1492 00:53:16,302 --> 00:53:18,635 You bring it to the owners party here tomorrow night. 1493 00:53:18,636 --> 00:53:20,201 Not a problem. 1494 00:53:20,202 --> 00:53:21,568 We'll have that paperwork for you. 1495 00:53:21,569 --> 00:53:23,568 We will definitely have the paperwork tomorrow. 1496 00:53:23,569 --> 00:53:25,169 What paperwork? 1497 00:53:25,170 --> 00:53:26,603 It's the dog's paperwork, 1498 00:53:26,604 --> 00:53:28,170 documenting authenticity of line, 1499 00:53:28,171 --> 00:53:29,569 license to race, proof of insurance, 1500 00:53:29,570 --> 00:53:30,000 membership in 1501 00:53:30,001 --> 00:53:30,803 membership in 1502 00:53:30,804 --> 00:53:32,370 the greyhound association of amer-- 1503 00:53:32,371 --> 00:53:34,103 Oh, wow. All the things you ain't got. 1504 00:53:34,104 --> 00:53:36,071 We can get it. No, you can't. 1505 00:53:36,072 --> 00:53:37,804 There's a three-week hold on the license alone. 1506 00:53:37,805 --> 00:53:40,204 - Damn. - But you know what? 1507 00:53:40,205 --> 00:53:42,505 'Cause you're my friends, I'll expedite it for $600 1508 00:53:42,506 --> 00:53:44,738 and you'll get it by tomorrow. $600? No, no. 1509 00:53:44,739 --> 00:53:47,706 You already charged us for the kennel, the dog leash, 1510 00:53:47,707 --> 00:53:49,206 $60 for puppy chow! 1511 00:53:49,207 --> 00:53:51,673 That was pedigree puppy chow, man. 1512 00:53:51,674 --> 00:53:53,039 Come on. I got overhead. 1513 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:54,041 All right, $300. 1514 00:53:57,674 --> 00:53:59,040 Excuse me. 1515 00:53:59,041 --> 00:53:59,999 Are you the health inspector? 1516 00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:01,041 Are you the health inspector? 1517 00:54:01,042 --> 00:54:03,041 Look, nice and clean. Spotless. 1518 00:54:03,042 --> 00:54:05,375 No, no, no. I need to speak to Alice kramden, please. 1519 00:54:05,376 --> 00:54:07,175 Oh, Alice is busy. 1520 00:54:07,176 --> 00:54:10,276 Excuse me? Do you know who I am? 1521 00:54:10,277 --> 00:54:13,143 Uh, no. No. You know who I am? 1522 00:54:13,144 --> 00:54:16,110 I was born in a one-bedroom farmhouse 1523 00:54:16,111 --> 00:54:18,077 with five brothers who I raised. 1524 00:54:18,078 --> 00:54:20,210 I was born in China 88 years ago 1525 00:54:20,211 --> 00:54:21,477 in a Chinese rice field. 1526 00:54:21,478 --> 00:54:23,111 I served my country in Vietnam, 1527 00:54:23,112 --> 00:54:24,744 where I was a golden gloves champion 1528 00:54:24,745 --> 00:54:26,411 three years running. 1529 00:54:26,412 --> 00:54:28,745 Before, when I come, my English not good-looking, 1530 00:54:28,746 --> 00:54:29,645 but now I speak perfect. 1531 00:54:29,646 --> 00:54:30,000 I raised six kids. 1532 00:54:30,001 --> 00:54:31,579 I raised six kids. 1533 00:54:31,580 --> 00:54:33,212 Buried two husbands. 1534 00:54:33,213 --> 00:54:35,013 And am on the lookout for number three. 1535 00:54:35,014 --> 00:54:36,646 Can I call you next week? 1536 00:54:36,647 --> 00:54:37,980 What? 1537 00:54:37,981 --> 00:54:39,580 Mama, what are you doing here? 1538 00:54:39,581 --> 00:54:42,680 Oh, hi, baby. 1539 00:54:42,681 --> 00:54:46,182 I just thought I'd drop this off in person. 1540 00:54:47,582 --> 00:54:49,414 Thank you! 1541 00:54:49,415 --> 00:54:50,715 Thank you! 1542 00:54:50,716 --> 00:54:52,182 You're welcome! Thank you! 1543 00:54:52,183 --> 00:54:54,749 Trix, we got the money for the house! 1544 00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:56,250 I can't believe it. 1545 00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:57,350 I didn't think you were gonna do it. 1546 00:54:57,351 --> 00:54:59,316 Well, I was skeptical. 1547 00:54:59,317 --> 00:54:59,999 But Ralph seemed so genuinely worried about it, 1548 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,416 but Ralph seemed so genuinely worried about it, 1549 00:55:01,417 --> 00:55:03,483 I figured maybe he's just coming around. 1550 00:55:03,484 --> 00:55:05,684 Yeah, maybe he is. 1551 00:55:05,685 --> 00:55:06,684 Thank you, mama! 1552 00:55:06,685 --> 00:55:08,086 Oh, you're welcome. 1553 00:55:15,653 --> 00:55:18,052 Once this is leveled, it will make a nice entry 1554 00:55:18,053 --> 00:55:19,319 to the underground parking. 1555 00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,287 Excuse me a moment. 1556 00:55:23,554 --> 00:55:25,320 Here to reconsider my offer? 1557 00:55:25,321 --> 00:55:27,687 I'm actually here to give Mrs. b some news. 1558 00:55:27,688 --> 00:55:28,654 Some really good news. 1559 00:55:28,655 --> 00:55:29,999 Well, she's not here. 1560 00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:30,954 Well, she's not here. 1561 00:55:30,955 --> 00:55:32,622 Please share it with me. 1562 00:55:32,623 --> 00:55:33,588 I'd love to. 1563 00:55:33,589 --> 00:55:34,688 We're gonna own this place. 1564 00:55:34,689 --> 00:55:36,522 Yeah. 1565 00:55:36,523 --> 00:55:39,055 Ed and trixie upstairs, and me and Ralph down. 1566 00:55:39,056 --> 00:55:41,689 Ralph...? 1567 00:55:41,690 --> 00:55:44,424 Ralph, my husband. Oh. 1568 00:55:45,424 --> 00:55:47,190 What? What's so funny? I'm sorry. 1569 00:55:47,191 --> 00:55:48,924 It's just, you know, come Monday, 1570 00:55:48,925 --> 00:55:50,492 you'll be trespassing. 1571 00:55:52,925 --> 00:55:54,358 Tell me this. 1572 00:55:54,359 --> 00:55:56,292 If there's no money in her account, 1573 00:55:56,293 --> 00:55:59,125 then why is this waitress hanging around my property? 1574 00:55:59,126 --> 00:55:59,999 Sir, I told you. I checked. 1575 00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,592 Sir, I told you. I checked. 1576 00:56:01,593 --> 00:56:02,959 They have nothing. 1577 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:04,659 No, they've got something, chip. 1578 00:56:04,660 --> 00:56:07,160 They've got something, somewhere. 1579 00:56:07,161 --> 00:56:09,593 Find out what the husband is up to. 1580 00:56:09,594 --> 00:56:10,995 Ralph kramden. 1581 00:56:13,896 --> 00:56:15,427 That woman I was telling you about? 1582 00:56:15,428 --> 00:56:17,195 Her name is marlena. 1583 00:56:17,196 --> 00:56:20,262 She's puerto rican. 1584 00:56:20,263 --> 00:56:23,296 My god. I've tried to talk to her, but... 1585 00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:25,263 Words won't come. 1586 00:56:25,264 --> 00:56:27,062 I can tell you a thing or two about women, 1587 00:56:27,063 --> 00:56:28,130 that's if you're ready to hear it. 1588 00:56:28,131 --> 00:56:29,429 It all begins with 1589 00:56:29,430 --> 00:56:29,999 letting her know who's boss. 1590 00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,564 Letting her know who's boss. 1591 00:56:31,565 --> 00:56:33,165 Very important. 1592 00:56:35,465 --> 00:56:38,064 Alice. What are you doing here? 1593 00:56:38,065 --> 00:56:39,565 I just came from the bank. 1594 00:56:39,566 --> 00:56:41,331 It's a funny story. You wanna hear it? 1595 00:56:41,332 --> 00:56:43,166 Let her know who's boss, Ralph! 1596 00:56:43,167 --> 00:56:44,566 Uh, look... 1597 00:56:44,567 --> 00:56:46,566 I can explain. 1598 00:56:46,567 --> 00:56:47,599 Oh, can you? 1599 00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:49,267 Can you now? 1600 00:56:49,268 --> 00:56:50,599 I tell the bank I want to withdraw $4000, 1601 00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,100 and they tell me 1602 00:56:52,101 --> 00:56:53,500 not only is our account empty, 1603 00:56:53,501 --> 00:56:55,034 but here's the punch line: 1604 00:56:55,035 --> 00:56:57,967 We're overdrawn by $223.60. 1605 00:56:57,968 --> 00:56:59,301 Whoa, whoa, the bank said that? 1606 00:56:59,302 --> 00:56:59,999 No, no, there's gotta be a mistake, baby, 1607 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,269 no, no, there's gotta be a mistake, baby, 1608 00:57:02,270 --> 00:57:04,635 'cause I don't know nothing about no 60 cents. 1609 00:57:04,636 --> 00:57:06,602 Where's the money, Ralph? 1610 00:57:06,603 --> 00:57:09,170 I can explain, all right? 1611 00:57:09,171 --> 00:57:10,602 But, you know... 1612 00:57:10,603 --> 00:57:13,436 Taken out of context, it might sound a little crazy. 1613 00:57:13,437 --> 00:57:14,871 Try me. 1614 00:57:17,238 --> 00:57:20,237 Norton and I found a train in the sewer, see-- 1615 00:57:20,238 --> 00:57:22,006 I want you out of the apartment, Ralph. 1616 00:57:23,572 --> 00:57:24,572 Hold on! 1617 00:57:24,573 --> 00:57:25,572 Babe! Wait a minute! 1618 00:57:25,573 --> 00:57:27,305 Listen! Listen! 1619 00:57:27,306 --> 00:57:29,273 And then we got this dog out of the dumpster-- 1620 00:57:29,274 --> 00:57:29,999 I don't want to hear it! 1621 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:30,539 I don't want to hear it! 1622 00:57:30,540 --> 00:57:31,606 I'm done. 1623 00:57:31,607 --> 00:57:33,373 Come on, baby, just 24 more hours, okay? 1624 00:57:33,374 --> 00:57:35,973 Twenty-four more hours and then we can get on 1625 00:57:35,974 --> 00:57:38,174 to the life we both dreamed of. 1626 00:57:38,175 --> 00:57:40,140 And what life is that, Ralph? Huh? 1627 00:57:40,141 --> 00:57:42,208 You've always been so obsessed with your own dreams 1628 00:57:42,209 --> 00:57:43,607 that you never even bothered with mine. 1629 00:57:43,608 --> 00:57:45,475 How can you say that? 1630 00:57:45,476 --> 00:57:47,508 I want the house just as much as you do! 1631 00:57:47,509 --> 00:57:50,176 Then why haven't you been by to see it? 1632 00:57:50,177 --> 00:57:51,477 'Cause... 1633 00:57:53,911 --> 00:57:56,377 I mean... 1634 00:57:56,378 --> 00:57:59,477 Because you're selfish, Ralph kramden. 1635 00:57:59,478 --> 00:57:59,999 And I'm done playing the fool. 1636 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,278 And I'm done playing the fool. 1637 00:58:08,412 --> 00:58:11,112 Come on, move it, all right! 1638 00:58:11,113 --> 00:58:12,546 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Whatever! 1639 00:58:12,547 --> 00:58:15,479 Go ahead! Be my guest! 1640 00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:16,413 The trouble is yours! 1641 00:58:44,084 --> 00:58:46,017 Luckily for me, man, I'm nearsighted, 1642 00:58:46,018 --> 00:58:47,317 so I can date just about anybody. 1643 00:58:47,318 --> 00:58:48,884 I understand what you're saying. 1644 00:58:48,885 --> 00:58:50,051 Like I'm dating this lady right now, 1645 00:58:50,052 --> 00:58:51,984 she's about 40, 40-plus, whatever. 1646 00:58:51,985 --> 00:58:53,485 I don't want to marry her for her money, 1647 00:58:53,486 --> 00:58:55,052 but I don't know how else to get it, 1648 00:58:55,053 --> 00:58:56,752 you know what I'm saying? 1649 00:58:56,753 --> 00:58:58,752 You know, someday, 1650 00:58:58,753 --> 00:58:59,999 I'm gonna find somebody special who's not gonna press charges. 1651 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,486 I'm gonna find somebody special who's not gonna press charges. 1652 00:59:01,487 --> 00:59:02,753 There he is! 1653 00:59:02,754 --> 00:59:03,787 Finally! 1654 00:59:06,822 --> 00:59:07,755 Hey, keep it close. 1655 00:59:08,788 --> 00:59:09,821 Ralphie boy! 1656 00:59:09,822 --> 00:59:10,921 What are you wearing? 1657 00:59:10,922 --> 00:59:12,321 This is a a-list party. 1658 00:59:12,322 --> 00:59:15,189 You got d-list all over you, man. Look at me. 1659 00:59:15,190 --> 00:59:17,888 I'm wearing new underwear, even. Well, they're new to me, anyway. 1660 00:59:17,889 --> 00:59:19,289 Look, I couldn't change. 1661 00:59:19,290 --> 00:59:20,289 Alice kicked me out of the house. 1662 00:59:20,290 --> 00:59:21,289 Again? 1663 00:59:21,290 --> 00:59:23,290 She found out about the money. 1664 00:59:23,291 --> 00:59:25,156 And mad in a mug about the house. 1665 00:59:25,157 --> 00:59:26,323 It's serious. 1666 00:59:26,324 --> 00:59:28,090 Don't worry about it, Ralph. 1667 00:59:28,091 --> 00:59:29,757 Tomorrow, when iggy's in that winner's circle, 1668 00:59:29,758 --> 00:59:30,000 we gonna get paid, 1669 00:59:30,001 --> 00:59:31,124 we gonna get paid, 1670 00:59:31,125 --> 00:59:33,457 and the money will buy the girls the house. 1671 00:59:33,458 --> 00:59:35,224 Yeah, maybe you're right. 1672 00:59:35,225 --> 00:59:37,292 You got the paperwork for Kirby? 1673 00:59:37,293 --> 00:59:39,091 I never disappoint 'cause I'm always on-point, baby. 1674 00:59:39,092 --> 00:59:40,392 Then let's do this. 1675 00:59:40,393 --> 00:59:42,392 Ralph, they're not going to let you in 1676 00:59:42,393 --> 00:59:43,992 dressed like a thug. 1677 00:59:43,993 --> 00:59:46,193 What thug drives a bus? 1678 00:59:46,194 --> 00:59:47,894 Besides, where am I gonna find a suit? 1679 00:59:53,228 --> 00:59:55,360 Man, Ralph, you're looking real temptation-like 1680 00:59:55,361 --> 00:59:57,028 in that suit. 1681 00:59:57,029 --> 00:59:58,794 I know you ain't trying to jone 1682 00:59:58,795 --> 00:59:59,999 looking like the last blues brother. 1683 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:00,196 Looking like the last blues brother. 1684 01:00:00,197 --> 01:00:02,029 Man, you look great. Like a plucked sunflower. 1685 01:00:02,030 --> 01:00:03,262 Girls love flowers, man. 1686 01:00:03,263 --> 01:00:05,895 Oh, wow, I love all your stuff. 1687 01:00:05,896 --> 01:00:07,296 I really, really do. 1688 01:00:07,297 --> 01:00:09,263 What stuff is she talking about, Ralph? 1689 01:00:09,264 --> 01:00:10,263 I have no idea. 1690 01:00:10,264 --> 01:00:11,896 You guys are great. 1691 01:00:11,897 --> 01:00:13,130 Looking forward to it. 1692 01:00:13,131 --> 01:00:14,430 What is going on here? 1693 01:00:14,431 --> 01:00:16,298 They must know we own iggy. 1694 01:00:16,299 --> 01:00:18,331 I'm telling you, that dog's a winner, Ralph. 1695 01:00:18,332 --> 01:00:20,399 Well-- hey, let's find Kirby. Right, right, right. 1696 01:00:21,432 --> 01:00:23,133 You kill me! 1697 01:00:24,866 --> 01:00:27,465 Hey, Mr. Kirby. How are you? 1698 01:00:27,466 --> 01:00:29,999 Well, I'm fine. I'm fine, Mr. kramden. 1699 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:30,267 Well, I'm fine. I'm fine, Mr. kramden. 1700 01:00:30,268 --> 01:00:32,166 That is quite a suit. 1701 01:00:32,167 --> 01:00:34,233 You dig that suit, huh? 1702 01:00:34,234 --> 01:00:37,167 It would suit you, but I'm out of the banana. I got pumpkin. 1703 01:00:37,168 --> 01:00:39,034 Pumpkin? You didn't say nothing about no pumpkin. 1704 01:00:39,035 --> 01:00:40,835 Mr. Kirby, I've got the paperwork 1705 01:00:40,836 --> 01:00:43,035 for iggy to be in the race tomorrow. 1706 01:00:43,036 --> 01:00:45,168 Iggy won't be in the race. He's been scratched. 1707 01:00:45,169 --> 01:00:46,836 Scratched? What do you mean, scratched?! 1708 01:00:46,837 --> 01:00:48,368 Scratched? Man, what the--? 1709 01:00:48,369 --> 01:00:50,169 I bribed the top people! I went through procedure 1710 01:00:50,170 --> 01:00:51,902 to get this through. Come on. 1711 01:00:51,903 --> 01:00:54,036 I'll be perfectly honest with you. 1712 01:00:54,037 --> 01:00:55,903 You see, my new friend over there 1713 01:00:55,904 --> 01:00:58,003 has just paid a good amount of cash 1714 01:00:58,004 --> 01:00:59,999 to keep your dog out of the race. 1715 01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:00,038 To keep your dog out of the race. 1716 01:01:00,039 --> 01:01:01,270 Here we go. 1717 01:01:01,271 --> 01:01:02,804 Wait a minute, who is this guy? 1718 01:01:02,805 --> 01:01:04,671 William Davis. 1719 01:01:04,672 --> 01:01:06,271 I don't believe we've had the pleasure. 1720 01:01:06,272 --> 01:01:07,905 No, we haven't had the pleasure. 1721 01:01:07,906 --> 01:01:09,306 'Cause if we had been pleasured, 1722 01:01:09,307 --> 01:01:11,673 I think we'd have knowed about it. 1723 01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:14,339 Shh. Better if you don't talk, man. 1724 01:01:14,340 --> 01:01:15,807 Davis. 1725 01:01:16,874 --> 01:01:18,040 "Davis properties" Davis? 1726 01:01:18,041 --> 01:01:19,774 That's right. 1727 01:01:19,775 --> 01:01:21,640 That's the one trixie was talking about. 1728 01:01:21,641 --> 01:01:23,275 And you are...? 1729 01:01:25,842 --> 01:01:28,042 Ralph kramden. 1730 01:01:28,043 --> 01:01:29,641 Oh, yes. 1731 01:01:29,642 --> 01:01:30,000 Well, it's just business. 1732 01:01:30,001 --> 01:01:31,708 Well, it's just business. 1733 01:01:31,709 --> 01:01:33,276 Nothing personal. 1734 01:01:35,910 --> 01:01:37,176 How's it just pers--? 1735 01:01:37,177 --> 01:01:39,009 It's just business? 1736 01:01:39,010 --> 01:01:40,877 And since our business is over, 1737 01:01:40,878 --> 01:01:42,743 why don't you stay, enjoy the buffet, 1738 01:01:42,744 --> 01:01:44,077 and buy yourselves some drinks. 1739 01:01:44,078 --> 01:01:45,877 You raw, man. Come on, Mr. Kirby. 1740 01:01:45,878 --> 01:01:47,744 - Boss, it's me. - Boss, talk to me, baby! 1741 01:01:47,745 --> 01:01:49,811 That was a police move, man. 1742 01:01:49,812 --> 01:01:51,645 Let it go, let it go. 1743 01:01:51,646 --> 01:01:53,245 "Let it go"? Just let it go. 1744 01:01:53,246 --> 01:01:54,912 I'm here looking like a rubber ducky 1745 01:01:54,913 --> 01:01:56,179 and you're talking about letting it go? 1746 01:01:56,180 --> 01:01:58,313 Come on, let's have a little free punch. 1747 01:01:58,314 --> 01:01:59,613 It's on me. 1748 01:01:59,614 --> 01:02:00,000 Lighten things up a little bit, 1749 01:02:00,001 --> 01:02:01,246 lighten things up a little bit, 1750 01:02:01,247 --> 01:02:02,713 'cause I've been thinking and thinking, 1751 01:02:02,714 --> 01:02:04,081 and it doesn't look good. 1752 01:02:05,281 --> 01:02:07,180 And it doesn't smell good. 1753 01:02:07,181 --> 01:02:09,781 Those shrimps got me with the bubble-guts. 1754 01:02:09,782 --> 01:02:11,148 Look, Ralph. Ralph. 1755 01:02:11,149 --> 01:02:13,248 You can't be hating on Kirby, man. You can't. 1756 01:02:13,249 --> 01:02:15,248 He's a self-made businessman, just like you and me. 1757 01:02:15,249 --> 01:02:17,049 He started out with $5000, 1758 01:02:17,050 --> 01:02:19,015 and now he's 2 or 3 million dollars in debt. 1759 01:02:19,016 --> 01:02:20,816 You gotta admire that. I ain't got no taste, 1760 01:02:20,817 --> 01:02:22,749 but I gotta admire that, you know? 1761 01:02:22,750 --> 01:02:24,116 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ralph, 1762 01:02:24,117 --> 01:02:25,750 but sometimes the world is cold like that. 1763 01:02:25,751 --> 01:02:26,983 It is about money sometimes. 1764 01:02:26,984 --> 01:02:29,184 Yeah, it's about money. Pssh. 1765 01:02:29,185 --> 01:02:29,999 Look at Kirby. He thought for one second 1766 01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:32,017 look at Kirby. He thought for one second 1767 01:02:32,018 --> 01:02:33,852 he can get paid with iggy, 1768 01:02:33,853 --> 01:02:35,685 we wouldn't even be in this situation. 1769 01:02:35,686 --> 01:02:38,652 I have been looking everywhere for you two. 1770 01:02:38,653 --> 01:02:40,219 Come on. What's going on? 1771 01:02:40,220 --> 01:02:41,752 We're late, come on. 1772 01:02:41,753 --> 01:02:43,353 Late for what? Who do you think we are? 1773 01:02:43,354 --> 01:02:45,186 Come on, Chang, everyone knows your yellow suit. 1774 01:02:45,187 --> 01:02:47,119 Chang? 1775 01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:48,753 I'm excited to finally meet you. 1776 01:02:48,754 --> 01:02:50,287 How many times I told you not to call this number, huh? 1777 01:02:50,288 --> 01:02:52,321 Yeah. Why? Why you gonna call the cops? 1778 01:02:52,322 --> 01:02:53,754 Why you gonna call the cops? I was gonna be there. 1779 01:02:53,755 --> 01:02:55,021 I'll give you the money on Friday. 1780 01:02:55,022 --> 01:02:56,288 Mom! Mom! 1781 01:02:56,289 --> 01:02:58,921 You were supposed to start five minutes ago. 1782 01:02:58,922 --> 01:02:59,999 Get up there. 1783 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:00,256 Get up there. 1784 01:03:00,257 --> 01:03:02,156 Huh? What the--? 1785 01:03:02,157 --> 01:03:03,822 Now remember, you're getting paid per set. 1786 01:03:03,823 --> 01:03:06,156 Okay, go on. 1787 01:03:06,157 --> 01:03:09,023 Well, she said we was getting paid. 1788 01:03:09,024 --> 01:03:10,124 Go on ahead. 1789 01:03:18,892 --> 01:03:19,924 Hey. 1790 01:03:19,925 --> 01:03:21,258 Huh? 1791 01:03:21,259 --> 01:03:22,692 I have an idea. 1792 01:03:22,693 --> 01:03:23,758 What kind of idea? 1793 01:03:23,759 --> 01:03:25,626 Just follow my lead. 1794 01:03:25,627 --> 01:03:27,559 It's gonna be great. 1795 01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:29,061 Test. Testing. 1796 01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:32,093 Oh, yeah, this is great. This is great. 1797 01:03:32,094 --> 01:03:33,293 One, two, three. 1798 01:03:33,294 --> 01:03:35,094 Oh, yeah. Everybody follow me. 1799 01:03:35,095 --> 01:03:36,827 How are you, my man? Good seeing you. 1800 01:03:36,828 --> 01:03:38,294 This is some party, don't you think? 1801 01:03:38,295 --> 01:03:41,094 Beautiful people here, uh, this evening. 1802 01:03:41,095 --> 01:03:43,195 Hey, listen... 1803 01:03:43,196 --> 01:03:45,195 How many dreamers, by a show of hands, do we have? 1804 01:03:45,196 --> 01:03:47,763 Where are the dreamers? All the dreamers? 1805 01:03:49,164 --> 01:03:50,729 All around there, there's dreamers. 1806 01:03:50,730 --> 01:03:51,996 I'm a dreamer. 1807 01:03:51,997 --> 01:03:53,531 Hey, the dog. 1808 01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,731 Get the dog. 1809 01:03:59,665 --> 01:04:00,000 Right, I got it. I got it, baby. 1810 01:04:00,001 --> 01:04:01,031 Right, I got it. I got it, baby. 1811 01:04:01,032 --> 01:04:02,231 Get the dog. 1812 01:04:02,232 --> 01:04:04,731 I got this one. Yeah, I... 1813 01:04:04,732 --> 01:04:06,098 You almost got me. 1814 01:04:06,099 --> 01:04:08,732 Well, I, too, am a dreamer. 1815 01:04:08,733 --> 01:04:11,166 And I had a dream that my dog would race 1816 01:04:11,167 --> 01:04:13,499 on this beautiful track tomorrow afternoon. 1817 01:04:13,500 --> 01:04:15,033 But that dream just won't happen 1818 01:04:15,034 --> 01:04:16,666 because our dog has been scratched 1819 01:04:16,667 --> 01:04:18,635 due to financial technicalities. 1820 01:04:40,037 --> 01:04:42,872 Eddie "left hand" Norton, everybody! Wow! 1821 01:04:45,505 --> 01:04:47,671 What a surprise that is, 1822 01:04:47,672 --> 01:04:49,038 and you don't know the half of it. 1823 01:04:49,039 --> 01:04:50,938 But Eddie's beautiful music 1824 01:04:50,939 --> 01:04:54,640 only underscores the fact that my dog has been scratched. 1825 01:04:56,241 --> 01:04:58,873 Scratched on paper, but not scratched in spirit. 1826 01:04:58,874 --> 01:04:59,999 Yeah. 1827 01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:00,107 Yeah. 1828 01:05:00,108 --> 01:05:02,607 And then, uh-- And this man, dodge. 1829 01:05:02,608 --> 01:05:03,840 This is dodge, our trainer, 1830 01:05:03,841 --> 01:05:05,474 and, uh... come on. 1831 01:05:05,475 --> 01:05:08,708 This is dodge and our dog, iggy. 1832 01:05:08,709 --> 01:05:12,008 And I know to look at him, sure, he looks a little mangy, 1833 01:05:12,009 --> 01:05:14,709 and sickly looking and in need of a bath, 1834 01:05:14,710 --> 01:05:15,643 but I tell you... 1835 01:05:16,910 --> 01:05:18,876 Iggy's a special dog. 1836 01:05:18,877 --> 01:05:21,710 You know, we found iggy in a dumpster. 1837 01:05:21,711 --> 01:05:22,810 Damn near dead. 1838 01:05:22,811 --> 01:05:24,743 Hadn't eaten in days, 1839 01:05:24,744 --> 01:05:27,878 but like most underdogs, iggy's a survivor. 1840 01:05:27,879 --> 01:05:29,999 Like seabiscuit, rocky, destiny's child. 1841 01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:30,811 Like seabiscuit, rocky, destiny's child. 1842 01:05:30,812 --> 01:05:32,478 All survivors. 1843 01:05:32,479 --> 01:05:34,712 You know, I guess I'm just saying this to say that. 1844 01:05:34,713 --> 01:05:36,411 Mr. Kirby, I don't know why 1845 01:05:36,412 --> 01:05:38,112 you're not letting our dog race tomorrow, 1846 01:05:38,113 --> 01:05:41,079 but he's already a winner in my book. 1847 01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:43,512 And I'll put money on my dumpster dog 1848 01:05:43,513 --> 01:05:44,814 any day of the week! 1849 01:05:45,814 --> 01:05:46,814 Any day, Ralph! 1850 01:05:46,815 --> 01:05:47,814 So would I! 1851 01:05:47,815 --> 01:05:49,148 Me too! 1852 01:05:51,048 --> 01:05:53,715 You're not buying any of this crap, are you? 1853 01:05:53,716 --> 01:05:56,182 A homeless dumpster dog? You're kidding. 1854 01:05:56,183 --> 01:05:58,148 People are gonna be falling all over themselves 1855 01:05:58,149 --> 01:05:59,582 betting on him. 1856 01:05:59,583 --> 01:06:00,000 Mr. Davis, I'm sorry. 1857 01:06:00,001 --> 01:06:01,515 Mr. Davis, I'm sorry. 1858 01:06:01,516 --> 01:06:03,049 If that dog wins, I'm screwed. 1859 01:06:03,050 --> 01:06:04,983 That dog will never win. 1860 01:06:04,984 --> 01:06:06,717 You'll see for yourself. 1861 01:06:06,718 --> 01:06:07,718 Mr. kramden! 1862 01:06:08,718 --> 01:06:11,084 Iggy, he's in! 1863 01:06:11,085 --> 01:06:12,051 Yes! He's in! 1864 01:06:16,485 --> 01:06:18,885 Bet on iggy! Iggy! 1865 01:06:18,886 --> 01:06:21,385 Excuse me. Excuse me. What's going on here? 1866 01:06:21,386 --> 01:06:24,886 Who are they? It's my piano. 1867 01:06:24,887 --> 01:06:28,988 Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! 1868 01:06:37,889 --> 01:06:39,688 Ralph, if you think you can just waltz in here 1869 01:06:39,689 --> 01:06:41,022 and everything's gonna be fine, 1870 01:06:41,023 --> 01:06:42,089 you have another-- 1871 01:06:42,090 --> 01:06:45,055 Oh. It's you guys. 1872 01:06:45,056 --> 01:06:46,457 And that dog. 1873 01:06:47,824 --> 01:06:48,823 What's going on? 1874 01:06:48,824 --> 01:06:51,490 Ed's got quite a story. 1875 01:06:51,491 --> 01:06:53,358 He wants you to hear it. 1876 01:07:13,761 --> 01:07:15,560 Hey, he won't be up there. 1877 01:07:15,561 --> 01:07:16,793 Who? 1878 01:07:16,794 --> 01:07:18,927 Dodge. That's who you're looking for, right? 1879 01:07:18,928 --> 01:07:21,394 Oh, sure, exactly, dodge, yeah. 1880 01:07:21,395 --> 01:07:23,928 - Oh, there he is. - Hey, dodge. Dodge! 1881 01:07:23,929 --> 01:07:26,028 Hey! Hey, guys! What's up? How you doing? 1882 01:07:26,029 --> 01:07:27,629 You probably thought 1883 01:07:27,630 --> 01:07:29,495 that I was stealing his wallet, right? 1884 01:07:29,496 --> 01:07:29,999 Well, no. We're friends. We do it all the time. 1885 01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:31,862 Well, no. We're friends. We do it all the time. 1886 01:07:31,863 --> 01:07:32,896 Lonnie, Lonnie! 1887 01:07:32,897 --> 01:07:34,496 Hey, tag, you're it, man! 1888 01:07:34,497 --> 01:07:36,496 See you at the barbecue next weekend! 1889 01:07:36,497 --> 01:07:38,464 Damn! Look at you fellas, man! 1890 01:07:38,465 --> 01:07:40,998 You look mackin', packin', black-a-doscious. 1891 01:07:40,999 --> 01:07:42,631 Your first race. 1892 01:07:42,632 --> 01:07:44,797 You know, if iggy wins that first heat, man, 1893 01:07:44,798 --> 01:07:47,064 we're gonna go for the real money in the second race. 1894 01:07:47,065 --> 01:07:48,431 Now, go up. I'm gonna take iggy. 1895 01:07:48,432 --> 01:07:49,732 Go to the owners' booth. 1896 01:07:49,733 --> 01:07:51,032 Go up into the box up there. 1897 01:07:51,033 --> 01:07:52,699 Enjoy yourselves. Don't be nervous. 1898 01:07:52,700 --> 01:07:54,633 Popcorn! 1899 01:07:54,634 --> 01:07:58,600 Get your popcorn here! Hey, popcorn! 1900 01:07:58,601 --> 01:07:59,999 What are you looking for? 1901 01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:00,600 What are you looking for? 1902 01:08:00,601 --> 01:08:01,767 I'm just... 1903 01:08:01,768 --> 01:08:03,901 Where is that popcorn man? 1904 01:08:03,902 --> 01:08:06,701 She's not coming, Norton. 1905 01:08:06,702 --> 01:08:08,902 I know you tried. 1906 01:08:08,903 --> 01:08:10,801 You my boy. Yeah. 1907 01:08:10,802 --> 01:08:12,470 Yeah, man. It's okay. 1908 01:08:13,637 --> 01:08:15,369 Should we go down there? 1909 01:08:15,370 --> 01:08:16,903 No, no, trix, I'm not ready yet. 1910 01:08:16,904 --> 01:08:18,702 Are you waiting to see if he wins? 1911 01:08:18,703 --> 01:08:19,603 No! 1912 01:08:19,604 --> 01:08:21,770 I'm waiting to see if he loses. 1913 01:08:21,771 --> 01:08:23,470 I know it'll kill him. 1914 01:08:23,471 --> 01:08:25,437 Ladies and gentlemen, 1915 01:08:25,438 --> 01:08:26,838 it's post time for our qualifying heat. 1916 01:08:26,839 --> 01:08:28,337 All right. Let's go, iggy! 1917 01:08:28,338 --> 01:08:29,271 Do it, baby! 1918 01:08:29,272 --> 01:08:29,999 Go, six! 1919 01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:30,500 Go, six! 1920 01:08:34,006 --> 01:08:35,907 And they're off! 1921 01:08:37,940 --> 01:08:39,774 Go, ig! Go, go, go! 1922 01:08:55,776 --> 01:08:57,009 Do it! Do it! 1923 01:08:57,010 --> 01:08:58,976 Go ahead! 1924 01:09:05,678 --> 01:09:06,478 That's it! 1925 01:09:08,344 --> 01:09:11,244 The results of the qualifying heat, 1926 01:09:11,245 --> 01:09:13,444 in first place, number six, iggy, 1927 01:09:13,445 --> 01:09:15,244 with a time of 31.5. We gonna get that money! 1928 01:09:15,245 --> 01:09:16,778 We're on our way, baby! 1929 01:09:16,779 --> 01:09:18,811 That dog is unbeatable! 1930 01:09:18,812 --> 01:09:20,345 Don't worry about it. 1931 01:09:20,346 --> 01:09:21,879 That was just the first heat. 1932 01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:24,480 The final is a whole different ball game. 1933 01:09:24,481 --> 01:09:26,613 Now, that puts him in the race for the money, right? 1934 01:09:26,614 --> 01:09:27,914 Yeah, yeah. 1935 01:09:27,915 --> 01:09:29,214 Only Ralph. 1936 01:09:29,215 --> 01:09:29,999 Our future depends on a dog race. 1937 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:32,214 Our future depends on a dog race. 1938 01:09:32,215 --> 01:09:34,281 I didn't-- I didn't sleep with her! 1939 01:09:34,282 --> 01:09:36,215 I just loaned her 10k for plastic surgery. 1940 01:09:36,216 --> 01:09:37,814 Now I don't even know what she looks like, all right? 1941 01:09:37,815 --> 01:09:39,615 All right. Peace. 1942 01:09:39,616 --> 01:09:41,949 Yo, fellas, he's as ready as he's ever gonna be now. 1943 01:09:41,950 --> 01:09:44,483 Come on, ig, we've gotta review our strategy, baby. 1944 01:09:44,484 --> 01:09:46,483 Norton, it's a dog. 1945 01:09:46,484 --> 01:09:48,216 Ralph, stop hating! 1946 01:09:48,217 --> 01:09:50,516 I'm trying to get iggy to visualize his success. 1947 01:09:50,517 --> 01:09:53,317 Well, you get him to visualize going back to that dumpster. 1948 01:09:53,318 --> 01:09:54,958 That'll give him something to think about. 1949 01:09:59,819 --> 01:10:00,000 Ahem. Sorry, guys. 1950 01:10:00,001 --> 01:10:01,351 Ahem. Sorry, guys. 1951 01:10:01,352 --> 01:10:02,718 I'm... Nervous. 1952 01:10:02,719 --> 01:10:04,486 Iggy's got this one in the bag, Ralph. 1953 01:10:04,487 --> 01:10:05,952 I don't know, fellas. 1954 01:10:05,953 --> 01:10:07,853 This race is a lot tougher than you guys think. 1955 01:10:07,854 --> 01:10:09,753 Aw, man, there you go hating. 1956 01:10:09,754 --> 01:10:13,354 Iggy is gonna-- Them other dogs ain't-- damn! 1957 01:10:15,221 --> 01:10:17,520 That ain't a damn dog, that's a horse! 1958 01:10:17,521 --> 01:10:20,388 Welcome to the big time, fellas. Welcome to the big time. 1959 01:10:20,389 --> 01:10:21,488 Come on, iggy. 1960 01:10:21,489 --> 01:10:22,721 You win that race, 1961 01:10:22,722 --> 01:10:23,889 you get this. 1962 01:10:28,290 --> 01:10:29,322 What do you think? 1963 01:10:29,323 --> 01:10:29,999 Let's not jinx him. 1964 01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:30,555 Let's not jinx him. 1965 01:10:30,556 --> 01:10:31,889 Let's just see him after the race. 1966 01:10:31,890 --> 01:10:34,323 After they win the money? Let's hope. 1967 01:10:34,324 --> 01:10:36,657 Now, the featured race of the day. 1968 01:10:36,658 --> 01:10:40,658 The New Jersey park stadium anniversary derby 1969 01:10:40,659 --> 01:10:42,724 for a $20,000 prize purse! Go and get it! 1970 01:10:42,725 --> 01:10:44,392 When you hear that bell, run like hell! 1971 01:10:44,393 --> 01:10:46,425 Go get 'em, iggy! 1972 01:10:46,426 --> 01:10:48,359 Come on, do everything I taught you. Come on. 1973 01:10:59,428 --> 01:10:59,999 And they're off. 1974 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:00,895 And they're off. 1975 01:11:03,795 --> 01:11:05,663 Go, iggy! 1976 01:11:06,663 --> 01:11:07,829 Go, ig! 1977 01:11:10,263 --> 01:11:11,829 Come on, iggy! You can do it, iggy! 1978 01:11:15,497 --> 01:11:16,737 Come on, iggy! Get out of there! 1979 01:11:23,332 --> 01:11:26,564 Oh, man. He's in trouble! He's boxed in! 1980 01:11:26,565 --> 01:11:28,332 Run, iggy! Run! 1981 01:11:31,133 --> 01:11:32,699 Maybe he needs his good-luck charm. 1982 01:11:32,700 --> 01:11:35,233 Come on, ig! Win this race and it's yours! 1983 01:11:44,701 --> 01:11:45,733 Oh, no! 1984 01:11:45,734 --> 01:11:47,301 Norton! 1985 01:11:47,302 --> 01:11:48,769 No! 1986 01:11:50,435 --> 01:11:51,469 Ha! 1987 01:11:56,670 --> 01:11:59,770 At the finish line, it's bahama mama, 1988 01:11:59,771 --> 01:12:00,000 Henry v, and pavlov's dog takes third. 1989 01:12:00,001 --> 01:12:03,703 Henry v, and pavlov's dog takes third. 1990 01:12:03,704 --> 01:12:04,870 All owners, 1991 01:12:04,871 --> 01:12:06,470 please proceed to the clubhouse 1992 01:12:06,471 --> 01:12:10,638 for the presentation of the $20,000 purse. 1993 01:12:15,472 --> 01:12:17,838 What were you thinking, distracting him like that? 1994 01:12:17,839 --> 01:12:19,639 I was just trying to encourage him, Ralph. 1995 01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:21,272 You encouraged him, all right. 1996 01:12:21,273 --> 01:12:24,073 You encouraged him away from $20,000! 1997 01:12:24,074 --> 01:12:25,473 Ralph, stop yelling at me. 1998 01:12:25,474 --> 01:12:27,307 He's gonna think you're yelling at him. 1999 01:12:27,308 --> 01:12:28,774 I'm not yelling at the dog. He's just a dumb animal! 2000 01:12:28,775 --> 01:12:29,999 What's your excuse? 2001 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:30,342 What's your excuse? 2002 01:12:30,343 --> 01:12:32,474 Ralph... 2003 01:12:32,475 --> 01:12:33,541 Ed, you know 2004 01:12:33,542 --> 01:12:34,841 we needed this money. 2005 01:12:34,842 --> 01:12:36,142 Now Alice will never take me back 2006 01:12:36,143 --> 01:12:38,208 because of you! 2007 01:12:38,209 --> 01:12:39,409 Ralph, calm down. 2008 01:12:39,410 --> 01:12:41,108 I thought we were boys, man. 2009 01:12:41,109 --> 01:12:42,242 No, no, we're not boys. 2010 01:12:42,243 --> 01:12:43,575 We're not friends. 2011 01:12:43,576 --> 01:12:45,776 We're not nothing! I'm done! 2012 01:12:45,777 --> 01:12:48,276 That's the way you feel? 2013 01:12:48,277 --> 01:12:49,476 Yeah, it's how I feel. 2014 01:12:49,477 --> 01:12:50,778 And stay out of my fire escape! 2015 01:12:52,211 --> 01:12:53,711 Come on, iggy. 2016 01:12:53,712 --> 01:12:56,112 Come on, y'all. 2017 01:12:59,346 --> 01:12:59,999 Alice... 2018 01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:00,500 Alice... 2019 01:13:41,485 --> 01:13:42,618 Pet cactus. 2020 01:13:42,619 --> 01:13:44,152 What was I thinking? 2021 01:13:44,153 --> 01:13:45,353 Shoot. 2022 01:13:48,486 --> 01:13:50,286 Yeah, yeah. 2023 01:13:50,287 --> 01:13:53,354 Heh. Learn and succeed. Yeah, right. 2024 01:13:57,587 --> 01:13:59,999 Bart Roberts. 2025 01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:00,355 Bart Roberts. 2026 01:14:00,356 --> 01:14:04,188 I was a sucker for ever believing in you. 2027 01:14:04,189 --> 01:14:06,489 I won't be a sucker again, though. 2028 01:14:10,324 --> 01:14:11,755 "Kawakami." 2029 01:14:11,756 --> 01:14:14,122 I should have let you get this train 2030 01:14:14,123 --> 01:14:16,324 since you wanted it so bad. 2031 01:14:19,625 --> 01:14:21,491 Maybe you still do. 2032 01:14:25,758 --> 01:14:27,459 Ow! Ow. 2033 01:14:28,526 --> 01:14:29,999 Don't burn up. Come on, don't burn up on me. 2034 01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:31,720 Don't burn up. Come on, don't burn up on me. 2035 01:14:38,727 --> 01:14:40,593 Mm. Ahem. 2036 01:14:40,594 --> 01:14:41,694 If... 2037 01:14:41,695 --> 01:14:42,561 Okay. 2038 01:14:57,197 --> 01:14:59,129 I might be able to take it off your hands. 2039 01:14:59,130 --> 01:14:59,999 Well, the... the price has gone up considerably. 2040 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:03,530 Well, the... the price has gone up considerably. 2041 01:15:03,531 --> 01:15:05,464 I mean, we have to take into account my time, 2042 01:15:05,465 --> 01:15:06,930 storage, um... 2043 01:15:06,931 --> 01:15:09,664 Fees, shipping, postage, handling. 2044 01:15:09,665 --> 01:15:11,332 You know, a lot of things like that. 2045 01:15:11,333 --> 01:15:13,199 What is your price? 2046 01:15:20,067 --> 01:15:21,199 Twenty-five thousand. 2047 01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:22,399 Twenty-five thousand? 2048 01:15:22,400 --> 01:15:24,133 Okay, that was too much. 2049 01:15:24,134 --> 01:15:26,233 Okay, $20,000. 2050 01:15:26,234 --> 01:15:29,169 Twenty thousand will be fine. 2051 01:15:31,702 --> 01:15:33,602 I'm gonna need a check right now. 2052 01:15:47,604 --> 01:15:49,004 Hey, Larry! 2053 01:15:49,005 --> 01:15:50,603 Ralph kramden. What's going on? 2054 01:15:50,604 --> 01:15:52,237 What, are you in trouble? 2055 01:15:52,238 --> 01:15:55,471 Look, I gotta get to q's diner by 9 A.M. 2056 01:15:55,472 --> 01:15:57,638 You go that way, right? Not by 9 A.M. 2057 01:15:57,639 --> 01:15:59,999 I mean, look at it, it's like total gridlock. 2058 01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:01,760 I mean, look at it, it's like total gridlock. 2059 01:16:02,940 --> 01:16:04,139 Hello, hello, hello. 2060 01:16:04,140 --> 01:16:06,306 Hey, q, it's Ralph kramden. 2061 01:16:06,307 --> 01:16:07,974 Alice's husband. Is she--? 2062 01:16:07,975 --> 01:16:09,306 Oh, no, no, she's not here. 2063 01:16:09,307 --> 01:16:10,974 I got the check for the house! 2064 01:16:10,975 --> 01:16:12,574 Please, the health inspector here. 2065 01:16:12,575 --> 01:16:13,907 Health inspector? 2066 01:16:13,908 --> 01:16:15,607 Don't hang up, you--! 2067 01:16:15,608 --> 01:16:18,175 I gotta get over there! 2068 01:16:18,176 --> 01:16:20,308 Welcome to your new positions 2069 01:16:20,309 --> 01:16:22,175 in the New York City sewer system! 2070 01:16:22,176 --> 01:16:24,409 Today, you will join an elite group 2071 01:16:24,410 --> 01:16:26,543 of dedicated and dependable professionals. 2072 01:16:26,544 --> 01:16:29,943 You lucky few have survived a rigorous application process, 2073 01:16:29,944 --> 01:16:30,000 interviews and psychological profiles. 2074 01:16:30,001 --> 01:16:33,143 Interviews and psychological profiles. 2075 01:16:33,144 --> 01:16:34,477 Actually, ed, 2076 01:16:34,478 --> 01:16:37,044 these are all convicted felons of violent crimes 2077 01:16:37,045 --> 01:16:40,211 taking part in a work-release program. 2078 01:16:40,212 --> 01:16:42,045 And since there are no questions-- 2079 01:16:42,046 --> 01:16:44,579 I got one for you. 2080 01:16:47,447 --> 01:16:49,980 Two men are born five blocks apart. 2081 01:16:49,981 --> 01:16:52,080 They've been best friends for 30 years 2082 01:16:52,081 --> 01:16:55,246 until one of them says some really stupid things 2083 01:16:55,247 --> 01:16:57,314 he didn't mean. 2084 01:16:57,315 --> 01:16:59,448 How does he get the other guy to forgive him? 2085 01:16:59,449 --> 01:16:59,999 I'm not the one who's good at riddles, remember, Ralph? 2086 01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:01,614 I'm not the one who's good at riddles, remember, Ralph? 2087 01:17:01,615 --> 01:17:03,481 Neither am I. 2088 01:17:03,482 --> 01:17:05,016 What are you talking about? 2089 01:17:07,616 --> 01:17:10,950 You know that book of riddles you keep on your coffee table? 2090 01:17:12,351 --> 01:17:16,050 I found it, got me a copy and memorized it. 2091 01:17:16,051 --> 01:17:18,051 You mean to tell me-- 2092 01:17:19,518 --> 01:17:21,418 Look... Norton. 2093 01:17:22,585 --> 01:17:24,218 Norton. 2094 01:17:24,219 --> 01:17:25,918 Come on. Norton. 2095 01:17:25,919 --> 01:17:27,385 What, Ralph? What? What? 2096 01:17:27,386 --> 01:17:29,999 You've always thought I was the smart one. 2097 01:17:30,000 --> 01:17:30,053 You've always thought I was the smart one. 2098 01:17:30,054 --> 01:17:32,586 And if you ever stopped thinking that, 2099 01:17:32,587 --> 01:17:35,921 then I don't know what I would be anymore. 2100 01:17:39,321 --> 01:17:41,187 You really mean that, Ralph? 2101 01:17:41,188 --> 01:17:43,954 Yeah. 2102 01:17:43,955 --> 01:17:45,189 I'm sorry. 2103 01:17:47,189 --> 01:17:48,955 Hey, come on, ed. 2104 01:17:48,956 --> 01:17:50,888 You make me cry. Don't start, man. 2105 01:17:50,889 --> 01:17:52,822 Why you come down here and make me cry 2106 01:17:52,823 --> 01:17:54,456 in front of all these convicts like this? 2107 01:17:54,457 --> 01:17:55,889 Stop it, man. 2108 01:17:55,890 --> 01:17:58,256 I'm trying just to say to you what I gotta say. 2109 01:17:58,257 --> 01:17:59,999 Man-- ahem. Look, all right? Look, man. 2110 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:01,290 Man-- ahem. Look, all right? Look, man. 2111 01:18:01,291 --> 01:18:02,390 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2112 01:18:02,391 --> 01:18:03,924 You know what I'm saying? 2113 01:18:03,925 --> 01:18:04,790 Do I have a tear in my eye? 2114 01:18:04,791 --> 01:18:05,924 No, you okay. 2115 01:18:05,925 --> 01:18:07,558 Look, this doesn't change everything. 2116 01:18:07,559 --> 01:18:09,158 We still have issues between each other. 2117 01:18:09,159 --> 01:18:11,359 Look, okay, I understand that. 2118 01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:12,858 But I got the money for the house. 2119 01:18:12,859 --> 01:18:14,559 You did? 2120 01:18:14,560 --> 01:18:16,993 But I gotta get the check to the diner before 9 A.M., 2121 01:18:16,994 --> 01:18:18,792 and it's total gridlock up there. 2122 01:18:18,793 --> 01:18:21,026 I need someone who knows the city beneath the city. 2123 01:18:21,027 --> 01:18:22,927 I need a specialist. 2124 01:18:22,928 --> 01:18:24,028 I need you, ed. 2125 01:18:26,328 --> 01:18:27,862 I got you. 2126 01:18:28,962 --> 01:18:29,999 But I have conditions. 2127 01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:30,961 But I have conditions. 2128 01:18:30,962 --> 01:18:32,362 Condition number one: 2129 01:18:32,363 --> 01:18:34,261 You gotta start letting me pick stuff. 2130 01:18:34,262 --> 01:18:35,929 What are you talking about? 2131 01:18:35,930 --> 01:18:37,329 You always get to pick the restaurants. 2132 01:18:37,330 --> 01:18:39,196 You always get to pick the movies. 2133 01:18:39,197 --> 01:18:40,529 That's because if we let you pick stuff, 2134 01:18:40,530 --> 01:18:42,064 nothing would ever get decided. 2135 01:18:49,065 --> 01:18:51,065 Fine! You can pick stuff! 2136 01:18:53,766 --> 01:18:54,465 Second up. 2137 01:18:54,466 --> 01:18:56,298 When we get around new people, 2138 01:18:56,299 --> 01:18:58,019 you have to start referring to me as Edward. 2139 01:19:00,734 --> 01:19:03,366 Only you would pick a shortcut like this. 2140 01:19:03,367 --> 01:19:04,766 That's another one! 2141 01:19:04,767 --> 01:19:06,100 You gotta stop making fun of me! 2142 01:19:06,101 --> 01:19:08,166 I'll admit, the way I do things 2143 01:19:08,167 --> 01:19:09,967 is a little unorthodox, 2144 01:19:09,968 --> 01:19:11,201 but that's me. 2145 01:19:11,202 --> 01:19:13,067 The way you do things is ridiculous. 2146 01:19:13,068 --> 01:19:14,868 Oh, I'm the one who looks ridiculous? 2147 01:19:14,869 --> 01:19:15,769 Yeah! 2148 01:19:21,036 --> 01:19:22,469 That ain't even funny. 2149 01:19:22,470 --> 01:19:25,371 Oh, yes, it is. We gotta go. Come on, let's ride. 2150 01:19:28,170 --> 01:19:29,999 Okay, Ralph, this is the big one. 2151 01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:31,104 Okay, Ralph, this is the big one. 2152 01:19:31,105 --> 01:19:32,204 You gotta promise to me 2153 01:19:32,205 --> 01:19:33,937 that you will never yell at me 2154 01:19:33,938 --> 01:19:35,258 or get mad at me ever, ever again. 2155 01:19:35,772 --> 01:19:36,771 Done. 2156 01:19:36,772 --> 01:19:38,138 Put it on your family jewels. 2157 01:19:38,139 --> 01:19:39,804 Put it on my family j-- 2158 01:19:39,805 --> 01:19:42,205 Fine, I put it on my family jewels 2159 01:19:42,206 --> 01:19:46,806 that I will never get mad or holler at you again. 2160 01:19:46,807 --> 01:19:48,106 Good. 'Cause we're lost. 2161 01:19:48,107 --> 01:19:49,141 You--! 2162 01:19:50,841 --> 01:19:51,973 Family jewels. 2163 01:19:51,974 --> 01:19:55,041 So... Edward... 2164 01:19:55,042 --> 01:19:56,374 Mm-hm? 2165 01:19:56,375 --> 01:19:59,008 How do you suggest we proceed from here? 2166 01:19:59,009 --> 01:19:59,999 Well, there's two ways we can go. 2167 01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:00,476 Well, there's two ways we can go. 2168 01:20:00,477 --> 01:20:01,597 Either that way or that way. 2169 01:20:03,342 --> 01:20:05,042 Why don't we let you pick. 2170 01:20:05,043 --> 01:20:06,376 Let me pick? That's my man. 2171 01:20:06,377 --> 01:20:08,143 That's what I'm talking about. 2172 01:20:09,044 --> 01:20:10,177 Which way? 2173 01:20:11,311 --> 01:20:12,877 That way. 2174 01:20:16,978 --> 01:20:18,678 It's this way, Ralph! 2175 01:20:21,178 --> 01:20:22,778 This should be it. Straight up. 2176 01:20:22,779 --> 01:20:23,412 Let's hope. 2177 01:20:28,179 --> 01:20:29,999 Ha, ha, ha! Hey, Norton, this is it! 2178 01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:30,879 Ha, ha, ha! Hey, Norton, this is it! 2179 01:20:30,880 --> 01:20:32,747 You my man, dog! 2180 01:20:35,414 --> 01:20:36,414 Aah! Whoa! 2181 01:20:48,082 --> 01:20:49,382 Ralph, what are you waiting for? 2182 01:20:49,383 --> 01:20:52,049 There's a SUV on the manhole cover! 2183 01:20:52,050 --> 01:20:53,316 You're yelling, Ralph. 2184 01:20:53,317 --> 01:20:56,783 This way is blocked, and it's Davis. 2185 01:20:56,784 --> 01:20:58,917 Okay, another manhole two blocks down. 2186 01:21:00,151 --> 01:21:01,183 Watch it! 2187 01:21:01,184 --> 01:21:02,717 You think we're too late? 2188 01:21:02,718 --> 01:21:04,152 Not if she hasn't signed yet! 2189 01:21:07,019 --> 01:21:08,252 You don't have to read it. 2190 01:21:10,986 --> 01:21:12,386 Oh, glad you two made up. 2191 01:21:12,387 --> 01:21:14,386 But Alice isn't here, Ralph. 2192 01:21:14,387 --> 01:21:16,286 She didn't want to stick around and watch that. 2193 01:21:17,854 --> 01:21:19,887 Ma'am, don't sign that! 2194 01:21:21,021 --> 01:21:22,987 That's no good. That's good. 2195 01:21:22,988 --> 01:21:24,154 Miss benvenuti-- 2196 01:21:24,155 --> 01:21:25,653 Oh, no, no, don't put that down! 2197 01:21:25,654 --> 01:21:27,154 You can't stop once you've started. 2198 01:21:27,155 --> 01:21:29,321 It's-- it's unethical. 2199 01:21:29,322 --> 01:21:29,999 I'm Ralph kramden. Alice's husband. And, uh-- 2200 01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:31,222 I'm Ralph kramden. Alice's husband. And, uh-- 2201 01:21:31,223 --> 01:21:33,655 Oh, please. Well, this is-- 2202 01:21:33,656 --> 01:21:34,922 Mr. q? It's a little wet. 2203 01:21:34,923 --> 01:21:36,322 It's dirty. But, uh, 2204 01:21:36,323 --> 01:21:37,889 maybe we can blow-dry it off 2205 01:21:37,890 --> 01:21:39,123 and do whatever. 2206 01:21:39,124 --> 01:21:41,056 But it's for you. 2207 01:21:41,057 --> 01:21:42,858 I'll take the check as-is. 2208 01:21:44,025 --> 01:21:46,624 Okay, everyone just-- 2209 01:21:46,625 --> 01:21:49,025 Look, I'll give you even more, all right? 2210 01:21:49,026 --> 01:21:50,158 Thank you. 2211 01:21:50,159 --> 01:21:51,891 You got it. 2212 01:21:51,892 --> 01:21:53,792 But I don't think so. 2213 01:21:53,793 --> 01:21:55,992 I'd rather have my house remain a home. 2214 01:21:55,993 --> 01:21:57,825 Yeah! 2215 01:21:57,826 --> 01:21:58,892 Thank you, miss benvenuti! 2216 01:21:58,893 --> 01:21:59,999 Thank you! 2217 01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:00,659 Thank you! 2218 01:22:00,660 --> 01:22:02,593 Thank you, Mr. kramden. 2219 01:22:02,594 --> 01:22:04,127 It's a pleasure doing business with you. 2220 01:22:04,128 --> 01:22:05,793 - Oh, no, no. - Thank you. 2221 01:22:05,794 --> 01:22:06,826 You can't do this to me. 2222 01:22:06,827 --> 01:22:08,727 Nobody's doing anything to you. 2223 01:22:08,728 --> 01:22:10,327 This is business. 2224 01:22:10,328 --> 01:22:11,628 It's not personal. 2225 01:22:14,062 --> 01:22:15,262 Ywaah! 2226 01:22:17,163 --> 01:22:19,029 Miss benvenuti, we'll be calling you. 2227 01:22:19,030 --> 01:22:20,263 All right. 2228 01:23:14,805 --> 01:23:16,038 Ralph... 2229 01:23:16,039 --> 01:23:18,772 Just... Give me a second, okay? 2230 01:23:22,105 --> 01:23:25,507 Alice, I've wasted so much time. 2231 01:23:26,707 --> 01:23:28,973 Made so many bad choices. 2232 01:23:28,974 --> 01:23:29,999 But there's only one thing I've ever done right... 2233 01:23:30,000 --> 01:23:34,006 But there's only one thing I've ever done right... 2234 01:23:34,007 --> 01:23:35,174 And that's love you. 2235 01:23:38,908 --> 01:23:40,042 Baby, let's go home. 2236 01:23:43,176 --> 01:23:45,510 You mean, the one we just bought? 2237 01:23:48,510 --> 01:23:49,842 How did you do it? 2238 01:23:49,843 --> 01:23:52,009 Well, Norton helped out a little bit, but... 2239 01:23:52,010 --> 01:23:54,210 No one deserves this more than you, Alice. 2240 01:23:56,111 --> 01:23:58,878 Baby, you're the greatest. 2241 01:24:14,180 --> 01:24:16,579 All right, guys, come on. 2242 01:24:16,580 --> 01:24:18,579 Quit your pissing and moaning. The doghouse is not that heavy. 2243 01:24:18,580 --> 01:24:20,247 And it goes in the back facing east 2244 01:24:20,248 --> 01:24:22,048 so it gets feng shui, you got it? 2245 01:24:22,049 --> 01:24:24,048 And mama Gibson, please don't drop another box. 2246 01:24:24,049 --> 01:24:25,847 I don't got insurance, okay? 2247 01:24:25,848 --> 01:24:27,981 You don't have no manners either, Mr. "eazy" dodge. 2248 01:24:27,982 --> 01:24:29,882 Oh, you're going to get into it with me? 2249 01:24:29,883 --> 01:24:30,000 That's all right. Ladies, please hurry up. 2250 01:24:30,001 --> 01:24:31,449 That's all right. Ladies, please hurry up. 2251 01:24:31,450 --> 01:24:33,182 We're gonna have a lunch break. 2252 01:24:33,183 --> 01:24:35,049 And make this house a home. Amen. 2253 01:24:35,050 --> 01:24:36,116 Amen. 2254 01:24:36,117 --> 01:24:37,816 All right, eat up, everybody. 2255 01:24:37,817 --> 01:24:40,683 - Thank you, sweetheart. - All right, now. 2256 01:24:40,684 --> 01:24:43,950 Y'all, here we are. Finally. 2257 01:24:43,951 --> 01:24:45,551 To our own home. 2258 01:24:45,552 --> 01:24:46,784 Cheers, y'all. 2259 01:24:46,785 --> 01:24:49,651 Cheers! 2260 01:24:49,652 --> 01:24:51,152 Hey, Ralph, Ralph. 2261 01:24:51,153 --> 01:24:52,651 I got a surprise for you. 2262 01:24:52,652 --> 01:24:53,985 Let go. Let go. Let go. 2263 01:24:53,986 --> 01:24:55,752 Good boy. I trained iggy, man. 2264 01:24:55,753 --> 01:24:58,186 He's gonna be your dog servant. Fetch you a beer. 2265 01:24:58,187 --> 01:24:59,999 Get you a newspaper when you want. 2266 01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:00,520 Get you a newspaper when you want. 2267 01:25:00,521 --> 01:25:01,921 Isn't that your train right there? 2268 01:25:03,621 --> 01:25:05,620 Would you look at that? A million dollars! 2269 01:25:05,621 --> 01:25:07,487 Yeah, Ralph, isn't that your train? 2270 01:25:07,488 --> 01:25:09,421 The one with the solid brass trim? 2271 01:25:09,422 --> 01:25:10,188 Shut up. 2272 01:25:10,189 --> 01:25:11,487 What? 2273 01:25:11,488 --> 01:25:13,488 Oh, yo, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 2274 01:25:13,489 --> 01:25:15,922 Uh, Ralph, you gonna watch the game later on? 2275 01:25:15,923 --> 01:25:17,488 Solid brass? 2276 01:25:17,489 --> 01:25:19,589 Ralph, you said you weren't gonna get mad at me no more. 2277 01:25:19,590 --> 01:25:21,689 Nah. No, Norton, 2278 01:25:21,690 --> 01:25:23,090 I'm not gonna get mad. 2279 01:25:23,091 --> 01:25:24,489 No, I'm not gonna yell. 2280 01:25:24,490 --> 01:25:25,756 I'm just gonna kill you! 2281 01:25:25,757 --> 01:25:27,090 Where's he going? 2282 01:25:27,091 --> 01:25:28,724 Get back here and eat dinner! 2283 01:25:28,725 --> 01:25:29,999 Ralph, I know where there's another train! 2284 01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:31,124 Ralph, I know where there's another train! 2285 01:25:31,125 --> 01:25:32,724 And it's got a bell too! 2286 01:25:32,725 --> 01:25:34,191 You better know where there's another train! 2287 01:25:34,192 --> 01:25:35,691 Come on, man. For real, believe me! 2288 01:25:35,692 --> 01:25:37,491 You gonna play it dumb, huh? 2289 01:25:37,492 --> 01:25:39,526 ♪ Shake 'em in a burst be promotin' ♪ 2290 01:25:39,527 --> 01:25:42,159 ♪ nobody tried come fierce, no insultin' ♪ 2291 01:25:42,160 --> 01:25:45,060 ♪ they pull me up twenty-two and I'm a sultan ♪ 2292 01:25:45,061 --> 01:25:47,161 ♪ that I feel so forget enough startin' fool ♪ 2293 01:25:50,095 --> 01:25:51,395 We got the money too. 2294 01:25:52,895 --> 01:25:54,161 ...when he win that money. 2295 01:25:54,162 --> 01:25:55,795 America's youth through book-- 2296 01:25:55,796 --> 01:25:57,128 Book clubs. 2297 01:25:57,129 --> 01:25:59,999 See, ed here is a special child. 2298 01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:01,240 See, ed here is a special child. 2299 01:26:02,897 --> 01:26:05,029 ♪ The guys, they call me the bomb ♪ 2300 01:26:05,030 --> 01:26:06,496 ♪ the dang-dy, dang-dy ♪ 2301 01:26:06,497 --> 01:26:07,897 Hold on! Hold on! Ralph! Ralph! 2302 01:26:07,898 --> 01:26:09,630 Ralph! Ralph! 2303 01:26:09,631 --> 01:26:12,030 ♪ Yeah, with the bomb the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪ 2304 01:26:12,031 --> 01:26:14,030 Ack! 2305 01:26:14,031 --> 01:26:16,031 ♪ My style is the bomb the bomb ♪ 2306 01:26:16,032 --> 01:26:17,597 ♪ the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪ 2307 01:26:17,598 --> 01:26:19,365 Stop rubbin' on his balls. 2308 01:26:19,366 --> 01:26:20,465 Get out of the chair, iggy. 2309 01:26:20,466 --> 01:26:21,832 I got his balls? Oh, man! 2310 01:26:21,833 --> 01:26:23,665 Why didn't you tell me? 2311 01:26:23,666 --> 01:26:25,865 Well, my father used to train neglected chihuahuas 2312 01:26:25,866 --> 01:26:29,733 with down syndrome. And then... 2313 01:26:29,734 --> 01:26:30,000 It's not that he has any kind of mental problem. 2314 01:26:30,001 --> 01:26:31,900 It's not that he has any kind of mental problem. 2315 01:26:31,901 --> 01:26:34,500 He just likes to slobber. 2316 01:26:34,501 --> 01:26:36,134 What do you mean, let it go? 2317 01:26:36,135 --> 01:26:37,600 I'm here lookin' like a birthday balloon. 2318 01:26:37,601 --> 01:26:39,101 You want me to let it go. 2319 01:26:39,102 --> 01:26:40,701 I'm here lookin' like dishwashing liquid. 2320 01:26:40,702 --> 01:26:43,401 Kumquat. Summer squash. A stick of butter. Let it go? 2321 01:26:43,402 --> 01:26:44,835 I'm looking like somebody's crack teeth. 2322 01:26:44,836 --> 01:26:46,702 You look more like a piece of flan. 2323 01:26:46,703 --> 01:26:49,003 Un burrito gordito pero bonito. Venga. Let's go. 2324 01:26:49,004 --> 01:26:50,436 F&%@! You, come here! 2325 01:26:50,437 --> 01:26:52,103 What did you say? 2326 01:26:52,104 --> 01:26:54,103 What's up? What's up? 2327 01:26:54,104 --> 01:26:55,538 ♪ The dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪ 2328 01:26:57,371 --> 01:26:59,999 ♪ here with the bomb the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪ 2329 01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:02,000 ♪ here with the bomb the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪ 2330 01:27:03,939 --> 01:27:05,505 ♪ headfirst shake 'em in a burst ♪ 2331 01:27:05,506 --> 01:27:06,805 ♪ be promotin' ♪ 2332 01:27:06,806 --> 01:27:09,338 ♪ nobody tried come fierce with somethin' ♪ 2333 01:27:09,339 --> 01:27:11,906 ♪ they pull me up twenty-two and I'm somethin' ♪ 2334 01:27:11,907 --> 01:27:14,706 ♪ them say they're my friend and them mine me friend ♪ 2335 01:27:14,707 --> 01:27:17,339 ♪ anytime you're ready, fool anytime start ♪ 2336 01:27:17,340 --> 01:27:19,674 ♪ one or two pinch from my style ♪ 2337 01:27:19,675 --> 01:27:21,407 ♪ my style is the bomb the bomb ♪ 2338 01:27:21,408 --> 01:27:22,842 ♪ the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪ 2339 01:27:24,076 --> 01:27:26,508 ♪ my style is the bomb the bomb ♪ 2340 01:27:26,509 --> 01:27:28,576 ♪ the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪ 2341 01:27:30,010 --> 01:27:32,076 ♪ here with the bomb ♪ 2342 01:27:32,077 --> 01:27:34,343 ♪ the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪ 2343 01:29:23,793 --> 01:29:25,792 I'm Ronald. And I'm Ernie. 2344 01:29:25,793 --> 01:29:28,161 And we're the isley brothers. 2345 01:29:28,162 --> 01:29:29,999 ♪ La-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 2346 01:29:30,000 --> 01:29:30,663 ♪ Ia-la-la la-la-la-la ♪ 2347 01:29:30,664 --> 01:29:31,665 ♪ Oooh, ooooh ♪ 163005