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1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:02,770
Grab a seat with The Cool Kids.
2
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,472
Oh, that's not gonna
be a problem.
3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:05,939
Catch all-new episodes Fridays.
4
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,641
And check out
our other programs--
5
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,177
Last Man Standing and Rel.
6
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,778
Only on Fox.
7
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,218
(grunting)
Ooh.
8
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:24,458
Ooh. (groans)
9
00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,294
(sighs)
10
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,629
How's everybody doing?
11
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,765
(laughs)
What is with that walk?
12
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:33,534
Well, if you must know,
13
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,204
I was salsa dancing
till midnight.
14
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,139
You were salsa dancing?
15
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,108
You get winded salsa eating.
16
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,311
Late night dancing, smiling--
17
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,113
you've been happy for weeks now.
18
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,315
That's very unlike you.
19
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:50,017
Well, I guess I need
to let you all in on something.
20
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,986
I'm dating a younger woman.
Felicia.
21
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,655
(chuckles) She's gorgeous
22
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,056
and full of life.
23
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:59,227
And get this, she's 45. (laughs)
24
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,895
Jailbait, baby!
25
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,664
Damn, you're robbing the cradle.
26
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:06,234
-(laughing)
-Uh, no, whoa, whoa.
27
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,602
My high fives
tend to be unconvincing.
28
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:11,071
I'm better with a "hoo, mama."
29
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:15,343
45-year-old? Hoo, mama!
30
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,578
See?
31
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:20,214
I mean, there's obviously
something wrong with this woman.
32
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:23,584
What, does she need
a green card? A kidney?
33
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:27,054
I'm just trying to figure
what would drive a 45-year-old
34
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,056
to this.
35
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,725
We have a lot in common.
36
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,827
See, we met at this
jazz record store.
37
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:36,930
I went in there to find
a very rare Miles Davis album,
38
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:39,066
on which he calls
his bass player
39
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,101
a particularly outdated slur.
40
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,571
And we hit it off.
41
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:47,608
She's a old soul.
I feel like a teenager again.
42
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,211
Hoo, mama!
43
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:53,581
And she's, what,
terminally ill?
44
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,384
No. The only thing
she's dying from is Hank fever.
45
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,319
And the only cure
for that is more
46
00:01:58,352 --> 00:01:59,987
Hank, Hank, Hank.
47
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,456
Ask your doctor about Hank.
48
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,893
Side effects include delusion,
49
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,962
overconfidence,
and extreme hair loss.
50
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,573
I knew you were gonna do this.
51
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,076
You just jealous
'cause you not cradle robbing.
52
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,446
I'm not jealous. I might be
53
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,448
a-a little annoyed
at the double standard.
54
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,884
I mean, you never see a younger
man with an older woman.
55
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:33,621
Uh, I've actually been
with a much older woman.
56
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,123
Well, not recently.
57
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,327
No, I was 18, she was 65.
58
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,962
She was born in 1899.
59
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,799
Anyway...
60
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,167
she's obviously
out of your league.
61
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,637
I'm just trying to get
to the real truth.
62
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,839
Well, Felicia...
63
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,642
and I have a real connection.
64
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,577
Oh! In fact,
she wants to meet you guys.
65
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,179
So you can judge for yourself
that it is real.
66
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:03,016
FYI, I'm gonna need you all to
lie, tell her I don't live here.
67
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,552
Why? This place rocks.
68
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,988
We got unlimited Froyo.
69
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,857
Well, she's young. She doesn't
want to date somebody
70
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,525
living in
a retirement community.
71
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:15,496
So I told her my home
is under renovation.
72
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,466
(sadly):
Hoo, mama.
73
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,201
Eh, shouldn't she like you
for you? I mean, we'll play...
74
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,504
All right, great,
let's leave it there, then.
75
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,806
I got it-- she's blind.
76
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,709
Margaret, I'm happy.
Just leave it alone.
77
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:32,980
-Fine, I will drop it.
-(grunting)
78
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:37,251
I am not dropping squat.
Something is off, right, guys?
79
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:40,488
I mean, a younger woman
who is suddenly into Hank?
80
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,390
Oh, he's fine.
81
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:45,158
I'm just worried he's gonna
humiliate himself
82
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,060
trying to seem younger.
83
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:48,696
-(phone chimes)
-Ooh!
84
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,899
My wheelie sneakers
just shipped!
85
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,904
*
86
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,793
And then this big hunk of man
87
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,762
just swept me off my feet.
88
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,564
Now, how'd I sweep you
off your feet
89
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,499
when you already
swept me off mine?
90
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:28,369
Answer is my
athletic youthfulness.
91
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:30,270
-(laughs)
-Ow.
92
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,106
Yeah, dancing does keep
the body young.
93
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,608
That's, uh,
what I always say, right?
94
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,877
-Always.
-Always. That's what he says.
95
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,012
I feel like you always say,
"My lower back hurts."
96
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:43,617
You know, it is great to finally
meet all of Hank's friends.
97
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,553
Yep, yep, yep.
98
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:48,188
We're just his buds
from down the street.
99
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,591
It's a normal street
100
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:55,228
with separate houses
and outdoor space between them.
101
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,466
He never brings
his trash cans in.
102
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,434
It's ruining the neighborhood.
103
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:03,036
(laughs)
104
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,138
You guys crack me up,
especially this one.
105
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,040
I just want to put you
in a backpack
106
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,909
-and take you everywhere.
-(laughing)
107
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:12,813
Well, let's not forget
that I'm a human being.
108
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,384
But that sounds like fun.
You're fun.
109
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,486
Isn't she fun?
110
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,287
Almost like it's too good
to be true.
111
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,023
It's almost exactly like
it's too good to be true.
112
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,493
Hey, Hank, did you confirm
our reservation at Morano's?
113
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,327
-Yes, I did.
-Okay.
114
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:31,599
Wow, Morano's. Fancy.
And Hank is taking you there?
115
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:32,866
Mm-hmm.
116
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,334
Did they open up
their dress code
117
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,670
to Crocs and bowling shirts?
118
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:37,871
No.
119
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,474
Did they?
120
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:43,110
You know what?
I am gonna hit up that jukebox.
121
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,979
You got any cash, Hanky poo?
122
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,315
Baby, I got you, baby boo.
123
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,784
(laughs)
There you go, madam.
124
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,820
-Grab a fistful.
-Hey, hey.
125
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:57,825
Sid, I think I know
what's going on.
126
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,528
The 20 for the jukebox,
Morano's--
127
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:03,096
I think maybe "baby boo"
is a gold digger.
128
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,965
I'm gonna go see
what I can find out.
129
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:08,301
(clears throat) I think I'm
gonna go hit the jukebox, too.
130
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,070
See if they have any Mozart.
131
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,974
Hey, there.
132
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,810
Son of a... Sorry,
you scared me. (chuckles)
133
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,345
Oh, nothing to be scared of,
134
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,313
unless I'm catching you
doing something wrong.
135
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:21,849
Am I?
136
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,818
(laughs)
137
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:27,821
So have you, uh, have you ever
dated an older man before?
138
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:31,324
-Older men are kind of my type.
-Interesting.
139
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:35,062
It's a pattern.
You kind of target them.
140
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,931
Yeah, that's not exactly
what I'm saying.
141
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:41,334
Uh, older men know themselves.
142
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,804
They don't play games.
They're more mature.
143
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,405
Really? That guy?
144
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,441
(laughter)
145
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:54,915
Oh, my God, he is so funny
and so nice.
146
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:58,251
Really? We're s-we're still
talking about Hank, right?
147
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:02,222
Oh. Okay. Yeah.
148
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,458
I see why you came over here.
149
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,494
You have feelings for him.
150
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,161
(laughing):
What?
151
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,163
Whoa. Hank? No.
152
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:13,501
Ooh, never. Ew, gross.
153
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:14,735
Yeah, but I thought
that maybe...
154
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,070
Yuck. Gag. Puke.
155
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,340
(shivers)
Nasty.
156
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:23,811
Okay. I'm just gonna
head back to the table now.
157
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:27,781
Hey, Hanky poo, why don't we
hit Morano's early?
158
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,383
It was nice meeting you guys.
159
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:34,054
Margaret, I hope you
find happiness.
160
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,925
You know what,
I've had a few drinks.
161
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,127
-Mm.
-So, let's Uber. Ooh!
162
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,063
Maybe we'll be bad and Uber XL.
163
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,365
-Do they have a Uber XXL?
-(both laugh)
164
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,036
Nice girl.
165
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,404
I don't know why she just wants
Margaret to find happiness,
166
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,440
but, uh, nice girl.
167
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,609
Nice girl? Come on, Charlie.
168
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:58,411
She's taking Hank
to the cleaners.
169
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,413
Margaret thinks that Felicia
170
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,149
is gold digging Hank.
171
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,985
I know she is. You think about
what's going on here, guys.
172
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,988
He's flashing cash at
the record store, the Uber XL.
173
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,758
He bought us a round.
174
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:13,561
Hank has no gold to dig.
175
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,128
Yeah, Sid's right, Margaret.
176
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,998
Most of Hank's wealth
is in baseball cards.
177
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,499
Well, that proves my point.
178
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,501
Rich guys know to look out
for a gold digger.
179
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,638
It's the pathetic schlubs like
Hank that never see it coming.
180
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:27,307
She's gonna fleece him and
move right on to the next guy.
181
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,209
I think she may be
on to something.
182
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,911
I am. Hank is our friend,
183
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,345
and somebody's trying
to take advantage of him,
184
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,814
and we can't let that happen.
185
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,884
I ain't saying
she's a gold digger,
186
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:40,020
but she ain't messing
with no broke...
187
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,555
Well, y'all know the song.
188
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,263
(vocalizing)
189
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,065
All right, here he comes.
190
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,301
We're gonna tell him
the truth about Felicia
191
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,036
and we're gonna do it
together, okay?
192
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,905
-Yeah. Yeah. You got it.
-I got your back, girl.
193
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,707
(scatting)
194
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,312
What happened to the limp,
lover boy?
195
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,681
Well, I stole some
of Larry's muscle relaxers.
196
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,349
That fool is relaxed
enough as it is.
197
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:12,986
(mouthing)
198
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,322
So, uh...
199
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:18,558
what's up with y'all?
200
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,028
We, uh, we all have something
that we want to tell you.
201
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,395
Yeah.
202
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,632
But it's mostly
Margaret's thing.
203
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:28,235
Yeah, you're gonna be
pretty pissed, but...
204
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,038
Tell him, Margaret.
205
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,973
-It's about Felicia.
-Oh!
206
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,574
Speak of the devil.
207
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:37,177
I'm on my way to meet her
at the roller rink.
208
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,913
When's the last time
you went roller skating?
209
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,049
Well, not that long ago.
I guess about, uh...
210
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,051
47 years.
211
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,387
But I'm gonna do it for her.
You know, for the first time,
212
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,590
I'm not even thinking
about my ex-wife.
213
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:53,761
Felicia is just fantastic,
and she's funny, too.
214
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,363
She just makes me feel alive.
215
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:59,599
So, uh, y'all wanted to tell me
something about her?
216
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,902
-She's... We're happy for you.
-She is great. Great gal.
217
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,705
I got to lock this one down.
Well, I'm off to the rink.
218
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:05,706
Okay.
219
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,474
(quietly): Ow.
220
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:11,945
So what if we are wrong
about Felicia?
221
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,782
We could ruin
a really good thing for Hank.
222
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,250
In the small chance
that I am wrong--
223
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:20,253
the small, small, small chance--
224
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,055
we have to get some evidence
before we confront him,
225
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:23,623
and we better do it quick.
226
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,794
I mean, you heard him,
he's gonna lock it down.
227
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,929
I just need five minutes
with her phone.
228
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,732
It'll have bank records
and clues from her past.
229
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,600
I know what I'm doing.
(chuckles)
230
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,136
I worked with
the Watergate burglars.
231
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:39,940
They are famous for literally
nothing besides getting caught.
232
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,541
Yeah.
233
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:44,611
They got caught.
234
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,280
Well, if it's Felicia's phone
that we want,
235
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,751
we know exactly where
it will be: at the roller rink.
236
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,186
Sid, we are not going
to a roller rink
237
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,922
so you can go skating.
238
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:57,290
It is not that, Margaret.
239
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,292
I want to help Hank.
240
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,494
Do you think they'll have
the hokey pokey? Ooh!
241
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,363
I got to go get my wheel wax.
242
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,471
*
243
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,473
(dance music playing)
244
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:16,309
All right. We got Mitch
on the tunes tonight,
245
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,378
so expect a lot of bangers.
246
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,647
Skittle machine's on the right.
247
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,350
Claw machine
is the tightest in Tucson,
248
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:26,553
so don't waste your time.
249
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:30,190
I mean, I've never
been here before, but...
250
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,625
Usual skates, Mr. Delacroix?
251
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,528
Yes, clerk who somehow knows
my name.
252
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,965
(quietly):
Be cool, Terrance.
253
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,100
Sid, we're not gonna skate.
254
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,902
We're here on a mission,
and we can't
255
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,871
let Hank and Felicia see us.
256
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,705
(both giggling)
257
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,340
BOTH:
Ooh!
258
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,442
The secret to black ops
is speed.
259
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,311
We find her purse,
get her phone,
260
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:54,447
I leave a Monopoly token
because that's my calling card,
261
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,750
and then we exit unnoticed.
262
00:11:56,784 --> 00:11:59,152
I just wish we had air support.
263
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,553
Why?
264
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,722
I just wish we did.
265
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:05,558
All right, someone has to keep
an eye out for Hank.
266
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,894
On it.
267
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,966
How did he get those skates on
so fast?
268
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,203
Well, if we had air support,
we'd know.
269
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:20,373
There you go, okay, you got it.
270
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,342
-Here, I'll catch you.
-Oh, you're always trying
271
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,711
to get your hands on me,
aren't you, cutie?
272
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,579
-Whoa! Ooh!
-Oh!
273
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,148
(panting):
I got... I'm okay.
274
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,884
I feel like Kristi Yamaguchi
up in here.
275
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,520
We don't have to do this,
276
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,455
since, you know,
you're not very good at it.
277
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,524
Well, I'm more
of a speed skater,
278
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,292
and that's really not what
this rink is set up for.
279
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:40,861
Ah.
280
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,395
But you go ahead on.
I'm-a catch up to you.
281
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,663
Go, go, go, go, go.
(chuckles)
282
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,498
Go.
283
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,845
Okay, her purse is
in there somewhere.
284
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:01,281
Yeah, I got this.
Follow my lead. (clears throat)
285
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,117
There's a corpse
in the bathroom.
286
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:05,685
MARGARET:
Yeah, uh,
287
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,020
a-a big old corpse.
288
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:10,590
The kids are playing on it.
289
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,961
Maybe a heads-up if you're gonna
take it to "bathroom corpse"
290
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,628
right off the bat?
291
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,731
Heads-up for life. I always take
it to "bathroom corpse"
292
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,433
right off the bat.
293
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:24,137
Let's just find this purse.
294
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,173
I need a size seven.
295
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,646
(quietly):
Seven.
296
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,748
-Aren't you gonna spray them?
-Uh...
297
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,985
Uh, sorry, sweetie,
it's my first day.
298
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,620
I can tell,
'cause you suck at your job.
299
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,655
Oh, really?
300
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:47,827
Ugh!
301
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,930
Move.
302
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:53,833
Who do you think you're talking
to, little missy?
303
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,469
We're about to do
the limbo here.
304
00:13:56,503 --> 00:14:00,273
Well, do it someplace else.
I'm putting in work.
305
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,509
You're old.
306
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:05,245
I have lived a life.
307
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,681
You are gonna marry
your first boyfriend
308
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:12,385
and die within six miles
of this rink, sweet pea.
309
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:22,329
Ugh, this has got to be
the smelliest black op ever.
310
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:25,098
-Charlie, wait.
-What? What?
311
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:27,334
This could be our girl's.
312
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,337
Look, "I Heart Jazz" keychain.
313
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,172
Oh, yeah, it's definitely her.
314
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,507
(chuckles)
Her picture's on the phone here.
315
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,610
I'm gonna try to hack in.
316
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:40,413
One, two,
317
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:43,183
three, four.
318
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,886
Nope. I'm out of ideas.
319
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,889
Well, we're gonna
have to dig deeper.
320
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:52,159
Sid's still on lookout, right?
321
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,395
(cheering, applause)
322
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,901
Okay, Gramps,
you're pretty good.
323
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:06,306
Well, I ought to be. I lived
most of my life on the down-low.
324
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,941
(laughs)
325
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:13,613
You'll get it
when you get older.
326
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,716
And this one definitely will.
327
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,719
All right, here we go.
328
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,722
Two, two, three, four.
329
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,524
No.
330
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,994
I'm gonna try my birthday.
331
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:30,397
Why would she use
your birthday as her code?
332
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,799
-Exactly.
-(scoffs)
333
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,302
Charlie, look.
334
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,737
Holy guacamole.
335
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,872
(exhales)
It's worse than we thought.
336
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:42,042
What the hell
are you two doing here?
337
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,610
Is that Felicia's purse?
338
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,946
Wha... Damn it.
Great looking out, Sid.
339
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,648
* Da, da, da, da, da, da *
340
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,717
* Da, da, da, da,
da, da... *
341
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:54,721
Oh, Hank,
I hate to have to tell you this,
342
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,956
but Felicia's been lying to you.
343
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,959
Damn it, woman,
I told you, stay out of this.
344
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,428
Let me be happy.
345
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,630
We found this sonogram
in her purse.
346
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,265
She's pregnant, Hank.
347
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,234
She's trying to trap you
with the baby
348
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,635
and take all your money.
349
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,970
Oh, my God.
350
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:14,307
Hey, lady, I said seven.
351
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,908
These are nines.
352
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,311
Get it together, Margaret.
353
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,889
I can't believe
Felicia's pregnant.
354
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:33,560
I just had to date
a 45-year-old.
355
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:36,963
Well, Hank, if you're gonna fly
that close to the sun,
356
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,966
you got to wear sunscreen.
357
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,768
CHARLIE: Well,
you should have come with me
358
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,170
the day I got snipped.
(chuckles)
359
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:46,005
They were doing two-for-one.
360
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,807
SID:
Apologies.
361
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,877
I got pulled
into some rink drama.
362
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:53,413
Avery's a good egg,
but she's lashing out
363
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,716
because-- surprise, surprise--
there's trouble at home.
364
00:16:56,749 --> 00:17:00,553
Sid, Felicia's pregnant.
She's baby-trapping Hank.
365
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:04,291
Oh, Hank. I am so sorry.
366
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,926
Can a 45-year-old
even have a baby?
367
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,028
I don't know a ton
about pregnancy.
368
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,663
Yes, it is absolutely possible.
369
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,299
Mm.
370
00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:15,335
And I assume the baby
comes out older, too?
371
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:20,240
-No?
-This can't be happening.
372
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:23,243
I can't have my golden years
filled with crying and fussing.
373
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,877
Well, think about it, Hank.
374
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:26,646
When the kid is old enough
to go off to college,
375
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,048
you'll only be... 86.
376
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,851
That is so old.
377
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,555
I knew deep down
she was out of my league.
378
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,624
I mean, why else
would I be fronting to her?
379
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:38,825
I'm a fool.
380
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:41,361
A sad, fertile fool.
381
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:45,532
Just out here, putting babies
all up in people.
382
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,501
Go ahead, Margaret, say it.
You were right.
383
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:51,204
I'm sorry, Hank.
This really sucks.
384
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,973
Hank, we want you to know
we're here for you.
385
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,376
Well, I just need to hear
Felicia own up to this.
386
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,910
I'm-a march
right across this room
387
00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,346
and give her a piece of my mind.
388
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,282
(grunting)
Whoa. Well, forget that.
389
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,783
Hey, Felicia!
390
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,552
Hey.
391
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,719
W-What are you guys doing here?
392
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,756
(stammers)
Me... You...
393
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,725
Problem... Diapers?
394
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,761
H-Hank, take a deep breath.
395
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,564
You know you babble
when you get too mad.
396
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,332
(panting):
You took a skate scamming.
397
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:24,003
What... How often? Never?
398
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,373
Hank, are you okay?
399
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:29,876
Wait, what is she doing
with my purse?
400
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,244
What the hell?
401
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,079
I know you're pregnant.
402
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,681
You never cared about my heart.
403
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,116
All you cared about
was my bank account.
404
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,051
Are you insane?
405
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,053
Oh, so that's the plan.
406
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,523
You're gonna have me
declared insane.
407
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:46,693
And guess who gets
all my baseball cards?
408
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,695
Suddenly, who's sitting
on a pile of mint condition
409
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,063
Ken Griffey Jr.'s,
I'm on Shutter Island.
410
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:53,065
I don't know, Felicia.
You tell me.
411
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:56,969
Am I insane?
412
00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,639
Yes!
413
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,942
This is my dog's sonogram, Hank.
414
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,278
Yeah, nice try. Dog sonogram.
415
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:08,315
What's next? What, seagulls
getting their blood pressure?
416
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,950
(whispers indistinctly)
417
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:15,087
I have, uh, just been informed
that dogs do get sonograms.
418
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:17,924
Yeah.
I had to take my dog to the vet
419
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,926
because he ate
a pair of cuff links.
420
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,761
Cuff links that I bought
for you.
421
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,567
Just to be clear,
I did say there was a small,
422
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:31,271
small, small chance
I could be wrong.
423
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,948
Good, you're still here.
424
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,350
Of course I am.
425
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,519
I can't get out
of these stupid skates.
426
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:50,189
And do you know why there's
a Monopoly token in my purse?
427
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,993
So, we cool?
428
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,264
No, Hank, we are not cool.
429
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,031
How could you think
I was scamming you?
430
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,434
Well, look at me,
and look at you.
431
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,102
You're smart, you're sexy.
432
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:05,204
You could have any guy you want.
433
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:08,541
Hey, for the record,
I genuinely like older men.
434
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,377
Single guys my age are obsessed
435
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,379
with their careers
and sports cars.
436
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:16,048
Well, the good news is
I don't have a job
437
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:19,051
and I drive a golf cart.
438
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,921
Look, I'm sorry my friends
got me all riled up
439
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:23,890
and I jumped to conclusions.
440
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:25,358
The truth is
441
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:28,194
I can't dance,
I can't roller skate
442
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,597
and I live
in a retirement community.
443
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,199
And I really like you.
444
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,201
And I really like you, too.
445
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,069
I don't care about
where you live.
446
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,071
Listen, I'm sorry
I screwed things up.
447
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,374
Do you think
you could forgive me
448
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,310
and we could give this
a fresh start?
449
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,312
Sure.
450
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:48,681
-But this time, let's be
honest with each other. -Mm.
451
00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:52,352
-And I'm still taking
your old ass dancing. -(laughs)
452
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,754
Well, just long as you
ice me down the next day.
453
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,389
(both laugh)
454
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:57,990
Oh, and your friends are crazy.
455
00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,992
Yeah, we're never hanging out
with them again.
456
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,998
Here's to single Hank.
457
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:09,101
-Ha, ha!
-To single Hank. -(laughs)
458
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:11,571
I kind of thought you guys
were gonna work it out.
459
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,606
I can't believe
you broke up with her.
460
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,475
I don't need Felicia
to make me feel young.
461
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:17,276
That's what
I got you freaks for.
462
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:18,978
(chuckles):
Yeah. Bye, Felicia.
463
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,314
-No new friends.
-(laughs)
464
00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:23,750
Kristin said trampolines
are stupid.
465
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,552
Girl, Kristin wishes
she had a trampoline.
466
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:27,787
That skank can
just shut her mouth.
467
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,423
Hoo, mama.
468
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:33,426
That's pretty good.
469
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,330
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
470
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,401
You've made the cut
with The Cool Kids.
471
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:43,636
Now here are a few more shows
to check out from Fox.
472
00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:47,474
Buckle up, buttercup.
473
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:52,144
It's real, and it pulls
people together.
474
00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:55,748
-* We're breaking waves
shooting star * -(siren wailing)
475
00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:59,318
* We live for glory
not forever *
476
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:00,353
MAN: Touchdown!
477
00:22:00,387 --> 00:22:03,956
* Reach out *
478
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:07,594
* Make this right here
right now *
479
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:10,530
* Stand up *
480
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,165
* Here right now *
481
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:15,167
That sounds like fun.
482
00:22:15,217 --> 00:22:19,767
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