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- Episode 3-
"Valerie Bonds with the Cast"
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How important is
the cast of a sitcom?
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Well, the cast is everything!
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All right?
How's that?
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And I love being
in an ensemble comedy.
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Surround me with a great cast
and I am in sitcom heaven.
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You know?
Uh...
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And I'm lucky enough to have
been thrown in the center of-
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You know, not just one,
but two great shows.
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So knock wood.
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Are you still close
to the cast of "I'm it"?
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Um, I'm close with the cast
of "I'm it", that old gang.
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Do you think you'll be closer
to this cast or the cast of "I'm it"?
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Well, you'll have to ask me that
in 97 episodes.
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00:00:39,925 --> 00:00:41,203
Right?
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- Good morning!
- Ah, good morning, Juna.
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Hi Jane.
Hi guys!
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Oh shit, I fucked up.
I'm sorry.
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- I'm not supposed to talk to the crew.
- Oh no, that's okay.
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- Don't worry about it.
- Okay.
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Well, let's see what
aunt Sassy's up to.
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Oh... it usually
makes a pop.
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Okay, here we go, everyone!
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- Guys, sorry about the late script delivery, everybody.
- Get used to it!
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I just have one thing to say.
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We haven't cast
the art critic yet, so...
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Our mr. Paulie G. here
will be reading it.
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- All right.
- And I have one thing to say.
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I can't act.
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"Episode number two:
two hot chicks,
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one hairy ass
and a paintball gun. "
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- Tom?
- Yes, you need something, Val?
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Yeah well, and I have
something to say.
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I- Um-
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Just wanted to
take this moment in,
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you know, for all of us
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'cause here we go!
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First official episode,
you know,
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it's exciting.
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We're all- We're just so lucky
to have found each other.
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You know?
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Here's to you,
each and every one, huh?
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All right. Jimmy, do you want
to say something?
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Uh, yeah, uh...
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Get that camera off me.
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Very good. Touche.
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Interior,
aunt Sassy's condo.
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Cassie and Dylan sit on the couch
in their bathing suits.
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I'm bored.
Let's paint the room.
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What about
the gestapo upstairs?
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Uh, no thank you.
I don't care for gazpacho.
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Cassie, if we're going to be roommates,
you've got to fight your blonde.
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Fight the blonde,
right.
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I'm talking about the condo gestapo-
Your "aunt" Sassy.
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- Oh...
- There's a knock on the door.
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Cassie reaches for the phone
and answers it.
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Hello?
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No, Cassie,
that was the door.
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Oh, right! Phone: hello;
door: come in.
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The intercom buzzes.
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- Who is it?
- Aunt Sassy.
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It's "aunt" Sassy.
Hide the evidence.
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Cassie throws a beach towel over mooner
and stitch, still asleep on the couch.
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The front door opens.
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Aunt Sassy stands there in her
pathetic pink running suit,
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holding pathetic pink
plastic workout weights.
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Ladies, I'm trucking on down
to the beach to jazzercise, any takers?
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No way!
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I mean, I have to study
for my law finals.
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Yeah, and I'm allergic to sand.
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- Hey, how was your blind date
last night, aunt Sassy?
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He was handsome, he was sexy.
He didn't show!
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Cassie and Shayne make
poor-Pathetic-Aunt-Sassy faces.
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00:04:03,537 --> 00:04:07,312
Very good, very good, everyone. The
writers still haven't figured out a tag.
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- Get used to it!
- Let's take a break and we'll start.
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00:04:10,748 --> 00:04:12,042
Actors 30 minutes!
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00:04:13,635 --> 00:04:15,700
Listen, gang- Hey, guys!
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- Jesse, Chris- Chris!
- What's up?
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Listen, I want to take
you all to lunch this week.
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00:04:21,918 --> 00:04:22,640
- Ohh, that's nice.
- Great!
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Yeah, have, like,
a special cast-Bonding lunch.
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- I do it with all my shows.
- Okay.
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- I'm inking wednesday.
- I can't do it wednesday.
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- Tuesday?
- I can't do it tuesday because I have an appointment.
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- You know, I'm gonna
talk to the writers.
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Why don't you figure it out and then you
let me know. It's gonna be fine.
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Okay.
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00:04:45,538 --> 00:04:47,732
We can't really rely
on that visual blow.
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Yeah, but they showed ass
in "N. Y. P. D. Blue. "
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00:04:49,855 --> 00:04:53,100
- 10 years ago and a drama.
- Fucking drama.
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00:04:53,805 --> 00:04:56,101
You know what?
I swear to god, if I hear fucking drama
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- One more fucking time-
- Jimmy!
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00:04:57,426 --> 00:04:59,531
- See you in 30 minutes, doll.
- Okay, yeah.
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00:04:59,836 --> 00:05:02,580
- No, seriously, fuck them!
- Listen, guys, really-
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00:05:03,088 --> 00:05:06,250
Let's be forensics people
and find fucking dead hookers
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00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:07,962
For five fucking shows!
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00:05:08,947 --> 00:05:09,933
Yeah, right right.
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- Guys, really great.
- -Fucking blah!
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- Tom, great first script.
- We're all fucking forensics people.
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00:05:13,626 --> 00:05:17,231
- Let's do five shows about it!
- It was really fun, and that blind date?
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So funny. You know what would be
really great is to, um-
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See aunt Sassy on a date
sometime.
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- Oh yeah yeah yeah.
- Right?
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Well, I got-
That was a great read.
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Aw, thanks! Quick question-
I'll walk with you.
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- I have a question.
- Guys, go back and get started. I'll be there in a sec!
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- Great script!
- Hey, val, check out my new dressing room!
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- Oh, that's great.
- Isn't it great?
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That's great.
Listen, here's the question.
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Is it aunt Sassy
or "aunt" Sassy?
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- Aunt Sassy.
- Okay, some of us
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are saying "aunt" Sassy.
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But, yeah, that's what I
thought it was. Okay, good.
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I'm glad that's cleared up.
Now, while we're on the subject,
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is Cassie my brother's
or my sister's child?
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- You're her aunt.
- Right, yes,
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00:06:03,338 --> 00:06:05,552
But is it my brother's
daughter or my sister's?
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It makes a difference,
you know?
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Paulie, what do you think,
brother, sister?
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Yeah, uh...
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00:06:13,565 --> 00:06:15,043
Brother or sister,
I don't know.
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- We didn't really give it that much thought.
- That's what I'm here for.
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- Didn't mean to step on toes.
- Oh no no no.
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No, no toes,
no toes.
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Okay.
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00:06:25,027 --> 00:06:26,862
No, you can't take it
personally. He's-
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He's just not
comfortable with the-
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- Cameras. Yeah.
- Yeah.
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00:06:33,115 --> 00:06:34,552
or the reality show?
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00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:36,002
I know a lot
of writers are upset
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because reality shows are
putting them out of work.
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Is that what it is?
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Well, I don't think he's...
worried about that.
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He had an emmy
when he was like 22.
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- Oh, he has an emmy?!
- Well, we both do.
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00:06:51,207 --> 00:06:53,630
Yeah, we won it for our first
"simpsons" script.
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Wow!
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Oh... I'm surrounded by emmys.
I didn't even know.
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Tom, whenever you're
finished with Valerie,
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00:06:59,938 --> 00:07:01,993
- I'll show her her dressing room.
- Okay, we're done.
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00:07:02,198 --> 00:07:03,911
- Oh, I mean, are we-?
- Sure, yeah.
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You go, that's fine.
So, brother?
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Just it might make a better
guest star down the road.
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- I think.
- Brother?
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- Uh, let me think about it.
- Yeah, think about it.
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- I'll- Yeah.
- Okay.
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Yeah.
Okay, thanks.
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- Valerie, it's this way.
- This way.
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I think you're gonna like it. We gave you
the one with the private bathroom.
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- Right up there.
- Up?
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Yeah, I mean that way the kids
won't bother you, you know?
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That Chris is driving me
fricking crazy.
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00:07:28,195 --> 00:07:31,303
Right. Now, I know
that one has a bathroom.
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Yes, Tom and Paulie G. wanted
that for their hangout room
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- On show nights, you know?
- Uh-Huh.
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00:07:37,866 --> 00:07:40,662
- Right right.
- I gotta go to props.
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All right, yeah.
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Bring your sherpa!
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...and they gave me this private dressing
room way above everyone else.
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00:07:55,705 --> 00:07:58,032
It's a lovely gesture
and I appreciate it,
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00:07:58,305 --> 00:08:00,701
but, you know, it puts me on a pedestal
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00:08:00,768 --> 00:08:03,332
and I have to climb down off of it.
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00:08:05,366 --> 00:08:07,123
Hey, shouldn't you get up?
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00:08:07,867 --> 00:08:10,810
No, I'm gonna wait until
you finish getting dressed.
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00:08:11,137 --> 00:08:13,903
The boom isn't picking him up.
I should mic him.
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00:08:15,035 --> 00:08:17,332
You're gonna wait?
Mark, it's 7:00.
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00:08:17,337 --> 00:08:19,022
You have to take
Franchesca to school.
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00:08:19,228 --> 00:08:20,200
Yeah, I- But-
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00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,100
Well, you know, just-
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Act like yourself.
Pretend they're not here.
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00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:28,671
Yeah, well, how am I not
supposed to see that?
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00:08:28,805 --> 00:08:30,911
Al, what the fuck?
Your hand's in the shot.
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00:08:30,915 --> 00:08:33,713
- The sheets keep moving. Can we
just get him a t-Shirt? - Sure, yeah.
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Right, can we make a deal that we
don't start until after breakfast?
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00:08:40,538 --> 00:08:42,773
There you go.
There.
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00:08:42,808 --> 00:08:45,402
- Thank you.
- Yeah, it's no big deal.
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00:08:45,935 --> 00:08:48,603
You know, just us,
you and me in the morning.
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00:08:49,298 --> 00:08:52,913
What about this for the hair?
Very "That girl"!
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A little too much.
Yeah.
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00:08:56,638 --> 00:08:57,830
Daddy, can I come in?
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00:08:57,907 --> 00:08:59,323
Yeah, come in, Franchesca.
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00:09:02,368 --> 00:09:05,621
We're running a little late, so your
father will get ready in a minute.
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00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,901
Oh well, I was wondering if
you could drive me, Valerie?
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00:09:10,338 --> 00:09:11,800
You want me
to drive you to school?
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00:09:12,505 --> 00:09:14,953
And I thought we could,
like, talk on the way.
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00:09:15,197 --> 00:09:16,733
That's great.
187
00:09:17,478 --> 00:09:19,440
Why don't you go down to the
kitchen and I'll be down in a minute.
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00:09:22,536 --> 00:09:23,371
All right.
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00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,043
How do you like that, huh?
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00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:31,352
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes! ♪
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00:09:32,867 --> 00:09:34,392
Big day at the Berman house.
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00:09:35,837 --> 00:09:38,270
That little girl is finally
reaching out to me.
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00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:41,873
A little overwhelmed.
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00:09:42,908 --> 00:09:44,801
Jane- Um-
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00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,631
This might be a good moment
for a personal video diary.
196
00:09:47,706 --> 00:09:49,422
Should I just run in the bathroom,
knock that out?
197
00:09:49,827 --> 00:09:53,092
- She's waiting for a ride.
- She'll be fine. Won't take five.
198
00:09:53,297 --> 00:09:56,163
- Really feeling it.
- Why don't we just head downstairs
199
00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:58,421
- And we can get it O. T. F.
- What's o. T. F.?
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00:09:58,528 --> 00:10:00,082
- On the fly.
- Great!
201
00:10:00,636 --> 00:10:03,632
Mickey, will you grab my purse, dear?
We're gonna get this o. T. F.
202
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,113
Marky-Mark, have a great day.
203
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:09,953
Bye, Mickey.
204
00:10:12,305 --> 00:10:13,431
Go ahead.
205
00:10:17,837 --> 00:10:22,782
Well, today is a day that I've been
working toward for a very very long time.
206
00:10:23,266 --> 00:10:26,332
Uh... franchesca and I
are starting to bond.
207
00:10:27,238 --> 00:10:30,692
And we're crossing
from stepmom to friend.
208
00:10:31,137 --> 00:10:33,122
I'm sorry. Jane!
I think we-
209
00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:34,902
Could we switch so I'm
looking up at camera?
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00:10:34,908 --> 00:10:36,583
I think it'll be a better
angle, that's all.
211
00:10:36,617 --> 00:10:37,712
Yeah, let's switch it out.
212
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,691
Okay, that's too close.
213
00:10:42,936 --> 00:10:44,290
Yeah, okay.
214
00:10:46,338 --> 00:10:51,302
Well, today's a day that I've been working
toward for a very long time.
215
00:10:51,368 --> 00:10:54,930
Franchesca and I are
finally starting to bond.
216
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:56,610
Maybe you just
stay there and I-?
217
00:10:57,568 --> 00:11:02,960
Um, well, today's a day that I've been
working toward for a very long time.
218
00:11:03,036 --> 00:11:05,001
Franchesca and I are...
219
00:11:05,068 --> 00:11:07,332
finally starting to bond,
220
00:11:07,408 --> 00:11:10,701
Uh, crossing from stepmom to friend.
221
00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:14,473
It should- "On the fly"
is moving, right?
222
00:11:14,606 --> 00:11:16,940
I can't just be standing.
Let's start at the top then.
223
00:11:20,868 --> 00:11:21,552
Rolling.
224
00:11:25,438 --> 00:11:26,950
Jane, we're coming up
on her school.
225
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,973
Did any of you guys
work on "the real world"?
226
00:11:31,015 --> 00:11:32,373
"The Ashlee Simpson show"?
227
00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:35,503
Jane, there's another reality
show filming at the school.
228
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:37,543
Unit, we're pulling up
on the school.
229
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,202
Some father and son
trading places thing.
230
00:11:41,606 --> 00:11:44,190
- Who is this?
- "Switcheroo" for nickelodeon.
231
00:11:44,306 --> 00:11:46,270
Oh, move it!
You're in our shot!
232
00:11:46,678 --> 00:11:49,300
Relax, man, we're shooting
a reality show too.
233
00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:53,063
- Which one?
- "The comeback" with Valerie Cherish.
234
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,310
- Who?!
- Valerie Cherish.
235
00:11:56,005 --> 00:11:58,751
- Come again.
- Valerie Cherish!
236
00:11:58,757 --> 00:12:01,021
Jane, I don't want to be
late for rehearsal, so...
237
00:12:01,608 --> 00:12:03,873
Yeah, we'll just shoot Valerie
saying goodbye from the car.
238
00:12:03,976 --> 00:12:05,262
- Yeah.
- You're not coming in?
239
00:12:05,605 --> 00:12:09,763
Can't do it. We have another crew
and rehearsal, so-
240
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:12,871
"Switcheroo" is stupid. Big deal,
an adult dresses like a kid.
241
00:12:23,766 --> 00:12:24,862
Come in!
242
00:12:26,076 --> 00:12:27,950
- Ready for me?
- Eddie: actually no.
243
00:12:28,258 --> 00:12:30,130
Jimmy's still working
the bits out with the kids.
244
00:12:30,235 --> 00:12:32,311
- Oh okay.
- We're not getting to your scene till after lunch.
245
00:12:32,617 --> 00:12:36,341
- You're released, okay?
- Well, we're having our special cast lunch today.
246
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,152
- So I'm gonna wait here.
- Great.
247
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:56,783
What do you think, Jimmy?
248
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:06,601
- Let's try the t-shirt bit.
- Rehearsal, t-shirt!
249
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,291
Boys, whoo!
250
00:13:08,765 --> 00:13:09,452
Time out.
251
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,350
Does that work?
252
00:13:16,655 --> 00:13:17,921
Wow, I'd say
that worked.
253
00:13:17,928 --> 00:13:20,560
- Man: shazam!
- Does it work? Is it hot in here?
254
00:13:23,665 --> 00:13:26,061
Guy, how many ways
do I have to tell you no?
255
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:29,343
- We're allowed to shoot Valerie's rehearsals.
- Valerie's not in this scene.
256
00:13:29,505 --> 00:13:32,392
I know but I was just missing
everyone way up there in my castle
257
00:13:32,398 --> 00:13:34,660
so I thought I'd just hang,
watch a little.
258
00:13:35,245 --> 00:13:36,111
Please?
259
00:13:36,968 --> 00:13:39,003
You know what? It's about
that time. Let's take lunch.
260
00:13:39,167 --> 00:13:40,481
Long lunch, everyone!
261
00:13:41,436 --> 00:13:43,543
Jimmy?
Question.
262
00:13:44,036 --> 00:13:47,770
Uh, Shayne keeps
saying "aunt" Sassy.
263
00:13:49,365 --> 00:13:52,803
- Where's the question?
- Shouldn't we all be on the same page?
264
00:13:53,538 --> 00:13:56,651
I'm concerned about the viewers
at home. They hear aunt, "aunt,"
265
00:13:57,076 --> 00:13:58,171
What's happening?
266
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,660
Why are you so worried
about this show?
267
00:14:01,205 --> 00:14:02,793
This is not your show.
268
00:14:03,337 --> 00:14:04,710
That's your show.
269
00:14:05,537 --> 00:14:08,741
This show is the car that
takes you to that show.
270
00:14:13,146 --> 00:14:15,582
Hey, don't hit Juna
in the face! She's the money!
271
00:14:15,838 --> 00:14:16,890
Easy with the props please.
272
00:14:18,835 --> 00:14:21,842
Okay, are my co-Stars
ready for lunch, huh?
273
00:14:21,847 --> 00:14:24,561
- I gotta make a phone call.
- I gotta get changed.
274
00:14:24,777 --> 00:14:26,262
All right, I'll meet you
there then.
275
00:14:26,436 --> 00:14:28,581
I'm gonna climb everest
and freshen up.
276
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:33,223
I'm gonna run by you here.
277
00:14:42,037 --> 00:14:44,713
- Is it good?
- Is this taken?
278
00:14:45,216 --> 00:14:47,131
Oh yes. We're waiting for someone.
279
00:14:48,756 --> 00:14:51,670
In fact, you know I think I'm gonna
call her, call Juna, see what's going on.
280
00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:56,833
It's not a cast lunch unless
we have the whole cast, huh?
281
00:14:58,178 --> 00:14:59,361
- Don't you think?
- Mm-Hmm.
282
00:14:59,506 --> 00:15:00,751
It went straight
to voicemail.
283
00:15:01,436 --> 00:15:03,823
We should've ate somewhere
organic. This is like, wow!
284
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,133
- That's really bad.
- I'm sorry, I thought-
285
00:15:06,136 --> 00:15:08,640
I picked this place 'cause I
thought you kids might like it,
286
00:15:08,746 --> 00:15:12,171
Think it's fun or- You know.
My first thought was to go to the ivy.
287
00:15:12,277 --> 00:15:13,412
- Oh, I love the ivy.
- Do you?
288
00:15:13,447 --> 00:15:15,980
- Oh, I practically have
my own table there.
289
00:15:16,068 --> 00:15:17,481
You know that scene
with the paintball gun?
290
00:15:17,738 --> 00:15:20,680
- The one where "aunt" Sassy comes in?
- I love that scene.
291
00:15:20,688 --> 00:15:24,531
- I mean hat scene is so funny!
- Don't you think it'd be funny of you jumped on my back?
292
00:15:24,606 --> 00:15:25,713
- At the end?
- Oh yeah, that'd be so funny.
293
00:15:26,505 --> 00:15:27,342
Done, done.
294
00:15:27,606 --> 00:15:29,752
That'll be perfect.
Perfect.
295
00:15:29,868 --> 00:15:33,871
Chris, could you just be aware of where
your body is in time and space,
296
00:15:33,878 --> 00:15:35,482
'Cause you just
threw me onto the-
297
00:15:37,827 --> 00:15:39,963
- You've been holding
this stool for an hour.
298
00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:43,181
- Yeah, 'cause we're waiting for our friend.
- I don't think she's coming.
299
00:15:43,216 --> 00:15:45,651
You can't just hold a stool,
man, it's lunchtime.
300
00:15:45,955 --> 00:15:48,210
Fine, fine, okay.
Let's just-
301
00:15:48,705 --> 00:15:50,661
You know what- Ow!
That's my foot.
302
00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:51,600
- You're on my foot.
- Sorry.
303
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,820
That's all right.
Jane?
304
00:15:53,966 --> 00:15:56,223
You know what?
I think I'm just gonna go.
305
00:15:56,227 --> 00:15:57,452
I have to pick up
something at tiffany.
306
00:15:58,905 --> 00:16:01,002
Hey, can I get you to sign
a release real quick?
307
00:16:01,006 --> 00:16:03,671
- Sure.
- Don't you want to know what it's for?
308
00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:05,780
Oh, right.
What's it for?
309
00:16:06,238 --> 00:16:08,323
"The comeback",
Valerie Cherish.
310
00:16:09,506 --> 00:16:11,500
"The comeback,"
what what?
311
00:16:13,135 --> 00:16:15,671
You are a class act, red.
312
00:16:15,876 --> 00:16:18,461
Well, first show, gotta make
a fuss, you know.
313
00:16:18,868 --> 00:16:20,463
It turned out good.
Hi!
314
00:16:21,266 --> 00:16:25,160
Um, I need to get six of these cute
pattern keys that you have.
315
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:28,081
- So...
- Which one?
316
00:16:28,606 --> 00:16:32,091
Oh, it's for six different people so
I need six different ones.
317
00:16:32,398 --> 00:16:36,352
So, uh... I'm going to match the key
with the personality type.
318
00:16:36,438 --> 00:16:37,862
Who's better than you?
319
00:16:39,436 --> 00:16:43,021
Okay, I think this crazy
swirly-Color one for chris.
320
00:16:43,065 --> 00:16:44,092
- Mm-Hmm.
- Right?
321
00:16:44,356 --> 00:16:47,452
And... oh, the tiger stripe for Jesse.
322
00:16:47,705 --> 00:16:50,350
- Yeah, he seems like a tiger, right?
- Definitely.
323
00:16:50,557 --> 00:16:52,230
Wild, exotic...
324
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,340
Ready to pounce.
325
00:16:56,706 --> 00:16:58,132
And, uh...
326
00:16:58,207 --> 00:17:00,423
Shayne did all those disney shows,
327
00:17:00,426 --> 00:17:03,242
so I think these cute
teddy bears for her.
328
00:17:03,366 --> 00:17:05,822
Okay, probably calls them "taddy" bears.
329
00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:11,900
Uh... oh definitely
the clouds for Juna.
330
00:17:12,168 --> 00:17:14,800
- You know, airy, ethereal.
- Invisible.
331
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:19,220
- Mick, can't go there.
- It's rude! You held that stool.
332
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,402
- Oh, the yankees for Tom!
- Oh!
333
00:17:23,468 --> 00:17:25,701
- 'Cause he always has that hat.
- Mm-Hmm.
334
00:17:25,767 --> 00:17:29,101
And... and for Paulie G...
335
00:17:29,366 --> 00:17:33,302
Doou- Do you have one
with little chainsaws on it?
336
00:17:35,018 --> 00:17:35,582
No.
337
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,381
I was kidding.
That was a joke.
338
00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:43,003
You know what, the gold-
Gold for his emmy.
339
00:17:43,138 --> 00:17:44,513
Okay, can I have the key?
340
00:17:45,135 --> 00:17:47,781
Oh, I don't need a real key.
It's just for decoration.
341
00:17:48,106 --> 00:17:50,282
- So...
- You need a key to make a key.
342
00:17:50,568 --> 00:17:53,412
You know it really doesn't look
like a key until you cut it.
343
00:17:53,635 --> 00:17:56,223
Well, I'm not gonna-
I can't give you one of my keys.
344
00:17:57,315 --> 00:18:02,421
Here, use my key from my
storage unit in the valley.
345
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,811
- I haven't been there in years.
- Great, thanks! Okay, there you go.
346
00:18:05,016 --> 00:18:06,883
I should probably throw all that stuff out,
347
00:18:07,368 --> 00:18:11,090
But as soon as I do, I know someone's
gonna need a mirrored disco ball.
348
00:18:14,736 --> 00:18:16,073
Could you talk about the fact
349
00:18:16,076 --> 00:18:17,441
that Juna didn't
show up for lunch?
350
00:18:21,236 --> 00:18:23,433
- Whenever you're ready.
- Sure, yeah.
351
00:18:24,866 --> 00:18:25,673
okay.
352
00:18:27,168 --> 00:18:28,691
Jane, I'm sorry.
Um...
353
00:18:29,918 --> 00:18:31,072
I'm confused.
354
00:18:31,075 --> 00:18:33,602
I thought we were going to be talking
about my feelings about the first show.
355
00:18:33,935 --> 00:18:36,170
- We will.
- Oh good, okay.
356
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:40,081
People will be wondering about it
so it will just be good to have.
357
00:18:41,226 --> 00:18:43,963
I mean, we'll need it if they want
to make the episode about that.
358
00:18:44,845 --> 00:18:46,842
Why would they need
to make the episode about that?
359
00:18:46,865 --> 00:18:48,872
No, it would just be something
that would be good to have.
360
00:18:50,106 --> 00:18:51,431
Who are they, then?
361
00:18:51,606 --> 00:18:53,673
- Oh, the editors.
- I see.
362
00:18:54,268 --> 00:18:56,360
Okay.
363
00:18:57,305 --> 00:18:58,682
So could you talk about it?
364
00:19:02,806 --> 00:19:04,502
Well- Look-
365
00:19:04,906 --> 00:19:07,563
Jane, if I talk about it,
then it gives the idea that,
366
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,371
you know,
I was hurt by it.
367
00:19:16,838 --> 00:19:18,601
Fine.
368
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,692
Yeah, good, yeah.
I'd rather not.
369
00:19:22,005 --> 00:19:25,423
All right, you guys are great!
This is a nice pumped audience.
370
00:19:25,527 --> 00:19:27,532
- Give yourselves a round of applause.
- Oh my god, Val, hi!
371
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,642
- Hi.
- I was just on my way up to your room.
372
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:34,912
Um, I was wondering if I could make up to you
for yesterday by taking you to lunch at the ivy?
373
00:19:35,015 --> 00:19:37,612
- Just us, girls' lunch.
- Juna, I would love that.
374
00:19:37,907 --> 00:19:40,632
- Great.
- Listen, I have a starting show gift-
375
00:19:40,706 --> 00:19:43,600
- Oooh! - First show gift- Not
just 'cause you apologized either.
376
00:19:43,606 --> 00:19:45,673
- Okay.
- Okay, have a good first show.
377
00:19:45,678 --> 00:19:47,961
Thanks, you too.
378
00:19:54,167 --> 00:19:56,503
- Looking for me?
- Yes, I am!
379
00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:59,202
- I have a first show gift for you.
- Oh my god!
380
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:00,701
- Tiffany?
- Well...
381
00:20:00,736 --> 00:20:02,221
Tiffany- It's so cool.
Aw...
382
00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:05,630
Key- Keychain.
383
00:20:06,137 --> 00:20:10,473
Aunt Sassy's condo, got it
for all of aunt Sassy's tenants.
384
00:20:11,267 --> 00:20:13,260
Keychain from aunt Sassy.
385
00:20:13,305 --> 00:20:15,652
Oh no, it doesn't- It's not-
That's not the right key.
386
00:20:15,938 --> 00:20:18,573
- Oh, it broke off.
- Yeah.
387
00:20:19,006 --> 00:20:22,852
Um, 'cause that key was
for mickey's storage unit in the valley.
388
00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:25,652
So... you know what?
389
00:20:25,738 --> 00:20:27,690
Sorry I can't stay
and help you figure this out.
390
00:20:27,865 --> 00:20:31,773
'Cause the show's 10 minutes away and
I've still got 20 minutes of hair to do.
391
00:20:31,778 --> 00:20:34,143
So, sorry. Get someone else
to help you with that.
392
00:20:34,147 --> 00:20:38,553
Oh tom! Tom, I have a start gift
for you and paulie g.
393
00:20:38,558 --> 00:20:40,281
Oh great, great! You can just
put it in our room.
394
00:20:40,285 --> 00:20:42,313
- It's right at the end of the hall.
- The one with the bathroom.
395
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:43,732
I know which one it is.
396
00:20:46,008 --> 00:20:48,503
The excitement-
First show!
397
00:20:58,605 --> 00:20:59,973
Like a tiffany elf-
398
00:21:01,557 --> 00:21:02,272
Fuck!
399
00:21:03,506 --> 00:21:05,342
What the fuck are you doing in here?
400
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,071
I was just leaving you
a first show gift.
401
00:21:09,278 --> 00:21:12,091
It's a keychain from Tiffany. Sorry!
402
00:21:14,008 --> 00:21:15,130
He shouldn't use it.
403
00:21:16,268 --> 00:21:18,343
I should tell him.
Don't use the key!
404
00:21:18,506 --> 00:21:21,490
'Cause it'll- The- It could
break the lock 'cause it isn't-
405
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:22,683
- Get out of here!
- All right.
406
00:21:24,205 --> 00:21:24,813
Okay...
407
00:21:27,065 --> 00:21:28,643
I can't believe what just happened.
408
00:21:30,968 --> 00:21:33,592
Jane, good luck getting whoever
that was to sign a release.
409
00:21:45,768 --> 00:21:48,000
- It's show time!
- Yes, it is.
410
00:21:56,437 --> 00:21:57,463
Can I get you another ice tea?
411
00:21:57,736 --> 00:22:00,173
- Uh, no thanks.
- Are you sure you don't want to order?
412
00:22:00,868 --> 00:22:02,622
I- I'm- Gonna wait
a little longer.
413
00:22:02,937 --> 00:22:03,703
Yeah.
414
00:22:12,806 --> 00:22:13,940
40 minutes late.
415
00:22:17,206 --> 00:22:18,313
I don't think she's coming.
416
00:22:19,537 --> 00:22:20,581
Again.
417
00:22:23,265 --> 00:22:25,111
Jane, do you want to sit
and have lunch with me?
418
00:22:25,315 --> 00:22:28,083
- Oh, I can't, I'm working.
- Yeah, no.
419
00:22:28,586 --> 00:22:31,530
I'm just gonna wait
a little longer then.
420
00:23:09,105 --> 00:23:12,722
Oh Val, I am so sorry!
I was waiting at the ivy.
421
00:23:14,136 --> 00:23:16,702
I left you a message.
I told you to meet me here.
422
00:23:16,867 --> 00:23:18,923
I couldn't- We couldn't
get a table at the ivy.
423
00:23:18,925 --> 00:23:21,332
- So-
- I just checked my messages now.
424
00:23:21,405 --> 00:23:22,602
- Just now.
- I'm so lame.
425
00:23:23,007 --> 00:23:26,550
Wow, an actress who doesn't check
her messages every 15 minutes!
426
00:23:26,668 --> 00:23:28,373
All right, call "ripley's
believe it or not. "
427
00:23:29,387 --> 00:23:31,713
I know. I mean, I'm not
really an actress.
428
00:23:31,718 --> 00:23:33,903
This is my first
acting gig ever, so-
429
00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:37,780
This is your first acting gig, really?
430
00:23:38,108 --> 00:23:41,833
I mean, can't you tell? I feel like sometimes
I'm gonna get fired, I swear.
431
00:23:42,308 --> 00:23:44,853
Hi, I am so sorry
that I kept you waiting.
432
00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:46,490
No problem.
Something to drink?
433
00:23:47,108 --> 00:23:49,182
Um, I'll have whatever
my friend's having.
434
00:23:49,758 --> 00:23:50,570
Thank you.
435
00:23:51,868 --> 00:23:55,400
Wow.
Didn't- Didn't know.
436
00:23:56,538 --> 00:23:57,800
- Listen, baby girl?
- Mm-Hmm?
437
00:23:57,868 --> 00:24:00,731
You obviously don't know
this business yet, but I do.
438
00:24:01,135 --> 00:24:02,800
All right, so I'm gonna
help you out.
439
00:24:02,868 --> 00:24:06,291
- Okay.
- You and I are about to get swept up
440
00:24:06,296 --> 00:24:07,842
into a whole lot of success.
441
00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:11,102
But with that comes
a whole lot of ugly.
442
00:24:11,866 --> 00:24:14,972
You know? 'Cause everything
we say, everything we do
443
00:24:15,165 --> 00:24:17,961
- is being watched.
- Right, the cameras.
444
00:24:18,517 --> 00:24:20,221
Oh no, tabloids!
445
00:24:20,228 --> 00:24:21,351
- Oh.
- Oh yeah.
446
00:24:21,535 --> 00:24:23,971
And they are gonna come gunning for us.
We're the money.
447
00:24:24,705 --> 00:24:28,580
You know? So let's avoid who
stood up who at what restaurant.
448
00:24:28,738 --> 00:24:31,400
- You know? 'Cause that's what sells papers.
- Yeah.
449
00:24:31,837 --> 00:24:34,230
- Right.
- So let's- Let's make a "pack",
450
00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:36,323
here and now, you and I,
451
00:24:36,626 --> 00:24:40,161
that we are going to watch
out for each other.
452
00:24:40,467 --> 00:24:44,003
Oh, god, Val, I am so happy
to hear you say that.
453
00:24:44,007 --> 00:24:46,823
- Aw.
- Because sometimes I just feel like I need someone
454
00:24:46,905 --> 00:24:49,363
- to help me out when I'm-
- Sorry, put a pin in that,
455
00:24:49,368 --> 00:24:50,793
'Cause here we go.
456
00:24:52,107 --> 00:24:54,000
- Here it comes.
- What, who?
457
00:24:54,637 --> 00:24:58,033
A photographer. He's been trying to get
my attention for a while.
458
00:24:58,105 --> 00:25:00,610
- Juna! Can I get a shot, Juna?
- Oh god.
459
00:25:01,037 --> 00:25:03,891
- I'm so sorry about this.
- How does he even know who you are?
460
00:25:04,368 --> 00:25:08,602
Um, I have a rock band
and we're sort of known in L. A.
461
00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:11,800
- Oh, yeah.
- Thank you but we're having lunch right now.
462
00:25:12,007 --> 00:25:13,573
- I'm sorry.
- Juna, come on, come on.
463
00:25:13,575 --> 00:25:15,803
Just give me one.
Gimme one.
464
00:25:15,865 --> 00:25:18,191
- Oh god, I'm sorry.
- You know, let's just give him one
465
00:25:18,298 --> 00:25:20,080
- Or he'll never leave us alone.
- Okay.
466
00:25:23,567 --> 00:25:25,632
Wait one- Wait.
467
00:25:32,137 --> 00:25:34,603
It's been 15 minutes,
so where could it be?
468
00:25:34,607 --> 00:25:36,372
- You know?
- He's coming.
469
00:25:37,806 --> 00:25:41,531
This is ridiculous.
I can't just be standing here.
470
00:25:41,765 --> 00:25:43,762
You know, 'cause...
471
00:25:45,337 --> 00:25:48,932
* oh, mama dear, we're not the fortunate ones *
472
00:25:49,005 --> 00:25:50,748
* and girls, they want to have fun... *
473
00:25:50,783 --> 00:25:52,491
- This makes you look bad.
- Excuse me.
474
00:25:53,107 --> 00:25:55,310
They were definitely here after me. Yeah.
475
00:25:55,965 --> 00:25:58,682
Sorry, it's just, you know-
I've been waiting since
476
00:25:58,988 --> 00:26:00,753
you were eating your salad,
you know?
477
00:26:00,957 --> 00:26:02,470
I know. No, it's not your fault.
478
00:26:03,346 --> 00:26:06,360
* the phone rings in the middle of the night... *
479
00:26:06,437 --> 00:26:08,162
* my father yells... *
480
00:26:08,177 --> 00:26:10,121
You know maybe the key was mistagged.
481
00:26:10,538 --> 00:26:13,143
Can I just have a look,
'cause it could be in there?
482
00:26:13,365 --> 00:26:17,061
* still number one, but girls they want to have fun... *
483
00:26:17,137 --> 00:26:19,532
No, it's not.
Wait- Lemme just-
484
00:26:19,806 --> 00:26:22,411
- No, that's not mine.
- It's coming.
485
00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:25,461
Yeah, but...
486
00:26:25,988 --> 00:26:28,172
- No charge.
- Really?
487
00:26:28,768 --> 00:26:29,600
That's nice.
488
00:26:31,165 --> 00:26:34,171
You know what? That's
really nice. Thank you...
489
00:26:34,705 --> 00:26:36,210
So much.
490
00:26:38,156 --> 00:26:39,913
You know? 'cause I don't-
you shouldn't be penalized.
491
00:26:40,018 --> 00:26:40,821
You know, I just-
492
00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:43,623
Thank you anyway.
493
00:26:43,625 --> 00:26:44,992
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
494
00:26:45,567 --> 00:26:48,531
* girls wanna have... *
495
00:26:56,236 --> 00:26:58,932
- Nice watch.
- Thank you.
496
00:27:03,206 --> 00:27:06,361
* some boys take a beautiful girl *
497
00:27:06,435 --> 00:27:10,732
* and hide her away from the rest of the world *
498
00:27:10,805 --> 00:27:14,563
* I want to be the one to walk in the sun *
499
00:27:14,637 --> 00:27:18,131
* oh girls, they wanna have fun *
500
00:27:18,206 --> 00:27:24,733
* oh, girls just wanna have-
That's all they really want. *
501
00:27:24,783 --> 00:27:29,333
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