Original subtitles

Sir.

Sir.

We've reached.

What is the time?

Quarter past ten.

I asked you to take the Link Road,

we would have met traffic there.

I could have slept for another 30 minutes.

That's where we came from, sir.

All the traffic lights were green.

I'm going through a bad phase.

Remind me to call Dinesh on Sunday,

I'll keep a Puja at home.

Yes.

Decrease the temperature of the A.C. a bit.

Wake me up at 10:30.

Sir, Lata ma'am has been calling repeatedly.

What do I do if she's been calling repeatedly?

Now that there is a doctor in the family,

everybody wants to get friendly.

At our wedding, they gifted us a

small pressure cooker and left.

Didn't call us once after that.

Now that they want to save consultation charges,

they've invited me over for lunch.

It'll be a big deal if they even offered Khichdi for lunch.

I'm sleeping for half an hour.

Don't wake me up.

Sir, Mrs. Chhabra had also called.

Why was Mrs. Chhabra calling?

She might also just leave,

give me the phone.

Once I get free from here,

Because of the ECG machine,

Mehta is getting all my customers.

Patients.

For 9 months, I keep collecting small sums of money from them

and when there is a chance of getting good money from deliveries,

all of them run to Mehta.

Once the ECG machine is fixed,

I'll get Mehta's shop

Hello Mrs. Chhabra!

Ya, ya

Tell me? Tell me?

Okay.

Mrs. Chhabra,

I won't advise coitus in the

first trimester.

Yes, exactly, that means intercourse.

Okay.

He's insisting?

No, it won't hit the baby's head.

The baby is safe.

How are you brother-in-law?

How are you?

Hello sister.

Yes, it has been 4 years.

How is everything?

How can I be of any help?

Suchi remembers you often, didi.

How old must she be now?

Suchi is his wife's name.

Alright.

She must be around 40-45?

She's 34.

We have a 10 years age difference.

Oh, she's that young.

Mudit, we'd called you for something important.

You're family, so

and you're a gynecologist, so...

What?

Really? You?

Have you lost your mind? What are you saying?

Why are you getting egoistic?

Will you talk seriously?

So,

the thing is,

his

soon to be wife.

Say Om,

deep breath.

Mummy.

She's fit.

Everything is normal.

What is this?

I'd applied it in the morning for the Puja, so it might have stuck.

Are all the tests done?

Won't we have to get an ECG done?

What do I tell you now?

The other day it was Vishwakarma Day, so

the idol was right in front of me

and I was holding a Coconut in my hand.

So, there's a slight problem. Otherwise,

she's fine.

Actually uncle for a second opinion, I was thinking of

Dr. Mehta.

He's a thief!

A thief!

When you have a home doctor, why go to Dr. Mehta?

Do you know what he does?

and then, he steals their rings and chains.

Already a few cases are registered against him.

I'll do your check-up.

Show me your tongue,

if you have the slightest doubt.

Hey, how long will you look at her tongue for?

Have a look at my back too. Its aching

Dad.

I told you,

He's not an orthopedist.

Then?

He is a woman's

doctor.

What?

Of course, he is from Lata's family.

What else can one expect?

He must have been taught all these bad things.

Right, we teach bad things

and then just become doctors.

No, he's right Mudit.

All the faults are in my family, right?

Who attempted suicide yesterday?

Who said 'I'll hang by the fan and kill myself'?

Broke the fan

and the bed.

What other choice has your son given me?

As a joke I might have sometime said

that I want to look at my grandchild's face.

But what was the hurry?

Grandpa, I made a mistake.

It had to happen after marriage, anyway.

It's just a bit early.

We'll adjust.

Shut up.

Just keep quiet.

I'm not the one at fault alone,

she's the one who excited me.

Ask her, who threw Chinese food off the table that day?

Mikesh?

Tanya,

did you talk to your father?

No, aunty.

He's not answering his phone.

Alright.

Listen

Tanya,

Mikku.

Now, what's gone is gone.

But in the future

As soon as you speak with your dad,

you two will have to get married.

I don't want to discuss this matter any further, Mikku.

Tanya?

Do you have a problem with this?

No, aunty.

I mean, I understand.

Because of us,

you had to go through

Later, we were anyway planning to. So

might as well do it now.

Listen to me

Who asked you?

Did I ask you anything?

Atleast listen to me once.

I won't go to the U.S. right now, alright?

If I need to quit my job for her, I'll do it.

For another year I'm here with her.

I'll take care of her.

Whatever she needs. Mangoes, Tamarind,

Lemon Pickle,

I'll get her anything she wants to eat.

But, marriage

is something I don't want to do right now.

You have wanted to get married since you were 3 years old.

And now suddenly, you don't want to get married.

I don't have a problem with marriage.

Just

not right now.

I have a problem with doing it right now.

Listen to me,

if this has got to do with the delivery fees,

Found her?

Yes, look she's sitting at the back.

Nobody is there.

Shall I check the boot?

If you can't see anyone, it means I couldn't find her.

Why are you getting angry with me?

Is it because of me that Tanya bhabhi left the house?

Everyone gets abusive with the driver.

From being courteous, you've started getting brash.

Alright man.

Her and her dad's phones are switched off.

and grandpa's been threatening me saying, he'll drink poison.

Please don't feel bad.

I consider you to be my elder brother.

I understand.

Even I'm worried about Tanya bhabhi,

that's why

In marriage related affairs

one shouldn't postpone matters too much.

Look at me.

photographs of girls.

I even liked one of the them.

I agreed to get married within 6 months.

But daddy liked her more,

Since then Phulwari became my mother.

I got lucky I met Shabnam , Mikesh bhaiya

Or I would have become Devdas.

Shabnam, your girlfriend?

Shabnam.

Uncle?

I mean, dad.

I've been calling you since morning.

You haven't been answering.

Your house is locked.

We're waiting downstairs.

Is Tanya with you?

She isn't?

Are you coming here?

Alright, come.

I'll wait here.

Alright, come.

What happened? Is uncle coming?

Yes.

Purshottamji.

Tanya's Dad does not know anything about the marriage, the dining table or the child

I'll talk to him.

You, just

What happened? Is something stuck?

Sometimes rice gets stuck in my mustache.

Oh, man!

Just keep quiet.

Keep your mouth shut.

He is a

simple, sober man.

I'll talk to him and make him understand.

People drive like such maniacs.

Oh, it's dad.

Dad, I've been calling you since morning

What happened? What is the matter?

Your father called me 5 minutes back.

What did you do to Tanya?

I didn't do anything!

Stop it uncle!

U.P already has a bad name!

Listen to me at least!

She forced me!

I just wanted to eat the noodles and sleep!

Who beats up there soon to be son-in-law like this, uncle?

I considered you to be Alok Nath and

you turned out to be Amrish Puri.

Won't I get angry?

His father tells me, 'Congratulations, you're going to be a grandpa!'

Then he says,

'Mikesh doesn't want to get married.'

and that 'we don't know where Tanya is!'

I hurt my hand or I'd

You've forgotten everything.

Hiding from Tanya and drinking alcohol,

watching live matches on Hangouts,

bitching about the HR people in our offices.

You've forgotten everything.

In my emergency contacts, I'd saved your name over Tiwari's.

If you don't answer your phone, how do I tell you anything?

What would you have told me?

Tanya's pregnant?

I would have told you that Tanya's pregnant

but I don't want to get married only because of this reason.

What do you mean?

I want to get married to her,

when she feels the same way.

Not because 9 months later there will be a child.

She's already struggling with the pressure of becoming a mother.

Now let's force her to become a wife.

I can marry her day after tomorrow,

but even she should feel the same way, right?

Uncle, we'll need at least a day for preparation.

I'm suggesting a realistic plan.

I'm getting very tensed.

I wonder what condition will Tanya bhabhi be in.

We've looked everywhere.

Places to hang-out,

places to eat,

her friends places.

We've been unable to find her.

She's done this before.

I have no clue where she disappears.

Once she cools down,

she'll be back by morning.

She shares your chromosome.

In the morning , the father disappears

and at night, the daughter.

I had something to do, that is why I couldn't answer your phone.

What was so important

that you couldn't even talk for 2 minutes?

I wanted to share something with Tanya.

Something important.

I didn't want to face her.

Preparing?

Was your daughter going to take a telephonic interview

that you were 'preparing' for?

Just pick up the phone and say what you want.

I didn't want to tell her on the phone!

I wanted to tell her in person.

What is so important?!

Is it more important than your daughter's wedding?

Yes, it is.

What could be more important than your daughter's wedding?

It could be my wedding too.

Dad?

You?

Marriage?

Please don't be judgemental.

I was embarrassed to tell Tanya, that's all.

I didn't know that the day I'd like to tell her about it

Maybe I should have told you later.

No, no, uncle

In marriage related affairs,one shouldn't postpone matters too much.

Go ahead, tell us.

So, I've decided.

From now on,

I'll be happy.

How? By switching off your cellphone?

That is just a precautionary measure.

No cellphone, no Mikesh.

No Mikesh, no stress.

No stress... Happy Life.

Apart from the blatant oversimplification,

the plan makes sense.

Quite mature of you.

No, I'm serious.

There's a pattern to this.

I'm happy

then Mikesh does something

and my happiness just

If my happiness is a Mosquito, then Mikesh is a Mosquito coil,

they repel each other.

Of course.

In the past 4 years,

you haven't been happy with him, have you?

Aunty, you don't understand.

I don't need Mikesh to be happy.

For that matter, I don't need any man to be happy.

Do you think I need a man to be happy?

You don't need a man to be happy.

No woman needs a man to be happy.

You never got married, you're always happy.

I'm always happy.

Except for the time I go on Facebook,

So, for those 5 minutes I hate my life

And I cry,

and I contemplate suicide

but then

I have some ice-cream and I'm happy.

Are you trying reverse psychology on me?

I'm a Lawyer, not a Psychiatrist.

By the way, Mikesh had called a while back.

What did you tell him?

The same thing I used to tell your father, that you're not with me.

What did he say?

Does it matter?

No.

So,

relax.

Keep your phone switched off

and be happy.

Maasi... What are you doing to me?

I've been calling dad since morning,

Will you listen to me?

Tell me.

You know exactly what I'm about to say,

and you agree with me.

How can I know what you're going to say?

You do. And you approve of it.

That's why you're curling your hair with your hand.

What?

Tanya! Don't lie to me at least.

Look when you know what's coming,

and you approve of it,

you curl your hair.

Still, you want to hear it from the other person.

That's not true.

Okay. Fine.

Tanya.

Call Mikesh and

tell him to come here and pick you up.

I don't approve of it.

You're wrong.

My phone will remain switched off.

Chapter closed.

Fine.

No problem.

Let's lay back and eat food.

I'll just warm the food.

And in the meantime let him get bothered. Al right?

Films are unrealistic.

romances someone on screen,

'they look so cute,

love is eternal, love conquers all.'

And in reality if I were to get married

you know what they'll say?

'The man's feeling young at this age',

he's getting his wings in old age.'

Nobody will believe it.

Do you know someone in a middle class family

who has got married at my age?

Daddy did, in '14.

There's no such thing, Dad.

You're just 4 years older than Salman Khan.

It's not that simple.

I can still bear peoples comments

but what do I tell Tanya?

How would she feel

about her father

getting a new mother?

You've been lonely since so long.

Don't even have someone to cuddle with.

First I'll talk to Tanya about our wedding,

then your relationship.

After our marriage ceremonies,

you and aunty get married at the same venue.

We'll all Dutch and save some expenses.

But after I speak with Tanya,

I'll also need to make her understand.

Who?

Girlfriend?

Yes.

She doesn't want to get married?

We've been fighting over it since a week.

Loving someone is a full-time job.

Tell me about it.

Nobody finds true love in the world, uncle.

I really loved Phulwari,

purely and piously.

But here we are,

she's about to give birth to my second younger sibling.

I don't have any bitterness in my heart, uncle.

But I have truly loved my mother.

Mother! I love you!

Hey Purshottamji!

Mother!

People are sleeping.

I love you!

You haven't finished half a peg and you're drunk.

Come down!

I love you mother.

No, papa.

Don't take it literally.

Different contexts.

I'll explain later.

So what now?

Is she angry? Isn't talking to you?

She's upset with me.

Doesn't want to talk.

First you need to get out of the 'father-mode'.

Try to understand,

we have an argument

then I try to talk to her

and she begins to cry.

She cries even when its her fault.

How do I make her understand?

You have no idea, do you?

Do you know

what is more dangerous than a woman's tears?

What is?

A man's tears.

Do you mean I should cry?

What rubbish.

I thought,

'men feel no pain'

It pained, right?

Does that mean you're not a man?

Dad,

From your times to now,

the norms of masculinity have completely changed.

Yes, there's a new chapter called

'Post-modern-man'

The sensitive, cute, caring man.

They cook and go grocery shopping.

I've made some notes, I'll share them .

And all that jazz about

fighting a bunch of boys, being macho?

You love a boyfriend not wrestle with him!

Being macho, WWF , is passé.

Now, the real man cries.

The one who doesn't cry, isn't a man.

Dad,

be a man and go and talk to her!

Cry your eyes out.

Be a man and cry like a bitch.

You mean if I do this, she'll agree?

A man's tears are very cute.

She'll forget about teddy bears.

Repeat after me,

I'm a man.

I'm a man.

Loudly!

I will cry!

Loudly!

I will cry!

Good.

Now go and be the man.

Right now?

Just

be the man!

Will I have to walk?

It's al right if I don't have an option.

You bring up these practical problems and ruin everything.

Sir

take Shabnam.

She often helps people lost in love meet.

Take care of Shabnam uncle!

Hello, Tanu?

Where do you disappear?

Thank you god.

Is she al right? Please give me the phone.

Of course, all of us were so tensed.

I haven't even been able to drink water!

At your Maasi's?

But she said that

Never mind.

Will be there soon.

We'll sit down and talk.

the car

Shall we call for another OLA sir?

Feeling better?

You're very happy, aren't you?

A lot.

You must be feeling good about sending me away.

What will you do tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

He's here, already?

Was he standing right outside?

What a creep.

Ila, I

Dad?

Tanya?

What are you doing here?

What happened to your hand?

It happened while

we were looking for you.

Mikesh and I have

been so worried.

Is this the way to behave?

Call him immediately.

I just spoke to him on the phone.

How did you know I was here?

I'm your father, silly girl.

I have got chocolates for you.

Hey, I don't like this flavour at all.

Enough.

Enough for the day.

You will eat this.

Quietly eat the chocolates.

Have a seat, I'll go get water.

Drop him till his house.

Purshottamji.

Hurry up,

or I'll give you one star.

My mom must be waiting for me at home.

I love my mom very much.

Don't mind,

he affectionately calls his girlfriend mom.

Start the car,

don't keep mumbling on the way. Keep quiet.

Directly go home.

Give my regards to Tanya bhabhi.

Yes, I will. Bye.

Put your hand inside.

Ila,

all okay?

Yes. All Ok.

We haven't met in a while,

At Arti's wedding.

Right. Tanya was also there.

Tanu

Why you get so angry?

You just leave,

Hi Dad.

Hi Massi.

I've been calling you since

Hey, Dad.

What are you doing here?

Let's go inside and talk.

Come on, it's important.

Cooool.

Look in front Tanya or you'll bump into something.

You think she's an idiot?

Don't you think she'll figure it out?

I'm not scared.

I'll tell her.

Great.

Then?

we'll get married.

It's that simple, is it?

What is your age?

Salman Khan isn't married.

And you have a child from your first marriage.

Yes, do you have a problem with that?

Look, Ila. If you get married at this age,

either you'll find

divorcees

or widowers.

Stop kidding.

How would Tanya feel about this?

Since 29 years, that's all I've been thinking about.

And since 22 years, I've been doing it alone.

Now I want to think about myself.

I just want to

Have some fun?

Yes, I want to have some fun.

Is it wrong for

someone like me to, have some fun?

Is it wrong?

You know

after Uma's death

I used to play cricket with the colony kids, after office.

I

loved it. I enjoyed it.

But then, they started judging me.

'Look at him,

he's so happy.

It's been 6 months since

his wife passed away and he's '

I got scared

so I stopped going.

I don't want to stop now.

If Tanya doesn't have a problem and

you don't have a problem,

then I don't care.

I know what you're saying is correct

but

I don't want to face Tanya.

To save yourself from having one uncomfortable conversation

Yes, I am.

Look, I don't think we should

take this any further.

Let's just end it while we can.

What happened?

I want to marry you.

What is there to cry about?

I want to marry you.

Yes, we'll talk about it.

What happened to your hand?

It happened while we were looking for Tanya

We'll talk about it, okay?

You think I want to marry you because of the baby?

Last year we almost got married. That means nothing to me?

and suddenly now because of the baby, I want to marry you?

Why are you clenching your teeth and talking?

If I say yes, you'll scold me and

even if I say no, you'll scold me.

Give me a hint.

Everybody only cares about the baby!

Your mom, my maasi,

everyone is saying 'eat this, don't do this, do this'

Did anyone say 'Tanya how are you feeling?'

No.

Suddenly, I don't have an identity of my own.

I feel like a packet,

the main item is inside me and once that comes out

I'll be thrown in the trash.

It could also be a 'she' .

Stop correcting my grammar!

Tanu

Are you sleeping?

Wait, I'll come and cuddle.

Just taking off my shoes.

Tanu,

keep your head on my shoulder please

or the cuddle will become pointless.

Move your foot, it's heavy.

Sorry.

Samepinch.

I think he's kicking.

It doesn't happen so soon , Mikesh.

Then probably your stomach is upset.

Tanu

what next.

Tanu

I'm sorry.

I don't know.

Just felt like it.

Tanu,

what happened?

I will be so fat Mikesh.

I'll put on so much of weight.

No,

I've told you I like the weight.

I'll be like those Punjabi aunties

that you make fun of.

Hey, you'll look really good.

Cougar type.

Are you drunk?

Did you drink?

Happy Hours were on at Shankari Bar

so, on our way we had a couple of

Have you seen the diet chart?

I'm already feeling dizzy just looking at it.

We'll diet together.

we'll get pregnant together.

I'll be such a bad mom.

I have no motherly instincts. I'm so selfish.

Why are you thinking like that?

You'll be a great mother.

You'll look really hot and be really cool.

You'll be a 'cool dad'.

I'll be the one who'll have to scold the baby.

And he'll

hate me

and love you.

No,

I'll beat him so much and fuck his

Did that already.

I'll really beat him up.

Micky

Yes?

You'll love me more than the baby, right?

Always.

Your dad's here

he'll break my nose.

Uncle

Dad

I wanted to talk to you about something.

Tell me?