Original subtitles

You guys are chatting here,

So your wife is a foreigner?

Since when do you know Chanchal?

You had a divorce?

You are the remix guy

Lunch...lunch is served

Can we go get a drink somewhere?

No, that won't be possible

So now you know what I am dealing with

Yeah hello, what happened?

I am.. I am not feeling too well

You go

I am really sorry but

both of you need to leave right now

They will not go anywhere tonight

Outside you roam around like the king of the jungle

but the truth is in the bedroom you..

Just,

get the fuck out of my house

Listen,

Be angry for a few days

after that if Pranav says sorry go back

Fighting like this

I don't want to talk about it

So are you planning to actually leave him?

Who breaks off a marriage like this?

Great!

I think I have set the

Just because my marriage broke off

Baba, let it go,

You can't solve everything

Hey Chitvan, it is a serious matter okay?

Chitvan, stop the car and drop me off

His sermons are not going to stop

Amazing, if I try to talk

Hmmm..

Hmmm..

hmm..

Buddha

Sermon!

The thing is in just a day

I've heard so much pure Hindi, Baba

I am absolutely bedazzled

I think we are heading the wrong way

Don't be negative, Baba

I am telling you we are lost

Baba, chill

We have to take a right ahead

There is nothing right ahead

Everything is wrong from here

Just take a U-turn now

Baba, don't panic

The tea stall guy told us

to go this way right?

He also told us that

in 15 minutes we will reach the main road

for one and a half hours

Arrey everybody in the evening here

consumes Bhang

and then they speak rubbish

So then was it necessary

to run off at midnight

We could have at the same

We could have peacefully had lunch

Hey, just take a U-turn now

Baba

Chitvan, just take a bloody U-turn Na

Where?

Something flickered there

One second

Hey, what are you doing?

Baba I can see far off things better, right?

You can't see anything nearby, idiot

switch on that light

Arrey just swit..

What the hell man?

What a loser, Baba?

I am smart

not afraid

popped in front of us suddenly?

What?

Ghosts?

Huh, what nonsense

What if a man came in front of the car?

or some animal, a deer or something?

Hey

Hey, just stop it yaar

It's not funny okay?

Baba, it's okay

Everybody gets afraid

Everybody shits their pants

Chitvan,

Just switch on the light okay?

this is not funny

this is stupid and dangerous

Arrey where did that light go?

I haven't seen any lights yet

I saw the lights there

it was coming from the right side

No, it was coming from left

from extreme left

Man, this is extremely stupid

Just stop the fucking car

Since a long time we've been fighting over

right and left

Just stop the car right now, yaar

Baba we crossed a fence behind, no?

Did we cross the border

and reach Pakistan

Ya in the morning two policemen

will come and say

Sir, please come with us you are fucked

we are in Jodhpur

Hey,

On a full moon night

the desert sand looks like silver

Chitvan, what are you doing?

Finding wood for a bonfire

Hey, have we come here for a picnic?

Here everybody's life is fucked

we have lost our way

Now in this stress

We will light up the bonfire

and listen to melancholic music or what?

Nice track

Thanks

Remember when there were power cuts

My dirty secret

In the darkness we used to

tell each other secrets that nobody knew

Ya, I remember

I had stolen Bunty Jaiswal's tape recorder

I told you guys

and you guys went and told mom and dad

I was beaten up

Because that was wrong Chitvan

He is taking revenge of that

Tells all of our secrets to mom and dad

No, but you guys broke the rule of the game

and Chanchu

The name of the game is ' my dirty secret'

It is not 'my good karma for the day'

right?

Okay sorry

Now don't cry

Should we play now?

No!

Why?

Now you want to play

a game in this situation?

So what other options do you have?

Okay come, your turn

Start

Hey, I don't want to play any games

ask her only

Hey, come on dude

Okay ladies first

Okay

I had sex before marriage

Hey, everyone did

I mean does

No, I mean

right before

between my engagement and wedding

Not with Pranav

What?

Nice!

How is it nice?

and anyway I am telling you guys

my secret so don't judge

So it happened in my bachelorrete party

in Goa

He was Scottish

Ooh how was it?

Hey, I don't want to know

It was amazing

Hey are you his brother or girl friend

Chill Na, I am not telling the details

Anyway, I felt really bad later on

Obviously

No, not that I had sex

But,

I wish

I just wish I had done it with a black guy

Okay, that's just

Racist? Yeah

No, that's not what I meant but

alright, forget it

Chanchu,

Hmm?

What did you see in Pranav?

Pranav

You know when I first met Pranav

He was my senior then

He used to come to college in an open jeep

He used to do wildlife photography

He was a member of the flying club

He was really cool back then

And our interests were the same.

But then when his father passed away,

They were under a lot of debt

Disputes started off in the family

regarding the property

And,

It was getting difficult

to handle such a big palace

So Pranav took all the responsibilities

And now he is stuck there

And you too got stuck with him

Are you crying?

It's just that

I don't have anybody to talk to

If I tell mom dad,

they'll get worried for no reason

You are settled in US

He never picks up

I am sorry I am going on like this

but it is just that

if somebody sits

and hears me out then

I'll feel much better

I'll be able to handle

this situation way better

You know Pranav is not a bad guy

I really love him

I do

I was in jail for three days

What?

I was smoking a joint outside the club

I had really nice gig

Whoever came and praised the gig,

I offered them the joint

The seventh guy, mothefucker

turned out to be a policeman

He smoked the whole joint with me

Ten thousand rupees fine

back to square one

But, I befriended him

Everything is off the record,

no criminal history

I am good

Wow!

I don't know whether to be

worried about you

I am worried

Proud is a little difficult

Fuck, you actually went to jail?

Arrey!

Okay come on, your turn now

Told you already I got a divorce

Now what?

Hey, that's not fair

Baba that is no secret

All the waitresses know that in my club

Tell us a bigger secret

how many notes did you manage to

extract out of the divorce

What?

He earned money out of his divorce

What?

You got money?

How did you do it?

Tell me even I'll try

Nothing man, his foreigner wife

was getting naughty

So, she was having white bread

Acha okay, come on

time for your dirty secret

I'm afraid to sleep in the dark.

Baba, there's nothing secret in this too

Why don't you listen for once?

Stop spoiling the melancholic mood!

Go ahead

Yeah, so I'm afraid to sleep in the dark

I don't know why is this happening.

And the problem exacerbated in Brooklyn.

Then Paula came in my life.

We worked together, traveled together,

Then Paula...

Started coming home late.

I used to lie down with the lights on

Then one night she...

Opened the door and I didn't hear anything

What I heard was her phone call

About the details of

her sex life with her boyfriend, Harvey.

That was that.

And...so...

This is my dirty secret.

I am afraid to sleep in the dark.

The way I see it,

Your phobia saved you

From sham called marriage.

And made him a millionaire.

God should give such problems to everyone.

I also want a divorce!

When was the last time that we,

Three of us, were together like this?

Sarojini Nagar

Right before the exams, right?

It's quite nice, right?

Yeah, we should do it more often.

Yeah

I always say

In fact,

Fuck melancholy. I'll just change the fucking track.

Let's use Harman speakers in our Tiago.

Let me show you how it's done.

Yeah!

Baba, I frankly didn't see any light.

Why?

No one saw any light?

Did you?

No but you both were so convinced...

Only chanchal saw Th light but she is in depression

Shut up!

Hey,

What is that?

Looks like a party!

Let's join!

Wow!

They're awesome!

That middle-one looks like Paula

I feel like I'm in Mad Max

What a day!

What a lovely day!

Gulping beer down and...

Look at their perfect bodies!

One minute,

Get back.

This mirage!

You know them?

She isn't mirage. The English term - mirage

Oh, that helps.

Shalom

I'm Chandan.

Baba, shalom means hello.

Wait, let me handle this.

Where are you from, shalom?

From Israel

Israel, Israel!

*Hebrew*

Oh, nice.

Come,

He speaks Israeli?

Israeli isn't a language, Israel is a country and Hebrew is its language.

I don't know what he does.

Might have learned it in the jail.

You're slightly jealous of Chitvan, right?

Of course not.

Maybe a little.

Come

This is Yaile.

Hi, Yaile

Hi

That is Ruqsana.

Hi!

Tanya

Hi, Tanya. How are you?

Very nice to meet you.

They know the way.

These sweeties will take us to the service station.

We'll check on the car and on our hunger.

I've talked to them.

Listen, now I'll tell you what the plan is.

I'll go to the service station with them in the van

And you come with Chanchal in Tiago

Baba

I'll eat the fruit when I planted the seeds

You guys follow us in the Tiago

Ladies, you follow me.

Come.

Nice shirt

All okay?

Yeah

Thank you for

helping us get here

So now?

Now, we should go...

Long way

Yes...

Chotu, where's the bathroom?

Up

Oh, up. Okay.

Come, I'll show you.

I also go.

Oh, you also... okay

One second

Come

Thank you

Thank you

Whoa what are you doing?

Shoshana

Shoshana, not here. Not this, please.

No

Oh,Indian. Indian, yes.

Wanna waste time

Waste time, sorry?

Okay, no problem but more money

Chitvan paid this for you.

No problem but more money

One minute...Chitvan gave you money for this

Let me just have a word with Chitvan and I'll be back

I'm so sorry about this. I'll be back in a...

Bawa?

You paid her to do all that with me?

Baba, how does it matter who paid?

You had fun, right?

Bastard!

I thought it will happen this time because

she reminded you of naughty bhabhi

Means?

That Payal too?

Asshole!

Baba

That food place chic too?

A little incentive is needed, Baba.

You ass, you stay there! I'll get you!

What are you doing, Baba?

Baba!

Baba, this is wrong

Baba, I'm a hard hitter

Telling you you'll get hurt

Baba, don't you abuse me!

Stop choking me, dumbass...

Baba, I was worried about you

Baba has become a monster

You betrayed me!

Your car...

What the fuck

What non-sense is this

Did Chanchal take it?

I doubted her since childhood

You look like a thief! How can you doubt me?

Who took the Tiago when all of us are here?

RV isn't here too!

Oh shit!

Oh fuck!

Baba, I'm so sorry