Original subtitles

Haan? Where is it?

Page no. 8. Next to thai desert delight.

Hmm okay!

And lets order a jaljeera. Tiwari told me that Jaljeera helps avoid gastric troubles.

Allright you have it. I wont.

Then even I wont have it.

Okay. Your wish.

I was just asking if I should order it or not.

Allright. Then don’t order it.

But I feel like having it.

Then order it!!! Whats the big deal Mikesh?

Why are you scolding me?

That uncle was watching us you know.

You should keep my public image in mind before doing this.

You proposed to me in front of a rag-picker.

Are you mad at me? Did I mess something up?

No, everything is fine.

Are you sure?

Trust me. I’ll tell you if something’s bothering me.

So.

Im good at acting right? I still remember.

You couldn’t even tell.

What do you remember?

Happy Birthday ma’am.

Happy Buddayy! Am I not romantic. Everyone called me Roorkee’s

23rd December.

Shit!

What is this?

First surprise.

What? What more have you done?

Look at this.

What is this?

Our new home.

Ahh..our?

Spoke to Purushottam ji too. The documents shall be ready in 2 days.

You want to move in with me?

Yes, ofcourse! I’ll live with you only right? Tiwari is now

Staying with Gokul in Bhanduk. Don’t you like that flat?

Its not the flat Mikesh. Its us!

Whats wrong with us?

Mikesh you left everything in the US and you came here

So that you can convince me to marry you.

And ever since you came here, Ive convinced you for the opposite.

Even you don’t want to get married right?

I’m not able to drink jaljeera without your approval. How’d have I married you?

You know I was never

About this relationship.

Because I was really scared

About commitment, just getting vulnerable.

My feelings grew towards you

And I started getting serious.

But when I got serious

Mikesh we are just never on the same page.

There has to be something really wrong with us.

Whaa..

Are you saying that we should..

I'm...I’m just saying that eventually we would.

So we should.

Happy birthday Tanya.

Next month.

Sorry Tanya. I was confident that you’re a capricon.

But then Mikesh said that youre really smart so you must be Sagittarian.

Youre not even on facebook.

I followed his words like an idiot. Where is he?

Drink it all at once.

What’ll happen then?

Want more?

Dude its just a break-up. Millions of people break up everyday. Ive broken up 17 times.

And anyway she wasn’t even Celina jaitely to make you cry over her.

There are many girls is this world dude. Whatsay Brijmohan?

She’s a little naïve, son. Ill speak to her.

I’ll get all sentimental and she’ll understand.

Why should you make her understand uncle?

Till when are you going to have to do this?

You only said that you wont force her for an arranged marriage.

So now youll force her for a relationship?

What do you want son?

I don’t want anything uncle. I’m done with all this. I’m done!

I just know one thing, DATA ANALYSIS. I’ll do just that now.

I’ve compromised a really big project to be here you know. I receive a mail from them every Monday.

They’re calling me back.

Now I cant..jeopardise my career for this.

I don’t want to do this anymore.

What is the problem with your generation? You don’t like your wife..change her?

You don’t like your girlfriend..change her?

Tomorrow you wont like your parent..what’ll you do then?

You guys have been committed for so long.

How can you give up so early? then you only tell me. What should I do?

I asked her to marry me. But she’s confused.

She does not let me sleep on the bed properly if we live in.

You committed a fundamental mistake by going easy on her.

And that’s why she took you for granted. Girlfriends should always be…

Hello babe! No im not with Mikesh. I am studying for UPSC right?

Yeah sure, ill get tomatoes. Okay bye. Love... so what was I saying?

Girlfriends should always.. yeah a girlfriend should always be kept on her toes.

Please try to think once.

I’ve already given it a thought uncle.

I replied back to the mail too.

They’ll send me back as soon as I get my visa.

I don’t even want to talk to you people.

You don’t try to understand only.

Do what you feel like.

Tanya, I completely forgot.

Mikesh wanted to show this to you yester-night during the party.

Hi Tanu! How are you feeling? Happy Bday.

Cool!

Sexy t shirt dude!

Don’t thank me now. Consider me your man only.

So?

Excited?

So all your friends are there with you. But there are some friends who could not make it.

They’ve sent a really nice message for you.

Lets hear what they have to say.

Cut!

Hello Tanya. How are you? Happy Budday girl Happy Budday!

What a moment! In the beginning I got reaaly angry on seeing mikesh.

But then he told me that you guys are shifting.

Its really saddening Tanya. Ill have to break your deposits now.

But its nothing to worry about..nothing to worry about.

Ill increase the rent of my next tenant now.

There’s an issue with the setting right?

Hey Tanya! Im really soory. We couldn’t make it to the party.

My uncle is involved in a court case and we are the witnesses.

So yeah! Life’s been a bitch.

Anyhoo you are a really sweet person.

On the count of 3..everyone! one.two.three..happy birthday Tanya!

Is it recording?

Yes it is.

Hi! Mikesh bhaiya! Hello tanu bhabhi.

Hi Tanya! Happy birthday!

Really! Thank you guys! Mikesh bhaiya told us on the phone that you are moving in together. Now we are just waiting for the news of your wedding.

Mikesh bhaiya..wedding umm..

But get married guys..its wonderful

And chuck goa for your honeymoon..come to nepal. Its really beautiful. Haven’t really explored much though. Been in the hotel for 2 days. But did look at the sites during our ride from the airport. We’re just about to leave now.

Okay happy birthday once again! and bhaiya listen. The 3rd Position was really cool. It goes on auto-pilot on coordination.

How was it?

I made the whole video.

For you!

I missed your birthday for 3 years right. So just making up for it.

And wanted to thank you too.

You’ve helped me a lot, Tanu

Do you remember the times when I missed Indian food a lot? Then You used to teach me cooking from your kitchen on skype.

And when you did not know the cooking process of a particular dish, you’d learn it up beforehand to teach me.

Now even I cook kadhai panner amazingly well. Ive kept it in the refrigerator. We shall have it tomorrow for lunch.

And remember how we used to watch the same movie at the same time?

And then we would talk about it while chatting.

It was such a wonderful time. Used to feel like we’re sitting together and watching the movie.

All I wanted to tell you was.. youre not just my girlfriend,

Youre like my best friend.

Tanu you’re the best roommate one can ever have.

I LOVE YOU.

Now what are you looking at? Say that you love me too. And hug me.

And be sure, if you hug me..everyone will start clapping.

Okay now speak to the mikesh sitting next to you..because this mikesh is leaving now.

Ritu!

What am I doing ritu?

Stop crying

What if im wrong?

Listen!

Tanya!

I dont know mikesh. Hmm?

But I know you.

And you did the right thing.

Mikesh is really adorable.

But I don’t think..

i don’t think he knows about the responsibilities

Going to have.

Tomorrow when you guys will be required to take important decisions of your lives… the cuteness, the romantic gestures.

They wont matter.

And frankly speaking Tanya, its..

Its allright yaar.

Its..its okay.

What do you think?

Do you think laxaman and I will get married and have kids?

No right?

How does it mater yaar? Right now we both love each other.

We care for each other. But we both know that

Like everything else,

This wont last forever.

Hmm?

You..

You please stop crying. Please.

Everything will be allright. Hmm?

How could it go wrong?

My mother made me have curd and sugar early morning before I left.

And I told my father too; if im not able to complete this deal,

I shall become a postman in his desired post-office.

Being a broker is in my blood.

This deal shall be completed without any glitches.

My daddy helped Sangeeta Bijlani buy a flat.

Uncle don’t you know, who sangeeta bijlani is?

The 3rd woman in tridev.

Okay tridev? The film which had SRK in it?

Yeah coming.

You watched trimurti uncle.

Uncle has gotten confused between tridev and trimurti.

You left this place.

Yeah sign there too.

Can I borrow a pen please.

Next to the temple. Buy it from there.

come here without a pen. Next!

I need to meet Mr. Atul chaubey. Are you atul chaubey?

No. im Mahesh. Okay

Wait. Where are you going? I am Atul.

Gimme your documents.

Who is Mahesh then? sit sit.

Tanya Nagpal shall live with Mikesh Chaudhary. Youre mikesh chaudhary?

No Im purushottam.

Are you their servant?

No im a broker.

Diid you make these documents?

Yes!

What is this?

Pin code 022. This is the PIN CODE and you’ve put in the STD code?

Instead of Mr. and Mrs., you’ve written bhaiya and bhabhi?

They are my clients. Giving them Respect is my obligation.

Abe!

Where’s the party?

I'll throw you a party in kanha’s ladies bar. First you finalise the papers.

Ohh the house hunting party?

Why are they required?

I have to click their picture. They are supposed to sign here.

ohh!

My signature wont do?

Are you buying this house? Who is this guy yaar?

Purushottam maharaj, firstly you rectify your documents.

And get both the parties along tomorrow.

Get both the parties by 4:30 today evening.

I don’t stay here after 5pm.

Get up and get both the parties right now.

Okay! Ill get them.

Getting heated up for no reason.

God knows who left him open to mess around like this.

Next!

You have a pen?

Go, get it then!

Hello!

Cancel the deal.

No I don’t want that flat.

What?

Paperwork, deposits..everything has been dealt with. All I need is your signature.

Deposit? Who gave you the deposit?

Mikesh ji! 2 lakhs as deposit, the rent for 3 months.

The only thing left is my brokerage. Ill prefer cash.

Purushottam ji I told you over the phone right? We don’t want the flat anymore. We both..

We just cant take the flat.

Bhabhiji it’s a wonderful house.

You please speak to the owner and return mikesh’s money. Its not a small amount.

I've spoken to the owner already. How do I now..?

Purushottam ji. We really cant rent the flat.

Mikesh ji!!

What wereyou trying to say?

Nah nothing.

We’re not renting the flat right?

Make me speak to the owner. Ill take my deposit back from him.

Where is he?

Llook atulji! Ive decided that I wont give my flat to bachelors.

Last time I rented a 2BHK and got a 1BHK in return.

They broke the partitioning wall and I didn’t even get to know.

Hi

Hi! Rajat

Tanya nagpal

Ohh Tanya! I was wondering Who Tanya was. Didn’t get to meet her, where’s Tanya? Whos tanya..

Mikesh. You spoke to me right?

Yeah. Mr Chaudhary. How are you?

You tell me? You weret feeling good the last time we spoke. Gastric troubles.

Yeah! I took 2 glasses of jaljeera. Got better.

Ohh jaljeera. Jaljeera is the best remedy in such cases

I advocate this. People don’t listen to me only. Solves all the gas problems

Rajat wadhwani?

Mikesh chowdhary?

And Tanya?

Oey

Ghatotkach. Stand up! Let madam have the seat.

No no! its okay im fine.

Oye! Get up! Stand up and face that side.

Tanya ji. Please take the seat.

And Mikesh ji. You are

Required to sign here. Please!

Sir umm..

Actually rajat there’s been a slight change in plans.

We’ve discussed about it a lot and..

We cant take this flat

Ohh okay..

You're a stand up comedian?

No no Im a data analyst.

Umm rajat what he’s trying to say is that

We cant take this flat. We’ll have to cancel this agreement.

Wait I was saying that we cant take this flat. We’ll have to cancel this agreement.

Sorry I just repeated the same thing.

Now please return the advance as early as possible. So sorry for the inconvenience.

What is this? Inconvenience?

Im leaving for dubai on Sunday. Do I search for new tenants on the airport?

Are you asking me sir? I have no idea about the airport.

Does any of you have any idea about the place youre sitting at?

Sir! We're in Mulund.

Abey yaar! You!.

See this is the registerar’s office.

If you guys want to while away time, Neptune Magnet mall is just next to this building.

Stuff there is on sale too.

But how can you? I..I’m not returing any advance okay?

Rajat we said that we are sorry. Now you cant just force us to..

Arre what force? He checked the place himself.

And he finalised the deal and then got a box of laddoos.

I told him that ive gastric troubles and he still forcefully made me have them.

I..I’m not returning any money

Look this is not cool okay? You know we can take legal action against you right?

What do you think..I’m afraid of you? I have my uncle's son too..

My relatives are in the high court okay? 3 lakhs 5 thousand right? Im not returing even 5 rupees to you

Now wait wait, gimme a minute.. I did not know you had gastric problems yaa..gimme a minute.

This is the key to the flat. Now its up to you if you want to stay there or not. Give me the pen and ill sign and leave.

I spend 1000 bucks monthly on the stationary.

And you two,

You should have thought about it before paying the advance right.

Siir that’s a personal matter.

And its 5 already.

My younger son has his karate class at 5:30.

What is it Mukesh ji?

Tell me what is it?

Why aren’t you taking the flat?

Sir the thing is,

But youre sitting together only

We’re sitting together, but

We are not together anymore

Why are we all quiet?

No..see I understand the situation but..

I cannot return the money so you both decide between yourselves about the person staying in my flat.

But how can you not..

Listen don’t act like you care okay?

Why are you talking like this here?

I was just saying because you need it. You need it so you should take it.

I don’t need it.

Because im going back..

US!

Now I cant scew it up again.

You used to say right, “mikesh grow up”. Now Ive grown up.

Listen!

You’ve to go to US.

He has to go to dubai

And ive to go the karate class in 15 minutes.

And here you go- im giving you my pen too.

Now whoever wants the place...

Please sign here quickly.

I left.my career for you.

Please.

Allright I'ill take the place. Where am I supposed to sign?

Below the..

You're completely doing it the right way.

You continue, you continue.

You want to come across as the better person by demeaning me right?

I'm demeaning you? Im being the better person?

Mikesh you wanted to get married in the beginning.

Then you didn’t want to get married.

You also had doubts about our future. Didn’t you?

What future?

Is marriage the only future?

The rest is bullshit?

Marriage is a one-day procedure wherein random people come as guests, stuff themselves with chicken roti and leave.

The before- and after- marriage periods don’t matter???

Youre saying all this?

The guy who proposed to me without brushing his teeths as soon as his plane landed in india.

You spoke to my father and looked up the house with him without my permission. And now you’re behaving as if marriage was my agenda.

We are poles apart okay?

I function on logic and you function on emotions which is great for you

But im not the one who is goint to make you happy.

There’s an outcome for everything Mikesh and im not your outcome.

What is this outcome?

Is love no outcome?

There’s no such thing as outcome. Its all bullshit.

But we did it right?

Because we loved each other.

If I miss out on 2-3 deliveries, you take care of it in the next over.

But you toh left the pitch and ran away.

You didn’t try only.

Fuck yaar!

Atleast sign the documents before leaving!!

What?

Hi Mikki! Whats up!

Nothing. I was just about to leave.

You can do this and I cant??

Be original

Mikesh please! You scared me a lot okay.

Am I ghost.. that I ended up scaring you?

No! when I commit a mistake. How long do you keep being mad at me?

Your antics are such only mikesh.

But I don’t break up like you right?

Sorry! I over reacted okay?

What are you doing?

Youre so tall yaar! Im not even being able to hug you.

Hug the guy you intend on marrying.

But I want to hug you only

But I don’t right? What is this yaar?

Okay fine.

But I want to ask you something okay?

What? Youre gonna come running?

Shhh.

See mikesh I have no idea about when we’re gonna get married

And honestly I don’t even care.

Youll irritate me a lot.

Youll surprise me on the wrong dates.

You wont give me any personal space and we’ll fight a lot.

But I want all these fights

To happen with you only.

So!

Mikesh chowdhary!

Will you please be my roommate forever?

Cool!

Actually I forgot my car’key in this keychain only

What are you doing?

My car’s key yaar. Your nails could help. will you please take it out.

Oh man! You should be a little careful with your key right?

Really sorry

Thank you and congrats.

Hello daddy!

Tear the post office’s admission form and throw it away.

Your son has become a professional broker today.

Is this a festive occasion?

Get going and finish your respective works.

It’s the registerar’s office.

Get going!

Mukesh!

Please sign the forms now.

Its quarter to 6 already!

Now if you don’t do it, my wife is gonna carry out karate lessons on me only.

The pen is also with you.

Its in your pocket.

Here here.

We’ve sorted out the house but

What about US?

Ill call you once I reach the airport.

I'll miss you.

No you wont.

Because mikki will always be with you.

Ohh. 4th surprise.

Could you be any lamer?

I had a great time.

Bye!

Mikki!

Im getting all tensed up and worried.

Tension out

Tanu!

Youll forget me in a year. You wont break up with me right?

No. im sorry.

I love you.

I love you too

Hi Tanu! Nice pictures right?

There are many more. Ive attached them in this mail.

New York is an amazing place yaar.

Times square is just like the church gate signal. But with better lighting.

Tiwari had also come. We played a lot in the snow.

I tend to slip a lot in the snow yaar.

We shall come to new York only for our honeymoon.

Tiwari was saying that touching the feet of the statue of

Liberty is know to improve the love life of couples.

Sorry for not being ablt to video chat with you..the

Web-cam had fallen in my soup yaar.

Made in china and sank in Chinese.

My sense of humor tends to freeze up in the cold yaar.

Allright then, I'll mail you tomorrow morning now. Im going to eat a pizza

Right now. You go to sleep now okay? Bbye! Enjoy!

Hello!

Hi Tanu! What are you doing?

FFFuck!